Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 11, Episode 1 - Another Windmill to Go - full transcript

An eccentric Englishman arrives at the Ponderosa, his mode of transportation a land-rowing boat. His aim, as the Cartwrights learn, is to expose and challenge Nevada's silly, obscure laws.

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Hoss.

Hoss, sun's up.

It's too early for anything
to be up, much less the sun.

We gotta get moving, buddy.
We got a long way to ride.

Yeah.

Hey, you're right. Sun is up.

Well, what'll it be? Hot beans and
bacon or just jerky and hardtack?

Yeah.

All right, hot beans
and bacon it is.

You gotta whistle?



I don't gotta but I like to.
I'm pretty good at it, too.

More than one
way to prod a mule.

If there's anything I
can't hardly put up with,

is a fella that wakes
up in a happy mood.

My coffee that bad?

- No. Look at that.
- What?

I ain't never seen
nothing looking like that

without three or
four belts of booze.

I didn't know there
was a lake out there.

Lake? There's no water
within miles of here.

There may be no water,
but that's for sure a boat.

♪ Row, row, row your
boat gently down the stream

♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily

♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily...



♪ Row, row, row your
boat gently down the stream

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily Life is but a dream

♪ Row, row, row...

Gently down what stream?

♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily,
merrily Life is but a dream

♪ Row, row, row your boat

♪ Life is but a dream

♪ Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily ♪

Life is but a dream.

That's all it is,
gentlemen, a dream.

Yeah, it feels
like one, don't it?

Yeah, sure does.

But a beautiful one
on a morning like this.

Donald Q. Hought's the
name. Don Q. for short.

That's my daughter, Abigail.

Abby for short.

Yeah. Hoss Cartwright here.

Canaday's mine. Candy for short.

A pleasure to meet
you, gentlemen.

You're just, uh... You're
just out rowing, huh?

Yes. Fine exercise for the
biceps and the chest muscles.

Good for the waistline, too.

Yeah, I imagine, but seems it'd be
a mighty better if you did it in water.

True. But as there's no water, I
have to make do with what is available.

- And you chose grass?
- There's no law against it, is there?

No, no, not that I know of.

I wouldn't want
to drift off course.

Drift? Oh...

Of course not.

- Do you think there should be one?
- Huh?

A law against
rowing in the grass?

No, no, no.

If there was one, it'd be a dang
foolish law, wouldn't it? I think.

Well, not all the laws are sensible,
Mr. Cartwright, but if there was one,

a foolish one, I mean, I
assure you I should not break it.

Pa believes in the law.

He upholds it, abides
by it, he lives by it.

Unless...

Perhaps we're trespassing.

I hear the Cartwrights own
a lot of property around here.

Is this Cartwright land?

Can't be, Pa. I checked the charts real
good. This is government land, isn't it?

Well, yes, but...

See, we lease the
grazing rights, though.

Oh. Are we infringing
on those rights?

Well, no, I reckon not.

I can't figure how one horse and
a boat's gonna do much eating!

Well, in that case, we'll up
anchor and be on our way.

Oh, wait a minute. Wait,
wait. Just one question.

What's this all about?

Well, at my age...

in fact, at any age, a man
should do what he feels like doing

when he feels like doing it.

After all, none of us know how many
tomorrows we have ahead of us, do we?

- You ready, Abby?
- Right, Pa.

♪ Row, row, row your boat

- ♪ Gently down the stream
- ♪ Row, row, row your boat

- ♪ Gently down the stream -
♪ Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily

♪ Life is but a dream... ♪

I thought you two would
be halfway to Elko by now.

Yeah, well, we
would have, Pa, but...

Something came up.

Well, what would that be?

Well, you know that piece of government
range, down south of Widow's Peak?

Naturally. That's where I plan
to graze those 200 head of steers

that you're supposed
to be picking up.

Well, you see, Pa, we
ran into this man out there...

Joseph, will you quit that?

Uh-huh.

You met this man.
What about him?

Yeah...

You see, this man... Well, he
was a nice man, a nice little man.

