Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 12, Episode 7 - The Trouble with Trouble - full transcript

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Oh.

We cleaned up the tack room,
took the inventory,

restretched that section of fence.

Yeah, what about that gate?

I rehung that this morning,
even all the hinges.

And we stacked
and covered the winter feed.

We got nothing else to do.

Well, we still gotta
round up them strays

down in Cinnamon Canyon.



Well, we shouldn't round 'em up
for another week.

If we round 'em now,
they'll just stray again.

You're right.
We ain't got nothing to do.

That's what I said.

Howdy.

Anything I can do for you?

Yeah, looking to find Ben Cartwright.

He's right in the house.
I'm his son, maybe I can help.

If I wanted your help, I'd ask for it.

- I don't think I like him.
- No.

Ben Cartwright!

Open this door
and face me like a man!

I know I don't like him.

Ben Cartwright!



Ben Cartwright! I'm calling you!

Montana!

You son of a gun.

- How are you, Ben?
- Great, great, great.

My goodness, it's good to see you.
You haven't changed a bit.

Oh, still need a shave and a bath.

Yeah, you sure do.

All right, hold it.

What's the trouble, boys?

We heard him calling out there.

We thought we'd come in
and see what the trouble was.

This is an old friend of mine.

I've told you all him.
This is Montana Perkins.

Oh...

I'll be danged.

Montana, this is my son, Joseph.

- How are you? Sorry.
- And Hoss.

- Hi.
- Hoss.

And this our chief cook
and bodyguard, Hop Sing.

Pleased to meet you.

Pa's told us a whole lot
about Montana Perkins.

Well, he might've left a few things out.

For one, they, uh...
they don't call me Montana anymore.

No.
I'm the Reverend Carl Perkins now.

A Reverend? You a preacher then?

- Are you a preacher?
- Are you surprised?

Well, yes, a little bit.

Faith doesn't always come
in a pretty package.

When He called me to do his work,
He didn't ask me how I dressed

or what my manners were like.

All He wanted to know
was how strong I believed.

And sometimes a man's not the best
judge of his own salvation.

Like they say,
"The way is hard, and the road's long,

"and none of us
are gonna get out of this alive."

That's for sure.

Got two fine looking boys, Ben.

Yeah.

Come on, sit down.

Well, what brings you out this way?

Looking for somebody to wear that.

I heard that Joe Walters
lives somewhere east of here.

And I remember that big man
could stare down a whole town.

Haven't seen Joe around
for quite a while.

- Did you find him?
- Yeah.

Sitting on his porch in the sun
with his hands all knotted up,

grandkids swarming around his feet.

Yeah, well, we're all getting older.

True, true,
but some are getting older than others.

And I'm coming back
empty-handed again.

Now if I could just find somebody.

Even somebody temporary
would be a big help.

Every day the law's not there,
that town sinks a little deeper.

Well, if it's just something temporary,

I mean,
till you can get somebody else...

Just, just, just...

Oh, I've been a sheriff before,
I've had experience.

Of course you've had experience,
doing what?

Looking after the office
for a couple of days?

Well, this is just temporary.

Besides, I ain't got nothing
to do around here.

- Now, look, Hoss.
- Now wait a minute, Ben.

Why, Hoss?

Oh...

Let's just say that it's one step up
that long, hard road for me.

Baloney. You just wanna
get out of the cattle drive.

Yeah, don't forget,
roundup is in two weeks.

Just temporary, Pa.

How long
you been looking for a sheriff?

Off and on, two years.

- What do they call this place?
- Trouble.

No, I mean the name of the town.

That's the name of it, Trouble.

Why would anybody
wanna name a town Trouble?

You'll find out.

I suppose you told them
all about New Orleans.

- Uh, well, part of it, part of it.
- Yeah.

How about that business in Wichita?

Well, uh...

Well, anyway,
there was this girl named Alice.

We called her Alice from Dallas
by way of San Antonio.

I didn't think they'd be interested.

