Bones (2005–2017): Season 7, Episode 7 - The Prisoner in the Pipe - full transcript

Small parts from a completely messed-up corps float in the sewage system. A lens implants serial number allows identifying the victim as Lazebnik, a convict presumed escaped weeks before. Booth, in overprotective father to be mode, and cocky Bones, who insists on giving birth out of hospital, visit the prison, where Lazebnik was badly abused since arrival. Sweets is flattered that Booth asks him 'as a friend' to talk sense into Bones and put the baby's safety first.

[Child Giggling]

[Girl] No, Daddy, I
can't. Don't make me.

Sweetie, there's no
monster in the toilet.

I promise you, princess. Okay?

I poop by myself.

And mommy poops
by herself. Right?

You can too. Look at
you. You are a big girl now.

But I'm scared.

That's okay, sweetie. It's okay.

We're all scared sometimes.

But that's why you get to have
as much ice cream as you want.



And... a cat.

Okay? Okay.

Go ahead, sweetie.

Daddy's gonna stay
right here, princess.

That's a good girl.
Good, brave girl.

Everything's gonna
be just fine. I promise.

I want a brown cat and a turtle.

[Screams]

- What's the matter?
- [Screaming Continues]

[Both Screaming]

You'll receive excellent
care at St. George's.

Our maternity facilities are
number one in all categories.

Including the incidence
of staph infection.

No, this is a great hospital,
okay? They got great doctors.



Plus, they have the best
lactation specialist in the world.

She's so good, I bet she
could teach me how to lactate.

You've made your preference for our baby
being born in a Catholic hospital very clear.

Catholic has nothing
to do with it, okay?

It's an outstanding
hospital, all right?

I want a home birth
where I can control things.

It's a lot safer in the
hospital, Bones. Come on.

No, on the contrary, hospitals
are breeding grounds...

for antibiotic-resistant
super germs...

leading to a high incidence of E.
Coli and staphylococcus infection.

I'm sorry. Is that
true? No, no. No.

[Brennan] Based on the
spatter patterns and viscosity,

I see indications of blood,
blood, cerebrospinal fluid,

amniotic fluid,
blood, more blood.

- Is there a problem back there?
- [Cell Phone Rings]

- Don't touch anything!
- Brennan.

Oh, Cam just found
an eyeball in a toilet.

[Booth] Oh. I didn't
check the toilets.

Let's get out of here.

Great tour. Great hospital.

We'll be in touch, all right?

I'll get that lactation specialist's
number from ya, all right?

Don't need that. Right. We're
gonna... This is a great spot.

There are no signs of anyone being
killed or dismembered in the house.

Which means the remains must
have come up through the pipe.

Wow! Okay, the rest of the
body's probably blocking the lines.

This kid is gonna have some
serious issues with toilet training, huh?

Okay, I have a sphenoid and what looks
like several fragments of the maxilla.

You're good. I'm still trying
to get ahold of this eyeball.

Hey, how did the, uh,
hospital tour go? May I?

Booth liked it. But he seems
very comfortable around germs.

Yeah. Boys are like that.

It was a great hospital... shiny
machines, masks all over the place.

Exactly what you need when you're
about to have a baby. Right, Bones?

I'll need more bones if we're gonna
learn anything about this victim.

Oh, local cops say roots
clogged up the sewer lines,

and stuff is backing up
all over the neighborhood.

Question is, how did the vic
wind up in so many pieces?

The deceased could have become
trapped in the sewer and then decomposed.

Which I have never seen,
but I'd certainly like to.

- I could write a paper
and... and cite you.
- It's okay, Bones.

Maybe the victim was flushed
down more than one toilet.

Another fascinating prospect.

Okay. Sorry I asked.

Animals could have eaten
the tendons and the cartilage,

causing him to break
apart into multiple pieces.

Bones, you don't have to get so
excited, okay? This is not a game.

Yes, yes! A winner. Ooh.

[Laughing] Good one.

Whoo!

Oh. Sorry.

These are from the
species Ailanthus altissima.

It originated in China, where
it's called Tree of Heaven,

and we find it
clogging a sewer pipe.

There's a joke in there somewhere,
if anyone wants to knock it loose.

- Thanks. I'll pass.
- I see the irony. I don't see the joke.

But this stage in my pregnancy,

my I.Q. could be eight to
10 points lower than normal.

Which is why we all need to pitch
in and help out every way we can.

I'm becoming a certified doula.

You aren't getting anywhere
near my cervix, Ms. Wick.

Just saying, should
you find yourself in need.

I could stop at the perineum.

What I need to know...

is what progress you've
made with the bones.

We only have fragments, so
it's difficult to determine much.

