Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 6, Episode 16 - The Far, Far Better Thing - full transcript

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JOE: Good morning.

BEN: Good morning.

JOE: Hey, Tuck.
- Howdy, Little Joe, Mr. Cartwright.

BEN: Hello, Tuck. JOE:
What did you do to your leg?

Mm. Oh, I got a new
stallion out to my place.

Tried to bust him. He
blame near busted me.

Ha, ha. When are you gonna learn to
leave the bad ones to the good riders?

Heh. Well, his name fooled me:

Mamma's Boy.



[LAUGHS]

- Mamma's...
- Ain't that a name

for a horse that's half meanness
and another half even meaner?

When are you gonna come
out and have supper with us?

Thanks, but I got a lot of
things to do out at the ranch.

And, well, can't nothing
drag me away till they're done.

Come on, there's other things in life
besides running that spread of yours.

Oh, yeah? Like what?

Like having supper with friends,

or playing a little poker,
dancing with some girls.

If you had a spread
as big as Tuck's here,

you wouldn't have any time
for that dancing and poker play.

Tuck, come on out, you're
always welcome at the Ponderosa.

- Thank you.
- Really, how's the leg feeling?



- Oh, tolerable, tolerable.
- Just tolerable, huh?

How come you're so spruced up?

We're gonna meet some friends of
Pa's from back East, Philadelphia.

I figure with some of the riffraff
running around the street here,

I gotta try to make
a good impression.

Well,

the tie don't help that much.

JOE: Ha, ha. Thanks
a lot. We'll see you.

Whoa!

[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

- Ben! BEN: Ha, ha.

- Ben Cartwright, you old... Ha, ha.
- Martin, you son of a gun. Ha, ha.

- How are you? Good to see you.
- Great. You look wonderful.

You're wonderful. You
look wonderful yourself.

This is my... My youngest boy.

- Little Joe, this is Mr. Melviney.
JOE: Pleasure to meet you.

- How are you, son? JOE:
Heard about the old days.

Lucy, dear.

Lucy, this is Ben Cartwright
and his son Little Joe.

My daughter, Lucinda.

Well, Miss Lucinda.

What a pleasure.

Welcome to Virginia
City and to the Ponderosa.

It's my pleasure, ma'am.

JOE: Let me get the bags for you.
- Let me give you a hand.

JOE: It's all right, I got it.
- Here they are.

JOE: These three?
- Martin.

I can't believe it's been that
long since we've seen each other.

Oh, it is, Ben. The gray in
our hair should prove that.

[BEN CHUCKLES]

It sure does.

TUCK: Hey.

You didn't tell me about her.

Tuck, I thought you're only
interested in meeting horses.

Ah...

BEN: Martin.
- Thank you, Ben.

- Thanks, Little Joe.
- Didn't have too dusty a trip, did you?

No, fine trip all the way.

Mr. Cartwright, uh,

I'd like to accept that kind invitation
of yours for supper, uh, tonight.

Oh. Ahem. Well, uh,
Tuck, I thought you said

that nothing could ever get you
away from that ranch of yours.

What ranch?

In that case, we'll
expect you tonight.

Yeah.

[BEN CHUCKLES]

I remember you leaving
St. Louis to go back East

like it was yesterday.

Martin, it can't be 28 years.

It is, though, Ben. Ahem. It is.

I never thought when I left
I'd be corralled in Philadelphia,

a place I'd never even heard of.

Well, I'm sure glad to see
that you've done so well.

Yes, I've made some money.

The best thing that ever
happened to me, though,

was meeting Ada there
and our having Lucy.

That was Ada.

Beautiful woman.

Yes, she was.

All the way.

I lost Ada when Lucy was just 5.

Ben, you have no idea what it
is to raise a child all by yourself.

Oh, of course I don't. Heh.

Heh, no. You're
talking about boys.

I mean a woman child.

