Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 5, Episode 21 - King of the Mountain - full transcript

Hoss finds himself smack dab in the middle of a mountain family feud when he agrees to be the best man at ornery Big Jim Leyton's wedding.

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Get a letter from the president?

I know. Somebody
left you a million dollars.

- Oh, hi, Pa. Pa, hey.
- Yeah.

You remember Jim Leyton?

Jim Leyton? That big mountain man?
The one you had the big fight with?

I'd as soon remember
an earthquake.

- Well, Pa, he's getting married.
- Jim Leyton's getting married?

Yep.

He wants me to be his best man.



On account I'm the only fellow to
have ever whupped him fair and square.

Jim Leyton. There's a
man that walks around

with trouble in a bundle
and loves every minute of it.

Well, Pa, according to
this letter, he's changed.

Him, changed?

Hoss, do yourself a
favor. Keep away from him.

He's trouble. Big trouble.
Nothing but trouble.

Well, but even so,
it's sort of an honor

to be invited to be
Jim Leyton's best man.

I mean, up there in the
mountain country, his country.

I reckon I ought to be thinking about a
wedding present for him or something.

Well, it better be portable if
you're going to travel all that way.

Hey, Pa,

ahem, you know them
little matched ponies you got



from old Jean Hendricks?

Oh, no, you don't. Not
them matched ponies.

You keep away from them now.

Why don't you get
him something simple?

Like a pair of matched bears.

Or dueling pistols,
or lace for the bride.

Oh, Pa, lace?

Jim Leyton ain't gonna
marry no gal like that.

Now, look, Pa, I'll offer
you a fair price for them.

And I know you didn't
pay much for them.

Pa, look, I owe it to him.

That was the best danged
fight I ever had in my life.

Yeah, you almost got yourself killed
in that best danged fight you ever had.

Now you want to
be with him again.

Oh, I just smell another fight.

But you're set on
going, aren't you?

Hmm. Well, I tell you what.

The matched ponies are yours.

Thanks, Pa.

It's your bones too.

You Paiutes?

Comanche?

I come in peace,
whoever you are.

Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!

Dag burn your ornery,
cantankerous hide.

You ain't changed a bit, Jim.

Oh, yes, I have, you
big hay-shaking farmer.

In the old days, I'd
have used a real Indian.

Doggone, Hoss,
it's good to see you,

even if you are a plumb
sorry-looking sight.

Wait till I start prodding
you down that aisle.

Then we'll see who's gonna
be the sorry-looking sight.

Now, hold on.

Just because you whupped me
fair and square in your own backyard

don't give you no license to forget
who's king of this here mountain.

And I'll tell you
something else.

If you don't get a pot of
coffee on in about nothing flat,

I'm gonna give you a
chance to try your luck again.

You better save
yourself for that wedding.

You know something, Jim?

You got a good life up here.

Yeah, but it gets
awful lonesome.

Well, I never did mind being
lonesome if I was by myself.

It's being lonesome with
somebody that scares me.

Scares me too.

You know, Hoss,

I reckon that's the reason
that I run all over the country,

getting into trouble like I did.

Then I come back home here
and seen how Julie'd growed up.

You sure do get moony-eyed
when you talk about her.

I reckon you mean it, don't you?

Hoss, she's cut right out
of these here mountains.

But soft, though.

And I sure do mean it.

Well, sir, I'll tell you, Jim, you're
gonna have all the good luck

that I can possibly
wish down on you.

Hoss, that's the reason I
asked you to be my best man.

You know, with all that tallow,

why, you ought to pack a
little bit of weight upstairs.

Very funny.

She probably don't deserve you,
even if she has got poor judgment.

Shh.

What's the matter?

Somebody's coming.

It's Julie, I think.

Well, you figuring on shooting
her? You ain't even married yet.

Just stop your yapping.

I think she's got her pa along.

Jim?

Yeah, Julie?

You got your pa with you?

Yeah, but he ain't armed.

He promised he
wouldn't start anything.

Will you talk to him?

Where's he at, Julie?

Behind the rock.

You sure he ain't armed?

I searched him myself.

All right, sweetheart,
bring him on in.

Come on, Pa. Come on.

- You're gonna get my head shot off.
- Oh, Pa.

You're leading me to
the slaughter like a lamb.

Now, you gonna keep your word?

