Boomerang (2015–2019): Season 3, Episode 12 - Choc post-chaotique - full transcript
Did you spend the night with him?
Yes.
Shit. I am so sorry.
I swear, this was never
supposed to happen.
Please don't say anything else.
No, no, wait. Wait, wait...
I want you to know, everything
between us, it wasn't fake.
-It's actually thanks to you that...
-Oh, really?
You're thanking me for helping you
get back together with your ex?
Here.
Yes, I'm alone.
Wait, someone's at the door.
It might be him.
Maybe he forgot something...
-Hello.
-You idiot... You idiot!
So?
There's going to be an investigation
and then a trial.
Until then, I'm free, but there's
a list of rules I have to obey.
-You've been accused of concealment?
-Yes.
Apparently, I should've known
that three flat screens
cost more
than a bag of chips.
-You've never been great at numbers.
-Yes, that's true, but...
Speaking of last night,
are you going to...
I told him.
-OK. So...
-So, it's over.
OK!
Wait, I don't want you to think that
it had anything to do with you...
-No.
-It was because of a few things...
Yes!
No!
What happened yesterday
doesn't cancel out all the reasons
we're not together anymore.
-That's very clear!
-No, it's not clear.
-We can clarify everything in here.
-No. There's nothing to clarify.
-Everything is super clear.
-No! Patrick, no!
BOOMERANG
I don't think you're going
to work today.
What's going on?
Patrick was arrested last night.
Something about concealment,
apparently.
Concealment?
Concealment of what?
They took everything:
the dishwasher, the Italian
coffee machine, knives...
Knives?
Which knives?
Knives that looked like knives.
Pierre...
-Pierre, what's...
-No, no, no...
Pierre?
-Karine?
-Yes.
"45-year-old male, single,
looking to share his large
3.5 bed, all inclusive,
with sexy female,
not too demanding."
What kind of dating site is this?
It's not a dating site. It's for
finding somewhere to rent.
Huh?
Yep. I'm looking for an apartment.
But hang on, why would you want...
You'll see, this ointment
works miracles.
Oh, yeah?
Do you think I'm in good enough shape
to make it out alive?
Come on, you can't die
from a pulled muscle.
Hi, we're here!
Is that... That's Stéphanie.
-Enjoy the marathon.
-What are you doing?
What are you doing?
How's our poor Mom
with the broken leg?
We came to do
some housekeeping.
Are you OK?
You look weird.
No...
Say, were you just with another man?
He went out the patio door...
Saved himself!
Mom?
-Patrick?
-Just a second.
-Patrick!
-What, Pierre?
-Come here.
-I'm not comfortable being here.
I haven't sorted things out
with Karine. I don't want...
-No, it won't take long.
-What's up?
Listen, ask me what I was doing
between 11:05 and 11:22 p.m.
on the eighth?
What were you doing between 11:05
and 11:22 p.m. on the eighth?
-I was buying stolen knives.
-Huh?
I'm guilty of concealment, too.
Do you think we might
go to jail...
Pierre, I just saw the investigators.
They've got absolutely
no suspicions about you.
It's just a matter of time.
How are they going to find out it was
you who bought the knives?
As far as they're concerned, you're
just my little food truck helper.
Oh, that's real nice.
Anyway, if they ask me
any questions about the knives,
I'll take full responsibility.
No, but what about the trial!
You can't be sure you won't mess up.
Especially you.
My name might come up
without you even realizing!
-Pierre?
-Yes?
I'm going to plead guilty,
and that way there won't be
an investigation.
You'll be able to sleep soundly,
my man.
You would do that?
Even if I'm not
your father-in-law anymore?
No more of this father-in-law
or not business.
You're family to me,
and no one messes with my family.
That...
That's lovely, Patrick.
But what's going to happen
to your truck?
There are more important things
in life.
Ever since I got that truck,
my world turned upside down.
-I wouldn't say...
-Seriously, Pierre.
I was stuck marrying my best friend,
pretended to be gay for months,
then I lost the love of my life...
Fuck the truck!
