BrainDead (2016): Season 1, Episode 4 - Episode #1.4 - full transcript
♪ Previously on BrainDead... ♪
♪ Gareth and Laurel ♪
♪ Sittin' in a tree... ♪
♪ Oh, right,
that meteor that came here ♪
♪ From beyond the stars ♪
♪ D.C. is filled with bugs ♪
♪ That eat your brains
and dig The Cars ♪
♪ They crawl in
through your ear holes ♪
♪ Control your thoughts
unless your head explodes ♪
♪ Infected people keep infecting
people who are not ♪
♪ Gustav is maybe
not a doctor... ♪
No, but I read a lot.
♪ A bug was in the CAT scan ♪
♪ Their sense of calm
and confidence erodes ♪
♪ Ella's infected, too ♪
♪ Apparently,
the bugs want her to ♪
♪ Embroil Luke
in a battle for control ♪
♪ Abby's views got so extreme ♪
♪ Since she joined
the space bug team ♪
♪ So Laurel knows
these bugs are on a roll ♪
♪ A tender moment there ♪
♪ When Laurel thinks
that Gareth's dead ♪
♪ Gustav plays The Cars tapes,
red Solo Cups around his head ♪
♪ I've never seen two grown men
share a candy bar like that ♪
♪ Have you no sense
of decency? ♪
♪ My God, you monsters,
not the cat. ♪
(keys jingling)
Hey, my neighbor.
Finally. (chuckles)
Yeah, I just moved in.
Uh, Noah.
Uh, Jules.
Well, if you need anything,
just...
Bang on the wall?
And... I'll bang back.
(chuckles)
♪ ♪
(gasps)
What we need is
another American revolution,
but against the people
who are thwarting the dreams
of the American people,
who are doing everything
they can to put America last.
MONARCH: And so the Republicans
have basically put a bullet
in the head of the U.S. economy.
By refusing to negotiate,
refusing to even talk, they...
MISTY: Who else
but the Democrats have given
health care
to the unproductive takers
in our society at the expense
of the hardworking,
average American middle class
and job creators in our econ...
MONARCH:
...losses so far.
They shaved point-six percent
off economic growth
this quarter alone,
and the yield
on short-term treasury bonds
has risen,
causing global investors
to be extremely unhappy.
(dog barking in distance)
MAN (over radio):
On today's program,
health care and lollipops.
We all remember that moment...
MAN 2 (over other radio):
Liberals hate America!
They side with our enemies!
They're more concerned
with banning soda pop...
MAN:
The fall from the monkey bars...
Could you please turn that down?
(both radio programs continue)
(turns up volume)
MAN 2:
Feminista! Barack Obama!
He's their guy!
(engine revving loudly)
(tires screech)
(man 2 continues shouting)
MAN: And should that
even be a question?
We're going to hear from Lucy...
MAN 2:
...are people not seeing this?!
(loud crash)
(clattering)
Rocky. LAUREL: Well,
that's not bad.
You look like a Rocky.
Nope.
Rocky from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
(laughing)
Yeah.
Till I was 17,
I had a high-pitched voice.
(high-pitched):
Hey, Bullwinkle!
(both laugh)
All right, what was your nickname?
Mine?
Yeah.
Oh, no,
I wasn't popular enough
to have a nickname.
See, that can't be true.
Come on.
No, I'm serious.
People thought I was a good
girl, so they called me...
"good girl."
Yeah, it wasn't
a very creative school;
even the bullying was prosaic.
(laughs)
So, um...
I need to ask you
a work question.
Can you put your FBI hat on?
Sure.
Hold on.
Okay, go.
My brother says
that a terrorist group
is responsible for these, um...
head eruptions.
Uh, CHIs.
CHIs.
Right. Is that true?
The Islamic Rayid Front
claims responsibility,
but they take responsibility
for everything.
Actually, we think it's medical.
We've just been given
2-64 powers.
What's that?
U.S. Code 2-64.
We can help the CDC investigate
by taking people into custody
for observation.
Have you heard of the screwworm?
No. What's that?
It's this bug from
Central America.
It burrows into the skull
and...
Makes heads explode?
I know. Look it up on Wikipedia.
It's kind of terrifying. And...
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Just somebody
I know from work.
Who, the Healy girl?
GARETH:
Yeah. You know her?
MISTY:
No. I know the Healys.
Are you slumming with a
Democratic icon, Gareth?
(chuckles) (chuckles):
Oh, that's so cute.
It's that newscaster, isn't it?
Misty... something?
Yeah. She's awful.
Who's that guy she's with?
He looks familiar.
I don't know.
Probably some lobbyist.
The Healys are always jumping
into bed with somebody.
So who's that? Old boyfriend?
No. Just this Republican
I'm working with.
(snaps fingers)
I know him.
Great!
You want to go sit at his table?
(chuckles)
So, Misty...
have you heard about
this new group, the One Wayers?
Grassroots.
Shrink the government.
No new taxes.
We've received 83 calls
in the last week.
This isn't some ploy?
Get us to report
on something you guys
are just astroturfing?
Would I do that to you?
(chuckles)
Look, all 83 calls
said the same thing:
stay the course
on the government shutdown.
Who leads it?
We don't know.
I thought I'd get
a reporter to look into it.
You let me know
if you see one around.
(laughs)
What do you want?
Martini?
Yeah.
Surprise me.
So, this was subtle.
Bringing your date to the same
bar we were at the other night.
I'm sorry,
were you talking to me?
Look, that guy you're with,
he's an FBI agent,
and you need to
watch out for him.
(laughs quietly)
What?
I'm just saying,
he's not a good guy.
You don't have
to listen to me.
An Old Fashioned
and a light beer, please.
Old Fashioned
and a martini.
People at the FBI used to
call him a "ten center."
You know why? Just standing
here waiting for my drinks.
It's like that old joke.
There's this elderly couple,
and they find
themselves destitute.
And the wife says,
"Don't vorry, I vill go
out and sell my body."
Are they Eastern European?
So, she's gone all day,
and when she comes back,
she says, "Ve are saved.
I have made 250 dollars
and ten cents."
And the husband says, "Ten
cents? Who gave you ten cents?"
She says, "Everybody."
So my date is like
an Eastern European woman
who sleeps around?
No.
Your date is
like a mercenary
who sells himself to
the lowest bidder.
(sets drink down)
Okay, I'm going now.
What was that all about?
Nothing. He says
he knows you.
ANTHONY:
Really?
Oh, dear Lord.
This night is like a circus.
(exhales)
One second. Just...
Gustav, I'm having a drink.
I've got some bugs.
Okay,
can we talk about it
another time?
And how did you even know
I was here?
I was looking for bugs in my
apartment, and then I saw Zeke,
and he was... Who's Zeke?
No, don't answer that.
(meows)
Okay, Gustav. Tomorrow.
Your date's leaving anyway--
work needs him.
What? Laurel, hey, uh,
I just got a text.
I got to go.
Works needs me.
I'm Anthony.
I know.
Okay, uh...
I'll call you later.
All right? Okay.
(phone chimes)
Okay.
Okay, thanks. Laurel had fun.
Okay.
Uh... I'll call you.
Did you text him?
No. How would I know
how to do that?
I just saw he was
getting a text.
That's all.
Gustav...
Look, this is more important.
We have to get Zeke to your
doctor friend for a CAT scan.
ROCHELLE:
Yep, cat CAT scan.
I'm so glad
I went to med school.
The pyriform's intact.
Everything's healthy.
See? Try the posterior
lateral sulcus.
Try farther up.
ROCHELLE: Hmm. There we go.
Your cat moved.
He didn't move.
What? What is it? There
is no lateral sulcus.
That's not possible.
Try the
suprasplenial gyrus.
It's the screwworms.
They can't do that.
Clearly they did.
How else can you explain...
It's missing, too?
Cat moved, or the CT...
I don't know.
The bugs ate
half its brain.
That's why people
are changing.
They only have
half their brains.
Can you even live
with half a brain?
(Zeke meows)
LAUREL: You don't see them, do you?
ROCHELLE: No.
The eardrum's
punctured though.
GUSTAV:
That's how they get in.
The bugs push in
through the eardrum.
Is that true?
I don't know.
All I'm saying is this cat
has a punctured eardrum.
That means
they're deaf in one ear.
That's how we know
who's infected.
We don't know
anything yet.