Now, look, if I made you a
promise, I'm gonna keep it.

It ain't gonna make no difference.
That skunk you think you're marrying,

he don't know the difference
between right and wrong.

Now, Pa, I don't think. I know.
There's gonna be a wedding.

If he lives that long.

- What's that?
- Well, this is Hoss Cartwright.

He's gonna be best
man at our wedding.

Hoss, this is Julie.

Grizzly, Hoss.

Hello, Hoss. I sure
heard a lot about you.

Well, thank you, Miss Julie. I've
heard a lot about you too. Mr. Martingale.

Any friend of Leyton's is
a mortal enemy of mine.

Am I your enemy, Pa?

That's different, Julie, honey.

You're my daughter.

And besides, you don't
know what you're doing.

Jim, look,

have I been invited here
to be a best man at wedding

or second for a fight?

Stick around. Just
might be a pallbearer.

That's right, just
keep a-talking.

- You keep that big mouth shut!
- Stop it! Stop it, the both of you!

Now, Pa, you ain't never
broke a promise to me before.

Are you gonna
make this the first?

And you. You promised
to negotiate with Pa.

Did you mean it?

All right. Let's
get it over with.

Not just talk this time?

You'll both really try?

- I'll try.
- Well, I promised, didn't I?

All right, then.

Hoss, will you
take me for a walk?

These two got some
palavering to do.

Go ahead, Hoss.

Yes, ma'am. I'd be
happy to, ma'am.

If he tries anything,
just holler, Julie.

Well, I just may not.

Well, it's kind
of simple, really.

Those two are the
only real loves of my life

and I can't get
them to be friends.

What's it all about
anyhow, Miss Julie?

Oh...

They're in there arguing over
apiece of land they both lay claim to.

A big piece of land?

A very, very little piece.

But a lot of stubborn pride.

Sometimes, pride's worth
more than land out here.

Look, how did they come about
laying claim to the same piece of land?

It was the stake in a card game.

They both had the same hand.

Pair of treys, ace, jack, four.

And they've been
arguing over it ever since.

That was 14 years ago.

Yeah, well, there's
one thing for sure,

this sure ain't no atmosphere
for a wedding, is it?

Oh, sure is quiet in there.

That's a bad sign.

Means they're up to something.

Look, I'll go over and stick
my head in, take a peek.

Oh, you be careful.

They'll both be real
touchy. I know them.

Gentlemen, I'm sorry to
interrupt your conversation,

but I got some stuff in
my saddlebags over here

I needed to tend to.

I was a fool to let her come over
here and palaver with a swindling cheat.

You ain't gonna bamboozle me
out of what's mine. Never again.

I don't want what's yours,
you bellyaching old billy goat.

All I want is what's mine.

What you're
claiming is yours, ain't.

I won that fair and
square in that poker game.

You did not. You lost.

Boy, will you get out of here?
You're getting on my nerves!

Now, he's my guest. Don't
you go telling him what to do.

That's right. Keep your
bodyguard close at hand.

You're gonna need him,
you fork-tongued old lizard!

Now, watch out what
you're saying, old man.

Julie's pa or not, there's a limit
to what I'm gonna take off of you.

Well, hurry up and get to it,
because I'm sick of your empty blather!

You talk like you're sick
of breathing too, you...

Now, listen to me.

Why, you two sound like a
bunch of overgrown children.

And I sure ain't gonna
spend the rest of my life

listening to you
growling at each other.

Or maybe one of you losing
hold and killing the other.

And I sure ain't gonna
choose between you, neither.

So don't make it come to that.

Now, you better settle
this thing somehow.

Oh, Julie, you know
I'm a-trying to settle it.

Yeah, me too, honey.

It's just this lying
cheat you're marrying.

See? See what he said?

You both make me sick!

You two are blaming
everybody but yourself.

And that poor little girl,

she's soaking up the
misery from both of you.

Oh, simmer down. It
ain't as clear-cut as all that.

Well, it is to me.

You wouldn't
recognize a solution

if it came up and
punched you in the gut.

I would too.

You would, huh? How about you?

I ain't heard nothing out of
you but a lot of meddling talk.

And no solution to nothing.

- Why, you...
- Jim, Jim, Jim! Wait.

Wait a minute, Jim.

Jim, look, why don't you
give the land to the old man?

