Bones (2005–2017): Season 8, Episode 3 - The Gunk in the Garage - full transcript

[Tires Spinning I

it's not working.
It's not working!

Stop!

Great. Nice job. Now you're
just getting us more stuck.

This is your fault.
You were yelling at me.

That's why you weren't looking at the road.
How is that my fault?

See? Right there. You're doing
exactly what Dr. Wiseman said.

You're deflecting.
Nothing is ever your fault.

For the love
of all that is holy,

can we please fight about this
when we're not stuck in a ditch?

Symbolic accident.
That's all I'm saying.



Let's just get out of here.

Just rock it, and, when
I say, give it the gas.

Don't order me around.

All right, rock it!

Yeah! Good!
All right, rock it!

Yeah! Yeah, yeah!
More!

Yeah! Step on it!

Stop!

Stop the car!

Is this real or are you just
trying to get attention?

No, something shot down
my throat.

Here, give me a hand.

Come on. Why do they even bother
printing the whole paper?

Why can't they just have
one page that just says...



everything is horrible
everywhere?

There's an interesting
Op-Ed piece...

about the deadlock in the House
Appropriations Committee.

Yeah, that sounds like
a fun morning read.

So what are you doing there?

€œShould I run for president?”

I believe every American
should consider what is...

his or her greatest contribution
to the common good.

Right. And yours would be
running for president?

I'm brilliant.
That... is not in dispute.

I have a profound depth of knowledge
of the evolution of government...

from early Mesopotamian city-states to
the Qing Dynasty to Moorish caliphates,

the laws of Ur-Nammu
and Hammurabi.

Whoo! Go figure. You can't run for
president of the United States, Bones.

Well, not this election cycle,
obviously.

But look what I have
on my pro list.

€œExcellent understanding of
the criminal justice system.”

Because of our work together.

And I have an impressive
conviction rate too.

Oh, “Empathy with struggles
of the working class.”

I worked several minimum-wage
jobs while on the run.

I'm actually thinking
of a tax plan-

You sort of just glossed over
“on the run.”

You know, you were a fugitive. Where's
that? That's not on the list.

I was cleared. Well, after
evading arrest for three months.

Give me the pen.
Fugitive-“Con.â€

Are you saying that you think
I would be a bad candidate?

Because Donald
Trump was thinking of running.

Booth.

Yeah, okay.
We are on our way.

We are up.
Body in a ditch.

I hope you'll be more supportive if our
daughter decides to run for president.

Well, we'll cross that bridge
when she starts walking, okay?

So, the cop here, he tells me
that this couple here,

they were arguing and they ran
off the side of the road.

I would suspend the licenses
of reckless drivers.

Current laws are much too lenient.
You're making laws now?

- She wants to be president.
- Oh. Excellent.

See?
Yeah.

Dr. Hodgins, is there any way to clear
the insects off of the remains?

I know. I am trying.

What happened to the
anterior portion of the victim's skull?

The tire was right on the head when
they were trying to get out of the mud.

The wheels spun, tore off most of
the face and sprayed it everywhere.

Our friend over there wound up
catching a face full of face.

Primary cranial structure...

indicates a male Caucasian
in his late 20s.

I've never seen a presidential
candidate I.D. remains before.

You should put that
on your “Pro” list.

- Dr. Hodgins?
- Oh, thank you.

Okay, what's that?

Hey, check it out!
Bug rapture.

Sorry.

This just makes me so happy.

Look at 'em go!

Okay, okay.

Compression-force trauma extends
from his coccyx to his cranium,

stopping at the frontal bone.

Getting crushed by the car may have
something to do with that, Bones.

So how long has he
been in the ditch?

The moisture from the mud
makes it difficult to tell.

But as soon I get back
to the lab,

my six- and eight-legged friends here
will give us an exact time.

The witness isn't feeling well.

He said he swallowed something when
he was sprayed with... person.

His stomach acid could
be destroying evidence!

Sprayed with person?
Hold on. Bones.

Excuse me. My name is
Dr. Temperance Brennan.

I understand you may have
swallowed some of the remains.

No. It felt like a rock.

Okay, should we get him back to
the Jeffersonian? Not necessary.

Please open wide and say “ah.”

Ah.

Oh!

Wow!
What did you give him?

Ipecac syrup.
It induces regurgitation.

A leader has
to be decisive, Booth.

I certainly wasn't going to
wait for him to pass it. Tooth.

He swallowed a tooth.

You lost my vote.

Thank you.

Significant damage to
the capitate, the hamate...

and styloid process
of the third metacarpal.

Radiating splintering is suggestive
of a high-velocity strike,

most likely a gunshot wound.