Well, sure we are, loved to hear it.

Well, yeah, Pa,
you never did tell us about her.

Well, there was nothing to tell!

Nothing to tell?

- Montana.
- Oh... yeah.

Well, been nice
seeing you again, Ben.

And it's sure been a pleasure
meeting your boys.

- Good to see you again.
- Take care.

- You ready, Hoss?
- Yup.

Hey, brother, while you're gone,

I'll see if I can find out about Alice
from Dallas by way of San Antonio.

Yeah.

Take it easy, Pa, I'll see you.

Take care of yourself.

That sure is a funny name
for a town, isn't it?

Dallas?

No, not Dallas. Trouble.

Oh. It's only a name.

Probably just like any other town.

I'm gonna put that window
you just broke on your daddy's bill.

You hear me?

Tom, come here,
somebody I want you to meet.

Ain't got time now, Reverend,
got customers waiting.

Tom's the head of our town council,

only not during business hours.

Well, you hungry, Hoss?

I could do with a bite.

They serve a pretty good steak
down at the saloon.

Why don't you run on down there,

and I'll round up the sheriff
and the judge

and a couple of others
you wanna meet and come on later.

Sounds fine. See you later.

Hello, there.

Oh. Howdy.

Wanna buy me a drink?

I got steak dinners ready,
what do you want?

I'll have a steak dinner.

And bring the lady a glass of water.

You're a real big spender, ain't you?

Well, that all depends.

How much do you get
for a glass of water around here?

What's your name, big fella?

Folks call me Hoss.

My name is Lily. You like it?

Well, yeah, yeah.

It's real pretty, it fits.

Well, thank you.

I picked it out of a book.

My real name is Ethiopia,

but, uh, it don't go with the outfit.

- Oh, the outfit fits, too.
- But just barely.

All right, one steak dinner.

And a glass of water.

Yeah, bring her a shot of good whiskey
to chase that with.

We ain't got any good whiskey.
Runs from bad to worst to rotgut.

Well, bring her bad
if that's the best you got.

I'm telling you, Lily,

does he serve you real whiskey?

Well, what difference does it make?

It looks like whiskey,
it costs just the same.

I drink it, and you pay for it.

Lily, tell me...

what's a girl like you
doing in a nice place like this?

Just trying to make ends meet.

The Brodie brothers are coming!
The Brodie brothers are coming!

Ha!

Boy, he sure knows
how to clear a place out, don't he?

Well, most folks come in here
for a drink.

The Brodie brothers come in
to pick fights with strangers.

Ha! There ain't no strangers left.

What do they do in a case like that?

Well, one of 'em stands out front
and throw 'em in off the street.

And you'd better go
before they get here.

I ain't finished my steak yet.

Now, look, you come back later.
We'll have our drink then.

- Whoa.
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!

Well, well, well, well, look who's here.

You ain't paid for last time yet.

Total breakage was $3.12.

Pay him, Rev.

Well, just so you know
the rules, partner.

Anything goes, biting,
kicking, gouging, choking.

But no knives and no guns.

Well, fellers,
I ain't through with my steak yet.

Bartender, bring 'em
a round on me. Rotgut.

Sit down, boys,
this'll only take a minute.

Well, my name's Matthew.

And that's Mark, and he's Revelation.

What happened to Luke and John?

Well, Ma took one look at him
and then at us.

Figured she'd had enough,
so she skipped to the back of the book.

Yeah.

Hey, Chip!

The Brodie brothers
are over at the saloon.

So?

One feller didn't get out in time.

Christian in with the lions.

A great big fella,
it's gonna be a whale of a fight.

Why are you telling me?

I thought you might wanna watch.

They's four of them there, see?

I took out the two big guys
on this end there.

And old Mark,
he grabbed that fat guy with the beard.

And old Rev here,

he laid into that big old boy
on the other end.

And when Rev lays hold to 'em,
a man knows he's been laid hold of.

- I'll bet.
- Oh, wasn't nothing.