But since there's no
duplication of elements,

the remains originate
from one victim.

And I have found enough bones
that form the maxillary sinus...

to indicate the victim is male.

A man in pieces in a sewer.

Well, at least we're
getting somewhere.

The lady care for some tendon?

Why, thank you,
sir. My favorite cut.

Run your headlamp
over the table again.

He has a lens implant.

Huh.

[Saroyan] And it
has a serial number.

We can I.D. our victim.

Nice, Dr. Brennan.

[Whistles] Yeah. I'll
have a cup of black.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait,
whoa. What is that thing?

We're trying to rub out
Mocha Joe's down the street.

Ooh. What can you tell me
about the, uh, spice-a-chino?

It's like a cappuccino,

but with four different spices.

Just get on with this, so I
don't have to look at that thing.

What do you have against a
cappuccino machine? This is a diner.

I come here because there
is no cappuccino machine.

You understand? Some
things, they need to be sacred.

Right? Preserved. All right?

In this country, there is a line
between coffee and foamy crap.

And when that line gets blurred,
people, they become animals.

- You okay?
- No! No, I'm not okay.

I'm not dunkin' my doughnut
into some cappuccino!

That's not why I joined the army. I
didn't join the army for that, you know?

- We'll take two regular
coffees, please. Thanks.
- Two black.

Let's sit. What?

- Let's sit down.
- [Bell Dings]

[Exhales] Uh...
[Chuckles] Gotta be honest.

Tiny issue, somewhat...
Somewhat oversized reaction.

What's goin' on? [Exhales]

Okay, I, uh... Okay.

Okay. Mm-hmm?

I need to ask you for some help.

Here you go, boys. Look at that.

Black coffee.

Bones, she wants to
have the baby at the home.

And I wanna have the baby
at the hospital. And you know...

Have you discussed
this with her?

She's dug her heels in.
Come on. You know Bones.

What do you want me to do? She's not gonna
listen to you, she's not gonna listen to me.

Okay, look. I'm thinking that maybe
you have some of that heavy-duty,

in-case-of-emergency shrinky
stuff that you could throw at her.

You know, that... Look,
I'm desperate. I'm desperate.

Yeah. I'm not... See, I'm not
really supposed to, um, take sides...

when it comes to coworkers
and personal issues.

No, no, no. It's not comin'
from a coworker place here.

Look, it's, uh... I'm
asking you as a friend.

Oh.

I'm touched.

That's nice to hear you
acknowledge me as a friend.

So, you'll do it?
That's what friends do.

[Imitates Explosion] [Laughs]

Right. We should... We should
do more stuff together, right?

I mean, we don't...
We don't ever...

Let's grab a beer sometime
for the heck of it. Watch soccer.

Soccer? Why not?

Baby steps. Okay? Okay.

First, let's deal with
the hospital thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Right, friend?

[Ringing] All right. Booth.

I cross-checked the serial
number on the lens implant...

against the manufacturer's
database, and a name came up.

- Rob Lazebnik.
- Lazebnik. That name
sounds familiar.

Did you, uh, run it
through the N.C.I.C.?

Yep. Lazebnik was a fugitive.

He escaped from the federal
penitentiary at Jamestown four weeks ago.

Well, it looks like he
was better off behind bars.

So someone killed my
husband. No surprise there.

He was ripping off his
clients. It was a Ponzi scheme.

Like a Bernie Madoff?
[Chuckles] If only.

Madoff's wife ended up
with something to live on.

Rob burned through
everything he ever had.

Must have been fun while
it lasted. Oh, yeah, for him.

He got to act
like a high roller.

He blew it all at casinos,
buying fancy yachts.

And there were
plenty of hookers.

There wasn't a dime left for me.

Right. So who did your
husband try to contact...

after he escaped from prison?

For help? Nobody.

Robby burned
every bridge he had.

Which means that leaves
you. Did he try and contact you?

Not a chance.

I told that son of a bitch
I would slit his throat...

if he ever tried to
talk to me again.

Really?

It's a figure of speech. Right.

Probably best you don't leave
town during this investigation.

Don't worry. I can't afford to.

Almost all of the bones appear to
have been fractured postmortem.

Yeah, well, they were probably broken
up so they could fit down the drain.

Booth is pressuring me to
have the baby in a hospital.

Well, that's not his decision.

Booth says that he's worried
about complications, but I'm healthy.

And I don't mean to be boastful,
but my mucosal plug is superb.

All right. Girl's got good plug.

And now we all know.

I ran a tox screen on the ocular
fluid, and it came back negative.

Which eliminates
poison as cause of death.

You have anything?

There's a fragment
of the right ninth rib...

with striations that are
consistent with a stab wound.

