Bones (2005–2017): Season 6, Episode 14 - The Bikini in the Soup - full transcript

The liquefied remains of a wedding planner are found in her home tanning bed on Valentine's Day, and Cam pressures her team to solve the case in time so she can celebrate the holiday with ...



Señora, are you trying
to cook again?

Why do you do that?

You burn the pots,
and then I have to clean.


Doesn't smell good, señora.

Whatever you cooked,
don't eat it.




I-I think you've been in there
too long.

You smell all sweaty.

Trust me, no one needs
to be that brown.



Who the hell
has a home tanning bed?

Aren't there easier ways
to get cancer?

Exposed mastoid process
and rounded frontal bones

suggest female.

I think the bikini
is a big hint, too.

Right. Porous sternal rib end
indicates she was in her 30s.

Tanned complexion was considered
unattractive until 1920,

when Coco Chanel went
to the South of France

and returned with a tan.

Think she fell asleep in here?

Probably an accident, right?

Well, I have no idea.

I have to thoroughly examine
the remains.

No, it's just that,
before I left the lab,

Cam said something
about having plans tonight--

being Valentine's Day and all--
so... I think she's

probably going to want
to put this to bed early.

Are you suggesting that we
not do our jobs properly?

No! Hey! Not me!

Cam. My boss.

I'm just passing on
the information here.

Guess today is such
a special day for her

because of her new boyfriend.

Valentine's Day was
originally meant to commemorate

a Christian martyr who died
in a quite horrific way.

Investigating this death

is a more appropriate way
to celebrate.

Yeah, I'm going to let
you tell her that one.

Right, so, okay.

The housekeeper I.D.'d the body
as a Wendy Bovitz.

She was a wedding planner.

Well, that explains all the...
decorations and pictures.

It's kind of sad, isn't it?

Someone who specializes in love

would be found dead
on Valentine's Day?

Just another day, Hodgins.
Just another day.

Not when you have
a pregnant wife.

All right, so the alarm
was on when the housekeeper

got here. There's, uh,
no sign of a break-in.

Nothing was stolen.

Hey, Bones, don't these things
have timers anywhere?

It's broken.
Oh. Maybe she

just fell asleep
and she turned to stew.

Yeah. That makes sense.

I think Cam can
sign off on that.

Oh... No, no, no, no.
Doesn't Cam want

to take this goo back to the lab
and analyze it?

She has Valentine's Day plans.

Okay, look...
I know you and Hannah

broke up, but...

for most people,
Valentine's Day...

You don't want
to finish that sentence.

No. No, I don't.

So, I'm assuming
that you want

to take all of this
back to the lab. Correct?


Yes, of course.

Oh. Huh.

Happy Valentine's Day, Bones.

Based on the decomp,
which was accelerated

by the heat and the UV rays,

the victim has been dead
between 32 and 38 hours.

I don't have to get

a Valentine's Day present
for Nora,

because every year,
Nora sends me a request.

I can't lose.

Were we talking about you and
your girlfriend? Oh, I'm sorry.

I was just thinking about her.
Love's funny that way.

Remember when you
were so professional

that you wouldn't
mention anything

about your
personal life?

I know.
What a drag I was.

Fracture to
the zygomatic arch

and a mandibular fracture
at the symphysis.

This could be murder.

No... murder.

Paul has this amazing
evening planned--

dinner at L'Ami Jean,

ending in
a gorgeous room

at the Hampshire

and a complicated case
would mess that up,

and that would make me
very cranky.

Remodeling suggests

that these injuries
are a few years old.

Thank God! Tox screen indicates

alcohol consumption
and traces of diazepam.

There we have it.

She had a glass of wine,
popped a pill, fell asleep.

We have more bones to examine.

Knock yourself out.

You know,
last year,

she wanted to go to this cabin
in the mountains,

and we got snowed in.

And the only way we
could keep ourselves warm

was to just...

Well, it was a wonderful
Valentine's Day.


Oh, hello, Douglas.

No. I can't tonight.
I'm busy.

I'm sorry. Okay, good-bye.

So you have plans tonight.
That's nice.

No. No.

A date on Valentine's Day
comes with the expectation

of affectionate companionship
and probably sex.

I have no intention
of engaging in either.

Oh, I do.


Sharp force trauma to the ribs.

And no remodeling.

Left anterior fourth
and fifth ribs.

