Bonanza (1959–1973): Season 1, Episode 7 - The Saga of Annie O'Toole - full transcript

He's a fine man, that Swede.

It's him you ought
to be marrying.

Quit nippin' on that jug

you have hid in the mattress.

That's a fine way to be
talking to your poor, old father.

We were speaking of the Swede.

Like as not, he's
starving to death

out there in the
wilds of Nevada.

Bonanza!

Glory be, 'tis the Swede!

But the sun of the heathen
land has touched him.



He's speaking in tongues.

Annie, I struck it rich
out there in Nevada.

Annie, I'm a rich man.

Ja, ja!

Ah, good stew, ja?

You miserable,
stew-eating Swede you!

If only I didn't love you so.

And I staked out two claims.

Not one, but two.

Oh, Swede... you, me and himself

in the land of Nevada,
breathing the fine air.

'Tis the air of San Francisco

I'm used to breathing
these many years.

Skoal.



I-I'll tell you what we'll do.

You two go on and
get the silver and gold

and bring it back here to me.

And have you drink it up

faster than we can
dig it from the ground?

We all go.

Well, I tell you both,
none of us got to go.

I'm going to sell the claims

right here in San Francisco.

Sell them? Whatever for?

Well, I tell you
the truth, Annie.

After six months of eating
that dry, miserable grub,

I'm sick and tired of Nevada.

Well, I ain't.

And one of these claims
is mine, Swede Lundberg,

for I grubstaked you,

and don't you forget
it. You go ahead.

Trade yours for
a bottle of whiskey

as you'll like as not do,

but Himself and me
is heading for Nevada.

Oh, no, me darling.

'Tis here I belong with the
good salt air in me lungs.

And the whiskey in your insides.

The both of yous.

We go to Nevada.

Oh, you mark me.

Mark me well, Annie O'Toole.

One whiff of that
heathen air and I'll die.

We are not letting
this get away from us.

All right, now listen
to me, all of you!

There's no dispute that
can't be settled by miners' law!

Let's go back to
the Ponderosa, Pa.

This isn't any of our affair.

Oh, son, we can't ignore
the rest of the world.

We're the only stabilizing
influence in the country.

Yeah, well, you sure
stabilized that one, Pa.

Look.

Are you, uh, all right, miss?

Hey, Pa.

What is it?

It's a dead man.

Who is it, miss?

It's Himself. "Himself"?

Me sainted father,
Kevin O'Toole.

Are you, uh...

are you able to
tell us about it?

Cooking breakfast,
I was, this morning

on me mother's stove.

Himself was a great
one for hotcakes.

He strangled and died.

On the hotcakes, ma'am?

Do you question my cooking?

"The hotcakes," he says.

'Twas the air that choked
him, just as he said it would.

"Annie," he says to me.

"One whiff of that
heathen air and I'll die."

He said it and... he did it.

Thank you. I'm all right.

He wouldn't want me grieving.

As a matter of fact,
I'm proud of him.

"Proud of him"?

And why not?

It's the first time in
his life Himself ever did

exactly what he said he'd do.

Well, we're all
dreadfully sorry, miss.

If we could offer you the
hospitality of our ranch

until you return home.

My, don't you
talk grand, though.

No, thank you.
I'll be staying here.

Here in Washoe Diggings?

Half a minute.

Here we are.

You know a man
named Swede Lundberg?

Know him? Many's the time

I've knocked the corners
from his head with a skillet.

I know him.

Now, will someone guide me?

All right, just a minute.

Uh, maybe you better
go with her, Hoss.

This is my brother,
Miss O'Toole.

He'll see that, uh, no
harm comes to you.

My, ain't you the
big one, though?

Thank you.

There'll be no more of
that! Oh, won't there?

That woodpecker of a
Simpson jumped my claim!

Now, stop it, now.

In the absence of formal law,
you still have your miners' law.

But who's to enforce
it or decide on it?