But there's so little evidence,

it would be irresponsible for me
to form a conclusion at this point.

Come on. Just this once.

No. [Saroyan] You can do it.

Just say it's a
stabbing. I can't.

We'll think you're
cool if you do.

Well, I wanna be cool.

But I can't.

It's okay, honey. We still
love you just the same.

[Whirring]

[Gasps] It's adorable!

What else can you make it do?

This is not a toy.

Who am I kidding?
It's the coolest toy ever.

It's a Sewerbot.

And right now, its identical twin is
about to crawl into the sewer pipes...

by the house with
the magic toilet.

Now, your job is
to stare at muck.

Give a shout if you see
anything that could be evidence.

[Clears Throat]

Hmm. Nothing here.

Nothing yet.

Nothing now.

Nope.

Still nothing.

Nothing there.

Nada. Nothing.

Is that really
necessary? I thought...

You're right.

[Exhales] Mm-mmm.

Mm-mmm.

Mm-mmm. Mm...

Do you think I overstepped my
bounds by becoming a doula?

Yes. No, really.

Yes, really.

But it was so nice of me.

It's more creepy than
nice. You're joking.

Wish I was. [Shouts]

Oh, God! Okay, yes.
I'm sorry. I was joking.

No. I found a partial
scapula. You said shout.

[Stammering] Mm...

[Sighs]

We have a lot of work today. I don't understand
why we have to spend any of it with Sweets.

Bureau procedure. You
know how it is. Right, Sweets?

Yeah. Yeah. So I need to, uh...

I need to do a partner
assessment to see how you function,

so Agent Booth can be paired with
the proper person while you're on leave.

I've never heard of such an
assessment. Well, it's new.

You know how the
Bureau is. [Sweets] Yeah.

[Brennan] Fine.

- Then assess me.
- Let's hurry it along
here, Sweets.

Okay. Uh, first question.

Would you describe
yourself as overly cautious,

uh, appropriately cautious...

or a risk taker?

Appropriately cautious.

Okay. Do you tend to make
decisions based on gut instinct...

or on expertly compiled data?

The latter.

It's... All right.

Question three.

How would it affect your
decision-making process if, uh,

expertly compiled data
proved something conclusively...

despite your belief system?

I'd have to have an
example. An example.

Um, I don't know.
Uh, out of nowhere?

Uh, say, the safest
place to give birth...

is in a well-respected
hospital or...

Why are you looking
at me like that?

You are using this partner assessment
to influence me on a personal matter.

That is extremely
unethical. Wait.

Assuming that psychologists
have ethics. I don't know.

Okay. Dr. Brennan, perhaps the emotions
that you're experiencing during pregnancy...

are affecting what should be
a carefully reasoned decision.

I mean, for your sake and the baby's, the
safest place to give birth is a hospital.

No, that's not true. Are you
the one who has to undergo...

wave after wave of
mind-searing pain...

that only ends after a
writhing, screaming object...

the size of a, uh...
A jack-o'-lantern...

pushes its way
through your vagina?

No.

- I thought you used
the word "watermelon."
- I couldn't think of the word.

When you give birth to a baby,
you can make the decisions.

Right now, I don't want to hear any
more about this from you. Understood?

- Yes, ma'am.
- Sweets.

The two of you should
be ashamed of yourselves!

- Nice going.
- Oh, okay, okay.

It wasn't my finest moment,
but we'll get through this together.

If anything, it'll make our
friendship stronger. No soccer.

Don't say that.

This looks like part of
his tibia. And some teeth.

Yeah, well, enjoy
it, 'cause it's our last.

The Sewerbot's reached
the end of the line.

Why would there
be bars in a sewer?

I don't know.

Because the sewer line ends
at Jamestown federal prison.

Wait a minute. This
guy never escaped.

He was killed in prison and
then dumped in the sewer.

Jamestown's a
hard-core lockup, all right,

so just stay close to me.

No eye contact. And I want you to
keep an arm's length from the bars.

Prisoners won't hurt a child.
It's one of their strongest taboos.

And since I am obviously
just a few weeks from delivery,

I feel quite confident
I will be safe.

Okay. Work with me
on this, okay, Bones?

- You have to learn
how to compromise.
- I can compromise.

I'm willing to let you have
our daughter baptized.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Children need mythology. It
helps them make sense of the world.

My religion is not a myth.

I'm an author, Booth.

I understand how narrative
works, and so does your Bible.

A pregnant woman
is about to give birth.

She finds an inn, but they
won't let her stay there,

so she's forced to
give birth in a barn.

Whoever wrote that really knew
how to manipulate an audience.

