Bones (2005–2017): Season 10, Episode 16 - The Big Beef at the Royal Diner - full transcript

The team investigates when the remains of a celebrity chef are discovered at a local park.

Are you wondering how healthy the food you are eating is? Check it - foodval.com
---
Previously on
Bones...

I know you love to invent
things, Dr. Hodgins, but you do

not have permission to do that here.

You should totally
invent an unbreakable beaker.

You are gonna make
the Jeffersonian a mint.

Jeffersonian wants nothing to do
with my little side project.

This is ours.

Arastoo, what's going on?

It's my brother,
Hamid. In Iran.

He's sick. I have to go back,
make sure he's getting the best care...

Can't go back, you were exiled.



I booked a flight, Cam.
It leaves in a few hours.

Any big emotional change,
even good, can

trigger a relapse
with an addict.

I know these guys, okay? I've
been playing with them. I know

their tells. We get the evidence
you need and I make the arrest.

I don't understand--
he just read your text.

He might have too good

of a hand.
He's an addict.

And you checked in
with your sponsor?

Why do I feel like
I'm being interrogated?

Listen, I need to put
$200 on the Cardinals.

Step on it,
you pathetic weaklings!

My grandmother
can move faster than you,

and she's been dead 20 years!



I thought this was supposed
to be an exercise boot camp,

not a real boot camp.

You want to get rid
of your muffin-top

or not?
At this point,

lipo seems less painful.

You. Suzie Soccer Mom.
On your feet.

Gather around, pansies.
Double time, double time.

Okay.

Now... Suzie Q here's

gonna show us all how to
scale the climbing wall.

You want... Maybe someone
else should go first.

Did you or did
you not sign up

for this boot camp exercise class?
Sir, I did, it's just,

it's so tall and I'm so...
Save your whining

for the PTA and let
me see you shift

that ten-ton truck
of yours into gear.

Move it, soldier!

Let me see you put some
wiggle in that jiggle!

Okay.
Come on.

Come on, girl.

You got it.

You're almost there.

Come on.

Yeah.

- There. I did it.
- Good job.

Great, nice.
Whoa,

oh, my... whoa!

Oh!
Oh, my God, oh, my God.

What now?
Oh, God.

Someone get a boo-boo?

I just wanted to lose
the baby weight.

All right, all right,
it's-it's gonna be okay.

Look, it's gonna be okay.
Come on.

Whoa, look at that, huh?

To celebrate the Flyers' win
last night, huh?

Dad's famous pancakes.

Can you tell me what that is?

It looks like a
pelvic girdle.

Pelv... What?
No, no, no, it's Mickey Mouse.

Oh, she's right,
Booth. There's

the pubis there,
and the ilia.

No, no, don't listen to your
mommy. See the... See the

mouse ears right there?
You see that?

Booth, there's
nothing wrong

with Christine
showing an interest

in human anatomy.
She's four years old.

She should be, you know,
interested in maple syrup

and cartoon mice.
Look, Mommy, I'm eating

the sacrum.
Uh, technically,

sweetheart, that's the ischium,

but very good.
Mommy and Me anatomy.

Isn't that fun?
My teacher's helping, too.

♪ The toe bone's
connected to the ♪

♪ Foot bone ♪

♪ The foot bone's
connected to the ♪

♪ Ankle bone ♪
I love that song. Huh?

♪ The neck bone's
connected to the ♪

♪ Back bone,
the back bone's ♪

♪ Connected to the ♪

♪ Chest bone... ♪
No, no, no...

There's no such thing
as the chest bone.

Your teacher shouldn't
be singing that.

The chest is comprised
of the hyoid,

the clavicle, sternum,
and-and the ribs.

Bones, she's four years ol...

Oh, all right, got a job.
Ooh.

Body was found buried
in a shallow grave

in the woods at Leakin Park.
Murder

and pancakes. What a way to
start the morning. We can drop

Christine off at the preschool
on the way. All right?

Can we sing the bones song
in the car, Daddy?

Well, why don't we stick
with "Wheels on the Bus"?

I don't know anything that
rhymes with clavicle, do you?

No. Exactly.

The narrow pelvic inlet
and flat profile

of the skull indicate

the victim was a Caucasian male,
but it seems

that his body was crushed

by some kind of weight.
That

would be the woman who
landed on him over there.

Mm-mm.
- Oh. Well,

separating the peri
from postmortem injuries

will be quite challenging.

What's that smell?
Uh, someone doused

the victim
in corrosive chemicals.

So it was a body dump.
Yeah, but I've never

seen this pattern
of decomposition before.

It looks like a mixture of acids

and bases, further decomposing
the tissue in some areas,

while neutralizing it in others.
Great, so it was

an amateur job. That's good for us.
I'll run an analysis

back at the lab,
see if I can figure out

what kind of corrosives
were used.

Great.
Uh, did you just say that...

the dirt had
acid in it?

Probably, but the damage
could have been caused...

...by a caustic base...
Ladies. Your clothes have chemicals on them.

You need to take immediate
evasive measures.

Now! Get naked!

I mean, is this
really necessary?

Not at all.