Uh, perilymph
fluid is missing.
What does that mean?
Inner ear.
A loss of fluid means...
Balance.
Absence of
perilymph fluid means
that they're off balance.
That's how we know
who's infected.
If they're deaf in one ear
or off balance,
they're probably missing
half their brain.
Ah. Here's Senator
Pollack now.
I asked her to
join us, too.
Mr. Tabak,
Ella Pollack.
I just lost $4 million.
You just lost...?
Eh, uh...
I just lost $4 million more.
Uh, sir, uh,
we're in a complicated
situation.
We're the party of adults.
(scoffs)
It's the Republicans
who shut down the government...
I don't care.
Now, I've personally bundled
half a billion dollars
for your party.
Unless this is solved,
that money goes away.
The Republicans are
asking us to cut
three major agencies...
Yes, and you will
slash one
as a show of good faith.
No, we won't.
Yes, you will.
Now, I'm meeting with
the Republicans in an hour,
and I need a compromise.
You have 40 seconds
to name the agency... You can
take your money and shove it.
Ella, let's-let's all just...
No.
I'm sick of playing dead
for big money.
See what you think
about a 20% jump
in capital gains tax,
you jackass.
Who is this woman?
I'm the homeless person
knocking at your tinted window.
I'm your daughter
when she sleeps with
the poli-sci professor.
40 seconds, Luke.
National Endowment
for the Arts.
Good.
We'll wrap this up tomorrow.
(choir singing
in foreign language)
(choir continues)
LAUREL (over video):
This music is disappearing,
just as the island itself
is disappearing.
All I need are matching funds.
What are you doing?
I'm cold.
LAUREL: I need $200,000
to further this effort.
Please give generously.
I'm coming.
(video stops)
I'm hearing about these
One Wayers, Senator.
What are they?
Well, Misty,
just in the last week,
we've received literally
hundreds of e-mails and calls
from this group--
people who feel like
they're losing their country,
who feel America
is going to hell,
and, well, they're out
to make it great again.
These brave citizens
want to
lift America out of its downward
spiral towards weakness...
WOMAN (over TV):
As if the presidential campaign
weren't hot enough,
the nation...
Hello. I'm Laurel.
I'm an aide to the senator
specializing
in constituent casework.
You are... Noah Feffer?
Yes. Hello.
That's a nasty cut
you've got there.
I was in a car crash.
I'm sorry. Are you all right?
Yes.
Would you like to sit?
No.
Would you like any water?
No.
Okay.
How may I help you?
I'm angry.
Regarding?
Everything.
The thing is,
the more specific you get...
Income inequality,
childhood diseases, big oil,
your brother cutting the
National Endowment of the Arts.
Why is he doing that? Well, I
think it's more about reopening
the government...
Oh, no, no.
(door closes)
It is about giving in
to the fascists.
Now, he needs to take the
fight to the Republicans.
When they kill a hostage,
he needs to kill a hostage.
When they hold a knife
to his throat,
he needs to hold a knife
to theirs.
Look at Finland and Denmark--
why can't we be more like them?
Okay. I will tell Senator Healy.
Thank you.
Why aren't you angry?
Why aren't I?
I'm the constituent
caseworker here...
Our country is in mortal danger.
Why can't you see that?
We need a political revolution!
You-you just sit there,
but the One Wayers,
they count on us
being peaceful and calm.
What... You haven't
heard a word I said.
I have. Every word.
Even if I don't sound angry...
Don't patronize me!
Now, they are armed,
because they have the NRA,
so we need to arm ourselves.
Okay.
Thank you, sir.
I'm needed in another meeting.
Oh, that's all you have
to say? This isn't over.
Actually it is.
Good-bye.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
He said what? He said, "There are
other ways to arm ourselves."
Get the capitol police on it.
I'm fine.
No, he threatened you, Laurel.
Did you call
the capitol police?
Yes. But they're
a little busy.
Then talk to the FBI, and if
they don't get right over here,
get me on the phone with them.
Luke, stop worrying, okay?
And do you really
want me at this thing?
I want you to talk
to his chief of staff,
see where we're headed.
We need to get the
government back to work.
Uh, Mr. Tabak,
good morning.
(groans softly)
RED:
Ha-ha!
Here we all are!
Shall we settle this today?
I think we shall.
RED:
...already discussed this!
ELLA:
No, we haven't discussed it!
(arguing continues behind door)
(sighs): Well...
this is going well.
Hey, look,
your girlfriend's on TV.
She's not my...
She looks pouty today.
You upset her, Gar?
So how long have you known
your FBI friend?
What happened to her
usual bedroom eyes?
She looks like
she's gonna cry.
Yeah. It's probably
because the Democrats
are bankrupting
our nation.
(laughs quietly)
RED: Look, you already agreed
to cut one department.
Just cut the other two!
See? This is what
we're up against.
And we shouldn't even
be cutting that one!
This isn't just me talking.
No, actually, it is
just you talking.
All right, look,
take this pencil.
Try to break it.
(whimpers mockingly)
Take a whole stack
of pencils. (grunts)
That's how strong we are!
That's how strong I am!
This is the type
of insanity I have to deal with
with the Democrats.
Listen, we have hundreds
of e-mails telling us
to hold the line.
I want... I want to show you.
(door opens)
Gareth.
Do you have the e-mails from
the One Wayers? Yes, sir.
(door closes)
What?
What?
You have an expression
on your face. What is it?
Nothing.
Did you notice your boss leans
toward the right when he walks?
What?
He leans toward the right.
Oh, is this, like,
a Democratic taunt that I don't understand?
Does he have trouble
hearing in one ear?
Is he... is he deaf in one ear?
Hey, turn that up.
You're very
stream-of-consciousness.
...in an abundance of caution,
the CDC is recalling
three experimental
blood pressure medications:
Polemitras, Traviscine
and Quinnox.
What are we...?
Shh.
Any combination
of blood pressure medications
can have an adverse
and unanticipated effect
on the body.
If you aren't sure you are
on these medications...
Polemitras, Traviscine
and Quinnox.
Is he right?
No, they're just
covering their ass.
You don't know that.
Your first instinct
is always to suspect...
Did your father use them?
Those medications?
I don't know.
Did he have
high blood pressure?
No.
See? They don't know what
they're talking about. Okay.
Look, I have a friend
from medical school
who works with the CDC.
I'll call him and
set up a lunch.
And say what?
Screwworms.
No. I'll find out what
they're thinking,
what their evidence is.
And we'll show them ours.
(computer chimes)
"We" won't do anything.
I will. And Laurel.
I think you
should come, too.
Wait, why Laurel
and not me?
ROCHELLE: Because, Gustav, you
have a tendency to get excited.
GUSTAV: People's heads
are exploding.
When are you supposed
to get excited?
ROCHELLE: No one will help us if
we don't make a good impression.
GUSTAV: So what are you
saying? I'm not presentable?
Is that it? ROCHELLE:
I didn't say that.
But, you know, you
do have a tendency
to come on strong
and weird people out.
GUSTAV: We're living
in weird times.
My behavior is
entirely appropriate.
I'm angry.
We're losing our country.
They're taking it away bit by bit.
I know.
And that's why Senator Wheatus
needs your help.
He's one of you.
We're just sick of words;
we need action.
It's like the Red Coats
all over again. Yes.
And that's why Red Wheatus
wants you to form
the One Wayers.
It's a grassroots campaign
created and run by good citizens
like yourselves.
So, if we can meet tomorrow
to discuss...
Would you excuse me?
Okay, look,
I didn't have anything to do
with the negotiations.
They fell apart
on their own.
What's wrong?
Nothing. Just...
Thank you.
Okay.
For what?
$750.10.
That could be from anybody.
Yeah, yeah, well...
thank anybody.
Okay, that's it. I just wanted
to say thank you, so...
Laurel.
You got a second?
GARETH: This shutdown is
getting out of control.
Compromise is
getting even harder.
I agree.
There's someone else
who agrees:
Majority Leader Amarant.
He just was in
a screaming fight...
with my boss.
The Republican leader wants to
compromise with the Democrats.
He's worried that Wall Street's
gonna pull their PAC money,
but he doesn't have enough votes
without your moderates.
I know.
You're wondering
whether you should trust me.
Uh-huh.
(sighs)
Well, I'll leave that to you.
I'm leaving first.
