Brassic (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript

A distraught Erin arrives at Vinnie's shack in the wood with news that their friend Big Sandy has died. With no money for a proper funeral, Erin pleads with Vinnie to help and it is not ...

All right, Vinnie.
You understand what I've done?

How I've placed them.
Tell me what's next.

All right, Vinnie.
You understand what I've done?

How I've placed them.
Tell me what's next.

You attach the wires to the batch terminal,
which ignites the nitro-glycerine.

Good lad.

But before that, what do you do?

Stand well back.

Five, four, three, two, one.

Vinnie!

What?
Vin!



Fucking... What's going on?
What?

It's Big Sandy.
What?

What, love? What about it?

She's gone.

One sec. One sec.

Where's she gone?
She's gone, Vin.

Gone where?
She's dead.

She's dead, Vin.
Come here.

It's all right. It's all right.

Ooh, er...

It's morning glory.
Doesn't mean anything. All right?

Sit. You have a sit down.
I'm gonna make a brew.

We'll all help with the funeral,
all right? Flowers, speeches.

Yeah, but who's gonna pay for it?
Sam didn't have any savings.



What about your boss?
That fucking wanker?

He's tighter than a crab's arse.

Glen Glenson, Google "slippery fuck-wit"
and there's a photo of Glen.

Get the fat fuck moved.
We have punters coming in an hour.

Big Sandy was the Madame of the Rat And
Cutter, the local strip club cum brothel.

She was big
in every respect. She loved life,

and life loved her.

He's got money, thousands.
We know he has. We earn it.

Can't you get your hands on it?

He keeps it in a massive safe
in his office.

He has me in there once a month to
suck his balls. Oh!

Oh! Bloody hell. But where's his
office? Basement.

It's like Fort Knox in there Vin,
bolted doors, CCTV.

Do any of you have the keys?
Does he ever leave it open?

Uh-uh. Shit.

We have to do something.
She deserves a good send-off.

The fuck you doing?
Mo.

The bell, once, that's all it takes,
not ping, ping, ping.

How could you expect me to get out here?
Ping, ping, All day long. And you, you twat!

You gave me a bum steer on that horse! 800 I
put on Martika's Kitchen. It came fucking sixth.

Hang on. We all lost money that day.
I never said it was a sure thing.

You said, "Sure thing."
Those were your exact words.

"Sure thing!" Now you call me here,
ping, ping, fucking pinging?

What do you want?
It's Big Sandy, man.

What about her?
She just died, dude.

For... Not another one! Oh!

I'm knee-deep. You wanna see it back there.
I got three heroin addicts.

Someone set themselves on fire,
and an old woman's died of a stroke!

How am I gonna lift her?
I'm on me own today!

Gary, I'm sorry, man. It's just...

I kind of need it doing on tick,
dude.

Tick?
Does this look like a charity?

No. Does the sign say, "Abracadabra.
Registered fucking charity!"?

No, it says "Unertaker."
The bloody D has fallen off

or been peeled off. And trust me,
I got my suspicion about who did that.

No tick. Absolutely not. No way, nada,
nein, nyet, non gratis. Now fuck off!

Do that again. I
fucking dare you! Do it again.

You wanna fucking live here,
you little prick? Get the fuck...

It just hit me hard. That's all, man.

Just the thought that, one minute,
you can be there, full of life.

Next minute, you're fucking gone.
Mm.

And there's the bloody bipolar.
I spend so much time in me own head.

Like it...
Life, it's passed me by. It's gone.

You know, now I'm 30 years old.
I'm thinking to myself,

if I die tomorrow,
you know, what if I had done,

what the fuck
would people say about me?

Good things, Vin. They'll say
nice things. You know, you...

I think you contributed in
a lot of important ways.

Yeah? Like what?

Go on.
You've... There's...

You can't think of a bloody thing,
can you?

No! You're a...

You...
Well, you sell weed. What?

I sell weed? That's a source of
happiness for many people.

Speaking of which, could you sort me
out with some for the weekend?

I've got some friends coming round
for a reunion. Gonna, you know,

slide in a few tunes, roll a couple
of fat ones and...

Then it's the '90s again.