♪ Bones 10x16 ♪
The Big Beef at the Royal Diner
Original Air Date on April 30, 2015

♪ Main Title Theme ♪ The Crystal Method

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man



Well that woman from boot camp
really did some damage.

I agree.
There are fractures to the ribs,

clavicle, and the T6
through T9 vertebrae.

And his clothes are covered
in food stains.

Ah, it just
keeps getting

better and better.
Evidence of diffuse idiopathic

skeletal hypertosis
on the victim's spine

suggests he was diabetic.
Diabetes

makes sense, given
the extra organs I found. Uh,

two pancreases and three

kidneys, to be exact.

Isn't it "pancrei"?

Pancreases.
"Pancreata" is also acceptable.

Oh, this
scar tissue

would indicate that the victim

had both a kidney
and a pancreas transplant.

Oh, I can use
the United

Network of Organ Sharing
database

to see if I can find a match.

Yes. That's what
I'm talking about,

- baby. Yeah.
- You look happy.

Oh, yeah, I just got
a, uh, good report

from Christine's,
uh, preschool teacher.

She did really good.
You know, parents

get, you know, excited
about stuff like that.

Well, in
that case,

got a little coffee,
donuts to celebrate.

Sure, yeah. What's that? That...
Oh, uh,

just a, uh, egg sandwich
and some hash browns. Little

pick-me-up before lunch.
Well, you're not gonna want to eat

after you see this. Oh,
let me hold it. You got grease

all over your hands.

Our victim's Chili Reuben?

Yeah. Figured you'd know him.
Yeah, but who doesn't?

Gettin' Spicy with Chili Reuben

is one of the best shows on TV.

I've never seen it.
Seriously?

Seriously. If I want to watch
a guy put down a side of ribs,

two milkshakes and a double
cheeseburger in half an hour,

I got you.
Thank you.

Here, I'll show you.
Easy-- you got your greasy paws

all over my keyboard.
Watch this.

This week on Gettin'
Spicy with Chili Reuben,

you're gonna want
to fasten your seatbelts,

because things are about to get

muy caliente
in the Spicemobile.

I know how to cook 'em.

And I know how to eat 'em.
And there isn't

a greasy spoon in this
country I haven't hit. Mmm.

God, that turkey leg looks so good.
All right,

let's go back to the Web site.

Ah, here's something.

Look at the Twitter feed, huh?

Supposedly
he was in D.C.

last week shooting
a new episode.

I can't believe I missed him.

When he wasn't dead.
Tell you what, maybe

the producer's still in town
and we can talk to him.

Oh.
It's a good lead.

Hey, you got a minute?

Uh, hang on. I'm
cross-referencing the chemicals

you found on the victim to see
what products might match.

Okay.

Shoot.

I got a call today
from a company that

wants to manufacture
the honeycomb-structured

ultra rubber covering
that I invented.

Oh. Honey, that's amazing.
Do you think it's legit?

Well, I'm having a lawyer
look over the offer

now, but if this checks out,

this could be huge, Angie.

Yeah?

What do you think,
like, money huge?

They're only offering
a small advance

up front, but I will get

one dollar for every unit sold,

and they are projecting

to ship 20 million

units to start.

Oh... Oh, my God.

20 million?

Yeah.

Whoa.

Hold on. Does, um...

Okay. Wow.
Does Cam know about this?

I mean, how do you
think she's gonna

react? If she
hadn't prevented you

from working on it here,

the... the Jeffersonian

would be getting
most of that money.

Yeah.

You know what,
let's just wait and see

if it all works out first.

Yeah.
Right?

Yeah.

Okay. So... looks like
the sodium hydroxide

and sulfuric acid
came from commercial

cleaning substances.

Drain cleaners.

They're both
common brands,

so that's not
gonna help us much.

20 million units.

Just saying.

I can't believe Chili is dead.

We worked together for many years.
On the show,

Chili made it seem
like the whole crew was family.

Like that one
episode, season two,

the Spicemobile
slid into the ditch

'cause of all the cooking oil.

Yeah. So you guys
were close, though?

Chili and I had
a real yin and yang

thing going on, you know?

I was the calm one,

Chili was the-the boisterous

one. We were always friends.
Right. When was the last

time you saw him?
Friday afternoon.

We spent the day shooting
at different diners in D.C.

After we wrapped,
Chili got into the Spicemobile

and drove off
to do his own thing.

Well, we found his car keys
in his pocket and we already

put out a, uh, search on the vehicle.
Are you aware

of any enemies he may have had?
Oh, look, Chili, he...

he may have had a big
personality, but, uh...

And he could be
a bit of a hothead.

I'm not gonna deny that,
but people generally liked him.

Okay, look, we're
gonna have to take a look

at all the tapes that
you shot while you were

here in D.C.
Oh, yeah. Be my guest. Uh, there's

a ton of footage because
we haven't cut it together yet.

Bet there's some
amazing stuff in there.

I'm happy to go through that.
For the team.

Why don't you go back
to your monitor?

Right.

Oh. Mmm.

Best fish tacos
this side of the Mississippi.

Mm-hmm.
Up high. Yeah.

He's right,
that place is amazing.

Rolling. And action.

Oh, yeah.