He had a big stovepipe hat and
fancy clothes, he was dressed real well.

Fine. You met a well-dressed
man. I'm very happy.

Now, what has that got
to do with you being here

instead of on your way to Elko?

Well, see, Pa, I... You
ain't gonna believe this,

but this fella we met
out there, he was...

Candy, tell him what
he was doing. Go on.

He was, uh...

rowing in... in the grass.

This man was... rowing?

- Candy, he wasn't exactly rowing.
- Why...?

He was rowing a boat in the
grass, is what he was doing.

He had a horse in front of it.

The danged boat had wheels
on it and he had a horse in front

and there was this girl
sitting on the horse, see?

Hey. Hey, this girl, was she
about five-six, light-brown hair,

wears it kind of long, nice smile,
a little mole behind her earlobe?

You know them, do you?

- Well, he sure knows her all right.
- I don't know about the mole.

Yeah, yeah. Right
behind the left earlobe.

Yeah, well, we
didn't get that close.

She's be Abby Hought. That'd
be her father, Don Q. Hought.

Don Q. Hought?
I don't believe it.

No, that's a fact, Pa. He
told us his name. That's him.

Yeah, I met them about three years
ago down in the Arizona territory.

I was delivering those horses
to the army remount depot.

Yeah. Were they as nutty
as a tree full of squirrels then?

Well, I'd say they were kind of
unusual, yeah. But nutty, I don't know.

At least you couldn't convince
the Arizona Pacific Railroad of that.

- What'd he have to do with them?
- I'm not too sure.

I never did get the whole story
from him, but what the people say,

he made the railroad
sit up and beg.

And this same fellow is
rowing a boat across a pasture

that we got the
grazing rights leased to?

Couldn't you find out why?

- Yeah.
- Well, he told us.

Yeah. He, uh...

He said that he, uh...

He wanted to row a
boat, so he rowed it.

He said a fellow ought to do what
he wants to do when he wants to do it.

Leastwise, that's what he said.

Well, I'll tell you what I want to do.
I want to meet this man right now.

- Want us to go with you?
- No.

You just continue on to
Elko and get those steers.

Joe, you know them. Let's go
and meet this Don Q. Hought.

That's the man's name.

I tell ya, the sight of him rowing
that boat out across that pasture

would make a
teetotaler order a...

A double whiskey,
bartender, please.

- Mr. Keylot?
- Quickly.

But Mr. Keylot, you don't drink.

I do now. Pour, please.

When cold sober, I see a man in
a high hat rowing a boat on wheels

through a field of grass, then I think
it's high time that I started drinking.

- High hat, rowing a boat.
- Sure do sound crazy enough to he him.

Sure does. Where'd
you see all this, friend?

South of town,
near Widow's Peak.

- Was he a young fella?
- Old.

If my horse hadn't had blinders
on, he probably would have bolted.

Are you sure about
this, Mr. Keylot?

Pour.

How do I drink this?

Like water, friend.

I've been watching it for ten
minutes, and I still don't believe it.

Why don't you have yourself another
little nip? Maybe they'll go away.

Still there.

Now, you know
they can't be real.

I'll find out.

Hey! You real?

I think so.

She talks real!

Well, does she feel real?

I'll find out.

- Well, she sure kicks real.
- She sure does.

Oh! My dear sir!

I'm so sorry. I had no idea...

Sorry? I'll give you
something to be sorry about!

- I assure you it was an accident.
- That's just what you're gonna have.

Let go of him!

- Come on. Take it easy!
- Get your hands off me, you...

- Joe Cartwright!
- Hi, Abby.

I'll be back in a second.

You boys better
take Clay into town.

We... we wasn't meaning
no trouble, Mr. Cartwright.

I know that. You never do.

It's that bottle that keeps
getting you into trouble.

You're probably
right, Mr. Cartwright.

- We're gonna swear off.
- Yeah. Take the pledge.

I'll help you, boys.

Do it the easy way, huh?

You're sure a real help, Joe.

- You sure give a man strength.
- Anything for a friend.

Now, you better get going.

- Yeah.
- Yeah. Going.