But I think, no, you've contributed
in many ways to people's lives.

Was that a yes on the weed?

We've been playing football,
and I've done some literacy.

Oh, wow. How did football go?
Good.

Good? Did you win? Yes. We won four,
and the other team got none.

Yeah. Did you score? Yeah.
Good boy.

Oh, all right. How's tricks?
Tricks is good.

How's tricks for you?
Oh, don't get me started.

My bowels are bleeding.
Dog's got cystitis.

And as for that dopy bastard,

he's been at it again.
What's it this time?

Hacking into government computers,
HMRC.

Nosing around, trying to find out
if Take That have paid their taxes.

Got myself a bloody tag now.
"Flight risk", they're saying.

I told him, "Free rent, free food,"
and a life-sized cardboard Gandalf.

He's not going anywhere.
Come on in, love.

Vortex?

I'm coming.
It's Vinnie. I've got your weed.

Entry is permitted.

Al right, mate?

How's it going, dude?

I trust you bought forth
my magical herbs.

Your mam says
you've had a bit of bother.

The state's trying to silence me,
but my powers are too strong.

Their systems and restraints
will never shackle my spirits.

I've got your usual 40 there.
Right. And...

I have gold coins only.

As long as there's 40 of them, dude.

Can you hack into anywhere, man?

Vincent, my powers are unstoppable.

Yeah, what about CCTV?
CCTV?

Piece of piss, mate!

Macaroni and cheese!

Ooh! You haven't had that
for a while. No.

All right, what with? What do you
want it with?

Carrots and bacon.

What? What do you want?
Carrots and bacon.

All right, then. We'll do that.
Go on. In you go.

And then a little bit of magic dust.

Voila! The Rat And Cutter.

Dude, that's amazing.
Let me have a look at that.

And this, I trust, is where
the loot is stashed.

All right. Can we...make it bigger?
Enlarge? I'm sure we can!

Fuck, dude! That's the safe there.

Could be in there in seconds.
This image just gets recorded 24/7?

From dusk till dawn.

All right, if someone
was to rob the place,

is there any way we could make the
camera go dark for an hour or so?

Well, with a little bit more
magic sprinkled on,

we can record the empty room
and play that on a continuous loop

back into the security system.

If someone robs it, there'd be
no record of them being there?

Correct.
All right, and you can set that up?

Oh! For a small remuneration, yes.

Free weed for a month.

Three months.
Take the piss.

Five weeks, I throw your mum in
a lady shaver. Done.

Come on, man.
You come on, Vincent!

You've made a deal with the wizard.

Ah.
Just get it done.

Now, this basement.
How are you getting access to that?

That's my next problem.

Sewers? Sewers. Sewers.

Sewers.
You're out of your mind.

It's fucking genius. Think about it.
I have. It's insane.

Right, listen to me. Every street
has access to its main sewers.

In case of blockage. In case...
I don't... Whatever.

All we need is one of them tools
to open the manhole.

And this is where we need to do our
homework now. There's homework? Christ!

We walk along the sewer until we're
exactly underneath the Rat And Cutter.

How will you know that? With a measuring
thing. Them things they use on rolls.

The clicky roller measuring thing.
Anyway, listen,

we measure it over ground.
Then we know how far underground.

See what I mean?
Fool-proof.

Piss off! I'm doing this
for Big Sandy's funeral.

Won't we be sloshing with shit?
No.

That's a common misconception,
90% of sewage waste

is actually water.
That's bullshit!

Look it up. What about the other 10%?
Shit!

It's not just shit.
There's piss as well.

There's all kinds of stuff.
You're missing the point.

Glen Glenson's office is a basement.

If we know exactly how far
down the sewer we need to go,

we just need to drill a hole
big enough

to squeeze through,
and we're in there.

This is genius.
Tell me I'm wrong.

You're wrong, mate.
That's the stupidest plan

I've heard all year. Let's see your
brilliant plan. Hang on.

Hang on. I'm the fucking genius.
There's an easier way.

Bloke comes into the dungeon, Mr Bishop.
After he's done, we get to talking.

He's loaded, right? Him and his missus
is getting divorced. Wonder why.

