Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 3, Episode 19 - Family Fracas - full transcript
The Belchers appear on a television game show.
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
Bob, we're gonna miss the
beginning of the movie.
Plus, I'm smuggling chocolate in my pants.
We got to get there before it melts.
I'm gonna get it. Just a sec.
Ugh! Can you roll down
the windows back here?
I'm starting to breathe in Tina's breath.
I can't. They're broken.
I think I forgot to
brush this morning. Did I?
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Hey, who am I?
I'm Bob's car!
Good one, J.P.
Uh, not a good one, Jimmy.
Started right up.
- They went inside, Dad.
- Oh.
Start driving! Gene
just took off his shoes!
And my socks!
Why don't you wash your children?
Oh, great. Can't I just take
my family to a stupid movie?
Dog Prom 3D is not a stupid movie!
Are we gonna just leave
our car there like that?
That's what we're gonna do
when Dad and Mom break down.
Leave them by the side of the road!
Hey, guys, you want to
see a live TV show taping?
- Do I!
- Give me that.
"Come to a taping of Family Fracas."
What's Family Fracas?
It's a game show where they
make families do weird stuff
and then dump foam all over them.
I'm into weird stuff and foam. Can we go?
We should go home and call a tow truck.
The car's not going anywhere, Bobby.
Come on, it'll be fun.
Please, Dad?
- Please, Dad!
- Come on!
- Come on, come on. Come on.
- Please!
Please!
Oh, look! Pam's Court!
I love the way she bangs that gavel. Bang!
- Aah!- Hey, isn't that
Pam's ex-husband Chuck?
Oh, my God.
- What's he doing here?
- Aah!
- Oh, hey, Chuck.
- Hello, Belchers.
Long time no see since you got
my show canceled and me fired.
A boobity boobity boobity boo!
- Linda, nice to see you dressed again.
- Thank you.
Yeah. Sorry about that. It...
Water under the bridge, Bob.
- Oh, good.
- Dark, dirty water.
- Under a horrible bridge.
- Um...
Oh, but all is well now.
You're looking at the
new host of Family Fracas!
Chuck, we got a problem.
- The Morgan family just dropped out of the show.
- Aah.
Food poisoning. Gross!
We got to find another family
of five in the next ten minutes.
But how the heck are we gonna do that?
The heck right here.
Yeah! We're a family of five.
No, we're not. One, two, three, four.
Oh, yes we are!
Harry, this is a bad idea.
No idea's a bad idea.
I like this guy!
I... I don't know.
Grand prize is a brand-new minivan.
Dad, this is a no-brainer.
- Dad, come on!
- No, no. No, no, no.
Bobby! If we win the minivan,
we can put the car out of its misery.
No. What the hell. Let's do it!
- No!
- Fantastic! Hooray for Family Fracas!
It's time for Family Fracas!
Here's your host... Chuck Charles!
Hiya, folks!
- Western Med...
- Whoa. Is that Bob?
Let's welcome back the reigning
champs, the O'Donnell family!
And competing against the
O'Donnells are the Belchers.
- Hi!
- Hi, Linda.
Look. Tina's on Family Fracas.
My cousin was gonna be on that show,
but he didn't want to wear
that outfit. I don't blame him.
Belchers, introduce yourselves.
Uh, well, I'm Bob, and
this is my wife Linda.
Don't look at my hair.
I didn't know I was gonna be on TV.
And this is my daughter Louise.
It's Louise! * And she is gonna win. *
Okay, okay, okeydoke. And that one.
That's Gene.
Camera, take the day off!
I added ten pounds to myself!
And the last one's Tina.
Hi. I'm Tina. I like
horses, music and boys.
Hi, boys. I'm Tina.
Okay, that's more than enough.
All right, let's get Frackin'!
It's time for the Brain Drain!
Well, it looks like these
guys have lost their marbles.
The first team to fill their brain
with these wins the challenge.
And what does the other team get?
Foamed!
That's right... foamed.
