Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 3 - Bob Fires the Kids - full transcript
Fearing that he is ruining their childhoods, Bob fires the kids from their jobs at the restaurant, but they just end up working for hippies who run a marijuana farm, instead.
Gene, what are you doing?
Tanning! It's the middle
of summer
and I look like a British lady.
Hey, slow it down,
George Hamilton.
You want to look
like an Oompa Loompa?
Gene, if you want a tan,
why don't you go out in
the burger suit for a while
and hand out samples?
No way. I don't
want burger lines.
Package for Bob Belcher.
Dad, that's you!
Thanks, Gene.
A mystery package!
What could it be?
Huh, the return address
is my dad's old restaurant.
That's weird.
There's a note.
It's from those ladies
who bought your dad's place.
"Dear Bob,
the workmen found this box
"when they were redoing
the air vents.
"We were afraid it had
vibrators in it.
Boy, were we relieved."
If you think about it, any box
could have vibrators in it.
Oh, my God, it's my toys!
Wow, I haven't seen these
since I was just a kid.
I used to hide it
from my dad
because he didn't want me
to have toys during work hours.
Joke's on you, Dad.
Someone filled your
toy box with trash.
What? No.
This is my friend Brilly.
A scouring pad?
A scouring pal.
And my World War II
fighter plane.
And my dog, Mr. Doglavich.
That's soap.
Yeah, but see?
It's sort of shaped
like a dog. Mm...
What is this feeling
I'm feeling right now?
It's like I'm sad
for another person?
Is that a thing?
Am I going crazy?!
Look, times were different
when I was growing up.
We had to make our own fun.
Here, try these.
You'll see.
Ow.
See?
Now I get it.
If anything, this is too fun.
I want to pet the dog!
No, Mr. Doglavich!
Sorry, Dad.
He's dead.
You could take him
to the soap vet.
No, I can't, Tina!
We're going to bury him
out back.
Everybody get your coats.
Bob, stop it now.
No!
It's summer!
That's my dog!
He's dead!
Go take a time-out.
I'm gonna write
a eulogy.
I knew you so briefly,
you dead soap dog.
Oh!
I think I can fix him.
There you go, good as new.
Who's a good boy?
Woof-woof!
Fetch, Mr. Doglavich.
Get back to work, Bob.
Die!
Get back to work, Bob.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Get back to work,
Bobby.
Oh, my God.
Lin, I just
realized something.
I had a bad childhood.
Yeah, I know.
What do you mean you know?
Look at you.
What do you mean, look at me?
Look at how you stand.
People who had
good childhoods
don't stand like that.
I thought I remembered having
fun working at my dad's place,
but I was just working...
all the time.
And snuggling with steel wool.
And petting a piece of soap.
I guess talking about it helps.
Kids, get back to work.
Get back to work...
Oh, my God! Linda!
Kids, your mother and I
have an announcement.
Buh, buh-buh-buh,
buh-baa!
You're having
another baby?
At your age?!
Sick!
I knew
I spotted a bump.
What?! No, I'm gassy.
No, guys.
Okay, here it goes.
Kids...
you're fired.
Buh, buh-buh-ba!
Ex-squeeze me?
You're all fired.
I deserve this.
I've been coasting.
This isn't punishment,
it's, it's a gift.
My dad made me work
all the time.
And that box of toys...
Horrible toys.
Yes, horrible toys,
made me realize
that I never had any fun.
So, I want you to go out
and have the summer
and the childhood
that I never had.
So go out! Go outside!
Go be children!
But what are
we supposed to do?
Have a water balloon fight.
Play in a vacant lot.
Ride bikes.
I'm more of an
indoor boy.
I can't defend myself,
I've been declawed. Gene...
All right, well, I guess
we're gonna take off.
Arrivedercis.
Bye, Mom and Dad.
Keep in touch.
Don't change.
See you in the fall.
Tina, you can come
home at night.
Ah, phew.
I'm glad you kids store
your bikes in my garage.
It's fun for me.
Sometimes I pretend
I have three
kids of my own
and these are
their bikes.
Which kid is your favorite?
Jeremy.
He needs me the most.
The twins have each other.
Whoa.
Sometimes I come in here
just so I can trip over 'em.
I'll be, like,
"The kids left
their bikes here again."
All right!
Summer fun starts now!
Oh.
♪ Fun, fun... fun-fun
♪ Fun, fun... fun-fun
♪ Fun-fun-fun,
fun-fun-fun ♪
♪ Fun-fun-fun, fun-fun-fun,
fun-fun-fun! ♪
Ah! Diapers!
So, how would you
feel about, um...
how do I say this?...
uh, deferred payments?
I wouldn't pay
you now, but...
eventually I would,
in the future.
What I'm gonna ask you
isn't totally legal.
It's not a sex thing,
though, so...
Okay, I guess I'll keep these
resumés on file.
Maybe we can get
an unpaid intern.
Ooh, they could
do coffee runs!
Lin, we have coffee here.
I don't care.
No one's ever gotten me coffee!
- Everybody on the floor!
- This is a stickup!
Mickey! Ah,
you're out of the slammer.
Bob, Linda. bring it in. Aw...
Hey...
how's my favorite
hostage?
I thought you got
eight years.
You didn't escape,
did you?
