BrainDead (2016): Season 1, Episode 3 - Goring Oxes: How You Can Survive the War on Government Through Five Easy Steps - full transcript

♪ Previously on BrainDead... ♪

♪ Remember how there was
a meteor from outer space? ♪

♪ Brain-eating space bugs
roam around ♪

♪ As if they own the place ♪

♪ Red Wheatus
is controlled by them ♪

♪ But Gareth, Luke and Laurel
aren't yet ♪

♪ Does Laurel like him?
Kinda, sort of ♪

♪ Maybe yes, she does ♪

♪ They rocked the Tax Prom ♪

♪ It's the lamest prom
that ever was ♪

♪ They scheme
against each other ♪



♪ And they end up
with some feelings ♪

♪ They regret ♪

♪ Laurel sees two old friends ♪

♪ For a while she pretends ♪

♪ But Abby isn't
who she used to be ♪

♪ Something really isn't right ♪

♪ She went crazy overnight ♪

♪ Now she's having Stacie
back for tea ♪

♪ Ella calls
for Luke's replacement ♪

♪ Scarlett thinks
that sex is gross ♪

♪ Gustav starts investigating ♪

♪ When a second head explodes ♪

♪ That's all the time I have ♪

♪ Because this episode's
too long. ♪



(birds chirping)

(distant traffic sounds)

MONARCH (on TV):
A wild

presidential primary,

government shutdown,
leadership change,

death of
a supreme court justice;

it's been a crazy
last few months.

And now to help
make it all clear,

is one-time Bush speechwriter,
Norah Moody.

Thanks for being with us, Norah.

Norah, you've been
a keen observer

for many years.
(cell phone buzzing)

(phone beeps on)

Ella, I thought
we weren't talking.

ELLA:
I thought so, too,

and yet, I woke up
to a lovely peace offering.

Did you send
something to Ella?

Flowers.

The card reading,
"Let's not fight."

I'm glad you got them.

You know I hate that we're
at each other's throats.

So let's not be.
Makes sense to me.

Look, I have to go on
DoubleSpeak in a minute.

How about we talk
before the caucus?

Uh, unfortunately,
I have a bit of a cold.

I might stay home to recuperate.

Well, tomorrow, then.

Get better and we'll talk.

Bye-bye.

(phone beeps off)

You're a genius.
(chuckles)

I was talking
to a Mexican friend of mine,

Abundio, who sells newspapers
at Union Square.

And he was saying that he likes
the government shutdown.

BROADBENT: Because no one can
see that government

does anything for them.

LUKE: Ask Abundio
about health inspectors.

Ask him about the food he eats.

Well, my guess would be
he'd have a lot to say...

in Spanish.

BROADBENT: Frankly,
that's the kind of response

that I find deeply...

(blowing nose)

Mr. Broadbent, as Senator
Wheatus's chief of staff,

isn't it your boss's
hard line

that's keeping the government
from opening?

(laughing):
Of course not.

If you look back, at the
shutdowns of 1981, 1982,

and even... uh...

What's up with number two?

Yeah, get him a glass of water.

Keep going, Claudia.

Uh, Senator Healy,

you have your own
troubles, don't you?

Isn't Ella Pollack
challenging you

for the whip position?

Uh, no. In fact, I just
got off the phone with Ella.

We have great professional
respect for each other.

Oh, come on, Claudia.

The Democrats are
the ones in disarray.

Look back

at the shutdowns
of 1983...

Yes, the shutdowns of the '80s The
Democrats had a slim majority.

were nothing like the shutdowns today.
All right, and in...

This is an ideological
Look, can I finish?

crusade.
The Democrats had...

This is so sad.
This is hostage taking.

When I was working
at the White House...

BROADBENT:
Would you stop yelling?!

...fresh-cut flowers from
a wonderful Guatemalan woman.

Red Wheatus's
mouthpiece...

And if you subtracted...

(all talking over each other)

And if she
were watching

this today,
she would be saying,

"Dios mio."
Dios mio.

Uh, cut the feed,
uh, eight second delay.

Cut it!