The wounds are penetrating.
Dr. Edison,

we need to check
the corresponding section

of the thoracic spine.

- Yep.
- What is it?

There are some nicks

on the front of some
of the thoracic vertebrae.

Which means the wedding planner
was stabbed through the heart.

I'm sorry,
Dr. Saroyan.

This is murder.

♪ Bones 6x14 ♪
The Bikini in the Soup
Original Air Date on February 17, 2011

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

People! People! Can I have
your attention, please?

Thank you.

Apparently, there's a chance
that this may be a murder.

Oh, it's definitely
a murder, Dr Saroyan.

Okay, since it is a murder,
you have exactly...

eight hours and 22 minutes
to solve it.

Uh, excuse me, Cam.

Because, at exactly

6:45 p.m.,
I am exiting this building

to observe Valentine's Day
with Paul.

Well, what if the
murder isn't solved?

People, there is death in
this world and there is romance.

Today, death is the loser
and romance wins.


What about justice?


Go. Solve.

So, you know
what this means, right?

We can get out
of here early,

make a night of it.

We don't
have to do that.

Come on. Dinner...

and dancing...


Okay, dinner and...
and a walk.

A very... short walk.

You don't have to worry
about Valentine's anymore.

We're married people.

Well, come on, now.
Married people have romance.

I am going
to prove it to you.

Here's our confirmation.

The murder victim
was Wendy Bovitz.

Wow. A wedding planner killed
just before Valentine's Day.

That is ironic.

Yeah, but we have an I.D.
, which is good. Right.

You have plans.
Okay, uh, I'll check with Clark

and see if he needs help with
anything resembling a weapon.



You're the expert
on Valentine's romance.

I got a question
for you.

Fine-- as long
as you ask it

on the way back to your
office to solve this murder.

Okay. All right.
So, uh, Angela just said to me

that because we're married,
we don't have to be romantic.

Not true. Well, yes, I
know it's hard to believe,

but that is exactly
what she just said.

No. Married or not, you
still have to be romantic.

I knew it.
She's testing me.

No, no, she's
not testing you.

She's pregnant,
and her feet hurt,

and she may not feel up
for initiating the romance,

but if you don't,
she'll never forgive you.

It's the estrogen.
It's all right.

I'll initiate all right.

You know that emerald necklace

I bought her
Christmas before last?




Matching earrings.


Angela doesn't really like
that necklace so much.

What? She loves it.
She told me so.

Of course she did,

but have you ever
seen her wear it?

Uh... yes.

When you didn't ask?


Think of something else.

But wait until after
we solve the murder.

Wen-Wendy's dead?

Are-are you sure it was her?

Without a doubt.
Oh, my God.

This is a disaster.

Especially for Wendy.

So... you are her assistant.

Executive assistant, yes.

Is that important?
Executive assistant?

Well, I guess,

right now,
in the grand scheme of things,

no, it probably isn't.

All right.

When was the last time
you saw her?

A couple days ago.

I've, uh, been trying
to reach her.

I must have left her
a dozen messages.

And you weren't surprised
when she didn't respond?

Not really. No.

It was sort of Wendy's M.O.

Wendy gets, um...

Wendy got overwhelmed.

Overwhelmed by...
Uh, well, uh,

well, the Erickson wedding,
for one thing.

As in... as in Warren Erickson.

No? Really?

Do you people know anything
that goes on in this town?

Anything important, anyway?

I'm sorry. It's just
that this wedding,

which is massive,

is tonight, and I don't know

how I'm going to pull it off
without Wendy.

In fact, I don't know how
I'm going to live without Wendy.

So you have your own numerical
code to her alarm system?

Ah, yes.
The assistant's code.

Um, I also have, uh,
a set of keys.

According to Postern Security,

the code was used
to set the alarm yesterday.

Uh, yeah.

I-I stopped by to pick up
some fabric swatches,

uh... but Wendy wasn't there.
Thank you.

Did you, uh, check
the tanning bed?


She left the fabric by the door.

Well, that's where
we found her body.


are you saying that she
might have, uh, been...

been dead
when I was in the house?

Definitely there
and definitely dead.


Oh, God.

Oh... oh,
I'm going to be sick.

No, I-I'm fine.


Ooh! No, I'm not.

All right.
I'm all right.

Oh, God, I loved that woman.

I loved her.

Well, I've been removing
the liquefaction

and came across something
that belongs to you.

I don't know what it is--
a butterfly, maybe.