It turned out
the prosecutor was on meth
for the entire trial!
And he drove his car
into a peacock sanctuary.
Now he's in jail
and I'm out!
Oh, good for you.
I'll get you a beer
A beer'd be nice.
Hey, where are those
whippersnappers of yours, huh?
Uh, I fired them.
What? No!
That sounds harsh.
We laid them off
to go enjoy themselves.
Ah, yeah, sure,
breaking windows,
lightin' fires, huffin' paint,
Um...
sniffin' glue,
blowin' up houses,
settin' rats in a bottle and
throwin' 'em down a river and...
No, none of those things.
So, what's next for you,
Mickey?
What're you gonna do?
Goin' straight, Bob!
Gonna get a job.
Find myself a gal.
Or... I don't know what
people do nowadays.
Build a-a barn maybe.
Um... Paint the barn with the gal.
Put the gal in
the barn and...
Yeah, maybe.
You know, American dream.
Gal and a barn.
Yeah.
Hey, Bobby, psst.
What psst?
We can both hear you, Lin.
What about ickey-May
for the ob-jay?
I'm pretty sure he can
understand you, Lin.
What language is that?
Oh. Uh... wow.
Well, Mickey, if you're serious
about finding a job,
we-we need someone
for the summer. Oh.
We can't pay you
that much, honey.
Not even what we're
legally supposed to.
I'd work for meals
and a cot in the basement.
Um... I guess you could sleep
in the basement.
Oh, yay! Oh, I love it!
We got the team back
together again, huh?
Oh!
The three amagos.
Olé!
Ugh! Summer is awful.
There's too much pressure
to enjoy yourself.
It's like New Year's Eve
for kids.
We should probably go
by the restaurant.
I bet that place is
falling apart without us by now.
Well, we've sown our wild oats.
Things got crazy!
Anyways, no need to grovel, Dad.
We're back.
We all said things
we didn't mean.
"You're fired."
You did not mean that.
It sounded very insincere
as I remember,
and I thought, "No."
Oh, my God,
is someone here?
Um...
Uh...
Hey, baby Bobs!
Kids, you remember Mickey.
You fired us
for a bank robber?
Hey!
Look, Mickey, we're back now,
so you can turn in your apron.
Louise, no.
You guys are just our
kids now, not our employees.
Is that all we are
to you, Dad?
Your children?!
Yes, and I want you
to go have fun.
Never!
Stop fighting it
and give it a chance!
You can't
make us leave.
Hell no, I won't go!
Hell no, I won't go!
Uh! why are you guys
stronger than me?
Pilates!
This is for
your own good!
Fine! We'll ride our bikes.
Oh, yeah, we'll
ride 'em so far
you'll never see us again!
Okay, bye, kids.
Have fun.
Bye, Mom.
Guys, I think we're lost.
I know.
And all this breathing
is making me hungry.
Blueberry bushes!
We're saved!
Is this a farm?
I thought those were extinct.
We can't just eat these berries.
They probably belong to someone.
If you don't want people
to eat your fruit,
grow it inside a safe.
I don't know how
animals do it.
Fruit is just bad,
and they know it.
Hello, children!
Farmers!
How did those get in there?
Don't worry, we've got
plenty of berries.
Eat as many as you want.
Or if you'd rather have
sandwiches,
we have plenty
at the house.
And lizards.
I'll eat both.
...and then I woke up nude
on horseback
in the forest,
and there she was,
my Beverly.
I had wandered away
from a community birthing
in a barn nearby.
She looked like a faerie queene
pooping under a tree.
♪ A faerie queene
pooping under a tree. ♪
30 years and five kids later,
and we're still doing it.
Ew...
Well, we've got
an empty nest now,
but we still
have our farm.
Our dad has a restaurant.
We used to work there,
but he fired us.
Oh, now, that's a shame.
We always let our kids
work here.
Beverly, I have
a crazy idea.
♪ They could work here...
♪ Work here.
We couldn't afford
to pay you much.
Just, say, ten dollars a day.
Ten dollars?!
I could start saving
for my Porsche Cayenne.
But Dad doesn't want us
to work.
Dad doesn't have to know.
Are we gonna send him a letter?
You gonna call him up? No.
You gonna find a phone and call
Dad and tell him stuff? No.
Seems like Dad told us to just
make our way, didn't he?
Well, I guess I don't want
any gaps in my resumé.
That's right.
You don't.
Good, because we've got
a lot you could do.
Yes, they could pick
the weed... s.
Great idea, Bev.
We have a terrible
weed problem.
I don't get it!
Morning, kids!
Can I get you anything?
I'll just have
your coffee.
Give it back.
I'll just have a sip.
Louise! No time, Louise.
We're late.
Late for what?
Late to... for our...
What
would we be late for?
It's not like we have
jobs or anything.
'Cause we're late
for the pier.
Yeah, we gotta go
to the pier.
Yeah, the pier.
To do our pier,
our rock stuff.
What's rock stuff?
What do you mean...?
Oh, droppin' rocks...
Yeah.
...in the water.
Sounds fun.
Yeah. Yeah. I can disorient a fish.
Nice.
Well, as long as
you kids are having fun.
Oh, yeah.
Ah.
Summer rocks
are the best rocks.
Boy, we should go.
Well, drop one for me.
