Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 10, Episode 7 - Catch as Catch Can - full transcript

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Oh, yeah!

[HUMMING TO HIMSELF]

[GROANS] Beautiful!

Planning on staying with
us long, Mr. Cartwright?

No.

Leaving soon, I take it?

Mm-hm.

Tin Bucket's a nice town.

Said Tin Bucket's a nice town.

Yes, I heard you.



How did you like River Bend?

Oh, River Bend's a nice town.

Mm, that smells good.

Heard you bought
some cattle up there.

Hundred head, a lot of
cattle. Just you and the boys?

Yup.

You're a long way
from the Ponderosa.

- What you doing in Tin Bucket?
- Going back to the Ponderosa.

I'll raise... five.

Hombre, que pasa?

I'm bluffing.

This I do not believe.

Well, I guess that just
leaves the two of us.

Sheriff?



- [CHUCKLES] Thank you, Mr. Parker.
- My compliments.

- Here you are. Keep the change.
- Thank you.

Yes, it sure is a pleasure and a
privilege doing business with a Cartwright.

- Heard a lot about you.
- Oh.

Just sorry to hear about
you falling on hard times.

Hard times? Where'd
you hear that?

Oh, here and there and
just sort of round and about.

Well... things couldn't
be better, Mr. Tingle.

There's Hoss.

- What's he talking about?
- I don't know.

- Hey, Hoss.
- HOSS: Oh!

- There you are.
- You got here. Good.

- Yeah. Well, you sure do smell good.
- Sorry I can't say the same about you.

Well, all day on the trail with a
wagonload of hide, what do you expect?

Any trouble getting
those hides together?

Pa, what deal did you make on them hides
in a place like this at the last minute?

We're selling the hides to a
fellow by the name of Amos Parker.

He telegraphed us in River Bend,

said he was willing to pay top dollar for
the hides if we could deliver them here.

- So I telegraphed you.
- You know this Parker from some place?

Yeah, did some business with
him about nine, ten years ago.

Sold him a few head of
cattle. Nothing important.

We're fixing to meet
him. Come on along.

- No, I'll get a bath and a shave.
- That's a good idea!

- We'll see you in the saloon.
- Right.

Take your time.

I'll see you...
and raise you 20.

All right. I'll call you.

Kinda reckless, Mr. Rice,
with the luck I been having.

Hold it right there.

I want to make sure you got a right
to that money before I give it to you.

Somebody look in his pockets.

What's he got in his pockets
that you're so worried about?

Well, why don't
you look and see?

Put it away.

All right, son. Stand up.

CANDY: Those aren't my cards. I
don't know where they came from.

That is your pocket, ain't it?

You're working this deck.

These two here, three you got
in your hand. I count five kings.

They're not my cards!

Mr. Cartwright, they
say I've been cheating.

- Have you?
- No!

These are not my cards!

CANDY: I don't know where the
cards came from, Mr. Cartwright.

I'm afraid the sheriff
found them in his pocket.

I'm Amos Parker, Mr. Cartwright.

We have some
business to discuss.

[SIGHS] Yes, we do. Just
as soon as I attend to this.

Mr. Cartwright, I don't know
how the cards got in my pocket.

- Do you know this man?
- Yes. He works for me.

A card sharp works for you?

Not a card sharp. He's a
cowhand, and a very good one.

[CHUCKLES] Well, it seems
he ain't a very good card sharp.

If I hadn't a been here, he'd
have probably got hisself shot.

I'll have to give these men
the money that's on the table.

- No!
- Easy, Candy.

I've got $25 in this game.

Go on, divide it up, fellas.

Get your money.

I'm the biggest loser. $59.

My money is easy to find.

I got it water-soaked swimming
my horse across the river.

Hard earned, too. Hate
to lose it to a card sharp.

I appreciate what you've done,
Mr. Cartwright. I'd like to thank you.

Thank you, too, Sheriff.

I'd be more careful who I
played cards with in the future.

Well, I... I ought
to throw you in jail.

Sheriff, I'll be
responsible for him.

- Well, get him out of town.
- We'll all be leaving,

as soon as I complete my
business, if that's all right.

All right.