It was in her hair.

Well, Lepidoptera is attracted
to the smell of decomp.

Perhaps he flew a little
too close and was ensnared.

Instead of musing,
maybe you could be running,

classifying and hurrying.

I was looking
at the X-rays.

This finger appears
to be broken.

Skeleton hand or the still
fleshy hand? Fleshy.

The fracture occurred
around the time of death.

It could indicate a struggle.

I'll take samples

from under the

to see if
there's any evidence.


Oh, hello, Scott.
How are you?

No, I have no Valentine's plans.

When you say
Valentine's dinner,

do you mean...
a romantic dinner or a...

normal meal
amongst colleagues?

Oh, uh, okay.
Then, no, thank you.

Okay, bye, now.

I wish you had said yes.

Because, then, you'd be
motivated to move more quickly.

I understand
that Valentine's Day may...

have significance for you.

You do?

Yes. You've reached an age

where every male

must be treated
as a prospective mate.

I'm not that much older
than you, and I have someone.

I'm sorry.

I'm on edge.


You're correct.

This is the victim's laptop?

I thought you might
find this interesting.

When it boots up.

So, this must be
a tough one, huh?

What, the case?

Valentine's Day.

I mean, so soon after
your breakup with Hannah.

Not really.

Really? Not really?

Can we just focus on the case?

No twinges at all?

It's over, okay?

Hannah and I are done.

I've moved on.

So what are you gonna do?

Valentine's Day
is not a holiday.

It's just made up
by these greeting card companies

and florists.
Well, then, maybe you

should find somebody else
who's doing nothing,

so that you two
can do nothing together.

Look at that,
good news-- it's booted up.

So, what do you want
to show me?

Okay. One of the
password-protected files.

"In case of death."


Well, Clark said that she
was probably in a car accident.

That would explain the injuries.

Yeah. Or...

"If anything happens to me,

it was my husband"?

Did you know
that she was married?


Greg Bovitz?

What are you doing, man?

You spook my horses,

I'm not responsible
for what happens.

Just need a minute
of your time.

Well, that's all I got.

I'm supposed to be
at a wedding.

Of course, the bride's
just going to complain

the horse smells, but...
Your wife is dead.


She was murdered.

Are you sure it's Wendy?

Yeah, we're sure.

I don't believe this.

You two were separated, right?

We had some troubles. Why?

What kind of troubles?

I wasn't crazy about
this whole wedding thing.

Sounds like you
still aren't.

Hey, I'm a horse trainer
by trade, okay?

I belong on a ranch.

But we were working it out.

You must feel kind of foolish
in this outfit.

Is that why you beat her up?

I never laid a hand on Wendy.
I loved her.

Found this picture
on her computer.

It said, if anything happens,
go find her husband.

Sh-she didn't mean me.

It's her first husband.

It's Tom Barry.
After their divorce,

Wendy took out
a restraining order.

She put in one of those fancy
alarm systems, okay, man?

This guy,
he was a piece of work.

You know where I can find him?

Hillmount Cemetery-- he was
killed in a bar fight last year.

Have you talked to that
rich bastard Erickson?


He freaked Wendy out
the other day.

He shows up at her place,
he's screaming at her,

he's saying
she's over budget,

he's-he's tossing
stuff around.

Anyway, Wendy was scared.

If that bastard hurt her,
I don't care how rich he is...

I'll handle it.

If there's anything
that I can do...

I'll let you know.

Okay, okay, how's it coming?

Ticktock, ticktock.

Um, speaking clock
doesn't really help.

Look, I'm sorry-- Dr. Saroyan
is breathing down my neck.

Is there anything
I can tell her?

I can tell you what it isn't.
So can I-- it's not a toaster.

But she needs an "is"
and not an "isn't."

Okay, look... I want to get
out of here as much as she does.

I have to make this
Valentine's Day one to remember,

in case I forget one in the future.
Look, I understand.

Nora's waiting
on me, too.

Do you know this woman
is now calling me,

talking low and
breathy on the phone?

It is making it very difficult
to concentrate on my work.

Oh, yeah.

All right. All right.

I thought it might be
a moth or a butterfly,

but then the cells would have
membranes, and these don't.

They have ridged,
polarized walls, which means

it's some sort
of vegetation.

So I'll run a capillary

and get back to you.
I'll tell her.

Hey, um, before you go...

I really need to nail
this Valentine's Day thing.

