Bounty Hunters (2017–…): Season 1, Episode 6 - full transcript

So you're just going to run away?

- Yeah.

- There is a police officer
working for the Shermans.

- Have you thought about
taking a little time off?

- What are you doing?

- GPS, we can
track it to the statues.

- What if somebody twigs?

- Nina, the statues!

We got an address.

- You want the statues or not?

- Get outta here.

Not you.


- Thank you.

- Bring the statues here, tomorrow night.

And get out.

- The child lock's still on.

- Are you nuts?

Nina, we gotta get outta here!

- And go where, Ma?
- Back to New York.

- You don't think they're gonna
come looking for us there?

- What if there's someone comes looking

and we want them to find us?

- You mean, like, Santa Claus?

- Jesus.


It's been 15 years.

- Nina.

We need to go home.

- Ma, you think I don't know that?

I'll do the deal, then we're
gonna use our half of the money

to start over.

- Did you do something to
upset your insurance company?

- I actually think as replacements
go, it's rather swish.

- Who designed it? Pixar?

- That's Webb.

Why would anyone swap
that cracking bod for dad?

- What?

- The Italian bird dad's schtupping?

Webb Sherman's wife.

- The more I hear about your father,

the more you make sense.

All right, you know what?

I have had enough of you, all right?

- Please, can we focus?

How are we going to break into this place?

Get these statues back?

It's got more security than Fort Knox.

- Well, I know a man who's broken down

more than one back door in that house.

- No.

Absolutely, categorically not.


- Hi.

Come in, come in if you're coming in.

And shut that door if you don't mind.

I was just having my breakfast.

- Anchovies and a bottle of red wine?

- I know, it should be white with fish.

- It shouldn't be wine!

- I'm on holiday!

Pull up a bucket.

No, not that one!

I thought you didn't get my texts.

- No, I did.

- Why didn't you text me?

- Because this is a grown-up problem.

- Says the guy who's shitting in a bucket.

Why are you hiding in here anyway?

- Look.

The Shermans have been
trying to have me killed.

Their man boarded my flight to Spain.

Luckily, I managed to nip off
before the plane took off.

- So what do you plan on doing now?

- I was gonna talk to that Suleiman girl

but apparently she's been suspended.

- So what are you going to do?

- Currently, I would
sell my soul for a bath.

- Well you do know mom is at home?

And after the way you've treated her

I wouldn't be surprised if she

knocked you out.

- Thank God!
- Shh.

- I thought I'd never see you again.

I'm so, so sorry, Nigel.

- Mom?

You don't have anything to apologize for.

- You don't understand.

I've been dishonest too.

- If this is the thing you
told me you did after "Poldark"

that's not cheating.

- Nigel, your accident

it was my fault.

- What?
- What?

- Well, I couldn't find my glasses.

You know what I'm like.

And, um, well I picked up the wrong phone

and I saw a message from her.

And I felt such a fool.

And a little bit upset, actually.

And you were smoking
one of your foul cigars

out of the bedroom window
and | just thought,

"Sod it."

- You pushed him?

- Do you think I'm a monster?

- No.

- Respect.

- Well, it's all over now, hey?

How have you been otherwise?

- Well, um, ticking along.

- Ticking along?

Mom, you got kidnapped!

- You make it sound so dramatic.

- It was, I was terrified!

- Well, let's just have a nice cup of tea.

- Lovely.

- I'll get some biscuits.

- Get the fuck outta here.

- It was last Valentine's Day.

The Shermans are skiing in Vail.

I decide to pop over to Monica's
for a quick knee trembler.

- Can you get to the point?

- I put the wrong code into the alarm.

Five minutes later, I'm
facedown on a bed of rose petals

being hogtied by the police.

- The code.

- I'll give you a clue.

Caravaggio's dates?

- 1571, 1610.

- Very good.

Now every day at three

Webb Sherman has a music lesson
and Keegan has a massage.

There's a 45 minute window.

- To carry out seven huge statues

from their house in broad daylight?

- Tell me about the interior.

- Vulgar, very American.

No offense.

- She meant the layout, Dad.

Where are they going to keep the statues?

They keep their under-the-counter pieces

in a vault in the library.

But it can only be opened with
the Shermans' fingerprints.

- The massage.

We go in, say we're the masseuse.

- Then chop off their fingers.

- Get their prints.

- If you're going to
pose as Keegan's masseuse

you're gonna have to
wear something skimpy.

- Like father, like son,
treating me like a piece of meat.

- I meant Barnaby.

- Hello.


- Shall we?

- Lie down, please.

On front.

- Igor!

Don't hold back.

My lumbar can take a pounding.

- Hey, babe.

Your hair looks nice.

- Thanks.

- Wanna come over here

and help me make some fake fingerprints?

I gotta break into a house tonight.

Your know, your mom's still a Morales.

We don't give up on each other.


- Yeah, I guess.

- Baby.

If she wants to find
you, she'll find a way.


Come here, I love you.

- Stop.

- Now hand massage for you?

- You read my mind.

- Healing clay.

Make you strong like bull.

- Yes.

Now, if you'll do the honors.

Well, what are you waiting for?

I meant pass me a towel.

- What are you doing?

- Nothing.


I'm fine.

- Do you have provenance for
those statues, by the way?

They're worthless without it.

Barnaby, I don't want
you to blame your mother

for what she did.

- I don't, I 100% blame you.

- You know, Fiona and I

have never really been
very good at home truths.

But if it's any consolation

our relationship is still
remarkably physical.

- Please stop talking.
- Very wise.

Bury it deep down.

Now, I knew a man called John Drewe.

He was a forger, sold fake paintings.