Well, appoint
yourselves a referee.

Or if you have a
serious dispute,

call a miner's court.

I'll hold with that.

But there ain't anybody
around here I can trust.

Except Ben Cartwright himself.

Oh, no. Thank you, fellas.

Thank you, Clayton,
but I'm afraid my time

is fully occupied.
Well, we'll vote on it.

All those in favor
of Ben Cartwright

acting as dispute
referee, speak up.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,
please gentlemen.

Well, if you feel
that I can help settle

your current disputes,
but remember,

it's only a temporary
arrangement

until you find somebody
permanent. All right.

Looks like you got
yourself a job, Pa.

So have you, younger brother.

You get yourself
back to the ranch

and see how the boys are
doing with the cattle branding.

And just what'll you be doing?

I'm going to get
that girl out of town

before we get into a dispute
that even Pa can't settle.

It's the best I could do, Ma'am.

Thank you.

Oh, it's a fine view.

Himself will like it
once he gets used to it.

Yes, ma'am.

Oh, all this hard work
in the heat of the day.

You poor man, you
must be starved.

Well, I can always eat, ma'am.

If it ain't no bother.

Oh, on that stove a bother?

Why, it's like a friend to me.

It's one thing I
understand complete.

Thank you. ADAM:
Well, Hoss, looks like

you took care of things.

I had to put him
someplace, Adam.

Well, I, I guess it
really doesn't matter.

Well, now Mr. High and Mighty,

it matters a lot to me.

I really meant no
disrespect, miss.

It's just that, well, we haven't
fully checked your claim.

You see, Swede
Lundberg had two claims.

And this is one of them.

And it's here I am
and here I stay.

Miss O'Toole, I assure you

my only concern
is for your welfare.

Chew that one again?

What?

Speak plain to the point.

Then I'll do exactly that.

You are the only
woman in this camp.

These are rough men.

Oh, and it's milksops I'm used
to on the Barbary Coast, is it?

All I'm saying is it's no place
for a nice, charming lady.

Why, now, thank you very
much for the compliment.

But don't you worry about me.

I can cut the whiskers
from a cat with a skillet

without even
disturbing its slumber.

Now, you were saying?

I was saying that I want
you to get out of here

and go back to San Francisco.

And leave Himself
alone in a heathen place?

Why there hasn't
been a day of my life

I haven't taken care of him.

It's here I stay.

Ma'am, my brother Adam
always knows what's best.

Oh, I suppose I have no choice.

There's bare enough food
in the wagon to last the day.

And there you
stand, you poor man,

starvin' in your tracks
while I babble on.

Here we go now.

Thank you very much.

Now, Miss O'Toole, if it's
money you need... And who don't?

Well, I'd be glad to
give you enough money

to get you back
to San Francisco.

Mr. Adam, I'll have you know

I don't take money
from no strangers.

The shame of you, talking
like that in front of Himself!

I only meant...

I've got an idea what you meant.

And you'd best be
learning some manners

from your big brother here.

Now you take yourself
out the way you came in.

I promised your
brother mulligan,

and mulligan he shall have.

Oh, Himself loved me mulligan

almost as well as
he loved his bottle.

Woman cooking,
that's what it is!

What? Woman cooking! Come on!

Aw, you poor, starving dears.

Listen, if you'll all
pitch in together,

and get me a big pot,

and some spuds and
onions... "Onions"?

Miss, if there was
an onion in this camp

it could be traded for the
richest claim on the Washoe.

Salt pork is all you'll
find around here.

Uh, Miss O'Toole, if you
won't accept money from me...

You trying something
with this lady?

But he ain't getting
no place with it.

I'm only trying to help her.

I told you, I don't take
money from no strangers.

Who's offering you money?

Now, I was watching these men

and their interest in
your, uh, culinary arts.

Watch your tongue!

Would you feed
them for say, uh...

a dollar a meal?

At a dollar and a half I would.

Ah, but where am I
going to get enough food

for all these hungry mouths?