LUKE:
Wait, who told you this?
Is this from
your chief of staff friend?
LAUREL: Use this information
if you want or don't,
but apparently, Amarant got
into a screaming fight
with Red Wheatus.
Why would he undercut
his own boss
by telling you this?
Are you sleeping with him?
Okay, good night, Luke.
(birds fluttering nearby)
Hello?
Gareth?
(footsteps running)
Hey, why aren't
you helping me?
Oh, come on.
You want something,
you come to my work.
You don't
follow me here.
Do you listen to NPR?
All Things Considered?
You really want to let go
of All Things Considered?
We will if we
lose the NEA.
Sir, this is a work matter.
This is not some...
You know what this is?
It's from The Splendid Table,
their pledge drive.
That's what we'll lose:
Big Bird, Ken Burns,
The Splendid Table...
What is that?
It's a rape button.
Sends a GPS signal
to the police.
What are you, insane?
This isn't a rape.
I'm a member of
Men Against Rape.
You're carrying a knife!
It's from
The Splendid Table!
Don't you want to know
whether Reverend Chambers
solves the murder?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Grantchester on
Masterpiece Theater!
Don't you want to know?!
If we lose the NEA,
we won't!
Go.
Go, now!
We are angry and we
will not be denied.
I don't care!
Go! Seriously, go!
(chuckles): Oh, you
know what you are?
I know who I am, and I don't
give a damn what you think I am.
You're an obstructionist!
Masterpiece Theater!
This Old House!
NOVA!
Antiques Roadshow!
Charlie Rose!
Tavis Smiley!
Don't look so nervous,
Senator.
Oh, I feel like
I'm in a spy novel.
If my caucus knew I
was meeting with you,
they would tar
and feather me.
Same here.
So, I heard you had
a screaming match with Red.
Times are changing.
Extremists used to
make more sense.
Now they don't care if we
throw away the presidency,
they don't care if we
lose our PAC money.
It's insane.
So you want to end this,
I want to end this.
How do we do it?
Well, I have
31 moderates,
but they won't
vote with you.
Uh, there's this group,
the One Wayers--
they're making
our life hell.
If one of us even nods
when a Democrat speaks,
we'll lose our seat.
Well, how about
we kick it down the road?
Sequestration?
Yes.
Agree to across-the-board
budget cuts.
Ten percent military,
ten percent transportation...
Ten percent health?
Right.
Now, they only go
into effect in six months
if we don't reach
a budget agreement.
Yeah, I think I can
hold my 31 with that.
But that still doesn't
help us with Red.
When he gets on the floor,
nobody can hold their ground.
Yeah, I have
the same problem with Ella.
I'll find some way
to sideline them.
All right, let's
see what we can do.
What are you looking for?
Uh, a constituent who was here
yesterday-- Noah something.
He had a cut on his head.
What happened to
yesterday's names?
I cleared them out.
Why would you do that?
New policy.
Destroying yesterday's names.
You have some guests here.
That's not the...
I wasn't going to say
anything weird.
Something's odd, huh?
Yes. Dex, you're with the CDC.
You have to stop saying
these explosions are from
prescription medication.
We're not saying that.
We're saying that
we're looking into it.
I took all the pills
14 hours ago-- nothing.
What?
I wanted to make sure
they wouldn't
make my head explode.
LAUREL: Gustav, you
can't just perform
experiments on yourself.
Why aren't these dots
just artifacts
from a malfunctioning
CT scan?
GUSTAV: Because of
the mandible there.
See?
Why isn't that
just a dust mite?
Because it's not.
Look, I'm on your side.
I think we're covering
our ass at the CDC.
But I have to have more than
this. You think it's what?
Cochliomyia hominivorax.
I did my thesis
on screwworm eradication.
You really think they're back?
I think there are bugs
eating through human eardrums,
embedding themselves in brains,
and either changing
people's personalities
or making their
heads explode.
That's just one theory,
of course.
I'm sorry.
I love this stuff.
Me, too.
What is your name again?
Gustav.
Dexter Wu.
It's really
a disgusting bug.
I know. But it usually
only infects livestock.
Well, global warming
has changed that equation,
don't you think?
Okay, this is what
I suggest, Gustav.
I'll take these CAT
scans to my boss,
and he'll dismiss
them right off hand.
But he'll need to see
a human who is infected.
A human?
Yes.
Do you know of any?
Surprise!
In other campaign news,
civility is once again
off the table.
Nice apartment.
Thanks.
You know, all lives matter.
Not just black lives.
Okay.
Um, Abby...
this is gonna sound strange,
but just keep an open mind.
Rochelle is a doctor.
ROCHELLE: At Mt. Vernon
Memorial Hospital.
And I'm helping her track
a new kind of infection
in the D.C. area--
it's like Lyme disease.
We don't know
how serious.
But we're worried you
may have contracted it.
ROCHELLE:
It comes with loss of balance
and deafness in one ear.
LAUREL: Have you noticed
a change in your hearing?
You're really jealous of
my success, aren't you, Laurel?
No, I'm-I'm just concerned
for your welfare.
Well, thank you
for your concern,
but I'm not sick.
I'm doing well.
Many people
are asymptomatic.
If you don't mind,
I'd like to do a quick,
easy, noninvasive test...
So this is the nanny state now?
Uninvited
house calls?
No.
We're just here
because I'm a friend
and-and I saw these symptoms...
It takes a village.
Huh?
Thanks for dropping by, Laurel.
It's always good to see you.
Well, that wasn't good.
No.
There might be
another way.
ROCHELLE: It's clearly unrelated
to the blood pressure meds.
It's probably a parasite like
spirometra erinaceieuropaei
or naegleria fowleri.
And those are?
Think of them as a deadly
type of Lyme disease
that attacks the brain.
The reason
we called you, Anthony,
is-is you have
that power that, um...
2-64.
Right. And this is someone
who's resisting custody
for observation.
CDC could really benefit
from investigating.
(chuckles)
You know, I, uh...
I looked up screwworms.
Pretty disgusting.
I know, huh?
And, uh,
this woman, uh...
Abby-- she's a friend of mine.
And she's shown signs
of being infected,
but she's resisted help.
So we need you to help
bring her in for a CAT scan.
Is she in pain?
Mm.
No.
Incoherent?
No, but... she's changed.
And she's shown
some of the symptoms.
I'll be right back.
What's going on?
Oh, hey, I didn't want to...
Just thought
I'd leave this with you.
What is it?
It's just information on...
Information on...?
Don't worry about it.
I'll get it to you later.
Hey, uh, Laurel,
I'm gonna head out,
but I'll take
care of this.
Good. Thanks.
Right. Hi.
Hey.
Right. You two
don't know each other.
Um, Anthony,
this is Gareth.
ANTHONY:
Nice to meet you.
You, too.
So, anyway...
Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm heading
over there in an hour.
Good.
Sorry, headed where?
Your friend's place.
Right. Good. Thanks.
Nice to meet
you, Gareth.
You, too, Tony.
Anthony.
Nice guy.
Shut up.
Hey, are you gonna
leave that or what?
Sure.
No rush.
Just... read it when you can.
ANTHONY:
Ms. Summers, hi.
Uh, I'm Agent Onofrio,
FBI Criminal Division.
I'm investigating the
recent outbreak of CHIs.
Uh, I don't know if you've been
following that in the news.
Have I done something wrong?
No, not at all.
Uh, we've been
following an outbreak
of a parasite infestation.
We have reason to
believe you can help us.
We ask that you let
the CDC conduct a quick,
completely painless scan.
It's really for
your own safety.
Are you arresting me?
No.
But we have the power to impel.
We're just worried
that, untreated,
this condition can
result in serious
injury, even death.
It'll only take
15 minutes.
What if I say no?
Then I will have to impel
your cooperation.
You're doing this for Laurel,
aren't you?
No, I'm doing it for the safety
of the populace.
Please, come with me.
I'm gonna get my phone
and my jacket, okay?
I'm gonna record
every step of this.
Please do, ma'am.
We welcome an
engaged citizenry.
(body thuds)
(woman screams)
MAN:
Call for help!
WOMAN:
Help! Someone help!
We bought a domain name,
and we'll be up and running
in a few hours.
Great. And you'll lay out
the One Way philosophy there?
Yes. Tom's writing
the manifesto.
Do you want to see it? No, the
less we coordinate the better.