1.6 centimeters
in diameter.

If it was a bullet, it was probably from a
nine-millimeter fired at very close range.

Shot in the hand.
Torture, maybe?

Look at that crown
on the third molar...

in the fourth quadrant
of the mandibular arch.

Based on discoloration, it's unlikely
to be more than five years old.

It's the only clean tooth
in the bunch.

The lingual surface to the first molar
is fractured down to the dentin.

There are two fillings
in disrepair...

and heavy calculus buildup
at the gum line.

Why fix one tooth
but not the others?

When I am president,

I will introduce a bill...

which will allow
every American...

to get good dental care.

It will involve a simple
five-tier system...

balancing variable
efficiency measurements...

and parametric funding models.

Ah, finally.

Huh. What is this?

What is that?

Newspaper.

He was wearing boots that
were much too big for him.

Bad teeth, bad boots.

Our victim came
from a lower caste.

We don't have castes in America.

Wow. Would you care to look me
in the face and say that?

Oh, God. Did this just morph
into a racial thing?

Blowfly larvae
indicate time of death...

to be between five
and eight days ago.

And the date on this newspaper
is from six days ago.

These treads are really jammed
with evidence.

I might be able to tell you
the last place this guy walked.

I see nothing giving us
cause of death yet.

Shallow grave at the side
of the road, gunshot wound-

I'm gonna throw caution
to the wind here...

and call it a suspected homicide.

Hey.

- Well?
- Well, it's ours.

We officially live together.
Ooh!

I've never lived
with a man before.

Me neither.

You're so funny.
Heh.

Laughter is gonna be
the main sound in our apartment.

And sex.

Hopefully not at the same time.

Okay, so the little one is the
mailbox in the lobby. Mm-hmm.

And the kitty-ls the front door.
Monkey is the deadbolt.

And, oh, here is the clicker
for the garage.

I've never had a clicker before.

I gotta go.
What about your lunch?

Uh, what's mine is yours.
I'll see you at home tonight.

At home tonight.

Oh, I'll get some wine and sparklers.
Then we can really celebrate.

Oh, it's on.
Ooh!

How am I supposed to reconstruct
a face with a big hole in it?

Do everything but the hole?

Way ahead of you, smarty-pants.

Booth asked me
to do some approximates.

These look great.
Stop humoring me.

How are you doing?

I'm having trouble too.

I mean, all I found is buckshot,

spun sugar, animal feces,

fragments of stained glass
and common limestone gravel,

which tells me that our victim was at
some kind of county fair-type place...

before he was killed.

Wow. That's quite a lot.

Yeah. Plus the purple
in this glass, right?

It's manganese oxide.

It's rarely used
to color glass today.

Now see these
little imperfections?

These are man-made by
localized heat treatments.

That's a method that
was perfected in Venice.

The Venetian glass, I get.

Yeah. So, I do
a fast search, right?

And I found that
there's an antique show...

which advertised “hundreds of
authentic Venetian glass...

from the turn of the century”
which was here last week.

Because where else would a day
laborer step on Venetian glass?

This is you having trouble?

Oh, my God.
You just looked at me with pity.

No-Ange, come on.
We're a team, right?

€œHigh tides lift all boats”?

Okay.

Yeah, that's gonna come back
to bite me later.

Dr. Sweets?
Hey.

What are you doing
in the bone room?

Uh, towels. Daisy was torn
between thread counts,

so she wanted me
to take a look at these.

And she couldn't send you a link?
Yeah. That's what I suggested.

But apparently you can't
feel the Internet.

And there's no medic-cam
to check the thread count, so-

Of course.
Yeah.

It's quite overwhelming
moving in together, huh?

Oh, it's great. I mean, all I had was
an old chair, a TV, video games-

My towels were old and ratty.

So, I get it.
Not a pretty picture.

No. But now I get
the woman's touch, you know?

A full set of silverware, ottoman,
something called a duvet.

I always thought that
men hated all that stuff.

Are you kidding me?
No, we love it.

When we miss living like
pigs, we go camping.

I'll have to remember that.
Yeah.

I wish you and Ms. Wick much
happiness with your new towels.

How could you not be happy with these?
Feel this one. Feel it.

Okay. on!

Okay, this is nice.

Right?
Nice.

Yeah. Hey.

Question-Is it hard for women
moving in with a man?

Is that why you said
I'd hate this?

Oh, no need to get
all shrinky, Dr. Sweets.

Sorry. Never mind.

But, actually, um,

when I moved in
with Michelle's father,

there were times that I didn't
want to compromise, I think.