Chicken and waffle ice cream
might sound like these guys are

winging it, but trust me,
this stuff is mmm,

mmm, mmm, finger

lickin' good.
Well, that's interesting.

Oh, I think they deliver
if you want to split a pint.

No, no, I'm

talking about Chili's earring.
Does he always wear that?

Oh, yeah. That's his signature--
the ruby chili pepper.

Well, it wasn't in any
of the evidence collected

at the crime scene.
Well, maybe a crazed fan

got him? I'll have the techs

check the dump site again.

Judging from the review
on Chili's Twitter feed,

the guy didn't pull

any punches.
Read that one.

Perhaps one of the local
restauranteurs

decided to take
their revenge?

Mm-mm. Not in the D.C. area.

According to all the footage
that we have so far,

Chili, he's given nothing
but positive reviews.

You still looking at,
uh, the Twitter feed?

No. I'm-I'm looking

for words that rhyme with...

lachrymal, trapezium and...

pisiform.
Right.

Sorry I asked.
Well, I want

to compose an anatomically
correct bones song

for Christine,
but songwriting

is more difficult
than I thought.

Well, it would help
if you were musically inclined.

Well, what I need is a bone
that rhymes with ethmoid.

What about scaphoid?
More coffee?

Wow. Hey, wow,

you speak squint, JoAnne.
Think I spent ten years

serving her lunch without
picking up a thing or two?

Oh, by the way,
uh, sphenoid and cuboid

would also work.
Thank you, JoAnne.

Although, I do recall asking
for no olives in my salad.

Ah.
Oh, I-I'm sorry

about that, Doc.
I mean, I would have Frankie

make you another one, except
he's kind of in a foul mood.

Hurry up! I need those fries!

You... you know,
I'll pick 'em out for you.

Thank you.
Okay, here we go. That's... my...

Oh, phone call.

I got it.
I got it. Um...

It's Aubrey.
Aubrey, you solve the case?

Of the six greasy spoons
that Chili visited

in D.C., he gave all but one
a positive review.

So we got a motive?

Yeah, and it's one
that you're not gonna like.

Listen to this.

"The best burgers
in the district"?

Maybe if you had
your taste buds removed!

The Royal Diner should be

charbroiled and fed to dogs!

Right. Thanks.

What's wrong, Booth?

Well, we had a lead in the case,
so we may have a suspect.

Why do you look so disappointed?

Because, um...

'cause it's Frankie.

How many times
do I have tell you?!

Keep your mouth shut
and do what I say!

Now get back to work!

That's... Wow.

Frankie?

Order up!
Adam and Eve on a raft, wrecked.

Cowboy with spurs.

Cowboy with spurs!

Would you look at this--
my two best customers.

Good to see you, Frankie, yep.
I'd like to visit,

- but... lunch rush.
- I really hate to do this to you,

Frankie, but, um...

Look, uh, you know,

well, Chili Reuben
was found dead,

and this was the last place
that he gave a bad review.

We know this is difficult for you,
but we have to ask you

a few questions.
Just a couple questions, that's all.

You're not saying
that I killed him?

I feed you for
the last ten years

every day, and this
is how you treat me.

I mean, look, hey,
I'd be upset, too.

I'd be really angry
if somebody trashed my work.

In his video,

Chili called your burgers
"bland and unmemorable."

I think they're good.
Chili trashed

my food because I refused
to pay him three grand

for a good review.
I'm not paying blood money

to some TV blowhard.
He tried to extort you?

Was there any witnesses?

Well, the only one back here
in the kitchen

is my dishwasher, Glen.

Excuse me.
FBI Special Agent...

Booth. Sir,
can you put that down, please?

Sorry about that.

You wouldn't happen
to have overheard

Chili try to squeeze some money
from my friend Frankie here?

I don't pay much attention to anything
that's not my job.

Okay.
Frankie won't let me.

Right, Frankie?
Mm-hmm.

You should really

drop it and leave me alone.

You know I can't do that.
That's like

you dropping your fries and
putting them back on the plate.

Man, I got to talk to you--
it's my job, Frankie.

Dr. Hodgins, have you found
anything that might tell us

what Chili was up to the
night he was murdered?

You mean other
than gorging himself?

Because so far all I have
are fried potatoes, canola oil,

beef, ketchup...
Well, I found evidence

of alcohol and marijuana
in his blood,

so clearly,
food wasn't his only indulgence.

There is
one other thing

that I found--
I am pretty sure

that he had hyperhidrosis.
Ooh.

Excessive perspiration-- he just
gets more and more appealing,

doesn't he?
Don't turn your nose up at sweat.

Our armpits
have a story to tell.

Yeah, from what I read

of the victim's file,
I'm guessing that is no fairy tale.

Clark! What are you
doing here?

Well, I saw this in the paper, and
then Cam called.

Look, if Frankie
is Chili's killer,

then that means JoAnne
and the other waitresses

will probably lose their jobs.

Yeah, and we may lose
our favorite lunch spot.

Not that our history

with the diner
will affect our ability

to remain impartial.
But if another set of eyes

could help... You are a good,
kind woman, Camille Saroyan.

Just doing my job.

