Bones (2005–2017): Season 6, Episode 18 - The Truth in the Myth - full transcript

[Man] I can't believe
you forgot your binoculars.

A lepidopterist without binoculars
is like a day without sunshine.

Guess I was nervous to meet you.

I've never done the
"online date" thing before.

[Man] There's a Red-banded
Hairstreak. It's so beautiful.

Look what's next to it.

Right. Another butterfly.

- Hackberry Emperor.
- Of course.

- Guess I'm just tired.
- You've only been at it
for a few hours.

When you e-mailed me and
said you were into butterflies,

it sounded romantic,
not like school.



- You're not really
a lepidopterist, are you?
- No, Gary.

I'm just a woman
looking for a man.

Oh. Yeah.

- And I brought a blanket.
- Fantastic!

Look at these.
Oh, look at these.

A swarm of Silvery
Checkerspots. Oh, my God.

This is romantic.

But you're gonna remember this a
lot more than those butterflies, Gary.

[Chuckles, Grunts] Yeah.

- They don't usually
swarm like this.
- Neither do I.

[Screaming]

I hate online dating.

[People Chattering]

[Brennan] Partially
skeletonized. Ribs splayed open.



I have a feeling this
wasn't natural causes.

Animal or psycho? Probably.

The angle of the mandible
and the brow of the skull...

indicate a male around 40 to 50,

judging by the wear
on the mandibular teeth.

Hey, what's... what's with all
the butterflies? Chlosyne nycteis.

They're the Silvery Checkerspot,
indigenous to the area.

They're probably just attracted
by the remains. Whoa, whoa, wait.

Butterflies eat
dead people? Yeah.

Hey, they may look beautiful,

but they'll eat bird
excrement and aphid guts,

decomposing meat.

Oh. Right.

- What the hell?
- [Sniffs]

Something smells like sulfur.

It's coming from the
remains. It's... [Sniffs]

- [Sniffing]
- I hate when you do that.

It's not a typical odor associated
with decomposition. [Sniffs]

[Bleating] Who would
leave a goat out here?

Who cares about a goat, okay?
We're dealing with a dead body here.

- Look, shouldn't
there be more blood?
- Yes.

It appears all of the blood has
been drained from the victim's body.

I'm guessin' psycho.

[Brennan] But look at the ribs,
two through six, on the left side.

- Bite marks.
- Cannibal?

No. I-It's not human dentition.

- I'm confused.
- Me too. And I don't
like the feeling.

[Bleating Continues]

So the heart is gone?

Well, it's like someone
ate it right out of his chest.

[Hodgins] Wow.

The victim's right ankle has
a vertical transarticular pin...

that was surgically
implanted to fix a past fracture.

Could be a helpful identifier.

Very good, Mr. Nigel-Murray.

While I have your attention and affection,
there's something that I'd like to say.

Can you speak while
working? Of course.

As you may be aware, I am currently
participating in Alcoholics Anonymous,

pursuant to my unfortunate downward spiral
in the aftermath of my Jeopardy! win.

- Whoa.
- I had no idea you were in A.A.

Yes, well, as with everything else,
discretion has been my watchword...

except when I was
vomiting into someone's hat.

- [Groans]
- These look like spiny bristles
from some kind of animal.

Oh, and the evidence on the X-rays
shows bone damage on the ribs...

from long, fang-like teeth.

Oh. Maybe the heart was eaten.

But anyway, um, I'm
currently at step nine of 12,

which consists of me making amends to those
people that I've harmed while I've been drinking.

Not necessary. Don't even
remember being wronged.

I urinated in your
tadpole tank, Dr. Hodgins.

- What?
- Mr. Nigel-Murray,
that's disgusting.

Of course.

Anyway, Dr. Hodgins,
I apologize.

Dr. Saroyan. No.

All I wanna hear from you right
now are facts about this case.

Okay. At this point,
from all of the evidence...

that I've gathered
from the X-rays...

as well as the observable
evidence on the remains...

Indicates that our victim
was killed by a cryptid.

- Cryptid?
- A creature yet unrecognized
by scientific consensus.

Of course!

Oh, no. You guys aren't gonna start
talking about werewolves, are you?

Oh, no, no, no. I would
posit that it was a chupacabra.

- [Hodgins] Oh!
- A spiny creature
the size of a bear.

Vicious, forked tongued, with fangs easily
capable of biting out the victim's heart.

But no one has ever captured
or verified this chupacabra.

No, but reports show that it
sucks out its victim's blood...

and leaves behind
the scent of sulfur.