(all talking over each other)

(long beep)

(snoring)

(choir singing
in foreign language)

(choir continues singing,
rhythmic clapping)

(singing continues
over speakers)

It's Palm Sunday,

the procession is yet to come,

but the evening
is getting late,

and I've been invited to stay.

(knocking on door)

Laurel.
(singing stops)

The FBI agent is here.

The... who, Onofrio?
Yes.

Still with his flag pin.

Hi.

You want to give me another
one of your business cards?

Ms. Healy, hello.
Uh, this is Agent Blades.

Can we ask you
a few questions?

Sure.

Uh, would you like to sit down?

No.
Yes, thank you.

I know you told
Agent Onofrio

about what happened
in the ambulance

with Dr. Daudier
last Tuesday,

but could you repeat it for me?

Sure.

Um, I was holding

Dr. Daudier's hand
on the way to the hospital.

And he was
having trouble thinking.

He said there was

something in his ear.

What was in his ear?

He didn't know.
He didn't know

or he didn't say?

Get them out!

He didn't say,

so my guess
is that he didn't know.

Why? What-what happened?

There was another
incident.

After Dr. Daudier said

there was something
in his ear,

you claim...

his head spontaneously...
combusted?

Can't you do anything?

Yes.

What incident?
BLADES: And you saw this happen?

I did.

Anthony, what's going on?

There was another
spontaneous combustion

on a talk show
this morning.

What show?
DoubleSpeak.

My brother was on DoubleSpeak.

I know--
it wasn't him.

It was Red Wheatus's man.

Don't worry.
What?

It happened
in a remote studio.

I mean, your brother
didn't even see it.

N-n-no. Red Wheatus's man?

If we could get back
to Dr. Daudier,

ma'am.

I'm... I'm sorry.

I have to... I have to go.

I'll be... I'll be...

(low, indistinct conversations)

GARETH:
Laurel.

What's wrong?

Nothing, um...

Weren't you on DoubleSpeak?

Uh, last minute change.

Chief of staff did it.

Why?

I just... I... (sighs)

I thought it was you.

Why, what's wrong?

Did your brother
rip the guy a new one?

Hey, wait.

What?

Nothing.

Um, have you been in touch
with your chief of staff?

No.

Why, do you need
to speak with him?

The FBI was in my office,

and they said
that the staffer

who was on Claudia's show
this morning... died.

And I thought it was you.

Well, I'm in shock,
I mean, that's terrible.

Are you sure?

Jonathan's dead--
a stroke.

Mm-hmm.

(cell phone ringing)

(phone beeps on)

Hello.

LUKE:
Where are you?

I'm upstairs, why?
I need you

to get down to the office--
there's some constituents

in the waiting room.

Did you hear what happened
on DoubleSpeak this morning?

Yeah, with Red's man,
it's bizarre.

A stroke.

No.

LAUREL: What?
LUKE: Yeah, that's what I heard.

I got to go, Laurel.

Hey, Ella?

How are you?
I thought you were sick.

I got better.

(whistles)
Let's get started.

Let's go.

Thanks, Ella.

You'll have to teach me
how to do that, sometime.

(members chuckling)

Just a short update.

The Republicans have overreached

with their budget demands

and are now hurting
their presidential chances.

Yes, the Republicans
have overreached,

but we are responsible.

Sure, go ahead.
Our compromise

put a bullet
in the terrorist's gun.

Uh, the Republicans
are not terrorists.

Why are you defending them?

Uh...
It's exactly that attitude

of appeasement that has
encouraged the Republicans.

I'm not appeasing,
I'm saying

this hyperbolic language
hurts us.

(scoffs)
I want to play this smart.

We can't just be the party
of "no."

Why can't we be?

Seriously.
Ella.

Why must we always be
the party of adults?

(scattered applause)
Let me just say this,

I will never, ever
compromise my ideals,

and that is why
you should make me whip.

Can you say the same thing

about Senator Healy?

(applause)

(door opens)

LAUREL:
Hi.

I'm Senator Healy's
constituent case worker.

I will be meeting
with you one at a time

to go over your issues.

Nice saddle.

Okay, let's see.

Uh, Dr. Bobb.

Dr. Bob... Bobb.

