Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 6, Episode 28 - A Good Night's Rest - full transcript

ANNOUNCER: The following
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in living color on NBC.

[PEGGY & JOE LAUGHING]

All the smoke in the
room, clear to see,

there's the dog lying
there, his hair's standing up,

and the guy says, "Don't
look at me, it's your dog."

[PEGGY LAUGHING]

- Hey, Pa. You're
home early. BEN: Hi.

- Hello, Peggy.
- Hello, Mr. Cartwright.

What, the meeting break out?

No, it's still going on, but
I got tired. I'm bone tired.



Do me a favor, will
you? Put up my horse.

Yeah, sure. Go on, have a rest.

Be back in a minute.
I got a great one.

Oh, Mr. Cartwright.

Is my father still
at the meeting?

Oh, yeah, yeah,
he's still there.

He'll be along after a
while. Don't worry now.

Oh, I'm not worried.

Little Joe and I are
having a wonderful time.

He tells the best
jokes I've ever heard.

I know. Good night, Peggy.

Good night, Mr. Cartwright.

[ADAM PLAYING GUITAR]

- Adam.
- Oh, hi, Pa.



How did the
cattlemen's meeting go?

All right, I
guess. I left early.

ADAM: Something wrong?

Hmm? No.

I'm just tired, I guess.

No wonder, the way you've
been driving yourself lately.

As soon as I get some
sleep, I should be all right.

As a matter of fact I think
I'll take the hay right now.

Good night.

[ADAM CONTINUES PLAYING GUITAR]

[SNORING]

[CONTINUES SNORING]

Come on, boy, on your side.

[GRUNTS]

[SNORING]

[ADAM PLAYING GUITAR]

[HOSS CONTINUES SNORING
AND ADAM PLAYING GUITAR]

[PEGGY LAUGHING]

PEGGY: Oh, Little Joe!

Now, cut it out, will you? Aah!

- Aah! Aah! JOE: Here,
look, look, it'll lick you!

PEGGY: Little Joe, no! Aah!

Oh, please, Little Joe!
Now, cut it out, will you? Aah!

JOE: Here, look,
look, it'll lick you!

PEGGY: Oh, please, Little Joe!

Now, cut it out, will you? Aah!

[HOSS CONTINUES SNORING
AND ADAM PLAYING GUITAR]

[HOSS SNORING AND
ADAM PLAYING GUITAR]

PEGGY: Oh, please, Little Joe!

Now, cut it out, will you? Aah!

JOE: Here, look, look, it'll lick
you! PEGGY: Oh, Little Joe!

Oh, please, Little Joe!
Now, cut it out, will you?

[SNORING]

PEGGY: Now, will you?

PEGGY: Oh, please, Little Joe!

Now, cut it out, will you? Aah!

JOE: Here, look,
look, it'll lick you!

[CONTINUES SNORING]

PEGGY: No, cut it out, will you?
- Hoss.

Hoss. Hoss.

Yeah. What's the
matter? What's the matter?

Could you manage to
sleep a little more quietly?

- What was I doing?
- You were snoring.

Oh, Pa, I don't snore.

Whatever it was you were
doing then, will you please stop it?

I'll try, Pa.

[PEGGY CONTINUES LAUGHING
AND ADAM PLAYING GUITAR]

PEGGY: No! Now, cut it out!

[ADAM CONTINUES PLAYING GUITAR]

Adam.

If you have to play that
thing, keep it down, please.

Oh, sorry, Pa.

JOE: Here, look,
look, it'll lick you!

PEGGY: Little Joe!

- Oh, Little Joe, cut it out,
will you? BEN: Joseph!

You call me, Pa?

If you have to tell stories at this
time of night, tell some quiet ones!

[FROG CROAKS]

Shh, shh.

Pa's trying to sleep.

We'll be quiet, Pa.

[FROG CROAKS]

Think we better play checkers.

[GROANS]

Hoss, I...

Oh, Hoss?

I'm awake, Pa. I'm awake.

Yeah.

Well, I'm sorry I
awakened you, son.

Huh?

You go back to sleep now.

Get right back in the
bed and go back to sleep.

All right, Pa.

Good night, son.

[SNORES]

I thought you'd
be asleep by now.

Adam, I'm sorry I asked
you to stop playing that guitar.

You go right ahead and play it.

That's all right. I'd
just as soon read.

No. You play the guitar
anytime you want to.

You're gonna make me mad.

Didn't I warn you about
double jumping me?