I just took 'em to the floor
and put the choke on him.

His tongue comes out like this
and his lips turn blue

and his eyes roll back in his head.

It took two of us to pull him off there.

Fun, huh?

Fun? I should smile to tell you.

Yeah, why?

Make way for the deputy!
Make way for the deputy!

You ain't gonna stop it, are you?

Get those boys mad at me?
Not on your little tin drum.

I think we better hurry up!

Let me through here.
Let me through. Let me through there.

If you want good seats, come early.

Yeah, I reckon you always won.

99 times out of a 100.

Yeah.

Well, maybe that's why
you thought it was so much fun.

How much do I owe the firm?

- 75 cents, sir.
- Fine. Here.

You keep the change.

- Judge.
- Oh, Reverend.

- I want you to meet Hoss Cartwright.
- Your Honor.

And now, folks,
I want you to meet up with the man

who's going to be our new sheriff.

Welcome to Trouble, Mr. Cartwright.

Now let's go over to the office,
and I'll swear you in.

I'm beginning to see
what you mean about this town.

Do you swear to uphold the law?

I do, sir.

Well, I guess that's just about
everything, Sheriff Cartwright.

And if there's anything else
you need to know,

our deputy here, Chip Chesterfield,
he'll give you the answers.

And if you need me,
well, you know where to find me.

Yes, sir.
No, as a matter of fact, I don't.

Well, you just ask anybody
and they'll tell you.

- Ah.
- And if you need any help at all...

you know who you can turn to.

Yeah.

- Uh... who can I turn to?
- Absolutely nobody.

They're not bad people, Hoss.

They just don't care
about anybody or anything,

except themselves.

- Can we change that?
- Possibly.

But first, I gotta get their attention.

Well...

Seems like a pretty peaceful
little, old town.

At times.

Chip, how come
they didn't make you sheriff?

It's too temporary.
I been a deputy here 12 years.

And I've seen 15 sheriffs come and go
for one reason or another,

mostly the other.

Trailhands.

Out of that herd
on its way to San Francisco.

Yeah.

Well, I think I'll mosey over,

and let 'em know
the law is alive and around.

Well, that might be bad for business.

They'll call us when they need us.

Come on, Chip.

Well, it's too early yet.

I said, come on.
Now, let's go. Come on.

All right, boys, break it up!

I said, break it up!

Hey! Break it up! You hear me?

Hey!

What's the matter
with these people anyhow?

First you gotta get their attention.

It's a draw! It's a draw!

All bets are off.

- Get their guns.
- How?

Like that.

Chip, get their attention.

All right, boys,
you're all under arrest.

For what?

- For disturbing the peace.
- Now wait a minute, Sheriff.

They wasn't disturbing
nobody's peace.

They're just having a little fun.

You call that fun?

Well, it wasn't hurting nobody
but each other.

They was disturbing the peace!

Now this is my place!

And I'll say who's disturbing
the peace here and who's not!

And I ain't pressing no charges!

I told you
it was still a little bit early.

Come on, Chip, let's go.

Yee-haw!

I don't know what they want
with a sheriff around here

if they ain't gonna let him do his job.

They'll let you do your job, Hoss,
when they're good and ready.

Yeah, but what if I wanna do it
when I'm good and ready?

They just don't do things that way
around here.

But the law's the law anywhere.

Anywhere but here.

- Howdy, Hoss.
- Howdy, boys.

Hey, that's quite a bruise
you're sporting there.

That there was an accident.

No, they ain't nothing accidental
about that.

Yes, they was,
that's why we just called you over here

to show you that it was!

You boys don't want any more of that.

- First time was for fun.
- But now we got a grudge.

Oh.

I'll be with you in a minute, Chip.

You already know the rules now.

You ready?

Ah, get them other two, Chip,
when they wake up.

Oh, Hoss,
it won't do no good to lock 'em up.

Chip, do like I tell you.

What are you locking us up for?

For assaulting a peace officer.