GUSTAV:
Yes.

Here.

So y-your first
and last names are "Bob"?

Yes.

Why?

Oh, it's just different.

No, it's the same.

Just like everyone else here,

just the same.

So what can the Senator
do for you, Dr. Bobb?

You're Laurel Healy.

I am.

And your email is
healgirl31@gmail?

It is-- did you need
to send me something?

(choir singing
in foreign language)

(singing stops)
Sorry.

Melanesian Choir?

Yes, you know it?

Not many people listen to it.

I know.
I don't even listen to it,

and I listen to everything.

So how can I help you,
Dr. Bobb?

Oh, um...

The government's too big,
don't you think?

Too big?

Yes, can he make it smaller?

Okay.

Is that it?

Yes, thanks.

(clears throat)

(door opens, closes)

RED:
Hey, everyone.

For those of you
who haven't heard,

Jonathan Broadbent tragically
left us this morning.

So Gareth will be
my new chief of staff.

That's right,
good job.

He's been kicking the
Democrats' butts for weeks now.

(phone ringing)
Thank you, sir.

Yeah, it's me.

When?

You're kidding.

(laughing):
Good news.

Good news. Uh-huh.

Uh, yeah, no, I'm on it,
I'm on it with my staff.

(laughing)

Ella is challenging Luke
for whip.

God, how the Democrats love
the circular firing squad, huh?

So, who do we want?

Which one, Luke or Ella?

Luke, the compromiser.

I heard Ella's going
full liberal warrior.

Gareth.
No.

We want Ella.
RED: And why?

Our Republican moderates

stay on the reservation
if their only option

is to go
to a liberal extremist.

RED: Right, Luke is
the danger here.

No Republican flees to Ella,

but they might flee to Luke,

so what should
my statement be?

I'll write it--
we support Ella.

(Red making buzzer sound):
Gareth.

Sir.

(reporters clamoring)

Well, it pains me
to watch the Democrats

turning on each other this way.

I hope they come to their senses
and stand with Luke Healy,

who is someone I know
we can work with.

Damn it.

Senator Pollack, though

a lovely woman,
is the kind of San Francisco

tax-and-spend liberal

who, frankly, terrifies us.

They're coming after me.

They want Ella.

What's this?

SCARLETT:
Cherry blossom season.

I cut a few
to cheer up the office.

Oh. Okay, thanks.

Uh, check the votes.

See if we still have
our three vote cushion.

So, what are you saying?

It's like reverse psychology?

Republicans want something,

Democrats automatically don't.

What do you want me to do?

Get rid of these.

It's like
a funeral home in here.

Where are you going with those?

I'm taking them outside.
Why?

I cut them for Luke.

He doesn't want them.

You never liked me, did you?

I don't think I have an opinion.

You're outnumbered.

I am?

By who?

Whom.

By the people
you are outnumbered by.

Don't turn around.

I said don't turn around.

Dr. Bobb?
No,

not Dr. Bobb.
Gustav.

I need to know if
I can trust you.

You left your e-mail
on my Web site.

That was your video

of a bug?
Do you have a cell phone?

Yes, why?

Put it in here.

No.

For security reasons.

It's not on.

It doesn't matter.

The NSA can use it

to broadcast up to 50 feet.

You're not getting
my cell phone.

(sighs)

(whispering): Bugs are
eating people's brains.

What?
I said,

bugs are eating people's...

How do you know?

Have you heard of the screwworm?

The...
Cochliomyia

hominivorax.

It's a bug
about this size

that feeds on
human flesh.

Uh, hominivorax is Latin
for "eater of man."

This bug,
the screwworm,

that's what was on
your video?

A subspecies, not one
I'm familiar with.

It burrows through the skull,
which forces brain tissue

out through the ear,
which leads to behavioral

and personality anomalies.

What anomalies?

People lose portions
of their memory

and their ability to think.

Memory is the only way
to get through to them.

Can it make people more extreme?

If the screwworm eats
that portion of the brain, yes.

And the explosions?

Why are heads exploding?

(laughs)
Well...

not many people
know about this

but bugs fart.

Oh, dear God.

What? I'm not
making this up.