And you found a goat
tethered to a stake there.

Chupacabra means "goat-sucker."

So, for cause of death, you want
me to put down "goat-sucker"?

Oh! What is that?

The murder victim's
stomach contents.

Wow. If you're hungry, there's
uneaten food in the kitchen.

You're right. I'm sorry.

There's just something about a pregnant
woman that precludes twisted humor.

What's up?

So, I looked at the clothes
that our guy was wearing.

Apparently, he did
not scrimp on the duds.

Everything was brand-new.

It was like he was
wearing a costume.

So, maybe he wasn't
really an outdoorsman at all.

Oh, and guess what.
Vincent just apologized to me.

Oh, step number
nine... Making amends.

Yeah. He apologized for using my
letter opener to clean his fingernails.

Ugh! And for telling his entire
darts team that he slept with me.

Oh, my God! What is with him?

He was drunk. Well, but still.

It's not like I'm gonna
run into his darts team.

Well, you are a better
person than I am.

Really? I'm not gonna
forget that you told me that.

[Brennan] You
identified the victim how?

Well, no real hunter goes out to the
woods in brand-new clothes, right?

So he had to be a tourist,

so I sent his description to the hotels
and lodges in the area, and I got a hit.

Pine Tree Manor. Yeah.

They said they had a guest
by the name of Lee Coleman,

who disappeared and
left his stuff behind.

Lee Coleman.

The Lee Coleman.

Why do you keep saying his
name as if I should know him?

Lee Coleman. Kill the Myth.

It's a TV show on the
Wilderness Network.

I've never seen it. Wow.
Do you even own a TV?

Of course. It's in the closet.

Naturally. Anyway, on the
show, Coleman would go out...

and he would debunk
different myths and legends.

You know, the Loch
Ness monster, the yeti,

psychic healers, yada yada.

I'm not familiar with the
yada-yada-yada myth,

but the rest of them don't need
disproving because they don't exist.

Okay, again, just because
you haven't seen something,

it doesn't mean
that it doesn't exist.

I mean, you haven't seen the back
side of the moon, but you believe in it.

[Laughing] What?

I was trying to think of an amusing
quip about the back side of your moon.

[Laughing] All right. Great.

What if Coleman was in the woods trying to
disprove the chupacabra for Kill the Myth?

And the myth killed him
instead. It could happen.

No, it couldn't. You can't be killed
by something that doesn't exist.

- You can, if it does exist.
- I don't think you understand
what the word "myth" means.

[Exhales] [Laughing]

[Laughing Harder]

Now what?

Perhaps you could
see your dark side...

if you mooned a mirror. [Laughs]

Because "moon" is a term
that refers to exposing...

I know, Bones. Get it?

It's pretty clever, right?
It's clever, yeah. Clever.

Yeah, I'd laugh, but, uh, I'm
afraid of driving off the road.

I understand. You do, right?

Safety first. Oh, yeah.

I understand.

[Chortling]

[Brennan] Oh. Huh.

Odd that they would call it the Pine Tree
Manor when it's obviously clad in cedar.

I was just thinkin' that.

Really? No.

Wow!

- Hello.
- [Brennan] Hello.

- [Clock Chimes]
- Welcome to the
Pine Tree Manor.

It would more properly be
called the Cedar Siding Manor.

Right. Uh, F.B.I. Special
Agent Seeley Booth.

This here's my colleague,
Dr. Temperance Brennan.

You must be here
because of the myth guy.

I'm Randy Shepard.
I own the place.

- Is it true what we're hearing?
- What are you hearing?

That something got the guy... out
in the woods, something... horrible.

- And how'd you hear about that?
- From me.

Who are you? I'm Melissa Lawson.

- Melissa's our
activities coordinator.
- What does that mean?

Fishing, hikes, bird-watching,
nature trails, hunting.

Mr. Coleman sort of monopolized
Melissa the three days he was here.

He was filming an
episode of that show of his.

To debunk the chupacabra?

- Yeah. And it got him.
- We've had sightings.

People used to come from all
over just to get a glimpse of one.

- What's it look like?
- Oh.

- [Cell Phone Rings]
- Hello.

So, I've analyzed those dermal
cells we found on the remains.

Turns out they are
skin, but not human.

Now, judging by the heavily keratinized
stratum corneum, they appear to be reptilian.

Reptilian? There's more.

Those needle-like quills, they're
composed of 45% carbon, 27% oxygen,

15% nitrogen and
six percent hydrogen.

