Bones (2005–2017): Season 9, Episode 5 - The Lady on the List - full transcript
A man's body is found off a mountain cliff. He was a teacher who had terminal cancer and was trying to fulfill the items on his bucket list before he died. His friend helped him a bit too much. Booth and Brennan plan their wedding.
When are
we gonna tell everybody
about our wedding?
Oh, we're not.
Not till we make
all the plans, okay?
Whoa-ho!
All right.
Oh, this guy is
all chewed up.
Torn, actually.
Missing phalanges, bone
fragments from the skull.
Probably a hawk
fed on him.
Don't you want to discuss it
with our friends, Booth?
Oh, really? I mean, you really
want to get everyone's opinion
on what they think
our wedding should be like?
What, "You can't
have pigs in a blanket," huh?
"No, no, you know what,
you should have
"radishes that are
shaped like hummingbirds
and wear dandelion hats."
I've never even
seen those things.
They exist.
Based on decomp,
I'd estimate
he's been here for
approximately three days.
But Cam should probably
make that determination.
We can wait for her
to get a definitive...
No, no, no.
We're not...
I've been dangling here
for long enough, all right?
Things are... you know,
they're starting to pinch.
Listen, Bones, all I'm saying,
that this is...
Look, we've been
waiting a long time
for this day,
for our wedding, all right?
I just want this
to be our day. Don't you?
But we'll invite
everybody, won't we?
Of course.
Of course we are.
You always say
that you know best.
Based on the
palatine suture,
the width of the
ascending ramus
and the sternal
rib ends,
the victim was a Caucasian
male in his early 50s.
I do dislike it
when other people
tell me what to do.
See? Now there's the Bones
that I love, all right?
We're gonna have
a great wedding.
Whoo... all right.
What are you doing?
Aw...
That's right.
Or whatever it's gonna be.
Okay.
But... pigs
in a blanket?
Yeah. Pigs in a blanket.
It's God's perfect food.
That might be
a point of contention.
Come on.
This looks like
an accident.
Oh, no.
No one out of shape
in their 50s, goes
rock climbing alone.
This was a murder.
You're making an
assumption, Booth.
What?
Well, I'm that guy.
I'm that gut guy, okay?
I assume things.
That's what I do.
Whoa!
Then I'm going
to need to take
the hawk back to
the lab, too.
Is he eating a finger?
Yes. He seems to be enjoying it.
We'll need
Animal Control.
No, we need to get
pulled up.
Hey! Can we
get the hawk?
Trust me, you're gonna like
pigs in a blanket.
So I'm compiling character
traits of rock climbers
and their psychosocial...
Great.
You don't want to hear?
Oh, I get it.
Psycho socials...
they're like dances,
uh, you know,
in a loony bin.
I got it, right?
Come on in.
Shut the door, will you?
Just... will you
shut the door for a second?
What's going on?
Thanks.
I just want to...
want you to...
just keep an open mind
about something here.
About what?
Is this about the wedding?
'Cause if you want
to parachute from a plane or something,
No.
I'm down. I'll do it.
No one's parachuting
from a-a plane.
Thank God.
You know, I actually
have an awesome idea for a wedding.
Sweets.
It's not about,
um, the wedding.
It's about VAL.
Who's that?
No. No. No.
Because my last blind date
was a disaster, all right?
She threw her drink
my ce because
she didn't know what "masticate" meant.
This isn't a...
It means to chew.
Sweets, just pay attention, okay?
she didn't know what "masticate" meant.
I'd like to introduce you to...
...VAL.
Okay?
It's a Virtual something...
Adumbrative.
Yes!
That's the word.
It's an artificial
profiling system.
Right. You know...
So everything I get
from the case,
I got to input it into here
and so do the squints, so...
Wow.
They want to compare me
to a computer.
I can't be replaced
by a video game.
Listen, I had to... I just
felt like I had to tell you.
Right? Because you're...
you know... so I did.
But if you tell anyone,
I'm gonna have to kill you.
No, I understand.
This is not
a problem, it's...
it's a joke, is what...
I-I agree.
It's a complete joke.
Yeah.
To me, it's like that Russian guy
who played the computer
in chess.
It doesn't work.
Exactly.
Kasparov lost to
the computer, but...
it's not a... it's not
a good comparison.
Oh.
What a beautiful bird.
I know, right?
And look how much
he's regurgitated.
Excuse me?
Yeah.
See, hawks, they don't
have teeth, right?
So they got to tear
and swallow clothes,
flesh and bone whole,
and then they regurgitate
what they can't,
you know, digest.
This guy is full
of evidence.
I mean, look at this.
Honey, when you're
showing me puke,
don't smile like that.
It's called rangle.
See, when the stomach
contents come up,
they're this hard, congealed...
Okay. I get it.
I'm starting to feel like
I'm gonna rangle.
Come on, buddy.
Have you examined
these X-rays, Dr. Wells?
Of course.
I took them.
Lack of extensions along
the edges of the phalanges
where the flexor
sheath attaches
and an absence of
remodeled stress
or other fractures in
the wrists and metacarpals
indicate someone who has not
been rock climbing before.
You shouldn't be reading,
Dr. Wells.
I'm sorry. Was I wrong?
That's beside the point.
You're here to work, not read.
Based on decomp
and the desiccation
of the tissue,
I'd estimate time of death at...
Three days.
Excuse me?
Three days.
I factored in ambient
temperature at the scene,
rainfall, the feeding
of the carrion...
I-I'm sorry, but if you
were gonna say anything
other than three days,
you'd be wrong.
Now, can I just
finish my page?
No.
Oh, my God.
Why am I never prepared
for what I see here?
Alfred Adler would say that a
repression of visual stimuli...
Why is he back?
He's brilliant.
Is that why he's reading
Mindy Kaling's book?
I'm a polymath.
I can learn from anything.
How long will it take you
to do a facial
reconstruction?
Uh, damaged skull and
the dried tissue...
The sooner
the better, really,
because this dude was
definitely murdered.
I think it's a little bit early
to make that statement,
Dr. Wells.
Perhaps not.
The facial injuries
indicate that the victim
struck the cliff face first.
As if he were thrown off
the edge of the cliff,
as Booth assumed.
Well, then there's also
hemorrhagic staining to
the wound around the parietal,
which means
it occurred perimortem.
So the wound to the parietal
was cause of death.
Yes. The victim was
bludgeoned to death
before going over
the side of that cliff.
Now...
can I finish my page?
I'll take that as a "yes."
* Bones 9x05 *
The Lady on the List
Original Air Date on October 14, 2013
* Main Title Theme * The Crystal Method
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
I disagree.
I'm just telling you
what VAL says.
And how exactly does VAL
tell you these things?
Oh, well, if I'm not in my
office, you know, she texts me.
Look at that.
"Perpetrator is
an experienced rock climber."
I disagree.
So does the Jeffersonian.
Noted, Sweets.
Okay? Just relax.
Okay, can we please stop
calling it "her" and "she"?
I mean...
Yeah.
So why don't you think
the murderer is a climber?
No, I don't think that the
killer isn't a climber,
I just think it's
crazy to say that
he's an experienced
rock climber.
There's a difference.
Okay.
You're agreeing with me,
which, you know...
which is good.
I like it.
So, our victim is
an amateur,
he's vulnerable in
dangerous situations.
He goes climbing with
someone who bashes him.
While he's suiting up,
or whatever they call it.
Good enough. And then
he tosses him over the edge
and makes it
look like an accident.
Did VAL tell you that?
I don't think so.
The victim exhibited bilateral
intercondylar fractures
to the distal ends
of the femurs.
Interesting, Dr. Wells, but
irrelevant for cause of death.
Well, seeing as
how it occurred
four months before the
victim died, I get it.
Keep your shirt on.
Dr. Wells,
you are an intern.
Please treat Dr. Brennan
with the respect she's due.
Well, I thought
this was a meritocracy.
It is.
Then that was
the respect she's due.
No, no, it wasn't.
And since she's your...
Don't say "superior."
...boss.
But I will say
"superior" if I want,
because I am also
your superior.
Do you understand?
So, Dr. Brennan,
have you set a date yet?
For the wedding.
Oh, we aren't adjusting
for anyone's schedule.
If you have a conflict
and would like to attend,
you'll have to rearrange
your schedule.
Okay.
That's a warm invitation.
Concise,
to the point.
Well said. Bravo.
Thank you.
I took a slide
from the victim's liver,
and as you can see...
Cancerous.
Quite advanced.
Our victim was terminal.
Could you please see
if Angela has...
Made any progress
on identifying the victim. Yes.
Must you interrupt?
I'm just trying to use
our time efficiently.
Well, it doesn't make you
any more likeable.
Is likability important?
Right now, I'm gonna
go with "yes."
How can you do
a facial reconstruction
without any tissue markers?
Well, I'm extrapolating
the missing fragments
based on
the general characteristics
of a Caucasian skull.