Abby, how are you?

Joe, how long has it been?

It's been three years.
You look better than ever.

- Hey, Mr. Hought, good to see you.
- Delighted to see you, Joseph.

Like the cavalry, you
arrived in the nick of time.

Oh, Pa, we could
have handled them.

You, perhaps, my dear, but
I'm past the age of fisticuffs.

Excuse me, this is my father, Ben
Cartwright. This is Abby Hought.

- Hello.
- And her father, Mr. Hought.

- An honor, Mr. Cartwright.
- Pleasure, pleasure, pleasure.

Hought, Don Q. Hought.
A very interesting name.

Actually, Donald Hought.
I threw the Q in myself.

It gives it a sort of
flair, don't you think?

Yes, yes, definitely.

I take it your big son and his friend
mentioned meeting me this morning.

Yes, as a matter
of fact, they did.

And piqued your curiosity?

I must say it's a most
unusual looking wagon.

Pop and I like things
out of the ordinary.

Hm. It's fine exercise. Tones up
the muscles. Tears down the waist.

Yes, yes. Nothing but
exercise? No other reason?

What other reason should
there be, Mr. Cartwright?

Well, of course.
None that I can see.

I was just wondering if perhaps
there was some reason I couldn't see?

Well, let's just say that it's
a little eccentricity of mine.

I like to startle,
shake up people.

- Any other questions?
- No, no, of course not.

Well, in that case,
we'll be on our way.

- More exercise?
- Of course.

Tone up the muscles,
tear down the waist?

Yes. Abby, are you ready?

Yes, Pa.

- Will I see you again?
- Sure. How long you gonna be here?

Oh, few days, a week,
a month at the most.

Oh, then, we'll be
seeing more of you.

You certainly will,
Mr. Cartwright.

- Goodbye, Mr. Cartwright. Goodbye, Joe.
- Goodbye. Take care.

Goodbye!

Well, what do you think of them?

Well, very lovely girl.

The gentleman's a very
charming and gracious man.

Well, you didn't say anything
about nuttier than a squirrel.

Well, that is one
thing he's not.

I don't know who he is or what he is
or what he's after, but he's not nutty.

Uh... You know, I
was just thinking.

They might run into some more
trouble, like the drunks, you know.

Well, they might.

It might be kind of neighborly of me
if I just kind of rode along with them

and, you know, stayed close to
them around camp and so forth.

Just so they
wouldn't get in trouble.

- Neighborly?
- Yeah, I thought so.

Joseph, I think that
would be very nice of you.

- I can do it?
- Go ahead.

Thanks, Pa.

It that him?

And his daughter and
two other men. Take a look.

They're riding off.

It's Ben Cartwright, the man
who owns the Ponderosa.

Are you sure?

Ought to be. I worked for
him once, a long time ago.

Oh, that Hought's a smart man.

Cost the Arizona
Pacific a fortune.

You can bet that whatever's
going on down there

is gonna cost
somebody a lot of cash.

Do you think he's after
Cartwright and the Ponderosa?

That seems to figure all right.

Ben Cartwright's
a tough old bobcat.

He's not about to start
giving things away.

Neither was the Arizona
Pacific until Don Q. came along.

No, we'll let Don Q.
Tangle with the Cartwrights.

Whatever he squeezes out of the
Ponderosa, we'll squeeze out of him.

Pay you more than the dollar a
day you make as deputy marshal.

Squeezing money
from a thief, huh?

Now, that's the kind of
work I like. It's almost legal.

- Let me.
- Oh.

Are you going to go
rowing again tomorrow?

- I don't know. You'll have to ask Pa.
- Ask me what?

Oh, whether or not you were
going to go rowing again tomorrow.

Oh, no. I've had
my fill of... exercise.

- Perhaps you'd like to try.
- Thank you, but no.

- He doesn't need any.
- No, perhaps he doesn't.

Abby, you get
away from that fire.

- Pa, we have to eat.
- But not your cooking.

You know, I ascribe the
excellent condition of my digestion

to the fact that I avoid Abby's
cooking as often as possible.

Pa!