Still, you were passionate about it.
I'm passionate about your daughter,
Pierre.
That I understand.
In fact, I'm glad to hear it.
But there was a time when we
were the big dogs.
We ruled the neighborhood.
PROUD OF HIS TRUCK!
OK, a nice big mouthful.
It looks good.
-Is it me or is that disgusting?
-It's very bad.
You can't replace olive oil
with balsamic vinegar.
You can't do that.
-I was running low on fat.
-But I slept here.
What an idiot... And you saw me do it
and didn't say anything!
No, no, no! It's important.
You have to find your place.
My place clearly isn't
in the kitchen.
Your place is everywhere,
except in the kitchen.
I'll try and sort this out.
Babe...
It's been a long time since
you called me that.
I'd like it if we got back together.
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
Because I'm ready. So ready.
I couldn't be more ready.
Wait, wait, wait...
-So, we're clear?
-We're clear.
Is that my cue?
This would go well
with your little blue skirt.
-Are you giving it to me?
-Yes.
Karine, that's for you.
You're going to need it.
I won't be needing it anymore.
I don't think your father
irons his shirts.
Mom, what are you doing?
Well, this...
this belonged
to your great-grandmother.
Just before she died,
she gave it to my mother,
who then passed it on to me.
So now...
Come on, Mom...
-What are you trying to tell us?
-What's going on?
-Mom...
-I'm going to run the marathon.
OK, you're messing with us?
I thought you had cancer.
It's worse!
Look, you're smart enough
to stop
if you feel like you can't finish it.
And have everyone who thinks I'm
too old
saying "I told you so"?
Huh? Huh?
No. No.
But you're anything but old.
You have more energy
than the two of us put together.
-Really?
-Oh, Mom...
-Don't do that again.
-You scared us.
Yes, I know, but...
Mr. Patrick Lussier, your actions
are very serious indeed.
This sentence is final
and effective immediately.
Shh! Shh! Steph.
His lawyer got him
three months' probation,
but he'll be under house arrest
the whole time.
That's the funniest part:
he'll have to stay
with Mom and Dad!
I'm coming home!
I swear, he'll be there every evening
from 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m.
That's negotiable.
The judge wanted him to have
a stable environment.
Nothing more stable
than his in-laws.
Hell no!
It's fine.
It's only for three months.
Good luck with the viewing.
-Bye, Steph!
-Bye.
There's nothing that
can keep me away!
Just can't cut the cord,
can you?
My parents are lucky.
At least they'll get
to have you every evening.
I don't know if we can talk
about luck.
The judge wanted to punish you by
sending you to live with the in-laws,
but it's us
being punished.
-Let's check out the market.
-Yeah.
Yes!
Patrick, wait.
Don't expect me to come
and sleep with you every night.
No. Come on, babe.
I'll probably come for a little
conjugal visit every so often.
I hope so.
There's no way you're coming
to squat in my cell.
It's not that I don't love you.
I do.
I just don't want to have to follow
you out of obligation anymore.
-Yes.
-Yes.
I'm going to be there
at the tenth kilometer,
Karine will be at the 24th kilometer,
Patrick will be at the 35th.
Then all three of us are going
to meet at the finish line.
-How is our inmate?
-In top shape.
-And you, roadrunner?
-I'm super.
How's my favorite marathoner doing?
No, she looks like she's in shape.
No, she isn't on drugs.
Mom, forget about Monique.
Focus on yourself.
Be careful, don't do anything stupid,
enjoy the marathon, see you later.
She's so competitive.
You could take your chances,
Monique, but...
I'm going to kick her ass.
That cow!
Run, old lady!
You're halfway through!
Get out of my way.
Want me to call you a cab?
Cow!
Hello. I've come to see
the apartment to rent.
Yes. I'll show you around.
It's on the second floor.
Mom! There's a playground
really close by.
-Oh, really?
-Who's this?
My roommate.
Her name's Jeanne,
my wonderful daughter.
No. The second-floor apartment
has already been rented out.
-Excuse me?
-Sorry.