Joe, ride herd on
Candy, will you?

Candy. I'll be up in a minute.

Can I buy you a drink?

Oh, uh...

No. No, thank you.

We can sit down and get
our business out of the way.

Well, how the years
been treating you?

Can't complain.

No. You've been very successful.

- How about yourself?
- Well, uh... I had my ups and downs.

I guess more downs than ups,
but, all in all, I've done pretty well.

Good. How's Mrs. Parker?

- Alice? You remember her?
- [CHUCKLES] Well, how is she?

She's, uh... Bill!

Well, she's dead,
Mr. Cartwright.

It happened about a year
ago. Fell from her horse.

I'm sorry.

Well, misfortune happens
to all of us, I guess.

Yes. Yes, I've had my share.

Yes, so I hear. I understand that
you've had a lot of hard luck lately.

- What do you mean?
- Well, uh... business.

Debts. Something
about your credit wasn't...

- Who told you that?
- I don't know exactly.

It's just common
knowledge around...

It sure is common knowledge,
even the barber mentioned it.

- Well, isn't it true?
- Of course not.

Look, my son Hoss has
brought in a wagonload of hides.

- There's two more wagons on their way.
- Oh, fine, fine.

Because I want to
discuss price with you.

You quoted the price
in the wire you sent me.

Yes, I know I did, but
some things have happened,

and I can't come up with the
money that I quoted to you in the wire.

I can really only pay half now.

Well, maybe you'd like an
hour or so to think about it.

No, I, uh... I don't need
anymore time to think about it.

I've probably taken up too
much of your time as it is.

I think I'll be on my way.
Sorry we can't do business.

Yes, I am, too.

Good day, Mr. Parker.

I don't care about the money.

What's killing me is you
believed them and not me.

- The sheriff believed them.
- A two-bit sheriff in a two-bit town!

Two-bit sheriff or not,

the bullets in his gun are real
and so are the bars on his jail,

and he was going to throw you behind
them or kill you if you tried to fight.

Did you believe
me about the cards?

- Somebody planted them in your pocket?
- Yeah, that's right.

When? While you were playing?

- I'm not that stupid.
- Well, when?

I don't know when. There were a lot of
people at the bar, they were shoving...

Who? Did you know any of them?

- No, I didn't know any of them.
- Doesn't make any sense, does it?

Look, why don't we get the money
for the hides and get out of this town?

We can't. Parker says he'll
only pay half price for those hides.

You're not gonna let
him get away with it?

No, I'm not gonna let
him get away with it.

I'll have Hoss take those
hides back to the Ponderosa,

and head out the two wagons at
Pine Creek. I want you to go with him.

Right. Got my horse over at
the blacksmith's shop. I'll get him.

Candy?

Let's go see the sheriff.

[GROANS]

- Hi, Billy.
- Sure is hot.

- You ought to slow down a little bit.
- Can't, I got all this work to do.

Oh, a cold sarsaparilla sure
would taste good right now.

It would for a fact.
You buying or am I?

- I'm always broke.
- Well, I'll tell you what.

- I'll buy if you'll go get them, huh?
- Okay.

Hey, where's your axle-grease?
I need to grease a wheel.

- Inside there on the shelf.
- Thank you.

Now, what I'm trying to
say is I ain't gonna sit around

and let nobody turn this
town into a three-ring circus.

- Nobody's intending to do that.
- I'm trying to clear my name, Gant.

- Sheriff Gant!
- [SQUEAKING]

I'm gonna have to do something
about that squeak one of these days.

I think every man has a
right to clear his name, Sheriff.

That man of yours can
just thank his lucky stars

that all I did was take that
poker money away from him.

Now, he can't stay in town and
he can't come back after he leaves.

Why don't you just sell them
hides and all of you get out of town?

I'm not selling my hides.

You mean you come all this way
up here and you ain't gonna sell?

What are you trying to do,
hold Parker up on them hides?

Parker cut the price.

Parker, I think, is trying to
drive a hard bargain himself.

Maybe he's offering you
all them hides is worth.

They're top grade hides.

Now, lookee here,
Mr. Cartwright,

all of us gets pressed to
the wall sometime or another,

but, well, why don't you just
sell them hides and go on home?