Look it up.
It can be a buildup

of methane in the brain.

Then why are some
exploding and not others?

I don't know.

I'm just getting started, I...

Why are those two men
sharing a candy bar?

What?

Those two men

over there.

One of them
took a bite

of his candy bar

and gave it
to the other man.

That something that happens
in real life?

Well, it just happened, so...

The FBI compiles long books
of rehearsed activities

so people will blend in.

That looks like
a rehearsed,

observed activity.

Okay, can I have
my cell phone back now?

I know this sounds crazy...

but what do you think
Edward Snowden sounded like?

My cell phone, please.

Look.

Here's my card.

Look up what I said
and call me.

It's all true.

(muffled):
♪ Oh, I think that you're wild ♪

♪ And so uniquely styled ♪

(elevator bell dings)

♪ You might think it's foolish ♪

♪ This chancy rendezvous ♪

♪ You might think I'm crazy ♪

♪ All I want ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ All I want ♪

♪ Is you... ♪

("You Might Think" by The Cars
continues playing)

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

(knocking on door)

Look at this.

A real office

with a door
and everything.

Hi, Dad.

What are you doing here?

Uh, your brother

needs help with Ella.

How's Mom?
Good.

Give her a call when
you have the chance.

So...

you went to the Tax Prom

a few nights ago, I hear.

I did, yeah.
And I hear

you went with
a Republican staffer?

I did that, too, yes.
And drank

and you danced.
Your surveillance

is getting better, Dad.

Not surveillance, dear.

Friends.

I have a lot
of concerned friends.

Well, you can tell
your "concerned friends"

that this was a favor
I was doing for my brother.

You went on a date with Red's
chief of staff as a favor?

He's not his chief of staff and
it wasn't a date... and yes.

He was just promoted.

Do you know
how easily things

get misunderstood in this town?

Talk to Luke about it then, Dad.

It wasn't my idea.

Actually, no,

don't talk to him.

It was my idea.

In fact...

Look, Laurel,
I know you hate

being told anything but the town
has changed; it's toxic now,

and socializing
across the aisle

can be misunderstood.
Hey, it's Laurel.

Just wanted to call
to congratulate you

on your promotion.

Chief of staff, wow.

Oh, come on, Laurel,
there's no one on the phone.

You're just playing.

I'll be right with you, Dad.

Wanted to see if I could
take you out to celebrate.

I...

Sure.

If you don't mind going
to this wake first.

A wake?

Sounds great.

See you then.

Okay.

Why do you take such pleasure in
rebelling against your family?

Because my family
takes such pleasure

in trying to control me.

LUKE:
Son of a bitch!

The Healys do have a sad history
of womanizing.

Oh, my God,
she went there.

It's a different time.

Kennedys would have
been crucified today.

We'll have to go after her hard.

Very hard.

Mm, no, no.

Sorry, sis, I need you.

Does she have any
nanny problems,

parking tickets,
uh, racist remarks?

Uh, just rumors, no proof.
Why do you need proof?

Just say she kills puppies
and call it a day.

Laurel,

why don't you
take a break?

No, wait.

End of the last session,
Ella was crying.

She confided in me.

She had to put her dog down

just before the recess.

Oh, my God, are you serious?

Just before the recess

so she was either going

on vacation or back home to...

BOTH:
...raise money.

Right, I mean,
either way, it's good.

She hurries to put
her dog down so she

can go have
fun... where?

Paris.

No! (laughs) (laughing):
Yes, she was going

to Paris.
(laughing): No.

No.

It's like watching two ghouls.

She kills her dog
so she won't

miss her trip to Paris.

Mm.

You couldn't write that better.

So, we need to leak it.

Where, hmm?

Reliable source? Roll Call?

Do you need

anything, Senator?

Yes, we need to leak a story.

Who do you know at the Post?

Actually, Luke,

do you have a second?

Yeah, just give
me a minute.

No, now, please.

As I was walking back
from lunch,

I saw Scarlett in Ella's office.

Why?

I don't know.

Was she just
there or...?

No, she was conferring
with Ella.

Is there a reason

Scarlett would
turn Judas?

Maybe.

Well, you can't
fire her now.