Where's the frog? Come
on, frog, let's get her!

Shh, shh, shh.

Did we disturb you again, Pa?

No, no, you kids just keep
right on enjoying yourselves.

JOE: Where you going?
- I'm going to town.

But I just put your horse up.

Well, I'll just have
to get him out again.

I've just got to get
a good night's rest.

- Oh, Pa...
- Joseph, someday you'll understand.

[PIANO PLAYING]

[WOMAN SCREAMS]

BEN: What are you trying to do?

Hey, cut it out! Trying to hurt
some innocent bystander here?

What's it to you? Why don't
you mind your own business?

Wait a minute.
What's going on here?

I don't know what
beef this fellow has

with the young fellow he
was chasing, shooting at there,

but a public street
is no place to settle it.

I agree with you, Ben.

What's your problem, mister?

That young squirt won all
my money in a poker game,

wouldn't give me a
chance to get it back.

What's your name, mister?

Frank Shirmer.

Well, Mr. Shirmer, I got
a piece of news for you.

In this town, any man can quit any
game just anytime he's got a mind to.

So either you get back in
there and calm yourself down

and play according to our rules, or
you get out of this town altogether.

Sure do thank you for
stopping that shooting, Ben.

Say, what you doing in
town this time of night?

Well, you know, Roy,

I just couldn't get to
sleep at the house,

so I came into town to get a

room at the hotel and
get a good night's rest,

and that's just what
I'm gonna do right now.

- I'll see you in the morning, Roy.
- Good night, Ben.

Good night.

POTTS: Good evening, sir.

Evening.

I'd like a room for
the night, please.

Excellent. A comfy
spot for a weary traveler.

Isiah Potts at your
service, sir. Just sign here.

Good evening, Mr. Potts.

Mrs. Jenkins.

- I'll get your luggage.
BEN: I haven't any.

No luggage?

No, I'll be leaving first
thing in the morning.

With no luggage, I'm afraid I
must ask for payment in advance.

Hotel rules, you know.

Oh, Mr. Potts, don't
be so foolish, my boy.

This is Mr. Ben Cartwright
of the Ponderosa.

- So?
- Well, so it is not at all necessary

to ask for money in advance.

I'm afraid I can't be expected
to know everyone in the territory.

After all, I've only worked
here a few days, you know.

Well, that's all right, as I say, I'll
be leaving first thing in the morning.

How much is it?

One dollar a night, but
perhaps it won't be necessary.

That's all right.

Now, what's the room number?
May I have the key, please?

Room number 4,
but there is no key.

People kept
walking off with them,

and the management
removed the locks.

Just walk right in.

Number 4.

Oh, Mr. Cartwright, I'm the
widow Jenkins, Jenny Jenkins.

And since the death
of my dear husband,

- I live here at the hotel.
- Right.

If there's anything at all I
can do to help you, I'd be...

Well, thank you very
much. You're very kind.

- Good night.
- Good night.

He's rich, this Cartwright?

Oh, the richest, Mr. Potts,
in the whole territory

and without a helpmate, like me.

- Mr. Potts? POTTS:
Yes, Mr. Cartwright?

Something wrong?

Yeah, one thing.

There's a fellow sound
asleep up in number 4.

Is it a dirty man in
a filthy undershirt?

Yeah, that would be about
the description, I guess.

Hamish Loy. Apparently,
he's rented the room before.

Now whenever he gets drunk,
he thinks he's rented it for life.

Just throw him out.

Throw him out?

Yes, just wake him up
and tell him to get out.

It's your room, you paid for
it. There's no question about it.

He has got to go.

[SNORING]

All right, Mr. Loy, up you get.

Up and out. Come on,
now, this ain't your bed.

- Where are my boots?
- Huh?

Where are my boots?

Always take your boots
off before you go to bed.

- That's manners.
- Yeah.

Remember that, my boy.

I wouldn't think of going
to bed with my boots on.

- No, of course, you wouldn't.
- That ain't the cultured thing to do.

All right, now, let's
get these boots on.

Here we are.

There, now, you think
you can manage that one?

Oh, Mr. Cartwright, is there
anything I can do to help you?

Uh, oh, uh...

No, Mrs. Jenkins. I think
everything is under control.

Oh, for heaven's sakes!

Well, if I can help in any
way, I'd be very happy to.

I'm sure you would, and
I appreciate your offer.

You know, I'm just up
the hall in number 7.