Here she is! Here she is!
-Mom!
-Monique!
Right to the end!
Right to the end!
Mom, you did it!
You did it!
-You did it, Mom!
-Yes, sir!
-How are you?
-Better out than in!
There she is. I thought we'd have
to go find her at the morgue.
Mom...
Sylvie, you can say what you like,
I made it.
What I've just achieved is way more
impressive than your snide comments.
Monique, it was just a joke.
I knew that you could do it.
You made it just before
they started sweeping the street...
She pushed me.
She pushed me.
-She isn't as good as you.
-I know, I've got my medal.
I know.
So, in their age category,
Sylvie, first place.
-Bravo, Mom.
-Come here, love.
-That's...
-No, that...
So, Monique, Monique...
Ah! Monique Bernier! 36th.
-Out of 35.
-Who cares about the results!
Well done, Monique!
Yes, Monique!
Yes!
-Are you OK?
-Yes. Well done, Mom!
Good job!
Oh, wait. Look at this.
This has gone viral.
22,000 views.
Oh, crap...
Oh my God.
Sylvie?
She's getting out of a taxi!
-Is this a joke?
-Mom!
She took a cab!
Play it again! Play it again!
I want to see. I want to see.
You see? Look, the taxi arrives.
She's pouring water
over herself!
22,000 views!
-Babe?
-Come in.
It's the third one I've done
with two little bars.
But that means that...
Then you're... We're...
Are we happy about it?
I think we are.
-Shh!
-Yes, yes...
Oh my God. A baby.
Wait.
We're not telling anyone right away.
-No.
-I want this to be between you
-and me.
-Not a word about the kid.
-All right, you two?
-Yes.
Are you sure?
Karine's pregnant!
Yes, yes...
OK! Wait, wait...
I can't imagine being away
from the father of my child
while I'm pregnant,
and since he's stuck here,
can I come back and live at home,
too?
-Is that a serious question?
-Yes.
Of course!
-Armand.
-No.
That means "strong"
in Germanic.
I want something more modern.
Check if there's another one
for a boy.
-Or a girl.
-Yes, it might be a girl.
We don't know...
Finding an apartment
with a pre-pubescent kid
really is not easy.
Oh, Steph...
I'm a single parent,
not a leper.
Poor darling...
They don't have the right to refuse
for that reason.
I have nowhere to stay,
and with everything that's going on,
I don't know where to live.
Can I stay here?
Of course! Don't cry,
you're breaking my heart.
It must be the hormones,
because I'm pregnant.
-We'll go see the housing authority.
-Yes!
Because I'm pregnant.
And Patrick has
a really great lawyer.
And he's not expensive.
I'm pregnant!
Huh?
You, too?
-You, too?
-You, too?
Me, too!
Who's the father?
C'est qui, le père, le pépère
Qui a vu l'homme qui a vu l'ours
Who's your daddy, who's your baby?
Who's your buddy, who's your friend?
Who's your daddy, who's your baby?
Who's your buddy, who's your friend?
Come here.
It's not the best time to ask, but...
-We have to ask.
-We have to ask, indeed.
Both of our daughters
are pregnant at the same time.
And everyone is back home
together.
-We are so spoiled.
-Absolutely...
Mom, I've got nothing to wear.
I'm borrowing some pajamas.
Look, there's some...
Brains...
Just kidding.
Pete, tomorrow, I'm reserving
the shower for 8:00 a.m. OK?
Jeanne, bedtime.
-No, I'm not tired!
-Bed!
Mom!
Look in the drawer, there's some
in there.
-Mom!
-What?
-Do you have a softer pillow?
-In the office.
Steph, do you have
any spare pajamas?
-That's enough.
-Yep. Everyone out.
My God!
-They'll only be here a few months.
-Nine at the most.
At worst, a year.
By the grandkids' first communion,
they'll have to have left.
-Well, yes.
-Yes.
When is that,
the first communion?
-When they're seven or eight.
-Seven or eight.
I think.
-Ah, still.
-Yes.
Surprise attack!