- That's hair.
- Mm-hmm. And definitely
mammalian.

No. That-That makes no sense.

Reptile scales and
mammalian hair...

don't coexist on
any known animal.

Really? What about this?

Chupacabra.

I'm Lee Coleman, and I've
made it my life's mission...

to disprove some of the world's most
tenacious myths, legends and monsters.

Don't be a fool.

Kill the myth...

and find the truth.

Join me next week as I brave
the deep woods of West Virginia...

- in search of
the mythic chupacabra...
- [Growling]

a creature whose name
means "goat-sucker."

But I'm gonna prove
that if you believe in him,

you are the sucker.

That promo wasn't
shot in West Virginia.

It was a park near the studio.
I can't believe he's gone.

You were his producer. You
must've known he was goin' out there.

I rarely knew what
Lee was up to.

He insisted on doing
all of his own research.

Can you think of anyone
who would want to harm Lee?

He made a career out of
making people look like fools.

Everyone he debunked
probably wanted him dead.

Believers in superstitions like these...
they turn to illogical explanations...

as a way of deriving control in a
frightening and uncertain world.

- They're nuts.
- That's a more succinct way
of putting it.

But when a person like that
has his way of life challenged,

becoming violent
would not be surprising.

- You know, Lee was
attacked once... by a dog.
- He debunked a dog?

- What... What was it
pretending to be?
- He debunked a pet psychic.

Oh. She lost a lot of clients.

Um, one day Lee was coming out of
the studio, and this dog just went for him,

and the pet psychic was just across
the street watching the whole thing.

- Was it her dog?
- She denied it, but why else
would she be there?

That mutt latched
on to Lee's leg.

He fell. He broke his
ankle, had to have surgery.

And we couldn't even
touch the psychic.

- When was this?
- Last year.

- Oh.
- But he insisted on rerunning
the episode two weeks ago.

- He disappeared
right after that.
- Yeah.

I told him he should forget
about her. She's a loon.

But he wanted to
go after her again.

I've never seen bone
damage like this before.

Normally, puncture marks resulting
from carnivorous scavenging...

are accompanied by pits
in the cortical bone surfaces.

Which are not in evidence.

Mysteriously.

So I'll analyze the wounds and try and
establish which were caused by small animals...

and which might've been
caused by the chupacabra.

You are not letting this
chupacabra thing go, are ya?

I'd be skeptical if you told
me that there was a venomous,

egg-laying, duck-billed,
beaver-tailed mammal,

and yet the platypus...

It does exist. [Sniffing]

Uh, Mr. Nigel-Murray, do you need
me to take that alcohol away from you?

Oh! No. [Chuckles]

No, don't be absurd. This
is, uh, 80% ethyl alcohol.

I would most likely go
blind if I were to drink this.

It... Yeah, yeah.
Take it away from me.

Yeah. Take the top.

Dr. Saroyan. Sorry.

I really need you to let me
apologize to you, for my sobriety.

Fine. Shoot.

[Chuckles] Thank
you. [Clears Throat]

I once went into your office,
uh, when you weren't there,

and I noticed that your
desk drawer was open,

and I saw a stack of grocery
coupons from the Sunday paper.

Okay. Continue.

And I took some of the
coupons. [Clears Throat]

I took... One was for a soda, and I
took another one for a cheese snack.

And a third was for
a frozen fish dinner.

Three coupons? Yeah. [Chuckles]

I was tipsy.

I understand. And as long
as that's it, I forgive you.

Um...

What? I also told some
mates from Paleontology...

that you and I... that we
enjoyed a passionate...

and extremely gymnastic
sexual relationship.

What? Yes, I did. It's all true.

I can't believe you did that.

I-I know. I know. And I
am deeply, deeply sorry.

But it was the hooch.

Uh... Oh, forget it.

The injuries on the bones, I would like an
explanation for them as soon as possible...

One that will not
be met with derision.

I shouldn't have told
her about the coupons.

I think the victim is
providing a valuable service...

by debunking these myths. Hmm.

[Men Shouting]
Take a look at this.

- This is your proof.
- [Shouting In Spanish]

Oh, no. Don't be angry at me.

Your priest is the one
who has tricked you. Look.

- I put up a hidden camera...
- [Man]...the devil!

And this is what it
recorded last night.

Your priest has
rigged this statue to cry.

You know, some of these segments that
Coleman recorded used hidden cameras.

He wouldn't need a camera crew.

For his exposé on the chupacabra,
he might've put up cameras.

They could still
be there. Exactly.