That's what I'm telling you.

Now, I have plenty of
supplies on the Ponderosa.

Now, I could give you enough

to cook one big meal
for the whole camp,

and on the proceeds, you
could return to San Francisco.

What sort of supplies?

Oh, ham, fresh eggs, beef.

Oh, how can I turn 'em
down, the poor, starving dears?

Then it's a deal?

On one condition. What?

That you come in as my partner.

Oh, now, that
won't be necessary.

Then the deal's off.

Oh, all right.

Oh, a lovely thing it is.

Adam, you're a darling man,

and to think I took
you for a snibber blot.

A what?

A snibber blot.

'Twas a saying Himself
had for the nabobs

that lived on the hill and
looked down their noses

at us on the Barbary Coast.

I mean no offense.

It's just your grand manner,

but, Adam, you have a heart,
and I could kiss you for it.

Uh, we'll need a name for
the place, a menu with prices.

Whoa.

First you want me
to round up the cows.

Then I get word you want
me to empty the store house

and bring everything here.

Will you make up your mind?

You just get on
back to the cows.

This is all you'll be hauling.

Whoa.

All right, just
what's this all about?

Miss Annie said that
two wagon loads would be

better than one.

And who told you to
take orders from Annie?

Ain't she your partner?

For this one load, for
one batch of meals,

and then back she
goes to San Francisco.

Now, Adam, the
men are pretty excited

about the eating
place they got here,

and they ain't
gonna like it much

if you close it up
before it even gets open.

I don't care whether
they like it or not.

One easy way to solve all this.

Just let older brother
do all the cooking himself.

There's one thing I
want straight around here.

We're going to
raise enough money

to get you back to San
Francisco and that's it.

No more.

Is that clear? Yes, Adam.

Then where in
thunderation do you get off

in telling Hoss to bring
a second load of goods?

And where do you
get off telling me

how much supplies it takes
to feed a hundred men?

A hundred men?

They're coming down from
the hills a dozen at a time.

Well, this is all.

Understand?

Absolutely all.

Well, where's the bill of fare?

Adam, I can't write.

There you are, a
snibber blot and I knew it.

It ain't like I didn't
want to have learning,

so don't stand there and
look down your nose at me.

Annie, I wasn't criticizing you.

Well, you was, too.

You with your fine
words and your grand airs.

Oh, really, what
difference does it make?

Now, just by luck, I
happen to know how to write.

We're partners, aren't we?

Mm-hmm.

All right.

Now, what's the name of
our grand establishment?

The Square Meal...
That's what they all say.

You know, I could have learned
to write if I'd had a chance.

Of course you could.

There, how do you like that?

My, ain't it grand and scrawly?

Adam, could you learn
me to write it out like that?

Sure, I could.

Now for the bill of fare.

Let's see, um, ham and
eggs and potatoes... a dollar.

A dollar and a half.

Uh, uh, I ought to
learn numbers first.

Adam, could you
learn me numbers?

Sure, I could.

A dollar and a half?

Uh, make it two dollars.

A dollar and a half for
mulligan by the plate.

Being in business, it's good
for me to know numbers.

Adam, could you really
learn me to write numbers?

Could I teach you.

I don't know, could you?

Oh, uh, two
dollars for the stew.

The supplies are all
unloaded, Mr. Delmonico.

Oh, Himself would
be so proud of me,

being in business with
such fine gentlemen.

Uh, Adam, we are
running out of wood.

Will you cut some?

Oh, I guess Annie doesn't know

how scarce wood is around here.

I brought some
from the Ponderosa

right here in the wagon.

Start cutting it.

Adam.

Yeah?

Look, in spite of me
ways, there's a heart in me.

I mean Himself, but you see,
he wouldn't want me grieving.

Ah, Adam, you're
a good, kind man.

I'm doing no more than
anyone else would do, Annie.

But you are.

Offering to learn me figures
and how to write and all that

and to speak like a real lady.