Subtitling: Hiventy
Yes.
Shit. I am so sorry.
I swear, this was never
supposed to happen.
Please don't say anything else.
No, no, wait. Wait, wait...
I want you to know, everything
between us, it wasn't fake.
-It's actually thanks to you that...
-Oh, really?
You're thanking me for helping you
get back together with your ex?
Here.
Yes, I'm alone.
Wait, someone's at the door.
It might be him.
Maybe he forgot something...
-Hello.
-You idiot... You idiot!
So?
There's going to be an investigation
and then a trial.
Until then, I'm free, but there's
a list of rules I have to obey.
-You've been accused of concealment?
-Yes.
Apparently, I should've known
that three flat screens
cost more
than a bag of chips.
-You've never been great at numbers.
-Yes, that's true, but...
Speaking of last night,
are you going to...
I told him.
-OK. So...
-So, it's over.
OK!
Wait, I don't want you to think that
it had anything to do with you...
-No.
-It was because of a few things...
Yes!
No!
What happened yesterday
doesn't cancel out all the reasons
we're not together anymore.
-That's very clear!
-No, it's not clear.
-We can clarify everything in here.
-No. There's nothing to clarify.
-Everything is super clear.
-No! Patrick, no!
BOOMERANG
I don't think you're going
to work today.
What's going on?
Patrick was arrested last night.
Something about concealment,
apparently.
Concealment?
Concealment of what?
They took everything:
the dishwasher, the Italian
coffee machine, knives...
Knives?
Which knives?
Knives that looked like knives.
Pierre...
-Pierre, what's...
-No, no, no...
Pierre?
-Karine?
-Yes.
"45-year-old male, single,
looking to share his large
3.5 bed, all inclusive,
with sexy female,
not too demanding."
What kind of dating site is this?
It's not a dating site. It's for
finding somewhere to rent.
Huh?
Yep. I'm looking for an apartment.
But hang on, why would you want...
You'll see, this ointment
works miracles.
Oh, yeah?
Do you think I'm in good enough shape
to make it out alive?
Come on, you can't die
from a pulled muscle.
Hi, we're here!
Is that... That's Stéphanie.
-Enjoy the marathon.
-What are you doing?
What are you doing?
How's our poor Mom
with the broken leg?
We came to do
some housekeeping.
Are you OK?
You look weird.
No...
Say, were you just with another man?
He went out the patio door...
Saved himself!
Mom?
-Patrick?
-Just a second.
-Patrick!
-What, Pierre?
-Come here.
-I'm not comfortable being here.
I haven't sorted things out
with Karine. I don't want...
-No, it won't take long.
-What's up?
Listen, ask me what I was doing
between 11:05 and 11:22 p.m.
on the eighth?
What were you doing between 11:05
and 11:22 p.m. on the eighth?
-I was buying stolen knives.
-Huh?
I'm guilty of concealment, too.
Do you think we might
go to jail...
Pierre, I just saw the investigators.
They've got absolutely
no suspicions about you.
It's just a matter of time.
How are they going to find out it was
you who bought the knives?
As far as they're concerned, you're
just my little food truck helper.
Oh, that's real nice.
Anyway, if they ask me
any questions about the knives,
I'll take full responsibility.
No, but what about the trial!
You can't be sure you won't mess up.
Especially you.
My name might come up
without you even realizing!
-Pierre?
-Yes?
I'm going to plead guilty,
and that way there won't be
an investigation.
You'll be able to sleep soundly,
my man.
You would do that?
Even if I'm not
your father-in-law anymore?
No more of this father-in-law
or not business.
You're family to me,
and no one messes with my family.
That...
That's lovely, Patrick.
But what's going to happen
to your truck?
There are more important things
in life.
Ever since I got that truck,
my world turned upside down.
-I wouldn't say...
-Seriously, Pierre.
I was stuck marrying my best friend,
pretended to be gay for months,
then I lost the love of my life...
Fuck the truck!
Still, you were passionate about it.
I'm passionate about your daughter,
Pierre.
That I understand.
