Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 11, Episode 9 - Meena - full transcript

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You know, I used to
enjoy coming to Lynchville.

This time I been here an hour

and I'm already ready
to head back to the ranch.

- There's not much happening, is there?
- There never is.

Anybody know why they decided
to call this place Lynchville?

Yeah. Fella at the livery stable said
it's 'cause they couldn't afford a sheriff

and they figured with that name
they'd keep all the undesirables away.

Yeah, along with everybody else.

Whoa.

Why don't you go on down
and saddle the horses?



- I just remembered something I forgot.
- Need some help?

No, no, no, you go
ahead. I'll be with you.

Oh, oh, oh, I nearly forgot.

- What?
- Something I gotta do. You go on.

- Well, I don't mind waitin'.
- No, no, no, no.

It's all right. I'll
catch up with you.

Hi. I'm back.

I think I got everything
just about ready for you.

Papa's gonna love that chair.

You get the wrapping on
that chair. I'll get the flour.

Yes, ma'am.

Hi. I'm Joe Cartwright.

Why?

- Why what?
- Why are you telling me?



Well, I thought you
might be a little interested.

- Let me give you a hand with that, huh?
- Oh, thanks.

Her name's Wilhelmina Calhoun.

- Save you the trouble of asking.
- Thanks.

She and her pa's got a goldmine
out in the desert south of here.

Whereabouts south?

Nobody knows. Plenty of
'em tried to find out, though.

Yeah, she comes in to town about
every three or four months to get supplies.

Got this chair out of a
catalog from Chicago.

Been waiting here for
her for three months.

Sure be much obliged to you if you'd
help me get this thing on the wagon.

Help you, Miss...?

- Calhoun.
- Calhoun.

Calhoun? That was my
grandmother's maiden name.

And if I'd said my name
was MacGillacuddy?

Well, then, that would have been
my grandmother's maiden name.

Actually, I'm not too
sure what her name was.

Wagon's all loaded. Be
happy to drive you home.

I can manage. Yah!

She's quick.

She likes me.

How can you tell?

She caught me in a lie.

Nothing a woman likes
more than a charmin' liar.

Although don't ask me why.

As a matter of fact, I
really think she likes me.

- Come on, you're kidding.
- No, I'm serious.

I'll bet you a bottle of sarsaparilla
and a bucket of snow to cool it

that I get a date with
her before you do.

That girl is sure pretty.

And rich too.

I thought we were
gonna follow her.

Virgil.

We gotta let her
get a good start.

We can't let her
see us on her trail.

Sure be nice to
have all that gold.

There you go, counting your chickens
before you even found the henhouse.

Oh, we'll find it. I'll
lead you right to it.

I can track a bluebird
across a empty sky.

How come the last
place we was fired,

the foreman said you couldn't find
a stray if it was sittin' in your lap?

Are we gonna kill 'em, Jesse?

More than likely.

Well, that's... that's
where she left the road.

Yeah, there's a lot of dry
country up ahead there.

- Oh, yeah.
- Hardly seems worth it just for a girl.

No. Let's forget it.

Let's forget it, huh?

I think I'll ride on over to Juniper
Springs and look for strays.

Yeah, good idea. I'll... I'll meet
you back at the ranch, huh?

Yeah.

- Take care.
- Yeah.

Miss Calhoun?

Uh, buenos días, amigo.

Dónde es la señorita?

I don't know. When she comes
into town, I meet her at the old barn.

She drives in, she gives
me a dollar, then I drive out.

Sometimes I come this
way and sometimes that way.

I don't know where she goes.

Grac... Uh, thanks.

How you doin'?

Howdy, neighbor.

- Hot day, ain't it?
- It sure is.

Hey, I seen you
in Virginia City.

You're one of the Ponderosa
Cartwrights, ain't you?

That's right, Joe Cartwright.

What you doin' out here?

It's kind of hard to believe, but I
was looking for a girl. Didn't find her.

I'll bet you're fit to be tied.

Yeah.

Well, the girl outsmarted
us, but we still got Cartwright.

I got a little mixed up.
But I can still find that girl.