Can you give me a little feedback?

I'm honored you asked me.



Oh, wow, that...

What-what is it?

It's an Egyptian tear vase.

A Valentine's Day tear vase?

Hmm. They gave them to
the pharaoh's slaves

when they were buried
with him in the pyramid.

To cry into?

'Cause they were so sad
the pharaoh was gone.

Oh, I'm thinking they were
crying because they were slaves

and they're being
buried alive.

Angela saw it right here
in the gift shop.

She thought it was so cool.

You know, this is
almost 5,000 years old.

The Jeffersonian gift shop?

Dr. Hodgins, no. Mmm.

She liked it.
Mmm, no, mmm, no,

no, no, no,
no, no and no.

That's not for
Valentine's Day.

Okay. Cam already nixed
the earrings that I bought her.

What is left? Look, I know I haven't
been that close to you all,

but I have observed quite a bit.

And? Angela doesn't care
about things.

Remember that poem
you wrote her?

"I am not to
speak to you,

"I am to think of you.

"When I sit alone,

"awake at night, alone,

"I am to see to it

that I do not lose you."

She repeated that ad nauseam.

I mean, it was like a
Kool and the Gang song.

Man, I couldn't get it
out of my head.

That was Walt Whitman.

Oh, who cares?
She didn't know that.

Look, it's from the
heart, Dr. Hodgins.

Just give her something
that only you can give her.

Trust me, that's why
Nora still calls me

breathing heavy on the phone

after three years
of being together.

Thanks, Clark.


Oh, and remember,
Dr. Saroyan needs to know

what those
ridged cell walls are now.

Tear vase!

Oh, man.

Oh, there she is.



Hello, beautiful lady
who works with the dead.

Oh, my God.

And hello, handsome
man who works with...

You're a gynecologist, Paul--
I shouldn't finish that.

Yeah, I... understand.

Listen, uh, I know it's wrong

to bother you at work,
but I saw these flowers,

thought of today, and you.

I just lost control.

And I'm glad you did.

So I hope nothing here is going
to prevent you from... No.

Just a little
murder, is all.

A child could solve it.
And I have

another doctor
covering for me,

so... we are set.

We are set.

I won't kiss you
in the workplace,

'cause... I'm also
a professional,

but let's just close our eyes
and take a moment

to think about how great
it would be if we did kiss.

Okay, then.

Very nice.

Should keep us going till dinner.

I'll see you.

Can't wait.

Dr. Hodgins is
making progress.

And you?

Beautiful roses.
Cut the small talk, Dr. Edison.

Just move your ass
and solve this case.

I think we can get it all
in one load.

Yeah, really stupid
holiday when you think about it.

The only memorable thing that
ever happened on February 14

was the St. Valentine's
Day Massacre.

No, not the only thing--
James Polk, in 1849,

was the first president
to have his photograph taken.

Okay. And Oregon was accepted
into the Union in 1859.

Bones, I get it.
Alexander Graham Bell applied

for his telephone patent
on the 14th.

None of those things
scream romance.

That's all I'm saying.
Oh, yes, I know,

but Cam and the others
seem quite invested in the idea.

Well, they can have it, right?



A budget is a budget, Raina.

We're rich!

What does it matter if I
want another kind of wine?

Yeah, we're rich because
I don't piss away our money.

Tell her it's not
in the budget.

Well, sir, I haven't seen
the final figures, so we...

Did you not hear me?

It turns out it's not
in the budget.

It is my wedding day,
for God sakes.

I want that wine!

Wendy said it's like love in a bottle.

I have been married four times.

It's ridiculous to spend
all this money on a wedding

when it's probably not
going to last anyway.

I hate you.

Excuse me, Mr. Erickson?

May we have a word?

I'm kind of
in the middle

of marrying off my kid here.

FBI. Have a few questions
about Wendy Bovitz.

Yeah. Yeah, so do I.

Haven't heard
from the bitch in days.


Uh, you didn't tell them

that your boss is dead?

Wendy's dead?

I just didn't want

to darken

her special day...

like you just did.

If you'll excuse me,
I need to speak to the caterer.

When was the last time
you saw Wendy Bovitz?

I don't know.
A couple days ago, I guess.

We were told that you went
to her house.

Yeah, I like to do business

And there was a heated exchange
face-to-face. She was going

over budget;
she was taking advantage of me.

She was promising Raina

some sort of crazy-ass
expensive orchids.