Well, it happened. Fine.

You can baptize our daughter, and I
will make sure that she's born at home.

Perfect compromise.

[Saroyan] Anything
new, Ms. Wick?

We have so many pieces of bone, and I
haven't found any evidence of kerf marks.

So, he wasn't cut up
with a knife or a saw.

Absolutely not. His
bones are fractured.

[Exhales]

Do you smell roses?
Yes. Rosewater.

It's a uterine relaxant. I
learned about it in doula class.

Uh, it's inert, so it won't
compromise the bones.

You put rosewater on the bones?

Yep! So, when Dr. Brennan's working,
she will also be relaxing, uterinely.

And the bones needed a little freshening
up after four weeks in the sewer.

Who... Who wouldn't?

Not all these breaks
happened after he died.

I found some remodeled
fracturing of the manubrium,

the distal end of the left
clavicle and two of the upper ribs.

Those breaks occurred
about a year ago.

That's when
Lazebnik went to jail.

He must've been
beaten when he got there.

[Buzzer Buzzes]

[Chattering]

Found him in the yard today.

Don't chew it.

So, Lazebnik's remains show
evidence that he was beaten a year ago.

No surprise there. The food
here's all cooked by the inmates.

- The beef stew isn't half bad.
- So you know about
the beatings?

He was probably beaten to
learn the prison hierarchy. Exactly.

Hey, you want some
beef stew, you let me know.

My wife was always
starving before she burst.

Thank you, but I'm a
vegetarian. So's my wife.

Except when she's pregnant. Then she can't
eat enough cow. You should try the lasagn...

I'm not your wife. Lazebnik was
dumped into the sewer system in pieces.

I'll need to see the blueprints for the prison
to see what drains could have been used.

Sure. Operations
should have those. Right.

How about a cookie
then? Who did it, pal?

- I baked it myself.
- No, the beating.

Which one of these
Boy Scouts beat him?

It's impossible to tell.
They pick their target.

They form a ring around. You can't
see inside. Then they go to town on him.

Another prisoner jumped in and broke it
up before any of us guards got out there.

You know who broke it
up? Yep. He's right there.

Haze Jackson. But he won't talk.

Ha. Let me give him a try.
You check out the blueprints.

So, Daisy said the bones
were so fragmented...

that it could take days to piece
them back together by hand.

So I did a digital
reconstruction.

Now, the red indicates the
bones that we're missing.

Dr. Brennan found striations
on the right ninth rib...

that indicated the
possibility of a stab wound.

Once we had more
bones to look at,

I found a nick on the anterior
aspect of the L1 vertebra...

that confirmed the victim
was stabbed in the abdomen.

Of course it was a stab wound.
Why couldn't she just say it?

Because she's Brennan.

Okay, so, the knife
went in at the rib...

and stopped when
it hit the spine.

That's nine inches and change.

And it'd be difficult to find
a knife that long in prison.

Hmm. What if he doubled over?

This compresses the distance
between the rib and the L1.

Yes, to 3.75 inches.

Is it possible to add the major
abdominal blood vessels?

Sure.

If the weapon began at the
right ninth rib and nicked the L1,

the inferior vena cava
would be directly in its path.

That would cause massive
internal hemorrhaging.

Looks like we have
our cause of death.

If they say I knew Lazebnik,
then I guess I knew him.

But I didn't help him escape.

I've only got two
weeks left in here.

I wouldn't risk screwing up now.

Lazebnik didn't escape.
What do you mean?

He was killed in here. What?

Yeah. Do they know who did it?

No, but you should.

We know you stepped in and saved Lazebnik
from getting a beating about a year ago.

So, we know you two were
looking out for each other, right?

I just did what I would
do for a friend. That's it.

Tell me about the beating.
Who was after him?

I told you.

I'm getting released
in two weeks.

But it ain't gonna mean
much if I'm dead before that.

I can make sure
that doesn't happen.

- Not a chance.
- Fine. I'll just
extend your stay.

You can't do that. Oh, yeah?

Impede, uh, a federal murder
investigation, see what happens, okay?

Thank you.

Okay!

[Man] Fifteen minutes.

Okay.

The last time I saw Lazebnik,

the warden had just pulled
him off his job in accounting...

because she needed to see him.

Why? Dude was in here for
financial fraud or whatever.

Then he does the
books for this place.

Put it together yourself.

All I know is...

he went to the warden's office,
and I never saw him again.

Just don't say you
heard it from me.

They sic a guard on me,

I might wind up in a
wheelchair for the rest of my life.

I don't know how Lazebnik
got assigned to accounting.

Is that not your responsibility?

I have a lot of responsibilities.
That's why I delegate.

