Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 3, Episode 15 - Land Grab - full transcript

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Ah, here, let me
get ahold of that.

Shove your end over into line.

Whoa.

Well, there's some more of them.

That makes the fifth
bunch all together.

Yeah.

Let's go talk to them.

You wait here.

Howdy.



My name's Ben Cartwright.

Young man behind
me is my son, Joseph.

I'm Mike Sullivan.

The boy behind me is
my nephew, Bobby Jacks.

The kid is Eddy Wheeler.

He told me you were coming.

Oh, yes, then you know all
about me and why I'm here.

The kid says you're gonna claim

that I'm building
on your property.

Well, I suppose you
have a deed for this land?

All signed, legal and proper,

by the man who sold
it to us, John Polk.

Mr. Sullivan, I don't
like to tell you this,

but the man who signed that deed



had no right to
sell you the land.

It wasn't his to sell.

You've been swindled.

Mr. Polk told us that you'd be

coming around claiming
something like that.

Oh?

If it's his word against yours,
we're obliged to take his.

Then I'm afraid we're
in for a little trouble.

Well, you try putting
us off this land,

and you'll find
out what trouble is.

Put that rifle down;
there'll be no shooting.

What about him?

Joseph!

Now, Mr. Sullivan,

I was hoping you'd
be a reasonable man.

I brought these people a
long, hard ways to get here.

We fought hunger and thirst,
disease and Indians and thieves.

We did it all to get a little
land that we could settle on.

I am a reasonable
man, Mr. Cartwright,

but I'm not a weak one.

I'm not a coward.

I'll fight for what
belongs to me.

If need be, I'll kill for it.

So will I, Mr. Sullivan.

So will I.

Are my eyes deceiving me?

No, your eyes are all
right, Pa; I see it, too.

I'm Amanda Gates, and
this is Victoria, my sister.

How do?

We're unmarried ladies.

When we bought this place,

the man told us that
ranchers would want

to water their stock here.

Now, it's perfectly all right,
for a small fee, of course.

Well... there must
be some mistake.

Why do you say that?

Well, ma'am, this-this
land and-and the water...

They-they belong
to the Ponderosa,

and we haven't sold any of it.

Excuse me, my name
is Ben Cartwright.

This is my son, Joseph...

We know you, Ben Cartwright,
you black-hearted scoundrel.

Well, ma'am, there's
no need for rifles.

Our people are settling
this valley to the mountains,

on land legally
bought and paid for.

No bandit named
Cartwright's gonna run us off.

Pa, w-why don't you just be a-a
cowardly man named Cartwright

and let's get out of here
before that thing goes off?

No, I-I-I...

P-Pa, why don't
you come with me.

Pa.

Good day.

My name is Henri Belrose.

My name's Ben Cartwright.

This is my son, Joseph.

- Joseph.
- How are you?

This is my friend, John Wheeler.

Well, just how many are you?

And how did you all
happen to come here?

We came here in our wagon train.

My wife and I... we came to
this country to build a home.

Mr. Belrose, this
happens to be my land.

It is my land, Mr. Cartwright.

Do you wish to see the deed?

Yes, I would very much
like to see the deed.

Lisette, please bring our deed

and come out and
meet Mr. Cartwright.

My wife, Lisette.

This is Mr. Cartwright
and his son, Joseph.

Mrs. Belrose.

How are you, ma'am?

You came all the way by
wagon train with this infant?

She came only part of the way.

She was born on the trail.

That's why we are so happy
to be here in our new home.

It's even got a seal.

Does the deed look all
right to you, Mr. Cartwright?

Best-looking deed
I've ever seen.

Well, we'll talk
again, Mr. Belrose.

Ma'am.

Mr. Wheeler.

Good-bye.

Good day, ma'am.

Hop Sing, get me a
decent piece of soap.

I can't wash myself
with this sliver.

Hop Sing, this
water's getting cold!

You want me to catch me death?

Hop Sing?

Hop Sing, put a little
more wood on that fire.

Why aren't these towels
warming by the fire?

Good heavens, man, be somewhat...
Be efficient, for heaven's sake.

All right.

Now the hot water to rinse me.

On the double, boy.

Now, hold on, hold on.

That's not too hot, is it?

No, sir, Colonel Bragg, not hot.

- Not hot at all.
- Oh.

Ice water!

Ice water, you fiend!

That was deliberate!

Where are you
going, you monster?

