Boomerang (2015–2019): Season 1, Episode 4 - Matin Métal - full transcript

Not every bloody morning...

Why d'you think I left home
when I was 17?

You gotta talk to her.

What, tell her
to stop exercising in her own home?

I'll take her cross trainer
up to her office.

I suggested that.

But it wakes Dad up:
it's next to their room.

I can't bear it.
I need my beauty sleep.

Now we're awake,
we may as well have breakfast.

- I'll make you a coffee.
- I don't want to.

Your mum's too bright in the morning.
She talks too much.



I know a remedy

that helps you
put up with mothers-in-law.

Oh yeah?

Oh yeah...

Normally, it's only
married people who do it,

but seeing as I feel sorry for you...

I really need consoling.

You're awake?

Good God!

I'm just getting shampoo.

- We were talking.
- Not touching!

On the A10, Montreal direction,

there's traffic
from the toll onwards.

A small accident
has made the traffic quite slow.



Fortunately, no one's injured.

The vehicles involved
were moved 10 minutes ago.

Motorists are now going
via Victoria Bridge.

Sleep well?

Yes, yes...

Health in a glass.

Banana, mango,
soya milk and flaxseed.

- Good for the gut.
- Thanks, Monique.

You should go to bed earlier.

You look like a zombie.
You can't job-hunt like that.

Can you ring the plumber, dear?

The taps are noisy. It must bother
the youngsters in the morning.

- Yes, dear.
- Ah yes!

My friend's son's phone number:

a video game genius.

Little brat'll be rich by 28.

He's looking for a receptionist.
Call him early.

Bless!
I wouldn't want to be your age!

OK. Bye.

Bye.

I don't know how you do it.

Years of practice.

She's nearly 60,
but you'd think she was 40.

She has lots of plans
and knows what she wants.

If you say no, does she shrink away?

No.
She keeps asking till you say yes!

Some call that harassment.

Her bloody smoothie
has given me energy.

Know what my mum
has always told my sis and me?

Don't ask me hard questions.

She says:
"Success is all about attitude."

What's our attitude like?

Rubbish!

Know what?
That ends today.

I, Karine Bernier,
daughter of Monique Bernier,

I tell you
that we will get jobs this week!

There's other factors involved.

I'll make it interesting.

If you find a job by Friday,

you get 1 hour with me,

naked,

and the fantasy of your choice.

Oh yeah?

And if you get a job?

I'll remove
the blackheads on your back.

You're on!

Yes! Gone are the losers!

Today, we take charge of our destiny!

Go, go, go! Pump it, Pat!

You dick!

Wake up, Cinderella.
This ain't palliative care!

I can't sleep.
My mother-in-law's on ecstasy.

No, man. Don't go there!

Believe me, Monique in the morning
is like a happy crackhead.

And she's influencing Karine.

I've gotta find a job
by the weekend.

If I don't sleep, I can't perform.

I had an interview
for a sous-chef job.

I had to wait
for the chef to get off the phone

and he found me asleep

with drool down my front.

I didn't get the job.

Want me to plait your hair,

make cupcakes
and watch Love Actually?

You're meant to be supportive...

No. You already let your girl
mess with your head!

- But...
- No!

If I wanna hear whining,
I get a girl!

If you're hurting, sob to Karine.
If you're jobless,

come and see me!

Can you get me a job?

If it shuts you up, then yes.

Good!

Can you do sushi?

Alright.

I worked at Marshall and Lord
for a year

as a receptionist
and I answered the phone...

Excuse me.
Can you start tomorrow?

Yes. Of course!

Don't you...

want to read my CV?

No. No need.

We've only been talking
for 2 minutes. But...

I need a girl
who can answer the phone.

Well... I can certainly do that.

Yes,
but I need someone reliable.

I'm very reliable.

Have you had problems
with receptionists?

Look,

as you can see, my company is young.

I'm a young entrepreneur,
I make video games for youngsters.

Like everyone, I wanted a cute chick,

but they're not reliable.

They don't turn up

if they were out late,
or had a row with their boyfriend.

This time
I want a girl like you:

more mature, very sensible,

in her fifties,

and, I dunno...

Your interview didn't work out?

Me and my big gob...

I bet Patrick
I'd have a job by Friday.

Hurry up.
I got Pat a job. Starts tomorrow.