Couldn't find a stinkweed
if it was in your mustache.

Well, Cartwright's pa'll
pay to get him back.

We just ride to the Ponderosa,
hand old man Cartwright that gun belt,

and say, "It proves
we got your boy.

Cost you 5,000 dollars,
you want him back."

But what if he don't
want him back?

The way I heard it, them Cartwrights
get along. They like each other.

Sounds more like
friends than family.

- Jesse, I got a "what if" for you.
- What?

What if old man Cartwright grabs the
one rides in with that gun belt and says,

"All right, I got one of yours,
you got one of mine, let's trade"?

Wouldn't do it.

Well, then, you're gonna
have to get somebody else

to ride in with that gun belt.

Well, we just
leave it on the porch

with a note telling him
where to bring the money.

And when he does, then
we turn Joe Cartwright loose.

Maybe, Virg. But just maybe.

Why don't we just take his horse
and his gear over to Arizona and sell it?

There's a easy 100 dollars.

- All the way to Arizona?
- Arizona.

- For 100 dollars?
- 100 dollars.

100 dollars ain't a whole
lot of money. You know that?

100 dollars is a whole lot
more money than we got now.

- It's a long way from 5,000 ain't it?
- Yeah.

- Jesse? Jesse?
- What?

Um, maybe we
better sell the horse,

on account of
Cartwright... just escaped.

Why, you skunkhead.

He couldn't have got far.

All right, Virg, that way. Owen.

Cartwright's got a gun, Jesse!

All right, hold it!

Stop firing, both
of you! Hold it!

- Come on up here!
- Uh-oh.

He ain't got no gun.

His hands are tied.

Are you two trying
to wipe out the family?

I'm sure sorry, Jesse.

Come on.

- I want you to look out there.
- He ain't out there.

If he was out there,
we could see him.

He's somewhere behind us
in them rocks, he's gotta be.

And we're gonna find him, boys,
if it takes all day and all night.

Jesse. Jesse, I been thinkin'.

Maybe we just ain't cut
out for this line of work.

Hello!

Hey!

Hey, wait!

Hey! Hey, wait!

Wait!

Hey, stop!

I know it's silly of me,

but for a minute there I didn't
think you were gonna stop.

Neither did I. Get in.

Thank you.

Oh, yeah. Thanks a lot.

What are you doing out here
anyway? Figured you be home by now.

Why? I left after you did.

No, we followed you out of town.

That's the best way to
keep people from finding you,

leave after they
start following you.

- Oh.
- Yah!

I don't think we're
gonna find him, Jesse.

Well, not alive, we ain't.

Kind of saves us the trouble.

You know, for someone
who keeps braggin'

about how good
he is at trackin',

I don't see how you could lose a
full-size man out here in this nothin'.

It's a big desert. There's
boulders out there...

- Boulders.
- And canyons.

- And canyons.
- Sure are.

You shut up and stay out of
this. You ain't been no help neither.

Well, I told you I was sorry.

Just I never had to keep
anybody prisoner before.

I should have known better.

Ridin' night watch, you lost
half the herd, got us all fired.

Hey, look at how fast
our tracks are fillin' up.

It's no wonder Owen
lost Cartwright's trail.

He's right, Jesse. Another
two, three hours, they'll be gone.

Don't you tell me you ain't
gonna be able to find the way back.

- You ain't tellin' me that, are you?
- No.

All we gotta do is just head right
for those mountains right over...

Well, they kind of
moved, or we did.

But them's the ones
we want, right there.

You better be right.

Now, lookee here, we
can still get that money.

We'll ride into Virginia City and
drop off this gun belt with a note.

Give his horse a drink
of water, turn him loose.

How come he gets
the water and I don't?

- 'Cause he's a dumb animal.
- He ain't so dumb.

He's the one gettin' the water.

This outlawing's harder
work than working.

And for less money. We ain't
had a payday since we started.

There's a big reason for that.

You two just can't remember
to do what you're told.

Jesse, I been thinking.

Maybe... if we rounded up
them two Bar T steers I lost,

old Ed'd give us our jobs back.