When I found out where he was
assigned, I pulled him off the job.

That's all that matters.

There are over 500 drains that
Lazebnik could've been dumped in.

It would take weeks for us to
check every single one of 'em.

Should you be on a case? You look
like you're ready to give birth here.

That's exactly why we'd like to
move this along. Shall we now?

I don't know how he got
the job in the first place,

but it was a no-brainer for me to transfer
him once I found some funds had gone missing.

Gone missing? I'm sorry. Why
didn't you tell me that on the phone?

Lazebnik siphoned off a
small amount... less than 500.

- I nipped it in the bud.
- Doesn't make you look good,
now, does it?

A prisoner stealing from you.

Rob Lazebnik was a
criminal, and criminals steal.

There was nothing
unusual about it.

The judge would've given him
another six months. [Cell Phone Rings]

- [Cell Phone Rings, Beeps]
- This is Brennan.

I've got a new one for your big
book of stereolithographic firsts.

I don't have that book. Okay.

Doesn't matter.

I used the vector points of the
victim's internal wounds... [Beeping]

to make a negative
of the murder weapon.

And from that, I could print
out a positive 3-D image of it.

It's conical, 3.75 in length.

It's a shiv.

The dimensions of the murder
weapon indicate that it was a shiv.

So when's the last time
you tossed the cells?

We did a full sweep
just last week.

Oh. Wow.

Knock yourself
out. All right. Wow.

There's a lot of 'em
here, huh, Bones?

Lots of blood too.

This is really excellent
field technique.

Each one of these shivs is tagged with the
number of the cell in which it was found.

It will be useful if I find
the likely murder weapon.

Bones, don't you think you'd
be better off back in the lab?

No. We are far
more effective on-site.

Plus, we have the
equipment from the infirmary.

You're about to pop, and I'm looking
at 148 homemade murder weapons.

I think you'd be better off
back at the lab. More effective.

- Okay, let's go.
- Booth, look at this one.

It's nasty. It matches
the photo Angela sent us.

I am quite certain this
is the murder weapon.

Eh, we could have a winner, huh?

The tag on this one says that it
was found in cell number Y2O3.

Y2O3 isn't a cell. It's
an area of the yard.

- Who has access to that?
- Every convict who isn't
sick or in solitary.

Looks like this is
made from paper.

- Paper?
- Strong, heavy stock.

Tightly compressed,
glued together.

It's a very effective weapon.

[Booth] Now what?

There's something
printed on this.

If Angela can find out where this paper came
from, it might lead us back to the killer.

How's it goin'?

Not well.

I thought if I sat at Dr. Brennan's desk
and looked at these bones like she does,

it would clarify things for me.

Eh! It's no use! I
still can't figure it out!

There are no kerf marks at the ends
of the humeri, the tibias or either femur.

Uh, why is that a problem?

Because it means that the body wasn't
dismembered with a cutting implement.

I have no idea how the
remains were broken up.

- You'll get it.
- You know what might help?

No. No, uh, Da... We can't.

Not in this office.
Not in any office.

Well, I need a distraction.

It clears the mind.

Daisy, we can't!
The walls are glass.

We don't have to
take off all our clothes.

And those crates will block us.

I know you want
to. I don't. I don't.

Your nose is growing, Pinocchio.

All right. [Laughing]

Oh, wait, Lance! [Giggling]

Ooh!

Oh, no! Oh, no.

- Wait a minute.
- Really?

There's micro-pitting on these.

And I totally missed the point.

I thought it was decomp
from the sewage, but it's not.

It means the bones
were exposed to acid.

That could be how the
body was dismembered.

See, I told you that I just
needed to clear my mind.

- This is great!
- Not so much for me.

I have to show
these to Dr. Hodgins.

Now?

Uh-huh!

Thank you, Lancelot! Thank you!

[Sighs]

All right.

Oh. Hi. I was looking for, uh...

Hmm. I dropped
a thing down here.

Why is my coat like that? I
looked... I was looking for...

I'm down here
'cause I... I lost a...

[Sighs]

[Man Shouting]

Whoo-hoo-hoo! Ho-ho!

This is the Mailbox Works.

The prison's been building them
for the postal service since 1957.

And they use acid
in the process? Sure.

They clean the mailboxes in an
acid bath before the paint goes on.

- Hydrochloric.
- Definitely could've dropped
a body in there, Bones.

Certainly large enough.

I'll take samples and have
them sent back to the lab...

to see if the acid matches
the damage to the bones.

Look, I need a roster of the work crew
for the night that Lazebnik disappeared.

You got it? You got it.

[Man] Yeah, I've been supervisor of the
Mailbox Works for over a year now. So?