You and me is going
to make a million dollars.

You and I.

That's right, darling,
the both of us.

The Square Meal Restaurant
was a howling success,

and by the end
of the first week,

Annie O'Toole had enough money

to take her back to
San Francisco in style.

But Annie showed
no inclination to leave,

and I discovered that although
she couldn't "write writin',"

as she put it, she did have
quite an eye for business.

There we are now.

No, no, no, no, no, Annie, I
don't want any of the money

because I got to get you
back to San Francisco.

Now, listen to me,
Adam, you're going to...

I tried my best to get out of
that partnership with Annie,

but Annie wouldn't hear of it.

Pa, too, had gotten in a lot
deeper than he had planned.

I decided it was time for
all of us to get out of here

and get back to Ponderosa
where we belonged.

What's the matter?

You no like Hop Sing cooking?

You like Miss Annie O'Toole?

All right, I quit.

Simmer down, Hop Sing, will you?

We've got enough trouble
with that woman as it is.

Why don't you marry her,
Adam, save us all this trouble?

You know, if she
doesn't stop grubstaking

every miner that comes along,

she'll wind up owning
half the Comstock.

Hey, you know, you're
making more money by accident

than most men make
on purpose, you know.

I tell you, I'm not her partner.

Yeah, well, don't
tell me, tell her.

Boy, she can sure cook.

You go her house, eat.

You no like Hop Sing cooking.

Now, wait a minute, Hop
Sing, that ain't what I meant.

That ain't what I meant.

Mr. Cartwright, I
can talk to you?

Swede, when'd you get back?

Come on in.

Well, I've been back
a couple of days.

Sit down.

No, thank you.

Oh, am I glad to see you.

We have a mutual friend
in town... Annie O'Toole.

Well, this here is what
I come to talk about.

They tell me you
settle all the complaints,

Mr. Cartwright.

Oh, we're just trying

to establish some
degree of order.

Why, what's wrong, Swede?

Well, you see, when I left here

I staked out two claims:
the one I give to Annie

and the other, I sell
in San Francisco.

What's the difficulty?

Well, I don't know
which one I give to Annie

and which one I sell.

Well, that should
be simple enough.

Annie has her claim

and I assume the
man you sold to has his.

Adam, have you ever tried
to reason with Annie O'Toole?

Well, I guess we
ought to look into it, Pa.

All right. Come on.

Well, Mr. Cartwright.

It seems clear
enough, doesn't it?

I am obviously the legal owner

of the Swede Lundberg
claim number two.

Yes, it would
seem so, Mr. Spain.

And by simple
process of elimination,

Annie O'Toole must own Swede
Lundberg Claim number one.

Yes. Then I insist

you throw her off my property.

Mr. Spain, we're not
here to throw people out.

We're here to settle disputes.

Maybe we talk to
Annie about this...

Ah! So it's you again, is it?

Now, Annie, we, uh,

we just want to get this
thing straightened out.

Mr. Spain here is...
Oh, Mr. Spain, is it?

Ain't we grand since
we moved to Nob Hill.

Mr. Gregory Spain.

Trap Door Gregory he
was when I knew him.

Let's stick to the facts.

"The facts"? The
facts you'll have.

The biggest thug
and shanghai artist

on the Barbary Coast, he was.

Mr. Trap Door Gregory!

Must I listen to this witch?

You be careful
what you call her.

And ain't you the fine one?

Trading your claim to this
scum here for a bottle of whiskey.

Annie, it wasn't a
bottle, it was a keg.

And, well, it was for Himself.

A sort of a wake, it was.

Oh, a wake, was it?

Why you didn't even know

Himself had
passed to his reward.

All very interesting.

Get them out of here.

I'll get a crew in here to
tear down this restaurant.

The grave has to be
moved, of course...

You snibber blot!

You miserable,
little snibber blot!

Putting on airs with me!