I want your nuggets!
You two little critters
will be our pickers.
Now come with me.
Gene has tons of experience
picking his nose.
And my butt.
Tina, you'll be our
blueberry delivery girl.
Just remember, if
you get jammed up,
you don't know my name and you
don't know where this farm is.
I don't know where this farm is.
Exactly.
Ta-da!
Wow, Mickey, you handed out
the whole tray
of samples already?
Sure did, Bob.
And, ah, you don't mind
the burger suit?
I love it.
I love it.
I know who I am in this.
I'm the burger.
Right.
Sorry, it's a little tight.
But, yeah. It is.
It's incredibly snug.
It looks fine.
It's good.
I'm gonna need your help
taking this off, I think.
If that's all right?
Oh, uh, yeah, sure.
I'll, uh, try
and pull the...
No, you see, there's
snaps in the crotch
that my arms aren't long
enough to get down to.
If you could just...
this and that.
Yeah, I don't want to
touch down there, so...
Well, I need you to, 'cause
that's what I can't reach.
If you could root in there
real quick and just
pop 'em out.
Um... ugh.
Let me just, ah...
get in there.
Yeah, oh, okay,
it's hairy, yup.
- Ah, there you go.
- Thanks, man.
Whoa, Mickey. You're not
wearing any underwear.
Do not wear underwear in prison.
Someone could choke you with it.
Well, why don't you leave
the burger suit on then, huh?
All right.
Hey, Mickey's a pretty good worker,
huh? Yeah.
He's the helpful, enthusiastic
employee we've never had.
I wish he'd wear
underwear though.
Yeah, hold the pickle,
ha-ha!
And that's how
you pick the weeds!
Which ones are the weeds?
They all are.
Why are the weeds inside?
So that they aren't outside,
messing up the blueberries.
Why don't you just set
this whole greenhouse on fire?
Be done with it.
Oh, we're going to,
one dime at a time.
I'll sing you a work song.
♪ Well, we work
♪ And we work
and we work all day ♪
♪ Work, work, work
in America, work ♪
♪ And we workin' in the weeds
and American work ♪
♪ And workin' in the weeds
and a work, work, work ♪
♪ And worky-work-work,
and come on, Gene. ♪
♪ Pick up the pace, come on,
buddy, there we go. ♪
Good day. Hello.
Howdy.
Hi, I have your
blueberry delivery.
Hey all right,
new blueberry girl.
How's this batch,
pretty kind?
Yeah, kind to your body.
Because of antioxidants.
Hello, Belcher child.
Does your father know
what you're doing?
No, he thinks
I'm having summer fun. Good.
Let's keep it that way.
Let's keep it that way.
Ooh, blueberries.
I'm ready for a bake-off.
Tina?
Oh, it's just the refrigerator.
Hey, fridge.
You sure sounded like
Tina a second ago.
Wonder what she's
doing right now.
And I wonder
what Gene's doing.
Probably farting.
What's so funny?
The burger of the day, Bob.
I just noticed it.
The "Beets Me Burger."
That's brilliant.
It works on so many levels.
Well, it's not that good.
I mean...
Louise would come up with
a better one than that.
Like, she would write,
like, "Dia-beets-es Burger,
comes with insulin."
Oh... that's in poor taste, huh?
Sure, but that's what
makes it fun...
That doesn't sound fun.
It sounds hurtful.
That's a really
terrible disease.
Well, I know it is...
My grandmother had that disease.
Well, I'm sorry.
B.B. King has that disease.
Shut up, Mickey.
Sorry, but just hush.
Ten dollars
in my pocket,
Gene got bitten
by a lizard,
we're living
the dream, guys.
I just wish Mom and Dad
worked at the farm with us.
Yeah, I miss making
fun of Dad's B.O.
I'm too scared to make fun
of Cooper and Beverly's smell.
I think there's something
seriously wrong with them.
Hey blueberry girl,
do you have any extra
blueberries on you?
No. And don't ever come
here again, you hear me?
My parents don't know I
deliver blueberries, get it?
Okay, whatever.
No.
Do you get it?
Don't... come...
here... again.
Okay, bye.
That was a close one.
People love fruit!
I will never
understand it.
It's not that good.
Bob.
Hmm?
Mickey's playing
his calypso again.
Can you say somethin'?
You go.
Come on, get up.
All right.
♪ Is that a parakeet
in my hat? ♪
♪ No, no, no
♪ That's not a parakeet
in ya hat ♪
♪ Is that an alligator
Mickey?
♪ Want to eat the parakeet?
Mickey?
♪ The alligator say...
Mickey?
♪ No, I do not
want the parakeet ♪
Hello, Mickey?!
Ha-ho-ho, hey, Bob!
What's that?
Oh, this?
Oh, you've never seen
this movie? It's great.
It's a guy, he
wants to be big.
Then he gets big, he doesn't
want to be big anymore,
then he gets small,
but the suit's too big.
I'm talking about
behind the poster, Mickey.
Oh, um...
Are you making
a hole in my wall?
No, no, no.
I was fixing that.
Fixing it with a pick?
Yes.
Mickey?
All right, look, Bob.
Don't tell anybody, but I'm
digging my way to the bank.
What? Come on, no.
It's the perfect crime.
I've got double jeopardy!