(no audio)

I can't let her
leak the story.

She'll just tell Ella.

Who do you know
at Roll Call?

(sighs)

Yes?

Here is what I love
about Republicans:

They're like the kids
on The Brady Bunch.

(audience laughter)

Stacie, hey.

Laurel. How are you?
Good.

Thanks for coming
to meet me.

So...

you had a story
for Roll Call?

I did.

Here, got you your usual.

Vodka martini.
Thanks,

but I think I'm going
a little bit lighter tonight.

Seltzer and lime.

(laughs)

In my entire life, you've never
had a seltzer in a bar.

Don't do that.

Don't do what you did with Abby.

What I did...

Stacie, I'm not trying to...

Yes, you are.

You made Abby think it was
her problem but it wasn't.

It's your problem.

I already apologized to Abby and...
What are we gonna do

when the Republicans
take over?

The Republicans

are like Gilligan's Island.

Take over what?
Did you know

Denmark's child poverty rate

is, like, a quarter
of America's?

No.

They have guaranteed

childcare until a child is 50.

That makes no sense, Stacie.

Gilligan!

(laughs)

(laughter, applause on TV)

You know what I was
thinking about yesterday?

College.

Remember college?

Our dorm room.
There are only

three gun deaths every year

in Finland. Three.

Remember we had those boys over?

What was the name of
that-that boy you dated

that first year?

Was it Jim?

The poet.

Jim, Jim, Jim something.

He came over
that first day.

Guy.

Guy...

Guy Sostatia.

Right.

40% of commuter trips

in Copenhagen are by bicycle.
Stacie.

Remember he broke up with you?

And you said it was the
worst night of your life

and you cried
and I hugged you.

You do remember that, don't you?

He broke my heart.

Why are you doing this?

Just want to know you remember.

Why would I want

to do that?

Trump could be president.

Yes, but you still
have to live, Stacie.

You still have...

Stacie. I don't like
getting emotional...

T-there's...
and I don't think it's fair.

no, there's-there's something
coming out of your ear.

That's just... uh...

I got my ear pierced
and it got infected.

No, no, it's coming
from inside your ear.

That's just blood. Ouch.

I need antibiotics.

Did any bugs get near you?

I just got my ear pierced, okay?

I got to go and get it looked at.
Stacie...

I'm your best friend.

We said we'd always
be here for each other.

I'm here.

(phone beeps, line ringing)

Hello, it's Laurel.

I want to talk.

(indistinct chatter)

LAUREL:
Thanks for meeting.

What happened?

I saw a friend,
and something was leaking

from her ear.
Brain matter?

I don't know.

She was crying,
and for a second there,

it seemed like she
was herself again.

Until the brains
were pushed out?

I don't know.

What?

We're being watched.
Don't look.

Two guys texting
by the elevators.

How much of this stuff
do you make up?

I don't know
what you mean.

I have a very sane job.

I have a very sane life.

Makes it hard to believe
what you say is true

when you mix it in with
all this crazy stuff.

You looked up screwworms.

It's what I said,
isn't it?

It's been eradicated
from the United States.

Yes, but global warming
is expanding

microclimates
for bug populations.

Why is everybody listening
to the same song?

What?

People are listening to "You
Might Think" by The Cars-- why?

I have no idea
what you're talking about.

Don't look at me like
I'm the crazy one.

Where are we going?

To see someone who
agrees with you.

Who is he?

LAUREL:
Gustav.

His friend was the person
who died in the CAT scan.

GUSTAV: I did a marijuana
study here a few years ago.

It went badly.

Give him a chance.

Okay.

So, this is

the first CAT scan.

Before...
Dots.

Yes, the tech said that
these kind of image

artifacts can happen
with normal wear and tear.

Can you enlarge the central
left lateral ventricle?

More.

Mm-hmm.

Now, can you push
a touch superior and rostrally

to the ventricle? Have you
worked with a CAT scan before?

Uh, no, but I read a lot.

May I?
Sure.

(clears his throat)

Take that.
Mm-hmm.

(tapping keys)

What is that?

Do you have a cell phone?
In my locker.

Is that locker more
than 50 feet away? Why?