Speaking of which,
shouldn't you be

in the bone room, Dr. Edison?
Yes, of course,

but there is something
that I want to show you first,

so...

Okay, I lied.

I have nothing
to show you.

I'm confused.
Okay, normally,

I wouldn't put myself
in the middle

of these kind of things, and...

they have the potential to, uh,
get a little awkward, so...

Do you mind cutting
to the chase, Dr. Edison?

It's Arastoo.
Arastoo?

You heard from him? From Iran?
Yes. He e-mailed me.

It's not weird,
because we're friends.

Is something wrong? Is he okay?
Nothing's wrong.

That's the point.

He just wanted me
to reassure you

that everything's fine.

Is there a reason why

he didn't tell me
this himself?

He said he did tell you,

more than once,

but you didn't seem
to believe him.

Well, because
going back to Iran

could get him arrested.
Yeah, but he hasn't been.

He's been with his brother--
that's the only reason

he hasn't written more.

He said Hamid

isn't doing very well.
No.

But Arastoo

is fine, Dr. Saroyan.

And me worrying just
makes it harder for him--

I get it.
No, I...

I didn't say that.
No,

not in an obvious way.

And for that...

well, thank you.

Oh.

Okay. Oh, techs have
combed the dump site

three times so far,

and no sign of
the chili pepper earring.

Well, maybe...

maybe Chili was
a sloppy drunk,

and someone took advantage
of him and stole it from him.

Well, if those
rubies are real,

that could be
a pretty valuable earring.

Yeah, wouldn't be
the first time

that a robbery
went wrong.

I pulled Chili's financials.

Turns out he was flat broke.
Wait a second,

how does the star
of a hit TV show end up broke?

Well, according
to these records,

a series of foolish investments,

bad overspending,

sports cars,
houses in Aspen,

Nantucket, Miami.

Plus, the man did like his bling.
Someone else did, too.

We found his earring
at a local pawnshop.

Someone came in
and pawned his earring

two hours
before Chili was killed.

We get an I.D. on him?
Got a receipt.

Lists him as Brian Terrio.

Sorry to interrupt, but...

I'm enhancing
the pawnshop security footage,

and I think I have a match.
Looks like

the name's a fake.

So Brian Terrio
is really Kenneth Morton.

Why does that name
sound familiar?

Because he worked
on Chili's TV show.

Morton was the sound guy,
and he's got a record.

Wow, look
at the rap sheet, huh?

Breaking and entering, petty theft.
Crew's still

at the hotel.
All right, sounds good.

Thanks, Angela.
You got it.

Take a look at this, Dr. Edison.

Fractures on the victim's
left temporal and parietal bones

that appear to have been
caused by blunt force trauma

from a single
point of impact.

Well, they must be
from something big.

The fractures extend all the way
from the coronal suture,

maxillary and zygomatic process.
By measuring them,

you might be able
to determine

the size and shape of
the object that struck

Chili's skull.

Dr. Brennan, I'm confused
about these notes.

I wasn't aware that we found
injuries to the frontal,

nasal, vomer
or nasal conchae.

Oh, those aren't
for this case.

Those are lyrics to a song
I'm writing for Christine

about the human
skeletal system.

Oh, that's very nice.

Well, if I was to write a song
about all the fractures

I found on these ribs,
it might take an entire opera.

They appear to run
along a diagonal line

across the sternal ribs,
from three...

all the way down to rib
eight on the left side.

Well, Chili clearly got whacked
there with something, too.

Judging from the curvature
of the indentations,

the weapon must have had
a cylindrical shape,

like... a golf club or pool cue.

Or maybe...

...something like this.

The sound man's
boom pole.

So...

two days ago
your boss gets murdered,

today we pick you up
at the bus station,

two grand in your pocket,
about to skip town.

I was going to Philadelphia
to visit my mother

in the hospital.
You do realize that

we have footage of you

pawning Chili's earring
using a fake name.

I only did that

because he told me to.

Okay. Did Chili tell you to...

whack him in the ribs
using your boom pole, too?

No, no,

it wasn't like that.

Chili and I were
at some bar,

and he wanted to...
"take the party up a notch."

So he gave me
his earring and...

told me to pawn it
and buy him some crank.

Oh.

And you thought,
what a good idea!

He was my boss,
so yeah.

I couldn't find any.

I texted Chili, told him,
but he never texted me back.

So you kept the money.
Yeah. And kept my mouth shut.

It wouldn't have looked
too good after he died.

Yeah, no, you're right.

And it still doesn't.

Hey. You, uh, located
the Spicemobile?

Huh? No, no,
not yet. Why?

Oh. Well, you couldn't wait
to see me, so I figured you were

knee-deep
in particulates.

Uh, no, but we are
knee-deep in Benjamins.

I just got the paper
back from the lawyer,

and now they are
projecting that

we're going to sell
40 million units

the first year alone,

and they just gave
me a $2 million advance.

What?!

Oh, my God.
Yeah.

Oh, my God!

Is this really happening?

Yes.
And I don't know why

I'm so excited, because
it's not like I've never been rich before.

Well, yeah,
but that was

family money-- this is
the first time you're rich

because of something you did, alone.
Yeah. Yeah.