I should watch the show. You
know, not all miracles are fake, Bones.

Mm-mmm. There's a reasonable
explanation for all phenomena.

You know, I saw a yeti.

[Laughs] Don't be
ridiculous. Yetis don't exist.

I was in Nepal.

Rangers have a secure
training base there.

I was doing field exercises, about
to rendezvous with my platoon,

and... I saw it...

about 30, 35
feet in front of me.

You were in the snow,

in unfamiliar terrain, alone.

Hallucinations are common.
It was over 10 feet tall.

It was huge. I looked
straight in its eyes.

I pointed my rifle
at it, and it ran.

This was no
hallucination. Booth.

- I'm sure you thought...
- Okay, why don't you
just trust me here?

Why can't you just use that
brilliant scientific mind of yours...

and at least admit
that the possibility...

of what I'm saying here is true?

- You... You're serious?
- Just forget it.

You know, you talk a really good game,
Bones, but when it comes down to it,

you're no different than people who were
certain that the sun revolved around the Earth.

- That's not true.
- Hmm.

Well, I did some readings
for Nancy Reagan.

Her dog... a Cavalier
King Charles spaniel, Rex...

Cute little thing.

He had some issues with
being in the public eye. [Laughs]

You can understand. Sure, sure.

Well, Hobart likes you.

Thinks you have a kind
and understanding face.

- Hobart?
- Hobart.

Hello! Oh.

Hello. Hobart looks like
a very nice bird as well.

I wanted to ask you about... Lee
Coleman. I know. Horrible man.

He has no idea how many animals he
hurt by spreading those lies about me.

- You were angry about that.
- Well, we all were!

Uh-huh. Well, he thought you were
responsible for the dog attacking him.

[Laughs] That's nonsense.

Hadley acted on
his own. Of course.

But you were with Hadley when he attacked.
I mean, you could've restrained him.

- Well, we were taking a walk. It all happened very fast.
- Hello!

And he does regret
the pain that he caused.

- He told you that?
- We communicated, yes.

Two weeks ago, when
Lee Coleman was killed,

you were also in West
Virginia, weren't you?

Yes, I was seeing
a client... a horse.

He felt emotionally displaced
because his owners got a pony.

Well, the farmer
who hired you...

said that you came and
went on your own schedule.

- What are you implying?
- You're the psychic,
Miss Michaels.

I'm sure you can figure it
out. Your business was hurt.

You felt humiliated
and ridiculed.

You wanted revenge.

I did not kill that
dreadful man.

I was at the farm.

Ask the horse, or the
chickens. They all saw me.

Right.

I am not crazy, Dr. Sweets,
and I do want to help.

I heard that you found a
goat at the murder scene.

If you want me
to talk to him. Nah!

No, thank you, but thank you.

[Hobart] Good-bye.
Um, this is getting weird.

So, if Coleman used a
hidden camera out here,

he probably would've had it
aimed where the goat was tethered.

You really had to
volunteer us for this, huh?

Yeah! Thought comin' out to the
woods would be nice, you know?

A little fresh air. Honey, let
me share something with you.

There's a human
growing inside me.

Vegging on the couch and
eating pints of mint chip ice cream...

is all I actually want to do.

Recent studies show that mothers who
gain excess weight during pregnancy...

make their babies more
prone to childhood obesity.

Huh. That's interesting.

I read a study that says that husbands
who suggest their pregnant wives are fat...

are far more prone to
being slugged by them.

Right. Okay then.

Uh, cameras. Cameras. Yes.

So I watched the segments of
Kill the Myth that Brennan sent.

Uh-huh. Coleman always seems
to use the same type of camera.

It's a fixed-lens infrared
surveillance camera...

with a maximum
focal length of 20 feet.

So then we should
just measure...

a 20-foot perimeter
from the stake...

and then start searching.

You know what I don't
understand? What's that, babe?

How come a creature whose name
means "goat-sucker" didn't suck the goat?

[Scoffs] Because there's no
such thing as a chupacabra.

Oh, this coming from the woman
that believes the stars control our fates.

Of course you're going to
belittle astrology. You're a Virgo.

I think I got something.

Well, h-how are we
gonna get up there?

Well, it's just a little tree.

Hey, babe, you're
going to be a father.

I don't want anything
to happen to you.

Okay. But please...
Please be careful.

Okay.

- Got it.
- Hold on tight.

All right. I'm gonna throw
this down to you, okay?

Yeah.

Got it. Um, it looks like
there's some water damage,

but I might be able to recover
some data from the memory card.