What else?
JULES: We'll have columns,
blogs, comments
and various instructive links
to bomb manufacturing
or how to alter bullets
for better expansion.
But also there will be a sign-up
sheet for further actions.
I... W-Wait. What?
We'll have a sign-up sheet
for further actions.
No, no, uh, before that,
you said something about links?
Yes. On the Web site,
to bomb-making materials.
It's stuff you can
find online now,
but it's good to resource
it all in one place.
Why do you need links
to bomb-making materials?
For the people who don't know
how to make them.
It's all legal.
Why do we... need bombs?
To defend our country.
From who?
"Whom."
Whom.
JULES:
Democrats.
Socialists.
Tax-and-spenders.
Yeah, but you can't kill them.
What do you mean?
I mean you can't kill them.
How do we stop them, then?
It's another revolution.
Red said so.
Yeah, but he didn't say,
"Pick up a musket and fight."
Right, because
we have Glocks.
You can't do this.
Seriously, guys.
With all due respect,
you said we can't coordinate.
Yeah, I did say that, but...
Are you serious with this crap?
Laurel, you know, it's, uh...
You leave this with me,
and then you run away
like a little baby.
Okay, can we just
step outside?
Here, let's step outside.
Stay here.
Just stay out of my life.
Okay, don't be throwing bombs
into my life.
I just thought
you should know.
Know what?
Half the report was redacted.
I'm not talking about
the redactions.
I'm talking about the photo
of Onofrio... waterboarding.
It wasn't him.
It looked nothing like him.
Just stop.
Okay, if you think
you're helping me, you're not.
Okay, if you want to ignore the facts.
They're not facts.
Well...
Just shh. Stop.
(ringtone playing)
Hello.
Anthony, hi.
(groans)
How'd it go?
What-what problem?
What?
(indistinct
police radio chatter)
♪ ♪
(sniffling)
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
(crying softly)
ANTHONY:
It had nothing to do with us.
But you came here
to take her?
Yeah, but she was depressed.
There were a lot
of changes in her life.
How do you know?
Her friend said.
What friend?
Stacie Zara.
(classical music playing)
(Red and Ella arguing over TV)
Hey, let's get
this moving.
This interview
will last 20 minutes.
You have your 30 votes?
Close by. Your 31?
Close enough.
Here goes. Career suicide.
It's for the country.
Jim, ready?
Hmm? Yes.
All right, let's go.
Senate's in session.
Now, Senator?
There's no one here.
We are.
RED: Yeah, that's right,
play the race card,
'cause that's
what you people do.
ELLA:
"You people"?
"You people."
Do you see how these phrases
flow so naturally
from Senator Wheatus's lips?
RED: Honey, you don't have
to worry about my lips,
'cause they're never getting
near you, I can promise you.
ELLA:
Don't try to cheer me up.
Senate is back in session.
The chair recognizes
the senator from Maryland.
I move for unanimous
consent vote.
Uh, there's only
three people here.
You only need three
for a unanimous consent vote.
You're kidding?
No, check the Senate rules.
LUKE: I move that the
sequestration bill
to reopen the government
be approved
without debate or amendment.
Any objections?
With no objections,
all those in favor
of calling a vote,
please signify by saying, "Aye."
Aye.
Aye.
Nay.
No, "aye."
Aye.
AMARANT:
All those opposed? Thank you.
The unanimous consent bill
passes with no nays.
The sequestration bill
is now ready for a vote.
LUKE:
Chair.
The senator from Maryland
is recognized.
I move that the minimum
15-minute roll call
be applied to the vote.
Do I have a second?
Second.
All those in favor
of the 15-minute time limit.
Aye.
Aye.
JIM: Aye.
LUKE: Call the question.
AMARANT: Second.
RED (over TV): I did not
seek them out; they came to me.
And these folks
are patriotic Americans
from all over the country
who came to Washington
to let their voices be heard.
ELLA:
Same with the No Wayers.
They've heard
what the One Wayers have said,
and believe me,
the No Wayers don't exist
in a vacuum.
SERGEANT AT ARMS:
Bill 112-28 will be...
MAN (over P.A.): All senators
are needed on the floor to vote.
All senators are needed
on the floor to vote.
...Senator Wheatus's One Wayers.
RED: They're not
my One Wayers.
Where is she
getting this?
MISTY: Is there something
you'd like to add, Senator?
Uh, yes, um,
unfortunately,
there is a vote
that I'm needed at.
Uh...
Well, why don't we break away
for a second,
and we'll be right back.
(whistles)
SERGEANT AT ARMS:
Senator Calastana.
Senator Landers.
Senator Charles Lane.
Senator...
RED:
No!
What? I have to get
on the subway.
ELLA:
Oh, come on!
(groans)
SERGEANT AT ARMS:
Senator Wicker.
With 53 yeas and 23 nays,
bill 112-28... passes.
(applause, excited chatter)
(door opens)
Red, how good to see you.
How was your 15 minutes
of fame?
You're dead.
Hey, come at me.
I'm ready.
No, seriously.
You're dead.
ROCHELLE:
I'm really sorry.
Do you think this is
the infection?
That made her do it?
I don't know.
That's no infection I know of.
She didn't want
a CAT scan,
so she jumped
out of a window.
And the police report says
that she dove headfirst,
so there wouldn't be
enough evidence.
She was depressed, Laurel.
No, Stacie said
she was depressed,
but what if Stacie
is infected, too?
Well, that suggests
some coordination
between infected people.
That makes no sense.
(sighs)
Am I getting paranoid?
I don't know.
When someone close to you dies,
you look for reasons.
Oh, hey, congratulations.
On what?
I heard your brother
opened the government again.
(knock at door)
Oh.
I'm so self-involved,
I didn't even know.
(laughs)
That's great.
Yeah.
Anthony.
Hi.
Hi. Uh, sorry.
I didn't know you had a guest.
Actually, um, I'm heading out.
Don't. I just wanted to see
how you were doing.
I got to head home anyway.
Good night, Laurel.
We'll be good.
We will.
Thanks.
Uh, here.
I got you cookies.
I don't know why.
Cookies are good.
I just... I feel
bad about today.
I know.
You want one?
No.
Sure.
What about you?
No.
A drink maybe.
So I saw the Senate
torture report today.
Somebody gave it to me.
Yeah?
Think you're in it.
I am.
So you were in Iraq?
Yeah.
And you did those
things to people?
What things?
Enhanced interrogation.
Waterboarding.
Is that what you think?
I don't know
what I think.
I just want to know
what's true.
What's true is
I was a whistleblower.
I'm only in the report
'cause I named names.
Nothing more?
Nothing more.
There's this rumor
that I was a mercenary,
that I tortured,
but it's not true.
I'm sorry.
For?
For thinking
the opposite.
Sorry.
I, um... I've been wanting
to do that for a week now.
Don't apologize.
Have you noticed we
both apologize a lot?
I know.
Yeah.
Let's stop.
Go to hell.
Eat crap.
(chuckles)
In a wild night of
secret voting, the so-called
(lowers volume):
Moderate Rebellion
passed a sequestration bill
that kept the government open,
at least temporarily.
Well, I don't mean to brag,
but this was statesmanship
at its best.
I'm very proud of my colleagues
on both sides
of the aisle who voted
for sequestration.
Now our job will be
to work toward...
(phone vibrating)
Yeah, I'm pretty bitchin'.
You are, I won't deny it.
Mm, it was so sweet.
Red didn't know what hit him.
The memory's gonna
have to last for a while
because we're heading
into an ugly time.
Why?
What, you didn't see
Red and Ella?
No, what?
(Luke chuckles)
It's best to avert your eyes.
Uh, their sound bites...
(sighs)
I'll see you tomorrow.
Congratulations, Luke.
RED:
Look, I don't condone violence,
but I can understand why people
would be passionate about this.
This was basically
a senatorial coup d'état.
JULES: I'm angry.
(crowd chanting)
Since when can the government
just do what it wants?
This is why voters have
to get involved.
We need a revolution
to show politicians
how angry we are.
We are angry.
(video stops)
(truck beeping outside)
(truck brakes squeal softly)
Sorry about sleeping
on the couch.
I think I just nodded off
and never came back.
Mm-hmm.
You sleep well?
You good?
What?
I said sorry
about sleeping on the couch.
I think I nodded off...