Oh no, shit...
I mean, hooray!

Shit for my bet.

Hey, I spoke
to an old girlfriend yesterday.

She's after an assistant.

I'd love to assist.
When can I meet her?

I'll give you her number.

Couldn't afford champagne

but there's bubbles in the beer.

Here's to you, sushi chef!
It's great, baby!

Nice place, good pay.
5 nights a week.

That was an easy bet to win!

Go, go, go!

Clothes off!

No! Get off my boobies!

Stop it, Patrick!

Come on, Ginette. Give it up.

Hey! I've got until Friday. Friday.

Friday.

Let's drink.

Where's the restaurant?

In Montreal, in the city.

A sushi restaurant.

I've not had your sushi for ages.

We'll have some soon.

I'll have to get my hand in first.

Baby, I'm your No.1 fan.

No need to be nervous with me.

I'll bring some sushi home, then.

No need to come over.
Your interview?

Didn't work out,
but I've another tomorrow.

By Friday, we'll both have a job.

In a month, a flat.

Debts paid in a year.

- In 2 years, a restaurant.
- Don't push it.

A baby in 2 years?

Oh yes!

In 2 years, a lovely little Lesley.

Lesbian? You're joking!

Not "lesbian", Lesley!
It's an old Gaelic name.

Lesley Lussier?

You're pushing it now,
Karine.

Gertrude, then?

To your job,
the future, us.

To Gertrude!

And Ginette.

I'm like Suzie Lambert.

No, Ginette.

- No.
- You are so.

Oh, nursie...

Yet again,

they're putting fuel prices up
just before the holidays.

What a coincidence!

Litchi, mango,
coconut milk, lime, blueberry!

How's your gut?

Please don't talk about my bowels

in front of my man
at 5.30am!

First day at work
for our great sushi chef!

How d'you feel?

Nothing at the moment,
but I'll be in a good mood.

Why don't we go
to his restaurant?

No!

Don't bother.

I'll bring sushi home for everyone.

It'll be nice to go out.
Where is it?

It'll be full.

You have to book in advance.

What if I say
I'm the chef's mother-in-law?

Me shagging Karine
won't get you in!

Patrick, stop.

Young man,
you're digging your own grave.

You'd best remember

who pays for your rent,
food and mobile phones

before you say more.

They're encouraging you.

Pity they didn't
when we struggled at the restaurant.

- Calm down, Pat.
- I'm very calm!

I can't get upset

because I'm too tired:

Manic Monique runs a marathon at 3am
every morning right next to my ears!

He chose to carry on talking.

Does my morning routine
upset your lifestyle?

No, of course not!

Well... a little bit.

But, in a good way, Monique.

Let's get this right,

I upset you in the morning
in my house

when I exercise to keep fit?

My blender

is too loud for you when
I make a smoothie for your breakfast?

Mother-in-law,

you don't bother me.

You're just upbeat
in the morning.

You find it hard,
Monique's good mood in the morning?

Wait till you see her
in a bad mood.

Without a purpose.

- No.
- Not...

Oh no.

My experience may look bitty,

but I prefer
to call my work history eclectic.

Don't worry,
your references are great.

Sylvain is a flatterer.

I know, but I wasn't talking
about that reference.

Pat only knows good folk.

You know my...

You know Pat?

I thought you'd recognize my name?

Sonia Blanch...

- Yes.
- Sonia B...

Oh! You're Patrick's ex?

- Yes.
- Sorry.

Sylvain didn't tell me
who my interviewer was.

We've never met.
You couldn't have recognized me.

And you still wanted to interview me?

Pat and I are ancient history.

It had been going downhill
for ages.

He was bound to find someone.

I bet you found another guy easily.

You're kind,
but not yet, no.

Pat's hard to replace.

Well, it's really generous of you
to give me a chance.

Thank you.

I don't hold grudges.

Are you guys happy?

Well, not every day's a party,

but yes, we're happy.

Our 4th anniversary's coming up.

"4th anniversary"?

In a year's time.

Yes, that's it.

We've only been together
3 years 6 months.

"6 months"?

Er... not 6 months. It's...

Wait. Me and dates!

- We met in June.
- "In June"?

No, not June. August.

No...

My dog died: I've gotta go.

Fucking spineless,
cowardly, shitty Lussier bastard!

A shit!

"I love you like a sister, Sonia."
I said:

"Is there someone else?"