I know that, well, you've
been a rich man for a long time,

but you got to
face it, you're broke.

He's not broke!

Now, lookee here, young fella.

I've taken all the jaw off
of you that I'm a-going to.

You can just shut your
mouth and get out this door.

If either one of you or any of that
crew of yours so much as looks sideways

the rest of the time
that you're in town,

I'll throw you in jail so fast
it'll make your head swim.

Now, get outta here!

[HAMMERING]

How you doing?
Got them ready yet?

I did the one shoe. I thought I'd
clean him up all around for you.

Good enough.

Hey, that's a right pretty
horse you got there, mister.

You interested in selling him?

You couldn't afford
what this horse is worth.

Oh, I thought maybe you'd let him
go cheap... hard up the way you are.

Who says I'm hard up?

Well, how else
you gonna figure it?

Your hired hands have to
cheat at poker to make a living.

[LAUGHING]

Go on, get him finished.

Virginia City Bank, and you want
$5,000 cleared here to our bank?

That's right.

That's a lot of money to try to
borrow by telegraph, Mr. Cartwright.

I'm not borrowing the money.

The money's mine. I just want
it transferred to the bank here.

Will you please send that?

[MORSE CODE CLACKING]

[MORSE CODE CLACKING]

[CLACKING STOPS]

- What's the matter?
- The line's gone dead.

- Try it again.
- I said it ain't working.

Nothing we can do but wait. Maybe
something's wrong at the other end.

Do you think it was
cut at the other end?

The wire can be cut
at either end. Come on.

If the wire's been cut,
it's one of you done it!

Well, it took you long enough.

Couple of more minutes
and I'd have been on my way.

Had to go to two
saloons to find cold ones.

Ah! That's good.

[SMACK, HORSES WHINNY]

Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

- [GALLOPING APPROACHING]
- Cut!

RICE: Look out!
Get out of the way!

Hoss!

[CRASH]

Whiskey.

Driving a team drunker than a
skunk! Here, take the rest of it.

[MOANS]

- BEN: Hey, what are you doing?
- Just helping him finish his booze.

- He's been hit on the head, Pa.
- Yes, I know.

He's drunker than a skunk.

Looks like you went broke in
more ways than one, Mr. Cartwright.

He wasn't drunk.

He wasn't drunk!

Clean this mess up.

Get them hides back on that
wagon and get off the street.

You fellas give me a
hand with this wagon?

I'll pay you.

I don't need pay to help
a man that needs a help.

I just heard about
what happened.

Seems like hard luck is
dogging you, doesn't it?

- Anyway, I'm sorry.
- Why?

Old time's sake, I guess.

Look, Mr. Cartwright, I don't
like to take advantage of a man,

especially when
he's down and out.

Parker, don't concern yourself
about me being down and out. I'm not.

Whatever you say.

Anyway, I'll buy these hides from you
for three-quarters of the price we said.

That does it, Mr. Cartwright.

- Thank you, Mr. Daley.
- What do you say?

[SIGHS] All right, three-quarters
of the price we agreed on.

All right, I'll write you a
check for the full amount

on the bank here at Tin Bucket.

If you don't mind, I'll
have to verify that account.

Of course not. The
bank is just over here.

Yes, I know.

Mr. Hollis?

Wilson?

No, Cartwright. Ben Cartwright.

Oh, yes. Nice day,
Mr. Cartwright. Nice day.

Mr. Hollis, I'd like to
ask you a question...

The bank of Tin Bucket is always
ready to answer questions, Mr. Cartwright.

- No, no thank you. Thank you.
- And your question?

Well, uh... Mr. Amos T. Parker has
an account in this bank, I understand.

- Yes, he has.
- Well, what I'd like to know is,

is the account large enough to
cover a check in excess of $1,000.

Oh, you'll have to bring in the check
before I can answer that question.

Well, I'd like to know if the
check is good before I accept it.

Well, well, I suppose it is reasonable
that a man in financial difficulties

- would doubt everyone else.
- Where'd you hear that?

Your financial problems
are common gossip.

And I'll not give out
privileged information

concerning our more
successful clients.