We weren't assaulting nobody,
and that's the fact.

We had a grudge against you.

Boy, some people get mad
over least little thing.

Hey. What's the matter,
what are you thinking about?

Oh...

Just wondering what Hoss was up to.

I'm sure he's doing all right.

Well...

I shouldn't have let him go.

Oh, now, come on. He's a big boy, Pa.
He can take care of himself.

Yeah, I know.

Guess that no matter
how much older you boys get,

I still think of you as my little boys.

Guess I always will.

Look, if you wanna ride over
and see how he's making out.

Would you like that?

Yeah. Yeah, I guess I would.

Okay.

This ain't such a quiet,
little town after all.

You get a few minutes of peace
every day, about sundown.

Gives the day people a chance
to get in their houses,

and the night people a chance
to come out and mow their rocks.

Look here, Chip,
you've been here for 12 years.

Now, how come you ain't done
something about it?

I guess a man kind of gets used to
people telling him what to do.

Not a lawman.

People don't tell a lawman what to do.

They tell him what they think is right
and what they think is wrong,

then he takes over from there.

Yup. That sounds good, Hoss.

But doing it ain't easy.

Well, I didn't say it was.

Well, I guess it's time.

Eh, it's time for what?

Go down to Slim,
pick up those trail hands.

Uh, them boys
is disturbing the peace now, Sheriff.

Well, what are they doing?

Well, what difference does it make?

I'm a citizen and a taxpayer,
and I'm making a complaint!

Them boys are disturbing the peace!

They ain't doing nothing now
they wasn't doing a while ago!

So?

So what do you want 'em
arrested now for?

They ain't got any money now,
get 'em out of here.

Get their guns!

Get their attention again, Chip.

All right, boys, you're under arrest.

That goes for you, too, bubba.

Oh, no, no, no, not him.

He's still got some money left.

Yeah, I got me
a whole bagful of... gold?

It's gone!

Uh, Lily.

Now, Hoss,
I wouldn't do a thing like that.

I may be pretty, but I'm still honest.

Why, underneath all this,
I got a heart as gold.

Yeah, and somewhere underneath
all that, you got a bag of gold.

Now give it back to him.

Go on.

All right, boys, follow me.
Bring up the rear, Chip.

This court is now in order.

Let's have the prisoners.

Drunk and disorderly,
disturbing the peace

and causing a public nuisance,
$5 apiece.

Put the money on the desk and get out.

The mills of the gods do not grind
exceedingly slow in this town.

Yeah. You can say that again.

Mine, yours, the town's.

Goes in the safe over there.

Your Honor, as long as you're here...

Well, what did they do?

These men started a fight with me.

Is that all?

Well, Your Honor,
these men are charged

with assaulting an officer of the law.

We wasn't assaulting an officer.
We just fighting with Hoss.

- Well, that's the same difference.
- Now don't interrupt, Sheriff.

You made the charge,
now let him answer it.

We's just settling up
a grudge with Hoss.

It's between him and us.

It had nothing to do with the law
or him being an officer.

Then you didn't intend
the law no harm.

Oh, no, sir.

We just wanted to whup Hoss.

That being the case, not guilty.

Run along, boys.

Your Honor, these fellas attacked me!

It was between you and them.

And the law is not here
to settle your personal matters.

- But Your Honor...
- They were not mad at the law, Sheriff.

They were mad at you.

All right, they're guilty of assault
and battery then.

Well, possibly. But that isn't
what you charged them with.

Now don't forget the letter
of the law, Sheriff.

I won't forget the letter of the law
if you don't forget the intent.

Even a sheriff can be charged
with contempt.

Run along, boys.

- Thanks a lot, Uncle Jess.
- See you Sunday.

Matthew, tell your mother
I'll be there about the usual time.

Yes, sir, Uncle Jess.

Good afternoon, Sheriff.

- Your Honor...
- Yes?

- Judge?
- Yes?

I know this is
maybe a ridiculous question, but...