Now I'm gonna run this
against the DMV database
and see what
we come up with.
The use of
a generic skull
is gonna result
in far too many hits.
You don't have
many friends, do you?
No, I don't.
None, really.
Hmm. That's a shocker.
This is a waste
of time.
Wow, look at that.
One match. Who knew?
I suppose you think
your little ding
taught me a lesson.
Did it?
Yes.
Never discount
random luck.
Having terminal cancer...
it's not good.
"Terminal" means end point.
The end. Death.
And you know what?
Life is better than death.
That's deep.
I don't think so.
But impending death
bestows a gift
I did not see coming.
Clarity.
That's so true.
Knowing the end is near
lends a bittersweet urgency
to every breath, every moment.
And you know what else?
Fear evaporates.
This is our victim?
That's him.
Charlie McCord.
There you go.
Take a good look.
High school principal,
married, two kids.
What is this video?
Well, you know,
when he found out
that he was gonna die,
he made all these videos,
he created this Web site
where you can buy them;
they're incredibly popular.
It's not uncommon for people
to ascribe special wisdom
to those who are
facing death.
That's because
they have special wisdom.
Watch, watch.
And fear is what stands
between us and fulfillment.
Once fear is gone,
life opens up
to all its grandeur.
All things are possible.
This guy's deep.
Why do you need
our victim's ear canal?
Oh, yes.
I want to analyze
the cerumen.
The earwax?
It's less icky
if I call it cerumen.
Look at this.
It builds up like sediment.
You can track his recent
activities through earwax?
Cerumen.
And even though
he snacks on dead humans,
he's not a buzzard.
He's a hawk, Cam.
Hey, he's a hawk.
Hey, labels are important,
you know?
'Cause words can hurt.
I can't believe Charlie's dead.
When was the last time
you saw your husband?
Four days ago.
Can you think of anyone
who'd want to hurt your husband?
Uh, no.
I-I mean,
there were some comments
underneath his videos
that were pretty mean.
People who said
that he was stupid,
or that he was
faking his illness
to make money, but...
You found Charlie
climbing a cliff?
Is that strange?
Well, he was afraid of heights.
"Well, when fear is gone,
life opens up all its grandeur."
You've seen one of his videos.
Yeah, well, he was a wise man.
He was hoping maybe
someone would see them
and pay us
for the rights to write a book.
Turns out,
people are willing
to buy them
the way they are.
It's typical.
Charlie's dying,
and he's worrying
about me and the kids.
I'm sorry, wasn't he in pain?
Constantly.
The autopsy didn't show
any narcotics in his system.
Charlie wanted to put off drugs
for as long as he could.
He would only take
homeopathic medicine.
He was a wonderful man.
Anyone who knew him
would tell you
that he was special.
I recovered several videos
from the victim's cell phone,
one of which you'll find
extremely interesting.
One of his "live
life to the fullest
'cause life is
too short" videos?
Uh, not exactly.
This was time-stamped
five days before
the murder.
Hey, Chuck, Chuck.
Hey, man, big fan.
What?
Obviously, somebody took
this video.
Wow, that hurt.
Pull over!
Hey, pull over!
He's mad.
That was
incredibly cowardly.
Well...
Come on, Angela,
how much courage does it take
to sucker punch someone?
A lot when it's this guy.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this is Chuck
"The Iceman" Liddell.
He's a mixed martial arts
world champion.
So, Charlie McCord slugged
the toughest man in the world?
Yeah.
And revenge is sort of
the Iceman's thing.
Pull over!
Hey, pull over!
He's mad.
Yeah, that's me.
So what?
Getting punched in the face
a crime now?
No, murder was the crime.
This guy was murdered
four days ago.
You think I did it?
Look at you, huh?
Looks like you're mad enough.
People come up to me
all the time.
Sign an autograph,
take a picture with them.
I don't get punched
in the face for it.
So you're saying
you never saw him before?
Not till Charlie
threw the punch.
Wait, then how do you know
his name?
He called me after.
Apparently,
I was on his bucket list...
you know, a list of stuff
you want to do before you die?
So let me get this straight.
Uh, "punch the Iceman"
was on his bucket list?
Yeah, I was kind of flattered
when I heard.
He's a nice guy.
Really sorry to hear
what happened.
Uh, let me know
if there's anything I can do.
There's evidence that the finger
was treated after he
slugged the Iceman.
That's the least
of his worries.
He only had six weeks
to live.
There are so many variables
to an assessment like that
that it is practically guessing.
But if McCord was told
he only had six weeks,
that would explain
his risk-taking.
Would it not,
Dr. Know-it-all?
I will concede that.
That's mighty big of you.
What's this?
I was thinking about
the victim's bucket list,
so I made one for you.
'Cause we all
need one, right?
"Number one, don't be a douche.
"Number two, really,
"don't be a douche.
"Number three, work and
play well with others
so I'm not perceived
as a douche."
Do I have to read all ten?
Probably not.
You think it's easy
being superior?
It's a curse, I assure you.
Mostly for us.
There must be a heart in
there someplace, Oliver.
I'm just trying to
help; it's tough love.
It's misguided,
but I understand.
I don't even think
he had six weeks.
Look at this.
The cancer was spreading
to his bones.
Look at the marrow;
see how porous it is?
Yeah, he was never
gonna finish his list.
Poor guy.
Murdered before he had
a chance to die.
Sad.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, we all want
a little more time, don't we?
To fix things, to go out with
our ducks in a row.
Check his medical records,
see if you can
find out who treated his finger.
Maybe that will lead to
who shot the cell phone video.
Okay.
Computer profiling
is absurd, okay?
Psychology takes, um, subtlety
and a subjective analysis.
Subjective?
Yeah.
Well, that's the problem.
A computer program with
advanced analytical algorithms
would not be subjective;
it would skirt
the pitfalls of Heisenberg's
uncertainty principle.
So you're saying
after all we've been through,
you think a computer
would be better than me?
Theoretically, yes.
Hey, how's it going?
How's it going?
I'll tell you how it's going.
Dr. Brennan would rather
work with a computer than me.
But as a lunch companion,
I certainly prefer you.
You know what,
that's high praise, Sweets.
Anyhow, VAL says
that the bucket list
shows that the victim was...
uh, let's see, it says here...
"vulnerable because
of his illness.
"The guise of him as a
sincerely good man is a mask
to hide his anger
and hostility."
That's stupid.
That's lame psycho-babble.
Stupid. I hope they didn't
spend too much on that program.
I heard three million.
- What?
- Three million dollars?
I...
And they can't give me a raise.
You know, I'm seriously
like Call of Duty,
and-and that thing is like
Elf Bowling.
All right,
show me what you got
there, Mr. Call of Duty.
I've analyzed Charlie's videos;
he's a genuinely good man.
The essence of a bucket list
isn't vulnerability.
It's rooted
in the simple human desire
to realize one's potential
before death.
I buy that.
You know what,
computer zero, Sweets one.
Good work, you're back.
Thank you.
VAL is a moron, all right?
Everyone has some kind
of a bucket list.
I don't have a list, per se.
Well, winning the
Nobel, of course,
but that's more
of an eventuality than a dream.
I've got, like,
a million things on my list.
Really?
If you could pick one?
All right, um, you know the guy
who did the free-fall
from space?
ah.
Yeah.
I'd like to buy him a drink.
That...
That's...
Okay.
Brennan.
Hi, Angela.
You don't want to free-fall?
Yes.
Who? All right.
Yes, Booth is here;
I'll tell him.
Angela got
the victim's medical records.
His wife wasn't listed
as the emergency contact
for any of
his hospital stays.
It was a man
named Martin Proctor.
So the victim
might not have trusted
his wife as much as we thought.
Are you busy?
Hey.
Is something wrong?
Wrong? No, I don't think so.
Is there?
I-I don't know.
You seem like you want to talk.
I do.
Is that wrong?
No, I...
Forget it.
No, I-I'm not busy, no.
Good.
You remember that I'm going
to marry Booth?
I vaguely recollect that, yeah.
Oh, no.
He didn't call it off again,
did he?
Because I can do
physical harm.
No, no.
We've just decided
that we don't want anyone else
to help us plan our wedding.
Oh.
Guests will be that, just guests.
And if they don't like
pigs in blankets,
they may have to bring
their own snacks.
Booth and I haven't figured out
all the details yet.
I don't care how
or where you do it, sweetie.
I got married in a jail cell,
for God's sake.
Booth is a good man, Angela.
He didn't want to hurt me.
It was Pelant who kept us apart.
Until he was gone,
Booth's hands were tied.
Yeah, I should've
trusted him, huh?
Yes.
But it was hard
for me, too, at the time.
Well, listen,
whatever you two decide,
I'm sure it's gonna be perfect.
I'm not gonna
say another word.
That will make Booth very happy.
Listen, I was hoping to help
with the dress, though.
