Boy Meets Girl (2009–…): Season 1, Episode 2 - Episode #1.2 - full transcript

has happened.

Who is this?
It's Veronica.

Bill says...

not to worry about rushing back.

This way, silly.

I want to do serious stories
about cover-ups.

I know a lot about them.

Fashion?

We need to connect.

You're not connecting with me,
you pervert.

Listen, my best mate's missing, so
you'd better tell me what you know.



If you're...worried about Siobhan or
Jay, neither of them need to know.

I'm never going to let you
out of my sight again.

Please, help me. My name is Veron -

I'm back.

But you've changed.

Nothing's changed.

Really? Why are you wearing those?

Your hands.

What's that?

It's Jay.

He's pressing a pole
against your thigh.

What are you doing that for?

So, although Brian's more
experienced,

I felt like they were
giving me the nod.



THINKS: 'I can't believe
he thinks I'm her.

..if I applied, the job's mine.

Actually, I can believe it.
Look at him.'

It'd be one hell of a commission.

Proper money as well. Proper.

We'll be dining on caviar
every night.

And why would we want to do that?

It's a joke.

Oh.

Sorry.

You're ironing your socks.

Yeah.

Like I...normally do.

Why?

I've got to go.

You're early.

Got to run an errand on the way in.

Hey! (KISSING SOUNDS)

Don't forget your handbag.

Cheerio.
See you.

I saw him being arrested on the TV
last night, the anti-fur
demonstrations.

Oh, one of that lot.

His name is Danny Reed.

Nope. No-one of that name.

Maybe...maybe he didn't know
his name.

So then how would I know it?

Or maybe he thought he was a woman.

Right. That's enough.

Ohhh, said he was a woman?

I know the one.
He's here?

No. Let him go about an hour ago.

He was doing our heads in.

He claimed he was an undercover
journalist called...

Veronica.

That's it.

Where did he go?

He went that way.

And I suggest you do the same before
I do you for wasting police time.

Jay, you won't believe
what's happened, you...

You're not going to believe
what's happened!

Shit! You're not going to believe
what's happened.

Jay...

(# ROCK MUSIC)

Hiya.

"This season's shades
come in three styles.

Corporate red, oppressive pink,
and sell-out orange.

Wear them and feel like
a useless sex object."

Is this a joke?

It's like...guerrilla journalism.

You know, it's...it's subversive.

We haven't used a word of what
you've written since you came back.

I need the chatty airhead
that readers love.

Otherwise...sorry, Vee,
you're out of here.

I'm not running a charity.

I've got a few ideas, actually.
I've been researching -

You've got that big fashion show
tomorrow.

Give me your best prose,
Miss Burton.

Right...

Thanks.

'I've got somewhere to stay and a
job I can use until I track her
down.'

But it's ridiculous and stupid
and I'll get found out.

'But it don't matter cos I'm going
to find her.'

(MOBILE RINGS)

WOMAN: He's been having an affair.

Is Veronica Burton here?

And what's your name?

She'll want to see me. Trust me.

I'm sorry, she's not here.
Would you like to leave a message?

So she...she's working here.

She's...she's coming to work
doing my job -

Bill!

Bill. It's so good to see you.
You've got to help me.

Sorry, do I...?
Oh...yeah, sorry...

This will sound crazy
but you do know me.

What's happened to me, I can't...

explain, but it's the biggest story
you've ever heard.

Yeah. Great. I have a meeting -

No! Please!
Sorry.

Don't go.

Please.

(SHOES SQUEAKING)

And if we see you again,
we'll call the police.

I've had my suspicions for months.

Conversations on the telephone,
getting back late from work.

I found an email.

Who from?

It didn't say.

Maybe it's for the best.

Now you know what he's really like,
it'll save you the pain later.

God, you can be so hurtful
sometimes.

Well...it's true, isn't it?

What's the point of staying with
someone who doesn't really love you?

What? Like you didn't love Jay?

Did...I say that?