The hard thing now,
though, is, like...

I mean, I just, I got to
figure out how to tell Cam.

Tell Cam what?

Uh...

I just heard back
from the hospital

in Philly-- Morton's
story checks out.

So the mother really is sick?
Yep. He's telling the truth.

Maybe. Let's see if the
bartender confirms seeing Chili

at the bar with Morton.

You have no trust;
I like it, though.

Yup. That's the jerk
who gave me the black eye.

Wait a second,

you and Chili fought?
About 20 minutes

after his friend left.

I mean, that Chili guy
was hammered.

You do realize
that according

to Chili's colleague,
your bar was the last place

Chili was seen alive?
Hey, look, I don't know nothing

about no murder.
Last time I seen that fool,

I was kicking his ass out
the door, just like I do

all the obnoxious drunks.

So in other words, you...
you let a customer

who was completely intoxicated
get behind the wheel of a car?

I took his keys--
that's when the fight started.

That's how I ended up with this.
Right.

You guys were fighting outside.
You know what I'm thinking,

I'm thinking maybe they're
getting into this big brawl

outside, things escalate, this guy,
you know, thinks he's above it all,

because he's famous, right?

You get angry,
you hit him more than once,

and, well...
I was trying to help the dude.

He decked me-- that's when he took
his keys back and he drove off.

Any idea where he went?
No clue.

At that point,
I was just happy to see him go.

You remember
the honeycomb-structured

ultra rubber covering
that I was working on?

Um, I sold it.

Oh, c-congratulations.
For...

$2 million.
That is just the advance.

Sorry.
So, I just wanted

to make sure, you know, that
there were no hard feelings...

Wait, wait, wait.

If I had let you test that
in the lab,

most of that money would've gone
to the Jeffersonian?

Uh, legally, yes.

Oh, my God.

You're-you're pissed.

Why? I followed every rule,

every protocol, and for once

I'm not
the bad guy.

Wait, you're happy about this?

Are you kidding?
I-I couldn't be happier.

Two of my best, most dedicated
colleagues won the lottery,

and it's all because of some
bloated bureaucratic rule book?

Th-This is j... this is...

It's wonderful!

Gee.

I wish we could go out
and celebrate,

you guys paying, of course,

but we-we've got a case.

Right.
And I got the results

from the test
on his hair follicles.

It turns out Chili did have
a crank habit,

but there's no evidence
he used the day he was murdered.

Well, if Chili

wanted crank and Morton didn't
get it for him,

then maybe he just went
and got it for himself.

I found abrasions
on Chili's right metacarpals

and second, third,
and fourth proximal phalanges.

That would be consistent with the
bartender's description of the fight.

Yes. But I would prefer
that we find evidence

that points
to something we don't know.

We will.
We are quite a team, Clark.

Yes. We are.

You know, it-it just always

kind of weirds me out
when you refer to me

by my first name.

Temperance.

Hmm. I thought you couldn't
bring yourself to use mine.

Yeah, I gave it a shot.

I got to tell you,
it hurt a little bit, but...

it made it easier for me,
to, um,

give you this.

I couldn't get the idea
of your song out of my head,

so I jotted down
a few words for you.

"From the incus to the coccyx,
the stapes

"to the talus, you better
watch your ethmoid and vomer

when you're driving top down
in Dallas."

Hmm, very clever.

Well, thank you.

You know... you know,
if you have any more ideas

that you want
for your song, you know, um,

we're quite the team,

I've been told.
I would welcome your help.

Thank you.
You're welcome.

Hey. Take a look

at this
hairline fracture

on the margin of the glenoid
fossa of the right scapula.

It seems to...

extend all the way down

to the olecranon fossa
of the ulna.

From the amount of remodeling,
these injuries

are at least
three weeks old.

So it seems that Chili had been
in more than one fight recently.

Because he didn't
behave decently.

He plays the nice guy
facetiously.

Get it. Get it,
Dr. Brennan. Get...

Perhaps one song
at a time.

Yeah. Of course.

Dr. Ed...
Dr. Edison,

uh, can I have a word with you?

Oh. Yes, Dr. Saroyan.

"Hungry, sleep-deprived,
and in need of a shower.

But otherwise, all is well.
Miss you. Love, Arastoo."

So, this e-mail worries you why?

Wh-What if he's been arrested
and this is some kind of code?

Starvation and sleep deprivation
are very common forms

of torture.
Oh, okay. But so is being

hungry and tired because
you're in the hospital all day

with your dying brother.
B-But I've tried

to call him for the last two
hours and he's not picking up.

Yeah, okay.
That's because

it's the middle
of the night there.

You think I'm making too much
of this, don't you?

No, those are
your words,

not mine.

I j...

I was fine. I really was.

And then all of a sudden
this wave of worry comes over me

and I am just... I am convinced
that something horrible

has happened to him. I can't stop it.
Okay.

Okay, look, it's understandable.

You're so used
to controlling things,

and you just can't in this case.

So now I'm a control freak?
What?

- No. No, no. I'm not...
- First of all,

I didn't say "freak."
No, no...

We're-we're good.
Thank you. We're done.

You know, this isn't my fault,
Dr. Saroyan.