I just don't want
you ending up
in a grass skirt
and a headdress.
And that will make me
very happy.
And isn't that
what a matron of honor
is supposed to do?
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
It's "maid of honor."
Well, technically,
you're married, so it's matron.
Usually, we'd expect to see
his wife listed
as the emergency contact.
Charlie couldn't do that.
He didn't want his wife
to worry.
You were helping him
with his bucket list.
Was. It was
getting too crazy.
I told him if he was
gonna kill himself,
I wouldn't be a part of it.
What was your relationship
with Charlie?
I blew my shoulder out
pitching when I was
a student here.
Torn rotator cuff.
A couple years ago,
before Charlie got sick,
he got me a job in
the IT department.
Then he set me up as coach
of the baseball team, too.
Oh, wow, so he was like
a father figure to you.
Yeah.
And you helped him
video his lectures?
Edit them, too.
Charlie and I...
we were tight.
Even working on this
charity together,
Quarters for Care.
Where were you four days ago?
Uh, what are you...
what are you saying?
Nothing, just doing my job.
Yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
Uh, four days ago...
Batting practice in the morning,
and then went to a movie
at Wheaton Plaza.
I think I still have
the ticket stub.
Charlie always said
I was too fussy.
It's okay, but do you have
a copy of his bucket list?
Um...
Charlie didn't want Linda
to see the list.
There are only two left:
"go rock climbing
and make Lena whole."
Okay, um, who's Lena?
Lena Silver.
She was a bookkeeper
for the school.
Charlie caught her cheating,
turned her in; she
wound up going to jail.
Charlie felt pretty bad
about it,
so he was tracking her down.
You think she wanted revenge?
She always seemed nice.
But she lost everything
when she went to jail.
Even her kids.
Oh, come on.
You have VAL, too?
I'm not supposed to tell you.
Yeah, no, neither was Booth.
Thanks.
So, what you should
be hearing
is that we prefer you
to Optimus Prime here.
Who says...
Oh, VAL told you something, huh?
According to VAL,
someone named Lena Silver
is our prime suspect,
with an 86% chance
she committed the murder.
Do you even know
who that is?
Yeah. Lena Silver was
the bookkeeper
for the victim's school.
He reported her for
embezzling $6,000,
she lost her job,
went to jail, lost her kids.
Went to jail for six grand?
Yeah.
Ensuing investigations uncovered
other thefts, so...
Sounds like a motive.
Could you be 86% certain
without any proof?
No.
No.
VAL is, huh?
No one's even talked
to the woman yet.
I hate VAL.
She is stupid.
I hate her.
"It."
You hate "it."
You might as well hate
a transistor radio.
We're all on
your side, Sweets.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Um, should you
be doing that?
Well, I figure if I
hurry up and feed him,
maybe he'll hurry up and rangle
the last bit of evidence.
Hey, I got results
from Charlie's ears.
So, cerumen, right,
it accumulates at a rate
of .01 millimeters per day.
Now, this...
Ooh, no, nope.
Sorry, not that.
Your bucket list?
Yeah, yeah,
I got inspired.
I got to check out Area 51,
you know?
I mean, the real one,
not the fake one
they pawn off
on tourists.
Can't die without that.
Earwax?
Right.
Yuck.
All that was in his ear?
Mm-hmm. .02 millimeters in,
I found acetylene black,
polyisoprene, halobutyl,
sulfide,
nylon, copper, sulphur
and steel particulates.
Okay, so sulphur,
copper sulfide...
sounds like he was sleeping
with a chemistry set.
Tires.
Tires?
Pyrolysis.
Pyrolysis is
the thermochemical
decomposition of materials
in the absence of oxygen.
He was at
a tire recycling facility?
Yep. And based on the depth
of the chemicals
in the cerumen,
two days before he died.
Angie could only find one
in the tri-state area.
"Riley's Tire Depot."
Mm-hmm.
They have absolutely no
record of Charlie buying,
selling or dropping off tires
in the last couple weeks.
I'll tell Booth.
Did I see that you wanted
to be shot out of a cannon?
You don't?
But first,
I want to leap
from the top of the Jungfrau
wearing one of those
Rocky the Flying Squirrel suits,
you know?
Of course you do.
Hey, but that's
just the tip of
the iceberg, you know?
What about you?
Oh, I...
just want a villa in Tuscany
where I can drink wine
and make love.
That's it?
Lot of wine and a lot of love.
And not seeing a bird barf.
Ooh, rangle time.
I can cross this off my list.
I was able to reconstruct
the skull
with fragments
that the bird barfed up.
The fracture
to the parietal
would have caused
the dura mater to be torn.
Very good, Dr. Brennan.
I say "very good," Dr. Wells.
Not you.
Why can't I verbally recognize
your small triumphs?
I don't know.
Note the series
of radiating
depression fractures.
Normally, radiating fractures
on a skull terminate
when they encounter
a previous fracture.
The fractures
on this skull all overlap
as if they happened
at the same time.
The wound has
characteristics
of an injury occurring
from one blow
and multiple blows.
The evidence contradicts itself.
So we still don't know
what the murder weapon was?
He was either struck
three times or once.
How can it be both?
So it's really
a philosophical question.
No, Dr. Wells, it isn't.
Because it actually happened.
Most of the people I look up to
have taken great risks,
both personal and professional.
Real growth comes from
taking chances.
That's true.
Well, he must be right,
because Charlie McCord
was doing a great business
off these videos
before he died.
Two bucks a pop.
Wow. And after he died?
With that publicity?
Thousands of downloads an hour.
The wife will clean up
if it keeps going at this rate.
Another motive.
You know what?
Maybe VAL is right.
I mean,
Lena Silver lives
right next to
Riley's Tire Depot.
Do you have a tuxedo?
No. Oh, you mean
for the wedding?
Yes.
Ah. No, do I need one?
Well, if I will be wearing
a wedding dress,
we'd look more like
we belong together
if you're wearing a tuxedo.
Like we're standing
on top of a cake.
Yes.
With frosting down below.
Yeah.
Ah!
Okay, I'll get a tuxedo.
And shiny shoes.
So we're going formal?
Yes, yes, in a church.
Your church.
I've-I've studied
the ceremony.
It's beautiful.
Even the superstitions.
You sure?
It would make you happy,
wouldn't it?
So, then it'll
make me happy, too.
Tell you what, if we weren't
waiting for a murder suspect to
open up that door,
I would take you in my arms...
Whoa, okay! Oh-oh, easy.
FBI, okay?
Put the weapon down.
Sorry.
It's a tough neighborhood.
Are you Lena Silver?
Yes.
Booth, isn't that a violation
of her parole to have
a weapon that could have
been used to kill
Charlie McCord?
Okay, we're gonna have
to take you into custody, Lena.
You must have been very angry
at Charlie, Miss Silver.
He ruined your life.
No, he didn't.
I did.
When he turned me in,
Charlie didn't know
I had two prior arrests.
Was I gonna blame him
for that, too?
So he got you arrested,
and you thanked him?
At the time,
I wanted to kill him.
But that was before
I went into counseling.
And to be honest,
before I saw Charlie's videos.
So after watching Charlie,
you learned to
accept your situation
and forgive yourself?
Is there something wrong
with that?
No, I think
it's very impressive.
Bitterness and anger aren't
gonna help me build a new life.
Or get your kids back.
And killing Charlie wouldn't
help get my kids back either.
No, but sometimes we don't think
of all the consequences
before we act.
People can change, Dr. Sweets.
I'm proof of that.
And when I get my kids back,
they're gonna have a mom
they can be proud of.
We can place Charlie
near your house
around the time of his death.
I'm gone most of the day.
I'm working
two minimum wage jobs.
And when I sleep,
I don't hear a thing.
We're gonna have to hold you
until we test the pipe
to see if it's
the murder weapon.
I'd do the same thing
if I were you.
Let's be clear.
We're all riding in a boat
that's destined to sink.
It's the journey
that gives our lives meaning.
We're all flawed.
We could all be better.
But focusing on the negatives,
it merely makes us negative.
My life will be over soon.
But I'm not afraid.
I'm grateful.
Probably not grateful
to be murdered.
He was a wonderful man.
These videos will probably help
a lot of people.
And make his wife
quite wealthy.
Yeah, that, too.
Have you done a scenario?
Yeah.
Was the pipe a match?
Uh, no. I ran a bunch of
different simulations,
and there were no scenarios
where the blows from the pipe
caused the damage
to the victim's skull.
So Lena Silver is
probably not the killer.
Yeah.
Hey, you said you wanted
to help me with my dress.
Yeah.
I want you to look
at something.
Oh, my God.
Where did you get this?
I've had it
since I was eight years old.
You've had this that whole time?
It's the dress I always imagined
I'd wear on my wedding day.
But then I grew up
and my life changed,
and I didn't think about it
until now.
Is it okay?
Yeah, it's perfect.