I knew you when you
was picking pockets

of drunks in the gutters, I did!

And didn't Himself
go to work for you

when you first got into
the shanghai business?

Springing the
trap doors, he did,

under the bar stools.

The best trap-door
springer you ever had.

You said so yourself. Yeah.

Yeah, he was all right.
And did he ever come home

with a dollar in his
jeans? No, he didn't!

You paid him his wages
in whiskey, you did!

Keep her away from me. Ah!

He ain't even worth
denting me pan on.

Swede, is this claim number two?

Or ain't it?

Well, I-I think so.

I just don't remember.

You don't remember?

Well, I... I was
sort of excited.

You was drunk,
that's what you was!

Annie, get your claim notice.

If this is claim number
two and your notice says

claim number one, then I'm
afraid you're on the wrong property.

Oh, Adam.

Don't let him move Himself
from his resting place.

Annie, we may have to.

I won't do it!

Please... Annie,
get your claim notice.

Claim number two, you say?

You read it, Adam.

You know how
poor I am at reading.

Mr. Spain, let me
see your claim, please.

There. Mm-hmm.

They're both for
claim number two.

What?!

You altered yours.

It's a forgery!

I'll throw you out of here

and Himself along with you!

No, you won't!
Now, now, now, now!

This can all be settled,
but not in this manner.

Come along, Mr. Spain.

Oh!

Annie, this will
get you no place.

Gregory Spain.

Snibber blot, thief,
crook, that's what he is.

Accusing me.

Annie, one of these claim
numbers has been altered.

Oh, Adam, I just don't
understand business.

Annie, did you change
your claim number?

How could I do it?

Now the claims are done
with Roman numerals.

I don't know nothing about it.

I never met a Roman in my life.

Annie, is that what you did?

Adam, you know I can't write.

Oh, all right, forget it.

Pa and I will straighten it out.

Don't you worry
about it, darlin'.

For ten years, I've been waiting

to get Trap Door
Gregory in my clutches.

The way he done
you out of your wages,

and you the best trap
door springer he ever had.

Don't you worry about it.

They won't be
disturbing your rest.

Not unless that Trap Door
Gregory pays for it, they won't.

I demand my rights!

All right.

Now, Swede, surely there must
be some way you can remember.

Which stake did
you claim out first?

That would be claim
number one, wouldn't it?

I just don't remember.

No, that wasn't it.

I think I got it.

I think I know.

I left my tools on
claim number two.

My pick, my shovel.

And then I got excited.

You got drunk.

Then wherever we find the tools,

that's claim number two.

And that's my claim.

Can you identify the tools?

Well, yeah, sure.

I-I got the first
letters of my name

burned in the handles.

Will that satisfy you, Annie?

Oh, sure, sure, Adam.

I only want to do what's fair.

Well, I'd best be getting
back to the restaurant.

All right, all right, all right.

Now, quiet for a minute.

Here's what we'll do.

We'll go down to the
claim and take a look.

And if the tools are there,
that will be claim number two.

Agreed?

All right.

Sure hope those tools
aren't on Annie's claim.

That Spain's a crook
if I ever saw one.

There's some tools
over there, all right.

I used a pick and a shovel
when I dug that grave.

I was afraid of that.

All right, let's get at it.

Now, now, now,
listen, darlin's, listen.

You can't go looking for
tools on empty stomachs.

Give me one minute and
I'll get the mulligan pot going.

Well, we didn't
come here to eat.

We came here to see justice.

Sit down.

You'll get what's coming to ya.

I wish he would.

All right, Annie,
bring on the food.

We're all for you.

I ain't hungry.

Annie, you promise you'll
abide by our decision?

Oh, yes, I will, Adam.

But that Trap Door makes me mad.

Strutting around like a peacock.

Just 'cause he's
moved on to Nob Hill,

he thinks he's a big typhoon.

Tycoon.

Typhoon is a big wind.

That's him.

I just don't understand it.

There was a pick
and shovel back there.