He says to me...
She's poisoned the kids against me.

She barely lets them visit.
Now, she's asking for more money.

I don't want her beaten up,
just a...

Just a straight message,
you know. This has to stop.

Correction, that's the stupidest
plan I've heard all year.

Three grand. She's a gold digger.
Count me out. And me.

And me.
I think it's worth a try.

Banana milk.
No, it's fatty.

Banana milk.
Would you just mind him one minute?

All right, what the fuck? What the
fuck, what? You two following me.

Do I - Don't know what you're
talking about.

Don't lie. I saw you the other day,
and you're back.

What you want? You've got
the wrong man, love.

We're just doing a bit of shopping.
That's all. Shopping?

What for? Cheese. Whiskey.

Whiskey and cheese.

I don't know what this is. It don't
involve me or him, all right?

I see you again,
I'm calling the police.

Are we doing "good cop, bad cop"?

Or two good cops
unless she won't see sense.

I dunno, whatever you think.
Good cop, bad cop.

I'll be good cop. You be bad cop.

Hey, happy doing bad cop?

I'll be whatever cop you want.
Bad cop.

You know how to do it, don't you?

Mean, mooder. Don't say owt,
just growl.

Growl?
Yeah, growl. You know...

Yeah.
Fucking not doing that.

I'll be bad cop then.
If you wanna be a bad cop, you be bad cop.

Fine. Stay as we are.
Christ!

It's a nice gaff.
She did well out of this divorce.

He said he just gave it to her.

The kids still live here.
He didn't want to dispute it.

What game is he in? I don't know,
man. Summat to do with fish. Fish?

Fishes.
Fucking fortune.

Hello, boys, what can I do for you?

Yeah, uh...

We're resources for Mr Bishop.

He sent us to have a little chat
with you.

Go on.

Yeah.

Let's get right to the point. Who's
this new slut he's seeing? Donna?

Sorry, we don't know
anything about any Donna.

Blonde, I'm hearing. Used to manage
one of his shops.

We're not here to discuss
his new relationship - 29.

What does she want
with his shrivelled old cock?

Twenty-fucking-nine.
He'll be loving that.

Can never keep his eyes
off soft, young flesh.

Suppose he's wandering
around like a lovesick puppy.

Er...
I won't, erm...

I wouldn't exactly say that.

What I would say is,
he's a very unhappy man,

which is why we're here to talk
to you about why he's so unhappy.

Ain't that right? Sorry. Crack on
with that. Just one sec.

Dylan! What you want?
We've got a problem. Get here.

What kind of a problem?
I'm fucking busy, dude.

Terrence McCann shaped.
All right, I'm on my way.

Back in a half-hour. You'll be all
right on your own. What?

Horseshit, yeah.
You got the keys? Car.

There's a good lad.

All right. I'm all right.

You sure they were following you?
Do I look thick?

No, no. But it could be
a coincidence, couldn't it?

What? A coincidence?
In the street and at the shops?

Who have you pissed off?
No-one.

If they're following me when I'm with Tyler,
that freaks me out, all right?

Whoever they are,
I need to know he's not in danger.

He's not. We promise. Don't we?
You promise?

So you know who they are.
No, no. We don't.

We don't know, but we'll work out
who they are and fix it.

If you see him again,
call me straight away, all right?

You better not be lying to me.
We're not lying. Absolutely not.

On Big Sandy's funeral. On it.

Don't. What I don't know,
I don't worry about.

All of this cos
of some fucking pony.

We've got to put a stop to it.
How?

I don't know. You can offer to buy
a new one.

It's his daughter's pride and joy.

Then you gotta find out who Jim
sold it to and offer top coin.

He's not gonna remember, is he?

I don't know, mate.
Maybe Erin's right,

I need to get out of here.
Maybe this Terrence McCann thing is a sign,

telling us to move on.

All right.
We'll sort of move on, you know.

"Start your new life."

Be all right with that.
Yeah? Yeah.

What about when you're
at the edge of a bridge again?

What then, Vinnie?
Who's told you that?

Fucking Ralph Roberts? Hey!

That's where I go to think when it all
gets a bit much. I wasn't gonna...