Her mother, God rest her soul...

was a terrible cook!

And that's one talent Abby
seems to have inherited from her.

Why don't you, uh...
drag her away from here?

I'd be happy to.

And I'll provide
a supper fit for...

Well, not necessarily a
king, but at least edible.

All right, Pop. It's all yours.

Come on.

You know, he's right.
I am a terrible cook!

Well, he seems to
know what he's doing.

- Oh, he does, and he...
- Then why don't we just let him do it?

Make supper for one. You
and I can go into Virginia City.

Three years and you
haven't changed a bit!

A little supper and a midnight
ride, what's the matter with that?

- Everything!
- Like what?

Well, we've got a very
busy day tomorrow,

and I'm tired, and
Ginger's tired...

Ginger? Who's Ginger?

The horse.

Oh.

I don't know why she should be
tired. Your father did all the rowing.

Seriously, what's your father doing
rowing around on the grass like that?

Why don't you ask Pa?

Oh, I did, my father did,
my brother did, Candy did.

- Abby!
- Oh, I'm being summoned.

I'll tell you what, if
you're very good...

Mm-hm!

I'll let you do the dishes.

Oh, it seems to me you did
the same thing to me in Arizona.

- Mm-hm?
- Mm-hm.

Abby? Mr. Hought?

- Good morning, Joe.
- Morning.

It's a beautiful day!

It sure is.

How do you like your
bacon, raw or burned?

- Oh, you're gonna do the cooking?
- Afraid to take a chance?

No, your father didn't scare me a
bit. You don't know what bad cooking is

till you've tasted one of
my brother Hoss' pancakes.

Unbelievably soggy!

Mm, it smells good.

- Strong?
- Mm?

Well, let's just say that if you
put some of this in a washtub,

you could float an animal in it.

I usually make it too weak, so this
morning I put some extra coffee in it.

Wait till you taste my bacon!

I can't wait. Of course, when
you see how bad it makes me feel,

you might decide to go
to Virginia City with me.

For a late supper
and a moonlight ride?

It's a bit early for that.
The sun's barely up.

You start early and stay
late. That's the ideal way.

Well, we can't go till Pa
gets back. He took Ginger.

- Yeah? Where'd he go?
- Virginia City.

- What for?
- Oh, he had to see a man.

- Mind me asking who?
- The government land agent.

That's kind of funny, isn't it?

Your father rows across some land
and he goes in town to see the land agent.

- Why would he do that?
- It's his business.

- Just might be my pa's business, too.
- Not gonna try my cooking?

I think I'll take your
father's advice and avoid it.

Sure I can do it.

But what kind of a fool notion is
that, putting wheels on this old scull?

Never you mind. You
do it and I'll pay you.

Uh... Mr. Keylot?

Oh, Mr. Cartwright, come in.

I have to tell you, Mr. Cartwright,
that I have been drinking.

Yes, well, I didn't
know you did, but...

Actually, I should have
started a long time ago.

Why?

When a man comes
in here and files a claim

to buy two sections,
1,280 acres,

of the finest grazing
land in the whole territory

at $1.25 an acre

simply because he has
rowed a boat around it,

well, then, I think it's time for
all good men to start drinking.

You recorded that claim?

As I am oblig...
obligated to do, by law.

What law?

Oh, I'm glad that
you asked me that.

Uh... That's subsection
D under paragraph two

of subsection capital A

under roman
numeral Ill of article 12

of the Federal
Swamp and Marsh Act.

And it's a real law.

What are you talking about
a Swamp and Marsh Act?

We're talking about
good, dry grazing land.

Just a minute, Joe. Just
a minute. Read that, uh...

Yeah, uh...

"Furthermore, a man
may claim for $1.25 an acre

all of that area
which he can row..."

- What do you mean "row"?
- Joseph. Go on, Mr. Keylot.

Thank you, Mr. Cartwright.

"which he can row over in a
boat from sunup to sundown."

And that is it.

Well, that's silly. You can't
row where there isn't any water.

As the gentlemen, Mr. Hought,
was in pains to point out,

there is nothing in this
section about water.