I don't like to be
taken advantage of.

Look, I'm sorry

Wendy's dead, but...

I'm getting married tonight.

Can we do all this after?

go play with your dress,

or whatever you women do
before you get hitched.

I hate you.


sounds like I need a lawyer.

Yeah. You do.


I did a closer examination

of the fractured fingers
you discovered.

One showed a dislocation
at the articular capsule.

Indicating a struggle.


And Dr. Saroyan found
epithelial cells

under one of the fingernails.

Enough for a DNA profile?

Yeah, she just needs

a suspect to compare it to.

Okay, thanks.

I'm going to need
a DNA sample, Mr. Erickson.

I just need to swab the
inside of your cheek.

You do see I'm looking
at you now, right?

Yes. In fact, I can see
my reflection in your cornea.


Then, let's be clear--

that's never, ever
going to happen.

Right. Okay, thank you.

Yeah, so do you want the good
news first or the bad news?

Is the order
at all relevant?

Ah, some, you know, people--

they like to get
the bad news first

so, you know, the conversation
ends in happiness.

All right, then,
what's the bad news?

Well, the court refuses
to compel a...

a, uh, DNA sample
from Erickson

based on what we have so far.

Do you mind? It...

it's not work-related.

- Go right ahead.
- Brennan.

I'll be right here.

Oh, uh, for Valentine's Day?

Oh. Valentine's Day, huh?

A Secret Service
agent from my gym.

Of course.

No, uh, it's
not my mother.

Wait. He thinks that
you're my mother.

Okay, look,
I'm not her mother.

Okay, I-I don't have a mother.

Could I phone you back
to tell you no?


All right.
What's the good news

so that we may end this
conversation on a happy note?

Erickson has a son in prison
for insider trading.

Why is that good news? It seems
the entire family is degenerate.

it's good news

because that means his son's DNA
is on file with CODIS.

Right, so Cam

can compare it to the sample
from the victim's fingernails

and see if there are
sufficient alleles

in common to match his dad.

You see,
always start

with the bad news first,
then go to the good news.

You happy now?

It's good news.
You happy?

I'm happy.

Hey. I'm checking...

I know. Ticktock,

Look, could you
tell Dr. Saroyan

that I am going
as fast as I can?

And you can assure
her that my ass

is indeed moving.

Yeah, I guess we're
just all a little on edge.

Yeah, I'm casting a mold
of the bone damage

to determine
the murder weapon.

And how long
is that going to take?

Longer than it's going to take
Dr. Hodgins to analyze

the weapon's
chemical composition

from the micro-slice of bone
I removed at the terminus.


So you want me to leave
and hurry along Hodgins

rather than you?

But could I ask
a personal question first?


Okay. You're a woman
with a very open mind.

Is this going to get creepy?

No, no.
Absolutely not, I hope.

Okay, look.

Nora sent me a text with
a request for Valentine's Day.

Oh, and you're wondering
whether I can cover for you

so you can go and pick
up the gift, right?

No. If Cam finds
out about this,

Clark, I could
get the rack.

No, no, no.
I'm not going anywhere.

The request wasn't
for something

that I can go buy
or reserve or...

Oh, really?

Well, I'm intrigued.

It's the first time
I have ever felt hesitant

about giving Nora
what she wants.

Can I say no?

I mean, I never have before.

Is it illegal?

No, of course not.

Will it hurt?
Good God, no.

And you love her?

More than anything.

Well, then,
show her.

I guarantee you, that's the
only thing she really wants.

So what is it?

Thank you for all your help,
Ms. Montenegro.

Erickson is
a self-made man.

Never finished high school,
took courses in welding,

built his business
from the ground up.

Now he is the leading supplier
of shelving

on the Eastern Seaboard.

That's very impressive.

Yeah, but the thing
about self-made men

is that they're often extremely
insecure and egomaniacal.


That means that they can
be really self-defensive.

They want everyone to do

exactly what they say.

What, like kill 'em
when they don't?

He lacks compassion.

He tends to fire

once they reach
a certain pay grade.

All right. Sweets,
did he kill her?

His daughter's wedding,
lots of tension--

yeah, yeah,
a man like Erickson

could snap under that kind
of pressure.

What are you doing
for Valentine's?

Hey, what does that have
to do with anything?

Just being friendly.

Yeah, well, don't be.

You know, Daisy has something
special planned for me,

and I got her...