He's got his self-respect
buried there in it, Jim.

And I'll guarantee if you do,

he'll hand Julie over to you
wrapped up in a white ribbon.

Now, what about my self-respect?

Shoot, I wouldn't be no good to
Julie or myself, either one, without it.

I told you one time before,
Hoss, what my life has been like.

Well, it's just my pride
that's all that's kept me alive.

Julie knows that as well
as anybody else does.

Since when's it gonna hurt
your pride, Jim, to give a little?

Well, if I go giving into old Grizzly
now, why, I'll lose everything.

Hoss, I've carved a life for
myself out of these mountains.

I've been called a dirty,
no-good, renegade half-breed.

I've been locked up,
shot up, spit on, but I won.

Shoot, I'm king of
these here mountains

and I ain't gonna
give that up to nobody.

Hoss, you tried to
understand me one time before

and you saved my life.

I'm asking you, just string
along with me again, will you?

Jim, how far is it from here
to that little piece of property?

I'd like to take a look at it.

What's the matter?
You wanna buy it?

Oh, I might,

if you two ever decide
who rightfully owns it.

- Come on. Let's go take a look at it.
- All right.

Jim, you mean to tell me
that that rock pile out there

is what you have been
fighting over all this time?

Well, I'll admit
it's a little bit dry,

but they tell me it used
to be a real pretty spot

before the creek changed course.

Yeah. Yeah, I don't... I don't
reckon it's so bad at that.

What are you driving at?

Nothing. I just might have
me a little idea. Giddyup.

I've been thinking.

There's an easy
solution to the problem

of who owns that property.

Ain't no problem. I own it.

You arbitrate.

- I a-what? What'd you call me?
- No, no, Grizzly.

I ain't calling you nothing.
That ain't what arbitrate means.

Arbitrate means that the two of
you will go out and get a third party.

Somebody that ain't got no
stake in neither one of you

and somebody that
both of you agree on.

Now, this third party then
does some thinking on the matter

and he decides who
rightfully owns the property.

And then both of you agree
to abide by his decision.

- Oh, now, hold on just a minute.
- No, no, no, Pa, he's right.

You know he's right.

Why, it's the only way.

Sounds fair and square to me.

Somewhere in this,
there's a trick. I can feel it.

I can feel it too, Pa.

I can feel my last
chance coming up.

Well, supposing I lose this here...
Whatever that danged word is.

Does that mean I wasn't cheated?

Does that mean that I gotta bless
the marriage of my only daughter

to the man what cheated me?

Do it for my sake.

Let me marry in peace.

Look, the way I see
it, it's the only way

you two are gonna get by
each other without busting heads.

What's wrong with
knocking heads?

It ain't a proper way
to bless a marriage, Pa.

I want my marriage
blessed proper.

But, honey, I just don't like
this fancy way of settling things.

But you'll do it?

For me?

Please?

Well, who do you
wanna try first?

Well, how about the mayor?

No, not the mayor.
I didn't vote for him.

I told him so too.

What about a judge?
Is there a judge in town?

Comes by twice a year,
but he wouldn't do nohow.

Dad blame idiot went and fined me
$2 for busting up the saloon one time.

But, Jim, he
suspended the sentence.

It don't matter. It's the
principle of the thing.

What I done to that saloon
was worth $10 any day.

Well, let's try the store clerk.

Either of you owe him any money?

Yep.

Yeah.

Hmm. Well, at least
you're on an equal footing.

He's kind of old, ain't he?

Yeah, snores real loud.

Sign of character.

I never seen an honest
shopkeeper in my life.

Me neither.

Hey, wake up.

Wake up.

Grizzly. Jim.

Something wrong?

Why, Pa and Jim are finally
gonna settle their land dispute.

They need an arbitrator.

Please, folks. I got a
wife, I got three kids

and I'm allergic to cross fire.

Anybody knows
I'm not too bright.

And I don't know a
darn thing about land.

You fellas don't have to worry
about the money you owe me, okay?

Please don't make me do this.

Hey, what if...?

No, forget it. It wouldn't work.

What about the undertaker?

Nope.

Never paid him for
planting Uncle Jake.

Uncle Jake weren't
worth planting.

What about a doctor? There
ought to be a doctor in town.

They're supposed to
be brave and honest.

No, I never paid
him for birthing Julie.