Sort of like I missed
my old ratty towels.

Mmm. But I didn't have these.
These are awesome.

They are. Can't wait till Daisy
shows me under the medic-cam.

I'll bet.

Well, I should get back to work.

Enjoy.
I will. Thank you.

Well, not much here, Bones.

Hodgins says that two days
before the victim died,

this area was home
to cotton candy,

uh, shotgun pellets,
camels and this gravel,

so I'm confident
this is the place.

Shotgun pellets?

Yeah. Gun show two days
before the antique show.

You know, this would be an excellent
venue for a political rally.

I don't know, Bones. lt'd be kind of
embarrassing if the turnout wasn't too strong.

Oh, it'd be strong.

Okay. Don't you worry
about it being strong.

Two workers.

Okay. Okay.
Uh, you and you.

That's all I need today, guys. Hey.
Hey, come on, guys. I'm sorry.

Just come back in a couple of
days before the car show, okay?

Come on!
Okay, you two.

Okay, start over there. Work
your way back here, okay?

Thanks, Juan.
You got it.

Yeah, no worries.

Hey.
Hi.

Well, something tells
me you two aren't here...

looking to pick up
some unskilled labor.

No, no, we are both
extremely skilled.

Very skilled.
F.B.l.-skilled, pal.

You're looking to see if I'm
hiring illegals? Because I'm not.

These are all people who lost
their jobs, you know? Legal citizens.

Tough times.
Some days, I think...

I'm gonna get mobbed for
minimum-wage work, man.

Under my administration,
the private sector...

will receive incentives
to increase hiring.

Bones, let's just-No campaigning
while we're doing the investigation, okay?

Okay. We think that one of your minimum-wage
workers might have been killed.

Wow, man. Who?

- I don't know. You missing anyone?
- It's a pretty fluid bunch.

I'm their last resort, you know?

Do you recognize
any of these men?

Uh-

That one could be Jared.

- Jared?
- Jared, uh, Andrews.

No, no, um-
Jared Drew.

Jared Drew.
Mm-hmm.

Okay. Tell us about Mr. Drew.

He's been coming around for a year or so.
Good worker.

Never complained.
Always looking for more.

Sometimes intense competition for
limited resources results in violence.

- What?
- What she means is minimum-wage workers-

I mean, any of them likely
to go after the competition?

Wait, wait-
Jared was murdered?

Yeah.

Wow. Uh-

I don't know.
I mean, uh, maybe.

Yeah, the thing is, I don't really
get to know these guys.

Because they are below you
on the social scale.

No. Wait a second there.
I feel bad sending them away.

I get to know them as people,
and that's why I feel bad.

I mean, look at them.
I only have work for two.

What about all the other guys?

The victim's name is Jared Drew.
He was a day laborer.

He used to have his own business?
Yeah, owned a hardware store.

Wow. He lost everything
in the crash.

Suddenly he's competing for
minimum-wage, unskmedjobs.

Bones and I just got back from the
fairgrounds. You should have seen this.

There were 20 workers raising
their hands for two jobs...

to pick trash-garbage.

Does Dr. Brennan
have a plan for the economy?

Okay, tell you what, Sweets.
Let's not encourage her.

I don't know.
You know, she's very smart.

Maybe she's exactly
what this country needs.

Oh, yeah, 'cause
she was wanted for murder,

she took peyote with the Indians
and her dad was a hard-core criminal.

I don't think
I should start printing up...

“Bones for President” campaign buttons
any time soon.

It's Daisy.
She's smiling and looking happy.

- What's the big deal?
- We're moving in together.

She's, uh-She's putting together
a little celebration.

Sweets, the case.
Victim-Mm-hmm.

All right, has no criminal
record, but check this out, huh?

Right there.

Restraining order filed two days
before the murder by Marcy Drew?

His ex-wife.

How is your reconstruction
coming, Ms. Wick?

I hope you'll be pleased,
Madam President.

€œDr. Brennan” is fine.

For now.

I found arthritic markers
on his knuckles and wrists...

that predate the gunshot wound.

It's in the nascent stages and...

asymmetrical.

A day laborer should present
symmetrical wear to his joints.

There are over a hundred types
of arthritis, Ms. Wick.

I'll examine the cell structure
to see what we're dealing with.

How will you deal
with the C.I.A.?

That would be a problem for me.
I can't keep a secret.

You must realize that espionage
is a crucial tool...

for diplomacy
as well as national defense.

But you wouldn't tap
my phone or anything.

A campaign must be designed
to persuade the electorate...

that the candidate
is on their side.

Which means it is sometimes
necessary to lie.

So my answer is-

No, I would not tap your phone.