That's nice, and a good
afternoon to you, too. Enjoy.

...bouquet of daisies.

What is it?

At first, like you, I thought it
was some sort of winged insect,

right, maybe a butterfly.

What is it?
But then I determined

it was flora,
not fauna.

What is it?

It's oncidium.

What is it?

Why do you keep
saying that?

Because you won't tell me
what it is.

It's an orchid blossom.


she was wearing
an orchid in her hair?

Certainly a

but she also could have
been smacked on the head.

With an orchid?
I'm guessing,

so don't tell
Dr. Brennan,

but the father of
the bride was furious

when the flower
budget was exceeded,

and these oncidium--
they cost, baby.

And by "baby," I
mean "Dr. Saroyan."

So you're saying
the father of the bride got mad,

tossed an orchid at her,
then stabbed her,

then shoved her
into the tanning bed?

I can see it.

Could happen.

Good. Now, one
other thing:

everything I get
Angela is wrong.

What do I do? Oh, Dr.
Hodgins, we've got a deadline.

Yeah, and your deadline
for Valentine's

is the exact same
as my deadline.

Now, I am doing
everything I can

to help you make your
deadline for Valentine's.

Now, why won't
you help me?

Look at me--
I'm desperate here.

You're right.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Dr. Hodgins,

look around you.

I mean, you may have

the most beautiful room
in the Jeffersonian,

aside from the molds
and "fungis"

and creepy-crawlies.

Are you telling me
that there isn't something

here that you've worked on

that wouldn't make a great gift?

Are you just trying
to get me to stay at work?

Dr. Saroyan,
I think there's something

you're going to want to see.

I am insulted that you would
think I'm so self-serving.

This might help get you
out of here very quickly.

Sounds good. I'm ready.

Now, I came in
looking for you

and couldn't help but
look at your monitor.

I see-- you've arranged
them for me.

Mm-hmm. These are
the DNA results of the tissue

found under the victim's

and that's Erickson Jr.'s

DNA profile
off CODIS.

They match.

Now, if I was petty
as, uh, Dr. Hodgins,

I would just crown myself
King of the Lab.

Not so fast,

Dr. Edison.

Bones are your thing,
not DNA.

This is not a match.

But the DNA
samples share 65%

of their profile
at each locus,

indicating that they are
immediate relatives.

Yes, that's true.

Okay, that's a "yes,
that's true, but..."

But it's not
the father of the bride.

It's not Warren Erickson.

The DNA shows that the skin

under the victim's
fingernails is female.

Oh. Well, then, it's
the mother of the bride.

The mother of the bride's
been deceased for seven years.

It's the bride.

I need to get dressed.

Cannot believe you people
keep ruining my wedding day.

A woman has been murdered,

And that's bad--
I know--

but I'm still alive,
and this is supposed to be

the most wonderful day
of my life.

Well, I'll tell you what.

You can answer
our questions here

or we can take you downtown.

It's up to you.

Okay. Okay.


All right. Why'd you go over
to Wendy's house?


I didn't.

Your DNA was found
under her fingernails.

You mean that DNA stuff
is really true?


Well, I went there.

She said she was
available anytime

and that all she wanted
was for me to have

the most wonderful wedding
in the world.

And you fought.

My dad had gone there
to tell her

to pull the orchids
and the wine,

and I wanted them,
especially those orchids.

She still had the sample there.

That must be

how the flower petal
got into her hair.

So I told her

that I didn't care about my dad
and she better find a way

to get those freaking orchids
on the tables or else.

Or else what?
Or else...

I would call my father and have
him hire a new wedding planner

and she'd never get
another penny.

She started screaming
that she'd already laid out

thousands and thousands
of dollars,

but I told her, "Tough crap."

Wow. That's aggressive.

Look, I don't like
being that way.

It just runs in my family.

Anyway, I grabbed

the phone to call my father,

and Wendy tried
to take it away from me,

so we kind of got into it.

I pushed her

and she scratched me,
but we made up.

Because you got your orchids.

Look, I know I'm a bitch,
but I am not a killer bitch.

So, any information
from the microsil cast

of the entry wound?

Well, I managed
to use the ribs

as well as the section
of the spine

to recreate
the wound track.

Now, I took a photo
of the cast

and magnified the image.

Now, once I had the track,

we could extrapolate
the shape of the weapon,

and with Angela's help,

we could take all the elements
that we discovered

and render a 3-D visual
of the murder weapon.