She stole 'em, I tell
you. That's what she did.

She's tryin' to do me
out of what's mine.

Oh, quit whining, will ya?

We looked, didn't we?

What's the matter, Mr. Spain.

You got that other claim.

Why don't you go on
over there and take it.

I ain't through with
you yet, Annie O'Toole.

I'll have what's mine.

Why don't you go
spring a trap door.

Come on, Little Joe.

Good-bye, ma'am.

Annie, I don't know
what your game is.

Now there you go, suspecting me.

And me figuring the only
man I could count on were you.

Was you.

Well, you wasn't.

Oh, Adam, I've known
Trap Door most all me life.

A cutthroat, thief,
that's what he is.

Oh, I can believe that.

And that's why I hate to
see you antagonize him.

Now, look, Swede's
other claim is near here.

Why don't we get the men
and just move the restaurant.

But what about Himself?

There'd be no need
to disturb the grave.

And have him know that Trap
Door was trampin' all over him?

Himself would be turnin' end
for end, he'd be that upset.

Oh, now, Adam,
why do you doubt me?

You seen me claim
notice today, didn't you?

Didn't it have the right number?

And did they find the Swede's
pick and axe and shovel?

Now I ask you, did they?

There's such a shortage
of wood around here.

Sure there is.

Looks like Spain's
getting himself a crew.

He's been at it
for the last hour.

Must have talked
to ten or 12 men.

Yeah, he sure knows how
to pick the tough ones, too.

Maybe they've decided
to work claim number one.

I doubt it.

Why don't they
just trade claims?

After all, one's just
about like another

and besides, Annie has
a father buried over there.

Isn't anything
sacred around here?

Not where silver is concerned.

It would seem that
Mr. Kevin Himself O'Toole

is buried atop the richest
strike ever made in the Washoe.

Keeping the news
of a big strike quiet

is about as easy as hiding an
elephant under a walnut shell.

Everyone wanted in on it.

From the looks of it,

Annie was getting her
share of the bonanza, too.

Go ahead with your
eating, gentlemen.

You won't disturb us one bit.

Now look, Spain,

if you think you can
run Annie off her claim...

Her claim, Mr. Cartwright?

Swede...

will you show me just
where you dug your shaft

when you made your
required improvements?

Improvements?

Improvements?

I guess I didn't make none.

I just knocked a hunk of
assay rock off the ledge.

That's right, Swede.

You didn't make
any improvements.

And according to miner's law

in which you Cartwrights
put such great stock,

if the improvements are
not made within ten days

the claim is
considered abandoned.

And also

according to that
same miner's law,

it would be perfectly legal
for me to shoot any man

who tried to jump my claim.

Get to work, gentlemen.

Adam, can't you stop 'em?

They're busting up the place!

Digging an experimental
hole, gentlemen.

It's only a very small
charge of powder,

but perhaps you
should stand back.

Give 'em the heave-ho!

Give it to him!

It's only fool's luck that
someone wasn't killed.

And unless this thing gets
settled, someone will be.

It's already settled!

That's my claim and she's on
it and I mean to throw her off!

Filthy thief you...

Quiet! Quiet, all
of you! All of you!

Now we had some semblance
of law and order started here.

Let's don't lose it.

Now the way I see it,

the only way to settle this
is to hold a miner's court.

Hear all the evidence.

Everyone in camp acts as a jury.

I'll give you evidence.

Trap Door Gregory is a
pickpocket what made good

and that's all he is.

Miss, O'Toole.

I wouldn't take his
word for the time of day!

Annie, will you please be quiet.

Now, Pa, I think a miner's
court is the right thing to do.

You have no right to think.

But, Pa, it's me, Adam.

As far as I'm
concerned, young man,

you are the partner
of the defendant

and if you say one more
word to me before the trial,

I'll fine you for trying
to influence the referee.

Adam, we have enough money.

Let's buy us another judge.

Annie. I was
only trying to help.