Well, it'll never
hold up in court.

Will it?

Well, if I know lawyers,
they'll try to make it hold up.

Well, what's that
do to our lease?

I'm afraid that you're going to
have to take that up with Mr. Hought.

Joe, do you realize that
if this story gets around,

every bum, every thief,
every drunk in the territory

will be rowing around over
all our prime grazing land.

What can we do to stop them?

Well, we'll just have
to stop then somehow.

We'll get an injunction.

We'll have Judge Harper
serve an injunction on you.

- Me?
- Yes.

Uh... Stopping you from filling any
further claims until this law is amended

to include the words "in water."

Oh, that's a splendid
idea, Mr. Cartwright.

Now, you'll have to
come with us, Mr. Keylot.

Gladly.

Only, I'm afraid that I
am, um... not quite able.

- There's your injunction, Ben.
- Thank you.

Mr. Keylot, now you
have been served.

Well, thank you very
much. May I sit down?

Yeah, Mr. Keylot,
right over here.

What are you going to do about the
claim that's already been filed, Ben?

- Will that stand up in court?
- In my court it would.

I'm afraid it would stand
up in a court of appeals, too.

So, I guess I'm just going
to have to deal with the...

not-so-nutty Don Q. Hought.

Not yet. We'll let Mr. Cartwright
finish his business with Mr. Hought.

Then we'll take up our
business with Mr. Hought.

You know, I got a feeling
they're in for a big surprise!

- Yeah. You think we ought to tell 'em?
- No, no. Let 'em go.

They haven't done that much
work in a bunch of Sundays.

You're right, you know. The
exercise will do them good.

You know, tone up their
biceps, trim down their waists!

Here.

It will get cold.

Yes, my dear. Thank you.

There's a grizzly bear
standing right behind you.

Yes, dear.

Oh, this is most interesting!

Oh, I beg your pardon.
Did you say something?

Nothing important.

This is Oregon homestead law.

Oregon, Pa. Oregon.

Oh, "Oreg-en," "Oreg-on,"
whatever you like.

"To qualify as a homesteader on the
land set aside by law for such purpose,

the person claiming a
homestead must dig a well."

Well, I can understand that.
It's always nice to have water.

Yes, but supposing the homestead's
on the side of a river or a lake?

- Still you have to dig a well.
- That does seem rather foolish.

And the law doesn't specify that
the well has got to have water in it.

It just says you've
got to dig one.

"You must also build a
fence, length unspecified,

a house, a cabin with four
walls, a door and a roof."

Hm.

Pa, you're thinking again.

There are some most interesting
loopholes in the structure of this law.

For instance, it does not say
how big the house must be,

nor how long it must stay
on the homestead in question.

Well, why should it? If it's built
there, it's meant to stay there.

Well, that was the presumption
of the man who wrote the law,

but it needn't be true.

Well, why would anybody move it?

If someone settled on the homestead
to work the land, they wouldn't.

But if, on the other hand,

they were interested in obtaining
legal rights to vast amounts of property

at no cost...

Well, you and your father came up
with a real good one this time, didn't you?

- Meaning?
- Meaning a real nice swindle.

We've never swindled anyone.

I guess you've been
expecting me, Mr. Hought?

Oh, please, not
so formal. Don Q.

Yes, I did rather think
you would be calling on me.

Yes.

All right. How much?

You're a blunt
man, Mr. Cartwright.

No point in beating
around the bush.

You know I need the
grazing rights to that land.

- Well, I...
- How much?

I'm not sure of a value. How much
were you paying the government?

$1,200 a year.

- 1,200 a year?
- That's right.

Well, I think we
could come to terms.

Well, that depends upon
what you consider "terms."

You were paying the
government $1,200 a year.

Suppose we make an agreement
that you pay me, oh, say, 12?

12 what?

Dollars a year.

Dollars?

Frankly, Mr. Cartwright,
I had no idea

that you leased the rights
of the grazing on this land.

I just knew it was
government land.

Well, I... I don't get it.

If you don't want money, then
why'd you bother to file a claim?