Look, if
I could,

I would take
all your worry away.

I just can't.

I'm sorry. I...

I guess
I'm-I'm...

just... looking for a reason
why all this is happening.

Something that...

something that would satisfy
a control freak.

But...

if you'll just be honest with me
if you hear anything...

Dr. Saroyan...

...I'm a very bad liar.

I think that's
why Arastoo

chose me to reassure you.

I just wish
I had done a better job.

Wow, this neighborhood
is horrible, isn't it?

Uh, yeah.
So why the smile, Doc?

In the field.
Gives me a rush.

It's like I'm taking
my life into my own hands.

Well, I'm not sure you're taking
your life in your hands.

I mean, I'm armed,
there are cops here.

Just saying, I'm not
intimidated. Booth knows that.

Which is why he said, "You take
him, Aubrey. I'll stay here."

Exactly. Oh, there it is.
Thanks. Might have missed it.

Wow. I can't believe

that I am actually seeing
the Spicemobile in person.

Oh. And smelling it.

Yeah, this place
is ripe.

It's pretty disappointing
to find out

your hero's a total slob.
Eh, I disagree.

There are no particulates
as good as slob particulates.

At least he added
a navigation system.

If Angela can tell us where
Chili drove over the past week,

it might lead us
to his killer.

Oh, wow. This slob makes pigs
look dainty.

All right, you know what,
we're just gonna take

the entire van
back to the lab.

I'll bet
this was delicious once.

Aubrey, please don't eat that.

Bones. Hey.

Booth, what are you doing here?
Well, I was doing some digging

into, uh, Chili Reuben's
shoulder injury,

and it turns out he was
in Memphis in the emergency room

three weeks ago.
Memphis?

Yeah, he was there, um, shooting
some episodes of the show.

That's very interesting. But
you could've just told me this

on the phone.
I got you this.

Booth.

Oh, it's beautiful.

Like it?

Love it.
Yeah. Let me help you...

put it on.

Here you go. Thanks.

Okay.

Kind of resembles a
humerus bone, right?

Well, if you curved it,
I suppose.

How does it look?

Like I made the right choice.

It is quite exquisite.
I was...

talking about you.

I made
the right choice.

I'm just so lucky

to have you as my wife.

I have something for you, too.
For me?

Well, what are you doing
with my gambling sobriety chip?

I found it in the laundry.

I must have left it
in my pocket.

It's not like you, Booth.

You always know
where your chip is.

Well, you know what,

I know where it is now
because of you.

Did you find anything useful
in Chili's navigation system?

Yes. I hacked into its history
and pulled up all the maps

of where Chili traveled
during this past week in D.C.

It turns out on four of the six
days Chili was in town, he left

the diners he was reviewing

to drive
to more respectable restaurants.

And he did the same thing
in other cities.

Sounds like the King
of the Greasy Spoon

didn't practice
what he preached.

And I downloaded his calendar
from the cloud.

These are the people
he ate with.

Who are they?

Reality TV show producers.

I thought
he already had a producer.

Looks like he wanted
to get rid of him.

Why would I kill him?

Without Chili, I
don't have a show.

Chili was firing you
from the show

that you two created together.

Okay? Logic goes out the window
when you're in a rage, Sid.

I-I had no idea
that that disloyal bastard

was planning to replace me.
I think you found out

what Chili was up to
when you were down in Memphis.

Hmm? You two fought,
you sent him to the E.R.

Then three weeks later,
you decided to finish him off.

Chili went to the hospital

in Memphis because he jumped out
of a moving car

when I tried
to take him to rehab.

Rehab?
Yeah. I mean, this guy,

he was seriously screwed up.

Between the-the drinking

and-and the drugs and
all the one-night stands,

do you know how many
waitresses I had to pay off

so they wouldn't leak
their stories to the tabloids?

So what are you
still doing

in town then, Sid?
I mean, if Chili's gone,

there's no more show, is there?

Well, the network is, uh...
is forcing me

to finish the episode
without him.

Uh, they expect the ratings
to go through the roof

now that he's dead.
Oh, that's interesting.

So you get fired from the show

and your career's
in the toilet, but if you end

on a ratings high note,
then you're

hot property,
right?

There's evidence of blood
on the floor back here,

and it looks like someone tried
to clean it up.

Well, it could belong to
Chili or to his killer.

Wow.

It isn't gonna be easy
to find evidence

of a struggle in this mess.

I cannot believe
that anyone

would treat
such a fantastic vehicle

like a rolling Roman food orgy.
Uh,

that orgy may not have been
exclusively for food.

We have body fluids.

Ew. Well,

if the van's a-rockin'...
Yep.

And judging from the amount
of hydration,

they're fairly recent.
Do you smell something?

Yeah, I'm trying not to.
I don't know. It's something floral.

But that could be a good thing
for us. Yeah.

If I can actually get
an air sample and run it

through the gas chromatograph,
I should be able to isolate

the smell and reformulate it chemically.
Okay.

While you do that, I'm gonna see
what I can get from the fluids.

Sounds good.
Smell you later.

Dr. Brennan,
I've already examined the skull.

Yes, but based

on the defensive wounds
we found earlier,

I decided to take
another look,

and I found something
very interesting.