I tell you, Ben, the human female filly
is a woman grown down instead of up.

She's just as hard to
make out as her big sister.

Lucy has always
been a puzzle to me.

Oh, that's because you've
spoiled the heck out of her.

Only child. A girl.

No, that's not what
bothers me, Ben.

See, Lucy was a sickly child.

Spent a good many years in bed.

Then had to take it easy
for a long time after that.

As a result, she found all of
her companionship in books

instead of in people.

Now that she's grown
and healthy, she still does.

Mostly poetry, romantic novels.

Well, you know, young girls
and romantic novels go together

like strawberries and cream.

Yes, but Lucy gets all of her
ideas of life out of these books.

She hardly ever
comes down to bedrock.

I thought that out here where you
still have to claw some just to stay alive,

she might just
come down to earth.

Then neither of you have read this
latest book by Mr. Charles Dickens?

No, not me.

LUCY: Hmm.

Well, I suppose it
is understandable.

A Tale of Two Cities was
only published this year.

Probably hasn't reached the
Virginia City bookstores yet.

The bookstores?

Yeah, the bookstores.

Miss Lucinda, I'd
sure admire to read it.

Well, I'd be very
happy to lend it to you,

as soon as I finish
reading it again.

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, I'm especially
fond of Sydney Carton.

- Friend of yourn?
- Oh, you are silly.

Well, he's a person
in the book, the hero.

A ne'er-do-well,

a drunkard who
nobly redeems himself.

I didn't know a souse... A
drunk could be a book hero.

Oh. He was a wonderful hero.

You see, Sydney Carton was
in love with a beautiful woman

by the name of Lucie Manette.

I bet she ain't any prettier
than you are, Miss Lucinda.

Thank you.

All my friends call me Lucy.

I hope you both will.

JOE: You've just
talked us into it.

Tell us more about
Lucie, uh... The other one.

Well, Lucie Manette was in
love with a handsome man

by the name of Charles Darnay.

But Charles was in prison,

and they were just
about to execute him.

Oh, but Sydney Carton
loved Lucie so much,

- do you know what he did?
- No, tell me.

He sneaked into
Charles Darnay's cell,

drugged him senseless,

and took his place in prison

and died in his stead.

Must have had a pretty nearsighted
guard if he couldn't tell the difference.

Oh, but they looked alike.

Do you know what
Sydney Carton said

just as they were
about to execute him?

What his very last words were?

No, what were they?

- "So long," I guess.
- Heh.

Oh, nobody ever says "so long"
in a book by Mr. Charles Dickens.

Well, not when they're
about to die, anyway.

No, what he said was:

It is a far, far
better thing I do

than anything I have ever done.

Isn't that a beautiful epitaph?

I'm sorry,

I think the whole
thing is pretty silly.

- What?
- Oh, well, the way I look at it,

this fellow would've been better
off if he just let well enough alone.

His rival dies and he has
the girl he's in love with.

Apparently, you don't understand
this kind of nobility. This...

Well, this was an
ideal sort of love.

Oh, come on, there's a big difference
between being noble and being stupid.

Listen, if Lucy says something's
noble, then it's downright noble.

And don't you go saying
anything she says is stupid.

Look, I'm not arguing with Lucy.

I'm arguing with this fellow
Dickens, the guy who wrote the book.

You taking up for Dickens?

- Don't you start weaseling.
- Who's weaseling?

He ain't here and she is.

And if she says something
is noble, then it is.

And don't say anything
she says is silly!

JOE: If I wanna say that something
is silly that this guy Dickens says,

or he's stupid or anything I
wanna say, I'm gonna say it,

whether it's Dickens
or this guy Carton

or Napoleon Bonaparte,
if I wanna say it.

Joseph.

Supper's ready.

I'm sorry that Adam
and Hoss are so late.

Of course, they're
coming a long way.

I can hardly wait to see
the sights around here.

I'd sure admire to show you
myself. It would be an honor.