Uh-huh.

If this time stamp is correct,

this was taken on the night
that Lee Coleman was killed.

He might have
recorded his own murder.

This is the original image...

of the damage done to
the victim's ribs and torso.

Now here I've eliminated all injuries
caused from postmortem scavenging,

leaving only the wounds
incurred during the initial attack.

What is this triangle?

That is a bite mark,

presumably the result of two upper
incisors and a single lower incisor.

I'm not familiar with any animal
with that configuration of teeth.

Like that.

Legend says that that
is how the goat-sucker...

drains blood from its prey.

Hodgins is analyzing the
swab from the injury site.

We'll see what he comes up
with that doesn't rely on legend.

I... I'm very, very sorry.

Why? You've done more
than satisfactory work.

Oh! No, no, no, no.

As part of my recovery, uh,
for drinking a lot and having fun,

I have to make amends.

All right. What for?

One night, I borrowed
your iguana...

and wore it as a hat at a party.

Well, you must've taken care of
him, because I didn't see any damage.

And also I have
to apologize, um,

for spreading a
rumor... [Chuckles]

that you and I were lovers.

But it was nothing
serious. We were on and off.

We were just each
other's sexual playthings.

And please remember that I'm
apologizing for things that I did...

when I was besotted with drink.

[Loud Laughing]

Why are you laughing?

The absurdity of
you and I having...

a sexual relationship
of any kind.

I mean, your... your
friends must be very gullible.

No, they're not...
Not particularly.

Then they must've been inebriated
and incapable of rational thought.

Stranger things have happened.

[Laughs] I can't think of any.

I-I mean, I would
sooner confirm...

that the chupacabra was
the cause of this man's death.

I've been told I'm an...
I'm an excellent lover.

So...

- It appears that
I've hurt your feelings.
- No. No, no.

It's... It's all part
of the process,

and I have to accept the consequences
of my actions as part of my recovery.

Then I'm glad that I could help.

I-I must say that I'm impressed
that you were able to get my iguana...

to stay on top of your head.

I'm clever with ribbons.

Here you go.

[Knocking]

I'm so sorry to bother
you, Agent Booth,

but I really need to talk to you
about Lee Coleman's murder.

Sure. Come on in. No problem.

Have a seat.

I started thinking that if someone
killed Lee, I could be next.

You? Maybe I'm crazy, but
before I produced Lee's show,

I worked with a man
named Terry Bemis.

Okay. Who's Terry Bemis?

He had a show on the Wilderness
Network, Seeing Is Believing.

He's probably the most famous
cryptozoologist in the country.

That's very impressive, but,
uh, I don't know what that means.

Cryptozoology is the
study of hidden animals,

animals whose very
existence is in doubt.

Oh, right. Like the chupacabra.

Yes. Sure.

But also various sea animals who've
actually been found and confirmed.

Look, the point is that, um, Lee got
Terry booted off the Wilderness Network.

Oh, so you left crypto
guy and you went with Lee.

Yes. The network wanted me to.

Terry was very angry, as you
would expect. [Latches Click Open]

He started making threats,
which I didn't believe at the time.

But I did get this
e-mail yesterday.

"Heard about Lee. Some people
get what they deserve, I guess.

Wonder how things
will turn out for you."

- Do you know where I
can find Terry Bemis now?
- Where else? Public access.

[Angela] This is the footage from the
hidden camera we found in the tree.

Oh, my goat friend and I have
been waiting here for eight hours.

The only thing we've been
attacked by are mosquitoes,

which is strange because if these woods
are supposedly riddled with chupacabra,

you would expect
at least one of them...

to jump on the only goat
within a hundred-mile radius.

What he's saying makes
sense, but he's really unlikable.

Well... [Laughing]
sun's gonna be up soon.

And since these creatures
are supposedly nocturnal,

Billy Goat Gruff and I
might as well call it a night.

Nothing for us there. Well,
that's what I thought at first too.

But check this out.

[Beeping] Okay, here it is.

What?

Look at the goat's ears just before
Coleman shuts off the camera.

Oh, wow. He heard something.

Mm-hmm. Something
Coleman didn't hear.

Can you work some sort of audio
magic, see if you can pick it up?

Yeah, it's worth a try.

[Beeping]

[Electronic Chirping]

[Faint Rumbling;
Chirping Continues]

Did a G.C.-mass spec on the swab
results from our little triangular bite.

I expected to find saliva,
but instead I got that.

"Bisphenol A, diethyl
propane and amorphous silica."