Oh.

You did an excellent job of
reconstructing the skull, Ms. Wick.

I know.

And it seems as if we have
cause of death-because of me.

Chiseling shows the bullet path
was through the frontal sinus...

and exited through the right
superolateral occipital.

The entry wound and surrounding
damage measure 1.828 centimeters.

That would suggest
a .45-caliber bullet.

But Dr. Saroyan said that
the gunshot to the hand...

was probably from
a nine-millimeter.

Two guns, which means we're
likely looking for two killers.

This is terrible.

I never wanted anything like
this to happen to Jared.

But you did file a restraining
order against him.

He was coming around all the time.
He wouldn't leave Marcy alone.

You were listed in the restraining
order as well, Mr. Young.

Yeah.
Okay.

Jared was getting aggressive.
That had to stop.

I don't think that Jared
would have hurt us, Mike.

You want to take
a chance like that? Huh?

Preemptive action. You can never go
wrong with a little preemptive action.

You seem angry.

Jared was coming around all the
time begging me to take him back.

Marcy's with me now. Okay?
I'm taking care of her.

I'm taking care of the kids. All right?
Jared's life with her is over.

Certainly is now.

Was he ever violent
with you or the children?

Jared? Oh, God, no, no.

- No, he was just-
- He was a loser.

He upset the kids.

That hardware store was passed
down from Jared's grandfather.

And-And trying
to hang on to it,

we lost our condo
and every penny we had.

- He couldn't find any work?
- He tried to get on...

with one of the big
home improvement stores, but-

He would have had to
move away from the kids.

And since you and Mike here
were already together-

- Who told you that?
- Uh, you did, just now.

- Obviously, you feel guilty about leaving your husband.
- Ex-husband.

He was a good man. He was a good
provider until he lost that store.

I had to think of my kids.

Right. You know, often, though,
people feel the need...

to get rid of whatever it is
that makes them feel guilty.

No, that's not it.

Do either of you own a gun?

- I would like a lawyer.
- Me too.

Not another word
without a lawyer.

Dr. Saroyan, have you seen the
excrement that I left on my desk?

Think before you speak, Hodgins.

Some people might not understand
what you're referring to.

Oh. That's a good point.
So, have you seen it?

Yes, I took your excrement.
I wanted to study it.

Ooh. Now everything sounds
terrible, doesn't it?

- Awful.
- I wasn't finished cataloging what the animal ate.

You'll have plenty of time. I
wanted to get my hands on the ex-

evidence to see if it
contained epithelial cells.

Apparently,
she hit the mother lode.

The epithelial cells came from
a variety of exotic animals.

So far, I've found monkey cells,
cougar and digested wolf cells.

Yeah, and all the animals
were at a pet expo.

Jared Drew had work there,

mucking out
the, uh, holding pens.

Have your bugs
given you time of death yet?

Yeah, six days ago. Oh, that
was during the pet expo.

- This must have been his last job.
- Oh, man.

Turns out these expos aren't
just for puppies and kittens anymore.

- Exotic pets are a $10 billion-a-year industry.
- You're exaggerating, right?

No, there are more
pet tigers in Texas...

than there are
in the wilds of India.

What kind of lunatic wants
a wild animal as a pet?

I think “lunatic” pretty much
describes who we're talking about.

I'm sorry.
I don't know him.

- He worked at your pet expo.
- Doing what?

- Cleaning up.
- Oh, I don't hire the day laborers.

- The fairground does that.
- What kind of people come to these things?

Oh, awful people really.
Families, retired people.

Antique shows,
they draw stolen goods.

Gun shows draw illegal weapons.

Okay, yeah, I can see
where this is going.

We don't do any traffic
in illegal exotics.

My pet expo is not only in compliance
with every local and federal law,

but it is also approved by eight
animal rights organizations.

It is a family event.

No, cougars and bears
are not for families.

They are legal. The vendors breed
them right here in the U.S.

Nothing illegal about it.

These animals aren't domesticated.
It is cruel to treat them as pets.

Well, some would say
that it's horrible...

to watch a lion
taking down a zebra,

tearing it apart and eating it.

These animals
are spared that fate.

Look, I came here to help,
not to be attacked...

for doing something
perfectly legal.

All right,
simmer down, Bwana Bob.

I comply with the law.

Now, is there anything else, or do you
just intend to berate me...

because we see the world differently?

I believe you'll be very
impressed when I tell you...

that this arthritis
isn't really arthritis.

I'd be more impressed if you told me
what it is instead of what it isn't.

Beginning stages of osteonecrosis.
See here?

On the ulna
at the styloid process?