And if I can do anything at all,

- I'd be very grateful to help you.
- Thank you. Thank you very much.

- Very kind. Good night.
- Good night.

Good night.

All right, old man...

Up we get, now. Come on.

Who are you?

- Oh, come on, please.
- Oh, you're a good man.

Yeah, look, maybe Mr. Potts
will be able to find a room for you.

That prissy Potts?

I wouldn't ask him for
the right time of day.

Yeah, well, fine.

Oh, by the way, what time is it?

Bedtime. Bedtime.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

- Good night.
- Good night.

[SIGHS]

[WOMAN CRYING]

[WOMAN CONTINUES CRYING]

Oh.

Ma'am, is there anything wrong?

Ma'am?

[WOMAN WAILING]

[WOMAN CONTINUES CRYING]

- Ma'am? WOMAN: Go away.

Good evening, Ben.

Oh, hi, doc.

Are you having a little
trouble with a lady friend?

I got my room right here,
next door, number 4 there,

and I'm trying to
get some sleep,

and she's crying
in here next door,

- and I haven't been able to fall sleep.
- Oh, you bachelors, you... You...

What are you men
doing at my door?

Oh, excuse me, ma'am.

Well...

Doc?

Ma'am, I've got the
room next door here,

and I've been trying to fall asleep,
but I've been hearing you crying...

I've got a perfect right
to cry if I want, haven't I?

Yes, of course, you have. I've
just been trying to get some sleep.

Isn't that just like a man?

You hear a woman cry,
but are you concerned? No.

Do you offer help? No.

All you can think about
is your precious sleep.

I'm sorry, I...

Is there something I can do?

No. I'm sorry I kept you awake.

I'll try to see that my
heart breaks quietly,

so you can sleep!

Oh, ma'am, that is the...

Ben? Ben, come here.

BEN: What?

There's a cowboy in
there with a bullet in his leg.

Now, I need a man to hold
him down while I take it out.

Well, go downstairs and get
Mr. Potts to hold him down.

Oh, Ben. Potts, he'd faint
at the sight of the blood.

Now, come on.

- Oh, all right.
- Oh, um...

What was the little
lady crying about?

Her heart was breaking.

Oh, well, Ben, now
don't you worry.

If she was talking about
it, you just bruised it a little.

Oh, doc.

Ben, this is Larry Newell.

Larry, this is Ben Cartwright.

You're that fellow who was dodging
bullets down the street a while back.

- I thought that Shirmer missed you.
- No, but he didn't hit me bad enough

to keep me from
getting out of there.

Now, look. Mr. Cartwright's gonna
hold you down while I get this bullet out.

I don't need anybody
to hold me down.

Hold him down, Ben.

- This won't be bad. It isn't deep.
- You just hang on tight now.

[DOC GRUNTS]

Ha!

DOC: It's all right, I got it.

I got it. Here we are.

Ha, ha. That wasn't bad.

That Shirmer's a
pretty bad character.

You're lucky he
only hit you in the leg.

He's a bad poker loser, that's for
sure. I don't win very often myself.

When I'm smart enough to win,
I'm smart enough to get out with it.

I need that money,

my ma's got a note
coming due at home.

Oh, where's home?

Texas. Bowie County.

As soon as doc gets through here,
I'm getting me a horse heading for there.

There. Now, that
will hold it. Oh.

Tomorrow, you try to get
somebody to change that for you,

you understand?

All right.

Thanks, doc. How
much do I owe you?

DOC: Oh, 5 bucks.

That's for taking out the
bullet and forgetting that I did.

Well, that's more than fair.

Well, thank you.

Oh, and, Ben?

As for you,

I think you could do with a little
more rest than you've been getting.

Oh, doc, I'm going to
get some rest right now.

Good. Well, good
night, good night.

You get some rest
too, young fellow.

Oh, Mr. Cartwright, would
you do me just one more favor?

Well, not if it's gonna cost
me any more sleep, I won't.

Well, I just want you to hold my
wallet for me while I get that horse.

Then if Shirmer comes after
me, you could send it to my ma.

Address is right
here in the wallet.

Well, I...

I'll just take out enough
money for the horse. Okay?

Yeah, all right.

I'd better get going
and get that horse.

Oh, here, I'll help you.

Sure do appreciate all you're
doing for me, Mr. Cartwright.

You get yourself
a good horse now.

Bye.

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

What? What are
you doing in here?

Wilfred!

What's going on in here? What's
this joker doing in the room?