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
♪ Gareth and Laurel ♪
♪ Sittin' in a tree... ♪
♪ Oh, right,
that meteor that came here ♪
♪ From beyond the stars ♪
♪ D.C. is filled with bugs ♪
♪ That eat your brains
and dig The Cars ♪
♪ They crawl in
through your ear holes ♪
♪ Control your thoughts
unless your head explodes ♪
♪ Infected people keep infecting
people who are not ♪
♪ Gustav is maybe
not a doctor... ♪
No, but I read a lot.
♪ A bug was in the CAT scan ♪
♪ Their sense of calm
and confidence erodes ♪
♪ Ella's infected, too ♪
♪ Apparently,
the bugs want her to ♪
♪ Embroil Luke
in a battle for control ♪
♪ Abby's views got so extreme ♪
♪ Since she joined
the space bug team ♪
♪ So Laurel knows
these bugs are on a roll ♪
♪ A tender moment there ♪
♪ When Laurel thinks
that Gareth's dead ♪
♪ Gustav plays The Cars tapes,
red Solo Cups around his head ♪
♪ I've never seen two grown men
share a candy bar like that ♪
♪ Have you no sense
of decency? ♪
♪ My God, you monsters,
not the cat. ♪
(keys jingling)
Hey, my neighbor.
Finally. (chuckles)
Yeah, I just moved in.
Uh, Noah.
Uh, Jules.
Well, if you need anything,
just...
Bang on the wall?
And... I'll bang back.
(chuckles)
♪ ♪
(gasps)
What we need is
another American revolution,
but against the people
who are thwarting the dreams
of the American people,
who are doing everything
they can to put America last.
MONARCH: And so the Republicans
have basically put a bullet
in the head of the U.S. economy.
By refusing to negotiate,
refusing to even talk, they...
MISTY: Who else
but the Democrats have given
health care
to the unproductive takers
in our society at the expense
of the hardworking,
average American middle class
and job creators in our econ...
MONARCH:
...losses so far.
They shaved point-six percent
off economic growth
this quarter alone,
and the yield
on short-term treasury bonds
has risen,
causing global investors
to be extremely unhappy.
(dog barking in distance)
MAN (over radio):
On today's program,
health care and lollipops.
We all remember that moment...
MAN 2 (over other radio):
Liberals hate America!
They side with our enemies!
They're more concerned
with banning soda pop...
MAN:
The fall from the monkey bars...
Could you please turn that down?
(both radio programs continue)
(turns up volume)
MAN 2:
Feminista! Barack Obama!
He's their guy!
(engine revving loudly)
(tires screech)
(man 2 continues shouting)
MAN: And should that
even be a question?
We're going to hear from Lucy...
MAN 2:
...are people not seeing this?!
(loud crash)
(clattering)
Rocky. LAUREL: Well,
that's not bad.
You look like a Rocky.
Nope.
Rocky from Rocky and Bullwinkle.
(laughing)
Yeah.
Till I was 17,
I had a high-pitched voice.
(high-pitched):
Hey, Bullwinkle!
(both laugh)
All right, what was your nickname?
Mine?
Yeah.
Oh, no,
I wasn't popular enough
to have a nickname.
See, that can't be true.
Come on.
No, I'm serious.
People thought I was a good
girl, so they called me...
"good girl."
Yeah, it wasn't
a very creative school;
even the bullying was prosaic.
(laughs)
So, um...
I need to ask you
a work question.
Can you put your FBI hat on?
Sure.
Hold on.
Okay, go.
My brother says
that a terrorist group
is responsible for these, um...
head eruptions.
Uh, CHIs.
CHIs.
Right. Is that true?
The Islamic Rayid Front
claims responsibility,
but they take responsibility
for everything.
Actually, we think it's medical.
We've just been given
2-64 powers.
What's that?
U.S. Code 2-64.
We can help the CDC investigate
by taking people into custody
for observation.
Have you heard of the screwworm?
No. What's that?
It's this bug from
Central America.
It burrows into the skull
and...
Makes heads explode?
I know. Look it up on Wikipedia.
It's kind of terrifying. And...
What's wrong?
Nothing.
Just somebody
I know from work.
Who, the Healy girl?
GARETH:
Yeah. You know her?
MISTY:
No. I know the Healys.
Are you slumming with a
Democratic icon, Gareth?
(chuckles) (chuckles):
Oh, that's so cute.
It's that newscaster, isn't it?
Misty... something?
Yeah. She's awful.
Who's that guy she's with?
He looks familiar.
I don't know.
Probably some lobbyist.
The Healys are always jumping
into bed with somebody.
So who's that? Old boyfriend?
No. Just this Republican
I'm working with.
(snaps fingers)
I know him.
Great!
You want to go sit at his table?
(chuckles)
So, Misty...
have you heard about
this new group, the One Wayers?
Grassroots.
Shrink the government.
No new taxes.
We've received 83 calls
in the last week.
This isn't some ploy?
Get us to report
on something you guys
are just astroturfing?
Would I do that to you?
(chuckles)
Look, all 83 calls
said the same thing:
stay the course
on the government shutdown.
Who leads it?
We don't know.
I thought I'd get
a reporter to look into it.
You let me know
if you see one around.
(laughs)
What do you want?
Martini?
Yeah.
Surprise me.
So, this was subtle.
Bringing your date to the same
bar we were at the other night.
I'm sorry,
were you talking to me?
Look, that guy you're with,
he's an FBI agent,
and you need to
watch out for him.
(laughs quietly)
What?
I'm just saying,
he's not a good guy.
You don't have
to listen to me.
An Old Fashioned
and a light beer, please.
Old Fashioned
and a martini.
People at the FBI used to
call him a "ten center."
You know why? Just standing
here waiting for my drinks.
It's like that old joke.
There's this elderly couple,
and they find
themselves destitute.
And the wife says,
"Don't vorry, I vill go
out and sell my body."
Are they Eastern European?
So, she's gone all day,
and when she comes back,
she says, "Ve are saved.
I have made 250 dollars
and ten cents."
And the husband says, "Ten
cents? Who gave you ten cents?"
She says, "Everybody."
So my date is like
an Eastern European woman
who sleeps around?
No.
Your date is
like a mercenary
who sells himself to
the lowest bidder.
(sets drink down)
Okay, I'm going now.
What was that all about?
Nothing. He says
he knows you.
ANTHONY:
Really?
Oh, dear Lord.
This night is like a circus.
(exhales)
One second. Just...
Gustav, I'm having a drink.
I've got some bugs.
Okay,
can we talk about it
another time?
And how did you even know
I was here?
I was looking for bugs in my
apartment, and then I saw Zeke,
and he was... Who's Zeke?
No, don't answer that.
(meows)
Okay, Gustav. Tomorrow.
Your date's leaving anyway--
work needs him.
What? Laurel, hey, uh,
I just got a text.
I got to go.
Works needs me.
I'm Anthony.
I know.
Okay, uh...
I'll call you later.
All right? Okay.
(phone chimes)
Okay.
Okay, thanks. Laurel had fun.
Okay.
Uh... I'll call you.
Did you text him?
No. How would I know
how to do that?
I just saw he was
getting a text.
That's all.
Gustav...
Look, this is more important.
We have to get Zeke to your
doctor friend for a CAT scan.
ROCHELLE:
Yep, cat CAT scan.
I'm so glad
I went to med school.
The pyriform's intact.
Everything's healthy.
See? Try the posterior
lateral sulcus.
Try farther up.
ROCHELLE: Hmm. There we go.
Your cat moved.
He didn't move.
What? What is it? There
is no lateral sulcus.
That's not possible.
Try the
suprasplenial gyrus.
It's the screwworms.
They can't do that.
Clearly they did.
How else can you explain...
It's missing, too?
Cat moved, or the CT...
I don't know.
The bugs ate
half its brain.
That's why people
are changing.
They only have
half their brains.
Can you even live
with half a brain?
(Zeke meows)
LAUREL: You don't see them, do you?
ROCHELLE: No.
The eardrum's
punctured though.
GUSTAV:
That's how they get in.
The bugs push in
through the eardrum.
Is that true?
I don't know.
All I'm saying is this cat
has a punctured eardrum.
That means
they're deaf in one ear.
That's how we know
who's infected.
We don't know
anything yet.
Uh, perilymph
fluid is missing.
What does that mean?
Inner ear.