Why would I stay with him
if I didn't love him?

Because he puts you on a pedestal.

He adores you and it's easy.

We women are hard to fathom,
aren't we?

Men are weirder.

No, they're not.

Men are just horrible,
leering idiots.

Women are...

Phew!

I don't know and I am one.

(DISBELIEVING LAUGH)

So what am I going to do?

It's up to you.

You know what I think?

(SLURPS COFFEE)

Bye then.
SUBTITLES -= Hosszu Puska Sub .com =-

What the hell are you doing here?

Did she guess it was you.
I don't think so.

Get away from me! What do we do
now she knows?

Do? We're not doing anything.

Veronica! I'm crazy about you.

The smell of you, you hair,
your legs wrapped around me.

Do you mind? I've just eaten.

I need you!
You need sterilising.

You're all mad!

You, her, Jay - the whole lot of you!

You've got all these jobs and money
and nice clothes and everything
you want,

and you're all just completely
screwed up!

Are you lot all like this?

Since when did you get
so high and mighty?

Since I woke up!

And saw things for what
they really are.

This ends here, right now.

You don't go near me again,
you don't talk to me! All right?

Siobhan. Siobhan.

Er, look, before you say anything,
let me explain.

I know I look like just
a random guy -

I have one hand on my set of keys
and the other on my rape alarm,

if you say another word
or move another step,

I will...
set if off...

..and scream...
..and scream...

..very...
..very...

..loud.
..loud. I know.

We did the same self-defence course
with a mad ex-army lesbian who had
a crush on you.

It's me, Siobhan, it's -

(HIGH-PITCHED ALARM)

(SIGHS)

Pete! Stop it!

You're coming with me
and you're going to talk.

Ohhh! Is that how you normally
treat women?

Sorry about that. Idiot!

It's really good to see you.

Look, stop being weird.
We want the truth.

No, you don't. No-one does.

What does that mean?

It's me, Pete.

It's me!

I don't know the truth.

I don't know what's happened
and I don't understand it.

You know where Danny is.

So would I be pulling
my hair out looking for him?

You know what's happened to him.
Not really, no.

So how come he never mentioned
you to me?

I got the impression he was troubled
and sometimes talking to a stranger's
a good thing.

See? Told you.

Look. We have to find him soon.

He's probably still confused
after the accident.

What accident?

It's just a guess.

Well, is he all right?

I don't know.

What accident?
I don't know!

You don't know much, do you? If
you're so worried about him, why
tell Fiona not to go to the police?

He's...an adult who's gone missing.

They won't give a shit!

If we want to find him,
we have to do it.

Just...

Just find him! Get him back.

And call me when you do, please!

Do you think he was shagging her
or something?

What, Danny, with her? If Danny had
even kissed a girl, I'd have known.

No, she's lying. It's obvious.

And she knows where he is.

I know you're finding it hard.

Maybe you lost something
in the accident.

Your mojo?

All those problems
me and Marcus were having?

THIS sorted them.

He's like a new man.

And his sales figures are up like...

40 percent this quarter.

Read your old articles.

Find that thing you
had that everyone loved.

Find that mojo.

(CHUCKLES)

It'll take more than that,
sweetie-pie. Yeah?

The wheels have come off
your career.

You've been found out.

And I, for one, am going to enjoy
watching your slow, miserable descen

into unemployment.

Tosser.

'Right. If you're going to do this,

you've got to be more convincing.'

And...after a few years
in the doldrums...

London Fashion Week is once again
able to compete with the likes of
Milan or New York.

The big names are here.
The buzz is back.

And the shows are bursting
with the hottest new talent.

This is Veronica Burton
for the City Gazette.

Who are you?

'Where are you?'

'What now?'

Who are you?

Veronica Burton knows about
our missing friend.

She's being weird
and she's telling lies.

What missing friend?
Danny.

He works at the DIY store with us.