Take long trip for health.

Maybe go back China.

Oh!

Tired, Kip?

Well, I wouldn't exactly like
to wrestle a bear about now.

Well, about all we
got to do tomorrow

is go up and bring
in those strays.

Well, don't make it easy on
my account. I hired out to work.

Well, for a new hand,
you're doing fine.

Hey, will you look at that?

Any man who sneaks away
from danger is a deserter.

In any army in the world,

he'd be put against
a wall and shot.

I no deserter, Mr. Adam.

I take long vacation.

Colonel Bragg... all time yell.

Head go boom, boom, boom.

Very bad.

Pa served with the colonel.

Old Fussed and Fuddled,
his men called him.

Pa even saved the
colonel's life one night

when he wandered
into the enemy lines.

I know. He tell me
same story 50 times.

Well, that makes it a privilege

to have him as a
guest in our house,

to keep his
valuables in our safe,

and to look after
his busted leg.

No privilege, Mr. Adam.

Just too much
dad-burned trouble.

Now, look, Hop Sing,
it's not just a privilege.

You see, the horse
the colonel fell from

when he busted his leg
was one that Pa sold him.

Now that makes it an obligation.

Hop Sing obligation?

Well, you're one of
the family, aren't you?

Just like me, Hoss
and Little Joe?

You too smart for me, Mr. Adam.

You say, I one of the family?

I cannot go.

I stay.

Colonel.

Benjamin, I still say you're
avoiding the main issue.

And that's a...

And that's an easy thing to do

when the duty is
an unpleasant one.

What do you consider
the main issue, Colonel?

These people are trespassers.

That's the main issue.

No matter what they say,

no matter what rights they
claim, they're trespassers.

And you've got to
treat them as such.

Well, how do you
go about doing that?

Remember your military training.

Assemble your facts,
make your decision,

and then proceed with vigor.

You order these people
off your land, Benjamin.

If they refuse, call
out your hands,

mount, ride and drive 'em off.

These people don't
think they're trespassers.

They think they own the land.

And with every reason.

They paid for it with
every penny they had.

They're trespassers.

They're stealing
your land. Thieves!

No, Colonel.

The man who sold them
land that wasn't his to sell...

He's the thief. These
people are victims.

Victims... I tell
you they're thieves.

I kind of go along with Pa.

What about you, Adam?

Victims.

These people aren't
thieves, Colonel.

They just trusted the
wrong man, that's all.

You're being
sentimental, soft, weak.

You can't take the troubles of
every man alive onto yourself.

These are tough-fibered people.

They've fought to get this
far, and they'll fight to stay.

Then fight.

Some of them would be killed.

You've got a right
to protect your land.

If they force you to it,
your hands are clean.

Some of us would be killed.

What comforts clean hands then?

There's risk from
the day a man's born.

True.

But I'm not gonna
add to that risk.

I'm not gonna turn
this into a range war.

We'll proceed legally.

I'll see my lawyer.

Meanwhile, if we can find

their money and
give it back to them,

the settlers might be more
inclined to listen to reason.

Adam, tomorrow morning,

why don't you ride
into Virginia City

and let the sheriff know
what's been happening.

Well, I was going with
Kip up to the north range

to look for strays, but I
guess he can go alone.

Oh, he should be
able; he's a good man.

Joe, the last we
heard of this man, Polk,

he was in Carson City.

Maybe you can cut his
trail there and follow it.

Right, Pa.

One of us should
really see the settlers

and try to get a line on Polk.

Hoss, why don't you do that?

Yes, sir.

Start on your land first.

My land?

Yeah, Horse Heaven.

Why them dirty,
no-good-for-nothing...

Ah, ah, ah.

You ought to see
your guests first,

before you use such language.

But I wouldn't give
them your right name.

They'll shoot anybody
named Cartwright just like that.

For a country loaded with deer,

you sure go a long
ways and never see one.

Moved to the high
mountains is my guess.

You'd think we get a
shot at least, but no.

Been out the best
part of three hours.

Ah, shut your whining.

I'm so hungry I
could eat a boot.

What are you
doing? That's a steer.

Well, it's food.

Must be a Ponderosa stray.

Well, it's liable to
be the only food

we'll get for a couple of days.

What's going on here?

You can see for yourself.

We've just shot a steer.

We're getting ready to
skin it out and butcher it.

That's Ponderosa beef.

You've got no right to it.