- Well, he's a perfect
stranger. WILFRED: Stranger?

In your room in the
middle of the night?

- I just got in the wrong room.
- How dare you insinuate...?

[GASPS]

Oh, Wilfred Simms, now look
what you've gone and done.

- Oh, Mr. Cartwright.
- What I've done?

Wait till that varmint
opens his eyes.

Then I'll show you
what I'm going to do.

- That wife-stealer.
- Stop bickering! Stop it!

Help me. Oh,
it's Mr. Cartwright.

- These are for you.
- Aah!

Oh, stop it!

JENKINS: Here.
Oh, Mr. Cartwright.

(theme music playing)

How could you do this
to Mr. Ben Cartwright?

Well, ma'am, I don't
give a shucks who he is.

He can't go wandering
around my wife's room.

I am not your wife.

- Oh, now, Lucy, be reasonable.
- Oh, you poor man.

- Ben, are you feeling better?
- What happened?

Well, these barbarians
here attacked you.

- Who are you calling barbarians?
- Yeah, what do you mean by that?

Obviously, these
two are in collusion.

- We are?
- And I assume

that the actual barbaric attack
was performed by that one.

Don't call my husband names.

- Lucy, you called me your husband.
- Here, have some water.

- I did not.
- You did too, didn't she?

You called me your husband.

Oh, please, everybody, I...

The whole thing was a mistake
caused by my excessive drowsiness.

I apologize to the young
couple. I think I'll go back to sleep.

Oh, if you want to file
charges in the morning,

I'll be very happy to testify.

Very kind.

Oh, and by the way, the
relationship here bears investigation.

- Get out.
- Well.

LUCY: I've had enough
of your insults, now get out!

JENKINS: How dare
you talk to me that way?

Ladies, I want to thank you very much
for everything that you've done for me.

Now, Mr. Cartwright, now, if you
should have any more trouble...

- I'll call you. Thank you very much.
- You be sure you do that.

- Good night.
- Oh, Mr. Cartwright.

Sorry, Mrs. Jenkins.

I want to apologize again.

I think I'll be able to find
the right room this time.

LUCY: Just a minute.

- You too, Wilfred, out.
- Oh, now, Lucy.

Go, or I will call upon this
gentleman to protect me.

- But you're my wife.
- I am not your wife.

He lured me into
a false marriage.

I did not. I didn't know
the preacher was a fake.

Then you should have found out.

- You're still my wife.
- Protect me from this man.

Look, I just don't understand what
either one of you is talking about.

It's very simple.

Back in Kansas, he persuaded
me to run away with him

and get married and
come to California.

But on the way out, I found out

that the preacher who married
us wasn't a preacher at all.

Because you was flirting with
that fancy dude on the stage

and he told you so.

He was not a fancy
dude, and I was not flirting,

and he knew the truth,
knew the preacher's name.

Said he called himself
anything, preacher, judge, doctor,

anything just to make
a dishonest dollar.

Wait a minute.

We got a preacher here, he's
an honest-to-goodness minister.

Why don't we all get
some sleep tonight,

and then tomorrow you
can go to the minister

and get yourself
married all over again?

Never.

If I marry again, it won't be to someone
so dumb he picks a fake preacher,

but to someone with
brains in his head

and romance in his soul.

- What, like that fancy dude?
- Maybe.

But tomorrow, I'm taking
the first stage back to Kansas.

Now get out!

Women.

How we ever gonna figure them?

Well, we never do completely.

Hey, why don't you try some
of that romance she mentioned?

- Romance?
- Yeah.

It worked before, didn't it?

Might work again.

Yeah, sure, sure.

[SNORING]

[LOY GASPS]

[GRUNTS]

[GASPS]

You've changed.

You ain't as nice as you was.

- Wake up.
- Yes, sir. What can I do for you, sir?

Isiah Potts at your service.

All right, just answer
some questions.

I'm looking for a punk kid
from Texas. Is he staying here?

The name, please?

I don't know his name.

But he's blond and skinny and
was wearing a checked shirt.

Oh, I'm not sure that that
description fits any of our guests.

What was it you
wanted of him, sir?

I want to invite him
to a poker game.

Oh, that sounds like
a pleasant diversion,

but at this late hour, all
of our guests are asleep.

Why don't you try the saloon?

Room 6. Larry Newell from Texas.

Well, why didn't you
say so in the first place?

Oh, Mr. Newell.

Yes, Mr. Potts.

There's a man looking for you
to invite you to a poker game.