You might not admit it,
but you're a dreamer.
And this is...
this is your bucket list.
I hope they can make it in time.
Well, they will,
or they'll have to answer to me.
No one messes
with the maid of honor.
I'm so happy for you.
Oh, hey.
So, VAL still thinks
that there's a 96% probability
that Lena Silver
is the prime suspect.
What?!
No! The pipe isn't a match.
My profile completely dismisses
the possibility of her
as the murderer.
I know, I know,
but the department wants us
to factor in VAL
every time we release a suspect.
Seriously?
Yeah, seriously,
Sweets, seriously.
You know what I think
about that?
This is what I think about that.
Kicking it to the curb!
Couldn't you get in trouble
for that?
Look, I don't mind trouble.
But if you're wrong about Lena,
I'm blaming you.
Thank you, Booth. I-I really...
All right, enough.
Don't get all mushy on me, okay?
We still have
a murder to solve.
I hate computers,
always have.
Let's look at some paper.
Charlie McCord's will
was released today.
Look at that.
Oh, wow.
He was splitting
all future income
from his speeches between Lena
and his wife.
And it explains
what his bucket list meant
by "making Lena whole."
Right.
Charlie's wife couldn't have
been too happy about that.
This little guy
is really sick.
There's got to be some kind
of poison in his system.
I'm running a blood culture
and tissue sample.
I studied veterinary science
for two years.
It doesn't appear
to be avian pox.
Bird flu? You're going there?
That's a mutated strain.
I would've thought
you knew that.
Don't start, Dr. Wells.
Sorry.
I just assume people usually
understand basic principles...
Dude, that is "starting."
Now, I found polyethylene,
styrene-butadiene, canvas,
cellulose and synthetic
rubbers inside the rangle,
but nothing in quantities
that would cause this.
Arsenic.
Oh.
Arsenic in the wild?
No. There's no carbon.
It was poison, and
it was in the victim.
That's who the hawk
was feeding on.
The victim was poisoned.
We attributed the porous
bones to chemotherapy...
But Charlie stopped chemotherapy
almost a year ago.
So it was the arsenic
that prevented the bones
from remodeling.
If it was the wife,
she's brilliant.
In a murderous kind of way,
of course.
You must have been
pretty upset when you
found out that Charlie
changed his will.
Why would I be upset?
Because Charlie planned
on leaving Lena Silver
30% of the income generated
from his speeches.
That's, like, a million dollars.
Charlie felt terrible
for the woman.
He said he ruined her life.
She lost her kids.
It's reasonable
for you to think
that money was
yours and not hers.
Have you even watched
any of Charlie's videos?
Yes.
I ordered
the whole series.
Then you know
what kind of man my husband was.
Kind, compassionate, generous.
You ordered the whole series?
I found them
very inspiring, okay?
Look, just because
your husband was a good man
doesn't mean that
you're a good woman.
I wouldn't have taken a second
from Charlie's life.
This world is poorer
for him being gone.
I am amazed that everyone
doesn't feel it, but I do.
And yet, you fed him arsenic.
What?
I did not.
The homeopathic remedies
you gave him.
They were just herbs
and other Ayurvedic remedies.
They contained arsenic.
We found it in his system
when we examined his remains.
But you said that Charlie was
hit on the head.
Well, we're
gonna have to consider
the possibility
that you became impatient.
Oh, my God.
I was just trying
to help him.
I swear, that's all.
I gave him that medicine
to help him.
If you look closely, the
depression fracture to the skull
has a slightly smaller hinge
on the bottom than the top.
That means it came from a blow
that was delivered
with an upward motion.
97% of strikes are by
an overhand motion.
Yeah.
Dr. Brennan, would you like to
grab a coffee with me sometime?
Maybe lunch
or perhaps dinner?
I'd pay.
What you're proposing,
Dr. Wells, is completely
inappropriate.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Not like a-a date.
I mean, it's a date,
but not a sexual date.
I-I don't have any friends.
That's because
you're objectionable.
What I'm looking for is
someone that I can have
a conversation with
without shutting down
three quarters of my brain.
I'm tired of being lonely,
and I'm hoping
that you will be that person.
I decline, Dr. Wells.
I don't like you.
So what?
I don't like you either.
What does that
have to do with anything?
The subject is closed.
The victim was struck
by a side-arm motion.
Probably because
the killer
couldn't rotate
his arm from above.
Yes, Dr. Hodgins?
Yes. Yes.
I, uh, I found traces of
cupronickel, uh,
on canvas threads
in the last bit of rangle.
Quarters are made
from cupronickel.
I know what happened.
Oh, my God, I don't.
The canvas was a bank
bag for deposits.
Yeah, for the quarters
they raised for charity.
Martin Proctor struck him with
a bank bag full of quarters.
But what about his alibi?
Martin Proctor's alibi
is this movie ticket
that he just gave to Booth.
Can you prove that he bought it?
Well, there's a confirmation
code on the stub,
and usually the code will link
to a credit card purchase.
But he said he bought
the ticket in cash.
Yeah, and murderers never lie.
We think that Martin Proctor
killed Charlie McCord,
which means he did not
purchase this movie ticket.
Okay.
And you're right.
This was bought by credit
card by someone named
Loraine Nemitz.
He must have fished the ticket
out of the trash.
Martin Proctor
was never at the movies.
He has no alibi.
We know that this is
the deposit bag
you ruckharles McCord with.
I was at a movie.
No, you weren't, okay?
This is not your ticket.
All right? You have no alibi.
Why? Why, Martin?
Charlie was a good guy.
Why'd you kill him?
The videos started
to make some money.
Charlie was paying me
for my time.
Couple hundred bucks
here and there.
And then he told me
that he was gonna give
30% to that lady crook.
Lena Silver.
I went with him
to all of his bucket crap.
I took the videos of
his lectures, cut them together.
I deserved a percentage
of the profits, too.
But Charlie said no.
Maybe he had a good reason.
He did.
Video number six.
The importance of independence,
of being forced
by circumstance
to take care of yourself.
I wanted money,
not a lecture.
Oh, so you killed him?
I hit him.
I-I didn't want him to die.
You know why?
Wait, because he was a good guy?
Because killing him means
I'll never get that money.
♪ Every peace I find
♪ Seems to rise to say...
At the end of the day,
we're all gonna make mistakes.
We're all going to do things
we regret,
even to those we care about.
It's unavoidable.
But at the end, what matters is
how you address your failings.
How you treat your family.
How you treat your friends.
How you forgive.
And how you love.
Oh, and one more thing
I've realized.
You never get
the whole bucket list done.
You just keep
adding things to it,
because every day there's
something new to amaze us.
That's how we know we're alive.
Dr. Wells.
Oh. Hey, Dr. Saroyan.
Uh, I was, uh, I was just...
I was just talking to VAL.
You were, um, talking to VAL?
Yeah, she has the most
amazing sense of humor.
"She."
I asked her, I said, if you're so smart,
what's the greatest lesson
Jesus ever gave us?
And she said that,
"Heaven is like 3x squared
"plus 8x
minus nine."
I have no idea.
That's the equation
for a parabola.
And parabola is funny?
It's a pun.
On the word "parable."
Because Jesus's
greatest wisdom was
handed down in the... Yeah.
In the form of parables.
Guys, I'm ready.
A parabola.
Okay.
What's happening?
VAL is being sent back.
She picked the wrong murderer
and she upset our team dynamics.
Well, th-then the team
is stupid.
Maybe, but it's that kind of
stupidity that makes us so good.
Wait, no, uh, don't take her.
Please. C-Can I buy her?
Can I... can I have her?
Government property.
Please!
This is the most
scintillating conversation...
I'm sorry, Dr. Wells.
No!
So be surprised.
Cherish the time you have.
'Cause every day is a gift.
Every moment a blessing.
I think Christine
has finally gone to sleep.
Shh, shh.
Why? It doesn't
work both ways.
No, no, I don't
think that's true.
I swear she knows
when we relax.
Just put it down.
All right.
Shh-shh-shh-shh.
There you go. Okay.
Bones, you got nothing
on your list there.
Well, you've written down
ten things.
Yeah.
Come on, there's got to be
at least a hundred things
you want to do
before you die.
I don't know.
I'm very happy.
I have a very good job
that I enjoy, a lovely home,
a healthy and smart child...
Yeah, but...
And I love the man
I'm going to marry.
That is pretty good.
Pretty good.
I mean, if I were you,
and I had me,
I wouldn't write anything down
on a list either.
You're teasing me.
I am.
But look at you.
You know, this...
these are just little things.
You know, where I want to go,
you know,
climb things, go to
outer space, huh?
What, lean on the
Tower of Pisa?
Did you get your tuxedo?
I will.
We should probably
decide where we want
to have our reception.
Founding Fathers.
Great free wings.
Oh, a better place obviously.
We don't get
married every day;
our wedding shouldn't
feel like an everyday thing.
I love every day.