Don't just assume,
because I'm bipolar,

every time it gets a bit much, I wanna
throw myself off a fucking bridge, man.

Even if I did it, it wouldn't be your
concern any more. You're leaving.

I... Doesn't matter.

At least we don't have to rob
Glen Glenson's safe.

At least that's one problem
off my hands.

What's he want?

Tommo, what's going on, man?

What the fuck have you done?
Yeah.

I like that. That implication
it must be me.

I'm in a crap situation so it must
be something idiotic I've done.

Cheers very much, man.
Well, is it?

Yes. On this occasion, it happens to
be something idiotic that I've done.

But I resent your - Tommo, you've
not hurt her, have you?

No. Fuck off. A woman? Never.

I shagged her. You shagged her?
I didn't want to, did I?

She come around with her tits
forward, stroking me up.

What was I supposed to do?
Not shag her!

I defy any man, yourself included, sunshine,
to resist under those sort of circumstances.

She might have had a bit
of work done, but...

she's in cracking shape. I bet
she does yoga or summat.

Zumba. She'll get herself
into all these positions.

Really?
Yes, she knows what she was doing.

Fuck off. If you hadn't bailed, none of this
would've happened. So it's my fault you shagged her?

Moron.

What if he tells her?
What if he finds out?

Did you at least wander off
before you shagged her?

Not exactly.
How do you mean, "not exactly?"

Well, not at all.

Brilliant.
That's just fucking brilliant.

The three grand won't happen now,
will it?

Afterwards, she was like, "He's the
jealous type. Anger issues."

She promised to keep her mouth shut
if I did her again next Saturday.

I'm gonna be shagging her
for the rest of my life, aren't I?

Sewers. What? Yeah.

Sunday. It has to be Sunday evening.

It's the only time he's never there.
All right, Sunday it is.

Listen. If anyone hears anything,
it's just building work, all right?

It's like the Hatton Garden job,
innit? They all got caught.

Did they?

Try that way.
That's the manhole cover tool.

You owe me for this thing.
It's all going in the file.

The deed is done.

You keep an eye on it
while we're down there.

Mm-hm.

Do you know what you're doing?
Yes. Tell me.

Keeping watch,
making sure no-one comes.

That's right. And?
And... And...

First alert if cops show up.
Good lad.

Don't think we're not taking you
there cos you won't be useful.

This is an important part
of the mission.

Up here's the eyes and ears.
If you run into any problems,

I want you to get me on the walkie-talkie,
guaranteed up to 500 metres.

Testing, testing.

Testing, testing.

Received. Over.

Good lad.

Let's get this done.

It's deep, innit?
Of course.

You expected it like
the swimming baths. Get in.

Ash, you go first. Why me? Why not?

You go. You fucking go.
You fucking go.

You said -
I'll go. Fucking bunch of pussies.

Oh, my God.

Eyes and ears. What?
Nothing.

Get in.

Christ. It smells like crow's nest,
don't it?

Which way do we go?

What's it saying, eh?

Dickhead.

All right, fellow.

Can I get a whole meal chicken wrap?

Extra salad, skinny fries and, uh...

Diet Coke. Times three.

All right, Vinnie.
You understand what I've done?

Come on, mate.

Such fine maidens. Ah.

'This is Dylan. I can't come
to the phone. Leave a message.'

Oh, fuck. 'It's Vinnie. Leave a message
at the beep unless it's Dylan.'

Hello. Jake, write this down.
B-X-0-A-J-W-L.

Erin, what's going on? One tall white guy,
one small black guy, both in their 30s.

Are you OK? Yeah, I'm fine.
I'll explain later.

Shit. Oh, shit. No!

Where are you? Hello? Hello, driver?

Hello?

Over, Uncle. Come in, over.

Truck! Who's is this truck?

Nice.

All right, get up.
Put your shoes on.

But it's bedtime.
Not any more.

I want you to read me a story.
Yes, I will later. Put these on.

Oh, shit. Shit!

Shit. Cometh the hour,

cometh the man.

I'll be back in a moment.

Kath. KATH: Give us a minute.
It's urgent.

Why are you here? There's a
thingy...

A truck over the thingy.

Calm down. What are you saying?
There's a truck.