Them three boys,
they're your nephews?

Yes, that's right.

Their mother is my baby sister.

Ah.

But you knew they was guilty.

Well, yes, of course, I did.

Then how come you let 'em go?

Well, for a very simple reason.

If they went to jail,
it'd break their mother's heart.

- Oh.
- Good afternoon, Sheriff.

I tried to tell you.

Wouldn't do any good
to arrest those boys.

Yeah.

I'm beginning to understand
how this town got its name.

It could be worse.

Yeah, I reckon it could.

It could be raining, all day, every day.

He is a little animal,

and somebody has to teach him
some manners.

Don't call my son a little animal.

He at least bathes now and then,

which is more
than I can say about yours!

My son is the cleanest boy
in the second grade.

- And the oldest.
- Ladies...

Well, he wouldn't be if yours
ever got out of the first grade.

Ladies...

Oh, you keep out of this.

Mama! Mama, he hit me!

Oh! Oh!

Sheriff, I want you
to arrest that bully!

You lay a hand on my son,

and you will have the devil
to pay and me to reckon with.

Which is one and the same.

Ladies, ladies, please, please.

He picked up a rock
and deliberately broke that window,

and you're gonna pay for it.

He wasn't throwing at that window.
He was throwing at you.

And I ain't gonna pay for anything
he broke accidental.

And if you don't like it,

I'll just take my business
somewhere else.

Your credit
ain't no good nowhere else.

Ha, we'll see about that.

Meanwhile, you can put this on my bill.

I've already done it,
along with that broken window.

Ha, you'll be a long time
collecting for that.

That's nothing new.

I'm a long collecting
for anything from you.

Hey, Tom, Tom!
Don't put that on the street like that.

Why? Ain't no law against it.

You make such a mess.

There's no mess here that already is.

How come you don't haul it
out of town or something?

Take too much time.

Well, hire somebody to do it for you.

It costs too much money.

All right, I'll just get a law
passed against it, that's all.

We'll talk about that
the next time the town council meets

in about six months.

Trouble is, them that make
the biggest messes,

also pass the laws.

Hey, Sheriff.

Some guy been sneaking around town
all morning.

- He's over at the bank, in that alley.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.
- Thanks.

Don't move.

Anything you say, Hoss.

What are you doing here, Joe?

Keeping an eye on things for you.

It's a good thing I am.
You know who just went in the bank?

- I give up. Who?
- The whole Clanton Gang.

I swear to you, they just went in there.

- That's what I've been watching.
- Scoot over.

- What do you think?
- That's him, all right.

Real good to see you boys again.

It's a pleasure
doing business with you, Jethro.

The pleasure is mine, sir. All mine.

You know who that was?
That was Jack Clanton.

Well, of course,
he's my biggest depositor.

Checking and savings.

You know where he gets his money?

Nope, never asked, and he never said.

- Oh, I'm not surprised.
- It's none of my business.

And it's none of yours.

Well...

What do you think of that?

I think the more I see of this town,

the more I see
why they need some law and order.

Yeah.

Come on.

Chip, guess who's in this town?

The Clanton Gang.

Why, I know that.

Well, let's go arrest them then.

- For what?
- For bank robbery.

Where?

Only one I know for sure is Reno.

It against the law in California
to rob a bank in Nevada.

- It ain't?
- Or Arizona.

Or New Mexico. Or Colorado.

Or even Oklahoma.

You mean, them Clantons
ain't wanted for nothing

here in California?

Why, they don't even spit
on the street here.

They're little angels.

One of 'em's even been
known to go to church on Sunday.

Wait a minute. You mean
nobody in this whole town cares

who they are or what they've done?

Not as long as they pay their bills,

tip heavy, and don't bother nobody.

I don't understand these people.

Well, look, you wanna be smart?

Take the badge off, put it on the desk.

Let's go get your horse
and get out of here.

- Not yet, Joe.
- These people don't care.

Well, I do. And it bothers me,
and I'm gonna do something about it.