Hold on, turn
that thing off.
What? I'm not...
She can't see.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
What's that mean?
we gonna tell everybody
about our wedding?
Oh, we're not.
Not till we make
all the plans, okay?
Whoa-ho!
All right.
Oh, this guy is
all chewed up.
Torn, actually.
Missing phalanges, bone
fragments from the skull.
Probably a hawk
fed on him.
Don't you want to discuss it
with our friends, Booth?
Oh, really? I mean, you really
want to get everyone's opinion
on what they think
our wedding should be like?
What, "You can't
have pigs in a blanket," huh?
"No, no, you know what,
you should have
"radishes that are
shaped like hummingbirds
and wear dandelion hats."
I've never even
seen those things.
They exist.
Based on decomp,
I'd estimate
he's been here for
approximately three days.
But Cam should probably
make that determination.
We can wait for her
to get a definitive...
No, no, no.
We're not...
I've been dangling here
for long enough, all right?
Things are... you know,
they're starting to pinch.
Listen, Bones, all I'm saying,
that this is...
Look, we've been
waiting a long time
for this day,
for our wedding, all right?
I just want this
to be our day. Don't you?
But we'll invite
everybody, won't we?
Of course.
Of course we are.
You always say
that you know best.
Based on the
palatine suture,
the width of the
ascending ramus
and the sternal
rib ends,
the victim was a Caucasian
male in his early 50s.
I do dislike it
when other people
tell me what to do.
See? Now there's the Bones
that I love, all right?
We're gonna have
a great wedding.
Whoo... all right.
What are you doing?
Aw...
That's right.
Or whatever it's gonna be.
Okay.
But... pigs
in a blanket?
Yeah. Pigs in a blanket.
It's God's perfect food.
That might be
a point of contention.
Come on.
This looks like
an accident.
Oh, no.
No one out of shape
in their 50s, goes
rock climbing alone.
This was a murder.
You're making an
assumption, Booth.
What?
Well, I'm that guy.
I'm that gut guy, okay?
I assume things.
That's what I do.
Whoa!
Then I'm going
to need to take
the hawk back to
the lab, too.
Is he eating a finger?
Yes. He seems to be enjoying it.
We'll need
Animal Control.
No, we need to get
pulled up.
Hey! Can we
get the hawk?
Trust me, you're gonna like
pigs in a blanket.
So I'm compiling character
traits of rock climbers
and their psychosocial...
Great.
You don't want to hear?
Oh, I get it.
Psycho socials...
they're like dances,
uh, you know,
in a loony bin.
I got it, right?
Come on in.
Shut the door, will you?
Just... will you
shut the door for a second?
What's going on?
Thanks.
I just want to...
want you to...
just keep an open mind
about something here.
About what?
Is this about the wedding?
'Cause if you want
to parachute from a plane or something,
No.
I'm down. I'll do it.
No one's parachuting
from a-a plane.
Thank God.
You know, I actually
have an awesome idea for a wedding.
Sweets.
It's not about,
um, the wedding.
It's about VAL.
Who's that?
No. No. No.
Because my last blind date
was a disaster, all right?
She threw her drink
my ce because
she didn't know what "masticate" meant.
This isn't a...
It means to chew.
Sweets, just pay attention, okay?
she didn't know what "masticate" meant.
I'd like to introduce you to...
...VAL.
Okay?
It's a Virtual something...
Adumbrative.
Yes!
That's the word.
It's an artificial
profiling system.
Right. You know...
So everything I get
from the case,
I got to input it into here
and so do the squints, so...
Wow.
They want to compare me
to a computer.
I can't be replaced
by a video game.
Listen, I had to... I just
felt like I had to tell you.
Right? Because you're...
you know... so I did.
But if you tell anyone,
I'm gonna have to kill you.
No, I understand.
This is not
a problem, it's...
it's a joke, is what...
I-I agree.
It's a complete joke.
Yeah.
To me, it's like that Russian guy
who played the computer
in chess.
It doesn't work.
Exactly.
Kasparov lost to
the computer, but...
it's not a... it's not
a good comparison.
Oh.
What a beautiful bird.
I know, right?
And look how much
he's regurgitated.
Excuse me?
Yeah.
See, hawks, they don't
have teeth, right?
So they got to tear
and swallow clothes,
flesh and bone whole,
and then they regurgitate
what they can't,
you know, digest.
This guy is full
of evidence.
I mean, look at this.
Honey, when you're
showing me puke,
don't smile like that.
It's called rangle.
See, when the stomach
contents come up,
they're this hard, congealed...
Okay. I get it.
I'm starting to feel like
I'm gonna rangle.
Come on, buddy.
Have you examined
these X-rays, Dr. Wells?
Of course.
I took them.
Lack of extensions along
the edges of the phalanges
where the flexor
sheath attaches
and an absence of
remodeled stress
or other fractures in
the wrists and metacarpals
indicate someone who has not
been rock climbing before.
You shouldn't be reading,
Dr. Wells.
I'm sorry. Was I wrong?
That's beside the point.
You're here to work, not read.
Based on decomp
and the desiccation
of the tissue,
I'd estimate time of death at...
Three days.
Excuse me?
Three days.
I factored in ambient
temperature at the scene,
rainfall, the feeding
of the carrion...
I-I'm sorry, but if you
were gonna say anything
other than three days,
you'd be wrong.
Now, can I just
finish my page?
No.
Oh, my God.
Why am I never prepared
for what I see here?
Alfred Adler would say that a
repression of visual stimuli...
Why is he back?
He's brilliant.
Is that why he's reading
Mindy Kaling's book?
I'm a polymath.
I can learn from anything.
How long will it take you
to do a facial
reconstruction?
Uh, damaged skull and
the dried tissue...
The sooner
the better, really,
because this dude was
definitely murdered.
I think it's a little bit early
to make that statement,
Dr. Wells.
Perhaps not.
The facial injuries
indicate that the victim
struck the cliff face first.
As if he were thrown off
the edge of the cliff,
as Booth assumed.
Well, then there's also
hemorrhagic staining to
the wound around the parietal,
which means
it occurred perimortem.
So the wound to the parietal
was cause of death.
Yes. The victim was
bludgeoned to death
before going over
the side of that cliff.
Now...
can I finish my page?
I'll take that as a "yes."
* Bones 9x05 *
The Lady on the List
Original Air Date on October 14, 2013
* Main Title Theme * The Crystal Method
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
I disagree.
I'm just telling you
what VAL says.
And how exactly does VAL
tell you these things?
Oh, well, if I'm not in my
office, you know, she texts me.
Look at that.
"Perpetrator is
an experienced rock climber."
I disagree.
So does the Jeffersonian.
Noted, Sweets.
Okay? Just relax.
Okay, can we please stop
calling it "her" and "she"?
I mean...
Yeah.
So why don't you think
the murderer is a climber?
No, I don't think that the
killer isn't a climber,
I just think it's
crazy to say that
he's an experienced
rock climber.
There's a difference.
Okay.
You're agreeing with me,
which, you know...
which is good.
I like it.
So, our victim is
an amateur,
he's vulnerable in
dangerous situations.
He goes climbing with
someone who bashes him.
While he's suiting up,
or whatever they call it.
Good enough. And then
he tosses him over the edge
and makes it
look like an accident.
Did VAL tell you that?
I don't think so.
The victim exhibited bilateral
intercondylar fractures
to the distal ends
of the femurs.
Interesting, Dr. Wells, but
irrelevant for cause of death.
Well, seeing as
how it occurred
four months before the
victim died, I get it.
Keep your shirt on.
Dr. Wells,
you are an intern.
Please treat Dr. Brennan
with the respect she's due.
Well, I thought
this was a meritocracy.
It is.
Then that was
the respect she's due.
No, no, it wasn't.
And since she's your...
Don't say "superior."
...boss.
But I will say
"superior" if I want,
because I am also
your superior.
Do you understand?
So, Dr. Brennan,
have you set a date yet?
For the wedding.
Oh, we aren't adjusting
for anyone's schedule.
If you have a conflict
and would like to attend,
you'll have to rearrange
your schedule.
Okay.
That's a warm invitation.
Concise,
to the point.
Well said. Bravo.
Thank you.
I took a slide
from the victim's liver,
and as you can see...
Cancerous.
Quite advanced.
Our victim was terminal.
Could you please see
if Angela has...
Made any progress
on identifying the victim. Yes.
Must you interrupt?
I'm just trying to use
our time efficiently.
Well, it doesn't make you
any more likeable.
Is likability important?
Right now, I'm gonna
go with "yes."
How can you do
a facial reconstruction
without any tissue markers?
Well, I'm extrapolating
the missing fragments
based on
the general characteristics
of a Caucasian skull.
Now I'm gonna run this
against the DMV database
and see what
we come up with.
The use of
a generic skull
is gonna result
in far too many hits.
You don't have
many friends, do you?
No, I don't.