The NSA can turn
on your phone

to broadcast anything
within 50 feet.

Yes.

It is more than 50 feet away.
Are you sure?

Yes, I am sure.

What is that?

A mandible.

Senator?
(whirring loudly)

Senator, sir...

Oh, hey, buddy.
What do you need?

Peace of mind.

(chuckles)
Oh, can't give you that.

Hmm.
What else?

Grassroots are...

We're at 20% approval,

because we haven't made
our case to the grassroots.

We're four years away
from running.

Yeah, we are,
but not the president.

Ah, you think
we're hurting Trump?

Yeah, you need
to get the American

Conservative Union on board,

the Conservative Caucus,
the Family Research Council,

and you're
not gonna like this.

I can't wait.

Reopen the government.

Show we can lead.

Why did you come to D.C.?

To get something done.

And what did you
want to get done?

Low government.

More incentives
for small businesses.

Smart use of taxes.

And have you accomplished
any of those things?

No.

Me, neither,
and you know why?

Because colleagues
keep arguing for patience.

Let's get our ducks

in a row first.

Well, you know what?

The ducks are in a friggin' row!

Even if I have to hold
a machete to their throats,

those ducks are
lining the hell up!

You understand?
Yes, sir.

Then help me line the ducks up.

(indistinct chatter)

Those of us who knew Johnny
knew that he was

good to lobbyists--
am I right?

Yes!
No, no, no.

But a lot of you
chief of staffs....

No, because
she walked out on me.

I didn't have a chance.

Look, I'll get her
back, but I'm sure

there's another
reporter at Roll Call.

Hey, can we get two more?

Okay.

Well, you made it.

I said I would.

May I...?

(chuckles)

Bad day?

I don't even know anymore.

You need a reporter
to leak to at Roll Call?

You see that reporter over there
with the bad cardigan?

That's Howard.

He's a columnist
at Roll Call.

Hey, free advice.

(phone buzzes)

Yes, Senator, good evening.

I've changed my mind.

You were right.

We need the grassroots.

I want you to come in tomorrow

with five strategies
for reaching them.

Uh, definitely, sir.
Thank you.

Nah, thank you, boy.

(line beeps)

Uh, could you bring
two more of those, too?

Wow, that was easy.

Yeah?
Yeah.

To your first leak.

(both chuckle)

So, what happened?

You seem

happier.

Uh, my boss called.

Things are good now.

Which means
I'm in trouble.

Uh, yeah.
Mm-hmm.

We're, uh, both
playing with fire here.

So, do you know why I called?

Me?

No. Why?

My dad said we were observed
at the Tax Prom.

Doing what?
Drinking

and dancing.
Oh, my God.

Do you think

we're being... observed here?

I think it's a distinct possibility.
Yeah?

Yeah.
Well,

better give 'em something to talk about.
♪ She'll be invisible ♪

♪ Like you want her... ♪
Like what?

Hmm.

(inhales sharply)

I don't think
that's gonna do much.

Hmm. Take it
to the next level?

Which is?
Hmm?

(laughing): Um... (laughing)

I'm not drunk enough.
No?

No.
Oh.

Well, like a message
from God.

Mm. ♪ You just like
her where she's at ♪

Oh.

♪ And you'll thank her ♪
Hmm.

♪ For the things she
bought you ♪ Aah.

(sniffles, sighs)
Hmm.

Hey.

♪ Then you'll go
on your way... ♪

(sniffles)

Hey. Take this seriously.

It's hard work.
I know. I'm sorry.

Okay.

♪ And the next day ♪

(laughing) ♪ When you
chase the other girl ♪

♪ She'll remember
all the things you said ♪

♪ To her... ♪

(clears her throat)

Laurel, wait.

What are you doing?
I'm going home.

That wasn't anything back there,
all right? That was joking.

Oh, I know. I-I just need
to get back to work.

Look, if we leave it like this,

if you leave, then it
will mean something,

so, stay, and it
won't mean anything.

I can't figure out the
algebraic psychology of that,

so... good night.

Okay.

(sighs)

I showed it
to the chief resident.

He still thinks it's an
artifact, not a mandible.