# The boy with a thorn in his side

# Behind the hatred there lies
a murderous desire

# For love

# How can they look into my eyes

# And still they don't believe me

# How can they hear me say
those words

# Still they don't believe me #

I didn't think you liked
this type of music.

Why are you listening to it?

Dunno.

Sort of sounds sad.

Got me thinking.

About when I were a kid.

How unhappy I used to be.

I've never heard you say that
before.

Why don't you ever talk about
your childhood?

Or your family?

I'm really sorry. I'm tired.

Listen. I don't know where you are
in your head,

but I'm going to give you the space
to sort yourself out.

You know...you know what would...

..stop us feeling so...distant

from each other?

If...things really aren't right
in your head...

maybe you need to see someone.

No, no!

I'm fine.

Really I am.

Everything's...

normal.

Well then...

Then we do what...

normal couples do.

Let me make love to you, Vee.

I've got a headache.

A headache?

Yeah. Terrible.

And my back's killing me
from the bra.

And those shoes have screwed
my ankles. It's hard work, you know.
Seriously, mate.

Darling.

Soon...

I promise.

Oi!

You again. I'm watching you.

He's stolen my life!

He's passing himself off as me!

Maybe that's his plan.

If you don't piss off right now,
I'll kick your head in.

And don't think about coming back.

'London Fashion Week is once again
able to compete with the likes of
Milan or New York.

The big names are here.

The buzz is back.

And the shows are bursting with
the hottest new talent.'

This is Veronica Burton
for the City Gazette.

(SIGHS)

(SIGHS)

(PLAYS TAPE BACK)

And, after a few years
in the doldrums,

London Fashion Week...'

'If I can't stop being her,

I need to do a better job
at pretending I am her.'

This is Veronica Burton.

This is...Veronica Burton.

(THUNDER)

Good article.

Well written. Punchy. Concise.

Shame it appeared in the paper
two years ago.

Do I look like a mug, Veronica?

And let's talk about this lad
missing from the DIY store.

Why would you be interested
in a story like that?

Human interest piece.

The angle being?

I've had his friends in here.
They think you've abducted him.

That's patently ridiculous!

So what is the explanation?

I'm cutting Burton's Buzz
to half a page.

You've just lost half
your column inches.

Keep this up, and the other half
will follow.

I can do serious stuff.

I know loads about politics.

You don't know the real me!

(ALL CLEARING THEIR THROAT)

Hi. Veronica.

It's Danny.

Look, I know you probably haven't got
your phone...

my phone...

but the police said you didn't know
your name.

My name...

it's Danny Reed.

That's your name.

Look, you can call me at the paper.

I haven't told anyone about us cos...

I don't think they'd believe us.

Look, just call me.

Please.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Veronica Burton, senior investigative
reporter with the City Gazette.

Tell your boss we need to talk.

We are doing a piece on
missing persons,

and we thought your bureau would be
the perfect place to start.

We'd like to do a full feature
on you, if we could.

That will be fantastic.

So...

how do you go about finding...
a missing person?

Well...that really depends how much
they want to be found, I think.

Oh, they want to be found,
I'm sure of it.

Sorry...are you talking about anyone
in particular?

No...no.

Just, er...

Let's just take an example.

I was looking on your website and...

May I?

Yeah, of course.

Let's just tap in a random name.

Say that guy.

Well...that's interesting because
he's only just gone missing.

Sounds like he's still living
in the city so...

there's quite a good chance
he'd be spotted.

So you'd send people out to find him?

We're a charity, not a bunch of
private investigators.

But...

what if he leaves?

You could be wasting valuable time.

Are you looking to write an article?

Or are you looking for someone?

What if...

I - were - looking for someone?

And what if it were...

that man there?

(And what if I told you...

it was a matter of national security
that he gets found?)

Then I think I'd probably call
the police.

Well, it's just as well none of
that's true then.

Thanks very much indeed.

I'll be in touch about the article.

Thanks very much.

You see, Danny's friends seem to
think you know more than you're
letting on.

