Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 7, Episode 27 - The Genius - full transcript
ANNOUNCER: The following program
is brought to you in
living color on NBC.
(fanfare plays)
♪♪
He sat down to write a poem.
One about life and things.
On that would tell
and shriek and yell.
One that would soar and sing.
He would mention his mind and...
and the trees and the sea.
And his heart and
his girl and their love.
He defined what was
good, what was bad,
what was odd... and
add a coda... to God.
So... he thought and he pondered
upon all these
things till his being
rumbled with fear.
So he put down his
pen lit a cigarette...
(wry laugh)
then...
ended his poem right here.
(laughter)
Dad-burnit, Mr. Smith.
How do you keep all them poems
in your head straight like that?
I mean, you've been going
on like this for a couple hours.
Just a simple accident
of nature, Mr. Cartwright.
- Like warts.
- (chuckles)
Who, uh, who wrote this one?
An ancient Druid priest,
name of Collywobbles.
Who was foully slain
by a pack of rabid suffragettes.
For the inner man.
(Hoss chuckles)
'Neath the weeds
and the wild berries,
near the barren, praying trees,
past that gash of
a road by my home
- stood...
- (music machine begins playing)
(machine continues
playing lilting melody)
When did the deafness
first strike you, friend?
Look, mister,
I been putting up with your
stuff for near an hour now.
That's long enough, I'd say.
Then you don't plan to
cease playing that machine.
No, I don't.
Ah... well, in that case,
I shall strike you so hard
that you will have to remove
your boots to brush your teeth.
Here, have a drink.
(laughter)
Ah!
Come on, fellas! Come on,
leave him alone, leave him alone!
Leave him alone!
Get away from him!
(shouts)
(music machine stops playing)
(grunts)
(exhales)
To the victors!
(snoring)
Will!
(theme song playing)
♪♪
BEN: Hoss?
I thought I heard you come in.
What have you got in here?
- Here?
- Yeah.
Oh, I just got a little food
I'm taking out to the barn.
Has your horse developed
a fondness for peach pie?
(both laughing)
Oh, Pa, this ain't for my horse.
It's, uh... it's for a
feller I met in town. I...
You put him up in the barn?
Yeah, he was sort of
sick, see, Pa, and I...
Of course, we always put
sick people up in the barn.
Well, he ain't
exactly sick, you see.
He, uh... he had a
little too much to-to eat.
That's it. He overate.
- He... ate too much, yeah.
- Ah. Mmm.
And that's why you're
bringing him some more food.
I ain't doing too well, am I?
Not so far.
(sighs) Well, the truth
of the matter is, Pa,
he had a little
too much to drink.
Uh-huh.
No, the truth of the matter is
he had way too much to drink.
He's drunk.
Hoss... Hoss, you...
Why do you always have
to turn this place into a...
a home for grown-up foundlings?
Well, Pa, I couldn't
just leave him in town.
Of course you couldn't
leave him in town.
Any time some
fella runs into town
and gets himself roaring drunk,
it becomes your responsibility.
Right?
Well, it does if I
bought him some of it.
- Oh.
- Pa, it was perfectly innocent.
I-I just bought him a couple
of drinks while he was recitin'.
While he was recitin'?
Well, he...
he wasn't exactly
recitin'. He was...
he was telling me what
a good hand he was.
- That's what he was doing.
- Oh.
And I remember you telling
us that we needed a new hand.
Wait a minute.
You didn't hire him.
Well, Pa, he had... he
had awful good references.
Well, so far the only
references I've heard
is that he gets drunk.
Oh, Hoss. I... Honestly...
Well, I suppose it
wouldn't hurt to...
try him out, anyway.
Well, I'll, uh... I'll just take
this on out to the barn...
There's one good thing about
the whole situation though:
at least he's a ranch hand.
He's not one of
those other strays
that you're always
bringing home.
(sighs) Yeah.
Oh... (chuckles)
Why, Little Red Riding Hood,
how kind of you not to
forget your old granny.
(chuckles)
There's some good
chicken in here for you.
You didn't bring a bottle?
Look, Mr. Smith, we
got to sober you up.
Why?
Because you got a
job here, that's why.
I have a what?!
Well, you-you're broke,
you ain't got no money,
so you must need a job.
(chuckles)
I don't know how to
do anything on a ranch!
You'll learn.
Why are you so interested in me?
Well, I sort of...
backed myself into
a corner, I reckon.
I'm sort of committed to you.
What will I have to do?
Well, the first thing you
got to do is sober up.
Now, go on, try
some of the chicken.
It's good.
Come on.
Don't you have
anything to drink?
Yep. Here you go.
Assassin!
(laughs)
♪♪
(snoring)
Pull down that shade!
(scoffs)
(gunshots)
(grunts)
(sighs)
Don't you know you
could kill a man like that?
Well, there's one thing for dang
sure, work ain't gonna kill you.
I, uh...
Oh, what happened was I-I
had to move into the shade
because... I felt a
sunstroke coming on.
Yeah, I imagine that
100-proof sunstroke
must be pretty rough stuff.
Now, look, we're not paying
you to sleep, you know.
HOSS: Joe, you heard him.
Said he felt a
sunstroke coming on.
What, you're gonna believe that?
Well, I don't see any
reason why not to.
Brother, remind
me to talk to you
about the Easter Bunny sometime.
(scoffs quietly)
Uh, your faith in human
nature is refreshing.
Your, uh, brother
seemed to think I was lying.