There's a crescent-shaped bruise
on the occipital.

How did we miss this?

Well, it's likely
we didn't notice it before

because it was hidden
under Chili's hair plug scars.

I'd like to take another look
at the X-rays of our skull.

You seem agitated,
Dr. Edison.

Well, no, "frustrated"
is more accurate.

We've only used 187 bones
in the song so far,

and I'm having second thoughts
about rhyming

"calcaneus" with "malleus."
It's...

Anxiety is

a perfectly normal
physiological response

to the vulnerability that comes

with engaging in a
creative endeavor.

Oh, that's good to know.

Look. I knew I saw something.

There's a tiny missing fragment
on the occipital.

Something must have
hit him there.

Though the force of the
hit doesn't appear to be

strong enough to kill him.
Yes, but still, if we found

the implement
that was used to make this,

it could lead us to our killer.

So I isolated all the aromas
that weren't food-based

into their own
individual compounds,

which I then reformulated
into a condensed,

more intensified
version.

Look, before you turn
on the Smell-O-Vision,

Dr. Hodgins,
I just want

to thank you both
for being here today.

Uh... it's kind of our job.

I realize that,

but anyone else who got
a check for $2 million

probably would have
taken the day off.

Oh.

Yeah, I guess that's true. I...

I didn't even think about that.

Which is why I
said thank you.

I hope I haven't
given you any ideas.

No.
No. No, no.

Look, first of all, we know
how quickly it can disappear,

and we love our jobs, so...
sniffers ready.

All right, so far,
I have identified

benzaldehyde,
ethyl acetate, sage...

This is gonna
be tough, but...

It's perfume.

I'd recognize
that perfume anywhere.

It's JoAnne.

Uh, who's JoAnne?

JoAnne's the waitress
at the Royal Diner.

She never mentioned that her
and Chili got personal.

In the back of
the Spicemobile, no less.

Based on the injuries
to the side of Chili's head,

I'm not so sure that
that encounter was consensual.

There was no assault.

Chili and I hooked up
in the back of his Spicemobile.

Consensually.

I'm not proud of it, but last
I checked, it's not a crime.

No, but lying to the FBI is.
I didn't want Frankie

to know that I slept
with the guy who was about

to trash our diner
on national TV.

Hey, look, maybe you
just got angry at Chili

because he used you for sex,
so you...

you took something off
the spice rack, you smashed him

in the face, next thing
you know, he's dead.

No.

The only way I could have
injured him

was with a partial disruption

of his posterior
sacroiliac complex.

If you know what I'm saying.

Why is she talking like you?

It means an injury caused
by excessive movement

of the pelvis
during sex.

Nicely described, JoAnne.

Thank you.

Look, I mean...
just one of those things.

It was a...
quickie in the back of a van.

It was nice to feel
like a kid again.

And what happened after that?
Nothing.

He took off in the van.
That's the last

I've seen of him.
Look, you know what?

If we're done here,
I need to go back to work.

I do make most
of my living on tips.

Oh, hold on.
I got a tip for you.

I wouldn't think
about leaving town.

I may have to talk to you again.

You can forget
about your free refills.

What?

And the trapezoid, radius,
scapula, lunate, hamate ♪

♪ The bones in the arm,
they run the full gamut... ♪

Very nice, Dr. Brennan.

I had no idea
you were so talented.

Oh. Yes.

Sometimes I surprise myself.

Right.

Well, I got the test results

from the blood
in the back of the van.

It isn't JoAnne's,
and it isn't Chili's, either.

Well, it could still belong
to the killer.

Not unless Chili was murdered
by a double cheeseburger.

Turns out it's beef blood.

Oh. I was hoping
for more of a clue.

We all were.

Dr. Brennan, can I
ask you a question?

Oh. If I can sing

while inspecting the bones,
I can certainly converse.

Do you think...
do you think Arastoo

didn't ask me to go
to Iran with him

because I've been
so noncommittal

about the whole marriage thing?

I imagine everyone

is telling you
that he'll be fine over there.

Yeah, but I...

I can't stop worrying.
Of course not.

The truth is, Arastoo
could be arrested in Iran

or even executed.

If you were with him,

you would have been
in danger, too.

He knew that.

Wow.

Thanks for...

not holding back.

Arastoo loves you, Cam.

Whether or not you marry him.

That's why he didn't
want you to...

go with him.

I would have done
the same thing.

So would I.

Then you should
feel better.

I do. Yes.

Thank you.

Dr. Brennan
asked me to take

another look at the
X-rays of the skull.

I think I might have
found something.

Now, it's pretty small,
but there appears to be

evidence of hemorrhagic staining
on the tympanomastoid.

Maybe you could swab it.
Yeah.

It's the ear canal, right?
Well, technically,

it's the bone
surrounding it.

But you know
what the strange thing is?

Chili showed no sign
of cerebrovascular trauma.

Without that,

hemorrhagic staining
to the tympanomastoid

could only mean one thing.

Chili drowned.

That would explain why
we missed it before.

Forensically, drowning has
no diagnostic features.

And Chili's lung tissue was
too damaged by the corrosives

to show evidence
of excessive fluid.