I met him in this pub a few times.

I think he just wanted someone
to talk to.

He was...lonely.

So you've been searching
high and low...

for this relative stranger,
just because you're concerned?

How many times you meet him?

Three or four?

So you drink in the Moonraker's Arms
regular?

Sometimes.

What would a woman like you be doing
in a dive like Rosewood?

I met a contact there once.

Got to liking the pub.

Contact? For what story?

Can't remember.

Oh, I've liked your stuff.

It's all the...fashion and
celebrities, that right?

Funny, the publican didn't
recognise your photo.

Oh...I keep myself to myself.

Except when you're talking to lonely
men who work in DIY stores.

Hang on a minute.

I recognise you. You came in
yesterday,

asking about that bloke
we'd arrested.

Remember - that nutter thought
he was a woman?

A woman journalist, actually.

What was his name, Miss Burton?

That was Danny Reed! You arrested him
then let him go.

Now he's disappeared again!

What's the story, darling?

You got some dark secret
you'd like to share?

Maybe...I'm not the person you knew.

Maybe I've changed.

Maybe I'm like you now.
But better.

They are right.

You have gone nuts.

Oop.

Boss would like a word.

Even though the police are currently
questioning you about the
disappearance of a young man,

even though you lied to a missing
persons charity...

and even though your standard
of work is abysmal...

Human resources advise me that I
can't just sack you on the spot.

I first have to give you
a final written warning.

So...

here it is.

Now you've got a very big
gig tonight.

You go out and write me the piece
of your life

or I swear to God...!

(CLEARS THROAT)

Have we made ourselves clear?

Why did you call the police?
I asked you not to.

It was Pete's idea.

We can't speak here.
If Pete sees us, he'll kill me.

Why do you care about Danny?
You hardly know him.

Do you care about him?

Well, he's...Pete's friend
and he's worried about him.

Seems like there aren't enough people
who did care about him.

I thought...he might be in trouble.

What, with the guy at the pub?
Barry?

We know about him.

I think you might be barking up
the wrong tree with Barry.

Or maybe not.

Maybe...

What?

Hmmm...nothing. It's hard to explain.

You see, it's saying stuff like that
that's making Pete suspicious.

But...

if I told you it was hard to explain,
could you take me at my word?

Could you trust me?

THINKS: 'Oh, God.'

'Oh, God.'

Oh, God...

What?

Hmm...nothing.

It's weird.

I hardly know anything about you,
but...

I feel like I really know you.

Does that sound stupid?

No. No, it doesn't.

It doesn't at all.

Because it's true.

Oh, God, I want to tell someone,
I really do.

You can tell me.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Just I feel the same way,
like I know you.

Um...got to get back, yeah?

All right.

Look...just please keep looking for
Danny. He's in the city somewhere,
I know it.

And if you find him,
ring me straight away.

OK.

(CLEARS THROAT)

Well, I'd better get back and all.

Sounds good, your job.

Glamorous.

It's a load of meaningless drivel.

What you going to do?

I'm going to a bloody fashion show.

Swap you.

Happily.

They won't believe me.

So I'm going to clean myself up.
Start telling lies.

I'm praying for your soul, sir.

Thank you.

Jenny.
Yeah?

Can you tell me some general things
about fashion?

What do you mean?

I mean...what's in,
what's fashionable right now?

I'm interested in your take
on things.

Well, primary colours but with
an autumnal hint.

Unusual fabrics - say, corduroy
and silk, cotton and rayon.

Quite 70s, flowing hems, the whole
folk chic look but more urban.

And a bit of a space feel,
but sort of a 60s version.

Primary, 70s folk, autumnal,
space-type thing.

That's about it.

Great!

Veronica.

Marvellous to see you.

And Jenny.

You're looking a lot less
dowdy these days.

Veronica's good taste must be
rubbing off on you.

I'm sure that'll be it, Myriam.

Now - I think you're going to like
this collection.