Will you stop trying to help

before you land
the both of us in jail?

Mr. Spain, how about you?

Do you agree to
the miner's court?

Plaintiff agrees.

Miss O'Toole?

I think you're a snibber...

Miss O'Toole agrees.

All right.

Now you have a half
hour to prepare your cases.

Annie, I may as
well tell you right out,

I don't think you have
any legal right to this claim.

Well, Adam, I wasn't
thinking of legal rights.

I was just trying to
think about human rights.

You know, I'm human
same as anybody else.

Of course you are, Annie.

Oh, I don't mean
to complain, Adam.

But all these years
I've worked hard,

dreaming of one thing.

That someday I'd
get to live like a lady.

Annie, why didn't
you get married?

Oh, I wanted to.

But nobody ever asked me.

Adam, you won't walk
out on me now, will you?

Don't you worry, I'm not
gonna walk out on you.

Because I wouldn't know
what to say at the trial.

Your pa, as good a man as
he is, terrifies me with his ways.

I'll speak for you.

You will?

You darling, you!

Well, I got word you
wanted to see me.

Is there any charge
for this here show?

Oh, Swede, I-I just
wanted to talk to you.

Ja, sure, as soon
as you get through

lollygagging and
kissing around, ja?

Now, Swede, listen, uh...

Just a minute, Swede Lundberg!

Don't you get
snibber blot with me!

Me snibber blot?

Well, how about you, you
and your talk about marriage

all the time, and the fine house

and you're going to make
a fine gentleman out of me!

Swede, listen... And a
sorry task it would be!

Well, don't you bother...
You found a fine gentleman,

a real fine one!

Indeed I did find a fine one!

Well, then why
don't you marry him?

That's what you wanted.

Go ahead, see if I care.

Swede, listen... But I... Swede!

Now, Swede, listen!

I ought to punch
you right in the nose!

Things look bad for Annie, Adam.

We've been keeping
an eye on Spain.

He's been buying liquor and
bribing every drunk in town.

There's more of those
than there are of the others.

Looks like you got yourself
a paid-off jury, older brother.

Court will come to order.

Take off your hats.

Mr. Gregory Spain.

Your hat!

My case is simple, and
I'll throw myself entirely

on the mercy of
these honest men.

And the honorable judge.

I make no claims.

I ask only that the law of
abandonment be upheld.

The assessment
work ain't been done

on the claim in question.

He's right. SPAIN:
That's all I got to say.

Your hat!

Miss Annie O'Toole.

Miss O'Toole!

Adam, I need you.

Miss O'Toole!

Please?

Uh, as one of the partners
of Cartwright and O'Toole,

I'll present our case.

Now, the whole point
here seems to be

that, uh, no assessment
work was done.

Well, I submit it was.

May I call a witness,
uh... Your Honor?

Thank you.

Uh, Hoss Cartwright.

Now, Hoss, did
you or did you not

dig an exploration shaft
on the disputed claim

the very first day Miss
O'Toole came to Virginia City?

Yeah.

Yeah, I-I-I dug a hole...

Just answer the question.

Yes, sir.

I dug a hole six foot deep,

six feet long and
three foot wide.

Gentlemen...

that satisfies the requirements.

And there's not a
thing in miner's law

that says you can't bury a
body in an exploration shaft

and then fill it back up again.

Gentlemen, I ask
that you rule in favor

of Miss Annie O'Toole.

The assessment work was done!

Now, that's a fraud!

Court's adjourned!

You're a thief and a crook!

It takes one to recognize one!

I can't fight the whole camp.

I know I'm buying my own claim,

but I'll give you
$5,000 in cash.

Trap Door, do you
think I'd disturb Himself

from his resting
place for money?

I wouldn't dream of it!

At least not for that amount.

You will excuse us.

And to think of
him sleeping there,

right on top of
a million dollars

and not making a move
to do anything about it.

And him who never before
had a dime in his jeans.