[DOOR CLATTERS]

Mr. Cartwright, do you
expect me to buy those hides?

- What's the matter with the hides?
- Look at the brand.

What about it? Ponderosa brand.

Well, turn it over. What
do you call that brand?

Bar E.

Can you prove that that
steer was legally yours

before the brand was doctored?

Mr. Parker, I've never
worked over a brand in my life.

Whole bale of them was found
on your wagon. Ask the blacksmith.

That's the way of it,
Mr. Cartwright, a full bale of them.

Do you believe I'd
deal in stolen hides?

Well, if you're as broke as
they say you are, you just might.

- What about that big kid of yours?
- What about him?

Well, what's to prevent him from
going into business for himself?

- Oh, come on!
- Even if you wasn't broke,

I reckon it wouldn't be the first
time that some rich man's kid

went and stole something just
for the pleasure of stealing it.

- Do you believe that?
- I don't know.

After what's happened today, you
just tell us something we can believe.

I'm gonna check with the Bar E
and if they've had any cattle stolen,

you and that boy of yours
is gonna have to stand trial.

If Hoss brought those hides,
then he has clear title to them.

- And if he ain't got clear title?
- Then he didn't bring them.

Somebody else put them on
the wagon after he got here.

- Somebody else put them in the wagon?
- Who'd do something like that?

Yeah! Give us some
answers, who and why?

I don't know who or
why, but I'll find out.

I left Hoss with Candy. Couldn't
get a doctor. He's still unconscious.

I'd better go to him.

Can you explain those
stolen hides, Cartwright?

- Now, you stay out of it.
- You can shut me up, Sheriff,

but you can't hide the fact that
Cartwright's been stealing Bar E cattle.

- What are you talking about?
- Your father's a thief.

- Stop it right now.
- Joseph! Joseph!

You're lucky that Cartwright started
the fight, or you'd be paying the damages.

You know how much
this is gonna cost you?

No, I don't, but whatever it
is, I'll be very happy to pay it.

Here, there's $100 in here.

That should be enough
for two of those windows.

My money. It's gone.

I had it a minute ago,
just before the fight started.

Hold on, son.

Let me see that.

That's mine. It's water-soaked.

I know it's yours.

It's been a long time since
we've had a pickpocket in town.

- I didn't take that money.
- Of course you didn't.

Well, you saw me find it
in his pocket didn't you?

I saw you take it
out of his pocket.

Well, I reckon it wouldn't be the first
time that a man ever started a fight

so he could pick
somebody's pocket.

You can't let him get away with it
this time, Sheriff. You got to arrest him.

I'm a-going to. Will you
swear out a warrant?

You bet your life I will.

All right, come
on, son. Get going.

Go on in there.

[TURNS KEY]

Seems like you got two boys that you
don't know much about, Mr. Cartwright.

One of them's a pickpocket,
and the other one's a cow thief.

- You're wrong on both counts.
- Oh? Well, the evidence says I'm right.

- How's that make you feel?
- The evidence and you are both wrong.

You sure do take a lot
of convincing, don't you?

Oh, if you want to bail
him out, it'll cost you $500.

I haven't got $500...

- I didn't think so.
- With me.

Now, don't you try leaving town.

You do and I'll come
after you with a posse.

And that wagonload of hides
is impounded. Leave it alone.

I don't know, I've never seen
a man out like this before.

You think he's all right?

Yeah, he's all right.
His pulse is regular.

His breathing is normal.

I don't know what they doped him with,
whatever it is, it's doing a good job.

And no doctor in this town!

- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.

Do you believe those cards
were planted on me in the saloon?

- I'm sure they were.
- What makes you so sure?

You said they were.
That's good enough for me.

Thanks.

What I keep asking
myself is why?

Yeah, why?

Why were the cards
planted on you?

Why was the money
planted on Little Joe?

Why did this happen?

All part of some
kind of plan, isn't it?

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna wait here
until I can talk to Hoss.

I got to find out whether those
hides, those blotched hides,

they came from the Ponderosa.

You think there's
some chance they did?

Well, Hoss filled a wagon
with some of his own hides.

We have the bill
of sale for them.