A hungry man's got a right
to the closest food, boy.

If you're hungry,
you can buy a beef

or you can ride
in and ask for it.

But you kill a steer
out here on the range,

and it's the same
as stealing it.

Don't call us thieves.

I don't know what
else to call you.

There's a dead beef, and
it doesn't belong to you.

What are you gonna do?

I'm gonna go back to the
ranch and tell the Cartwrights

exactly what I found out here.

I don't know what
they're gonna do about it,

but I've seen men hang for less.

You don't hang me.

Oh, you blasted fool.

Uncle Mike, I had to kill him.

You want me to hang for a steer?

Ah, no one was gonna hang you.

That was talk.

Now our fight for land

has turned into a
fight to stay alive.

Howdy, ladies.

I was just riding by,

and I thought I'd
stop in and say...

howdy.

Uh, whereabouts
is your men folk at?

We have no men folk.

We're unmarried ladies.

Who might you be?

Uh, my name is Hoss... Jones.

Yeah, that's my
name, Hoss Jones.

What do you want?

Well, my pa... What
I mean to say is, uh...

While I was nearby, I
thought maybe I'd stop in

and see if there was
something, uh, a man could do?

That depends on the man.

Do you know a Ben Cartwright?

Oh, yes'm,

it seems to me like I
have heard that name.

Worst black-hearted
scoundrel alive.

Yes'm.

I'm afraid right now I've
got to agree with, ma'am.

Just a little bit.

We warned about him by Mr. Polk.

Who's he?

Why, the nice gentlemen
that sold us this place.

Such a fine man.

Except for that one thing.

Yes.

Do you smoke, young man?

Oh, no, ma'am.

I chew a little bit
every once in a while.

Ugh.

Such a nice man.

How could he smoke
those big, nasty things?

All twisty.

Yeah, it's disgusting,
ain't it, ma'am?

A woman can always
tell a gentleman.

Doesn't your wife
say that, Mr. Jones?

Oh.

No wife, ma'am.

Then you can helps
us with those big logs.

It's no nice to
have a man around.

Especially a single man.

All in through there.

And they've plat maps as well
as deeds to the property, huh?

Well, the plats
aren't very accurate,

but they're close enough.

This fellow, Polk,
he must have known

the Tucker Creek side of
the Ponderosa pretty well.

He knew enough that we
didn't get over there very much.

How long you figure
they've been in there?

Two weeks, going on three.

How many families there?

Well, there's six
different outfits,

300 acres apiece.

And they all paid their last
dollar for worthless claims.

I don't like it, Adam.

A man will really fight

to hang on to what his
last dollar's bought for him.

Some will kill.

Well, that's all I need.

I'll get on the
telegraph right away

to Sacramento and San Francisco,

and I'll get back to you just
as soon as I hear anything.

All right, thanks, Roy.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Uh, he's a big man.

55 or 60, an average
kind of a man.

John Polk was his name.

He had a beard
and... A-Anything else?

He had a wife, too.

Good-looking woman.

Looked to be much
younger than he was,

but stunning, though.

And they stayed here?

Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeed.

They had our best
suite, as a matter of fact.

Mrs. Polk was a very
good-looking woman.

Yeah, so you said.

Uh, did they leave any
forwarding address of any kind?

No, no, they didn't.

Look, you have any idea
at all where they went?

No, I haven't.

Is there anybody in Carson
City who might have an idea?

No, I'm positive there's not.

Why positive?

Well, many people
would like to find him.

He left owing $1,000
in debts around town.

I'd say the man was a crook.

I think his wife was, too.

But she was a lovely woman,

absolutely stunning.

Yeah, yeah, so you said.

Now look, is there
anything else in particular

you can remember
about this man, Polk?

Oh, yes.

Yes, as a matter
of fact, there was.

He always struck his
matches across his posterior.

He what?

He smoked cigars.

He, uh, he always lit
his matches like this.

His wife didn't like
it much, though.

Didn't like what?

The gesture, uh... this.

- Oh.
- Oh, but she was a...

Stunning woman;
thank you very much.

Benjamin?

Colonel, I thought
you were napping.

Are you going into
Virginia City today?

Well, yes, Colonel, I am.

I'm gonna see our lawyer.

Anything you wanted?

Well, I thought you might
ask the doctor to come out.

I'd like to get this
splint off this leg.

I-I've been a
prisoner long enough.

Well, really, Colonel,

our guests don't usually refer
to themselves as prisoners.