I'm sorry, Tuck, but Lucy
already has a guide, me.

I'd be delighted to have
two such exceptional guides.

What do you think
you'd like to see?

Adam and Hoss are doing some
branding down at the South Creek.

Oh, no, thank you.

I mean, well, I've heard about
branding and I don't think I'd enjoy it.

Yeah. I don't suppose that'd be
too interesting for a young lady.

JOE: Huh.
- How about Indian's Grief?

Yeah, that's a wonderful
idea. Just the ticket.

- What is it?
- Just an old Indian landmark.

No, wait a minute, Joe, it's more
than just an old Indian landmark.

It's the most romantic
spot around here.

Really? Oh, please
tell me about it.

Well,

the Indians, that
is, the Paiutes,

believed that a great chief
is buried at Indian's Grief,

and they mourn him.

Because according
to their legend,

at the very beginning of time,

the Great Manitou,
that is, the Great Spirit,

visited his wrath upon them.

And after many men,
women and children had died,

the medicine man told the chief

that the only way the Great
Manitou could be appeased

would be if the chief
sacrificed his eldest son to him.

No.

Well, the chief prayed
to the Great Manitou

and asked that he be allowed
to take the place of his son.

He dressed himself
in his finest garments

and he mounted
his favorite horse,

and he rode to the very
top of the highest cliff,

and he leaped off.

What a beautiful story.

The Paiutes are very
superstitious about Indian's Grief.

They never walk around
the rocks there. It's taboo.

They don't mind white men doing
it, but it's sacrilege for a Paiute.

Well, Lucy, dear,

there's the romantic West
you've been looking for.

Oh, I can hardly wait to
see it. When can we go?

- Well...
- I think...

- Well, if you really wanna go...
- Seeing that it was my idea,

I'll take you there
tomorrow myself.

Mm. How about some more cake?

- Oh, no.
- Not for me.

There you are.

Oh, sorry we're late.

We got held up.

Well, come on in and sit
down and have something.

Hoss and Adam, my two sons,

meet our guests, Miss
Lucinda Melviney...

Hey, country around here
is getting prettier all the time.

And I'd like you to meet
the father of the country,

my old friend
Mr. Martin Melviney.

Happy to meet you, sir.

Hoss, Adam.

Well, how's the
branding coming along?

Fine, Pa, if a bunch of
renegade Paiutes don't show up.

- They around here now?
- Well, sort of close by.

It seems a few days ago,
they killed a couple of fellows

and a woman over
at Savage Station.

Day before yesterday,
they killed a man

and a little 11-year-old
boy out at the Smiths'.

ADAM: Apparently, they
were all young bucks.

One of the men at Smith's
recognized the leader.

And guess who it was, Joe.

- Who?
- Your old friend Sharp Tongue.

What?

Who is Sharp Tongue?

He's a...

He's an Indian boy I
used to go to school with.

His father wanted him to
learn the ways of the white man.

I'm afraid it didn't work out.

Why?

Was he an evil little boy?

No. He was an Injun.

I'm afraid children borrow
the thinking of their parents.

What made it worse,
he was a proud Indian.

Me? I admired him for it.

He did more than that, miss.

More than once, Little Joe
got beat up defending him.

Why, Little Joe.

What a terribly
noble thing to do.

Why? He was just my friend.

I wish he'd had more friends.

Those murders stem all the way back
to that little schoolhouse, I'm afraid.

It'll probably get worse.

It's just not fair that...

You should take me
to Indian's Grief now.

You promised days ago.

And here you are, you're just
backing down on your promise.

Oh. I'm losing my
patience with both of you.

Well, Lucy, you're gonna have
to be patient a little bit longer.

Till those renegade Indians
are out of this part of the country.

It's not safe until then.

We got time. You've
been here less than a week.

[LUCY SCOFFS]

Really? You two,
you're so silly.

Afraid of a few
frightened Indians.