None, really.
Hmm. That's a shocker.
This is a waste
of time.
Wow, look at that.
One match. Who knew?
I suppose you think
your little ding
taught me a lesson.
Did it?
Yes.
Never discount
random luck.
Having terminal cancer...
it's not good.
"Terminal" means end point.
The end. Death.
And you know what?
Life is better than death.
That's deep.
I don't think so.
But impending death
bestows a gift
I did not see coming.
Clarity.
That's so true.
Knowing the end is near
lends a bittersweet urgency
to every breath, every moment.
And you know what else?
Fear evaporates.
This is our victim?
That's him.
Charlie McCord.
There you go.
Take a good look.
High school principal,
married, two kids.
What is this video?
Well, you know,
when he found out
that he was gonna die,
he made all these videos,
he created this Web site
where you can buy them;
they're incredibly popular.
It's not uncommon for people
to ascribe special wisdom
to those who are
facing death.
That's because
they have special wisdom.
Watch, watch.
And fear is what stands
between us and fulfillment.
Once fear is gone,
life opens up
to all its grandeur.
All things are possible.
This guy's deep.
Why do you need
our victim's ear canal?
Oh, yes.
I want to analyze
the cerumen.
The earwax?
It's less icky
if I call it cerumen.
Look at this.
It builds up like sediment.
You can track his recent
activities through earwax?
Cerumen.
And even though
he snacks on dead humans,
he's not a buzzard.
He's a hawk, Cam.
Hey, he's a hawk.
Hey, labels are important,
you know?
'Cause words can hurt.
I can't believe Charlie's dead.
When was the last time
you saw your husband?
Four days ago.
Can you think of anyone
who'd want to hurt your husband?
Uh, no.
I-I mean,
there were some comments
underneath his videos
that were pretty mean.
People who said
that he was stupid,
or that he was
faking his illness
to make money, but...
You found Charlie
climbing a cliff?
Is that strange?
Well, he was afraid of heights.
"Well, when fear is gone,
life opens up all its grandeur."
You've seen one of his videos.
Yeah, well, he was a wise man.
He was hoping maybe
someone would see them
and pay us
for the rights to write a book.
Turns out,
people are willing
to buy them
the way they are.
It's typical.
Charlie's dying,
and he's worrying
about me and the kids.
I'm sorry, wasn't he in pain?
Constantly.
The autopsy didn't show
any narcotics in his system.
Charlie wanted to put off drugs
for as long as he could.
He would only take
homeopathic medicine.
He was a wonderful man.
Anyone who knew him
would tell you
that he was special.
I recovered several videos
from the victim's cell phone,
one of which you'll find
extremely interesting.
One of his "live
life to the fullest
'cause life is
too short" videos?
Uh, not exactly.
This was time-stamped
five days before
the murder.
Hey, Chuck, Chuck.
Hey, man, big fan.
What?
Obviously, somebody took
this video.
Wow, that hurt.
Pull over!
Hey, pull over!
He's mad.
That was
incredibly cowardly.
Well...
Come on, Angela,
how much courage does it take
to sucker punch someone?
A lot when it's this guy.
Oh, my God.
Yeah, this is Chuck
"The Iceman" Liddell.
He's a mixed martial arts
world champion.
So, Charlie McCord slugged
the toughest man in the world?
Yeah.
And revenge is sort of
the Iceman's thing.
Pull over!
Hey, pull over!
He's mad.
Yeah, that's me.
So what?
Getting punched in the face
a crime now?
No, murder was the crime.
This guy was murdered
four days ago.
You think I did it?
Look at you, huh?
Looks like you're mad enough.
People come up to me
all the time.
Sign an autograph,
take a picture with them.
I don't get punched
in the face for it.
So you're saying
you never saw him before?
Not till Charlie
threw the punch.
Wait, then how do you know
his name?
He called me after.
Apparently,
I was on his bucket list...
you know, a list of stuff
you want to do before you die?
So let me get this straight.
Uh, "punch the Iceman"
was on his bucket list?
Yeah, I was kind of flattered
when I heard.
He's a nice guy.
Really sorry to hear
what happened.
Uh, let me know
if there's anything I can do.
There's evidence that the finger
was treated after he
slugged the Iceman.
That's the least
of his worries.
He only had six weeks
to live.
There are so many variables
to an assessment like that
that it is practically guessing.
But if McCord was told
he only had six weeks,
that would explain
his risk-taking.
Would it not,
Dr. Know-it-all?
I will concede that.
That's mighty big of you.
What's this?
I was thinking about
the victim's bucket list,
so I made one for you.
'Cause we all
need one, right?
"Number one, don't be a douche.
"Number two, really,
"don't be a douche.
"Number three, work and
play well with others
so I'm not perceived
as a douche."
Do I have to read all ten?
Probably not.
You think it's easy
being superior?
It's a curse, I assure you.
Mostly for us.
There must be a heart in
there someplace, Oliver.
I'm just trying to
help; it's tough love.
It's misguided,
but I understand.
I don't even think
he had six weeks.
Look at this.
The cancer was spreading
to his bones.
Look at the marrow;
see how porous it is?
Yeah, he was never
gonna finish his list.
Poor guy.
Murdered before he had
a chance to die.
Sad.
Really?
Yeah.
I mean, we all want
a little more time, don't we?
To fix things, to go out with
our ducks in a row.
Check his medical records,
see if you can
find out who treated his finger.
Maybe that will lead to
who shot the cell phone video.
Okay.
Computer profiling
is absurd, okay?
Psychology takes, um, subtlety
and a subjective analysis.
Subjective?
Yeah.
Well, that's the problem.
A computer program with
advanced analytical algorithms
would not be subjective;
it would skirt
the pitfalls of Heisenberg's
uncertainty principle.
So you're saying
after all we've been through,
you think a computer
would be better than me?
Theoretically, yes.
Hey, how's it going?
How's it going?
I'll tell you how it's going.
Dr. Brennan would rather
work with a computer than me.
But as a lunch companion,
I certainly prefer you.
You know what,
that's high praise, Sweets.
Anyhow, VAL says
that the bucket list
shows that the victim was...
uh, let's see, it says here...
"vulnerable because
of his illness.
"The guise of him as a
sincerely good man is a mask
to hide his anger
and hostility."
That's stupid.
That's lame psycho-babble.
Stupid. I hope they didn't
spend too much on that program.
I heard three million.
- What?
- Three million dollars?
I...
And they can't give me a raise.
You know, I'm seriously
like Call of Duty,
and-and that thing is like
Elf Bowling.
All right,
show me what you got
there, Mr. Call of Duty.
I've analyzed Charlie's videos;
he's a genuinely good man.
The essence of a bucket list
isn't vulnerability.
It's rooted
in the simple human desire
to realize one's potential
before death.
I buy that.
You know what,
computer zero, Sweets one.
Good work, you're back.
Thank you.
VAL is a moron, all right?
Everyone has some kind
of a bucket list.
I don't have a list, per se.
Well, winning the
Nobel, of course,
but that's more
of an eventuality than a dream.
I've got, like,
a million things on my list.
Really?
If you could pick one?
All right, um, you know the guy
who did the free-fall
from space?
ah.
Yeah.
I'd like to buy him a drink.
That...
That's...
Okay.
Brennan.
Hi, Angela.
You don't want to free-fall?
Yes.
Who? All right.
Yes, Booth is here;
I'll tell him.
Angela got
the victim's medical records.
His wife wasn't listed
as the emergency contact
for any of
his hospital stays.
It was a man
named Martin Proctor.
So the victim
might not have trusted
his wife as much as we thought.
Are you busy?
Hey.
Is something wrong?
Wrong? No, I don't think so.
Is there?
I-I don't know.
You seem like you want to talk.
I do.
Is that wrong?
No, I...
Forget it.
No, I-I'm not busy, no.
Good.
You remember that I'm going
to marry Booth?
I vaguely recollect that, yeah.
Oh, no.
He didn't call it off again,
did he?
Because I can do
physical harm.
No, no.
We've just decided
that we don't want anyone else
to help us plan our wedding.
Oh.
Guests will be that, just guests.
And if they don't like
pigs in blankets,
they may have to bring
their own snacks.
Booth and I haven't figured out
all the details yet.
I don't care how
or where you do it, sweetie.
I got married in a jail cell,
for God's sake.
Booth is a good man, Angela.
He didn't want to hurt me.
It was Pelant who kept us apart.
Until he was gone,
Booth's hands were tied.
Yeah, I should've
trusted him, huh?
Yes.
But it was hard
for me, too, at the time.
Well, listen,
whatever you two decide,
I'm sure it's gonna be perfect.
I'm not gonna
say another word.
That will make Booth very happy.
Listen, I was hoping to help
with the dress, though.
I just don't want
you ending up
in a grass skirt
and a headdress.
And that will make me
very happy.
And isn't that
what a matron of honor
is supposed to do?