[Device Beeps] What is that?

No clue. But as much as it pains me to
say it, it's probably not chupacabra spit.

Did you I.D. the dermis and those
needles we found on the body?

Yeah, I did. The reptile scales
belong to a Ctenosaura pectinata,

or Mexican spiny-tailed iguana.

And the needles, the
needles are from a wild boar.

Are those rare? No, not
anywhere you can buy a hairbrush.

This seems to be shaping up
to be nothing more than a hoax.

Don't sound so sad. Do you really wanna
live in a world where chupacabras roam free?

Yes, I really do.

So, our friend, the animal
psychic, has an alibi.

Ha-ha! Don't tell me.

She was feeding a flock of pigeons in the
park, and they're all willing to testify.

Close. Counseling a
horse. I was making a joke.

I know. Still, just afraid of driving
off the road. You know, great.

Anyway, the horse's owner
placed her on the farm.

Oh.

I did some research. Really?

The tracks you saw in
Nepal are easily explained.

I believe they were the tracks of smaller
animals widened by the afternoon sun.

I didn't see just tracks. I saw
the Abominable Snowman himself.

Hmm? He looked at
me, and I looked at him.

I believe you saw
what you say you saw.

- But you believe
it was a hallucination?
- I believe you actually saw it.

Ah. A yeti? No.

What you saw was
Ursus arctos isabellinus.

They're usually red
or sandy in color,

but the one you saw
was covered in ice.

A seven-foot bear
covered in ice? Yes.

Ursus arctos makes a sound
much like a human being grunting.

You did a lot of work on this.

Yes. I believe you saw
exactly what you say you saw.

You're simply calling it by the
wrong name. Ah, thank you, Bones.

I appreciate you, you know,
giving me the benefit of the doubt.

You're welcome.

Okay, look, this
guy's got two motives.

Okay. One, revenge for
getting booted to public access.

And two, he earns a living
talking about mythical animals.

Also, he'd be an expert at
faking a chupacabra attack.

[Man] Three, two, one.

I received word this week
that there was a sighting...

of one of the most
elusive cryptids...

The Bukit Timah Monkey Man,

an immortal hominid that
lives in the forests of Singapore.

What more proof do you need?

Well, this is a treat.

It looks like we're
being joined today...

by one of the many
celebrity guest scientists...

who frequently appear
on Seeing Is Believing.

Forensic anthropologist
Dr. Temperance Brennan is here.

Please, join me, Doctor.

Kevin, get a chair!

- Should I go?
- Why not? It's not like
anybody's watching.

Just set it there.
Hello. [Clears Throat]

Bup, bup, bup, bup, bup.

Hello! Welcome. Thank you.

It is always a pleasure
to meet a fellow scientist.

I do not accept the premise
that cryptozoology is a science.

I would point out that every major
advance in the history of science...

was at first dismissed as
fairy tale or "pseudo science."

Cryptozoologists begin with a conclusion
and then work backwards to prove it.

That is not science. That's
the opposite of science.

I'm sorry. Did you just come
here to insult me and my work?

No. I came here because you're a
suspect in the murder of Lee Coleman.

And we'll be right back.

So now I have to
talk to a shrink? Why?

Because I believe there are creatures
the scientific community doesn't accept?

No, no. I think this has more to do with
the, uh, e-mail you sent to Miss Tweed.

It was an e-mail,
a piece of paper.

Not even, until it was printed.

The F.B.I. sees it as a threat, so I'm
here to try and understand why you sent it.

I was angry that I lost my show.

I'm sorry.

Look, I know people think I'm a
little off because of my field of study.

Oh, no. I mean, I study
the human mind, okay,

so I can definitely confirm that
there are many mysteries out there...

that are very
difficult to explain.

Yes. Right. Yes.

And you had a forum on the
Wilderness Channel to educate people.

I was gonna get a publishing
deal and everything.

To distribute your findings.

I could have legitimized
cryptozoology.

You must've been very angry.

The son of a bitch
destroyed my life,

and he took my producer.

I'm on a community
college station now.

My show airs at
2:00 in the morning.

- How would you feel?
- Angry.

Mmm.

Not angry enough
to kill someone.

I didn't kill him.
I didn't have to.

The chupacabra beat me to it.

Coleman had such
disdain for my work,

but I bet he believed
in that creature...

as it was killing
him. [Chuckles]

The F.B.I.'s convinced that
the whole attack was faked,

that there's no such
thing as a chupacabra.

There's ample literature
that proves otherwise.