Great. What is it?

I have no idea.

Well, that's a letdown.

Yeah, I checked it
against numerous databases

and haven't found
any weapons that match.

The rough edges suggest
that it was hand-forged.

You know, it would help
if you could tell me

what the weapon was made from.

You're going to tell
Dr. Saroyan that it's me

that's holding this
up, aren't you?


Not unless absolutely necessary.


No, you don't.

This will not be my fault.

Hodgins got the results back

on the trace found
on the entry wound.

The weapon is made
out of cast iron.

So what are you saying-- she
was stabbed with a frying pan?

Hodgins couldn't find any weapon
that is made out of cast iron.


Oh, uh, hello, Jean-Paul.

- Jean-Paul?
- Yes, that does

sound wonderful, but I can't...

I-I can't go
to Montreal tonight.

I'm sorry.

Okay, good-bye.

I find it a little bit insulting

that they think I'd be available
at the last minute.

Well, you are.

but they don't know that,
and it's by choice, like you.

It's a ridiculous holiday.

The banks don't even close.
I agree with you there.

It is a ridiculous holiday.
I think I'll just end up

at the shooting range.
I mean, it seems fitting.

In honor of the
St. Valentine's Day Massacre?

I never thought
of it that way,

but yeah, yeah,
that's right.

Sounds like fun.


Okay, great.

So, Raina Erickson's alibi
checks out.

She was at a bar
with her girlfriend,

getting in one last fling.

Cam wants to know if you have
enough so she can leave.

I'm definitely close.

I found another
password-protected file

on Wendy's computer.

The articles of incorporation
for Wendy's business.


It gives
her assistant, Darren,

50% ownership and-- get this--
rights of survivorship.

Wait a minute.

If Wendy dies, Darren gets
the entire business for himself?

I don't know about you,
but it says motive to me.


Look, Wendy was my friend,
but she was also my meal ticket.

Well, it seems like your
meal ticket left you

an even bigger
meal ticket, pal.

I'm sorry. What?

Wendy left you
the business in her will.

Sh-she did?
The... the whole thing?

Hey, are you aware
that she recently transferred

half the business to you?

Oh, my God.

That seemed
very sincere.

Or he's just probably feeling
guilty that he killed her.

Oh, she, um... she told me

she had a surprise for me
on, uh, Valentine's Day,

but, wow, this is beyond sweet.

God, I loved that woman.

- You've said that many times.
- No, I loved her.

You know, loved her, loved her.

Like, uh, romantically.


Uh, I...

I was under the impression
that you were a homosexual.

Oh, uh, yeah, I get that a lot.

I know I seem like Jane,
but, nope, all Tarzan.

Been like this
since I was a kid.

It's had precisely
two advantages.

I got laid a lot
in high school.

And the other is,
uh, my career.

I'm a wedding planner.

I mean, I-I guess I could
have been a choreographer,

but you have to have
talent for that.

So, is that why Wendy,
uh, hired you?

Well, she hired me because
I'm very good at the job,

but, yes, she...

assumed I was gay
until one night,

we, uh...
we got into the champagne.

Well, gay, straight
or in between,

you definitely have
the best motive.

Inheriting the company?

Very sweet, bu uh...
well, let's face it.

Without Wendy,
the company's not worth much.

She's the face,
the personality.

I'm just the muscle.


Hodgins and Angela
sent a rendering

of what the murder
weapon looked like.

Wait a second.

That's... Pull that.

Excuse me.

That's a $7,000...

Aha. Look at
that, would you?

Almost had me going there
for a second, pal.

Not anymore.

You are under arrest.

In checking
the victim's e-mails,

I found that someone
else used her computer

to check his e-mails 38 hours
before you found the body.

That would have been very close

to her time of her death.
Who was it?

Greg Bovitz,
the victim's estranged husband.

Bovitz already admitted
to being there.

But did he admit
to breaking into her computer?

It couldn't have been
someone else?

Within 20 seconds of
checking his own e-mail?

Did he get in?

He would have found
that his wife

gave away half the business
to her business partner.

Hey, Bones.

Oh, there you are.

We found the victim's
blood on the murder weapon,

but Hodgins found
something else.

Oh, what else?

An oily substance.

Anything more than that?

Take a look.
Take a look.

Okay, I'm taking a look.


After all this time,

you expect me
to know what this stuff says?