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
It's "maid of honor."
Well, technically,
you're married, so it's matron.
Usually, we'd expect to see
his wife listed
as the emergency contact.
Charlie couldn't do that.
He didn't want his wife
to worry.
You were helping him
with his bucket list.
Was. It was
getting too crazy.
I told him if he was
gonna kill himself,
I wouldn't be a part of it.
What was your relationship
with Charlie?
I blew my shoulder out
pitching when I was
a student here.
Torn rotator cuff.
A couple years ago,
before Charlie got sick,
he got me a job in
the IT department.
Then he set me up as coach
of the baseball team, too.
Oh, wow, so he was like
a father figure to you.
Yeah.
And you helped him
video his lectures?
Edit them, too.
Charlie and I...
we were tight.
Even working on this
charity together,
Quarters for Care.
Where were you four days ago?
Uh, what are you...
what are you saying?
Nothing, just doing my job.
Yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
Uh, four days ago...
Batting practice in the morning,
and then went to a movie
at Wheaton Plaza.
I think I still have
the ticket stub.
Charlie always said
I was too fussy.
It's okay, but do you have
a copy of his bucket list?
Um...
Charlie didn't want Linda
to see the list.
There are only two left:
"go rock climbing
and make Lena whole."
Okay, um, who's Lena?
Lena Silver.
She was a bookkeeper
for the school.
Charlie caught her cheating,
turned her in; she
wound up going to jail.
Charlie felt pretty bad
about it,
so he was tracking her down.
You think she wanted revenge?
She always seemed nice.
But she lost everything
when she went to jail.
Even her kids.
Oh, come on.
You have VAL, too?
I'm not supposed to tell you.
Yeah, no, neither was Booth.
Thanks.
So, what you should
be hearing
is that we prefer you
to Optimus Prime here.
Who says...
Oh, VAL told you something, huh?
According to VAL,
someone named Lena Silver
is our prime suspect,
with an 86% chance
she committed the murder.
Do you even know
who that is?
Yeah. Lena Silver was
the bookkeeper
for the victim's school.
He reported her for
embezzling $6,000,
she lost her job,
went to jail, lost her kids.
Went to jail for six grand?
Yeah.
Ensuing investigations uncovered
other thefts, so...
Sounds like a motive.
Could you be 86% certain
without any proof?
No.
No.
VAL is, huh?
No one's even talked
to the woman yet.
I hate VAL.
She is stupid.
I hate her.
"It."
You hate "it."
You might as well hate
a transistor radio.
We're all on
your side, Sweets.
Yeah.
Whoa.
Um, should you
be doing that?
Well, I figure if I
hurry up and feed him,
maybe he'll hurry up and rangle
the last bit of evidence.
Hey, I got results
from Charlie's ears.
So, cerumen, right,
it accumulates at a rate
of .01 millimeters per day.
Now, this...
Ooh, no, nope.
Sorry, not that.
Your bucket list?
Yeah, yeah,
I got inspired.
I got to check out Area 51,
you know?
I mean, the real one,
not the fake one
they pawn off
on tourists.
Can't die without that.
Earwax?
Right.
Yuck.
All that was in his ear?
Mm-hmm. .02 millimeters in,
I found acetylene black,
polyisoprene, halobutyl,
sulfide,
nylon, copper, sulphur
and steel particulates.
Okay, so sulphur,
copper sulfide...
sounds like he was sleeping
with a chemistry set.
Tires.
Tires?
Pyrolysis.
Pyrolysis is
the thermochemical
decomposition of materials
in the absence of oxygen.
He was at
a tire recycling facility?
Yep. And based on the depth
of the chemicals
in the cerumen,
two days before he died.
Angie could only find one
in the tri-state area.
"Riley's Tire Depot."
Mm-hmm.
They have absolutely no
record of Charlie buying,
selling or dropping off tires
in the last couple weeks.
I'll tell Booth.
Did I see that you wanted
to be shot out of a cannon?
You don't?
But first,
I want to leap
from the top of the Jungfrau
wearing one of those
Rocky the Flying Squirrel suits,
you know?
Of course you do.
Hey, but that's
just the tip of
the iceberg, you know?
What about you?
Oh, I...
just want a villa in Tuscany
where I can drink wine
and make love.
That's it?
Lot of wine and a lot of love.
And not seeing a bird barf.
Ooh, rangle time.
I can cross this off my list.
I was able to reconstruct
the skull
with fragments
that the bird barfed up.
The fracture
to the parietal
would have caused
the dura mater to be torn.
Very good, Dr. Brennan.
I say "very good," Dr. Wells.
Not you.
Why can't I verbally recognize
your small triumphs?
I don't know.
Note the series
of radiating
depression fractures.
Normally, radiating fractures
on a skull terminate
when they encounter
a previous fracture.
The fractures
on this skull all overlap
as if they happened
at the same time.
The wound has
characteristics
of an injury occurring
from one blow
and multiple blows.
The evidence contradicts itself.
So we still don't know
what the murder weapon was?
He was either struck
three times or once.
How can it be both?
So it's really
a philosophical question.
No, Dr. Wells, it isn't.
Because it actually happened.
Most of the people I look up to
have taken great risks,
both personal and professional.
Real growth comes from
taking chances.
That's true.
Well, he must be right,
because Charlie McCord
was doing a great business
off these videos
before he died.
Two bucks a pop.
Wow. And after he died?
With that publicity?
Thousands of downloads an hour.
The wife will clean up
if it keeps going at this rate.
Another motive.
You know what?
Maybe VAL is right.
I mean,
Lena Silver lives
right next to
Riley's Tire Depot.
Do you have a tuxedo?
No. Oh, you mean
for the wedding?
Yes.
Ah. No, do I need one?
Well, if I will be wearing
a wedding dress,
we'd look more like
we belong together
if you're wearing a tuxedo.
Like we're standing
on top of a cake.
Yes.
With frosting down below.
Yeah.
Ah!
Okay, I'll get a tuxedo.
And shiny shoes.
So we're going formal?
Yes, yes, in a church.
Your church.
I've-I've studied
the ceremony.
It's beautiful.
Even the superstitions.
You sure?
It would make you happy,
wouldn't it?
So, then it'll
make me happy, too.
Tell you what, if we weren't
waiting for a murder suspect to
open up that door,
I would take you in my arms...
Whoa, okay! Oh-oh, easy.
FBI, okay?
Put the weapon down.
Sorry.
It's a tough neighborhood.
Are you Lena Silver?
Yes.
Booth, isn't that a violation
of her parole to have
a weapon that could have
been used to kill
Charlie McCord?
Okay, we're gonna have
to take you into custody, Lena.
You must have been very angry
at Charlie, Miss Silver.
He ruined your life.
No, he didn't.
I did.
When he turned me in,
Charlie didn't know
I had two prior arrests.
Was I gonna blame him
for that, too?
So he got you arrested,
and you thanked him?
At the time,
I wanted to kill him.
But that was before
I went into counseling.
And to be honest,
before I saw Charlie's videos.
So after watching Charlie,
you learned to
accept your situation
and forgive yourself?
Is there something wrong
with that?
No, I think
it's very impressive.
Bitterness and anger aren't
gonna help me build a new life.
Or get your kids back.
And killing Charlie wouldn't
help get my kids back either.
No, but sometimes we don't think
of all the consequences
before we act.
People can change, Dr. Sweets.
I'm proof of that.
And when I get my kids back,
they're gonna have a mom
they can be proud of.
We can place Charlie
near your house
around the time of his death.
I'm gone most of the day.
I'm working
two minimum wage jobs.
And when I sleep,
I don't hear a thing.
We're gonna have to hold you
until we test the pipe
to see if it's
the murder weapon.
I'd do the same thing
if I were you.
Let's be clear.
We're all riding in a boat
that's destined to sink.
It's the journey
that gives our lives meaning.
We're all flawed.
We could all be better.
But focusing on the negatives,
it merely makes us negative.
My life will be over soon.
But I'm not afraid.
I'm grateful.
Probably not grateful
to be murdered.
He was a wonderful man.
These videos will probably help
a lot of people.
And make his wife
quite wealthy.
Yeah, that, too.
Have you done a scenario?
Yeah.
Was the pipe a match?
Uh, no. I ran a bunch of
different simulations,
and there were no scenarios
where the blows from the pipe
caused the damage
to the victim's skull.
So Lena Silver is
probably not the killer.
Yeah.
Hey, you said you wanted
to help me with my dress.
Yeah.
I want you to look
at something.
Oh, my God.
Where did you get this?
I've had it
since I was eight years old.
You've had this that whole time?
It's the dress I always imagined
I'd wear on my wedding day.
But then I grew up
and my life changed,
and I didn't think about it
until now.
Is it okay?
Yeah, it's perfect.
You might not admit it,
but you're a dreamer.
And this is...
this is your bucket list.
I hope they can make it in time.