Is he a mean-looking
man with a gray hat?

He went up to your
room to look for you.

[DOOR CLOSING]

That must be him
coming back now.

Don't tell him you saw me,
and I'll make it worth your while.

- You will?
- Real worth your while.

Thank you, sir.

He ain't there.

Oh. Well, perhaps he
went out while I was dozing.

This night work is
very tiring, you know?

Any idea where he might be?

I'm a hotel clerk, not the
social editor of the paper.

Any more smart words out of you,

and I'm gonna shove
them right down your throat.

Now answer the question.

I don't know. Honest.

Anybody else been
looking for him?

The doctor. He sent for
the doctor to tend a wound.

So I plugged him, huh? Oh,
that's good. Anybody else?

Mr. Cartwright, a guest.

I heard the doctor call
upon him for his assistance.

- Where is this Cartwright?
- Oh, you can't disturb him.

He's a very tired man,
Mr. Cartwright, and...

Room number 4.

Hey, Mr. Busybody.

Come on. Get up.
I wanna talk to you.

You wake up like
that all the time?

Now, what do you want?

SHIRMER: Where's that Newell kid?
- Who?

That kid I winged for
cheating me out of my money.

I don't know where he is,

and if I did know, I
wouldn't tell you anyway,

so why don't you just get out of here
and let me go back to sleep, will you?

I've got a feeling he'll be
back, and I'm waiting for him.

Not here you're not.

I paid for this room...

and I'm gonna catch some sleep.

Now, will you please get out.

Well...

Shut the door, will you?

[DOOR SLAMS]

Mr. Potts.

Well, did you see
Mr. Cartwright?

Yeah, I saw him.

I want to see Larry Newell.
Give me a room near his.

We are full up.

Well, in that case, I'll just
have to wait in his room.

Really?

This is most unorthodox.

And without permission, I
have no authority to allow anyone

to visit a guest's room.

When he comes back...

you won't tell him I'm
waiting, now, will you?

WILFRED [SINGING]:
Oh, believe me

If all them endearing
young charms

Which I gaze on so fondly today

Oh, 'twas to change
back tomorrow

Flee from harm

Back there I dream fading away

Thou wouldst still be adored

As this moment thou art

Let thy loveliness
fade as it will

Wilfred, I didn't mean tonight.

Each wish of my heart

Wilfred Simms, what
on earth are you up to?

Well, I'm just trying to
court you romantic-like.

That's what you
want, ain't it, Lucy?

Romantic? Caterwauling
around the hotel this time of night?

Why, you've gone and
wakened this nice man again.

Yes, you certainly have.

And a busy man like
Mr. Cartwright needs his rest.

Now, now, now, Mrs.
Jenkins, let me handle this.

- I'm only trying to help, Mr. Cartwright.
- I know you are.

And, Mrs. Jenkins, why
don't you go back to your room

JENKINS: Well, I...
- And get yourself a good night's rest.

I appreciate the interest
that you've been taking.

JENKINS: That's
perfectly all right.

Now, if I can be of
any help, you call me.

Thank you very
much. Of course I will.

I'm afraid that...

That Wilfred's romantic tactics

are a result of a talk
that we had, Mrs. Simms.

I am not Mrs. Simms.

- Well, I'm...
- Oh, call me Lucy.

I don't know whether
I'm miss or missus.

Well, Lucy, what
I'm trying to say is,

I'm trying to make the point, he's
trying to win back your affections

the way he won
them not too long ago.

Yeah, and that ain't easy
without repeating yourself.

Well, I don't consider
waking everybody up

with your yowling
any way to win a girl.

I think it's about time that you
two started listening to the facts

- instead of your emotions.
- What facts?

One of the facts is that this
young lady is going back to Kansas

on the stage tomorrow,
isn't that right?

Now, the trouble with you two is that
you've been suffering growing pains.

And you'd be suffering those
even if you were married.

And best way to get rid of
them is to talk about them.

Now, it still isn't
too late tonight.

The moon's still shining bright.
You can go outside and walk and talk.

And after you've
talked it all out,

then you can decide whether
you go to your separate ways,

or whether you go to see
a preacher in the morning.

How about it, Lucy?

Well, I guess a
walk can't hurt a girl.

I'll get my coat.

Oh, I sure do thank
you, Mr. Cartwright.

Look, Wilfred, do me a favor.

Don't argue with her.

Save that little pleasure
for after you're married.

Potts.

Who's up in young
Newell's room, number 6?