What do you mean
you have double jeopardy?
I'm robbing the
same bank, Bob.
They can't try me
for it again.
Yes, they can, Mickey.
Look, remember how
you held me hostage?
Of course I do, silly.
That's how we met.
And there were SWAT teams, and
helicopters, and negotiators?
Yeah, it was great, right?
It wasn't great, Mickey.
That's the only time
in my whole life
I ever want to have SWAT guys
pointing guns at my face.
Just that one time.
Never again. Got it?
So, are you cool with me
finishing my tunnel?
No. You may not tunnel
through my basement to a bank.
I forbid it!
Fine, then, Bob,
why don't you fire me?
Okay, you're fired.
You're firing me?!
Look, you can stay tonight,
but tomorrow you're gonna
have to find another place.
Okay. That's cool.
I'm taking the pick.
No!
Oh, Bob. I tell you.
Uh-huh.
It's gonna be really tough
to find a job within 50 feet
of the bank that will also
let me sleep in the basement.
Hmm.
Well, I'm sure
there's something.
Oh, I'm so clumsy.
Better clean that up, Mickey.
Actually, I fired Mickey.
And good news,
I'm hiring you all back
full time, starting right now.
So you can clean it up!
Uh... sorry, Dad,
but we can't do that.
Look, I know what I said before
about wanting you to have fun,
but the thing is,
my childhood was terrible
because I actually
had to work,
and my dad never
smiled or laughed.
Yeah, mine neither.
And he had a drinking problem.
Oh, been there, man.
Open up some fresh
wounds here, Bob.
All right, Mickey, enough.
All right.
I spent last night
thinking about this,
and I'm a pretty good dad.
Yeah, Mom's the one
with the drinking problem.
The problem is I don't have
a friggin' drink in my hand!
The point is, you guys don't
have a hard life, you know?
You just goof around.
And you should be
goofing around
here at home, with us.
Dad, we've moved on.
We got other jobs.
What?!
We're working girls now!
You're a girl?
Yes.
Nah.
Yes.
He's not.
He's not.
No.
Tell that to my vagina!
You got other jobs? What do
you mean, you got other jobs?
What about the restaurant?
Oh, that's adorable, Dad.
You thought that you could snap
your fancy dad fingers
and we'd come
crawling back.
You thought if you didn't
want us, nobody else would?
Well, guess what, Cooper
and Beverly wanted us!
Who's Cooper and Beverly?
Cooper and Beverly?
They're farmers.
And they smell great,
so don't even bother asking.
They still have farms?
Where do they have farms?
Way out in the country
where a man can
breathe the air.
Sorry, Dad. I hope we
can still be friends.
Wait. Wait.
What are they paying you?
I'll match it.
Ten dollars a day.
Never mind.
Have a good day. Bye, guys!
Hey, is that blueberry delivery
girl with the glasses here?
You mean Tina?
She's not here.
Well, I need to return
these blueberries.
Can you tell her they were
mostly stems and seeds?
I want a replacement
or my 40 bucks back.
Okay, I'll let her know.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
That was weird.
Wow, 40 bucks?
Those are
expensive blueberries.
They're probably organic.
Oh, they smell like
a music festival.
Huh, you're right.
Oh, my God, Lin.
Are the kids
working on a pot farm?
Ooh.
Oh, yeah, the old
false-bottom blueberry box.
I remember these
from when I was a kid.
We have to go
get the kids.
But we have no idea
where this pot farm is.
I may have some idea of
exactly where it is.
No, wait, go back,
go back, go back, go back.
Wow, this isn't
what I pictured.
It's nice.
Hey, I've been there, buddy.
Remember, they can't cage this.
What are you doing
on our property?
We want our kids.
What kids? There are no kids here.
Hi, Dad.
Oh, hey...
Hello.
Oh, you mean our kids.
Your kids?
Those are our kids!
Come on, guys.
Get in the car.
Now. Let's go.
Mom, Dad, we already
explained this.
We work here now. Okay?
You're acting
a little desperado.
No, Louise,
you no longer work here.
Dad, small farms are
the backbone of America.
Willie Nelson would
love this place!
Yes, he would, Gene, but not for
the reason you're thinking of.
Oh, no. No, no.
No SWAT teams! No guns!
Code red, Mother!
Code red!
B-Bob, what do I do?
I've never been
an innocent bystander before.
Just get your hands up, Mickey.
Eh, like that?
What?
No. Up.
Like this?
The... you're doing
like kitty paws.
Up. Up. Higher.
Higher? Like that?
No, all the way up.
Like past my shoulders?
Get down! Everybody down!
Hey, I know that guy.
Hi.
Hi.
Pedal, Daddy, pedal!
Right! Left! Right! Left!
♪ Right, baby, left
♪ Right, left
Stop!
And, uh, oh,
let's take a right.
Let's keep it moving.
♪ Right, and turning
♪ And a little more right.
Stop, please.
Oh, my God.
♪ We got to get out of here
before they catch us ♪
Whoa! Now this is summer fun!
Oh, hey, how you doing, guys?
♪ Let's head over this way.
I'm getting a little dizzy.
And that's why I believe
blueberries should be
decriminalized.
Louise, sit down.
Okay, that's recess.
Uh, be cool out there.