Come on, Will.
Let's face it. Let's be honest.
You got a hangover that's
longer than a 20-foot log
on a ten-foot buckboard.
Well, if you think
that, why did you...
HOSS: Well, I'll tell
you, my friend, I...
I just got a feeling that
somewhere, mixed in
with all that booze and
baloney, there's a man.
You're taking a lot
for granted, aren't you?
Maybe I am.
Last night, in the Silver
Dollar Saloon, you were a man.
Oh, you were all
liquored up, all right, but...
you knew what them
words was about.
You knew what
they meant and why.
So I figure, somewhere
in that frame,
there's enough of a man
that it's worth the trouble.
Tell you what I'm
gonna do, Will...
I'm gonna set
down right over there
and I'm gonna watch you
chop that stump down to size,
if it takes all
day and all night.
Get to choppin'.
Go on.
(grunts, hisses)
Well, how'd you like
your first day, Smith?
(sighs)
No one told me that the
tree stumps on the Ponderosa
were made out of stone.
(bell clanging outside)
Better get a move on,
Smith. That's supper.
Don't mention food to me.
I'll eat your share.
(door shuts)
♪♪
Put it back...
or I'll tear you limb from limb.
Be reasonable, Draves.
All I want is-is a little sip,
that's all, just to steady...
That's my bottle. You
took it from my saddlebag.
Please, Draves.
Hand it over, Smith!
(grunting)
(grunts, shouts)
Is this what you're looking for?
That's mine, Mr. Cartwright.
He took it from my saddlebag.
Is that true?
Well... Is it true?
Yes!
You be sure you're off
the Ponderosa by morning.
Hoss...
you don't know
how bad it can get.
Yeah.
I reckon I don't, Will, but...
I know how bad you
can get, now, don't I?
(theme music playing)
The affirmation... of man.
One rises from his chair
and confirms the
affirmations of...
(chuckles)
Well, if you would
stop and think about it,
you'd realize that there
has to be a certain trust
between human
beings... No more credit.
But... (chuckles) in
a healthy economy,
there has to be a
certain amount of...
give and take.
All right.
A poem then.
Now, that's another thing
you and me better get straight.
I heard enough of your
poems to last me forever.
But if you would
just allow me to...
Look, rum bum, get out.
I'm sick of you.
No ape is going to
dictate terms to me.
Eh, ugh!
I'll swindle you
- within an inch of your life!
- Get your hands off of me!
- The affirmation of man!
- Get him out of here!
- Get him out of here!
- Man's affirmation...
Get your hands off me!
You fool!
(panting)
(onlookers laughing)
I'm not a drunk!
(laughter continues)
I'm not a bum!
(laughter continues)
(laughter stops)
Never mind, Ed,
I'll take care of him.
You go ahead with your laughing.
Come on, Will.
Come on.
I'm not drunk, Hoss.
I'm just... dying.
Some people refuse
to accept the fact
that the human brain was never
meant to be pickled in alcohol.
Yeah.
He is gonna be all right
though, ain't he, Doc?
Hmm. Man's got the
constitution of a horse.
And if he keeps on drinking,
he'll have the
lifespan of one also.
Let's see.
Oh.
I'll need his name
for the prescription.
Uh, it's Will Smith, I think.
Not according to this.
William Warlock Evans?
Evans?
Here's a letter
addressed to him.
From San Francisco,
from a Mrs. Lydia Evans.
That got to be his wife?
That couldn't be the
one that's a poet, could it?
I don't know. I
never heard of him.
William Warlock Evans is one
of the most gifted young poets
this country's got.
Do you suppose
that's him in there?
You know, Doc, it just could be.
As a matter of
fact, I'll bet you it is.
Damnation!
Damnation! I've
slipped in a bog!
Hey, Will. Come on. Hey...
Lay down, buddy.
Relax, relax. Come on.
DOCTOR: Stop
thrashing about here.
- Just relax, Will.
- Stay down.
- Lie down and relax.
- Stay down and relax, buddy.
- Stay down.
- Come on. Come on.
Now... stay there.
Where do you think I
could go dressed like this?
You're feeling dizzy?
No, this is the
way I always talk.
(Will chuckles)
Well, I've got some sad
news for you, my friend.
You're gonna have
to stop drinking.
Oh, did it take you all eight
years of medical school
to figure that out?
Hoss, I'll leave
Mr. Evans' prescription
- down with Matt Draber.
- Right, Doc.
- You can pick it up there.
- Yes, sir.
(Will groans)
You know... I always felt...
there was a certain resemblance
between doctors and bartenders.
They both strive to remove pain.
Then they restore
the agony with a bill.
(chuckling)
Now, if they were
going to be fair about it...
What did he call me?
He called you Mr. Evans.
Mr. Evans.
What are you going to do?
(sighs)
I don't know.
I can tell you what
I'd like to do. I'd...
like to take you back to the
Ponderosa and dry you out.
Why?
(chuckles) I don't know.
(sighs) Maybe
I'm a sucker, but...
I got a notion that a
man like you's worth it.
And as soon as we got
you on your feet again,
we can get ahold of your
wife and get her out here.
No!
What do you think
I'm running from?!
Look, I'd-I'd rather burn
in hell through all eternity
than...
than to spend one
second with that woman.
Well, that's...
that's sort of up to you, Will.
Your father wouldn't
take me back, anyway.
I'm a convicted thief,
drawn and quartered.