So, Lazebnik, he took advantage
of your parents, didn't he, huh?

- Wiped out their
entire life savings?
- I'm sayin' nothin'.

Somebody does that to my
family, I'd wanna kill him too.

What would I do? I'd
make myself a shiv.

I didn't make no shiv. You're in
charge of the paint crew, aren't you?

You could've easily disposed
of the body in the acid bath.

Look, I didn't kill Lazebnik.
I never killed anybody.

You gave him a good beating
when he showed up in Jamestown.

- What was that,
about a year ago?
- Who told you about that?

That was a lucky guess.

You're getting things out of me
I didn't say, so we're done here.

I'll tell you when we're done.

I may have to sit here.
Nothin' I can do about that.

But I'm sayin' nothin'
else without a lawyer, so...

[Booth] There you go.
Trust me, okay? He's the guy.

Okay, what, I'm just
supposed to accept your hunch?

He's got motive. He's got
his own personal acid bath.

What more do you want? That is all
circumstantial, Booth, and you know it.

You're pressuring
me. You look tired.

I mean, you look
exhausted. I can see it.

You've been on
your feet all day.

These guys aren't going anywhere.
We can come back tomorrow.

Let's just... Let's just get back
home. We'll get some sleep.

We'll come back if we have to.

Look, Bones, you're
not Superwoman, okay?

You're nine months pregnant.
You can't overexert yourself.

Even you know that.

Look at me. Hey.

I love you.

And if anything happens
to this child, I would die.

So let's just go
home, get some rest.

We'll come back
here tomorrow. Okay?

Okay. Here we go.

That's it. I'll make your
favorite soup. [Cell Phone Rings]

Oh. Brennan. Tomato.

I just finished testing
hydrochloric acid on some bone,

all different concentrations.

The micro-pitting
does not match.

There is another kind
of acid in that prison.

Now what? We have to go back in.

No, we do not
have to go back in.

It wasn't hydrochloric acid, Booth.
There's some other acid in there.

I know how fast
word travels in prison.

And the killer could be
destroying evidence already.

No, Bones, we don't have to go
back in. Let's just turn around and...

What did I just say? We
don't have to go back in.

[Alarm Beeps] We
have to do this, Booth.

I'll give you 15 minutes.

I need to find out if there's
another source of acid in the prison.

And I need you to
do that fast for us.

There's only hydrochloric in the
Mailbox Works. I can't think of any other.

- [Groans]
- Bones, you all right?

Yes. It's just Braxton
Hicks contractions.

I've been having them for the
past month. [Cell Phone Rings]

Then that's exactly why
we should... Brennan.

[Alarm Beeping] Oh!

I was able to restore part of the text
from the paper scraps that you sent me.

One contains a
fraction... one-third.

And the letters
A-R-G-A-R. Turn around.

It comes from the
word "margarine."

And the one-third is
a one-third of a cup.

The papers were from a cookbook.

Eight different pages. Well, is
there any way to tell which cookbook?

I ran the typeface through the
Library of Congress database,

and I got the name and
the date of publication...

and a lot of tips on how
to cook for prisoners.

It's the Gordon Institutional
Recipe Index, 1993 edition.

Apparently prisoners
really like cookies.

Okay, we need a copy of The
Gordon Institutional Recipe Index.

The 1993 edition. There should
be at least eight pages missing.

- I have no idea what that is.
- That'll be in the kitchen, ace.

Oh, sure. Uh, I'll get
it for you right now.

No, just show us
where the kitchen is.

I'd like to see it in
context. No, no, no.

You're gonna sit tight,
okay? I'll go get it. Why?

'Cause I don't want our baby
born in a prison. Why not?

Their infirmary is an
accredited health care facility.

Isn't that what you wanted?

That drain by the coffee makers,

uh, is big enough
to flush the bones.

Hey, look at that,
Bones. No screws.

- Found it.
- Found it. Okay, great. Let's head back. Come on.

Come on.

And there's pages missing.

Whoever ripped these out must've
left their prints on the opposite page.

- Let's head to the lab
so you can pull the prints.
- No time.

- We have to lift
the prints here.
- We don't have a print kit.

We do now.

Cocoa. Right. Cocoa.

[Guard] Cocoa?

I'll send these
prints to Angela.

I found some particulates in the
pitting. Ran them through the mass spec.

They turned out to
be a synthetic rubber.

Look, this formulation
is made by one...

and only one manufacturer...
In Dayton, Ohio.

They use it to make
shoes for prisoners.

Yes, of course!

His bones would be super brittle after
being immersed in hydrochloric acid.

The killer stomped on his
bones so they'd fit down a drain.

And that's how the rubber
got on them. We are brilliant!