In fact, I'm glad to hear it.
But there was a time when we
were the big dogs.
We ruled the neighborhood.
PROUD OF HIS TRUCK!
OK, a nice big mouthful.
It looks good.
-Is it me or is that disgusting?
-It's very bad.
You can't replace olive oil
with balsamic vinegar.
You can't do that.
-I was running low on fat.
-But I slept here.
What an idiot... And you saw me do it
and didn't say anything!
No, no, no! It's important.
You have to find your place.
My place clearly isn't
in the kitchen.
Your place is everywhere,
except in the kitchen.
I'll try and sort this out.
Babe...
It's been a long time since
you called me that.
I'd like it if we got back together.
-Are you sure?
-Yes.
Because I'm ready. So ready.
I couldn't be more ready.
Wait, wait, wait...
-So, we're clear?
-We're clear.
Is that my cue?
This would go well
with your little blue skirt.
-Are you giving it to me?
-Yes.
Karine, that's for you.
You're going to need it.
I won't be needing it anymore.
I don't think your father
irons his shirts.
Mom, what are you doing?
Well, this...
this belonged
to your great-grandmother.
Just before she died,
she gave it to my mother,
who then passed it on to me.
So now...
Come on, Mom...
-What are you trying to tell us?
-What's going on?
-Mom...
-I'm going to run the marathon.
OK, you're messing with us?
I thought you had cancer.
It's worse!
Look, you're smart enough
to stop
if you feel like you can't finish it.
And have everyone who thinks I'm
too old
saying "I told you so"?
Huh? Huh?
No. No.
But you're anything but old.
You have more energy
than the two of us put together.
-Really?
-Oh, Mom...
-Don't do that again.
-You scared us.
Yes, I know, but...
Mr. Patrick Lussier, your actions
are very serious indeed.
This sentence is final
and effective immediately.
Shh! Shh! Steph.
His lawyer got him
three months' probation,
but he'll be under house arrest
the whole time.
That's the funniest part:
he'll have to stay
with Mom and Dad!
I'm coming home!
I swear, he'll be there every evening
from 10:00 p.m. to 6:00 a.m.
That's negotiable.
The judge wanted him to have
a stable environment.
Nothing more stable
than his in-laws.
Hell no!
It's fine.
It's only for three months.
Good luck with the viewing.
-Bye, Steph!
-Bye.
There's nothing that
can keep me away!
Just can't cut the cord,
can you?
My parents are lucky.
At least they'll get
to have you every evening.
I don't know if we can talk
about luck.
The judge wanted to punish you by
sending you to live with the in-laws,
but it's us
being punished.
-Let's check out the market.
-Yeah.
Yes!
Patrick, wait.
Don't expect me to come
and sleep with you every night.
No. Come on, babe.
I'll probably come for a little
conjugal visit every so often.
I hope so.
There's no way you're coming
to squat in my cell.
It's not that I don't love you.
I do.
I just don't want to have to follow
you out of obligation anymore.
-Yes.
-Yes.
I'm going to be there
at the tenth kilometer,
Karine will be at the 24th kilometer,
Patrick will be at the 35th.
Then all three of us are going
to meet at the finish line.
-How is our inmate?
-In top shape.
-And you, roadrunner?
-I'm super.
How's my favorite marathoner doing?
No, she looks like she's in shape.
No, she isn't on drugs.
Mom, forget about Monique.
Focus on yourself.
Be careful, don't do anything stupid,
enjoy the marathon, see you later.
She's so competitive.
You could take your chances,
Monique, but...
I'm going to kick her ass.
That cow!
Run, old lady!
You're halfway through!
Get out of my way.
Want me to call you a cab?
Cow!
Hello. I've come to see
the apartment to rent.
Yes. I'll show you around.
It's on the second floor.
Mom! There's a playground
really close by.
-Oh, really?
-Who's this?
My roommate.
Her name's Jeanne,
my wonderful daughter.
No. The second-floor apartment
has already been rented out.
-Excuse me?
-Sorry.
Here she is! Here she is!