A loss of fluid means...
Balance.
Absence of
perilymph fluid means
that they're off balance.
That's how we know
who's infected.
If they're deaf in one ear
or off balance,
they're probably missing
half their brain.
Ah. Here's Senator
Pollack now.
I asked her to
join us, too.
Mr. Tabak,
Ella Pollack.
I just lost $4 million.
You just lost...?
Eh, uh...
I just lost $4 million more.
Uh, sir, uh,
we're in a complicated
situation.
We're the party of adults.
(scoffs)
It's the Republicans
who shut down the government...
I don't care.
Now, I've personally bundled
half a billion dollars
for your party.
Unless this is solved,
that money goes away.
The Republicans are
asking us to cut
three major agencies...
Yes, and you will
slash one
as a show of good faith.
No, we won't.
Yes, you will.
Now, I'm meeting with
the Republicans in an hour,
and I need a compromise.
You have 40 seconds
to name the agency... You can
take your money and shove it.
Ella, let's-let's all just...
No.
I'm sick of playing dead
for big money.
See what you think
about a 20% jump
in capital gains tax,
you jackass.
Who is this woman?
I'm the homeless person
knocking at your tinted window.
I'm your daughter
when she sleeps with
the poli-sci professor.
40 seconds, Luke.
National Endowment
for the Arts.
Good.
We'll wrap this up tomorrow.
(choir singing
in foreign language)
(choir continues)
LAUREL (over video):
This music is disappearing,
just as the island itself
is disappearing.
All I need are matching funds.
What are you doing?
I'm cold.
LAUREL: I need $200,000
to further this effort.
Please give generously.
I'm coming.
(video stops)
I'm hearing about these
One Wayers, Senator.
What are they?
Well, Misty,
just in the last week,
we've received literally
hundreds of e-mails and calls
from this group--
people who feel like
they're losing their country,
who feel America
is going to hell,
and, well, they're out
to make it great again.
These brave citizens
want to
lift America out of its downward
spiral towards weakness...
WOMAN (over TV):
As if the presidential campaign
weren't hot enough,
the nation...
Hello. I'm Laurel.
I'm an aide to the senator
specializing
in constituent casework.
You are... Noah Feffer?
Yes. Hello.
That's a nasty cut
you've got there.
I was in a car crash.
I'm sorry. Are you all right?
Yes.
Would you like to sit?
No.
Would you like any water?
No.
Okay.
How may I help you?
I'm angry.
Regarding?
Everything.
The thing is,
the more specific you get...
Income inequality,
childhood diseases, big oil,
your brother cutting the
National Endowment of the Arts.
Why is he doing that? Well, I
think it's more about reopening
the government...
Oh, no, no.
(door closes)
It is about giving in
to the fascists.
Now, he needs to take the
fight to the Republicans.
When they kill a hostage,
he needs to kill a hostage.
When they hold a knife
to his throat,
he needs to hold a knife
to theirs.
Look at Finland and Denmark--
why can't we be more like them?
Okay. I will tell Senator Healy.
Thank you.
Why aren't you angry?
Why aren't I?
I'm the constituent
caseworker here...
Our country is in mortal danger.
Why can't you see that?
We need a political revolution!
You-you just sit there,
but the One Wayers,
they count on us
being peaceful and calm.
What... You haven't
heard a word I said.
I have. Every word.
Even if I don't sound angry...
Don't patronize me!
Now, they are armed,
because they have the NRA,
so we need to arm ourselves.
Okay.
Thank you, sir.
I'm needed in another meeting.
Oh, that's all you have
to say? This isn't over.
Actually it is.
Good-bye.
♪ ♪
♪ ♪
He said what? He said, "There are
other ways to arm ourselves."
Get the capitol police on it.
I'm fine.
No, he threatened you, Laurel.
Did you call
the capitol police?
Yes. But they're
a little busy.
Then talk to the FBI, and if
they don't get right over here,
get me on the phone with them.
Luke, stop worrying, okay?
And do you really
want me at this thing?
I want you to talk
to his chief of staff,
see where we're headed.
We need to get the
government back to work.
Uh, Mr. Tabak,
good morning.
(groans softly)
RED:
Ha-ha!
Here we all are!
Shall we settle this today?
I think we shall.
RED:
...already discussed this!
ELLA:
No, we haven't discussed it!
(arguing continues behind door)
(sighs): Well...
this is going well.
Hey, look,
your girlfriend's on TV.
She's not my...
She looks pouty today.
You upset her, Gar?
So how long have you known
your FBI friend?
What happened to her
usual bedroom eyes?
She looks like
she's gonna cry.
Yeah. It's probably
because the Democrats
are bankrupting
our nation.
(laughs quietly)
RED: Look, you already agreed
to cut one department.
Just cut the other two!
See? This is what
we're up against.
And we shouldn't even
be cutting that one!
This isn't just me talking.
No, actually, it is
just you talking.
All right, look,
take this pencil.
Try to break it.
(whimpers mockingly)
Take a whole stack
of pencils. (grunts)
That's how strong we are!
That's how strong I am!
This is the type
of insanity I have to deal with
with the Democrats.
Listen, we have hundreds
of e-mails telling us
to hold the line.
I want... I want to show you.
(door opens)
Gareth.
Do you have the e-mails from
the One Wayers? Yes, sir.
(door closes)
What?
What?
You have an expression
on your face. What is it?
Nothing.
Did you notice your boss leans
toward the right when he walks?
What?
He leans toward the right.
Oh, is this, like,
a Democratic taunt that I don't understand?
Does he have trouble
hearing in one ear?
Is he... is he deaf in one ear?
Hey, turn that up.
You're very
stream-of-consciousness.
...in an abundance of caution,
the CDC is recalling
three experimental
blood pressure medications:
Polemitras, Traviscine
and Quinnox.
What are we...?
Shh.
Any combination
of blood pressure medications
can have an adverse
and unanticipated effect
on the body.
If you aren't sure you are
on these medications...
Polemitras, Traviscine
and Quinnox.
Is he right?
No, they're just
covering their ass.
You don't know that.
Your first instinct
is always to suspect...
Did your father use them?
Those medications?
I don't know.
Did he have
high blood pressure?
No.
See? They don't know what
they're talking about. Okay.
Look, I have a friend
from medical school
who works with the CDC.
I'll call him and
set up a lunch.
And say what?
Screwworms.
No. I'll find out what
they're thinking,
what their evidence is.
And we'll show them ours.
(computer chimes)
"We" won't do anything.
I will. And Laurel.
I think you
should come, too.
Wait, why Laurel
and not me?
ROCHELLE: Because, Gustav, you
have a tendency to get excited.
GUSTAV: People's heads
are exploding.
When are you supposed
to get excited?
ROCHELLE: No one will help us if
we don't make a good impression.
GUSTAV: So what are you
saying? I'm not presentable?
Is that it? ROCHELLE:
I didn't say that.
But, you know, you
do have a tendency
to come on strong
and weird people out.
GUSTAV: We're living
in weird times.
My behavior is
entirely appropriate.
I'm angry.
We're losing our country.
They're taking it away bit by bit.
I know.
And that's why Senator Wheatus
needs your help.
He's one of you.
We're just sick of words;
we need action.
It's like the Red Coats
all over again. Yes.
And that's why Red Wheatus
wants you to form
the One Wayers.
It's a grassroots campaign
created and run by good citizens
like yourselves.
So, if we can meet tomorrow
to discuss...
Would you excuse me?
Okay, look,
I didn't have anything to do
with the negotiations.
They fell apart
on their own.
What's wrong?
Nothing. Just...
Thank you.
Okay.
For what?
$750.10.
That could be from anybody.
Yeah, yeah, well...
thank anybody.
Okay, that's it. I just wanted
to say thank you, so...
Laurel.
You got a second?
GARETH: This shutdown is
getting out of control.
Compromise is
getting even harder.
I agree.
There's someone else
who agrees:
Majority Leader Amarant.
He just was in
a screaming fight...
with my boss.
The Republican leader wants to
compromise with the Democrats.
He's worried that Wall Street's
gonna pull their PAC money,
but he doesn't have enough votes
without your moderates.
I know.
You're wondering
whether you should trust me.
Uh-huh.
(sighs)
Well, I'll leave that to you.
I'm leaving first.
LUKE:
Wait, who told you this?