And here, more damage
at the olecranon process.

- What causes that? Blood poisoning?
- Exactly.

And when sepsis
makes its way into bone,

it presents as septic arthritis.

- What caused the blood poisoning?
- Point of entry was here.

See the linear striations on the
victim's right lunate and trapezium?

Ouch. Those cuts are pretty deep,

almost like he was slashed.

Scratching the victim
down to bone...

and inserting the bacteria directly
into the victim's bloodstream.

What kind of person doesn't go to the
hospital after an injury like that?

- A very poor person?
- He could've gone to the emergency room.

Either he couldn't get to a
hospital, or he was prevented.

Let's see if Hodgins can take some
samples and figure out what slashed him.

I'm just saying that you're
more important in the lab than I am.

Is this some kind of test?

I give them faces,
which, more and more,

is just not the way
to identify victims.

And then, sometimes,
I show how they died.

That is very important, Angie.

God help me, if you get into that
“AII boats rise in a flood” thing-

- “High tide raises all boats.”
- Yeah. What?

You said flood. A flood
is a natural disaster.

What? Most boats would
sink in a flood.

Tide's good, flood's bad.

Seriously?
Ask New Orleans.

I'm telling you that
I'm feeling inadequate.

And you're
talking about boats. It's totally-

Hey, Sweets. Hey.
Come here. Hey.

Save Hodgins's life.
Hey.

Uh, don't you want
to finish your-

your fight?

Whoa, Sweets thinks
we were having a fight.

He clearly doesn't know
what a fight is.

I gotta go. I'm gonna figure out how our
victim's hand got slashed. I love you.

Hey. Sit down.

Are you okay?

Yeah. Why?

If I were a psychologist,
I'd say that you overreacted...

to the slightest disagreement
between me and Hodgins.

Because I'm at a turning point
in my own relationship.

I was gonna say that maybe you're
nervous about moving in with Daisy.

No. Um-Yeah, well,
I'm a little nervous.

You're getting cold feet.

No! Why would I?

It's-it's not like
we're getting married.

Moving in together is-is-You
know, it's a minor commitment.

Minor.

Oh, boy.
What?

Is it possible that maybe what you're
seeing as a minor commitment...

Daisy is seeing as-

The beginning of
a whole new life together.

Yeah.
Yeah.

It's like you never studied
psychology at all.

Yeah.

- You found something?
- Yeah. Keratin.

From a claw? Feline.

He was slashed by a cat? Yeah, but
not the kind that you're thinkin'.

Don't be so sure.

D.N.A. results from the epithelial cells
you found in the victim's boot tread.

Okay, if you say tiger,
then we are on the same page.

A Siberian tiger.

Wait-a purebred
Siberian tiger?

According to the D.N.A. Does the
type of tiger make a difference?

Yeah. See, buying and selling
crossbred tigers is legal.

But a purebred Siberian tiger,

I mean, that's-that's a felony.

Definitely motive for murder.

Well, it's only murder
if we can find cause of death.

I found cause of death. I should've seen
this earlier. I was a coroner in New York.

Wait. Seen what earlier?

Dr. Brennan said that
the splintering showed...

that the bullet entered through the palm
and exited through the back of the hand.

Yeah?

- Shoot me.
- I beg your pardon?

No-with the marker.
Shoot me.

Um-Okay, bang-

it was a defensive wound.

The bullet went through the victim's
hand and then into his face.

A hollow-point bullet.
ltexpanded entering the hand.

That's why we thought a
nine-millimeter entered his hand...

and a .45-caliber
entered his face.

One bullet, one gun,
one shooter.

Our victim was attacked by
a purebred Siberian tiger.

The wounds he sustained
gave him blood poisoning,

but he did not seek
medical help-Why?

That's what I'm asking you.

Because if he tells the hospital that
he was attacked by a Siberian tiger,

he ends up in prison, right?

Okay, the body was found here,
on the north side of the road.

- The road dead-ends in this valley.
- There's five farms there.

So, if the body was found on the north
side of the road, he was heading out.

- After delivering the tiger.
- Right.

Okay, so maybe the buyer of the
tiger sees the victim's wound,

realizes he's gonna
have to go to the hospital-

No, no. No, no,
that's too risky, okay?

Buying a tiger is a felony, Sweets.

Right, right, so, maybe...

the buyer offers to drive
the victim to the hospital,

kills him along this
deserted stretch of road.

You should search
those five farms for a tiger.

I don't have enough for a warrant, okay?
That's why you're here.

I don't understand. I need
you to put together...

some kind of psychological mumbo jumbo
warrant for these five farmers.