He had access to the archives

at the Tate, the National, the ICA.

So say he wanted to sell
a fake Picasso?

He'd go through all the archives,

find a letter actually from Picasso

and then he'd forge a description

of that fake painting into the letter

and then, if anyone challenged
him on its provenance,

it's right there in
Picasso's own handwriting.

- So he rewrote history?

- Exactly.

Now apply that to the statues, okay?

We need to put a few
previous owners between us

and the statues' leaving Syria.

So what do we need?


Yeah, dead people.

Dead dealers, dead collectors.

You gotta keep everything.

Letters, checks, invoices.

Signatures are worth their weight in gold.

You can be a conman or a con-artist.

Your Mexicans are very jolly.

- Puerto Ricans.

- Really colorful.

But are you sure we need to
throw them such a big bone?

The statues do belong to us.

- It's 50/50.

- Okay.

But a million dollars split
between the three of us

won't go very far.

- There are four of us in this family.

- Come on, your mother's
barely lifted a finger.

- Ta-da!

Yo, check this out.

- Well, you're a little
box of tricks.

- You touch my hair again,

your arm's gonna be the
next thing I put in plaster.

- I thought this might come in handy.

For the heist.

- What is that?

- This, my son, is a cattle prod.

- Dad, no weapons.

You can get life for armed robbery.

- Just a thought.

- Maybe your father's right.

I mean, we could use all
the help that we can get.

You know what I'm saying?

- Yeah.

I've been thinking about that.

- Cute slippers.

- What are you doing here?

- We can give you what you
need to convict the Shermans.

- Hello again.

- Holy shit!

What the hell?

- I said no weapons!

- He's a psychopath.

- Stay by the car.
- Come on!

- Come on!
- Shh!

- Is that a one or a seven?

- Obviously it's a one.

Caravaggio didn't live to 100.

- I don't know who this jerk-off is!

- This jerk-off is the
forefather of radical naturalism.

- The code!

- Don't appreciate you shouting at me!


- Hello?

- Have you ever heard of a thing

called positive re-enforcement?

- Stop acting like a little bitch.

- Who's there?


- That didn't just happen.

- Detective Suleiman.

- I'm responding to a call-out
we received from your alarm.

I thought they'd put you out to pasture.

- Worse, nights.

DCI Robinson must've known how much

I'd love baby sitting this neighborhood.

- I guess he does have a
sense of humor after all.

This is where it was triggered.

- Must have been a false alarm.

- Peter hath cried wolf.

- Something like that.

- My brother carb-loads
when he's stressed.

- I can sit outside in
the car for half an hour

if it puts your mind at rest?

- That would be very kind, detective.

You're not coming up?

- Think I need to work off those Twinkies.

Feel positively Rubenesque.

- Shit.

Maybe it needs to be body temperature.

Suck it.

- What?

- Suck it.

- Why me?

- I'm not doing it!

Just do it!

No, be more sensual.

I'm kidding.

I'll go get the gates, okay?

- Thought you could get away?

You're in my house now, baby.


- Don't jab it.

She's calling Barnaby,

you plotz.
- I know, I know,

but I wanna watch "Storage Wars"!

- Igor?

- I very sorry.

I leave phone.

- I should have known those were

the coarse hands of a thief.

Put the lamp down.

- I can't do that.

So, stay back!

- Don't break it!

- I got it.

- Where's Nigel Walker?

- Yep, me again.

- Thanks.

My God!

Enough already.

Jesus Christ.

- I'm sorry, Igor

- What?

- Finally!

No problem, darling, sorry.

Sofia's got it working.

- What the hell are you doing?

- Get him off me.

- Go faster.


My God!

- Drop it!

- This wasn't part of the plan!

- Get down on the ground, now!

- Friends of yours?

- Not exactly.

I was investigating them
when I got suspended.

They tried to cut me in on tonight.

I pretended to go along with it.

- That's why you got here so quickly?

- I know I should have called it in,

but I saw it as an
opportunity to make amends.

- Well, detective.

Mens have been a made.

- Forensics.

- A word?

About the statues.

- We can make you a very rich woman.

I may have concussion.

- Well, if you've got
all of the provenance

then we'll get the statues back to you

as soon as Forensics are happy.

- Suleiman's here.

- I'll be 20 minutes.

- Make it 10.

I've got Forensics crawling
all over the place.

- Forensics?

- Art and antiquitie.

- Yeah, this is DI
Suleiman, Special Crimes.

- How can help?

- I'm calling for back-up.

- Where's dad?

- No, no, no!


- Barnaby!
- B!


- Yeah, I need an ETA now.

You've gotta get out of here.

The police are on their way.

- Dad!

What are you doing?


- We gotta move.

- Dad.
- Yeah?

- I know that I never measured
up to your expectations.

And you're not who I needed you to be.

But I just wanted to
say, no hard feelings.

- I'm sorry.

- Barnaby, let me go.

- Suleiman, she wants the Shermans

but she needs you to testify.

You can do a year in prison

then everything can go back to normal.

- No, no, it can't!

- Suleiman will protect you.

- Bullshit!

- Barnaby, we gotta go!

- Please, Barnaby.


Before you go, at least
give your old man a hug.

- Right, were you just going
to try and cattle prod me?

- Get those statues out of that van!

- Mr. Sherman, calm down.

- Barnaby!

Leah, I'm your father!

- Stop!


- Gotcha.



- We've got to go back for him!

- No, no, no, no, no, no, no!

- Let me out!
- No!

The cops are gonna be
all over us, all right?


- Dad!



- Where's Pearce?

- Do you mind?

- Tell my wife I love her.

Tell his wife I love her, too.