Is this from
your chief of staff friend?
LAUREL: Use this information
if you want or don't,
but apparently, Amarant got
into a screaming fight
with Red Wheatus.
Why would he undercut
his own boss
by telling you this?
Are you sleeping with him?
Okay, good night, Luke.
(birds fluttering nearby)
Hello?
Gareth?
(footsteps running)
Hey, why aren't
you helping me?
Oh, come on.
You want something,
you come to my work.
You don't
follow me here.
Do you listen to NPR?
All Things Considered?
You really want to let go
of All Things Considered?
We will if we
lose the NEA.
Sir, this is a work matter.
This is not some...
You know what this is?
It's from The Splendid Table,
their pledge drive.
That's what we'll lose:
Big Bird, Ken Burns,
The Splendid Table...
What is that?
It's a rape button.
Sends a GPS signal
to the police.
What are you, insane?
This isn't a rape.
I'm a member of
Men Against Rape.
You're carrying a knife!
It's from
The Splendid Table!
Don't you want to know
whether Reverend Chambers
solves the murder?
I don't know what
you're talking about.
Grantchester on
Masterpiece Theater!
Don't you want to know?!
If we lose the NEA,
we won't!
Go.
Go, now!
We are angry and we
will not be denied.
I don't care!
Go! Seriously, go!
(chuckles): Oh, you
know what you are?
I know who I am, and I don't
give a damn what you think I am.
You're an obstructionist!
Masterpiece Theater!
This Old House!
NOVA!
Antiques Roadshow!
Charlie Rose!
Tavis Smiley!
Don't look so nervous,
Senator.
Oh, I feel like
I'm in a spy novel.
If my caucus knew I
was meeting with you,
they would tar
and feather me.
Same here.
So, I heard you had
a screaming match with Red.
Times are changing.
Extremists used to
make more sense.
Now they don't care if we
throw away the presidency,
they don't care if we
lose our PAC money.
It's insane.
So you want to end this,
I want to end this.
How do we do it?
Well, I have
31 moderates,
but they won't
vote with you.
Uh, there's this group,
the One Wayers--
they're making
our life hell.
If one of us even nods
when a Democrat speaks,
we'll lose our seat.
Well, how about
we kick it down the road?
Sequestration?
Yes.
Agree to across-the-board
budget cuts.
Ten percent military,
ten percent transportation...
Ten percent health?
Right.
Now, they only go
into effect in six months
if we don't reach
a budget agreement.
Yeah, I think I can
hold my 31 with that.
But that still doesn't
help us with Red.
When he gets on the floor,
nobody can hold their ground.
Yeah, I have
the same problem with Ella.
I'll find some way
to sideline them.
All right, let's
see what we can do.
What are you looking for?
Uh, a constituent who was here
yesterday-- Noah something.
He had a cut on his head.
What happened to
yesterday's names?
I cleared them out.
Why would you do that?
New policy.
Destroying yesterday's names.
You have some guests here.
That's not the...
I wasn't going to say
anything weird.
Something's odd, huh?
Yes. Dex, you're with the CDC.
You have to stop saying
these explosions are from
prescription medication.
We're not saying that.
We're saying that
we're looking into it.
I took all the pills
14 hours ago-- nothing.
What?
I wanted to make sure
they wouldn't
make my head explode.
LAUREL: Gustav, you
can't just perform
experiments on yourself.
Why aren't these dots
just artifacts
from a malfunctioning
CT scan?
GUSTAV: Because of
the mandible there.
See?
Why isn't that
just a dust mite?
Because it's not.
Look, I'm on your side.
I think we're covering
our ass at the CDC.
But I have to have more than
this. You think it's what?
Cochliomyia hominivorax.
I did my thesis
on screwworm eradication.
You really think they're back?
I think there are bugs
eating through human eardrums,
embedding themselves in brains,
and either changing
people's personalities
or making their
heads explode.
That's just one theory,
of course.
I'm sorry.
I love this stuff.
Me, too.
What is your name again?
Gustav.
Dexter Wu.
It's really
a disgusting bug.
I know. But it usually
only infects livestock.
Well, global warming
has changed that equation,
don't you think?
Okay, this is what
I suggest, Gustav.
I'll take these CAT
scans to my boss,
and he'll dismiss
them right off hand.
But he'll need to see
a human who is infected.
A human?
Yes.
Do you know of any?
Surprise!
In other campaign news,
civility is once again
off the table.
Nice apartment.
Thanks.
You know, all lives matter.
Not just black lives.
Okay.
Um, Abby...
this is gonna sound strange,
but just keep an open mind.
Rochelle is a doctor.
ROCHELLE: At Mt. Vernon
Memorial Hospital.
And I'm helping her track
a new kind of infection
in the D.C. area--
it's like Lyme disease.
We don't know
how serious.
But we're worried you
may have contracted it.
ROCHELLE:
It comes with loss of balance
and deafness in one ear.
LAUREL: Have you noticed
a change in your hearing?
You're really jealous of
my success, aren't you, Laurel?
No, I'm-I'm just concerned
for your welfare.
Well, thank you
for your concern,
but I'm not sick.
I'm doing well.
Many people
are asymptomatic.
If you don't mind,
I'd like to do a quick,
easy, noninvasive test...
So this is the nanny state now?
Uninvited
house calls?
No.
We're just here
because I'm a friend
and-and I saw these symptoms...
It takes a village.
Huh?
Thanks for dropping by, Laurel.
It's always good to see you.
Well, that wasn't good.
No.
There might be
another way.
ROCHELLE: It's clearly unrelated
to the blood pressure meds.
It's probably a parasite like
spirometra erinaceieuropaei
or naegleria fowleri.
And those are?
Think of them as a deadly
type of Lyme disease
that attacks the brain.
The reason
we called you, Anthony,
is-is you have
that power that, um...
2-64.
Right. And this is someone
who's resisting custody
for observation.
CDC could really benefit
from investigating.
(chuckles)
You know, I, uh...
I looked up screwworms.
Pretty disgusting.
I know, huh?
And, uh,
this woman, uh...
Abby-- she's a friend of mine.
And she's shown signs
of being infected,
but she's resisted help.
So we need you to help
bring her in for a CAT scan.
Is she in pain?
Mm.
No.
Incoherent?
No, but... she's changed.
And she's shown
some of the symptoms.
I'll be right back.
What's going on?
Oh, hey, I didn't want to...
Just thought
I'd leave this with you.
What is it?
It's just information on...
Information on...?
Don't worry about it.
I'll get it to you later.
Hey, uh, Laurel,
I'm gonna head out,
but I'll take
care of this.
Good. Thanks.
Right. Hi.
Hey.
Right. You two
don't know each other.
Um, Anthony,
this is Gareth.
ANTHONY:
Nice to meet you.
You, too.
So, anyway...
Yeah, I'm, uh, I'm heading
over there in an hour.
Good.
Sorry, headed where?
Your friend's place.
Right. Good. Thanks.
Nice to meet
you, Gareth.
You, too, Tony.
Anthony.
Nice guy.
Shut up.
Hey, are you gonna
leave that or what?
Sure.
No rush.
Just... read it when you can.
ANTHONY:
Ms. Summers, hi.
Uh, I'm Agent Onofrio,
FBI Criminal Division.
I'm investigating the
recent outbreak of CHIs.
Uh, I don't know if you've been
following that in the news.
Have I done something wrong?
No, not at all.
Uh, we've been
following an outbreak
of a parasite infestation.
We have reason to
believe you can help us.
We ask that you let
the CDC conduct a quick,
completely painless scan.
It's really for
your own safety.
Are you arresting me?
No.
But we have the power to impel.
We're just worried
that, untreated,
this condition can
result in serious
injury, even death.
It'll only take
15 minutes.
What if I say no?
Then I will have to impel
your cooperation.
You're doing this for Laurel,
aren't you?
No, I'm doing it for the safety
of the populace.
Please, come with me.
I'm gonna get my phone
and my jacket, okay?
I'm gonna record
every step of this.
Please do, ma'am.
We welcome an
engaged citizenry.
(body thuds)
(woman screams)
MAN:
Call for help!
WOMAN:
Help! Someone help!
We bought a domain name,
and we'll be up and running
in a few hours.
Great. And you'll lay out
the One Way philosophy there?
Yes. Tom's writing
the manifesto.
Do you want to see it? No, the
less we coordinate the better.