Yeah. Except it wasn't
hydrochloric acid.

And there don't seem to be
any other acids at the prison.

Angela said that Lazebnik
was killed with a cookbook.

Are there any acids in a
kitchen? Hmm, I mean, vinegar.

But a little hard to dissolve
someone in salad dressing.

Unless...

This is gonna be
good, isn't it? I hope so.

Yes, it is. It is
very, very good.

You can take vinegar and
evaporate it down to acetic acid.

That would match the
micro-pitting we found on the bones.

Actually, I found the pitting.

But this acetic acid
thing is awesome too.

[Saroyan] This looks like
my mom's old muffin recipe.

Only she used about
20 pounds less flour.

[Angela] Brennan did a
great job with these prints.

I'm gonna run them
through the F.B.I. database.

The Bureau of
Prisons has a database,

and you can limit the search
to the Jamestown facility.

Ooh.

Got it.

[Saroyan] Haze Jackson.

And look at his file.

He works in the
kitchen. [Buzzer Buzzes]

Jackson dissolves Lazebnik in the
acid and then stomped on his bones...

until they could be
flushed down the drain.

He never had to leave
the kitchen. Okay, perfect.

You solved it. Now let's go.
No, I need Jackson's shoes.

There should be bone fragments in
the soles that will tie him to the murder.

Okay, fine. I'll do it, not you.

No, it's too dangerous for you,
Booth. They won't touch me.

I'm pregnant. We're not
gonna test that here, Bones.

- Haze Jackson?
- Hey, hey, hey, hey!

- I want Haze Jackson!
- Hey, Bones!

Step off, man. Can't
you see she's pregnant?

- Haze Jackson!
- Get out of my way. Bones!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey.

Bones! She's
pregnant. Move back.

I want Haze Jackson!

I don't know, man. She's
calling for somebody.

[Shouting]

Bones!

Hey, hey, hey, whoa,
whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Haze! Bones!

[Alarm Buzzing]

Bones!

Bones!

[Booth] Bones!

- Haze!
- Bones!

- Bones!
- [Man] Get out of the way. The lady's pregnant.

Haze!

Hey, get back!

Mr. Jackson, I want your shoes!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

He wouldn't have hurt me, Booth.

Oh, okay. Well, I'm
being overprotective.

- [Whistle Blows]
- Get down!

- Hands behind your head!
- Get down!

On the ground! Now!
Nobody move! [Alarm Buzzes]

Oh, you risked your life
protecting this Lazebnik guy.

- Why'd you kill him?
- Because he was gonna pay me.

Then you found out that
Lazebnik didn't have anything left.

He played me!

Uh, get his shoes.
We have to run.

- Why? Where you goin'?
- I'm in labor!

Right. She's in labor
now. Labor? Bones!

Labor. Labor. Labor.
Okay. There we go.

Rushing. Here.
Watch your step there.

[Tires Screeching] Just
keep breathing heavily.

There's a hospital up ahead
about 10 miles or so. [Screams]

Oh! Oh! Stupid road!
Stupid, stupid road!

Sorry, Bones. I'm burning
up. Will you turn off the heat?

I got the A.C. blasting in
here. Oh, God. You're in labor!

Oh, I'm in a very
uncomfortable position!

Okay, just relax. Just try to
relax. Try to put the seat back.

Decline. Try to
breathe this out!

We're gonna be at the
hospital within a half an hour.

We're not gonna have this
baby at a hospital, Booth.

Yes, we are. We're having
the baby in a hospital.

There's no argument anymore. I'm not arguing!
We're not gonna make it to a hospital.

Just pull over.
We're gonna make it!

Pull over now!

Okay. Okay. Okay. I'm
pulling over. [Groaning]

All right. Oh!

- [Brakes Squeal] - All right.
Stay right there. D-Don't move.

Breathe. Hey, you.
Yes, I need a room.

May I help you?
I'm having a baby.

No, we're having... She's
having a baby. I need a room.

No, no. No, no, no.
I'm sorry. No room.

I'm going to have to
ask you to move on.

There is a hospital about
10 miles down the road.

She's not gonna make it. Sir,
please. Keep your voice down.

- We are totally booked here.
- Havin' a baby.

This country's most important
wine connoisseurs and sommeliers...

have paid $5,000 each
for tonight's event. [Groans]

- [Screams]
- Hear that? She's gonna
have the baby in the car...

if you don't get us
a room right now!

Is that what you want? Try to
see this from my perspective.

I have laid out $50,000
for this weekend,

even purchased a
case of '62 Margaux.

If I have to refund
their money, I am done.

[Screams] I'm about to
push this baby out right now!