Plus...

this crescent-shaped
bruise to the occipital

is the same size and
shape of a sink faucet.

If Chili was killed
at the diner,

then the particulates
and missing fragment

may still be
in the drain catch.

Oh, yeah.

So, according
to Chili's injuries,

the killer pushed him
against the edge of the sink,

causing the line of fractures
along the lower ribs.

Then, when Chili tried

to raise his head to gasp
for air, he banged his head

on the faucet,
bruising his occipital.

If that graphic is accurate,

the faucet at the diner
looks too small

to have left that mark
on his head.

Yeah, you're right.

Well, I reexamined

Chili's lung tissue,
and I found evidence

of glycerin, sodium sulfate,

hydrolyzed vegetable protein...

Aren't those
ingredients common

in the types of drain cleaner
used to decompose the body?

That's what I assumed,
until I discovered

the presence of aloe Vera
and coconut oil.

Wait, that sounds
more like soap.

Yeah.
It does.

Which would explain the
foreign epithelial cells

I found that weren't
a match for Chili's.

Pull up the Web site of
the motel Chili was staying at.

There's got to be
pictures of the rooms.

Okay, here, let's take
a look at the bathtub.

Now, without exact measurements,
it's hard to be certain,

but the bruise
on Chili's skull

seems to be a match
to that faucet.

And I'm guessing his rib
fractures line up, too.

- Sure looks like it.
- Wait a minute.

But I thought the FBI
combed through Chili's room

and found no evidence
of foul play.

But the entire crew
was staying at that motel.

Chili could have been killed
in someone else's room.

So, what was it,
Kenneth? I mean,

you couldn't watch
Chili destroy his body

with all the drinking,

the smoking and
the junk food?

What Chili did with his personal
life was none of my business.

Except that it was because--
you know why? Your mother is in

the hospital right now
dying of kidney failure.

Records show
that she spent

two years on the transplant list

waiting for a kidney
that never showed up.

What, and Chili
just walks in

and gets two organ transplants

and he still
abuses himself?

It was like him giving
your mother the finger.

We found a fragment

of Chili's skull
inside your bathtub drain.

And we found your epithelial
cells inside Chili's lungs.

We know you did it, man.

I didn't mean to kill him.

I swear.

He shows up drunk.

I'm in the bath.

He's screaming
about how I couldn't score

any crank for him.

And then he
starts ransacking

my bathroom, looking for pills.

The guy was so drunk,
he slips on the wet floor

and hits his head on the toilet.

That would explain the trauma

to the temporal
and parietal bones.

Yeah, but that only
made him crazier.

Then he starts swinging at me.

I... I-I couldn't
take it anymore.

I held him underwater
to shut him up.

Then you just dumped the body
and went to go see your mom.

Yeah.

I didn't know
what else to do.

Whoa.

Wow, this place is packed.

Probably because of all
the publicity from our case.

There's Frankie
right over there.

Hey, my three
favorite customers.

I saved your
table for you.

Look at that, huh? You sure
you're not still mad at us?

Are you kidding me?

Business is better than ever.
Enjoy.

Thanks.

Can we sing Daddy the
song while we wait?

Whoa.
What, here?

Wait a second.
What song?

"The Bone Song."
The real one. "The Bone Song"?

Wait a second. You didn't
butcher the song, did you?

Songs shouldn't be dumbed
down for children, Booth.

Okay.

One, two, three...

♪ The tibia, fibula,
femur and patella ♪

♪ If the shoe fits
your metatarsals ♪

♪ Then you might be Cinderella ♪

♪ So get off your sacrum ♪

♪ Get off your coccyx ♪

♪ Wave your triquetrum
and capitate ♪

♪ In the air ♪

♪ Shake your cuneiform ♪

♪ And navicular ♪

♪ Like you just don't care. ♪

Wow. You guys can rap.

Now it's your turn, Daddy.

No, no, no, I don't rap.
Please, Daddy!

Come on, Daddy.
Don't be a spoilsport.

Okay. Here we go.

♪ The mandible and palatine ♪

♪ The lacrimal and malleus... ♪

♪ Wait, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait ♪

♪ It's all so confusing ♪

♪ These bones are so numerous ♪

♪ I hope that there's
a funny bone ♪

♪ 'Cause it's so humerus ♪

♪ Not bad for a guy
who I thought ♪

♪ Didn't know his coccyx
from his cubitus. ♪

So, what can I get
the Von Trapp family tonight?

Uh... round of milk shakes, huh?

♪ Chocolate and vanilla,
leave a mess on my maxilla. ♪

Good one, Christine.
♪ I'll make sure ♪

♪ That I don't twist
my cuneiform ♪

♪ 'Cause I just might get
soda on my uniform. ♪

Huh?

Ah, it's gonna be
a long night. Yep.

More singing, Daddy.

♪ Clavicle, clavicle ♪

♪ Watch out 'cause Daddy's
gonna tickle your left ♪

♪ Schmavicle, schmavicle. ♪

No, that's not anatomically
accurate, Booth.

I know, Bones,
but you better be careful,

or I'm gonna tickle
your schmavicle.

No, I've had enough of that.

== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man