Don't Bogart the snacks.
And if the po-po rolls up,
your first call's
to your lawyer, not your mom.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Tanning! It's the middle
of summer
and I look like a British lady.
Hey, slow it down,
George Hamilton.
You want to look
like an Oompa Loompa?
Gene, if you want a tan,
why don't you go out in
the burger suit for a while
and hand out samples?
No way. I don't
want burger lines.
Package for Bob Belcher.
Dad, that's you!
Thanks, Gene.
A mystery package!
What could it be?
Huh, the return address
is my dad's old restaurant.
That's weird.
There's a note.
It's from those ladies
who bought your dad's place.
"Dear Bob,
the workmen found this box
"when they were redoing
the air vents.
"We were afraid it had
vibrators in it.
Boy, were we relieved."
If you think about it, any box
could have vibrators in it.
Oh, my God, it's my toys!
Wow, I haven't seen these
since I was just a kid.
I used to hide it
from my dad
because he didn't want me
to have toys during work hours.
Joke's on you, Dad.
Someone filled your
toy box with trash.
What? No.
This is my friend Brilly.
A scouring pad?
A scouring pal.
And my World War II
fighter plane.
And my dog, Mr. Doglavich.
That's soap.
Yeah, but see?
It's sort of shaped
like a dog. Mm...
What is this feeling
I'm feeling right now?
It's like I'm sad
for another person?
Is that a thing?
Am I going crazy?!
Look, times were different
when I was growing up.
We had to make our own fun.
Here, try these.
You'll see.
Ow.
See?
Now I get it.
If anything, this is too fun.
I want to pet the dog!
No, Mr. Doglavich!
Sorry, Dad.
He's dead.
You could take him
to the soap vet.
No, I can't, Tina!
We're going to bury him
out back.
Everybody get your coats.
Bob, stop it now.
No!
It's summer!
That's my dog!
He's dead!
Go take a time-out.
I'm gonna write
a eulogy.
I knew you so briefly,
you dead soap dog.
Oh!
I think I can fix him.
There you go, good as new.
Who's a good boy?
Woof-woof!
Fetch, Mr. Doglavich.
Get back to work, Bob.
Die!
Get back to work, Bob.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
Get back to work,
Bobby.
Oh, my God.
Lin, I just
realized something.
I had a bad childhood.
Yeah, I know.
What do you mean you know?
Look at you.
What do you mean, look at me?
Look at how you stand.
People who had
good childhoods
don't stand like that.
I thought I remembered having
fun working at my dad's place,
but I was just working...
all the time.
And snuggling with steel wool.
And petting a piece of soap.
I guess talking about it helps.
Kids, get back to work.
Get back to work...
Oh, my God! Linda!
Kids, your mother and I
have an announcement.
Buh, buh-buh-buh,
buh-baa!
You're having
another baby?
At your age?!
Sick!
I knew
I spotted a bump.
What?! No, I'm gassy.
No, guys.
Okay, here it goes.
Kids...
you're fired.
Buh, buh-buh-ba!
Ex-squeeze me?
You're all fired.
I deserve this.
I've been coasting.
This isn't punishment,
it's, it's a gift.
My dad made me work
all the time.
And that box of toys...
Horrible toys.
Yes, horrible toys,
made me realize
that I never had any fun.
So, I want you to go out
and have the summer
and the childhood
that I never had.
So go out! Go outside!
Go be children!
But what are
we supposed to do?
Have a water balloon fight.
Play in a vacant lot.
Ride bikes.
I'm more of an
indoor boy.
I can't defend myself,
I've been declawed. Gene...
All right, well, I guess
we're gonna take off.
Arrivedercis.
Bye, Mom and Dad.
Keep in touch.
Don't change.
See you in the fall.
Tina, you can come
home at night.
Ah, phew.
I'm glad you kids store
your bikes in my garage.
It's fun for me.
Sometimes I pretend
I have three
kids of my own
and these are
their bikes.
Which kid is your favorite?
Jeremy.
He needs me the most.
The twins have each other.
Whoa.
Sometimes I come in here
just so I can trip over 'em.
I'll be, like,
"The kids left
their bikes here again."
All right!
Summer fun starts now!
Oh.
♪ Fun, fun... fun-fun
♪ Fun, fun... fun-fun
♪ Fun-fun-fun,
fun-fun-fun ♪
♪ Fun-fun-fun, fun-fun-fun,
fun-fun-fun! ♪
Ah! Diapers!
So, how would you
feel about, um...
how do I say this?...
uh, deferred payments?
I wouldn't pay
you now, but...
eventually I would,
in the future.
What I'm gonna ask you
isn't totally legal.
It's not a sex thing,
though, so...
Okay, I guess I'll keep these
resumés on file.
Maybe we can get
an unpaid intern.
Ooh, they could
do coffee runs!
Lin, we have coffee here.
I don't care.
No one's ever gotten me coffee!
- Everybody on the floor!
- This is a stickup!
Mickey! Ah,
you're out of the slammer.
Bob, Linda. bring it in. Aw...
Hey...
how's my favorite
hostage?
I thought you got
eight years.
You didn't escape,
did you?
It turned out
the prosecutor was on meth
for the entire trial!
And he drove his car
into a peacock sanctuary.
Now he's in jail
and I'm out!