I'm sure I don't know, sir.

Look, Potts, I'm tired, too
tired to play games. Who is it?

We didn't exchange amenities,

he just said he wished to
play poker with Mr. Newell.

Shirmer.

Is that his name? He could
take some lessons in manners.

Listen, I want you
to get Sheriff Coffee.

What?

Go get Sheriff Coffee. Tell him
I want to see him in my room.

- I can't leave here with the safe open...
- Lock the safe. Now get him.

And they told me to come West.

Mr. Potts, where's that Shirmer?

I've been waiting outside
and he ain't come out yet.

What about that
worthwhile talk of yours?

Well, I gotta get upstairs
first and get my wallet.

Now, how about Shirmer?

Yes, that's a
mean man, all right.

He sure is and he's
trigger-happy too.

He's the one who shot my leg.

He did?

He went out the back door,
that's why you didn't see him.

Well, that's good, and
thank you a lot, Mr. Potts.

Here, now get, get,
get going. Move.

[SHIRMER GRUNTS]

[JENKINS SCREAMS]

[THUDDING]

[SCREAMS]

ANNOUNCER: We'll return
to tonight's story of Bonanza

in a moment.

ANNOUNCER: And now the
exciting conclusion of tonight's story.

POTTS: Murder.

Murder in the
Golden Globe Hotel.

Oh, sheriff, the management
will have my scalp for this.

They'll blackball me
all over the country.

I hope you realize
exactly what this is doing...

Potts, will you please shut
up and pull yourself together?

- Now, did you get the doctor?
- Of course.

He'll be here as soon
as he gets dressed.

I told him we'd be needing
him in his capacity of coroner.

Coroner.

I wish you'd stick to your
knitting. That man ain't dead yet.

Leastways he was still breathing
when Ben and I carried him upstairs.

POTTS: No, no, no,
he's a goner for sure.

Cartwright there
did him in good.

Oh, stop, will you?

Are you accusing Ben
Cartwright here of killing Shirmer?

Well, they were the only
two fighting, weren't they?

Ben.

- Ben.
- Hmm?

ROY: Did you hear?
- Hmm?

Potts here is accusing you
of sticking a knife in Shirmer.

Oh.

What? That's ridiculous. I
didn't stick a knife in anybody.

- Who did that?
- Shut up, will you?

Now, I'll do the
investigating around here.

Ben, tell me exactly
what happened, if you will.

I had this wallet with...

That the young Texan
had me keep it for him

because he was afraid that Shirmer
was going to get the money back

that he won from
Shirmer in the poker game.

And I knew that Shirmer was
waiting for the young fellow from Texas.

- Good evening, Roy.
- Doc.

And again to you, Ben.

What are you doing up?

You won't get proper rest
like that. Now go to bed.

Well, where's the body?
Potts here tells me...

ROY: Potts here is gonna have
to learn to mind his own business.

Now, the man is upstairs, he's
alive, and has a knife stuck in his back.

- For heaven's sake...
ROY: And don't worry.

He's being watched over by a very
charming guest of the hotel here,

- Mrs. Jenkins.
- Oh, is that... Where is he?

In room number 6.

DOC: A nice woman like that.

ROY: Ben.

Ben. Come on, please?

- What?
- Now, let's get on with that story.

Hmm?

What happened, you
know, you were telling me.

Oh, yeah.

Well, the young fellow,
the Texas fellow, Larry,

he came running back
and to get his wallet,

and I gave him his wallet.

And, you know, Shirmer, he was
hiding out in the young fellow's room.

And he ran out of the room,
started shooting at the young fellow.

And I started wrestling with
Shirmer to stop him from shooting,

and suddenly, I was hanging
on, and suddenly, he went limp.

There was a knife in his back.

- That's right.
- Shut up!

- This Larry, what happened to him?
- Oh, yeah. Well, he...

He must have skedaddled.

Oh, well, then I better get
a deputy on him right now.

We're gonna need him.

He'll never find
that boy, you know.

With all that money,
he's long gone to Texas.

Probably.

That means that I'm the
only witness, Mr. Cartwright.

And if that man up there dies...

I think you're in
serious trouble.

Hmm?

What do you mean?

Oh, simply that as the only witness,
I could say anything that I want to.

That you stabbed
Shirmer with that knife,

or that the young Texan
threw the knife from down here.

Anything.

Yeah. Yeah.

Well, what you're
really trying to say to me,

and correct me if I'm wrong,

is that your memory
is regulated by money.