Well, I didn't mean it
that way, Benjamin, I...

- Of course you didn't.

- It's just that I ought
to be on my way.

Well, I know it's hard for an
active man to be tied down,

but I can promise you Doc Martin

won't let you get out of
that splint for a while yet,

so you best grit your
teeth and enjoy your rest.

You didn't think I'd become
a fixture in your home

after you saved my life
ten years ago, did you?

I'm sure someone else

would have come along
to save your life, Colonel.

I'm still beholden to you.

I sold you the horse that threw
you when you broke your leg,

so I suppose I'm
beholden to you.

Nonsense; I fell off that horse.

Well, go along Benjamin.

I'll be all right.

Of course you will be.

Mr. Ben, Mr. Ben Where you go?

I'm going to Virginia City.

Do you need something?

I afraid for boy, Kip Taylor.

His horse come back without him.

Well, I'll go by the
north range and check.

I'll take his horse with me.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Who... who is he?

One of my hands.

What do you know
about this, boy?

Nothing, Mr. Cartwright...
Like you, I just seen it.

You see what happened?

Somebody was butchering
a steer, looks like.

Yeah.

Ponderosa steer.

And it looks to me like
Kip Taylor caught him at it,

and he just killed
him and left him here.

Why were you following me, boy?

My folks thought
it would be best

to know what you was up to.

They was afraid
what you might do

if you got men together.

I was gonna let 'em know.

You can let 'em know
something from me now.

You can tell 'em I want them
to gather at the Belrose place.

You can tell 'em
I'll meet them there.

You can say
that I'll be riding in

with only one man.

This one.

Here he comes!

Across that saddle lies
the body of one of my men.

He found someone
butchering a Ponderosa beef,

and that someone,
whoever it was,

shot him down.

I don't know who it
was that shot him down.

Could've been a stranger
who rode on out of the country

after the killing was done.

It could be.

Could also be the
killer is one of you.

If the killer is one of
you, it would be best

if you found them out and
turn them over to the law,

before all of you are blamed.

Thanks for the
advice, Mr. Cartwright.

It's good advice.

Kip Taylor's
relatives and friends

might want an eye for an eye,

and you're strangers here.

What started out as
a dispute over land

could turn, with this,
into a shooting war,

with more dead to
bury on both sides.

Well, what about our land?!

You can all stay
here, for a while.

All I ask is that
you don't build

and don't cut trees
and don't break sod.

We don't want your charity!

We want to build...
and cut and dig...

here, on this land,
land we paid for,

our land!

You think about all this.

Talk among yourselves,
decide what you want to do.

And remember, I'll help you
follow any sensible course.

But if you fight me,
I'll have to fight you.

You decide.

There's nothing to decide!

We've got to fight him now.

But why? Why must we fight?

To survive!

It doesn't matter now
who killed that man.

It doesn't matter now who
has the best claim to this land.

All that matters now
is root hog or die.

We came a long way...

Henri and I, to get
away from violence.

We don't want killing.

We move on.

Move on to where?

You got no money
to buy more land here.

You can't go on to free land.

Your animals and
your gear are beat out.

The season's gone; the
passes are full of snow.

It's this place or nothin'!

But there is a right and a
wrong to choose between.

Not for you, Belrose.

And not for you, Wheeler.

And not for any of us!

Men with several choices

can fret between what's
right and what's wrong,

but when there's only one
thing you can do to stay alive,

you got to call that
one thing "right"

and go ahead with it!

♪♪

♪♪

Hello, the house!

Is anyone home?

Hello in there!

Hello, the house!

Hello in there!

Is there anyone home?

Who are you? What do you want?

My name is Belrose.

I must talk to Mr. Cartwright.

He isn't here. Come
back some other time.

But it's quite important.

- I would like to wait.
- You come back.

The settlers are
in an ugly mood.

They are ready to fight.

I think Mr. Cartwright
should know.

I told you to come
back, now you're gonna

have to do what I tell you!

I know you.

Yes, of course, I know you.

The beard is gone, but
you are the man that...

Colonel! Colonel!

Colonel?

- Colonel, you're all right?
- Yes, of course.

- Have my boys come back yet?
- I'm all alone.

What in the world's wrong?

That... young Belrose.

One of the settlers...

He's dead. I just found his body

in a wagon about a
quarter of a mile from here.

And I've just taken
Kip Taylor's body

to his parents in Virginia City.