Oh, good for you.
I'll get you a beer
A beer'd be nice.
Hey, where are those
whippersnappers of yours, huh?
Uh, I fired them.
What? No!
That sounds harsh.
We laid them off
to go enjoy themselves.
Ah, yeah, sure,
breaking windows,
lightin' fires, huffin' paint,
Um...
sniffin' glue,
blowin' up houses,
settin' rats in a bottle and
throwin' 'em down a river and...
No, none of those things.
So, what's next for you,
Mickey?
What're you gonna do?
Goin' straight, Bob!
Gonna get a job.
Find myself a gal.
Or... I don't know what
people do nowadays.
Build a-a barn maybe.
Um... Paint the barn with the gal.
Put the gal in
the barn and...
Yeah, maybe.
You know, American dream.
Gal and a barn.
Yeah.
Hey, Bobby, psst.
What psst?
We can both hear you, Lin.
What about ickey-May
for the ob-jay?
I'm pretty sure he can
understand you, Lin.
What language is that?
Oh. Uh... wow.
Well, Mickey, if you're serious
about finding a job,
we-we need someone
for the summer. Oh.
We can't pay you
that much, honey.
Not even what we're
legally supposed to.
I'd work for meals
and a cot in the basement.
Um... I guess you could sleep
in the basement.
Oh, yay! Oh, I love it!
We got the team back
together again, huh?
Oh!
The three amagos.
Olé!
Ugh! Summer is awful.
There's too much pressure
to enjoy yourself.
It's like New Year's Eve
for kids.
We should probably go
by the restaurant.
I bet that place is
falling apart without us by now.
Well, we've sown our wild oats.
Things got crazy!
Anyways, no need to grovel, Dad.
We're back.
We all said things
we didn't mean.
"You're fired."
You did not mean that.
It sounded very insincere
as I remember,
and I thought, "No."
Oh, my God,
is someone here?
Um...
Uh...
Hey, baby Bobs!
Kids, you remember Mickey.
You fired us
for a bank robber?
Hey!
Look, Mickey, we're back now,
so you can turn in your apron.
Louise, no.
You guys are just our
kids now, not our employees.
Is that all we are
to you, Dad?
Your children?!
Yes, and I want you
to go have fun.
Never!
Stop fighting it
and give it a chance!
You can't
make us leave.
Hell no, I won't go!
Hell no, I won't go!
Uh! why are you guys
stronger than me?
Pilates!
This is for
your own good!
Fine! We'll ride our bikes.
Oh, yeah, we'll
ride 'em so far
you'll never see us again!
Okay, bye, kids.
Have fun.
Bye, Mom.
Guys, I think we're lost.
I know.
And all this breathing
is making me hungry.
Blueberry bushes!
We're saved!
Is this a farm?
I thought those were extinct.
We can't just eat these berries.
They probably belong to someone.
If you don't want people
to eat your fruit,
grow it inside a safe.
I don't know how
animals do it.
Fruit is just bad,
and they know it.
Hello, children!
Farmers!
How did those get in there?
Don't worry, we've got
plenty of berries.
Eat as many as you want.
Or if you'd rather have
sandwiches,
we have plenty
at the house.
And lizards.
I'll eat both.
...and then I woke up nude
on horseback
in the forest,
and there she was,
my Beverly.
I had wandered away
from a community birthing
in a barn nearby.
She looked like a faerie queene
pooping under a tree.
♪ A faerie queene
pooping under a tree. ♪
30 years and five kids later,
and we're still doing it.
Ew...
Well, we've got
an empty nest now,
but we still
have our farm.
Our dad has a restaurant.
We used to work there,
but he fired us.
Oh, now, that's a shame.
We always let our kids
work here.
Beverly, I have
a crazy idea.
♪ They could work here...
♪ Work here.
We couldn't afford
to pay you much.
Just, say, ten dollars a day.
Ten dollars?!
I could start saving
for my Porsche Cayenne.
But Dad doesn't want us
to work.
Dad doesn't have to know.
Are we gonna send him a letter?
You gonna call him up? No.
You gonna find a phone and call
Dad and tell him stuff? No.
Seems like Dad told us to just
make our way, didn't he?
Well, I guess I don't want
any gaps in my resumé.
That's right.
You don't.
Good, because we've got
a lot you could do.
Yes, they could pick
the weed... s.
Great idea, Bev.
We have a terrible
weed problem.
I don't get it!
Morning, kids!
Can I get you anything?
I'll just have
your coffee.
Give it back.
I'll just have a sip.
Louise! No time, Louise.
We're late.
Late for what?
Late to... for our...
What
would we be late for?
It's not like we have
jobs or anything.
'Cause we're late
for the pier.
Yeah, we gotta go
to the pier.
Yeah, the pier.
To do our pier,
our rock stuff.
What's rock stuff?
What do you mean...?
Oh, droppin' rocks...
Yeah.
...in the water.
Sounds fun.
Yeah. Yeah. I can disorient a fish.
Nice.
Well, as long as
you kids are having fun.
Oh, yeah.
Ah.
Summer rocks
are the best rocks.
Boy, we should go.
Well, drop one for me.
I want your nuggets!
You two little critters
will be our pickers.
Now come with me.
Gene has tons of experience
picking his nose.