Well, they're not gonna
believe it

until we give 'em a real one.

What are you doing?

Nothing.
This line may not be secure.

I'll get in touch
with you later.

(quietly):
Oh, yeah...

("You Might Think"
by The Cars playing)

(tape scraping)

(sighs)

MISTY (on TV):
Civil war among the Democrats

continues to heat up
as Roll Call reports

that Senator Ella Pollack
euthanized her dog

before taking a luxurious trip
to Paris.

(Misty chuckles)

Good job, Laurel. I just leaked it.
I didn't do anything else.

Not since Mitt Romney tied a
carrier to the roof of his car

Mitt Romney. has a
politician been so cavalier.

Luke.

LUKE:
Senator. Sorry.

This is terrible.

(laughing)
Not really.

I knew

you were doing it.
Oh, and, uh,

watch the news.

What does that mean?

Well, I was prepared for this.

Watch the news.

God. People are
getting weird.

LAUREL:
What does she know?

Nothing.

She's bluffing.

(Red laughing boisterously)

What channel? RED: 45.

Got to love
the Democrats.

(laughing):
Yeah.

MISTY (on TV): Breitbart was
the first to break the news.

The affair started
two years ago

when Luke Healy promoted
his legislative director,

Scarlett Pierce, to
chief of staff, (sighs)

a decision that certainly
raised eyebrows at the time.

All this despite the fact that

Senator Healy is still married
to his first wife

and has a child on the way.
(laughing)

The affair with Senator Healy's
chief of staff

(door closes)
apparently started

during the summer recess.

Your thoughts, Norah.

NORAH:
This kind of personal attack,

going after
a politician's private life,

it's a political hit job...
No. No, no, no. No.

Please. Please. I don't
even want to hear it.

Wait. It's-it's not want it seems.
I don't want to hear it.

Well, it's not true...
Get out!

What they're saying is not true!
Get out of here! Get out.

You disgust me.
You disgust me.

MISTY: But should it?
(crying)

I mean, shouldn't one look
You bastard.

at the policies he supports
and not the personal behavior?

NORAH: Let's be honest.
You bastard.

It's a question of character.

If he does this
to the people he loves,

how can he be trusted?

♪ You might think
it's foolish ♪

♪ This chancy rendezvous ♪

♪ You might think ♪

♪ You might think I'm crazy ♪

♪ All I want ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh,
all I want is you ♪

♪ All I want ♪
♪ All I want is you. ♪

(thumping)

(song begins again)

♪ ♪

(door opens)

(door closes)

♪ Oh, well, you might think
I'm crazy... ♪

(meows)

I hate when women cry.

There's a way to fix that.

Don't give me crap,
please, not now.

I just need a moment of peace.

(sighs)

I love Germaine.

She's everything
to me.

Look, I-I make mistakes,

okay?
And I'm here,

working late,

and my head gets clogged

trying to figure out what
concurrent resolution 45-B

has to do with a real person.

And I see someone smiling...

just the whiff
of her shampoo,

the way her hair
comes down over one eye...

(sighs)

How do you describe in prose
something that's poetry?

It's not poetry,

it's sleeping around on your wife.
Oh, God.

When did you become this way?

Not everything's
about morality.

I mean, are you always
immune to this?

No. Well, then, get in
touch with that person.

All right? The human being

who understands
why something happens,

not just that it shouldn't.

(sighs)

So what now?

What's happening
in the Senate?

Oh. (scoffs)
That's over.

The female senators
are lined up against me.

That's why Ella played
the womanizing card.

I needed their six votes.

What if I talked to them?

The female senators,

what if I talked to them
about you?

I couldn't ask you to do that.

Okay, then don't ask me.

Ms. Healy, hello. How are you?

I'm good.
Please come in.

We're all ready
to hear from you.

So, first, you talk to
the American Conservative Union,

then Eagle Forum.

These are the top
grassroots organizations

needed in order to... You know
how people build a coalition?

Foster communication? Share ideas?
No, no, no.

They compromise.

I don't understand.
That's how they build

a big tent, through compromise.

But we're not gonna do that.

We're gonna build
our own grassroots,

from the ground up.