- Taylor dead?
- Murdered.

My boys aren't back yet, huh?

No. There's been no one here.

Even Hop Sing's off somewhere.

I've been alone all morning.

Why are you staring
at me like that?

Huh? Oh, I wasn't
staring, I was...

Belrose has a wife and a baby.

Now I'm gonna have to take
his body back to his widow.

Look, when my
sons get back here,

tell them that I want
them to stay here.

- Shouldn't they be with you?
- No. If they were with me,

someone might think that
I was out for more killing,

and I'm not.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

I bring you tragic
news, Mrs. Belrose.

Your husband lies
dead in that wagon.

I know.

Eddy came to tell me.

I found him...

in the wagon about a quarter
of a mile from my house.

I don't know...

how he got killed, and I
don't know who killed him.

He was going to your place.

He didn't want killing.

He hoped you will
know how to stop it.

He was going... to my house?

And now he lies dead.

Mrs. Belrose, I... I'll be back
and we'll talk again of this,

but... for the moment, please
accept my deepest sympathies

for yourself and the child.

Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.

♪♪

Tell me now that we don't
have to fight to stay alive,

and I'll tell you the
fight's already begun.

We don't know who killed Belrose

and we don't know who
killed the ranch hand.

I do.

My nephew Jacks here
killed Cartwright's ranch hand.

Jacks killed him?

Why didn't you speak up?

Why didn't you turn him in?

He's my sister's boy, and
I'm sworn to keep him safe.

Besides... he didn't kill
him out of meanness.

He was scared into it.

You know how he is.

I know it.

Killed that Indian crossing
the plains, being scared.

That darn near
got us all killed.

I didn't turn him over
to the Indians then

and I am not
turning him over now.

Same as then, this is a finish
fight and we need everybody.

We've got to let 'em
know we don't scare easy.

Then they'll leave us alone,

then they'll leave
us have our land.

A fight goes to him who
hits first and hardest.

Pa, you all right?

Colonel told us all about it.

Yeah, I'm all right.

You find out anything new?

Bits and pieces,
nothing definite.

Colonel... now, are you sure
there was no one here all day?

No, there was no one here.

And there was no one
moving around outside?

Well, I don't know about that.

I haven't been outside.

I've been sitting here all day.

Then, you didn't
go outside yourself?

I just told you I didn't.

Colonel, there's
mud on your sock.

Well, I-I may have gone outside
for a moment... a breath of air.

I-I can't be expected to...

Desk clerk told me Polk
used to light his cigars

by striking a match
on his trousers.

The old spinster ladies...

They, they told me
about his cigars, too.

Black and twisted.

Then you weren't
alone today, were you?

Comrade in arms,

old friend, guest in my house.

And now you know
how low a man can sink.

Belrose came here to see me

and recognized you as Polk,

the man who sold him our land.

Isn't that right, Colonel?

That's right.

And you killed him.

And I killed him.

The young wife...
Beautiful, greedy.

Spent all I had on her,
went head over heels in debt.

An old man making a fool of
himself over a young woman.

It isn't a new story, is it?

No, it isn't a new story.

But it's just what you
might have expected

of Old Fussed and
Fuddled, isn't it?

Oh, I knew what the men
thought of me, Benjamin,

not that I could blame them.

Never did anything
right in my life.

Got lost in the woods
at night, fell off horses.

Not a man, a fool.

Not a soldier, a clown.

Now she's gone, too.

When she found out
that I'd broken this leg,

she thought I'd botched
the whole deal on her,

ran off with another man.

I thought I could get away
with swindling these settlers.

I'd take their money and
you'd send them packing,

and that's all
there would be to it.

I didn't think there
would be any killing.

Where is the money, Colonel?

In the small satchel
in your study...

Every dollar of it.

Boys, hitch up a wagon...

The colonel and I are
going to return that money...

And saddle up your horses.

You'll ride along with us.

I wouldn't want
anyone getting the idea

of hanging the
colonel without a trial.

I didn't want to kill him,
Benjamin, but he recognized me.

You can't put a bullet back
in a gun once it's been fired.

You can't give a
father back to his child

once that father's been buried.

But you can pay
back part of the debt

by returning this money

and by facing up to the
law for what you've done,

so we'd better
get going, Colonel.

No, Benjamin, nobody's
gonna hang me,

trial or no trial.

You stand in my
way and I'll kill you.