The man told ya,

he didn't wanna see the likes of
us in his part of the state again.

That's what I'm talking about,
what you're doing right now.

You can't keep your
minds on your work.

Now, here we got 5,000
dollars practically in our hands,

and you talk
about a two-bit job.

Now, we been bearing
north most of the day.

Virginia City ought to
be straight west of here.

Right.

And a little bit south.

You better hope you know
what you're talkin' about.

Whoa, whoa.

Howdy.

- What'd you bring him here for?
- I couldn't leave him out there.

He would have died.

Now that you brung him here,
what are we gonna do with him?

Papa, you're talking like
he's some sort of a lizard,

you're wondering what
we're gonna feed him

and which drawer
I'm gonna keep him in.

I wouldn't mind so
much if he was a lizard.

My name's Joe Cartwright.
Sorry I'm not a lizard.

That remains to be seen.

- Really friendly fella.
- Are you a friend of his?

- No, I just met him.
- Then what do you expect?

Yeah. Let me... Let me
give you a hand with that.

Easy. Where do you want it?

Put it right over here.

- What'd you buy this for, Meena?
- For you to sit in.

- I already got a chair.
- I'll get the rest of the things.

It was pretty. I liked
it, so I bought it.

We got too much stuff
in here now. It's crowded.

Leave it here. We'll
move something else out.

Out in the back with
the rest of that stuff?

Small mountain out there.

Won't be no time before
this thing'll be full of mice.

There we go.

Papa, what do I look like?

- You look like a girl.
- Is that all?

- Well, you look a lot like your mama.
- Was she pretty?

She sure was.

Almost as pretty as you.

I'll go take care of the horses.

Mr. Calhoun, I sure wanna
thank you for being so kind,

taking me in like this, but
I'm kind of late gettin' home.

- I should be on my way.
- The sooner the better.

Yeah, well, I just wanna borrow a horse
and a couple of canteens for a few days.

- You told me your name was Cartwright.
- Right.

But you didn't say
who was chasin' you.

- Well, there was nobody chasing me.
- No?

Well, a man roamin' around in the
desert out here without a gun or a horse,

he sure wasn't out there to
break in a new pair of boots.

You're absolutely right. I ran into
these three fellas and they robbed me.

Then you were chasin'
them when Meena found you?

- No, not exactly.
- Then they were chasin' you.

You got yourself caught
out in a big fat lie, didn't you?

I ain't about to loan my
canteen or my horse to any liar.

Look, I can't get across
the desert without a horse.

- That's a fact. You sure can't.
- Look, Mr. Calhoun, all...

Listen. You already admit
consortin' with outlaws.

- I did not.
- You know where my mind is?

You go ridin' around here
and the next thing I know,

this whole place'll be crawling with
outlaws, bandits and claim jumpers,

a lot of people trying to
get something for nothing.

- I can't stay here.
- You can leave whenever you want to.

But my canteen and
my horse stay here.

How long you think I'm gonna
last on the desert without a horse?

How do I know? Maybe
three or four hours.

I don't know. Damn chair.

- Uh, Wilhelmina.
- Just Meena. That's what Papa calls me.

He used to say I was "meena
than this and meena than that."

Why, I was the meanest
thing alive. I'm not really.

That's just his way of
teasing me, a long time ago.

Yeah, uh, Meena? Meena, I
wonder if you'd do me one more favor.

See, I wanna get
back to Virginia City.

Is there someone there that
might be worrying about you?

Yeah, my pa and my brother'll do more
than worry. They'll come looking for me.

- They'll never find you here.
- That's what I'm afraid of.

If I could just borrow a horse
and a couple of canteens...

You'll have to talk
to Papa about that.

Yeah, I did talk to Papa
and I didn't do so good.

I'm sorry, Joe, but when
Papa makes up his mind...

Yeah, but I can't stay here.

If you're thinking of
stealing one of our horses,

Papa's a fine shot with a rifle.

That doesn't surprise me.

It had good cause.

It takes both horses
to pull that wagon.

Now, if you was to take one and
something should happen to you,

we'd never get
out of here alive.

But maybe you never
thought about that.