There aren't 100 different ways
to get what we want.

There's only one way.

And what's that?

(chuckles)
Our way.

We need a grassroots
organization we can create

and control.

We'll call it...

the One Wayers.

Get on it
right away.

Get on what?

Astroturfing.

Be careful.

Yes. Thank you.

I am being careful.

Do you want me to do it?
No.

In fact,

I want you to sit there.

Your dad died?

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Thanks.

Your friend?

Yeah.

We can figure
this out.

There it is.

Alive or dead?

Dead.

You caught...

a Blattella germanica,
a cockroach.

That's it?
Yep.

Do you want it back?
(exhales)

That means they're still
in my apartment. What?

The screwworms.

(indistinct chatter)

Thank you.

LAUREL:
Luke, call me.

It went well.
Really well, actually.

I think you may have the votes.

BLADES:
Ms. Healy,

do you mind coming with us?

Why? Uh, what's going on?

We just need a moment, ma'am.
Please hand me your phone.

I'd rather not.
Yes,

but I insist.

I'm supposed
to meet my brother.

Please, ma'am.

(door opens)

Hello.

My brother'll be
wondering where I am.

If you...

(door closes)

Hello?

I work for Senator Healy.

(door opens)

Please sit down.

You do know my brother's
been expecting me for an hour?

What do you know about CHIs?

I don't...

What are CHIs?

Catastrophic head injuries.
What can you tell us about them?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

You witnessed one CHI

in an ambulance, then you called

one of our agents
about another--

Oscar Foster,

who died in a CT
scan machine.

So I'm not sure how you can say
you know nothing about them.

I didn't know
they were called CHIs.

Why did you call
Agent Onofrio?

Because he asked me to call
if I knew anything.

And what did you know?

Is this how this works--
you pull me off the streets

and drag me into
this anonymous building

and start questioning me
without a lawyer?

When we told you about
John Broadbent dying from a CHI,

why did you leave your office?

Thank you.

(door closes)
I'd like to go now.

Did you leave
because you were

upset about him dying?
I'd like to leave now.

No. I'm not sure

why you're making this
contentious, Ms. Healy.

We just have a few
questions about CHIs.

Please sit down.

No, thank you.

You were seen

talking to
an African-American man

outside the Library of Congress.

Who was that?

(door opens)

Anthony?

Ms. Healy. Hello.

Please, sit back down.

BLADES: Who was the
African-American man

you talked to outside

the Library
of Congress?

What do you think?

I don't know.

I think we keep her overnight.

LUKE:
Where's my sister?

Excuse me?

You're illegally
holding my sister.

No, she's a witness.

We're questioning her,
that's all.

Oh, well, then she's free to go.

We got a call,
Senator.

A terrorist group
taking credit

for these CHIs.

Yeah, what group?

That's... confidential.

I understand.
Well, then make an appointment

and ask her your questions.

Seriously?

You want to do this
with someone who sits on

the appropriations committee?

The people who control
your budget?

Laurel?

Thank you.

Hey, it's like
when Dad was hauled off

for that Abramoff thing.

Yeah. You were pretty
great in there, though.

Charging in--
"Do you have my sister?"

Yeah. It was heroic.

(phone rings)

I can't believe this--
he's trying to call me.

Anthony.

What a bastard.

He was the one
flirting with you before?

Yeah. I sure know
how to attract

the winners, don't I?
Son of a bitch.

He was the one who called me

to tell me
you were being questioned.

Anthony?
Yes.

Hey, by the way,

Ella backed down.
Good job.

Yeah, she's not challenging me
for whip anymore.

What? Since when?

An hour ago.
Your talk worked.

You must have
told the story

about me carrying you
in the snow.

Yup.

I almost cried.

Really.

I love you, sis.

No one got killed today.
That's a plus.

♪ You might think it's foolish ♪

♪ This chancy rendezvous ♪

(cat meows)
♪ You might think ♪

♪ You might think I'm crazy ♪

♪ All I want ♪

♪ All I want is you ♪

(meows louder)

♪ All I want is you ♪

♪ All I want ♪

♪ All I want is you. ♪

(softly):
Damn.

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