Booth, I'm a professional, okay? I can't just
make things up so you can get a warrant.

You're not helping me.
You-You-You're not.

Wouldn't it make more sense if I talked
to the guy that runs the pet expo?

I mean, maybe one of these farmers
is known to be an animal collector.

- That's a good idea.
- Thank you.

You know what? He's in
the interrogation room, okay?

You have at him right now.

You just-You just totally
conned me into doing that.

- Booth!
- Yeah.

Can I ask you
a personal question?

Well, that depends
how personal here.

Okay, um, was it a big deal for
you to move in with Dr. Brennan?

What do you mean? You know, big
deal, like... getting married.

Whoa-Living together is
not getting married, okay?

Getting married's
a big-boy commitment.

Okay, yes, yes.
I totally agree with that.

For me. But, for Bones,
that was a-

That was a huge step, you know?
Living together.

The only reason she even considered
it was because she was pregnant.

Okay, so... Dr. Brennan's the most
rational human being on the planet.

And, to her, moving in
together-Big deal.

Big.
Huge.

Huge. Huge.

Breathe it out, kid.
You'll get him.

Okay.

None of these names mean anything to me.
Who-Who are they?

We have reason to believe that one of them
bought a Siberian tiger on the black market.

Oh, here we go again.

Mr. Neibling, the victim
worked at the fairgrounds...

during the time of your pet
exposition, all right?

He was injured by
a Siberian tiger.

Maybe one of these-One of these
farmers made suspicious inquiries.

10,000 people
came through that expo.

We had over 200 exhibitors.

An innocent man is dead. We're
just exploring every avenue.

If he was transporting a purebred
Siberian tiger, then he was not innocent.

Okay, but he didn't
deserve to die.

See, I'm not sure
I agree with that.

These smugglers, they don't
care about the animals,

and they interfere
with my legitimate business.

Now, what happens if the press finds
out that you're questioning me?

My reputation goes
right into the toilet.

We won't leak your name
to the press.

All right, well, let me take the names.
I'll ask around.

If I hear anything suspicious, I'll get
back to you. Good. Thank you, sir.

I appreciate your help.

I love farms. Someday, Lance and
I will have a farm of our own.

The pet expo guys didn't recognize
any of the farmers' names.

Yeah, but what are the chances that a
guy is gonna buy a Siberian tiger...

with his real name anyway?

Oh! Oh! I could call in an anonymous
tip like-I hear roaring at night.

I was thinking along the lines of looking
at satellite photos on the Internet,

and seeing if any of the farms
shout “tiger.”

- That is brilliant.
- Okay, here they are.

Kind of grainy.

This is just what the government
allows us to see on the Internet.

You know they keep all
the good stuff for themselves.

Could those be
endangered animals?

Are blobs endangered?

Let me try a fractal
enlargement program.

I'm guessing cows.

Pigs! Which are not endangered.
Unless you factor in bacon.

- Are those cages?
- Yeah, they could be.

€œCould be” will not
get us a warrant.

Yeah, and these images haven't
been updated in over a year.

What we need is our own satellite.

Oh, we've got one!

All of Neibling's permits
are up to date.

There's no citations,
no violations.

He even got an “A” rating from
the Better Business Bureau.

Legality notwithstanding,

why would someone willingly
keep these animals as pets?

People who live where these
creatures are indigenous...

take great lengths to keep these
animals away from their homes.

Look, I'm with you, man. You want to
see a wild animal, go to the zoo.

Oh, I do not like zoos. What do you mean?
It's a zoo.

Keeping animals captive for human
entertainment is just wrong.

Come on! Don't ruin
the zoo for me.

I used to go with Pops. I
have great memories there.

I can't wait to take Christine.
No, that will not be happening.

It's educational, okay? if she doesn't go to the
zoo, how's she gonna learn about the animals?

The satellite system
you insisted that we buy...

provides us with
16 animal-themed channels.

One just for penguins.
It's not the same, okay?

The TV won't give you a balloon.

The balloons end up in the ocean
and very often choke seals.

Okay, all right, you know what?

Find something bad to say
about the kiddie train they have.

Burns fossil fuels just to go
round and round in circles.

Cotton candy.
Encourages Type 2 diabetes.

I could do this all day, Booth. Fine, fine.
Just know that someday,

we are getting
a dog for Christine.

Hmm, possibly.

Studies have shown that children who grow
up with dogs have stronger immune systems.

And you can play ball with them.

If you say so. I do say so.
And you know what?

We're gonna name him Gretzky.
Well, we'll see about that.

Yeah, it's Gretzky. Here, Gretzky!
Gretzky boy!