Oh, well, I'm beginning
to think about it now.

Well, if you wanna talk to Papa
again, follow the path to the mine.

That way, huh? Thanks.

- You find what you're looking for?
- Yeah, I was looking for you.

Well, then, you found me.

I just wanted to talk to
you one more time about...

I wanna talk to you one
more time about the horse.

- You ain't gonna get my horse.
- Look, I only need...

Don't come screamin'
and hollerin' at me, boy.

That way. That's the
way to Virginia City.

We don't owe you nothin'.

If it's anything, it's
the other way around.

Now, if you gonna go, go. If you're
gonna stay, mind your manners.

I know I'm right, but for some reason
you make me feel like I'm wrong.

I'll stay, I have no choice,
but I'm gonna warn you,

I'm gonna leave
the first chance I get.

You can leave any
time you want to. On foot.

Now that you're here, I might
as well show you around.

Come on.

Pa, ain't you gonna eat?

I'm eating.

Pa, Joe and Candy are both grown men,
old enough to look out after themselves.

Yeah, I know that.

You got back hours ago.

They said they were
gonna be right behind you.

Maybe a horse threw a shoe or came
up lame, broke a leg or something.

Who knows?

They've got two horses.

Well, maybe one
of them got hurt,

and the other one's staying
there to look after him.

Fine. First we have an injured
horse, now we've got an injured man.

Maybe both of 'em got injured.

Now we've got two injured men.

No, they're... they're
all right. I know that.

They'll be back just as soon
as they decide to come back.

Of course they will.

- Where are you going?
- I'm going out to the barn.

Gonna saddle up a
horse, look for 'em?

- Yeah.
- Saddle mine up. I'll go with you.

Mr. Calhoun, you know,
that mine's dangerous.

You need more shoring
in there, heavier timbers.

I know it.

I bring in a load of lumber every
once in a while, but it still ain't enough.

I'd be happy to take the wagon
into town, get you some more lumber.

Well, better go wash up for supper.
It'll be getting dark pretty soon.

Besides, Meena won't
like us late sitting down.

Well, we'll make
camp here for the night.

We lost, Jesse?

No, wouldn't call it that.

Well, Jesse, just
what would you call it?

Undecided.

We need some water
from the spring, Papa.

You should have told me
that before I washed up.

Hey, the... the
table looks great.

Thank you.

You look great too.

Well, thank you. Won't you sit
down? Papa will be back in a minute.

Yeah. Right here?

It's just beautiful.

Don't you ever get lonely
for somebody to talk to?

I've got someone to talk to.

I mean somebody
your own age, women.

Well, what about 'em?

I don't know. What
do women talk about?

I don't know.

Joe, what do women talk about?

Just, you know, things.
Homes, clothes, babies.

And what do they say?

I don't know, but they
always have something to say.

What you got all them
candles burning for, Meena?

Joe, what do you do? I mean,
um, what do you work at?

Ranching mostly. Thank you.

And we do a little...
little timber, some mining.

You only need one candle
to show you where the food is.

Where do you ranch?

A little spread
outside Virginia City.

Just like eatin' supper in
the middle of a brush fire.

Papa, we've got company.

It's a good thing we ain't
got company every day,

else I'd go broke
buying candles.

- Joe, where do you sell your cattle?
- We drive most of 'em to the railhead.

All the way to Kansas City?

No, Carson City. The railroad'll be all
the way to Virginia City by next year.

You mean I could
go to Carson City

and catch a train and go
all the way to Philadelphia?

Sure enough, if you
wanna go to Philadelphia.

Nobody in his right mind
wants to go to Philadelphia.

- I asked if I could.
- I said you could if you wanted to.

Joe, you'll have to excuse Papa.

This is my house and nobody
has to excuse me for anything.

- Papa!
- You just sit down and eat your supper.

I will not sit down and eat.
I'm not a baby anymore.

Getting too big
for her breeches.

Burning all them candles.

There's something about the desert
this time of day when things cool off.

That's when the bugs come out.

You don't see a living
thing all day long.

Then the sun goes down

and you're standing in a
sea of bugs eight feet deep.