I need to find the driver, ask if
he's in it. It's parked over the...

The hole the lads are down!
They can't get out.

How did a bloody truck park there,
Cardi? Where were you?

Idiot! What if it's there all night?
How will they get out?

Cardi! Cardi!
Ladies and gents...

I have no time. I'm busy.
Get over here.

I've gotta go!
You meeting Tommo?

What? Why?

Yes! Yes, Tommo!
Some bird has posted this online.

So big, Tommo!
My husband wasn't this big.

Shit! I hope the husband's an
understanding sort.

Cardi! No truck drivers.
Get out there and find him!

Keep going.

Oh, fuck me! Fucking hell!

OK, lower me down.

You're never going to believe this.

We've only gone and done it.
It's the right room!

Please be calm. Please be calm.

You all right? Yeah. Look at me.
You OK? You sure?

All right. Where's Dylan? No idea.

Where's Vinnie? Have you seen him?
No.

Not seen anyone. Don't know
anything, I swear.

Where are they?
I don't know. Ow! Ow!

Cardi! Where are they?

Kick him in the leg. Go on.
Ow! God!

Tell me.
I don't know. I don't know!

Do it again. Go on.
Sewers! Sewers!

They're drilling their way into
the Rat And Cutter to blow the safe.

To blow the safe? They're doing it
for you. For Big Sandy.

When you see them,
tell them to ring me.

Why are they doing it for you?
I was stupid enough to ask.

All right, we're ready.

Everybody, stand well back.

I am Vortex.

Wizard of purity.

Cover your ears.

And you are running a house of sin
and sorrow!

Five, four...

..two, one.

It's Thai money.
Just fuck it. Get it in the bag.

Get off me!

I'm Vortex!

You. Is this yours?
Yeah.

Where the fuck have you been?!

Do you know the mess
you've caused, you prick?

You've been drinking, mate.
I've got people down that hole.

Move your bastard truck.

Are you gonna fit down there,
you fat git?

You fat git. You fat git. You fat
git. Size of you, you fat wanker!

You can't even say it,
you stuttering prick.

You what?

You fucking say that again, eh?

Arsehole!

Oh!

Arsehole, is it?

Enjoy yourself down there cos you
ain't coming back this way.

Wow, man.

That's fine. I can't believe
we got the whole thing.

I've got to say, man,
I am impressed.

I know. I've got a semi.

Whoa, whoa, whoa!

All right, lads, how are you doing?
You all right?

What the fuck are you doing
down here?

There's been a tiny hiccup.

I'm sorry!

Killing him is not gonna get us out
of this.

All right. Fuck.
What are we gonna do?

We can't go in there, can we,
you fucking idiot?

Can't go back there. If they heard us
blowing the safe, they'll be looking.

Oh, my God, we're gonna die.
Shush.

Shut up. Right, look. The way
I see it, we've only got one option.

What's that, then?
We walk.

Sewage flows to the
nearest waste plants.

All of these let the sewers run into a main
pipe. It can't be far to the nearest water.

It could be miles,
and we've no food.

Ugh.
Have you got a better idea?

No.
Has anyone got a better idea?

Eh? All right, then. Let's go.

Fuck this. Hey, hey. There's shit
everywhere. Just calm down.

Dickhead! Shit, dude.

By the way...

..there's a couple of other things
you should know,

about Erin and Mr Bishop's wife.

No sign of anyone.
You didn't have to come round.

No, just, uh, wanted to make sure
you're safe.

Where's Dylan?

He's out with his mates somewhere.

His phone was off, so...

Did you make this up?

What?
To get me over.

The old damsel-in-distress routine.
Yeah.

Yeah, cos I heard ringing someone
and frantically telling them

to write down a car reg is like
a proper turn on.

It is.

You think they'd ever hurt you?
I don't know.

Having a kid...

it makes you more vulnerable.
You know?

But me, I'm used to this shit.

I've had it my whole life.

My brother was always bringing
trouble to the door.

But him...

I try and protect him from it.

You know, when I'm saying
this stuff to you,

it makes me realise more than ever that
this isn't how normal people live.

It's ridiculous.