More than likely, the hides
came from stolen cows

and they were
switched here in town.

I can't go looking for
ours till I talk to Hoss.

One thing I can do, though.

That is start proving
I'm not broke.

I'm gonna give you this
sight draft for $5,000.

I want you to take this to
the bank in Virginia City.

And also this note
asking for a note of credit.

You get back with the cash and that
letter just as soon as you possibly can.

I feel a little funny about leaving
you here alone with Hoss like this.

I'll manage.

Here, you take these and
get back as soon as you can.

All right, I'll be back
before you know it.

[DOOR OPENS, SHUTS]

Hi!

Thought you might
be getting hungry.

Thanks. What I need more than the
food is somebody to listen to sense.

I'm always happy to
listen to somebody.

Hey, you're gonna
like that stew.

That's muskrat stew.
I caught him myself.

- [FORK DROPS]
- Look, Sheriff, I am not a pickpocket.

There's a man swore
out a warrant says you are.

The only way that money
could have gotten in my pocket

was if he put it
there, that fella Rice.

What would a fella want
to do a thing like that for?

Yeah, that's what
I'd like to know.

Your stew's gonna get cold.

I'm not, uh... I'm not
that hungry, thanks.

Sure ain't no reason
letting it go to waste.

You know, an old mountain man
taught me how to make this stew.

He learned how to fix
it from a Ute woman.

I reckon I'm the only man in the
world knows how to cook this stuff now.

I don't have to pick pockets, my
brother Hoss doesn't have to steal cattle,

and our ranch hands
don't have to cheat at cards!

- Is that a fact?
- Yeah, that's a fact!

We're a very prosperous family.
You're gonna find that out tomorrow.

Then how come your old man couldn't
raise a measly $500 to bail you out?

He'll raise it tomorrow,
don't you worry about that.

How do you think you're
gonna look to the rest of this town

when they find out that whole
story was just made up about us?

Stupid, don't you think?

It don't make no difference how
much money you got. It's like I said.

I reckon you wouldn't be the
only rich kid that ever liked to steal.

I don't like to steal,
and I don't steal.

I remember this kid
over here by Three Forks.

Old man run the Running W.

- Nicest little spread you ever saw.
- Sheriff, if you...

This kid, I think his name
was Dobie, or Dobbs, or...

Can't remember exactly
what it was. He liked to steal.

Steal anything that was loose
at both ends. Just pack it off.

Five cent piece of candy,
$50 horse, he had to steal it.

I reckon I had him in jail, oh,

I don't know how many
times. Couldn't cure him.

Finally, his old man
made him join the cavalry.

They sure cured him there.

- Hey, d'you ever think of joining up?
- Hm?

D'you ever think of
joining the cavalry?

Pay ain't too good, but it sure
beats the heck out of being in jail.

Yeah, well, I'll give
it some thought.

Why don't you think about this?

All the things that have happened
to us since we've been in this town.

That's an awful lot of
trouble for one family.

- There's something wrong with that.
- How's that?

Don't you think there's
something wrong with that?

Yeah, I reckon.

Maybe got a little
too much salt in it.

[RUSTLING]

[DOOR HANDLE RATTLES]

- What took you so long getting here?
- Did Billy get out of town?

You didn't think he
was gonna stick around?

Hoss Cartwright will
wake up any time now.

When he does, he'll tell his father
it was Billy who switched the hides.

I'm pulling out.

Not now, you're not,
not this close to the end.

Whose? Cartwright's or mine?

The more I see of him, the
less I like the whole business.

He's not dumb, he doesn't
quit, and he just doesn't scare.

Sounds to me like you're
the one running scared.

- I don't care what it sounds like to you.
- No?

I didn't pay you the kind of money
I did just to see you walk away.

You know how much
this means to me,

how I've planned it,
how hard I've worked.

It means nothing to me.

Does this mean anything to you?

- Depends.
- How much?

That'll just about do it.

Only if it means the
end of Cartwright.

You got yourself a deal.

Let's go.

- Where to?
- The stable.

That's the first place Ben Cartwright
will go looking for those hides.

- Are you sure?
- I'm sure.

PARKER: I see you found them.

Get up.