Yeah, but...
once he finds out who you are...
No one is to know who I am.
I mean that.
I've carried the burden of being
William Warlock Evans too long.
Now...
you still think you can
get me that job back?
I don't know.
But... we can try.
Well, so far, you haven't
given me one valid reason.
Pa, I-I just think he
needs help, that's all.
Oh, he needs help, all right.
I think we're all in
agreement with that.
Hoss, I-I don't
want to appear hard.
Oh, Pa, I know your point.
But, dad-burnit, I got one, too.
It ain't as easy to
explain as yours, but...
Pa, if you had seen
him out there today
when I picked him up, you'd
know what I was talking about.
You want to hire him?
All right, you hire
him, you pay him,
you be responsible for him.
Yes, sir.
He's out there in the bunkhouse.
I think I'll go tell
him right now.
That boy's just too
easygoing for his own good.
I agree with you, Pa.
You're absolutely right.
Got that silly notion
about trying to help people.
I just don't know
where he gets it from.
Your food's getting cold.
(chuckles)
(grunts, sighs)
It looks like wood,
it feels like wood,
but it saws like iron.
(Hoss chuckles)
(Will chuckles)
Well, how am I doing, Professor?
Well, I'll tell you,
Will, you get a...
you get an "A" for effort.
But I'm gonna have to
give you an "F" for results.
Let me show you something.
Here. Don't fight it so.
Don't use just your arms.
Get your whole body in it
and get you a nice rhythm.
Like that.
Well, I admit it's worked
so far, but I don't think
that two weeks is gonna
change Will all that much.
You said yourself that
he's packing his share
- of the load now, Pa.
- Well, sure.
That's because he
doesn't stop to quote poetry
every time a leaf
falls off a tree.
Yeah, I don't know if
that's altogether good either.
Well, I'll tell Charlie
we'll pick the rest of
this stuff up next week.
Yeah, all right.
Are you Mr. Ben Cartwright?
Yes, ma'am.
Can I help you?
I am Mrs. William Evans.
Yes, Mrs. Evans.
I've been making inquiries,
and I have reason to
believe that my husband
is one of your employees.
Evans? William Evans.
Well, ma'am, we have a...
we have a-a William Smith
and, uh, we have
a-a Bill Perkins.
Pa, that's Will Smith
that she's talking about.
Ma'am, I'm-I'm Hoss Cartwright,
and Will is out on
the Ponderosa, yes.
Will Smith is really
William Warlock Evans, Pa.
The poet?
I-I thought he
was... Dead. He is.
In more ways than
you can imagine.
You tell... Will that
the game's over.
I found him.
I'm at the hotel. You
can bring him there.
Well, ma'am, uh... we
can take you to him.
I've come this
far, Mr. Cartwright.
Now he has to come to me.
What are you doing back so soon?
You didn't expect me to
finish in two hours, I hope.
That ain't why I'm here, Will.
You know, I used to always sneer
at writers who wrote about
the joy of work and nature.
Well, after today, I don't
think I'll sneer anymore.
(chuckles)
I'll throw rocks.
Will, what I... what I
came to tell you was...
your wife's in town.
She wants to talk to you.
Did you send for her?
Certainly not.
Don't lie to me!
I ain't lying to you.
I ain't never lied
to you, have I?
I'm getting out of here.
I'm taking that horse.
Will. Will!
You run if you must,
but you ain't stealing
my horse, you hear?
Well, you ain't gonna stop me.
I trusted you
like I trusted her,
and you both betrayed me.
Well, I'm getting out of here!
(grunting)
Go ahead, kill me.
Will, I don't know what that
woman done to you, but...
WILL: Why don't you
kill me? I'm begging you.
You're a man. A man don't beg.
You're right.
They don't surrender either.
ANNOUNCER: We'll return
to tonight's story of Bonanza
in a moment.
ANNOUNCER: And now the
exciting conclusion of tonight's story.
I'm surprised he
took your horse.
That's a... new
low even for Will.
I don't rightly know
what got into him, ma'am.
He simply reverted to type.
He ran.
Well, the direction he headed,
up toward those mountains,
there's only one
town up there...
A few Mexican families
and a little cantina...
We could be up there in no time.
Did you... tell Will
that I was here?
Yes'm, I did.
And you don't have
the heart to tell me
it was that bad, wasn't it?
Whatever he said was foul
and violent and then he left.
He ran.
(sighs)
Well, ma'am, it wasn't that-that
Will didn't want to face you...
It was... He can't face
himself, don't you see?
Well, I am tired of
chasing after Will.
I have followed
Will through more...
dirty little towns
than I can name.
And... (chuckles)
f-for so long that it's...
i-it's almost a habit.
Well... well, habits
can... can be broken.
Ma'am...
ma'am, I-I don't know what
went on between you and Will,
- but...
- No.
No, you do not.
That's why you're
willing to go after Will,
to try to help him again.
Well, I won't go after Will.
I-I can't do it anymore.
Oh!
Oh...
Oh... Oh...
(sighs)
Will... gave it to me on...
our fifth wedding anniversary.
"A golden brooch" to
match the golden light
in your eyes," he said.
So... you see, Hoss...
things haven't
always been like this
with Will and me.
But... that time is... over,
and I'm going to
forget about Will.
And I advise you to do the same.
Ma'am, can you
do that that easy?
Easy?
I never said it was easy.
Um, I... I have a
lot of packing to do.
Would you... would
you excuse me, please?