And my butt.
Tina, you'll be our
blueberry delivery girl.
Just remember, if
you get jammed up,
you don't know my name and you
don't know where this farm is.
I don't know where this farm is.
Exactly.
Ta-da!
Wow, Mickey, you handed out
the whole tray
of samples already?
Sure did, Bob.
And, ah, you don't mind
the burger suit?
I love it.
I love it.
I know who I am in this.
I'm the burger.
Right.
Sorry, it's a little tight.
But, yeah. It is.
It's incredibly snug.
It looks fine.
It's good.
I'm gonna need your help
taking this off, I think.
If that's all right?
Oh, uh, yeah, sure.
I'll, uh, try
and pull the...
No, you see, there's
snaps in the crotch
that my arms aren't long
enough to get down to.
If you could just...
this and that.
Yeah, I don't want to
touch down there, so...
Well, I need you to, 'cause
that's what I can't reach.
If you could root in there
real quick and just
pop 'em out.
Um... ugh.
Let me just, ah...
get in there.
Yeah, oh, okay,
it's hairy, yup.
- Ah, there you go.
- Thanks, man.
Whoa, Mickey. You're not
wearing any underwear.
Do not wear underwear in prison.
Someone could choke you with it.
Well, why don't you leave
the burger suit on then, huh?
All right.
Hey, Mickey's a pretty good worker,
huh? Yeah.
He's the helpful, enthusiastic
employee we've never had.
I wish he'd wear
underwear though.
Yeah, hold the pickle,
ha-ha!
And that's how
you pick the weeds!
Which ones are the weeds?
They all are.
Why are the weeds inside?
So that they aren't outside,
messing up the blueberries.
Why don't you just set
this whole greenhouse on fire?
Be done with it.
Oh, we're going to,
one dime at a time.
I'll sing you a work song.
♪ Well, we work
♪ And we work
and we work all day ♪
♪ Work, work, work
in America, work ♪
♪ And we workin' in the weeds
and American work ♪
♪ And workin' in the weeds
and a work, work, work ♪
♪ And worky-work-work,
and come on, Gene. ♪
♪ Pick up the pace, come on,
buddy, there we go. ♪
Good day. Hello.
Howdy.
Hi, I have your
blueberry delivery.
Hey all right,
new blueberry girl.
How's this batch,
pretty kind?
Yeah, kind to your body.
Because of antioxidants.
Hello, Belcher child.
Does your father know
what you're doing?
No, he thinks
I'm having summer fun. Good.
Let's keep it that way.
Let's keep it that way.
Ooh, blueberries.
I'm ready for a bake-off.
Tina?
Oh, it's just the refrigerator.
Hey, fridge.
You sure sounded like
Tina a second ago.
Wonder what she's
doing right now.
And I wonder
what Gene's doing.
Probably farting.
What's so funny?
The burger of the day, Bob.
I just noticed it.
The "Beets Me Burger."
That's brilliant.
It works on so many levels.
Well, it's not that good.
I mean...
Louise would come up with
a better one than that.
Like, she would write,
like, "Dia-beets-es Burger,
comes with insulin."
Oh... that's in poor taste, huh?
Sure, but that's what
makes it fun...
That doesn't sound fun.
It sounds hurtful.
That's a really
terrible disease.
Well, I know it is...
My grandmother had that disease.
Well, I'm sorry.
B.B. King has that disease.
Shut up, Mickey.
Sorry, but just hush.
Ten dollars
in my pocket,
Gene got bitten
by a lizard,
we're living
the dream, guys.
I just wish Mom and Dad
worked at the farm with us.
Yeah, I miss making
fun of Dad's B.O.
I'm too scared to make fun
of Cooper and Beverly's smell.
I think there's something
seriously wrong with them.
Hey blueberry girl,
do you have any extra
blueberries on you?
No. And don't ever come
here again, you hear me?
My parents don't know I
deliver blueberries, get it?
Okay, whatever.
No.
Do you get it?
Don't... come...
here... again.
Okay, bye.
That was a close one.
People love fruit!
I will never
understand it.
It's not that good.
Bob.
Hmm?
Mickey's playing
his calypso again.
Can you say somethin'?
You go.
Come on, get up.
All right.
♪ Is that a parakeet
in my hat? ♪
♪ No, no, no
♪ That's not a parakeet
in ya hat ♪
♪ Is that an alligator
Mickey?
♪ Want to eat the parakeet?
Mickey?
♪ The alligator say...
Mickey?
♪ No, I do not
want the parakeet ♪
Hello, Mickey?!
Ha-ho-ho, hey, Bob!
What's that?
Oh, this?
Oh, you've never seen
this movie? It's great.
It's a guy, he
wants to be big.
Then he gets big, he doesn't
want to be big anymore,
then he gets small,
but the suit's too big.
I'm talking about
behind the poster, Mickey.
Oh, um...
Are you making
a hole in my wall?
No, no, no.
I was fixing that.
Fixing it with a pick?
Yes.
Mickey?
All right, look, Bob.
Don't tell anybody, but I'm
digging my way to the bank.
What? Come on, no.
It's the perfect crime.
I've got double jeopardy!
What do you mean
you have double jeopardy?
I'm robbing the
same bank, Bob.
They can't try me
for it again.