How do you feel about it, Chip?

I been a lawman 12 years,

and I don't like what's going on
in this town.

But there's nothing I can do about it.

You ever try?

I did, a number of times.

And people complained that what
I was doing was bad for business.

As fast as I could pick 'em up,
they'd turn 'em loose.

What would you say if I was to tell you
we gonna put this town in order?

I'd say you had rocks for brains.

But I'd back you all the way.

Good.

Joe.

As of now, you're a deputy. $2 a week.

I don't think I want the job.

Now come on, Joe,
I'm gonna need all the help I can get.

All right, I still think
you're making a mistake.

Hoss, I just came in to tell you that...

That the Clanton Gang's in town.

Yeah, but I think
you also ought to know...

That everybody in town
don't give a hoot one way or another.

- Yeah. Beside that...
- I better stay out of their way.

- But I'm afraid that you're not...
- I won't take that advice.

So I came to offer my help.

Yeah, thanks.

Of all the towns in the whole world

for you to take up preaching in
and preach the gospel,

why did you choose this one?

Well, Hoss, I figured
as long as I was fishing

for the souls of sinners,

I might just as well fish
where the big ones are.

Well...

Well, let's go out there

and see if we can put a couple
on our hooks.

And just how do you intend doing that?

Well... first,
I gotta get their attention.

Preacher, since you don't wear a gun
or a badge,

you keep your eye on the Clantons
after you send that telegram.

Chip, you go on over to the bank.

Don't make a move
till you hear from me.

Right.

Folks in this town
have been using the law

for their own convenience too long.

They gotta learn
that it works 24 hours a day

and it's equal for everybody.

There he is now.

So what, there he is,
what are you gonna arrest him for?

Anything. Come on.

No, no, Eben, not like that.

Jab with the left
and swing with the right.

Jab with the left
and swing with the right.

That's the way.

Jab with the left, swing with the right.

Uh, Judge,
what'd you just tell that boy?

Jab with the left
and swing with the right, why?

Uh-huh, that's what I thought you said.

You're under arrest
for inciting a riot, Your Honor.

- A what?
- A riot.

Joe, get these boys
for public brawling for inciting a riot.

- Sheriff, you can't do this.
- Come on, boys, you're under arrest.

For what?
We were just settling our differences.

Well, that's not the way to do it.

That's the way everybody else does it.

- Not anymore.
- Since when?

- Since now.
- Says who?

- Says me. Let's go.
- Oh.

I happen to be the judge here
and a model citizen of this town,

- and I'm telling you you cannot do this.
- Mm-hmm.

It's frame-up trumped-up charge,
and you can't make it stick.

Mm-hmm. But it is the letter of the law,
ain't it?

It'll be thrown out of court.

- Yeah, probably.
- And what's more?

Just who's going to try this case
with me in jail?

Oh, I'll probably have to go
get the circuit judge.

It may take him two or three weeks
to get here.

Two or three weeks?

I want my mama.

I'll see what we can do
about that, Pete.

Well, didn't I tell you boys
that fighting was wrong?

No.

- I didn't?
- No.

Well, didn't anybody tell you?

No.

Oh, I see.

I am sick and tired of you
and your whole family.

My! I want you to know that my family
is one of the oldest in town.

Well, I always said
you looked young for your age.

- Ladies...
- My age?

I don't know who paints your face,

but whoever it is does a beautiful job
and ought to sign his work.

- Ladies...
- Oh, you keep it out of this.

I just wanted to tell you that...

My face is not painted.
This is my natural color.

Then why does it come off
on your collar?

You're under arrest
for creating a public disturbance.

- Lock 'em up, Joseph.
- Oh!

Ladies. Ladies, right this way, please.

Oh.

Lock 'em up.

Let's go, move.

Well, that's that.

Sheriff, could I have a word with you?

Not right now, Judge, I'm a little busy.

- Well, at your convenience.
- Yeah.

Joe, you'll have to look after things
while I'm gone.