Oh, we've been through
this whole blamed town.

They're either too scared
or one of you rejected them.

Somewhere in this
town, there's an arbitrator,

and I'm gonna find him if I have
to turn over every stinking rock.

I'm going home.

Well, I'm going for the saloon.

All this thinking
has parched me.

Yeah, why don't you?

I reckon she's fed
clean up by now.

I don't blame her none, neither.

You dag burned lunkhead,
why don't you go on after her?

That's what she wants. And
say something nice to her too.

Dang it, Jim, you don't know
nothing about women, do you?

All right, Romeo.

All right.

I'm sorry, Julie.

I'm sorry that it couldn't
have been simple and easy.

Sorry?

Why should Jim Leyton
be sorry about anything?

Why, he's king of the mountain.

Kings don't have to
be sorry about nothing.

Right now I don't hardly
feel like king of a molehill.

But, Julie, I can't
help it, what I am.

When I asked you to marry
me, it was me you said yes to,

not something or somebody else.

Life sure would have been
easier had I turned you down.

I reckon it ain't too late
to change your mind.

Jim.

It was too late
the day I met you.

Give me a beer, please, sir.

You dogging my
footsteps, farmer boy?

Nope. Just trying
to be sociable.

And that ain't
too easy with you.

I don't mean it to be.

Grizzly, why don't you swallow
a little bit of that pride of yours

and give Julie a chance?

Now, you gotta start someplace.

So why don't you decide
on an arbitrator by tomorrow?

Now, look, farmer boy,
don't push me. Just back off.

I got ornery blood.

Ain't nobody pushing.

Oh, yes, there is.

You are. All of you are.

You just won't let a
man grow old in peace.

You got to take away
everything he's got.

Well, you ain't
doing that to me, boy.

I can still look out for myself.

Now, just leave me alone.

I'm sick of you. I'm
sick of all of you.

Now, just leave me alone.

Dag burn.

If you ain't got a knack for
putting together more words

and saying less with them than
any man I ever met in my life.

Hey, Parson.

Hey, Parson. Parson.

Thank you for stopping.

I ain't gonna hurt you.

- You ain't? Aren't?
- No. Why would I wanna do that?

Well, I haven't been doing
very well in these parts.

You see, I'm needed so
badly that I'm not at all wanted.

I seem to get run out of
town before I even get in.

Yeah, it is sort of
tough country, ain't it?

Yeah, I'm just
not cut out for it.

Yes, it was all a
mistake, anyway.

I applied for duty at
the Borneo Mission,

but they sent me here instead.

Yes, sir.

I got a mighty big
favor to ask of you.

A favor?

A big one.

You a Republican?

We're not allowed to
discuss our political affiliation

while under the cloak.

I'm sorry.

Did you ever catch
a trout on a feather?

I prefer silver spoons, myself.

What's the difference between
a steelhead and a rainbow?

If I remember correctly, the steelhead
is the marine form of the rainbow trout,

more correctly known
as Salmo Gairdneri.

Oh, the steelhead would
be Salmo Gairdneri Gairdneri.

What's worth more, a
skunk or a white weasel pelt?

Hmm. The weasel.

Now, don't you go give me
that look like your ma used to do.

Yes, thank you, Mr. Cartwright.

Yes, I've reached my decision.

Well, out with it.

Eh...

Oh, yes. The decision.

By the moral power vested
in me by The Mission Society,

and approved by the
Greater Seminary Council

and weighted by the Good Book,

I have examined the facts

and looked into my heart
and soul for a decision.

Well, out with it!

Uh... Please.

I know very little about poker,

but even to the innocent,

it's obvious that the hands of
the disputants were identical.

Now, the logical way to settle
that dilemma would have been

for one to sell or trade one
half of the land to the other.

Therefore, my decision

as arbitrator is that the
land be sold to a third party

and the money divided
between the disputants.

Now, if you will excuse me.

Thank you very much,
Parson. Thank you.

Well, gentlemen, that
decision seems most fair to me.

Now, me being a third party, I'm
offering you $200 for that property.

That's a hundred dollars apiece.

Anybody wanna top it?

Alrighty.

Looks like it's a deal.

And, Grizzly, there's your hundred,
and, Jim, there's your hundred.

Now, since I'm the sole
owner of that property out there,

it looks like we can stop
all this feuding, don't it?