Yes'm.
(guitar playing)
He plays like a fallen
angel, doesn't he, my friend?
They say Miguel was born
with a guitar in his hand.
Well... (chuckles)
Talent is a curse,
an albatross, slung
around the neck
like the last banner of defeat.
- (guitar music stops)
- Hmm.
It enhances the
thirst, my friend.
You don't know what
I'm talking about, do you?
- (guitar music resumes)
- No, señor.
My friend,
of all the creatures
in the world,
man is the unhappiest.
And yet you smile. (chuckles)
Why?
I enjoy being alive.
Let's drink to that.
Don't you think you've
had enough, señor?
There's never enough
until there's oblivion.
To life.
May it last forever.
Yes.
May it keep us all warm.
Salud, señor.
Would-would you mind if I...
lowered my head for a
moment, to rest my eyes?
I feel, suddenly,
quite ready to...
pull down the curtain.
- (guitar music stops)
- Señor! Señor!
Señor. Señor.
(knocking on door)
HOSS: Jesus, you in there?
Estamos cerrados.
We're all closed up.
Jesus, it's me, Hoss Cartwright.
Oh, señor, un minuto.
- Buenas noches, amigo.
- Buenas noches, Hoss.
Well, figures.
First saloon he came to.
Is he a friend of yours, señor?
Yeah, he's a friend.
He stole my horse.
There is a lot of
sadness in this man.
See how he sleeps like a baby.
You want to take him home?
No.
Might as well let him
sleep as long as he can.
You got a place to keep him?
Sí, the back room.
Good.
If he wakes up before I
get back, you keep him here
even if you have to hit
him with a club, you hear?
Don't worry, he won't wake up.
Miguel, ayúdame.
(knocking on door)
The bags are right over...
I hate to bother you
again, Mrs. Evans.
But you found Will.
Yes'm.
Did you tell him
that I was leaving?
Well, I couldn't.
You see, he was asleep.
He was drunk, wasn't he?
Yes'm.
Well, why did you come here?
Why couldn't you
let me go in peace?
Well, that's just it, ma'am.
I figured if I let you
leave now, that...
you'd never know
another minute's peace
the rest of your life,
because you still love him.
Can a woman love insults
and threats and tantrums?
No'm, I reckon not, but...
she can love the
good she finds in a man
and try to help him.
I have tried.
What else can I do?
Well... try once more.
Do you think
it's really worth...
another try?
Isn't it always?
(panting)
(garbled, enraged yelling)
(sobs)
We've come to help you, Will.
(chuckles) Aren't I lucky
to have such a
conscientious little mother?
Yep. I'd say you
were at that, Will.
Look at her...
standing there, the-the
symbol of martyrdom.
And she glories in it.
Don't you have anything to
say to me, my love and keeper?
(wry chuckle)
You see,
she's dumb literally
as well as figuratively.
Well, I'm gonna
say something, Will.
I'm getting pretty fed up with
you picking this woman apart
- when all she's trying to do is...
- Don't.
That's exactly what he wants,
someone to argue
with, someone to attack...
(angry groan)
Listen to the woman!
It's the truth, Will,
and you know it.
This is the way you keep
me from getting close to you,
with ridicule and insults,
just so I won't see
how frightened you are.
Frightened? Me?
(laughs)
Dear girl...
And that's a charitable
term if I ever heard one...
I am William Warlock Evans,
and I happen to
possess a writing talent
commonly acknowledged by all.
And there's not one thing
in this whole flaming world
that frightens me.
Except William Warlock Evans.
She's talking in riddles.
She's talking a
lot of sense, Will.
Oh... and that's your
considered opinion?
Yeah.
Yes, it is.
And I'll tell you something else
that's my considered opinion.
No question about it,
Will, you're a great writer,
but you're something else, too.
You're pathetic.
Why, you...!
I'm all burned-out.
Even a marionette
has more guts than I do.
Get him to the table.
Come on, Will.
Come on.
(grunts)
Sit down.
Lydia, what are you doing?
You can't fight it
any longer, Will.
Well, I can't fight it for you.
So we'll forget that
we're husband and wife
and we'll be married to this.
I can't pull you
out of the gutter,
so I'll just crawl
right in with you.
To William Warlock
Evans and his memory.
Lydia, no.
Don't do that.
You don't care what
happens to yourself,
what do you care
what happens to me?
For the rest of your life, Will,
I'm going to be right with you,
glass for glass
and bottle for bottle.
I'm going to be a mirror
that you can't escape...
A twisted, warped image...
What I've had to live
with all these years.
Why do I do this to you, Lydia?
What-what kind of a man am I?
(quiet gasps)
"For a man you can call a man
is a million years
in one shape."
Remember that, Will?
Did you ever finish it?
I can't finish it!
Don't you understand that?!
I burned out.
I'm a shell of an artist.
Why can't you see that?
Why can't you see it?
That flame you had inside you,
it's still there...
You still got it.
You're just too
close to it, that's all.
You really believe
that, don't you?
The whole world
believes it, Will.
That's what we're
trying to tell you.
Why?
Why do you bother with me
after what I've done to you?
Because I love you.
It's as simple as that.
Take my hand, Will.
Maybe it's worth a try...
another try, Lydia.
It always is.
(theme music playing)
ANNOUNCER: Dan
Blocker, for Chevy trucks.
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ANNOUNCER: This has
been a color production
of the NBC Television Network.
is brought to you in
living color on NBC.