Oh, that's relative,
my dear sir, relative.

See, I'm a poor man,

and what's a lot of
money to me, a poor man,

is to you, a rich
man, a mere pittance.

- Mr. Potts, Mr. Potts.
- Yes?

Really, I've never been
so insulted in my life.

I offered to help that
doctor, and he pushed me,

literally pushed me out of the room.
And what are you two chatting about?

Well, we're chatting about a very
interesting subject here, Mrs. Jenkins.

- Blackmail.
- Oh?

Yes, blackmail.

Mr. Potts is trying to decide...

whether he'd make more money
out of me by being a witness for me

or against me, in
case Mr. Shirmer dies.

JENKINS: Oh.

Well, how dreadfully mercenary.

Yes.

Hey. Mrs. Jenkins,
you're a witness.

You saw the whole thing happen.

JENKINS: Well,
yes, I heard the shot,

and I came out of my room in time
to see that man fall down the stairs.

After the fact. After the fact.

Well, as a matter of fact, now
that I think about it more clearly,

I came out of my
room before the shot.

The sounds of scuffling
and all, you know?

Yeah.

You know, Mrs. Jenkins...

you're beginning to sound
a little bit like Mr. Potts.

Well...

I got my boys trailing that young Texan.
Mrs. Jenkins, how's the patient doing?

Well, I really wouldn't know. That
doctor ejected me from the room.

- We'll just have to wait for the doc.
- Sheriff.

Potts. One of these days...

I demand you arrest
that man for murder.

To have a murder, you
got to have a corpse.

BEN: Oh, how's
he making out, doc?

Well, he's still breathing,
so he's no corpse.

You made a good nurse.

Oh.

Doc, do you think he ought
to be left alone like that?

Oh, I cleaned the wound

and I gave him something to
ease the pain and make him sleep.

Whether that knife
caused internal bleeding,

I won't be able to tell for some time,
so I'll have to keep an eye on him.

But right now, I would love a
cup of coffee. How about it?

I am not the chef.

Oh, there's so many
things you're not.

Where is the coffee?

In the office.

I'll tell you one thing
I am, Mr. Cartwright,

that's a witness to
violence, potential murder.

Potts, be logical, will you?

Even if Ben Cartwright did do it,
it's obviously a case of self-defense.

So that's the way it's gonna be.

The power of the rich
against the word of the poor.

The influence of the mighty.

Roy, how are the beds in jail?

We haven't had no
complaints on them.

- I ain't gonna take that jasper's word...
- Yeah, Roy, Roy, Roy,

take me over to
the jail, will you?

- Well, you ain't confessing, are you?
- No, no.

The only thing I'm confessing to

is that I'm so dog-tired I'm
gonna fall asleep standing up.

- Now, will you take me to the jail?
- Let's go.

WILFRED: Oh, Mr. Cartwright!

Oh, boy, you were sure
right about that moon and all.

That's right. I have forgiven
Wilfred and consented to marry him.

First thing in the morning, I'm
gonna wrestle that preacher out of bed.

That's wonderful,
wonderful. Good night.

- Are you the sheriff?
- That's right, ma'am.

Well, then, you must also
be a justice of the peace.

That's the way it usually is.

Well, like most sheriffs, I am a
justice of the peace, that's right.

Wilfred, as justice of the
peace, he can marry us tonight.

What? What? I thought
you wanted a fancy wedding

with all them doodads and stuff.

We've had the doodads.

Now all we want is to get
married. Will you, sheriff?

It's the middle of the night,
everybody's tired and all.

But that's the
whole point, sheriff.

Otherwise, we got to wait all that
time until tomorrow and everything.

Well, if you put it that way.

JENKINS: Oh, a
wedding! How romantic!

Don't you think so,
dear Mr. Cartwright?

Yeah. Roy, let's go to the jail.

- Oh, Mr. Cartwright, you can't do
that. WILFRED: You'll be our best man.

He's just got to be here.
Why, he brought us together.

If it weren't for him, I might
have gone back to Kansas.

Please, sheriff.

Ben, it's up to you.

Please, Mr. Cartwright.

Well, I was in at
almost the end of it.

I guess I might as well
be in at the beginning of it.

Let's get lined
up right over here.

JENKINS: A wedding.
We must have some music.

All right, kids, if you...

Look, I'm just gonna say the words,
tomorrow morning, I'll sign the papers.

If it's all right, stand
over here, please.