[GUN COCKS]

I said get up.

Throw your gun over here.

Very easy.

Oh, I'm glad you
found your hides.

- I figured you would.
- Why'd you switch them?

For the same reason I had Rice
plant those cards on your ranch hand.

For the same reason I made
your son look like a thief.

- My other boy like a drunk.
- That's right.

Now I got the whole
town thinking you're broke.

This is a balancing of the books,
Mr. Cartwright, a final accounting.

You destroyed my life, now
I'm going to destroy yours.

I sold you...

[SIGHS] I sold you a few
head of cattle, years back.

How could that
destroy your life?

You're forgetting
one thing, my wife?

All the times you
met with my wife.

- I what?
- That's right.

I... I met your wife
once in my life.

You invited me to dinner to your
place, you invited me yourself.

You don't have to
lie. I'm not stupid.

I'm not lying, it's the
truth. I never saw...

What made... What gave you
the idea I ever saw your wife again?

It was obvious.

How can anything be
obvious if it never happened?

How can you
believe such a thing?

I believed it. I knew.

Oh, she was clever, though,
she had excuses for everything.

All her little trips and all
the things she'd bring back.

Presents from you.

I knew she was meeting with
you. She loved you, Mr. Cartwright.

Rich Ben Cartwright, big
and successful Ben Cartwright.

My wife was in love with you.

I never saw your wife after that
first time. Now, that's the truth.

Oh, she used to deny
it, too, for a long time.

She said she didn't want things
like money and fine clothes,

a big house and position, that
she wasn't interested in them.

That's not quite the way it was.
In fact, it wasn't like that at all.

I know because I
forced the truth out of her.

You know what she said?

She said, "Yes.

Yes, I love Ben Cartwright.
Is that what you want to hear?

I love him, I love him, I love
him. Are you satisfied now?"

Those were her very words.

Parker, I don't know where
you got any of these ideas...

but there was never anything
between your wife and me.

I never saw her
after that first time.

You forced her into admitting
to something that wasn't so.

Mm-mm.

- Now, she's dead.
- Now, she's dead.

- Had an accident.
- That's right.

- Fell off her horse.
- Hit her head on a rock.

- Did she? She hit her head on the rock?
- Mm-hm.

Or could it be that
when she finally said

all those things that you wanted
her to say, that you forced her to say,

did you pick up a rock and
bash her head in, kill her?

- Kill her for no good reason at all?
- I had a reason, a good reason.

And she couldn't lie out
of it, and neither will you.

I'm going to hang
you, Mr. Cartwright.

Now, a rock was
good enough for her.

For you...

a rope.

[GUNSHOT]

- You looking for this, Mr. Cartwright?
- Don't shoot him!

We have to hang him.

- I don't want him tied.
- I'll cut him loose once he's swinging.

You should have had me in
here instead of waiting outside.

That's all right.

- Got him?
- Yeah.

We're not gonna hang
you, Mr. Cartwright.

You're gonna hang yourself,
because you're a failure, remember?

And what's worse, you
discovered that your sons are rotten.

One's a pickpocket,
other a cattle thief.

The good people at Tin Bucket
already believe that you're broke

and in debt, got no credit.

They believe your
sons are rotten.

You couldn't stand the disgrace,
and so you hanged yourself.

Then the word will travel,
and for years to come,

you're gonna be known as a
broken and a disgraced man.

Suicide!

All right. Let's go.

Hold it right there.

You dirty little coyote!

[COUGHING]

- Okay?
- [BREATHLESS] Thanks.

You can thank that
littlest kid of yours.

I was helping him eat
his supper a little bit ago,

and he kept a-jawing
at me, then later on

I got to thinking,
well, maybe he is right.

It seemed like an awful lot
to have happen to a family

unless somebody
was a-helping it along.

So, I just got to
nosing around and...

[COCKS GUN]

I had a long talk with Parker.

He ain't got no
fight left in him.

Admits everything,
even to killing his wife.

Well...

best that way. What about Rice?

He ain't gonna be walking around
for a while, maybe a year or more.

- Can't say I'm sorry.
- I can't say as I blame you.

You come on back any
time. You're always welcome.

Yeah... Thanks.