(fanfare plays)
♪♪
He sat down to write a poem.
One about life and things.
On that would tell
and shriek and yell.
One that would soar and sing.
He would mention his mind and...
and the trees and the sea.
And his heart and
his girl and their love.
He defined what was
good, what was bad,
what was odd... and
add a coda... to God.
So... he thought and he pondered
upon all these
things till his being
rumbled with fear.
So he put down his
pen lit a cigarette...
(wry laugh)
then...
ended his poem right here.
(laughter)
Dad-burnit, Mr. Smith.
How do you keep all them poems
in your head straight like that?
I mean, you've been going
on like this for a couple hours.
Just a simple accident
of nature, Mr. Cartwright.
- Like warts.
- (chuckles)
Who, uh, who wrote this one?
An ancient Druid priest,
name of Collywobbles.
Who was foully slain
by a pack of rabid suffragettes.
For the inner man.
(Hoss chuckles)
'Neath the weeds
and the wild berries,
near the barren, praying trees,
past that gash of
a road by my home
- stood...
- (music machine begins playing)
(machine continues
playing lilting melody)
When did the deafness
first strike you, friend?
Look, mister,
I been putting up with your
stuff for near an hour now.
That's long enough, I'd say.
Then you don't plan to
cease playing that machine.
No, I don't.
Ah... well, in that case,
I shall strike you so hard
that you will have to remove
your boots to brush your teeth.
Here, have a drink.
(laughter)
Ah!
Come on, fellas! Come on,
leave him alone, leave him alone!
Leave him alone!
Get away from him!
(shouts)
(music machine stops playing)
(grunts)
(exhales)
To the victors!
(snoring)
Will!
(theme song playing)
♪♪
BEN: Hoss?
I thought I heard you come in.
What have you got in here?
- Here?
- Yeah.
Oh, I just got a little food
I'm taking out to the barn.
Has your horse developed
a fondness for peach pie?
(both laughing)
Oh, Pa, this ain't for my horse.
It's, uh... it's for a
feller I met in town. I...
You put him up in the barn?
Yeah, he was sort of
sick, see, Pa, and I...
Of course, we always put
sick people up in the barn.
Well, he ain't
exactly sick, you see.
He, uh... he had a
little too much to-to eat.
That's it. He overate.
- He... ate too much, yeah.
- Ah. Mmm.
And that's why you're
bringing him some more food.
I ain't doing too well, am I?
Not so far.
(sighs) Well, the truth
of the matter is, Pa,
he had a little
too much to drink.
Uh-huh.
No, the truth of the matter is
he had way too much to drink.
He's drunk.
Hoss... Hoss, you...
Why do you always have
to turn this place into a...
a home for grown-up foundlings?
Well, Pa, I couldn't
just leave him in town.
Of course you couldn't
leave him in town.
Any time some
fella runs into town
and gets himself roaring drunk,
it becomes your responsibility.
Right?
Well, it does if I
bought him some of it.
- Oh.
- Pa, it was perfectly innocent.
I-I just bought him a couple
of drinks while he was recitin'.
While he was recitin'?
Well, he...
he wasn't exactly
recitin'. He was...
he was telling me what
a good hand he was.
- That's what he was doing.
- Oh.
And I remember you telling
us that we needed a new hand.
Wait a minute.
You didn't hire him.
Well, Pa, he had... he
had awful good references.
Well, so far the only
references I've heard
is that he gets drunk.
Oh, Hoss. I... Honestly...
Well, I suppose it
wouldn't hurt to...
try him out, anyway.
Well, I'll, uh... I'll just take
this on out to the barn...
There's one good thing about
the whole situation though:
at least he's a ranch hand.
He's not one of
those other strays
that you're always
bringing home.
(sighs) Yeah.
Oh... (chuckles)
Why, Little Red Riding Hood,
how kind of you not to
forget your old granny.
(chuckles)
There's some good
chicken in here for you.
You didn't bring a bottle?
Look, Mr. Smith, we
got to sober you up.
Why?
Because you got a
job here, that's why.
I have a what?!
Well, you-you're broke,
you ain't got no money,
so you must need a job.
(chuckles)
I don't know how to
do anything on a ranch!
You'll learn.
Why are you so interested in me?
Well, I sort of...
backed myself into
a corner, I reckon.
I'm sort of committed to you.
What will I have to do?
Well, the first thing you
got to do is sober up.
Now, go on, try
some of the chicken.
It's good.
Come on.
Don't you have
anything to drink?
Yep. Here you go.
Assassin!
(laughs)
♪♪
(snoring)
Pull down that shade!
(scoffs)
(gunshots)
(grunts)
(sighs)
Don't you know you
could kill a man like that?
Well, there's one thing for dang
sure, work ain't gonna kill you.
I, uh...
Oh, what happened was I-I
had to move into the shade
because... I felt a
sunstroke coming on.
Yeah, I imagine that
100-proof sunstroke
must be pretty rough stuff.
Now, look, we're not paying
you to sleep, you know.
HOSS: Joe, you heard him.
Said he felt a
sunstroke coming on.
What, you're gonna believe that?
Well, I don't see any
reason why not to.
Brother, remind
me to talk to you
about the Easter Bunny sometime.
(scoffs quietly)
Uh, your faith in human
nature is refreshing.
Your, uh, brother
seemed to think I was lying.
Come on, Will.
Let's face it. Let's be honest.