Satisfaction. Right, Abby?

Right, Pa.

I... I don't understand.

You would, if you'd been a citizen of
the United States for only five years

and had spent much of that time, as
I have, studying the laws of the land.

Well, I still don't...

- You're still in the dark, eh?
- Yes.

Well, I'm afraid that when I put the
"Q" in my name, I shaped my character.

"Don Q. Hought."

Yes, of course, but well, you've
been successful tilting at windmills.

Hm. Just my small
contribution to my new country.

Yes, I've toppled
a few windmills,

like this ridiculously
written law.

I'm sure the filing of my claim will
cause it to be sensibly amended.

Well, as a matter of fact, I've
filed an injunction to do just that.

Of course, it won't
affect your claim.

Now, uh... how long a lease
are you willing to give me?

Would you say perpetuity...
forever would be long enough?

$12 a year?

If that is satisfactory, I
can draw up a lease now.

Eminently satisfactory.

A swindle?

All right, all right, I'm sorry.

Look, I just don't understand
your father, that's all.

- Few people do.
- But can you blame them?

I mean, you like riding around
the country doing this sort of thing?

You do? Then I don't
understand you either.

- I'm an open book!
- If you're an open book, my dear,

it's in a language I have
not learned to read yet.

Maybe I'm too much his daughter.
I like tilting at windmills, too.

There you are, your lease.

Oh, uh...

- Better not forget the $12.
- Oh, no.

That's ten.

And two. There you are.

Thank you.

Uh...

- Answer a question?
- Gladly.

The Arizona Pacific Railroad.

You heard about that, eh?

Yes, I did. I heard you
made 'em sit up and beg.

They're a pretty rough outfit. I've had
dealings with them. How'd you do it?

Well, their freight rates were
outrageous and they wouldn't lower them.

So, I decided to float stock in a
company to build a competing railroad.

I thought they had
the only right of way.

They do, but I was going to
build my railroad in the Gila River.

- What? In the Gila River?
- Yes.

Oh, I had a wonderful
plan drawn up.

I was going to divert the river and
then lay my tracks in the dry riverbed

which, by law, is public land.

Riparian rights, of course!

Well, could it have been done?

I haven't the faintest idea. I
never thought I'd have to try.

You see, when a company is
as greedy as the Arizona Pacific,

they become easy to bluff.

So, I bluffed, and they
cut their rates in half.

Answer your question?

Yes.

I dislike greed in companies,
stupidity in laws, and foolishness in men.

My sentiments exactly.

Been a pleasure doing
business with you, Mr. Hought.

Oh, Don Q.

Don Q.

Ready, Joe?

Oh, yeah, I'll be
right there, Pa.

Now that this is over,
can I see you again?

- Just me? Not my father?
- Yes, open book, just you.

- I'd like that.
- Well, what about tonight?

Fine.

See you tonight.

Well, now, waiting time's over.

Oh, thank you, my dear.

Pa, how long are we
gonna be staying here?

Oh, I thought maybe
a couple of weeks.

Do you mind if I see Joe?

Mind? I'd be delighted.

- Hello?
- Hello, Mr. Hought.

- You know me?
- We've met. Arizona.

Walters. Bert Walters! You worked
for the Arizona Pacific Railroad.

Still do.

Brought the marshal along to
serve a paper on you, a legal one.

Oh? What is it?

The lawyer says it's a lien,

a writ of attachment
impounding everything you own.

On what basis was it issued?

Don't ask me. I'm no lawyer, but it's
all legal and proper, isn't it, Marshal?

Legal and proper.

The railroad is suing you.

Oh, how flattering.

Well, there's not much to
impound, gentlemen, just two horses,

two bedrolls, and a rowboat.

Plus 1,280 acres of
prime grazing land.

Oh.

If you're wondering
why we know that,

we bought the land agent a
couple of drinks this morning.

Yes. I imagine he needed one.

Sure did.

So, you're putting a lien on the land on
behalf of the Arizona Pacific Railroad?

We could. There are some
other very interesting possibilities.

Such as?