"No, I swear.
I'd never do such a thing"!

And there's me
looking into couples' therapy

while he screws the 1st dumb blonde

that comes his way!

You great big moron,
couldn't you have said

your old friend
was Patrick's ex?

I thought it'd make you feel uneasy
if I told you.

No go?

I'll take that as a "no".

I've been offered 3 jobs

and I've managed to get
none of them.

I'm starting to wonder

if I'm dumb,
thick or stupid.

All 3, for sure.

The atmosphere is Siberian
at my parents'.

I'll just curl up
into a ball on a carpet.

Mi casa es su casa.

Anything I can do?

You've done enough.
You got Pat a job.

We just met my pals, is all.

I was surprised you were OK with it.

"OK"?

I wonder if your pal

might have a job for me too.

They always need girls,
but I don't think it's your thing.

If there's a wage, it's my thing.

I'll talk to him.

Your weight?

Excuse me?

They don't take girls over 52 kg.

I get the feeling I've said too much.

My training went really well...

Karine's not back yet...

She didn't say
what time she'd be back?

That answers my 3rd question:
are you still angry, Monique?

- Baby...
- We need to talk!

- What?
- Shut up!

- You said we needed to talk.
- Give him hell!

There was a time
when I felt at home here.

Forget to tell me
about your new job, did you?

I said it was a sushi restaurant,

a popular one.

Any other specific details?

What else is there?

Ah, you mean...

I mean naked women
being used as plates!

Not "naked", in G-strings.

You work in a macho place

that reduces women
to the status of a dish!

I was thinking about the salary.
The social aspect...

You're not cooking
for pigs who eat off nude girls!

It's a job.

They choose to apply.
They're paid!

What if our Gertrude did that?

Leave Gertrude out of it!

What's wrong?

Well, it's sexist!

No. Truth is, you're jealous!

I'm not jealous!

- No?
- No.

I'm outraged, as a woman, a girl...

- Jealous.
- As a restaurateur.

Jealous!

- OK.
- OK?

OK. Yes.

Watch this.

What now?

Sylvain Lafleur.

- You OK to talk?
- Sure.

Is the sushi restaurant job
still going?

Karine...

Sure.
You wanna be a waitress?

No, a sushi plate.
I want to start at the top!

OK.

Stop it.

Starting when?

- Tomorrow.
- Gimme it.

- No.
- Yes!

No! What's up?

It's a job.

Forget it.
She's joking.

Stop it. She'll be great.

She's joking.

Come on, Pat...

Don't ring your pal!

You're a pain!

Bye.

I'll resign. Happy?

- Very.
- It's 900 dollars a week.

How much?

Strange choice,
putting the tomato garnish

under the spuds.

Hello?

How was your interview, Karine?

As usual:
"Don't call us, we'll call you."

At least Patrick's found a job.

But I...

Well, no.
In the end, he had to...

resign.

It's a long story.

Karine.

Forget to mention
your interview, did you?

Oh yes! Would you believe
that the interviewer...

- this'll make you laugh -

was your ex.

Inadvertently, I said
we were together 8 months before...

you left her.

Eat shit!

Yes... No... Pat!

Shithead!

I'm really well.

Thanks for asking.

Eh?

Nothing's perfect, of course.

But... It should work out.

What time's the cold war over?

Because you're not sulking?
A real Mary Poppins!

I'm trying to open a dialogue.

Dialogue upsets folk
who are sensitive in the morning.

Monique, I've tried
to apologize 20 times now!

You don't accept my apologies!

You're just in a huff
because I'm in a huff!

Coffee?

Fuck, Pierre!
Too much information!

Pierre, what're you doing?

If you don't mind
subjecting me to your arguments

for a week,

why should I care about what I do?

Coffee, dear?

- My God!
- Pierre, the kids!

I'll get dressed
once you've settled your disputes!

Want a hot coffee, Karine?

Accept his apology, would you!

Apology accepted!

Sorry about the job.

Sorry I talked too much.

OK. Everyone forgives everyone.
Dad, get dressed!

Are you sure?

Oh my God!
My sex life is ruined!

Ah, a nice, peaceful breakfast.

We'll be done by midday.

It'd be great
if we knocked that wall down.

A reading corner, bookshelves...

Ah yes... A double room.

Subtitles: Eclair Media