You got a hangover that's
longer than a 20-foot log
on a ten-foot buckboard.
Well, if you think
that, why did you...
HOSS: Well, I'll tell
you, my friend, I...
I just got a feeling that
somewhere, mixed in
with all that booze and
baloney, there's a man.
You're taking a lot
for granted, aren't you?
Maybe I am.
Last night, in the Silver
Dollar Saloon, you were a man.
Oh, you were all
liquored up, all right, but...
you knew what them
words was about.
You knew what
they meant and why.
So I figure, somewhere
in that frame,
there's enough of a man
that it's worth the trouble.
Tell you what I'm
gonna do, Will...
I'm gonna set
down right over there
and I'm gonna watch you
chop that stump down to size,
if it takes all
day and all night.
Get to choppin'.
Go on.
(grunts, hisses)
Well, how'd you like
your first day, Smith?
(sighs)
No one told me that the
tree stumps on the Ponderosa
were made out of stone.
(bell clanging outside)
Better get a move on,
Smith. That's supper.
Don't mention food to me.
I'll eat your share.
(door shuts)
♪♪
Put it back...
or I'll tear you limb from limb.
Be reasonable, Draves.
All I want is-is a little sip,
that's all, just to steady...
That's my bottle. You
took it from my saddlebag.
Please, Draves.
Hand it over, Smith!
(grunting)
(grunts, shouts)
Is this what you're looking for?
That's mine, Mr. Cartwright.
He took it from my saddlebag.
Is that true?
Well... Is it true?
Yes!
You be sure you're off
the Ponderosa by morning.
Hoss...
you don't know
how bad it can get.
Yeah.
I reckon I don't, Will, but...
I know how bad you
can get, now, don't I?
(theme music playing)
The affirmation... of man.
One rises from his chair
and confirms the
affirmations of...
(chuckles)
Well, if you would
stop and think about it,
you'd realize that there
has to be a certain trust
between human
beings... No more credit.
But... (chuckles) in
a healthy economy,
there has to be a
certain amount of...
give and take.
All right.
A poem then.
Now, that's another thing
you and me better get straight.
I heard enough of your
poems to last me forever.
But if you would
just allow me to...
Look, rum bum, get out.
I'm sick of you.
No ape is going to
dictate terms to me.
Eh, ugh!
I'll swindle you
- within an inch of your life!
- Get your hands off of me!
- The affirmation of man!
- Get him out of here!
- Get him out of here!
- Man's affirmation...
Get your hands off me!
You fool!
(panting)
(onlookers laughing)
I'm not a drunk!
(laughter continues)
I'm not a bum!
(laughter continues)
(laughter stops)
Never mind, Ed,
I'll take care of him.
You go ahead with your laughing.
Come on, Will.
Come on.
I'm not drunk, Hoss.
I'm just... dying.
Some people refuse
to accept the fact
that the human brain was never
meant to be pickled in alcohol.
Yeah.
He is gonna be all right
though, ain't he, Doc?
Hmm. Man's got the
constitution of a horse.
And if he keeps on drinking,
he'll have the
lifespan of one also.
Let's see.
Oh.
I'll need his name
for the prescription.
Uh, it's Will Smith, I think.
Not according to this.
William Warlock Evans?
Evans?
Here's a letter
addressed to him.
From San Francisco,
from a Mrs. Lydia Evans.
That got to be his wife?
That couldn't be the
one that's a poet, could it?
I don't know. I
never heard of him.
William Warlock Evans is one
of the most gifted young poets
this country's got.
Do you suppose
that's him in there?
You know, Doc, it just could be.
As a matter of
fact, I'll bet you it is.
Damnation!
Damnation! I've
slipped in a bog!
Hey, Will. Come on. Hey...
Lay down, buddy.
Relax, relax. Come on.
DOCTOR: Stop
thrashing about here.
- Just relax, Will.
- Stay down.
- Lie down and relax.
- Stay down and relax, buddy.
- Stay down.
- Come on. Come on.
Now... stay there.
Where do you think I
could go dressed like this?
You're feeling dizzy?
No, this is the
way I always talk.
(Will chuckles)
Well, I've got some sad
news for you, my friend.
You're gonna have
to stop drinking.
Oh, did it take you all eight
years of medical school
to figure that out?
Hoss, I'll leave
Mr. Evans' prescription
- down with Matt Draber.
- Right, Doc.
- You can pick it up there.
- Yes, sir.
(Will groans)
You know... I always felt...
there was a certain resemblance
between doctors and bartenders.
They both strive to remove pain.
Then they restore
the agony with a bill.
(chuckling)
Now, if they were
going to be fair about it...
What did he call me?
He called you Mr. Evans.
Mr. Evans.
What are you going to do?
(sighs)
I don't know.
I can tell you what
I'd like to do. I'd...
like to take you back to the
Ponderosa and dry you out.
Why?
(chuckles) I don't know.
(sighs) Maybe
I'm a sucker, but...
I got a notion that a
man like you's worth it.
And as soon as we got
you on your feet again,
we can get ahold of your
wife and get her out here.
No!
What do you think
I'm running from?!
Look, I'd-I'd rather burn
in hell through all eternity
than...
than to spend one
second with that woman.
Well, that's...
that's sort of up to you, Will.
Your father wouldn't
take me back, anyway.
I'm a convicted thief,
drawn and quartered.
Yeah, but...
once he finds out who you are...
No one is to know who I am.
I mean that.