I'll stay
till your boyfriend gets home

in case they come back.

What are you gonna do, you middle
class ponce?

I'm trained in fencing,
I'll have you know.

Why do you always listen to me, dick?
Why, dick?

Because we have a good time.

Yeah, we do.
Let's face it.

We'll be dead in 50 years.
You might as well enjoy yourself.

Yeah, you're not wrong. We're gonna
be dead quicker than that. We're

Stop!
Shut up you, you gobshite!

Right, which way do we go?
Left. Right.

For fuck's sake. Right. Why is that?

That sign, B- 7.
Yeah?

Pipes are numbered upwards.
This is the only way out. All right, cool.

Gosh, it's getting worse.
Yeah.

Stinks down here.

What's that?
What the fuck is that?

It's one of them fatbergs, dude.
A fatberg? It stinks.

Breakfast for you, though.

How are we gonna get past it?

Hey, mate. Hang on.
Maybe we should double back.

Go where? You told us
this is the only way out.

We're wandering in the dark,
not knowing where we're going. We'll die!

Shut up. There's no way around.
We'll have to go through it.

Go on, then. Stand back.
We don't know what's behind it.

Go on, Ash.
Oh, this is not good.

Be careful.
It's probably poisonous. Shut up.

No!

Bollocks. All right. The money
is soaked. The phone's fucked.

How are we gonna get home?

See you, lads.

Thanks.

Oh!
What? It's for Big Sandy.

Yeah, I know, but did it have to be
this? You asked for Vinnie's help.

This is what you get.
Oh, it stinks.

No. No. Don't. I mean it.

Jake, this is Dylan.
Dylan, this is Jake.

Erin's college mate.
Yeah.

The mystery men turned up again.
So I called Jake, and he came over.

Yeah, I called you first.

And Vinnie. Thanks a lot, Jake.
That's good of you.

Yeah. It's not my place, but you
probably need to sort this.

They shouldn't be scaring
women and kids.

We don't know who they are.
No. We don't.

But thanks for the advice.

Well, I should take a shower.

Yeah, I should go.
Stinks. It smells.

OK, well, thanks.
Thanks for coming over.

No worries.

I'll see you in college.

You're an Internet sensation, Tommo.

Well, I hope she caught my best side.
That wasn't what I asked, was it?

I know. I know. I know.
Sit down. No. I know Mr Bishop,

the thing is, yeah,
please don't shoot me.

I just got off the phone
from my solicitor.

She stitched herself right up.

I can apply for shared custody,
reduced maintenance payments,

the works. You played a blinder,
Tommo,

whether you meant to or not.

Yeah, well, I meant to, didn't I?

I could hug you, mate.

Only you really stink of shit.

Fucking hell.

It's gone.

Everyone called Sandy "Big Sandy."

Rude, you might think, that she had
to live her life with her size

as part of her name. But I don't
think people meant it that way.

I think, the "Big" referred
to her heart.

She once said to me, "Kath,
I don't have a bucket list,

I have a suck-it list."

"Smoke-it list, drink-it list,
snort-it list."

Thanks for this, Vin.

Hm. I'd say, "Any time,"
but it's been a bloody nightmare.

What did Glen do when he found out?

Lost his mind. Literally, he was
beating on the floor with his fists.

Haven't seen him since.

Turns out he owed serious money
to serious people.

Hm.

Like who?

The Pentachi brothers,

Saul Channing, Cal Vosso,

and some other guy.
Terrance someone.

McCann?
Yeah, do you know him?

We've stolen the money that belongs
to Terrence McCann?

It's not our problem, is it?
It's Glen's.

As long as no-one ever finds out
it was us.

And how is anyone
ever gonna find that out?

Yeah.

We'll be fine.

I'm Joe Blane Junior.
I'm fighting Ashley.

We do our talking the way we've
always done. With these.

He's a fucking tough lad. I'm a
Dennings. We don't lose fights.

Think of the money we've got
riding on it.

You are gonna get killed. It's absolutely
ridiculous. Pull out. I can't pull out.

We could be like, you know,
therapy for each other.

I've gotta have a bare-knuckle fight
with a brutal traveller on Tuesday,

so can we do it after that?