In James Fenimore Cooper's
book, The Last of the Mohicans...

Come on, Lucy. Not
another book writer.

These are not storybook Indians.

They're real and
they're dangerous.

They're not gonna set you up as some
great white princess and worship you,

no matter what you've read,

because these Indians have
not read the same books.

You don't have... You don't
have to be angry with me.

That's right. You ain't got no call to
rear up and stomp on her like that.

Come on, Tuck. We've both seen
what renegades do to white women.

It's not pretty.

We're not going until it's
safe. And that's all there is to it.

He's right. They
ain't playing games.

Hey.

Come on, are we still friends?

Sure we are.

I guess I did jump on
you a little quick. I'm sorry.

- Ready to go?
- Yes.

Hey, wait a second.

Looks like a
little stone bruise.

He'll be all right tomorrow.

Lucy, you'll have
to ride with me now.

Slow down a minute.

My horse has got a
gait like a rocking chair.

Lucy is gonna be a lot
more comfortable back of me.

You gotta think of her.

Tsk. You know, Tuck,
I just don't believe you.

You are so noble.

You know, you make that fellow
Syd Carton look like a tinhorn.

[CHUCKLES]

I'll tell you what we'll do,
though, we'll flip a coin for it.

Let me see that there coin.

If you can't trust your
friends, who can you trust?

- Call it in the air.
- Heads.

[CHUCKLES]

Doggone!

Little Joe, you just hang
on to that there lucky coin.

Tuck. Tuck.

That's the lame horse.

Tuck.

Tuck.

Any time you're ready.

Thank you, Tuck.

Thank you.

Well, uh... [TUCK
& LUCY CHUCKLE]

Well, so long.

- So long, Little Joe.
- See you, Tuck.

- See you tomorrow, Lucy.
- Bye, Tuck.

So long.

Do you really think
you're being fair to Tuck?

- Fair?
- Yeah.

You know, Tuck's whole
life has been the ranch.

Ever since he was a
boy, before his folks died,

that's all he's thought about.

Never even had
a girl of his own.

And all of a sudden, you
come along and he falls for you.

I like Tuck.

I like him very much.

Everybody likes Tuck.

There's a big difference between
like and the way he feels about you.

You seem to be very sure that I
couldn't learn to return that love.

You and Tuck?

No, you don't have
anything in common.

Nothing at all. But it doesn't matter
to Tuck, because he loves you.

You know, to him, you're
not even a girl, you're...

You're a princess
out of a storybook.

Oh, Little Joe,

sometimes a girl wants to
be treated like a princess.

MARTIN: Lucy, dear, why
don't you come along with us?

We're going out to
the Timber Wolf mine.

BEN: We sure wish you would.

We haven't seen
near enough of you.

Now I understand you'll be
leaving for home in a couple of days.

- Going home? MARTIN:
I'm sorry. I meant to tell you.

We're going to have to
leave sooner than we planned.

The Timber Wolf people are
insisting that I go back East immediately

to organize a mining syndicate.

I understand, Daddy.

All right, dear.

Uh, Mr. Cartwright, I
hope you'll excuse me. I...

I'm really very tired. I...

I think I'll just
stay here and rest.

- Of course.
- You take care, dear.

Hyah.

We'll see you.

Well, we're gonna miss you.

Thank you. I'll...

Well, I'll miss everything.

I'm afraid my whole
morning's pretty well taken up.

I have to deliver some supplies to
my brothers down at South Creek.

I could stay here a little while
with you if you wanted me to.

Oh, no, no, please.

I think I'll just stay at home

and catch up on
some reading I have.

Well, better be on my way. You
sure you don't want me to stay?

- No, no, please.
- Okay.

Well, see you later.

How you doing, Tuck?

[JOE LAUGHING]

Oh, don't tell me. Ha-ha-ha.

Yeah, I tried to bust
Mamma's Boy this morning.