Is this your own self-published
literature we're talking about?

Well, it doesn't matter.

With all the media frenzy
over Coleman's death,

those woods are like
Grand Central Station.

I'm sure the chupacabra
has long since fled.

It's like the Loch Ness
fiasco all over again.

Yeah, possibly.

But the forensic team...

is combing through
all of the evidence,

so I'm sure they'll
find the truth.

That's what you want, isn't it?

The truth?

[Electronic Chirping]

So, I stripped away the audio
track with Coleman's voice,

and I amplified the
background noise.

You just turned up the
volume. I could've done that.

I'm sorry. Uh, do I just say, "You look
at gooey stuff all day. I could do that"?

I also used a multiband noise
gate to remove the ambient sounds,

and I reconstituted the compressed
information above the Nyquist frequency.

- Okay?
- I think you've made
your point, yes.

- This is what we have left.
- [Typing]

- [Low Growling]
- [Growling]

They both sound animal-like.
Yeah. Well, the first one is.

I've identified it as the mating
call of a white-tailed deer.

And the second sound? Well,
I haven't cracked that one yet.

It sounds like an animal, but
look at it on the E.Q. visualizer.

- [Beeping]
- [Growling]

It has a recurring consistent
pattern that suggests it's mechanical.

I'm gonna run it through the Jeffersonian's
audio database and check for matches.

Oh, we have an audio database?

Yeah, we sure do. It has
over 35 million sounds.

Check this out. So, this
is an Italian man sneezing.

- [Sneeze]
- [Saroyan Chuckles]

This is the engine
of an old Model T.

[Engine Rumbling]

- How about an F3 tornado?
- [Wind Gusting]

Here's a... a
raisin falling in milk.

[Plop] Did someone just
drop a raisin into some milk?

Sorry to interrupt.

There's something that I
need to show you, Dr. Saroyan.

- No confessions?
- I confess, no.

I sorted through the dentition of
dozens of carnivorous animals,

and I finally found a match to the
puncture wounds on the victim's ribs.

They are consistent with
the bite of a black bear.

A black bear? Yes.

And also, when I
looked back at the X-rays,

I noticed a uniform separation of
the bones in the joints of both ankles...

Totally even, and that's odd.

I also found evidence of abrasions
on the tissue left on the ankles.

And look at this. [Beeping]

The cervical and lumbar
vertebrae appear to be separated.

This is all consistent with him being
hung upside down by his ankles.

- Which would explain
the abrasions.
- Of course.

His blood wasn't sucked out
by some mythical creature.

It was drained... [Sighs]

using the same method
employed by hunters.

Remember that chemical
compound I found in the bite mark?

Bisphenol A, diethyl
propane and amorphous silica.

Dude, this isn't Jeopardy!.

I finally figured out what
contained those three chemicals.

Jaw Jelly.

Jaw Jelly is a
one-part jell adhesive...

used by taxidermists to create a wet look
in the mouths of animals they've mounted.

Are you thinking of
taking up taxidermy?

No. This is
relevant to the case.

I believe the bite marks
to Coleman's ribs...

came from a taxidermy bear.

Right. So he was killed
by a stuffed animal?

Whoever simulated this
attack used a bear tooth...

to imitate the tripartite incisor
pattern ascribed to a chupacabra.

And I know where we
can find a stuffed bear.

It's a lot busier
here than it was.

Well, it looks like a monster
attack is what this place needed, eh?

Look at that... 159 a night now.

Come on. Hurry, honey.
Slow down, honey.

That's a bear.

One of the bear's
incisors has been removed.

I can use the corresponding
incisors to confirm...

that the tooth used to stab
Coleman came from this bear.

- I expect nothing less.
- Back again.

Yeah. Wow. Business
really is booming, isn't it?

Well, I hate that it came on the
back of Mr. Coleman's misfortune,

but I'm grateful for the guests.

- Can I see your hands?
- My hands?

Yeah, you know, the things at the
end of your arms there... your hands.

Look at that... rope burns.

That's what happens when you
hoist animals up to drain their blood.

Isn't that right, Randy?

A psychologist?

It's my job to determine whether you're capable
of murdering and mutilating a human being.

[Chuckling] A guy would have to be
crazy to do something like that, right?

What do you think?
Yeah, I guess so.

I'm not crazy, so I guess
I couldn't have done it.

Our people did find Lee
Coleman's epithelial cells...

on the rope in
your supply closet,

rope burns on your hands and
vestiges of your D.N.A. on the rope.