Suits me.

You wanna shake, Grizzly?

Sure it suits you.

You won this round with
double-talk and fancy doings.

You had it figured all the time.

Make a fool out of me in
front of the whole danged town.

Now, Pa, you promised
to abide by the decision.

You gonna break your word?

Well, honey, there's some
promises come first before others.

You. You come in here with
your pocket full of wise sayings,

all ready to solve
everybody's problems, huh?

Sitting up there on your fine
horse, all big and fat, huh?

Getting yourself some
old runt of a parson

who don't know the difference
between a poker hand

and a scalping knife to
stand in front of the whole town

saying I don't own what I own.

And my own daughter,

listening to him,
siding with him.

Your ma would've had a few
things to say to you about that.

Out of my way!

Don't you talk to me about Ma.

She'd have loved seeing
you break your word this way.

My honor's put out
there on that land.

It's being stomped on.

Pa, I don't know what
you're talking about anymore.

Well, then I guess maybe there's
just ain't no more use talking.

He'll cool off, Julie.

Look, honey, we've
got our own lives to live.

Ain't nothing we can do
about it if a stubborn old man

wants to walk on everybody
that crosses his path.

It just ain't fair...

being caught between
the two men I love this way.

Jim.

- Let her go.
- I'll kill him. So help me, I'll...

That's all Julie needs,
for you to kill him.

Hoss, he's looking for a fight.
You know that as well as I do.

All right. Is that what
you want, a fight?

Or a marriage?

Look, Jim,

that old man has put his pride in
front of his own daughter's happiness.

Now, is that what you want?

Boys, let's get back to work here
while the action's red hot. Red hot.

It's 6-to-5 and 3-to-1,
3-to-1 and 6-to-5.

Six-to-five, no wedding.
Three-to-one, Leyton wins the fight.

Come on and get in here. What's
the matter, don't you feel lucky?

All right, get back down
here, get some action here!

It's red hot. How much
do you want? Give me...

What do you want? Give me...

It fits, Pa.

I'm just the same size as Ma.

That's right, honey,
same size. On the outside.

On the inside too, Pa.

And I love you just
as much as she did.

Yeah, but she never went contrary
to my thinking, my feelings, like you.

Well, she was your wife, Pa.

And I wanna be a wife too

and be beholden to my
husband's thinking and feelings.

Not when it's to
that Jim Leyton.

But, Pa, I love him.

And if you love me,
you'll bless my wedding.

Not when it's to
that sneaking thief.

Pa!

Ow.

Dag burn it, hold still. This is
gonna be hard enough like it is.

What is this, a
dressing or a lynching?

Well, it's a... It's
a little bit of both.

But better you than me.

Some friend you
turned out to be.

Dang it. Now, hold still.

I am.

Quit shaking, then.

I ain't a-shaking.

You ain't? Hold out your hands.

Hoss, I ain't been so scared
since that bear run me up a tree

when I was 5 years old.

Oh, what are you scared of?

Did you ever get
a good look at me?

What do you suppose a pretty
little thing like that Julie's doing,

marrying an ugly galoot like me?

Danged if I know, Jim. But if I was
you, I'd hurry up and get to that church

before she changes
her mind and backs out.

Hey!

Hey, congratulations,
Jim. Bygones is bygones.

Thanks a lot,
Harry. They sure is.

You're hooked, Jim. No
use tormenting you no more.

- Might as well shake.
- It's been a long time, Wesley.

Say, I want you to meet my good
friend and best man, Hoss Cartwright.

- Howdy. Hi, how are you, Wesley?
- Hi, Hoss.

Howdy. How are you, sir?

Look at her, Hoss.

- Yeah.
- Boy, ain't she something?

Julie, how beautiful.

- Oh, thank you.
- Congratulations.

Mr. Leyton?

Give me the ring.

What'd I do with
it? Dag burn it.

Hey, here.

- Now, hang on to it.
- Right.

We are gathered here
to wed in holy matrimony

Jim Leyton and Julie Martingale.

Here in this conclave of God,

we must face our
nature and our destiny.

By the power vested in me,

I hereby declare this
ceremony commenced,

with this stipulation,

that if there be any man
present who has a reason

that this marriage
should not take place,

let him speak now or
forever hold his peace.

I'll be speaking now.