That danged horse
throwed me again.

Ah. Getting tiresome, him
stepping on the same foot.

- You'd think he'd want some variety.
- Ha, ha.

I noticed it didn't stop you
from courting Lucy, though.

Where is Lucy?

Well, she's in the
house, isn't she?

Oh, I figured she's with you. That
horse she's been riding is gone.

That's funny, she said she was
gonna stay around the house and read.

One of the hands must
have taken her horse.

She's probably upstairs
reading her romantic stories

in some kind of a trance.

Hey, Lucy!

[JOE WHISTLES]

Hey, Lucy!

Knowing that girl, she's
probably hiding under the furniture,

laughing about it.

Hey, Lucy, you in the kitchen?

What is it?

It's a note from Lucy.

"When I learned we were
going home in a couple of days,

I just couldn't leave
without seeing Indian's Grief.

Don't worry."

After the way we warned her.

Well, we'll just go fetch her.

She's probably sitting up
there on that rock by herself.

Yeah, if Paiute renegades
don't find her first.

I'll get the horses.

I'll leave a note for Pa,
tell him where we're going.

JOE: Indian's Grief.

[HORSES WHINNY]

[ALL YELLING]

[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Sharp Tongue.

Joe Cartwright.

It's been a long time.

LUCY: Oh, Tuck, Little
Joe! TUCK: Let her be!

Let her be! Let her be!

I see you've changed
your name, Sharp Tongue.

Now they call you He
Who Scares Women.

You used to speak
for me, Cartwright.

Now you speak against me.

I used to speak for the
man who was my friend.

I don't know you anymore.

I have changed.

I no longer take insults.

I no longer take beatings.

I no longer am a boy in
the white man's school.

So now you spend your
life killing innocent people

for the insults of
ignorant children.

I was a child too.

You're not a child anymore.

You once told me that
the ways of the Indian

were better and wiser
than those of the white man.

Is this how you'll prove it?

By burning, by murdering.

By proving that you're
worse than the worst of us.

Paiute still better
than white man.

You'll see.

The only thing I'll see is you
hanging from the end of a rope.

No.

I saw this shirt in a dream.

When I woke, I made
shirt just like in dream.

As long as I wear shirt,
nothing evil can happen to me.

Manitou himself
promised it in the dream.

Because you were once my friend,

now I do more
for you, Cartwright,

than white man would if
he were on the warpath

and had Paiute as prisoner.

You are free.

Go!

JOE: She's my woman.

He's my friend, as we
were friends in school.

Let them go too.

She is pretty for a white woman.

But too small for work.

Two times, Cartwright,

you try to save me from
beating by other boys,

and you are beaten with me.

I show you I am
better than white man.

For those two beatings,
I give you two lives,

yours and one other.

Choose.

What are you waiting for?

Take her with you.

Go on.

Please.

Come on.

Oh, Tuck.

Go away with him, Lucy.

Please. I'll be all right.

No.

SHARP TONGUE: Go quickly,
Cartwright, and do not come back.

The next time we meet, remember,

I will owe you nothing.

Come on, keep moving.

Sharp Tongue can
always change his mind.

LUCY: We can't just
leave him there, Little Joe.

Stay put and be quiet.

What are they doing?

It's an old Indian game.

He gets a head start,
the length of a bow shot.

If he can outrun them, he lives.

And if not, he dies?

[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

You think you can
find your way back?

All right, then get going.

He can't die now.

I love him, Little Joe.

I love him.

Lucy, listen to me.

If you love him,
then do what I say.

I left a note for Pa. He
knows where we are.

You'll probably meet
him on the way back.

Tell him what's happening
and tell him to hurry.

Now go on.

Sharp Tongue! Wait!

Since when does Sharp
Tongue play woman's sport?

I told you the next time
we meet, I would kill you.

This is woman's sport. My
friend's leg is hurt. He can't run.