It's a compound containing
neat's-foot, Stockholm tar,

saligari, silicone

and eucalyptus oil.
Those are all generic terms,

and not at all scientific.

Don't make me beg.

What does this mean?

It's horse hoof oil.

The victim's estranged husband
keeps horses.

He-he drives brides and grooms
around in his carriage.

He killed her.
Okay, I get it.

But this evidence is not
enough to make an arrest,

let alone convict.

But statistically,
he's the only viable suspect.

Bones, any chance that
your acting's gotten better

in the last couple of years?

Oh, yes.

Who will I be playing?

Darren Hargrove's not gay?

That's bull. He's totally gay.

Mmm, tell you what.

We're convinced that your
wife was having an affair.

Yeah, I don't...
I don't think so.

Do you think Darren killed her?

Oh, I have another theory.

What do you think
is the

number one motive in a murder?

Would it be money or jealousy?

I want a lawyer.


Fine. You don't have to talk.

That's your right, but...

you might want
to listen.

Thank you, Bones.

This is the murder weapon.

On the murder
weapon is the same oil

you use on
your horse.

Anyone can buy horse oil.

Horse oil and...

Your DNA where you held it
when you stabbed her.

Okay, tell you what.

You give us your DNA,
maybe you're innocent.

If you don't,
you're definitely guilty.

So what's it going to be?

This isn't fair.


I'm a law
enforcement professional.

I've seen it all, but this...

this isn't fair.

You're like Heathcliff.

Who's Heathcliff?

Heathcliff from...
from Wuthering Heights.

Heathcliff was a real man,

but misunderstood,
forced to be something less.

The way you had
to give up your dreams,

to... to drive a carriage.


I can only

imagine what that is like.

Then, the woman

you do all of that for--
she goes

and gives her heart
and the business to another man.

Not even a full man.

A half man.

It's him I should have killed.

Not Wendy.

I was very good.

Damn good!

Damn good.

I-I lied about
the DNA, too.

I was very good.

♪ I'm feelin' ♪

♪ I wanna love you ♪

♪ I want to love
and treat you right ♪

♪ I wanna love you ♪

Thank you.

♪ Every day and every night ♪

♪ We'll be together ♪

♪ With a roof over our heads ♪

♪ To share the shelter... ♪

The flowers were enough, Paul.


Come here.


♪ That I'm feelin'... ♪

What can I say?

Happy Valentine's Day.

♪ Is this love
that I'm feelin'? ♪

Mmm, let's go.

Something tells me this
is not a box of chocolates.

No. Wait. Why?

Is that
what you wanted?

You don't need
to give me a gift.

No, I really,
really do.

It's the only way
I can show you

what a gift
you've been to me.

Oh, God. Have you been
working on that one all day?

Pretty much.
Okay, open your eyes.


It's here. I, uh...

I made it myself.

Take a whiff.


That smells like roses.

Yeah, it's a hybrid
slime mold.

I spliced in a segment
of rose DNA.

You made this?

It's called
Angelicus montenegris,

and it's going
to be very famous

in, you know, certain circles.

I should have gone
with the tear vase, right?

♪ Is this love, is this love,
is this love? ♪

I guess not.

♪ Is this love
that I'm feelin'? ♪

♪ That I'm feelin'? ♪

Clark, baby,
are you okay in there?


There's no Clark here, baby.

It is I,

Cupid, god of love.

Oh, baby, this is going to be
a happy, happy Valentine's Day.

♪ Love ♪

♪ Love, love... ♪

Oh, no. You have
your bow.


Where's your arrow?

Do you really
need to ask?

♪ Love that I'm feelin'? ♪

♪ That I'm feelin'? ♪

♪ Is this love? ♪

I love you.

♪ Is this love, is this love? ♪

♪ Is this love
that I'm feelin'? ♪

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Is this love? ♪

♪ Love, love... ♪

Bones, what are you doing here?

This is my Valentine's Day gift
to you.

Come on, Bones.

I told you.

Just open it.

What is it?

Just open it.



Always wanted
to fire one of these.

Well, you told me that
Valentine's was all about

the Valentine's Day Massacre
for you, so I thought...

Is this a good idea?

I got them from the
Roaring '20s exhibit.

Great idea.

Ah, you ready, Bones?

Ah. Take that, you dirty rat!

Yeah, take that, you dirty rat!

I made it, Ma!
Top of the world!

Happy Valentine's Day Massacre,

Take that!