Much better than that awful couture
show the other month.

It really was abysmal, wasn't it?

Terrible.

Very, very...not urban enough.

Oh...I thought it was too urban.

Oh, way too urban. Not...

rural enough.

And where was autumn?

I saw only spring.

'Don't screw this up.

Don't be rude to people.
Don't speak your mind.

Just shut up, get your head down
and do it.

If you stop being her, you'll lose
your identity and they'll lock you
up.'

Just don't be a cock.

All right, have you spoken to him?

Yeah. We're going to see how it goes
for a few weeks.

I think he's genuinely sorry.

Oh, God, not that awful woman!
Why have you dragged me here?

To help me get through this
living hell.

Are you all right?

Never better.

I've heard Barry talking about
the last time he saw Danny.

He lent him his van to go
and get something.

I don't know what but, um, it was
on the night of the storms.

You know, when those power lines
came down.

And I think that's got something
to do with it.

Maybe that was the accident.
Storms.

You didn't hear any of this from me.

And I wouldn't go asking Barry.

He's not the sort of guy
you want to tangle with.

We understand.
SUBTITLES -= Hosszu Puska Sub .com =-

But...do you know where he lives?

The future...

Well...violet!

And green.

Yep, violets and greens.

Silk, turbans...

sort of the...metrosexual...
chiffon folk-type thing.

Oh, look.

Nobody knows. Nobody knows anything.

I don't know, you don't know.

We're all just pretending.

Iron knickers could be massive
for all we know.

I'd stop before you make any more of
a fool of yourself.

A bit late for that, I think.

Don't you, Myriam?

Please take your seats,
ladies and gentlemen.

The show of the first collection
will start in two minutes.

I don't have to sit through this,
do I?

I seriously suggest you do.

(# POUNDING ROCK SCORE)

Who would wear that?!

When would you seriously wear that?

Ohh! Just popping out to the garden
centre, darling.

Thought I'd put my tutu on.

Sit down, Veronica.

Look at you all

pretending this matters!

What are these clothes?!

Look at the size of these women!

(GROANS)
Ohhh...

Ohhh, sorry. Sorry, love.

Sorry. But we live in a world of...

of...poverty and injustice.

And what are you looking at?

Anorexic women wearing tutus!

And you...

Do you seriously enjoy being
a freakish clothes horse

helping teenage girls to develop
a lifetime of insecurities

just because you happen
by sheer accident of birth

to be considered beautiful?

Ohh, you want to gawp at something?

Have a gawp at me!

I'm a real woman! This is what
a real woman looks like.

Even if you knew the truth,

you would not be able to handle it.

I know the truth!

I - am - the - truth.

Oh , sod it!

I'm a ma - !

(CRASH)

I don't think you need any more
champagne.

I don't think you should be
telling me what to do.

Vee, you need help.
Serious professional help.

I need help?

It's women who need help!

Look at you all!

You put up with all this crap
from men -

You think you're any different?

At least I don't hate myself.

You think I hate myself?

I know you do.

You hate yourself that much
you don't even know it.

Why else would you stay with
an arsehole like Ali?

You know he's never going to stop
shagging other women as well as I do.

Because he's a tosser.

You're pathetic.

You're miserable and unhappy,

and you always will be because
you're too weak

to find anything better.

I don't know you are any more.

But you're not my friend.

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Ohh...hi, Jay.

Er...Listen, I'm a friend of
Veronica's, and er...

I'm a bit worried about her.
I wondered if we could have a chat?

Er...I'm sorry, do I know you?

Yeah, Si...Simon Schama.

Marketing Department.

Simon Scham...

Isn't he that history guy?
He is, yeah.

Friend of mine, that bloke.

Um...you're worried about her?

Jay...you've no idea how good
it is to see you.

OK, what's going on?

Will you listen to me, no matter
what I say? Because this...

will freak you out. Do you
understand?

No, not really.

No...of course not. Look at me!

Nails, my hair...