Don't do it, Grizzly.

Jim Leyton, you and
me is gonna fight.

Grizzly, you're
forcing me to kill you.

You ought to be
ashamed. This is a church.

Jim, you can't fight him.

If you do, you'll
lose everything.

All right, Parson, this
is a saloon again now.

- Just stay out of my way, Hoss.
- Jim, I can't let you do this.

Dag burn it, it
just ain't right.

Let him go, Hoss.

Let them kill each other.

Maybe they're right.

Maybe it's the way it has to be.

Pa, you feeling so old
and sorry for yourself

has turned you into
a foolish old man

who's given his daughter a
wedding day she'll never forget.

I just wanna ask
you one thing...

and it's the last
thing I'll ever ask.

Why?

Tell me why!

Julie, honey, that piece of
land used to be real pretty,

with a stream running through
it and poppies growing there.

Your ma, she was just 16. She
used to go there and pick flowers.

I met her there.

I promised her that I'd
always keep that place.

And you bet it on a poker game.

And it's the shame of that
day that's done this to us.

No, he cheated me!

Pa. Pa, nobody cheated you.

You could have stopped
that a long time ago.

It's too late now.

You could have said
something about that land.

You keep your hatchet face
out of my affair, do you hear?

It ain't no concern of yours.

Now, come on. Let's
get on with the fighting.

Whoop. Wait a minute, boys.

Fight about what?

You fellas seem to be forgetting
that I own that property now.

You ain't got nothing
to fight about, have you?

All right, here's your money
back. Now it belongs to me again.

Oh, no, wait a
minute. Wait a minute.

That money's just for half of
it, even if I did decide to keep it.

You see, I still
own the other half.

Jim, are you still king
of this here mountain,

or has your friend here
taken it away from you?

Well, I'm sorry, Hoss.

Now we own it
together again, huh?

All right, now let's fight and
settle this thing once and for all.

Wait a minute. Hold it.

You're overlooking
another very important fact.

And that is that, well,
that land just ain't for sale.

I bought that property
fair and square,

and most of the people in
this room were witness to it.

If you two want that property,
you're gonna have to fight me for it.

Either one of you or both of
you. Don't make no difference.

Well, all right.

One side, Jim. I'll take him.

No, I'll whup him.
He's my friend.

- Now, just a doggone minute...
- Now, hold on, Grizzly.

If you and me go fighting one
another, well, we ain't gonna have

enough whupping
power left to handle him.

Tell you what we'll
do, we'll flip for him.

All right. I'll take heads.

Thanks, Hoss.

- Tails.
- Oh, shucks.

- It's gonna be different this time.
- Oh, yeah?

Oh, man.

Hey!

Hey, that was a
little dandy, Jimmy.

Come on, I got
3-to-1 on you! Get up!

Jim, this altitude's winding me.

Well, if there's one thing in this
world you've got plenty of, it's wind.

- Come on.
- Do you love Julie?

More than you'll ever know!

You're gonna have to give up
that land or you'll never get her.

My ancestors would
turn over in their grave!

Here's looking at you.

Come on, Jim! Come on, Jim!

Well, Grizzly,

any doubt in your mind who's
king of the mountain now?

Give up?

Never.

No, no! It's me, Jimmy boy.

We sure whupped him, didn't we?

What do you mean "we"?

Well, on account of
you did most the fighting,

you can still be king of
the mountain if you want.

But we don't let no
outsider come in here

telling us what to do, huh?

What about the land?

Well, remembering's
the important part.

Let him keep it. He bought
it fair and square, didn't he?

I think we better get
that big guzzler outside

- where he can get some air, huh?
- Yeah.

Pick your bets up.

I'm gonna pay off now.

The king of the mountain.

- The king of the mountain.
- The king of the mountain.

King of the mountain.

I better go get Julie, huh?

Oh, no, Jim. Let me.

It's more fitting.

Somebody better go
get a bucket of water.

Julie!

Here you are, sir.

What happened?

Pa kept saying that
you and he won the fight.

Honey, let's get inside
and get on with the wedding.

Come on in, sweetheart, before
your pa changes his mind again.

- You all right?
- Yeah.

You go on inside, I'll
join you in a minute.

Jim. I'm still your
best man, ain't I?

You sure are, partner.

You know something?
I think I won after all.

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