- Yeah, you be careful.
- I will, don't worry.

Did you send the telegram?

Sent it and got an answer,
they'll be waiting.

- Good. They in there?
- Yeah.

Ha, ha.

Would you mind if I had a little talk
with the prisoners

while you're gone?

Go right ahead.
I think they'll be in a mood to listen.

Bank's just been robbed.
I need a posse.

That's our money in the bank.
Come on, boys.

He must have eyes like an eagle.

I can't see a sign of their tracks.

Well, this is it.

Here, this is where they're at?

Well, this is where
I'm arresting the bank robbers.

And that's you, Jack Clanton.
You're under arrest.

Can't do that, Sheriff.
We ain't wanted in California.

We ain't been in California
for about the last five minutes.

We're in Nevada.

Uh, yes,
but you're a California sheriff,

and you've got no authority in Nevada.

That's right.

All right, boys, come on out!

Look around you, Jack.

Boy, am I glad to see you, Pa.

I'm kind of relieved
to see you, too, son.

There for a while, I didn't know
whether I was leading 'em

or they was chasing me.

Here's that list of banks
that were robbed.

Good, now give me
them bank books.

Very good.

Pa, I'll see you. Thank you much.

I know all of you.

And you're all for the law 100%,

just as long as it applies
to the other fella.

And that brings up the question,

is the law the master
or the servant of the people?

- We're closed!
- Yeah, wait a minute.

Here's, uh, Clanton's bank books.

And here's a list of the banks
he robbed and how much they took.

Now you see to it that
that money's put where it belongs

or I'm gonna arrest you
for receiving stolen property.

That ought to be good for ten years.

- I'll take care of it right away.
- Yeah, I would.

And there'll be a federal marshal
by next week.

Make sure it's done properly.

You've all been living
by your own set of rules

for a long time now.

But from now,
you're gonna live by a different set.

The ones in here.

Hoss, I'm...

I'm obliged to you.

It's been a long time
since I liked being a lawman.

Ha! Well, Chip,
a feller's gotta work at it.

The Brodie brothers are coming.

Dad-burn it!
Will them fellers ever give up?

Hoss, let me handle this.

Well, be my pleasure. Go right ahead.

And you're all
pointing your fingers at everybody else.

Well, you better
start cleaning up your own house

before you tell the other fella
his is dirty.

You about through, Reverend?

All finished, Hoss.

Well, Judge,
I reckon you've learned your lesson

about the letter of the law.

So I'm gonna let you go now.

The law says...

I've been charged.

I demand a trial.

You do?

Even if I have to conduct it myself.

This court is now in session.

I, uh...

I find you all guilty
of various and sundry charges.

Anybody got anything to say
before I pass sentence?

Well, the sentence is

ten days at hard labor...

including me.

And anybody
who isn't out on that street

helping to clean up this town
at eight o'clock tomorrow morning

is going to jail for 30 days.

- You can let 'em go, Sheriff.
- Yes, sir. Right away.

Reverend, that was a great sermon.

I was just getting started, Judge.

Well, you just pick up on Sunday
where you left off,

and I'll be in the first row.

Hey, did you see the boys?

- Yeah, I saw 'em.
- Yeah?

I told 'em to go home
and not come back to town

till they could learn how to behave.

Is that a fact? What happened?

Well, nothing special.

But I think they'll probably go home
when they wake up.

Hey, hey...

Good for you, Chip.

- Well, Joe, you ready to go home?
- All set, let's go.

Wait a minute.

You can't go.

If you leave now,
what'll happen to this town?

Why, Judge, I don't think
anything's gonna happen to this town

that your new sheriff here
can't take care of.

- Hoss.
- Reverend.

- Joe.
- Take care.

- Thank Ben for me.
- Will do. Let's go, Joe.

Hey, Sheriff, I almost forgot.

Ah, keep it for a souvenir.

Remember Trouble.

We ain't likely to forget it soon.

Adiós.