If you want sport worthy of a
warrior, let me take his place.

Let him go free.

And try to kill me if you can.

I could always outfight you
and outrun you. I still can.

You know the game.

You will have no weapon.

I know the game.

If you get away alive, he lives.

But if you don't, he dies too.

Go, Cartwright.

[SHOUTS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

- What's going on? JOE:
I'm taking your place.

- You can't do it.
- With that leg,

you wouldn't have a
chance. Now, get going.

[SHARP TONGUE SHOUTS
IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Whoa. Whoa.

Ben, I'm gonna see
if Lucy's in her room.

Martin.

Yes, Ben?

Lucy's not in her room.

What?

According to Little Joe's note here,
she was headed for Indian's Grief.

And the renegade Paiutes
were seen around there.

- We'll take that.
- Should we get more men?

No, there's no time
for that. Let's go.

JOE: Sharp Tongue.

The spirit of the Great
Chief will destroy you

if you fight on
his burial grounds.

My shirt will protect me.

[SPEAKS IN FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

Cartwright.

Now I kill you.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

[GASPS]

Joe.

You all right,
son? You all right?

Yeah, Pa, I'm fine.

I had to... I had to
kill Sharp Tongue.

The rest of his braves rode
off towards the reservation.

Well, without Sharp Tongue,
they have no leader, no purpose.

- Let's go home.
- Little Joe.

Thank you, son.

Thank you very much.

Me too.

LUCY: Little Joe.

I'm sorry that my
foolish, romantic curiosity

almost got you killed.

But you...

You are as noble
as Sydney Carton.

Maybe you'll know the
difference now between

living and what you
read in storybooks.

[BELLS JANGLING]

[ALL CHATTERING]

Hey, wait, wait,
wait, not so fast.

Doesn't the best man
get a kiss from the bride?

Now, what about the ushers?

TUCK: You got your
kiss back at the wedding.

Wait a minute. When
you got a gold mine,

ain't gonna be chintzy over
a couple nuggets, are you?

JOE: Ha, ha. TUCK: Yeah.

Take your nuggets
and make them small.

HOSS: Good luck.
- Good luck.

Thank you, Little Joe.

Little Joe, I've
learned my lesson.

Oh, I'm gonna...

I'm gonna be a good wife to him.

I'm gonna cook for him,
I'm gonna be practical, I'm...

I'm gonna even learn to sew
and make my own clothes.

I know you will.

MARTIN: All right,
Little Joe, our turn now.

JOE: Okay.

Little Joe, I'd admire
having a word with you.

Well, sure, bridegroom.

TUCK: Excuse me, honey.

What's that?

I just want you to know I
especially appreciate your saving me.

Oh, come on, forget it.

On account of you being
in love with Lucy yourself.

What?

I realize you didn't wanna own
up to it out there at Indian's Grief.

But I know the truth.

And I know it took a lot
to save the life of a fellow

who is in love
with your best girl.

Who did that?

Don't. Listen, you did exactly
what that Carton hombre did

in that there book of Lucy's.

- Are you out of your head? I didn't...
- Don't you fret.

I ain't gonna tell anybody.

Especially Lucy.

LUCY: Tuck, come on.

Hey, Tuck, that stage is ready.

TUCK: Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.

- Oh. Tuck, my very best
wishes. TUCK: Thank you.

MARTIN: Bye, darling.
- Pop.

- Take good care of her, Tuck.
- I will.

- Watch your head. LUCY: Okay.

MARTIN: There you go.

BEN & MARTIN: Bye.

- What's the matter, Joe?
- Hmm?

What's the matter?

Pa, I just can't believe it.

She's starting to think like him
and he's starting to think like her.

Well, that's good.

They say that compromise is
the secret of a happy marriage.

Yeah, but they just got married.

I mean, can you picture
it a year from now?

He'll be sitting there reading
Dickens and she'll be busting horses.

[BOTH LAUGHING]

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