-Mom!
-Monique!
Right to the end!
Right to the end!
Mom, you did it!
You did it!
-You did it, Mom!
-Yes, sir!
-How are you?
-Better out than in!
There she is. I thought we'd have
to go find her at the morgue.
Mom...
Sylvie, you can say what you like,
I made it.
What I've just achieved is way more
impressive than your snide comments.
Monique, it was just a joke.
I knew that you could do it.
You made it just before
they started sweeping the street...
She pushed me.
She pushed me.
-She isn't as good as you.
-I know, I've got my medal.
I know.
So, in their age category,
Sylvie, first place.
-Bravo, Mom.
-Come here, love.
-That's...
-No, that...
So, Monique, Monique...
Ah! Monique Bernier! 36th.
-Out of 35.
-Who cares about the results!
Well done, Monique!
Yes, Monique!
Yes!
-Are you OK?
-Yes. Well done, Mom!
Good job!
Oh, wait. Look at this.
This has gone viral.
22,000 views.
Oh, crap...
Oh my God.
Sylvie?
She's getting out of a taxi!
-Is this a joke?
-Mom!
She took a cab!
Play it again! Play it again!
I want to see. I want to see.
You see? Look, the taxi arrives.
She's pouring water
over herself!
22,000 views!
-Babe?
-Come in.
It's the third one I've done
with two little bars.
But that means that...
Then you're... We're...
Are we happy about it?
I think we are.
-Shh!
-Yes, yes...
Oh my God. A baby.
Wait.
We're not telling anyone right away.
-No.
-I want this to be between you
-and me.
-Not a word about the kid.
-All right, you two?
-Yes.
Are you sure?
Karine's pregnant!
Yes, yes...
OK! Wait, wait...
I can't imagine being away
from the father of my child
while I'm pregnant,
and since he's stuck here,
can I come back and live at home,
too?
-Is that a serious question?
-Yes.
Of course!
-Armand.
-No.
That means "strong"
in Germanic.
I want something more modern.
Check if there's another one
for a boy.
-Or a girl.
-Yes, it might be a girl.
We don't know...
Finding an apartment
with a pre-pubescent kid
really is not easy.
Oh, Steph...
I'm a single parent,
not a leper.
Poor darling...
They don't have the right to refuse
for that reason.
I have nowhere to stay,
and with everything that's going on,
I don't know where to live.
Can I stay here?
Of course! Don't cry,
you're breaking my heart.
It must be the hormones,
because I'm pregnant.
-We'll go see the housing authority.
-Yes!
Because I'm pregnant.
And Patrick has
a really great lawyer.
And he's not expensive.
I'm pregnant!
Huh?
You, too?
-You, too?
-You, too?
Me, too!
Who's the father?
C'est qui, le père, le pépère
Qui a vu l'homme qui a vu l'ours
Who's your daddy, who's your baby?
Who's your buddy, who's your friend?
Who's your daddy, who's your baby?
Who's your buddy, who's your friend?
Come here.
It's not the best time to ask, but...
-We have to ask.
-We have to ask, indeed.
Both of our daughters
are pregnant at the same time.
And everyone is back home
together.
-We are so spoiled.
-Absolutely...
Mom, I've got nothing to wear.
I'm borrowing some pajamas.
Look, there's some...
Brains...
Just kidding.
Pete, tomorrow, I'm reserving
the shower for 8:00 a.m. OK?
Jeanne, bedtime.
-No, I'm not tired!
-Bed!
Mom!
Look in the drawer, there's some
in there.
-Mom!
-What?
-Do you have a softer pillow?
-In the office.
Steph, do you have
any spare pajamas?
-That's enough.
-Yep. Everyone out.
My God!
-They'll only be here a few months.
-Nine at the most.
At worst, a year.
By the grandkids' first communion,
they'll have to have left.
-Well, yes.
-Yes.
When is that,
the first communion?
-When they're seven or eight.
-Seven or eight.
I think.
-Ah, still.
-Yes.
Surprise attack!
Subtitling: Hiventy