Well, they will,
or they'll have to answer to me.
No one messes
with the maid of honor.
I'm so happy for you.
Oh, hey.
So, VAL still thinks
that there's a 96% probability
that Lena Silver
is the prime suspect.
What?!
No! The pipe isn't a match.
My profile completely dismisses
the possibility of her
as the murderer.
I know, I know,
but the department wants us
to factor in VAL
every time we release a suspect.
Seriously?
Yeah, seriously,
Sweets, seriously.
You know what I think
about that?
This is what I think about that.
Kicking it to the curb!
Couldn't you get in trouble
for that?
Look, I don't mind trouble.
But if you're wrong about Lena,
I'm blaming you.
Thank you, Booth. I-I really...
All right, enough.
Don't get all mushy on me, okay?
We still have
a murder to solve.
I hate computers,
always have.
Let's look at some paper.
Charlie McCord's will
was released today.
Look at that.
Oh, wow.
He was splitting
all future income
from his speeches between Lena
and his wife.
And it explains
what his bucket list meant
by "making Lena whole."
Right.
Charlie's wife couldn't have
been too happy about that.
This little guy
is really sick.
There's got to be some kind
of poison in his system.
I'm running a blood culture
and tissue sample.
I studied veterinary science
for two years.
It doesn't appear
to be avian pox.
Bird flu? You're going there?
That's a mutated strain.
I would've thought
you knew that.
Don't start, Dr. Wells.
Sorry.
I just assume people usually
understand basic principles...
Dude, that is "starting."
Now, I found polyethylene,
styrene-butadiene, canvas,
cellulose and synthetic
rubbers inside the rangle,
but nothing in quantities
that would cause this.
Arsenic.
Oh.
Arsenic in the wild?
No. There's no carbon.
It was poison, and
it was in the victim.
That's who the hawk
was feeding on.
The victim was poisoned.
We attributed the porous
bones to chemotherapy...
But Charlie stopped chemotherapy
almost a year ago.
So it was the arsenic
that prevented the bones
from remodeling.
If it was the wife,
she's brilliant.
In a murderous kind of way,
of course.
You must have been
pretty upset when you
found out that Charlie
changed his will.
Why would I be upset?
Because Charlie planned
on leaving Lena Silver
30% of the income generated
from his speeches.
That's, like, a million dollars.
Charlie felt terrible
for the woman.
He said he ruined her life.
She lost her kids.
It's reasonable
for you to think
that money was
yours and not hers.
Have you even watched
any of Charlie's videos?
Yes.
I ordered
the whole series.
Then you know
what kind of man my husband was.
Kind, compassionate, generous.
You ordered the whole series?
I found them
very inspiring, okay?
Look, just because
your husband was a good man
doesn't mean that
you're a good woman.
I wouldn't have taken a second
from Charlie's life.
This world is poorer
for him being gone.
I am amazed that everyone
doesn't feel it, but I do.
And yet, you fed him arsenic.
What?
I did not.
The homeopathic remedies
you gave him.
They were just herbs
and other Ayurvedic remedies.
They contained arsenic.
We found it in his system
when we examined his remains.
But you said that Charlie was
hit on the head.
Well, we're
gonna have to consider
the possibility
that you became impatient.
Oh, my God.
I was just trying
to help him.
I swear, that's all.
I gave him that medicine
to help him.
If you look closely, the
depression fracture to the skull
has a slightly smaller hinge
on the bottom than the top.
That means it came from a blow
that was delivered
with an upward motion.
97% of strikes are by
an overhand motion.
Yeah.
Dr. Brennan, would you like to
grab a coffee with me sometime?
Maybe lunch
or perhaps dinner?
I'd pay.
What you're proposing,
Dr. Wells, is completely
inappropriate.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
Not like a-a date.
I mean, it's a date,
but not a sexual date.
I-I don't have any friends.
That's because
you're objectionable.
What I'm looking for is
someone that I can have
a conversation with
without shutting down
three quarters of my brain.
I'm tired of being lonely,
and I'm hoping
that you will be that person.
I decline, Dr. Wells.
I don't like you.
So what?
I don't like you either.
What does that
have to do with anything?
The subject is closed.
The victim was struck
by a side-arm motion.
Probably because
the killer
couldn't rotate
his arm from above.
Yes, Dr. Hodgins?
Yes. Yes.
I, uh, I found traces of
cupronickel, uh,
on canvas threads
in the last bit of rangle.
Quarters are made
from cupronickel.
I know what happened.
Oh, my God, I don't.
The canvas was a bank
bag for deposits.
Yeah, for the quarters
they raised for charity.
Martin Proctor struck him with
a bank bag full of quarters.
But what about his alibi?
Martin Proctor's alibi
is this movie ticket
that he just gave to Booth.
Can you prove that he bought it?
Well, there's a confirmation
code on the stub,
and usually the code will link
to a credit card purchase.
But he said he bought
the ticket in cash.
Yeah, and murderers never lie.
We think that Martin Proctor
killed Charlie McCord,
which means he did not
purchase this movie ticket.
Okay.
And you're right.
This was bought by credit
card by someone named
Loraine Nemitz.
He must have fished the ticket
out of the trash.
Martin Proctor
was never at the movies.
He has no alibi.
We know that this is
the deposit bag
you ruckharles McCord with.
I was at a movie.
No, you weren't, okay?
This is not your ticket.
All right? You have no alibi.
Why? Why, Martin?
Charlie was a good guy.
Why'd you kill him?
The videos started
to make some money.
Charlie was paying me
for my time.
Couple hundred bucks
here and there.
And then he told me
that he was gonna give
30% to that lady crook.
Lena Silver.
I went with him
to all of his bucket crap.
I took the videos of
his lectures, cut them together.
I deserved a percentage
of the profits, too.
But Charlie said no.
Maybe he had a good reason.
He did.
Video number six.
The importance of independence,
of being forced
by circumstance
to take care of yourself.
I wanted money,
not a lecture.
Oh, so you killed him?
I hit him.
I-I didn't want him to die.
You know why?
Wait, because he was a good guy?
Because killing him means
I'll never get that money.
♪ Every peace I find
♪ Seems to rise to say...
At the end of the day,
we're all gonna make mistakes.
We're all going to do things
we regret,
even to those we care about.
It's unavoidable.
But at the end, what matters is
how you address your failings.
How you treat your family.
How you treat your friends.
How you forgive.
And how you love.
Oh, and one more thing
I've realized.
You never get
the whole bucket list done.
You just keep
adding things to it,
because every day there's
something new to amaze us.
That's how we know we're alive.
Dr. Wells.
Oh. Hey, Dr. Saroyan.
Uh, I was, uh, I was just...
I was just talking to VAL.
You were, um, talking to VAL?
Yeah, she has the most
amazing sense of humor.
"She."
I asked her, I said, if you're so smart,
what's the greatest lesson
Jesus ever gave us?
And she said that,
"Heaven is like 3x squared
"plus 8x
minus nine."
I have no idea.
That's the equation
for a parabola.
And parabola is funny?
It's a pun.
On the word "parable."
Because Jesus's
greatest wisdom was
handed down in the... Yeah.
In the form of parables.
Guys, I'm ready.
A parabola.
Okay.
What's happening?
VAL is being sent back.
She picked the wrong murderer
and she upset our team dynamics.
Well, th-then the team
is stupid.
Maybe, but it's that kind of
stupidity that makes us so good.
Wait, no, uh, don't take her.
Please. C-Can I buy her?
Can I... can I have her?
Government property.
Please!
This is the most
scintillating conversation...
I'm sorry, Dr. Wells.
No!
So be surprised.
Cherish the time you have.
'Cause every day is a gift.
Every moment a blessing.
I think Christine
has finally gone to sleep.
Shh, shh.
Why? It doesn't
work both ways.
No, no, I don't
think that's true.
I swear she knows
when we relax.
Just put it down.
All right.
Shh-shh-shh-shh.
There you go. Okay.
Bones, you got nothing
on your list there.
Well, you've written down
ten things.
Yeah.
Come on, there's got to be
at least a hundred things
you want to do
before you die.
I don't know.
I'm very happy.
I have a very good job
that I enjoy, a lovely home,
a healthy and smart child...
Yeah, but...
And I love the man
I'm going to marry.
That is pretty good.
Pretty good.
I mean, if I were you,
and I had me,
I wouldn't write anything down
on a list either.
You're teasing me.
I am.
But look at you.
You know, this...
these are just little things.
You know, where I want to go,
you know,
climb things, go to
outer space, huh?
What, lean on the
Tower of Pisa?
Did you get your tuxedo?
I will.
We should probably
decide where we want
to have our reception.
Founding Fathers.
Great free wings.
Oh, a better place obviously.
We don't get
married every day;
our wedding shouldn't
feel like an everyday thing.
I love every day.
Hold on, turn
that thing off.
What? I'm not...
She can't see.
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
What's that mean?