Come on, boy!
Gretzky!

I am using a World War II Spitfire, so...
I don't have a lot of range.

And I thought you didn't have a lot
of range 'cause you're using a toy.

A hobbyist does not play with toys.
He works with replicas.

All right, so,
you getting the signal?

Yeah, yeah, and I
like the replica, sweetie.

It's awesome.
Fine. I'm the bad guy.

All right, here we go.

Ooh, we're
getting a good signal.

A goat, more pigs, lots of cows.

Try to limit the play-by-play
to the exotic animals, Ms. Wick.

Well, I grew up in the city,
so they're all exotic to me.

Can you get any higher?

It's a Spitfire.

[ Saroyan 1 Cages!

Can you get
up under those trees?

Uh-huh.

- What are those?
- A camel! Zebra!

- Is that a wolf?
- A kangaroo!

You know, Booth can tell a judge that
we got this video from a hobbyist.

This is definitely enough
to get us a warrant.

Oh, no, no, no!

Ooh! Uh!

Aw.

Thomas Casey, F.B.l.!

Casey, open up!
We have a warrant!

Booth, the cages are over here,
but... I don't see a tiger.

Bones, wait up.
Bones!

There's a wolf,
a kangaroo, a zebra-

All legal, Bones.

The state doesn't even require
them to be registered.

Really? You have to
register for a dog but not a wolf?

This is horrible, Booth. None of these
animals should be kept like this.

If only you were president, Bones.
Hey!

- If only.
- Hey!

Hey! What are you doing?
You can't be here!

Whoa, whoa, whoa,
slow down there, okay?

F.B.l. We have a warrant.

For what? I haven't
done anything wrong.

What about these animals? They're
not meant to be kept as pets.

Hey, all these animals
are legal.

Well, we're here about
your Siberian tiger.

I don't know
what you're talking about.

You see a tiger?
Because I don't.

What I see is an empty cage over there.
You waiting for something?

I hope I can find a chimp.

Chimp?

Oh, my God.
What?

Carrion birds.
What? That's bad.

Go. Go!

GO! Go!

You shot it!
You killed it!

I had to. it was out of control-

Trying to get out
and go for the other animals.

Whoa, easy.
You shot your own tiger?

How could-
How could he do that?

- How could you do that?
- Easy, easy!

Relax.

All right, easy,
easy, easy, easy.

Okay. it's all right. It's gonna be
okay, Bones. Don't worry about it.

What I want to know is how many
things we can charge him with.

Well, we got him killing
an endangered species.

Does that carry
the death penalty?

$50,000 fine, a year in jail.

When I am president, killing tigers
will be a death penalty offense.

Well, the president isn't
actually a dictator, Bones.

That's right. I'll have to convince two
other branches of the government...

to execute animal traffickers.

You know what? You're very persuasive
when you set your mind to something.

That animal was beautiful.

It was beautiful and rare,
just like you.

You should leverage
the tiger buyer...

into ratting out whoever
he bought the tiger from.

I'm sorry. Did you hear what I said?
It was very sweet.

Maybe we can bring down the
entire criminal organization.

Right, let's do that.
Let's bring them all down.

I shot that tiger in self-defense.
It was a man-killer.

You're lying. We are
charging you with murder.

- For the tiger?
- No, for Jared Drew.

Who is Jared Drew?

He's the poor bastard who
delivered the tiger to your farm.

- He's dead?
- Yes, he's dead.

That guy was really sick.
He could barely stand up.

He probably died of
whatever disease he had.

We think that you offered
to drive him to the hospital.

Killed him on the way. And then
buried him at the side of the road.

I didn't drive him anywhere.

He was too sick to drive himself.
You said it yourself.

He didn't have to drive himself.
There was the other guy.

Other guy?
What other guy?

Two of them
brought me the tiger.

Well, what did the other one look like?
I don't know.

He waited in the truck.
I never got a good look.

- Yeah, well, we're still charging you with murder.
- But I didn't kill anyone.

Yeah, but purchasing that tiger, transporting
over a state line, that's a felony.

Someone dies in the commission
of that felony,

everyone involved
is guilty of homicide, pal.

Right there-
That's why, when I'm president,

you get appointed
to head up the F.B.l.

There we go.
Thank you.

- Who was the man in the truck?
- I don't know!

I'll tell you everything I do know.

- You write down that I cooperated.
- Sure, go ahead.

I'm looking online for cool
animals for my collection,

five clicks later, there's somebody
wants to sell a Siberian tiger.

You bought it online?

€œSiberian tiger available.
Serious inquiries only.”