I've carried the burden of being
William Warlock Evans too long.
Now...
you still think you can
get me that job back?
I don't know.
But... we can try.
Well, so far, you haven't
given me one valid reason.
Pa, I-I just think he
needs help, that's all.
Oh, he needs help, all right.
I think we're all in
agreement with that.
Hoss, I-I don't
want to appear hard.
Oh, Pa, I know your point.
But, dad-burnit, I got one, too.
It ain't as easy to
explain as yours, but...
Pa, if you had seen
him out there today
when I picked him up, you'd
know what I was talking about.
You want to hire him?
All right, you hire
him, you pay him,
you be responsible for him.
Yes, sir.
He's out there in the bunkhouse.
I think I'll go tell
him right now.
That boy's just too
easygoing for his own good.
I agree with you, Pa.
You're absolutely right.
Got that silly notion
about trying to help people.
I just don't know
where he gets it from.
Your food's getting cold.
(chuckles)
(grunts, sighs)
It looks like wood,
it feels like wood,
but it saws like iron.
(Hoss chuckles)
(Will chuckles)
Well, how am I doing, Professor?
Well, I'll tell you,
Will, you get a...
you get an "A" for effort.
But I'm gonna have to
give you an "F" for results.
Let me show you something.
Here. Don't fight it so.
Don't use just your arms.
Get your whole body in it
and get you a nice rhythm.
Like that.
Well, I admit it's worked
so far, but I don't think
that two weeks is gonna
change Will all that much.
You said yourself that
he's packing his share
- of the load now, Pa.
- Well, sure.
That's because he
doesn't stop to quote poetry
every time a leaf
falls off a tree.
Yeah, I don't know if
that's altogether good either.
Well, I'll tell Charlie
we'll pick the rest of
this stuff up next week.
Yeah, all right.
Are you Mr. Ben Cartwright?
Yes, ma'am.
Can I help you?
I am Mrs. William Evans.
Yes, Mrs. Evans.
I've been making inquiries,
and I have reason to
believe that my husband
is one of your employees.
Evans? William Evans.
Well, ma'am, we have a...
we have a-a William Smith
and, uh, we have
a-a Bill Perkins.
Pa, that's Will Smith
that she's talking about.
Ma'am, I'm-I'm Hoss Cartwright,
and Will is out on
the Ponderosa, yes.
Will Smith is really
William Warlock Evans, Pa.
The poet?
I-I thought he
was... Dead. He is.
In more ways than
you can imagine.
You tell... Will that
the game's over.
I found him.
I'm at the hotel. You
can bring him there.
Well, ma'am, uh... we
can take you to him.
I've come this
far, Mr. Cartwright.
Now he has to come to me.
What are you doing back so soon?
You didn't expect me to
finish in two hours, I hope.
That ain't why I'm here, Will.
You know, I used to always sneer
at writers who wrote about
the joy of work and nature.
Well, after today, I don't
think I'll sneer anymore.
(chuckles)
I'll throw rocks.
Will, what I... what I
came to tell you was...
your wife's in town.
She wants to talk to you.
Did you send for her?
Certainly not.
Don't lie to me!
I ain't lying to you.
I ain't never lied
to you, have I?
I'm getting out of here.
I'm taking that horse.
Will. Will!
You run if you must,
but you ain't stealing
my horse, you hear?
Well, you ain't gonna stop me.
I trusted you
like I trusted her,
and you both betrayed me.
Well, I'm getting out of here!
(grunting)
Go ahead, kill me.
Will, I don't know what that
woman done to you, but...
WILL: Why don't you
kill me? I'm begging you.
You're a man. A man don't beg.
You're right.
They don't surrender either.
ANNOUNCER: We'll return
to tonight's story of Bonanza
in a moment.
ANNOUNCER: And now the
exciting conclusion of tonight's story.
I'm surprised he
took your horse.
That's a... new
low even for Will.
I don't rightly know
what got into him, ma'am.
He simply reverted to type.
He ran.
Well, the direction he headed,
up toward those mountains,
there's only one
town up there...
A few Mexican families
and a little cantina...
We could be up there in no time.
Did you... tell Will
that I was here?
Yes'm, I did.
And you don't have
the heart to tell me
it was that bad, wasn't it?
Whatever he said was foul
and violent and then he left.
He ran.
(sighs)
Well, ma'am, it wasn't that-that
Will didn't want to face you...
It was... He can't face
himself, don't you see?
Well, I am tired of
chasing after Will.
I have followed
Will through more...
dirty little towns
than I can name.
And... (chuckles)
f-for so long that it's...
i-it's almost a habit.
Well... well, habits
can... can be broken.
Ma'am...
ma'am, I-I don't know what
went on between you and Will,
- but...
- No.
No, you do not.
That's why you're
willing to go after Will,
to try to help him again.
Well, I won't go after Will.
I-I can't do it anymore.
Oh!
Oh...
Oh... Oh...
(sighs)
Will... gave it to me on...
our fifth wedding anniversary.
"A golden brooch" to
match the golden light
in your eyes," he said.
So... you see, Hoss...
things haven't
always been like this
with Will and me.
But... that time is... over,
and I'm going to
forget about Will.
And I advise you to do the same.
Ma'am, can you
do that that easy?
Easy?
I never said it was easy.
Um, I... I have a
lot of packing to do.
Would you... would
you excuse me, please?
Yes'm.
(guitar playing)
He plays like a fallen
angel, doesn't he, my friend?