I hate it.

- It is kind of rotten.
- Yeah.

How come you live out here?

I prefer bugs to people.

Come on, what do
you know about people?

I know enough. Papa's told me.

And I've seen the people in
town. The way they treat me.

Talk about me behind my back.

Come on. They're not talking
about you behind your back.

It's 'cause you don't know
'em. You gotta make friends.

Why would they wanna
be friends with me?

Well, for lots of reasons.

- You're beautiful.
- I am?

Sure you are. Hasn't
anyone ever told you that?

Well, sure. Papa. But
he's supposed to say that.

He's just telling you the truth.

Look, if you lived in Virginia City,
I'd be camping on your doorstep.

- Would you?
- Sure I would.

We'd sit out on the porch
or go for a buggy ride.

Sundays I'd pack a
lunch, take you on a picnic.

Then what would we do?

Sit and talk, about how
we felt, what we thought.

I might try to hold your hand.

Then I might kiss you.

Then I might really kiss you.

- And then we'd fall in love.
- Mm-mm, yeah.

We don't have to live in
town. We can do that right here.

- I'll tell Papa.
- Go... go... go tell him what?

- That we're gonna get married.
- That we what?

Who said anything
about getting married?

Well, isn't that what people
do when they fall in love?

Well, usually
they do. But this...

And you kissed me. Would you
kiss a girl you weren't gonna marry?

No, no. Well, yes, I might,
just to see what it was like.

- Well, don't you know what it's like?
- Well, yeah, I know what it's like.

But, you know, it's a little
different with every girl.

And you've kissed someone
you like better than me?

- I didn't say that.
- Well, just what were you saying?

Well, I'm... I'm saying... I
don't wanna get married.

- To me?
- To anybody.

Then all you were
doing was leading me on.

- Everything you said was a lie.
- That's not so.

I don't like the desert
this time of night.

At what point did you stop
telling the truth and start lying?

Look, this must
run in the family.

Now, I know I'm in the right and
you make me feel like I'm in the wrong.

Joe, if it's gonna make you
feel bad, you shouldn't tell lies.

You know...

Supper was getting cold,
honey. I put it in the oven.

Thanks, Papa.

Ain't you gonna eat?

I'm sorry, I... I...

Papa, what's it
like to be lonely?

Being alone, all by
yourself, I reckon.

Not liking the
company you're in.

- Are you ever lonely?
- Well, I expect I am.

Are you?

Papa, I wanna get married.

To Joe.

- You hardly know him, honey.
- Well, that doesn't matter.

It does matter.
Matters a whole lot.

He might be a fugitive, a bank
robber, a murderer, anything.

No, Papa. Why, he
ain't even a good liar.

Well, that proves one thing,
he ain't already married.

But I wish you'd take your
time, Meena, and think about it.

'Cause when you get married,
it's for a long, long time.

I know that, Papa.

- Would you help me?
- How?

Well, I don't think Joe
wants to get married.

Well, that is something.

But I think I've got the answer.

Oh, hello, Joe. Come on in, Joe.

Sit down. Have a drink?

Uh, no. No, thanks.

- How do you like this place, Joe?
- Hmm?

- How do you like it here?
- Oh, it's cozy.

How'd you like to
stay around here?

You already know
how I feel about that.

I know, but... but this
is different. I'll show you.

How'd you like to have a fourth of
that, the gold mine and everything?

You mean you're... you're
just gonna give it to me?

Well, no, not
exactly give it to you.

Just a present, you
know, a wedding present.

- Who's getting married?
- You and Meena.

Now, wait a minute. I ain't gonna
take you in town to see a preacher.

I'm gonna go get him, fetch him
back out here to perform the ceremony.

I wouldn't be in too big a hurry to
saddle your horse, Mr. Calhoun.

- You can call me Luke, Joe.
- I don't wanna get that friendly.

Ain't enough, huh?

- All right, a third of everything.
- Look, Mr. Calhoun, it isn't fair...

Wait a minute, now. You're pushing
me. All right, half of everything.

We'll split it right down the
middle and that's as far as I'll go.