- Can you explain that?
- Look, I didn't kill him. I'm not crazy.

You just said that as though
you know who did kill him.

- I did?
- Yes. Do you know
who killed him?

No. How would I?

Right.

- What are you writing?
- Hmm? Oh, don't worry. I just advise the F.B.I.

I don't actually decide who's
arrested and tried for murder.

So, what are you tellin' 'em?

I am advising them that in my
professional opinion, you're lying.

That and the rope
and the skin cells...

They'll probably arrest you.

You'll be needing a lawyer.

- All right. Thank you for your time.
- Wait.

I-I didn't kill the guy,
but I... did the rest.

- "The rest"?
- Yeah, the draining
of the blood, the heart.

Yes, I did that stuff.

- Why?
- I came across the body.

Since he was already dead, I thought if it
looked like he was killed by the chupacabra,

then he wouldn't
have died in vain.

You know, most people who
find a corpse in the woods,

they'd call the police.

The lodge is in debt.
I was gonna lose it.

Coleman was my best chance at saving
my business. That's not crazy, is it?

Exactly how did
you fake the attack?

Took the bear tooth and
made the bite marks with it,

spread some insecticide
around, make it smell like sulfur.

And then you
tore out his heart...

and hung him up
to drain the blood?

But I didn't shoot the guy.

Nobody said anything
about shooting.

- Well, I just meant...
- Who did? Who shot him?

It wasn't me. I didn't even
have the heart to kill the goat.

Where's the bullet?

I buried it with the heart.

Since I didn't kill the guy,
that's not so bad, is it?

No, it's bad. It's
very bad, Randy.

Very bad.

- You wanted to see me?
- Yeah.

I wanna show you
something on the rope.

Oh. Oh, good.

What? You seem nervous.

Truth be told, I thought
that you might be upset...

that I told the world I was
sleeping with your wife.

Vincent, you were drunk.
Come on. I understand.

Oh. Oh, wonderful.
[Chuckles] Okay, the rope.

Yeah, yeah. Just take a look at the
epithelial cells through the microscope.

Mm-hmm.

They look no different
than before to me.

Hmm. Yeah, that's...
That's what I thought, too,

so I was just... I
was just checking.

Thanks. Oh, no,
no. You're welcome.

And you're absolutely
sure that you're okay...

with this whole Angela business?

Do you really think I'm that
petty? No, no. Of course not.

Thank you. Mm-hmm.

You know, you are a kind and
understanding man, Dr. Hodgins.

Aw.

[Low Growling] So this is the
mating call of a white-tail deer.

[Growl] And this is the first
sound on the tape again.

[Growling]

Well, it's not a match.
'Cause it's not a real deer.

So I went back into
the audio database.

This is the sound of a
man-made deer call. [Growling]

That's a match. What
about the second sound?

- [Rumbling]
- A motorcycle?

Actually, it's a gas-powered
four-stroke engine.

An all-terrain vehicle, like
the kind they had at the lodge.

So someone was out hunting.

[Motor Rumbling]

[Man] ♪ If I go out tonight ♪

♪ To keep in touch
with the best of them ♪

♪ What am I givin' up ♪

- ♪ Tradin' in
for the rest of 'em? ♪
- She shot him accidentally?

She actually said it was his own fault for
not wearing an orange vest in the woods.

This is why I'm against hunting.

- Not because of Bambi?
- All right. Mostly
because of Bambi.

Melissa told Randy what happened,
and he used it to his own advantage.

So, if Coleman had just worn
an orange vest, he'd still be alive,

and Randy wouldn't have
mutilated him to increase business.

Yep. Here's to
stupidity and greed...

The two elements
that keep us employed.

- [Brennan] Ah.
- [All] Cheers.

[Chuckling] All right,
everyone. That was fun.

Good night. See ya later, guys.

All right, guys. All
right. See you tomorrow.

- See you later.
- Bones.

At any time, did you think that
the, uh, chupacabra was real?

No.

Then why did you believe
that I saw the yeti in Nepal?

Because what I said you
saw was totally rational.

I never saw it.

You see, what you did was rationally
explain something that never happened.

You never saw the yeti?

Or did I?

No, you didn't.

But you... you did?

Are you trying to
confuse me? I might be.

Okay. What is your point? Well,
that things are confusing, okay?

Just because you can explain something
doesn't mean that it's explainable.

Do you mean
"explicable"? Sure, like us.

We don't make any sense at all.

Good night. Bye.

[Thumping Door]

♪ You keep me young ♪♪

What's that mean?

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