What else?
JULES: We'll have columns,
blogs, comments
and various instructive links
to bomb manufacturing
or how to alter bullets
for better expansion.
But also there will be a sign-up
sheet for further actions.
I... W-Wait. What?
We'll have a sign-up sheet
for further actions.
No, no, uh, before that,
you said something about links?
Yes. On the Web site,
to bomb-making materials.
It's stuff you can
find online now,
but it's good to resource
it all in one place.
Why do you need links
to bomb-making materials?
For the people who don't know
how to make them.
It's all legal.
Why do we... need bombs?
To defend our country.
From who?
"Whom."
Whom.
JULES:
Democrats.
Socialists.
Tax-and-spenders.
Yeah, but you can't kill them.
What do you mean?
I mean you can't kill them.
How do we stop them, then?
It's another revolution.
Red said so.
Yeah, but he didn't say,
"Pick up a musket and fight."
Right, because
we have Glocks.
You can't do this.
Seriously, guys.
With all due respect,
you said we can't coordinate.
Yeah, I did say that, but...
Are you serious with this crap?
Laurel, you know, it's, uh...
You leave this with me,
and then you run away
like a little baby.
Okay, can we just
step outside?
Here, let's step outside.
Stay here.
Just stay out of my life.
Okay, don't be throwing bombs
into my life.
I just thought
you should know.
Know what?
Half the report was redacted.
I'm not talking about
the redactions.
I'm talking about the photo
of Onofrio... waterboarding.
It wasn't him.
It looked nothing like him.
Just stop.
Okay, if you think
you're helping me, you're not.
Okay, if you want to ignore the facts.
They're not facts.
Well...
Just shh. Stop.
(ringtone playing)
Hello.
Anthony, hi.
(groans)
How'd it go?
What-what problem?
What?
(indistinct
police radio chatter)
♪ ♪
(sniffling)
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
(crying softly)
ANTHONY:
It had nothing to do with us.
But you came here
to take her?
Yeah, but she was depressed.
There were a lot
of changes in her life.
How do you know?
Her friend said.
What friend?
Stacie Zara.
(classical music playing)
(Red and Ella arguing over TV)
Hey, let's get
this moving.
This interview
will last 20 minutes.
You have your 30 votes?
Close by. Your 31?
Close enough.
Here goes. Career suicide.
It's for the country.
Jim, ready?
Hmm? Yes.
All right, let's go.
Senate's in session.
Now, Senator?
There's no one here.
We are.
RED: Yeah, that's right,
play the race card,
'cause that's
what you people do.
ELLA:
"You people"?
"You people."
Do you see how these phrases
flow so naturally
from Senator Wheatus's lips?
RED: Honey, you don't have
to worry about my lips,
'cause they're never getting
near you, I can promise you.
ELLA:
Don't try to cheer me up.
Senate is back in session.
The chair recognizes
the senator from Maryland.
I move for unanimous
consent vote.
Uh, there's only
three people here.
You only need three
for a unanimous consent vote.
You're kidding?
No, check the Senate rules.
LUKE: I move that the
sequestration bill
to reopen the government
be approved
without debate or amendment.
Any objections?
With no objections,
all those in favor
of calling a vote,
please signify by saying, "Aye."
Aye.
Aye.
Nay.
No, "aye."
Aye.
AMARANT:
All those opposed? Thank you.
The unanimous consent bill
passes with no nays.
The sequestration bill
is now ready for a vote.
LUKE:
Chair.
The senator from Maryland
is recognized.
I move that the minimum
15-minute roll call
be applied to the vote.
Do I have a second?
Second.
All those in favor
of the 15-minute time limit.
Aye.
Aye.
JIM: Aye.
LUKE: Call the question.
AMARANT: Second.
RED (over TV): I did not
seek them out; they came to me.
And these folks
are patriotic Americans
from all over the country
who came to Washington
to let their voices be heard.
ELLA:
Same with the No Wayers.
They've heard
what the One Wayers have said,
and believe me,
the No Wayers don't exist
in a vacuum.
SERGEANT AT ARMS:
Bill 112-28 will be...
MAN (over P.A.): All senators
are needed on the floor to vote.
All senators are needed
on the floor to vote.
...Senator Wheatus's One Wayers.
RED: They're not
my One Wayers.
Where is she
getting this?
MISTY: Is there something
you'd like to add, Senator?
Uh, yes, um,
unfortunately,
there is a vote
that I'm needed at.
Uh...
Well, why don't we break away
for a second,
and we'll be right back.
(whistles)
SERGEANT AT ARMS:
Senator Calastana.
Senator Landers.
Senator Charles Lane.
Senator...
RED:
No!
What? I have to get
on the subway.
ELLA:
Oh, come on!
(groans)
SERGEANT AT ARMS:
Senator Wicker.
With 53 yeas and 23 nays,
bill 112-28... passes.
(applause, excited chatter)
(door opens)
Red, how good to see you.
How was your 15 minutes
of fame?
You're dead.
Hey, come at me.
I'm ready.
No, seriously.
You're dead.
ROCHELLE:
I'm really sorry.
Do you think this is
the infection?
That made her do it?
I don't know.
That's no infection I know of.
She didn't want
a CAT scan,
so she jumped
out of a window.
And the police report says
that she dove headfirst,
so there wouldn't be
enough evidence.
She was depressed, Laurel.
No, Stacie said
she was depressed,
but what if Stacie
is infected, too?
Well, that suggests
some coordination
between infected people.
That makes no sense.
(sighs)
Am I getting paranoid?
I don't know.
When someone close to you dies,
you look for reasons.
Oh, hey, congratulations.
On what?
I heard your brother
opened the government again.
(knock at door)
Oh.
I'm so self-involved,
I didn't even know.
(laughs)
That's great.
Yeah.
Anthony.
Hi.
Hi. Uh, sorry.
I didn't know you had a guest.
Actually, um, I'm heading out.
Don't. I just wanted to see
how you were doing.
I got to head home anyway.
Good night, Laurel.
We'll be good.
We will.
Thanks.
Uh, here.
I got you cookies.
I don't know why.
Cookies are good.
I just... I feel
bad about today.
I know.
You want one?
No.
Sure.
What about you?
No.
A drink maybe.
So I saw the Senate
torture report today.
Somebody gave it to me.
Yeah?
Think you're in it.
I am.
So you were in Iraq?
Yeah.
And you did those
things to people?
What things?
Enhanced interrogation.
Waterboarding.
Is that what you think?
I don't know
what I think.
I just want to know
what's true.
What's true is
I was a whistleblower.
I'm only in the report
'cause I named names.
Nothing more?
Nothing more.
There's this rumor
that I was a mercenary,
that I tortured,
but it's not true.
I'm sorry.
For?
For thinking
the opposite.
Sorry.
I, um... I've been wanting
to do that for a week now.
Don't apologize.
Have you noticed we
both apologize a lot?
I know.
Yeah.
Let's stop.
Go to hell.
Eat crap.
(chuckles)
In a wild night of
secret voting, the so-called
(lowers volume):
Moderate Rebellion
passed a sequestration bill
that kept the government open,
at least temporarily.
Well, I don't mean to brag,
but this was statesmanship
at its best.
I'm very proud of my colleagues
on both sides
of the aisle who voted
for sequestration.
Now our job will be
to work toward...
(phone vibrating)
Yeah, I'm pretty bitchin'.
You are, I won't deny it.
Mm, it was so sweet.
Red didn't know what hit him.
The memory's gonna
have to last for a while
because we're heading
into an ugly time.
Why?
What, you didn't see
Red and Ella?
No, what?
(Luke chuckles)
It's best to avert your eyes.
Uh, their sound bites...
(sighs)
I'll see you tomorrow.
Congratulations, Luke.
RED:
Look, I don't condone violence,
but I can understand why people
would be passionate about this.
This was basically
a senatorial coup d'état.
JULES: I'm angry.
(crowd chanting)
Since when can the government
just do what it wants?
This is why voters have
to get involved.
We need a revolution
to show politicians
how angry we are.
We are angry.
(video stops)
(truck beeping outside)
(truck brakes squeal softly)
Sorry about sleeping
on the couch.
I think I just nodded off
and never came back.
Mm-hmm.
You sleep well?
You good?
What?
I said sorry
about sleeping on the couch.
I think I nodded off...
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