I don't mean it isn't fair to
me. It isn't fair to Meena.

Meena ain't complaining,
is she? Take it or leave it.

- Look, Mr. Calhoun...
- Yes or no?

No.

Don't worry about
Meena. It'll all work out.

You being the only man here
and she being the only woman.

In six months to a
year, it'll all work out.

In s... In six months?

Six months ain't no
time at all out here.

Six...

Excuse me.

Meena, I wanna talk to you.

I wouldn't marry you now if you
were the only man in the world.

Look, Meena, out here I am the only
man in the world, and if you married me,

it would be because you didn't have
any other choice, and that's not right.

You have to meet other people.

There're a whole lot of
men that'd like to marry you.

But you're not one of them?

Well, no, not out
here, not like this.

What if we lived in town?

I told you, I'd be
camping on your doorstep.

- We wouldn't have to do that if...
- Oh, Meena, Meena, I can't.

Not like this.

Don't you ever
wanna get married?

- Well, sure I do.
- Then I'll wait.

Last time I seen them, they
was heading right up this way.

Said they had some personal business
to take care of and they'd catch up,

but they didn't.

Sure wish I knew where
they disappeared to.

- You fellas looking for somebody?
- Yeah, a young fella, Joe Cartwright.

Another young fella
with him, Candy.

Oh, yeah. Last I seen of them, they was
helping Meena Calhoun load her wagon.

- When was this?
- Yesterday.

Do you know, did
they ride out with her?

Not that I know of.
They could have, though.

I would have if I was their age.

- Ah. Young gal?
- Yep. And pretty too.

Funny, I didn't see no gal.

Oh, I figured that, Hoss. You'd
have been with 'em if you had.

Hey, we gonna
go looking for 'em?

No, I don't think so.

I think they're probably big enough to
do their own courting by themselves.

- Well, thank you very much.
- You're welcome. Glad I could help.

Sure didn't see no gal.

Well, long as you're here, you
might as well make yourself useful.

I didn't ask to stay
here, you know.

No work, no food.

That's what I said, I
wanna make myself useful.

Hey, don't shoot! It's me!

Hey! Hey, hold it, will
you? He's a friend of mine.

- How'd he get here?
- On a horse.

Just let me talk
to him, all right?

Come on out. She
won't shoot anymore.

Well, you got
here first. Doggone.

I thought she lost you by the creek
bed back there by that blind trail.

- No, she couldn't lose me for a minute.
- Well, you won the bet.

Hey, was it worth it?

Well, I'll tell
you, I'm not sure.

You know, she's kind
of hard to get to know.

Oh, no, that's not... You're just
not going about it the right way.

You think you
can do better, huh?

I'm the man that wrote the book.

Yeah, well, look, I
could use a few pointers.

I'll even take care
of your horse for you.

- Well, that's very big of you, friend.
- What's a friend for, huh?

- Thank you.
- Go to it. Have a good time.

- Where's he goin'?
- It don't matter, Pa. Let him go.

Howdy.

- Papa?
- Yeah, I guess he's fair trade.

Hmm?

Well, I guess he figured we
needed a little time alone together.

- My name's Candy.
- Candy what?

Just... Candy.

You see, when I was a little
boy, I was raised on an army post,

and my daddy's name's Canaday.

Well, they naturally
called me Candy...

Your living all the way out here

don't make it easy for
a fella to come calling.

Now, if you lived in town...

Would you be camping
on my doorstep?

Yeah, I would.

And we could sit out
on the porch and talk.

- Or go on a buggy ride.
- Yeah.

- And then on Sunday...
- We could go on a picnic.

Down by the river.

Or... we could talk.

Yeah, yeah. We could kind
of... get to know each other.

Hold hands.

And maybe I'd
give you a little kiss.

And I'd kiss you back.

Hey, are you sure I don't
know you from some place?

And we'd fall in
love and get married.

Uh, well, uh, uh, maybe, maybe.

Uh, in time.

Oh, we have time. Months
and months and months.

You sit down and
finish your coffee.

I'll be back in a minute.

Who are you? What do you want?

We want gold, your
gold, and all of it.