What's become of you, Jonathan?

I warned you, Benjamin,
don't stand in my way.

You'd pull that trigger?

Don't try me, old friend.

I hate you.

You hate me?

You have always been the
better man, haven't you, Ben?

You've always had the
success, and I've had the failure.

You had the money and
the land and the family,

and I had nothing.

You even took over my
command when I was relieved.

I was following orders,
Colonel, you knew that.

For incompetence.

I was relieved for incompetence,
old comrade in arms.

You knew that.

Now I am going
to give the orders

and I'm going to tell you
what's going to happen.

I'm going to take that money and
I'm going to take your buckboard

and I'm getting out of here,

and if any of your
boys stand in my way,

there's going to be one
or more of them dead.

All right, Colonel.

There's your money.

My boys are hitching
up the buckboard.

You can start running,

but first you'll
have to kill me.

Will this money
change what you are?

Will killing me give you
the courage you lack?

'Cause if you think it will,

you'd better pull that trigger.

It isn't me you've hated
all this time, is it, Colonel?

It's you, yourself.

No matter how fast you run

or where you
hide, sooner or later

you're going to
have to face the truth

and live with yourself.

Give me that gun, Colonel.

Better do what we have to do.

Hyah!

They'll be coming
along this way.

Now, they're a weaker
party than we are

and we got surprise on our side.

I'll have no part of a
massacre, Sullivan.

Will you fight?

If they give us no choice,

but I got to see it's fight
or die before I shoot.

You'll see, ha.

Now, take the horses
around back and take cover.

I'll do the talking.

Whoa.

Judgment Day, Cartwright.

Here and now is where
we get things settled.

You're not going to
settle anything this way.

Look around you.

There's no need for this,
no need for any ambush.

That'll depend upon you.

We want clear title to our land.

The land is not yours.

You're getting your money back.

The money'll do us no good.

We haven't got
time to wait for it.

You don't have to
wait for your money.

I'm the man that called
himself John Polk.

- Colonel, sit down. Sit down.
- The money is here.

- Darn fool, do you want to...?
- And I killed Belrose.

I'll stand trial for it.

Give us the man who killed
Kip Taylor and the fight is ended.

The fight is done.

Jacks there is the man
that killed Kip Taylor.

Hold your fire.

Benjamin,

I couldn't put the bullet
back, but I, I stopped one.

I finally did something right.

Well, are we done with killing?

Yes, we are.

We'd be obliged to
have our money back,

but we'd rather you kept the
money and let us keep the land.

Sullivan, I can't do that.

We've got this land staked
out for other purposes.

Would you be willing
to take some land

on the other side
of the Ponderosa?

We would if we
could pay the price.

You know what?

I figure you, you could have
killed my three sons and me.

I guess you paid the price.

Mighty proud to have
you as neighbors.

Thank you, Hop Sing.

Dad-burn, I'm glad you didn't
catch that slow boat to China.

Thank you, Hop Sing.

Hey, I got the winner.

I guess you'll be
playing me, then.

The game is not over yet.

Oh, did you deliver that
lumber to the settlers?

Yeah, a wagonload to each place.

Good.

It's gonna be the difference
in them folks being warm

and comfortable this winter
and freezing to death, ain't it?

Mm-hmm.

Hey, Hoss, how'd you make
out with those schoolmarm ladies?

I understand one of
'em almost hogtied you.

Me?

Ha, I know how to handle
them female women.

I just told 'em that
I was a bachelor

and I was gonna stay a bachelor,

and there wasn't a dad-burned
thing they could do about it.

I told 'em I had promised
my dear old daddy

I was going to stay single.

Oh, is that what
you promised, huh?

Hey, Hoss, you
know, I didn't realize

you knew so much about women.

Ah, Joe, it's easy.

You just got to know
how to handle 'em.

I've learned that females is

pretty much the
same the world over,

whether they're a
horse or a woman.

You just got to
be firm with 'em.

Tell 'em what you want 'em
to do in no uncertain terms,

and, by golly,
they'll do it, hmm.

Right.

Oh, hey.

Well, ladies, what
brings you here?

Oh, well, we were
just passing by

and thought we'd
drop in for a minute.

Well, believe me,
it's our pleasure.

We're having a little
box social tonight and

we wondered if we could
persuade Mr. Hoss to attend.

Well, I, uh, I think
if you would ask him

in no uncertain terms...

by golly, I-I think he'd do it.

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