They say Miguel was born
with a guitar in his hand.
Well... (chuckles)
Talent is a curse,
an albatross, slung
around the neck
like the last banner of defeat.
- (guitar music stops)
- Hmm.
It enhances the
thirst, my friend.
You don't know what
I'm talking about, do you?
- (guitar music resumes)
- No, señor.
My friend,
of all the creatures
in the world,
man is the unhappiest.
And yet you smile. (chuckles)
Why?
I enjoy being alive.
Let's drink to that.
Don't you think you've
had enough, señor?
There's never enough
until there's oblivion.
To life.
May it last forever.
Yes.
May it keep us all warm.
Salud, señor.
Would-would you mind if I...
lowered my head for a
moment, to rest my eyes?
I feel, suddenly,
quite ready to...
pull down the curtain.
- (guitar music stops)
- Señor! Señor!
Señor. Señor.
(knocking on door)
HOSS: Jesus, you in there?
Estamos cerrados.
We're all closed up.
Jesus, it's me, Hoss Cartwright.
Oh, señor, un minuto.
- Buenas noches, amigo.
- Buenas noches, Hoss.
Well, figures.
First saloon he came to.
Is he a friend of yours, señor?
Yeah, he's a friend.
He stole my horse.
There is a lot of
sadness in this man.
See how he sleeps like a baby.
You want to take him home?
No.
Might as well let him
sleep as long as he can.
You got a place to keep him?
Sí, the back room.
Good.
If he wakes up before I
get back, you keep him here
even if you have to hit
him with a club, you hear?
Don't worry, he won't wake up.
Miguel, ayúdame.
(knocking on door)
The bags are right over...
I hate to bother you
again, Mrs. Evans.
But you found Will.
Yes'm.
Did you tell him
that I was leaving?
Well, I couldn't.
You see, he was asleep.
He was drunk, wasn't he?
Yes'm.
Well, why did you come here?
Why couldn't you
let me go in peace?
Well, that's just it, ma'am.
I figured if I let you
leave now, that...
you'd never know
another minute's peace
the rest of your life,
because you still love him.
Can a woman love insults
and threats and tantrums?
No'm, I reckon not, but...
she can love the
good she finds in a man
and try to help him.
I have tried.
What else can I do?
Well... try once more.
Do you think
it's really worth...
another try?
Isn't it always?
(panting)
(garbled, enraged yelling)
(sobs)
We've come to help you, Will.
(chuckles) Aren't I lucky
to have such a
conscientious little mother?
Yep. I'd say you
were at that, Will.
Look at her...
standing there, the-the
symbol of martyrdom.
And she glories in it.
Don't you have anything to
say to me, my love and keeper?
(wry chuckle)
You see,
she's dumb literally
as well as figuratively.
Well, I'm gonna
say something, Will.
I'm getting pretty fed up with
you picking this woman apart
- when all she's trying to do is...
- Don't.
That's exactly what he wants,
someone to argue
with, someone to attack...
(angry groan)
Listen to the woman!
It's the truth, Will,
and you know it.
This is the way you keep
me from getting close to you,
with ridicule and insults,
just so I won't see
how frightened you are.
Frightened? Me?
(laughs)
Dear girl...
And that's a charitable
term if I ever heard one...
I am William Warlock Evans,
and I happen to
possess a writing talent
commonly acknowledged by all.
And there's not one thing
in this whole flaming world
that frightens me.
Except William Warlock Evans.
She's talking in riddles.
She's talking a
lot of sense, Will.
Oh... and that's your
considered opinion?
Yeah.
Yes, it is.
And I'll tell you something else
that's my considered opinion.
No question about it,
Will, you're a great writer,
but you're something else, too.
You're pathetic.
Why, you...!
I'm all burned-out.
Even a marionette
has more guts than I do.
Get him to the table.
Come on, Will.
Come on.
(grunts)
Sit down.
Lydia, what are you doing?
You can't fight it
any longer, Will.
Well, I can't fight it for you.
So we'll forget that
we're husband and wife
and we'll be married to this.
I can't pull you
out of the gutter,
so I'll just crawl
right in with you.
To William Warlock
Evans and his memory.
Lydia, no.
Don't do that.
You don't care what
happens to yourself,
what do you care
what happens to me?
For the rest of your life, Will,
I'm going to be right with you,
glass for glass
and bottle for bottle.
I'm going to be a mirror
that you can't escape...
A twisted, warped image...
What I've had to live
with all these years.
Why do I do this to you, Lydia?
What-what kind of a man am I?
(quiet gasps)
"For a man you can call a man
is a million years
in one shape."
Remember that, Will?
Did you ever finish it?
I can't finish it!
Don't you understand that?!
I burned out.
I'm a shell of an artist.
Why can't you see that?
Why can't you see it?
That flame you had inside you,
it's still there...
You still got it.
You're just too
close to it, that's all.
You really believe
that, don't you?
The whole world
believes it, Will.
That's what we're
trying to tell you.
Why?
Why do you bother with me
after what I've done to you?
Because I love you.
It's as simple as that.
Take my hand, Will.
Maybe it's worth a try...
another try, Lydia.
It always is.
(theme music playing)
ANNOUNCER: Dan
Blocker, for Chevy trucks.
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I reckon all of
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And this year, it's
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Course, all new '66 Chevy trucks
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This year, Chevy's
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See or phone
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ANNOUNCER: This has
been a color production
of the NBC Television Network.