And if you don't find me a place to
do that, I'm gonna get outta this car,

squat down on the lawn
and have this baby right here!

She'll squat on the
lawn. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Th-There is a lovely building around
back that you can use. Where? Where?

Just down the drive. Okay.
There's no availability at the inn.

I can't believe this.
Okay. Coming in.

There's no...
There's no available...

Hurry up! Right. Gotcha. Okay.

[Brennan Cries Out]

Shh. Shh.

Breathe. All right?

I'm so sorry, Bones. Why?

Look where we are. I should've
been able to make it to the hospital.

It's not your fault.
This is a perfect place.

This is a perfect place.

And children who grow up on farms
develop far fewer allergies and...

[Groans] respiratory
issues! All right.

Right. Okay. [Blusters]

[Shouts] Okay. Yeah.

It's hard not to believe in a higher power when
you've just been turned away from the inn...

and you're about to
give birth in a manger.

That doesn't make your
mythology true, okay?

You're not gonna start with that
again? Are we? I really... Not now.

- What?
- I wanna push.

Right! Push! Oh, okay. Easy,
easy, easy, easy. Hold on.

Hold on. Okay. All
right. Whoa! Oh, all right.

You're gonna push?
Push. Push, Bones!

[Shouts] That's it. There we go.

Good job. [Panting]

There's some things
that you just can't explain.

Why can't you just admit that
there's a mystery to life, Bones?

Oh! Oh! All right. You're
doin' good. You're doin' good.

- Okay, push. Push out.
- [Both Shouting]

[No Audible Dialogue]

[Screaming]

You're doing great, okay?
Just get ready to push.

All right. You're getting really
close. I can see her head. Push.

You're doin' great,
Bones. [Shouting]

Push! Push! [Shouting]

[Baby Crying] [Laughing]

[Crying]

All righty. There you go.

Oh. Hey, easy. Easy.

[Laughing]

Hi.

Look at that. Hi.

[Brennan] Oh. Hi! Oh!

[Crying] [Laughing]

- It's all right.
- There is a mystery to life.

[Laughing]

Hi. Hi! Look at that.

Will you just look at
that? Oh, you're beautiful!

Wow. Hey.

Hey, it's your dad.

Look at us. Hey.

We're a family.

♪♪ [Alt Pop] [Woman] ♪ The
world's yours when you turn 18 ♪

♪ And you feel like you
could have anything ♪

♪ Which way will you go? ♪

♪ 'Cause it's a
great big world ♪

♪ And you're rolling down ♪

♪ Rolling down ♪

Bones, just be
careful comin' in.

Is someone here? Stay there.

- Surprise!
- Oh, hey. Look at that.

- [Cheering]
- Hi. Hey.

- Let me see her.
- Oh, wait, wait. Don't move.

Wash your hands first.

Actually, the more exposure she
has to germs in her formative years,

the stronger her
immune system will be.

That's it. Here you go. A
little sanitizer never hurt.

Right? Just remember that.

Oh, she is beautiful.

I know.

Oh, Lance, we need
to make one of those.

We'll, uh, talk.

Wow. Worthy of a manger.

Uh, and we brought you
dinners for the next few nights.

And we got some
diapers and some towels...

because they do
like to spit up a lot.

- [Cork Pops]
- And some champagne, because
you can drink it now.

[Chattering]
[Booth] Look at that.

Champagne, huh, Bones?

What is that? "Welcome, Stapes"?

Oh, it's the smallest
bone of the human body.

Well, we didn't
know her name, so...

Thanks.

She's so lucky
to have all of you.

[Coos] She's up.

So, what is her name?

Well, we named her
after Bones's mom.

Christine.

Our daughter's name
is Christine. [Chuckling]

- [Hodgins] Oh!
- [Daisy] Oh!

Christine Angela.

Oh, my God.

[Squeals]

♪♪ [Alt Pop] ♪♪ [Man Vocalizing]

- To Christine Angela.
- Welcome home.

Christine Angela.

[Daisy] Welcome.

[Man] ♪ Life is too
far to walk alone ♪

♪ You can't do it on your own ♪

♪ It's like bare hands
diggin' through stone ♪

♪ And if things go down
much steeper hills ♪

♪ Even money
won't pay these bills ♪

♪ But time will show ♪

♪ That people gonna be okay ♪

♪ Storms never come to stay ♪

♪ They just show us how
bad we need each other ♪

♪ How bad we need each other ♪

♪ And the trials of today ♪

♪ They are signs along the way ♪

♪ To remind us how
bad we need each other ♪

♪ How bad we need each other ♪

♪♪ [Vocalizing]

♪♪ [Ends]

What's that mean?

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