LUCY: That'll be just fine.

Here's the ring, Mr. Cartwright.

ROY: Doc, if you just
stand right over here

and give the bride away.

Well, do I have to give her
away? She's cute enough to keep.

[LUCY & DOC CHUCKLE]

Oh, ahem.

You are not a
coffee maker either.

All right, do you...?
What's your names?

Oh, Simms. It sure is a
pleasure to meet you, sheriff.

I don't mean that. Now
get back over there.

Yes, sir.

No, your given names,
your first names.

Lucy and Wilfred.

- Wilfred, your hat.
- Oh.

Do you... Do you...

[JENKINS CONTINUES
PLAYING PIANO]

Will you cut that out?

Please, sheriff, it
is sort of romantic.

All right, then, go ahead
and play, but keep it down.

[JENKINS CONTINUES
PLAYING "BRIDAL CHORUS"]

Now...

- Do you, Lucy, take Wilbur...
- Wilfred.

Do you, Lucy, take Wilfred as
your lawfully wedded husband,

to have and to hold
in sickness and health,

to love, honor and obey so
long as you shall both live?

I do.

- Now, do you, William...
- Wilfred.

Do you, Wilfred, take Lucy here
as your lawfully wedded wife...?

Oh, I do.

Not now!

Do you, Wilfred, take Lucy
here as your lawfully wedded wife

to have and to hold,
in sickness and health,

to cherish and protect so
long as you both shall live?

- Now, Wilfred.
- What?

- "I do."
- Oh, I do.

Oh, I do!

All right, now's the time when the best
man is supposed to give you the ring.

DOC: Ben, the ring.

Ben?

Ben, I'm sorry.

- Ben, the ring.
- Hmm?

- They need the ring for the wedding.
- Oh.

Here, here, right here, here.

Okay.

Here you are, son.

- Oh, thank you, sir.
- Yeah.

For you, Lucy.

No, no, no. When he tells
you, you put it on her finger.

- Oh.
- Yeah. Hey, when do I give her away?

Now is as good a time as any.

Well, honey, ups-a-daisy.

By the powers vested in
me, I now pronounce you...

BILL: Come right in,
boy. Stand right there.

Sheriff, here's your man.

ROY: Yeah. Where
did you find him?

Just out of town, headed back.

Did he just say that you
were headed back this way?

NEWELL: Yeah, I got to thinking.

I shouldn't have thrown that
knife and just run like I did.

- You throwed that knife?
- Well, sure.

He was shooting at me,

and it's the only thing I
had to protect myself with.

Well, doc, how is he?

Oh, Shirmer's gonna live.
Don't you worry about that.

BEN: Shirmer's all right,
I don't know about me.

They were starting to accuse
me of throwing that knife.

Well, sheriff, that's foolish.

Mr. Potts here,
he saw me throw it.

NEWELL: Potts. BEN: Potts!

ROY: Potts.

Potts, there has got to be
more than a dozen things

in the books that I
can charge you with.

Now, here, Bill, take this weasel
over to the jail and lock him up.

All right, Roy. Come on, Potts.

POTTS: And they
told me to come West.

Son, I don't know
what to do with you.

He threw that knife in
self-defense. I can testify to that.

- Sure.
- All right, son, you can go.

- You mean I'm free?
- Yeah, and get that bandage changed.

- Yeah.
- Well, thank you, doc, Mr. Cartwright.

BEN: Away you go
now. ROY: Goodbye, son.

- Off you go. Be
careful now. DOC: Bye.

Roy, this time I'm getting
some sleep for sure.

Amen. This time you do it, or
you're gonna become a patient.

- I'll do it this time.
ROY: Good night, all.

Good night, good night.

LUCY: Sheriff, just a minute.

Are we married or not?

Ben, where did I
leave off, you know?

- Can you remember?
- Um...

You left off right
after I gave her away.

All right. By virtue of
the powers vested in me,

I now pronounce you
man and wife. Good night.

You can kiss the
bride now, William.

[WILFRED YELLS]

[LUCY YELLS THEN LAUGHS]

BEN: I didn't even
get to kiss the bride.

Oh, don't you just love
weddings, Mr. Cartwright?

- Good night, patient.
BEN: Good night.

Good night, Mrs. Jenkins.

[SNORING]

Move over.

Come on, move over.

[LUCY SCREAMING AND LAUGHING]

[SNORING]

(theme music playing)

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ANNOUNCER: This has
been a color presentation

of the NBC Television Network.