How would you believe it was me?

I don't look like me,
I'm trapped in here!

But it is me.

It...it's Pookle.

How do you know that name?

Something has happened. If I told
you, you wouldn't believe me,

but how would I know that name
unless I was Pook...? It's me, babe!

The craziest thing's happened to me,
as you can see!

Yeah... Can you just excuse me
for a minute?

Is she here?
Don't bring her into this.

She is, isn't she?

Why don't you...just have
a drink, from the fridge?

I won't be a minute.

..he seems very unhinged.

And he knows personal stuff
about me.

Look...please...

Look, dammit, there is no easy
way to say this.

But remember the accident?

The accident? Yes, yes, but you're
better now, aren't you?

Look, baby, plea...
It's me. It's me!

Remember Corsica last year?

Guy with a pet monkey?

You prefer classic rock to modern
music, you know, ELO and Elton John.

That's Barry.

This is a really bad idea.

Right. This is our chance.

Wait, wait... What exactly
are you going to do?

Go in there, run upstairs, see if
Danny's around, then escape through
a window.

Pete. You watch too much television.

You heard that barmaid. Barry's
involved. He was the last person
to see Danny.

I'm going in there whether
you're coming or not.

Kayleigh was robbed.

Bollocks. Emily was the only one
who looked like a model.

Kayleigh didn't have
the personality.

Yeah, but she improved the most
during the series.

So what? That doesn't mean
she should have won.

What do you think, Pete?

'Where are you? Please, tell me
where you are.'

VERONICA!

Well, you're missing out, Fiona.

That's all I can say. The Americans
might have all the girls.

But Britain's next top model's
bitchier.

And that makes for better television.

And...Lisa Snowden's well fit.

Yeah. Not surprised Clooney fell for
her when they were making that
Martini ad together.

Anyway, been lovely seeing you both,

but me and Steve-o have got to get on
with our bridge evening.

I know who you are, because I make it
my business to know who you are.

And no, I don't know what happened to
your little mate.

But if you do see him, you can tell
him if he don't give me my van back,

Steve-o will chop his balls off.

Any questions?

Was it to do with those power lines
that came down that night?

Did he have an accident?

If ever I see you two
around here again...

you're dead, all right?

Is he still watching us?

I'm not turning around.
He could shoot us in the back.

I didn't see any guns.
They might throw knives at us.

Calm down. They might chase us
in a car, knock us down -

Pete, shut up!

He's not there, he's not there.

Ohhh!

Silly sod.

It was something to do with
those power lines.

Did you see his face?

Pete. We don't know anything.

Pete. Pete!

I'm sorry. I thought you -

No.

No, it's fine, it's fine.

It's just, you know, we're friends.
I'd like it to stay that way.

All right.

Is there someone else?

Not exactly.

I understand.

'Jesus. What if I'm stuck
like this forever?'

All right.

Do you want to tell me why you've
been telling weird strangers

all about our private life?

I'm a mess.

Everything's a mess.

The universe has gone wrong.

Hey.

Heyyy.

Calm down. I'm here now.

Everything's going to be all right.

I'm scared I'll be stuck
like this forever.

Shhh.

'Well, that...

that could have been worse.

I guess you've got to try
everything once.'

'Hang on. This is quite weird.'

'Maybe a bit too weird.'

'Oh, God. Is this a good idea?'

'I dunno. Jesus...

Think of something.

Oh, God...close your eyes and...

think of someone else.

Keira Knightley, Keira Knightley.

Keira Knightley...Keira Knightley...'

Stop calling me Veronica!

I'm Danny!

Stop saying that!

Homeless, poor and insane.

Great.

That's just great.

Now...

I want him to stop!

Follow that bus!

This bus goes to Rosewood.

Just get on with it and drive.

I'll forget who I am,
then I'll just think I'm her.

I'm going to take charge,
Veronica Burton.

I'm going to be your...man.

I really like you...Veronica.

And I really, really, really
like you too.

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