Calm down. Calm down, now.

Won't get hurt too
much. Come on.

Just give me that rifle before
you get somebody killed.

- Where's Meena?
- I don't know. Somewhere out there.

Somebody's shootin' at
me from the top of the hill.

Not so close. It's to
spook him. Don't hit him.

If you do, he ain't gonna be
able to tell us where the gold is.

Hey, you down there at the
cabin! I wanna talk to you!

- What about?
- Got your girl!

Cost you gold to get her
back! All the gold you got!

All that diggin' just
to make that man rich.

- You can dig for more gold.
- I know.

But you don't realize how hard
work it is, digging and blasting.

My back just aches
thinking about it.

- Hey, you up there!
- Huh?

Send a man down
here to pick up that gold!

But put that girl out there where I
can see she's all right! You hear?

All right, Virg, get her out there in
the open where they can see her.

Come on.

Virgil, if she tries
to run, kill her.

Why don't I just hang
onto her instead?

- Jess?
- Huh?

I got a "what if" for you.

- I got a "what if" for you.
- Huh?

What if you just shut up?

Everybody be calm, now.

Did he really mean
that about killing me?

Well, it ain't what he means.

It's what the fella down
there thinks he means.

That's the way outlawin'
works. Gotta keep folks scared.

Virgil, would you shut up?

- Are you really an outlaw?
- We're kind of workin' toward it.

Caught you, didn't we?

You wouldn't really
kill me, would you?

No, ma'am, I sure wouldn't.

Is that all?

You mind watching
where you point that gun?

Wouldn't want anything to
happen to me now that I'm rich.

You just make sure the girl starts
down when you start up, all right?

Oh, she will, she will.

Everybody be calm.

- Let me see that.
- Go on, get the horses.

- Go on. I'll get the rest.
- Yeah.

Who done that? Did you do that?

When I say tie 'em up,
I don't mean tie 'em up.

- Get that undone. Come on.
- I got it.

Pull.

Ain't nothin' ever
gonna come out right?

Oh!

If you say "what if," I'm
gonna kick you in the liver.

I'll take over rest of the
night. You get some sleep.

Yeah, sounds good
to me, Mr. Calhoun.

Your friend's asleep out on
the fresh hay near the corral.

If it's good enough for a
friend, it's good enough for me.

That was sweet, what
you said, Virgil, on the hill.

Wasn't nothin'.

If I wasn't going to jail, I
would probably say a lot more.

Would you be camping
on my doorstep?

- I sure would.
- Would we go on picnics?

I've never been on a picnic.

Well, we'd pack a lunch
and go to the spring.

And what would we do?

We'd talk about things,
how we felt, what we thought.

People talk about
things like that?

Sure.

And then we'd... I'd...

Are those ropes
too tight, Virgil?

Well, now you mention it, they
are kind of cuttin' off the blood.

I'll do that.

Are you sure he's the one?

Sure as I've ever been, Papa.

I'd like to have a
few words with you.

Sure. I wasn't planning
on going anywhere.

- Hey.
- Hmm?

All right, hold it!

Get back in the house.

You got the wrong
notion, friend.

Get back in the house.

We caught these two trying
to steal the horses and ride out.

Well, it wasn't exactly like that.
You see, they were just going to town.

I know. We're gonna take
'em in and put 'em in jail.

Well, there have
been some changes.

What kind of changes?

Well, I had a little talk
with them last night.

Found out they were innocent.

Innocent? You gotta be kiddin'.
They're thieves. They tried to kill you.

Well, I did hear some
shooting, but I can't swear to it.

Yeah, well, Meena
can. She saw it all.

No, I'm afraid not, 'cause a wife
can't testify against her husband.

- Her husband?
- Yeah, Virg.

That's the reason why Jesse was
riding to town, to fetch back the preacher.

Sure gonna be nice to
have three strappin' in-laws

to help me with my mine.

Virg is gonna make a
fine husband for Meena.

He wasn't my first
choice, I gotta admit that.

You two boys are fine,
upstanding citizens.

Now, if you could see some way

where you could change
your mind, one of you.