Yes, they can, Mickey.
Look, remember how
you held me hostage?
Of course I do, silly.
That's how we met.
And there were SWAT teams, and
helicopters, and negotiators?
Yeah, it was great, right?
It wasn't great, Mickey.
That's the only time
in my whole life
I ever want to have SWAT guys
pointing guns at my face.
Just that one time.
Never again. Got it?
So, are you cool with me
finishing my tunnel?
No. You may not tunnel
through my basement to a bank.
I forbid it!
Fine, then, Bob,
why don't you fire me?
Okay, you're fired.
You're firing me?!
Look, you can stay tonight,
but tomorrow you're gonna
have to find another place.
Okay. That's cool.
I'm taking the pick.
No!
Oh, Bob. I tell you.
Uh-huh.
It's gonna be really tough
to find a job within 50 feet
of the bank that will also
let me sleep in the basement.
Hmm.
Well, I'm sure
there's something.
Oh, I'm so clumsy.
Better clean that up, Mickey.
Actually, I fired Mickey.
And good news,
I'm hiring you all back
full time, starting right now.
So you can clean it up!
Uh... sorry, Dad,
but we can't do that.
Look, I know what I said before
about wanting you to have fun,
but the thing is,
my childhood was terrible
because I actually
had to work,
and my dad never
smiled or laughed.
Yeah, mine neither.
And he had a drinking problem.
Oh, been there, man.
Open up some fresh
wounds here, Bob.
All right, Mickey, enough.
All right.
I spent last night
thinking about this,
and I'm a pretty good dad.
Yeah, Mom's the one
with the drinking problem.
The problem is I don't have
a friggin' drink in my hand!
The point is, you guys don't
have a hard life, you know?
You just goof around.
And you should be
goofing around
here at home, with us.
Dad, we've moved on.
We got other jobs.
What?!
We're working girls now!
You're a girl?
Yes.
Nah.
Yes.
He's not.
He's not.
No.
Tell that to my vagina!
You got other jobs? What do
you mean, you got other jobs?
What about the restaurant?
Oh, that's adorable, Dad.
You thought that you could snap
your fancy dad fingers
and we'd come
crawling back.
You thought if you didn't
want us, nobody else would?
Well, guess what, Cooper
and Beverly wanted us!
Who's Cooper and Beverly?
Cooper and Beverly?
They're farmers.
And they smell great,
so don't even bother asking.
They still have farms?
Where do they have farms?
Way out in the country
where a man can
breathe the air.
Sorry, Dad. I hope we
can still be friends.
Wait. Wait.
What are they paying you?
I'll match it.
Ten dollars a day.
Never mind.
Have a good day. Bye, guys!
Hey, is that blueberry delivery
girl with the glasses here?
You mean Tina?
She's not here.
Well, I need to return
these blueberries.
Can you tell her they were
mostly stems and seeds?
I want a replacement
or my 40 bucks back.
Okay, I'll let her know.
Okay, bye.
Bye.
That was weird.
Wow, 40 bucks?
Those are
expensive blueberries.
They're probably organic.
Oh, they smell like
a music festival.
Huh, you're right.
Oh, my God, Lin.
Are the kids
working on a pot farm?
Ooh.
Oh, yeah, the old
false-bottom blueberry box.
I remember these
from when I was a kid.
We have to go
get the kids.
But we have no idea
where this pot farm is.
I may have some idea of
exactly where it is.
No, wait, go back,
go back, go back, go back.
Wow, this isn't
what I pictured.
It's nice.
Hey, I've been there, buddy.
Remember, they can't cage this.
What are you doing
on our property?
We want our kids.
What kids? There are no kids here.
Hi, Dad.
Oh, hey...
Hello.
Oh, you mean our kids.
Your kids?
Those are our kids!
Come on, guys.
Get in the car.
Now. Let's go.
Mom, Dad, we already
explained this.
We work here now. Okay?
You're acting
a little desperado.
No, Louise,
you no longer work here.
Dad, small farms are
the backbone of America.
Willie Nelson would
love this place!
Yes, he would, Gene, but not for
the reason you're thinking of.
Oh, no. No, no.
No SWAT teams! No guns!
Code red, Mother!
Code red!
B-Bob, what do I do?
I've never been
an innocent bystander before.
Just get your hands up, Mickey.
Eh, like that?
What?
No. Up.
Like this?
The... you're doing
like kitty paws.
Up. Up. Higher.
Higher? Like that?
No, all the way up.
Like past my shoulders?
Get down! Everybody down!
Hey, I know that guy.
Hi.
Hi.
Pedal, Daddy, pedal!
Right! Left! Right! Left!
♪ Right, baby, left
♪ Right, left
Stop!
And, uh, oh,
let's take a right.
Let's keep it moving.
♪ Right, and turning
♪ And a little more right.
Stop, please.
Oh, my God.
♪ We got to get out of here
before they catch us ♪
Whoa! Now this is summer fun!
Oh, hey, how you doing, guys?
♪ Let's head over this way.
I'm getting a little dizzy.
And that's why I believe
blueberries should be
decriminalized.
Louise, sit down.
Okay, that's recess.
Uh, be cool out there.
Don't Bogart the snacks.
And if the po-po rolls up,
your first call's
to your lawyer, not your mom.
Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.