No names.
Just a e-mail telling me...

to meet a guy named Juan
at the fairground,

give him half the money
in an envelope.

I only took an envelope
from the guy.

I didn't even know
what was inside.

Come on, Juan. You know what an
envelope full of cash feels like.

You took the money and
then delivered a tiger.

A tiger?
The money was for a tiger?

The envelope full of cash,
who'd you give it to?

- Mr. Neibling.
- What, Eric Neibling?

I don't know his first name, man.

It's Mr. Neibling, the boss. I give him
the envelope, he gives me 50 bucks.

He asks me to send him a good worker.
He gives me another 50.

You sent him Jared Drew.
Poor guy, man.

All he wanted was to make enough money and
hold his head high with his wife and kids.

You know what? This makes
complete sense to me now.

You saw the buyer's name on the list
that we gave you. So what do you do?

You call him up, you say,
“Quick, get rid of the tiger.”

Show me the phone records
you've got that prove that.

I thought so.

Something wrong with you?
You need a glass of water?

I got a stomach bug
or something.

He's sick.

- What you have is nascent osteonecrotic septicemia.
- Blood poisoning.

- You got it when you shot Jared Drew in the face.
- Right, from the blowback.

I got the sniffles
from shooting someone?

Come on, do you know how much
face time I have with the public?

He has to have a fragment of the
victim's bone somewhere in him.

- How big?
- A sliver, probably in his face.

You know what? I think I'm gonna leave.
Whoa, you're not going anywhere.

His face looks fine to me.
Sit down. Sit.

Where else does blowback hit?

Put your hands on the table.
I want a lawyer.

You're gonna need one.
Put your hands on the table.

Right-handed.
Right hand holds the gun.

If I went to the hospital and
they found out about the tiger,

I would've been ruined.

Look at that, huh?

You traded in 50 grand
and a year in jail...

for the death penalty.

- Lance!
- Hey.

- Welcome home.
- Why didn't you go in?

I thought we'd go in together.

Hey.

Is this your place?
Yeah.

Oh, wow, it looks great.
Yeah.

- We'd invite you in, but-
- Oh, that's okay.

We'll have a housewarming party
when we're settled.

You should carry her over the threshold.
Girls love that stuff.

Oh, don't bother. I had a lump on my head
for weeks, and he threw out his back.

Threshold-carrying is kind of a
marriage thing, and we're not actually-

We'll do it.
Lance is so strong.

Okay, well, we'll leave you to it.
Yeah, yeah.

All right.
See you guys.

Um, I'm not doing it.

I'll wrap my arms around your neck
and hang on. It will be easy.

No, I'm-I'm not going
into the apartment.

Oh, why? Because I-l
underestimated the meaning.

Which is ironic 'cause, you know,
I'm trained to discern nuance.

Stop talking like that.

When were you thinking
we'd get married?

I don't know. A year maybe.

Sooner if I get pregnant.

You want to get married
before we live together.

That's fine. My answer is yes.
No, no, no. I'm-

I'm not thinking about
getting married at all.

But we're moving in together.

Um, I misconstrued
the significance.

I got it all wrong.

I'm so sorry, um-

First month's rent and
last month's rent is paid.

So you have two months to
figure out what you want to do.

We're not moving in together?

We're breaking up.

I'm-

I'm really sorry.
I really am.

Caroline offered to drop the
charges to second-degree murder...

if Neibling gave us the name
of his suppliers. Good.

I hope Caroline puts 'em all
in little cages.

Right.

Did you know that Abraham
Lincoln was a bartender?

Grover Cleveland was a hangman.
Andrew Johnson was a tailor.

Well, I'm sure you would be
the smartest president.

I'm not sure.

James Garfield could simultaneously
write Latin with one hand...

and Greek with the other.

That's just a trick.

So now you think
I'd be a good president?

Uh, no, I don't.

You know, you're an atheist, you're not
diplomatic, and you think America is an empire.

America is an empire.

I really wouldn't give you your
own army or nuclear weapons.

That would just be a disaster.

- Because I'm like a tiger?
- Excuse me?

Earlier today, you said
I reminded you of a wild tiger.

I did. You do.

You called me rare and beautiful.
Like a tiger, you said.

I thought you didn't hear.

Wild tigers do not have the
qualities of a good president.

You know what, Bones?

I wouldn't vote for you, but I would definitely
encourage other people to vote for you.

That's irrational.

Yeah, well,
so is politics and love.

I think you were
trying to convey...

that you no longer would like
to discuss politics.

Unless we're talking about J.F.K. and
Marilyn Monroe.

Booth, what are you doing?

Where are you going?
Bones!

What's that mean?