Annie, if you'll
only sell to me.

I'll not disturb Himself.

$7,500. Ha-ha!

Uh, $10,000 in cash.

Trap Door, you should
never have done Himself

out of his rightful wages.

I have a hunch he'll
never listen to you

until the price is
twice the amount.

Why don't you go
out and get a gun

and rob stagecoaches?

I seem to be doing
all right without it.

Hey, Hop Sing,

is this what you
do on your day off?

Miss Annie teach Hop Sing
make a very fine Chinese dish.

Hong Kong Mulligan.

By and by, you no have to
come to restaurant no more.

Yeah! See?

Ah, you're doing fine!

Annie, Annie... $25,000, hmm?

I'll speak to Himself about it.

I had finally convinced her

I no longer wanted to be
a partner in the restaurant,

but I kept getting indications
that I was still involved.

Hey, hey!

Hey! Why didn't
you tell us, Adam?

You and Annie...
Ain't it wonderful?

What are you talking about?
Hey, can you imagine, Pa?

Adam and Annie getting married!

Adam and Annie? Yeah.

Where's that Swede?

Oh, he went prospecting.
Prospecting? Where?

I don't know, I
think he said Africa.

Hey, son, son, how
far has this thing gone?

It hasn't gone anywhere.

But it's about to.

Now, Adam, don't you
hurt Annie's feelings.

It wasn't her feelings I
was thinking about hurting.

Annie, what's this
about a wedding?

How can there be a wedding

when I don't even know
where the Swede went?

Oh... the Swede.

Adam, he's still mad
at me for what I done,

said he never wanted
to see me again.

And me loving
him all these years.

Selling his claim for him!

And getting all this
money for him, too!

Just you wait and see!

There.

Annie, where did
you get all this?

Trap Door Gregory...
I sold out to him.

For this, and the best funeral
for Himself that money can buy.

Why, there must... there
must be $20,000 here!

Oh, $25,000.

This is the first down payment.

You see, I get five percent
of the gross take of the mine

for the rest of me natural life.

Oh, I tried hard to learn
business from you, Adam.

I hope I done good.

Five percent of the gross.

Annie, you've done real good.

I done it for Swede.

You did it.

That I did!

But it's no more than fair...

It's what he should've
had in the first place.

Oh, Adam...

I was going to move
Himself on to the other claim.

The Swede and me
was going to get married.

I was going to
build a fine mansion

and live like a real lady.

And now the Swede
has gone off and left me.

Aw, don't you worry, Annie.

I'll take care of everything,
for old time's sake.

Do you really think
you could? Mm-hmm.

Oh, you're a darling man!

Uh-uh.

It took a bit of
doing, but we did it.

And it was quite a day.

Kevin Himself
O'Toole had a funeral

the Comstock would remember
for a long time to come.

And to make it stick
in everyone's mind,

it was the day Virginia
City got its first fire engine.

But what really made
it such a grand day

was the fact that

Trap Door Gregory Spain
paid for every bit of it.

Uh, would you turn him around

so he can see the new saloon?

Then he'll know he's
not in a heathen land.

Bonanza!

Oh, no, not again!

Gregory Spain's
Lundberg number one

became a famous mine.

But it wasn't one-tenth as rich

as the one on the
Swede's other claim,

which turned into one of
the most fabulous strikes

of the whole Comstock lode.

The Swede?

No, he hadn't
gone to Africa at all.

It meant rousting every
saloon on the Barbary Coast,

but, uh, we finally found
him and even dried him out.

And after paying their respects

to Himself and his
ever-loving monument,

The Lucky Stiff Mine,

Mr. and Mrs. Lundberg
embarked on a trip to Europe

to soak up culture and
achieve Annie's dream

of really becoming a lady.

And when they came
back, Annie and the Swede

built themselves a great mansion

on the road between
Virginia City and Reno.

And I wouldn't be surprised

if that mansion
would still be there

a hundred years from today.