Well, you've got 1,280
acres of good land

that it kind of seems
Ben Cartwright wants.

Ben Cartwright's a rich
man. He'd pay a lot for them.

Pay enough to split three ways.

And, uh... what
happens to the lien?

Well, that's just a piece of
paper. It could be torn up.

It's an interesting idea.

- Pa!
- What is it, Abby?

Pa, you can't go back on
your word to Mr. Cartwright.

There comes a time, Abby,
when a man has to think for himself.

- But, Pa, you can't!
- Abby, I can.

Forgive me, gentlemen, a
little rebellion in the family.

Pa, you're hurting me!

Good!

- I hope they sense it.
- What are you up to?

Turning a small profit and
teaching two fools a lesson.

- But I...
- Do you trust me?

Of course.

The moment I ride out of
here with those two men,

ride over to Ben Cartwright
and have him meet me in town.

- All right.
- Now start crying.

Not another word, Abby!

I'll handle this matter.

I'm sorry, gentlemen.

Now, back to business.

- I have a little proposition for you.
- What?

Frankly, I don't want to become
involved here or back in Arizona.

I'd like to... pull out
with a little profit.

What do you mean "pull out?"

Well, when I filed the claim on
that land, I paid $100 filing fee.

So?

When the claim is finally
registered and approved,

there'll be another
$1,500 to pay.

I'm listening.

Well, as I want to move on,
I'll sell my claim right now.

- For how much?
- $400.

- Three.
- Done!

I'll saddle up, we'll ride into town
and transfer the claim immediately.

I'm telling you, Horace,

we rowed this boat over every
foot of that land we're claiming.

Mr. Kinross, I don't care if you
rowed this boat over the entire territory.

- I cannot accept your claim.
- Why not?

Because a court of law has
enjoined me from doing so.

- Court?
- Law?

- Did what?
- Enjoined!

You're too late with your claim.

Well, now, we're always
either too early or too late!

I tell you one thing we're not
too early or too late for, boy.

- What's that?
- That's drinking.

Yeah!

Wait a minute!

What am I gonna
do with this boat?

- You want us to tell you?
- You can...

Never mind. I'll get
rid of it somehow.

I hate boats!

Mr. Keylot.

Oh, Mr. Cartwright.

Oh, now, don't tell me there's any
more trouble with that stupid law.

This has been the worst
day of my entire life.

No, I was looking for Mr. Hought.
Have you seen him around?

Uh, no.

- Oh, yes, I have, yes, I have.
- Where is he?

I don't know. And if I never
see him again, it'll be too soon.

Abby!

Mr. Cartwright!

- Pa! Is everything all right?
- Fine, fine, fine.

Well, what did you
want to see me about?

Well, to pass on a little information
and to ask for a little help.

Help?

First, the information.

I, uh... sold my claim.

Pa, you didn't?

For $300 cash.

For $300, huh?

Subject to all previous rights,
easements, and agreements.

- What's so funny?
- Well, what your father sold.

Nothing, right?

Precisely, Mr. Cartwright. I love
selling nothing to greedy men.

Wait a minute, I don't get it. What
do you mean, he sold nothing?

Well, they've got these two
prime sections of grazing land,

but I've got a lease which says I
can graze all my stock there forever,

just as long as I pay
them $12 a year, right?

Ah! And I didn't tell them that.

In fact, they're coming out
to the Ponderosa tomorrow

to sell it to you for as
much as they can and...

Well, now, that's where
I could use a little help.

If you could, uh... continue
negotiations for a couple of days?

- Fixing to move on, are you?
- Well, I think it rather advisable.

- Where you heading?
- Oregon.

There're some very interesting
homesteading laws there,

and I've bought myself a house.

A house?

Well, it's more of a shack.

- We're gonna settle down?
- Well, no, not exactly.

Smithy! Will you be ready soon?

Ready now.

- On wheels?
- That's my kind of house!

Quite an idea, don't you think?

Abby?

Bye, Joseph!

Bye, Mr. Cartwright.

What he's gonna do
with a house on wheels?

I don't know, but I have a
feeling Oregon is gonna find out.