On your mark, get set, go!
Are you trying to distract
me by holding my hand?
Huh, what? Owen, I feel it, too.
But right now, we're competitors.
I can't be sweet on you
before I beat on you.
Tina, marble me!
Oh, right.
Done!
I ate it! I ate it!
Num, num, num. I like it!
First team to remove all the
flies from their soup wins.
Losing team gets... face full of foam!
- All right, Mom, you ready? You pumped?
- Yeah!
- Slap my face!
- What?
- Slap it!
- Oh, uh...
I'll slap yours.
Oh, uh, I'm pumped! I'm pumped!
And... go!
- Done!
- Aha!
Yeah! Foam time!
The Belchers and the O'Donnells are tied.
Whoever wins the Human Claw
challenge wins the whole game.
I can smell that minivan.
I call shotgun! I call optional third row.
Ugh! The whole third row.
Children, shut up, shut up, shut up!
And Bob and Pat are gonna get dunked
into a pit full of blue balls.
The first one to find a yellow ball wins.
But they have to grab
the ball with their teeth.
Families, you control the crane.
No crane, no gain, am I right?
I am right!
My harness is a little tight
- around the groin...
- Go!
Come on, Dad! Make us proud for once!
I got one! I got one!
Dad won! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha!
Well, bash my head in with a brick.
The Belchers won.
- We won! We won!
- Yah!
- Yes! Yay!
- All right!
Yay, Bobby!
Wow, Tina won.
Honk, honk, honk!
O'Donnells, we are really
sorry to see you go.
You are good people.
Bye, Joey and Owen!
You're leaving in shame,
but you played a good game.
They were terrible.
And now the Belchers are
gonna spin the prize wheel
for a chance to win a brand-new minivan!
I got this.
Come on, come on, come on, minivan.
Oh, hey, a five-gallon
bucket of Fracas foam,
so you can get foamed at home.
Home foam! No!
Yes! It tastes good. Trust me.
The Belchers will return
tomorrow as the champs
and have another shot at the minivan.
Hey! We're coming back!
That's exactly what I just said.
Put your hands together
for the winning family!
You hear that?
We're the winning family!
Yes, they all hear that!
I have a microphone.
Congratulations to the most annoying
winning family in Fracas history.
- We won most annoying! Yeah!
- Hi, Ma!
You guys, this is so much
better than the minivan.
Mmm.
Gene, stop eating that crap.
You're just jealous that
I have frothy diarrhea.
Come on, you big idiot.
? La, la, la...
Hey, Jimmy, did you happen to
catch Family Fracas last night?
'Cause we were on it, and we won.
Oh yeah, is that the show
where the most pathetic family wins?
No, no. No, it isn't, Jimmy.
Why don't you watch it tonight?
I'll send you a shout out.
Oh, yeah, why don't you watch this?
Hey, I'm Bob! I'm on a
game show! Blah, blah, blah!
I... I don't want to watch that.
I'm gonna change the channel
with my remote that I have. Click!
- I'm still Bob, and I'm still on...
- Wait, wait, wait. Click.
This channel. I just shut
you off! I just shut you off...
- And I'm on that.
- So you can't say anything!
Now I'm on shut off
channel. I shut you off!
Belchers, meet your
competition... the Changs.
Hey. Everybody Chang sons tonight.
Oh, dear lord.
Oh, my gosh, there's Pam!
Hi, Pam! I mean, Your Honor.
Chuck. I see you're working
with these nice folks again.
How fun for you!
Well, I have to get to court.
? You're not a real judge. ?
? If anyone needs me,
I'll be in my chambers. ?
? It's not chambers.
It's a dressing room! ?
I sentence you to kiss my
ass! See this right here?
- That's your punishment!
- Oh, wouldn't you... ? Oh, you would love it.
- Oh, you would love it.
- You can just kiss it.
Oh, I will do it.
Somebody better kiss somebody's
ass, or I'm gonna go crazy.
Belchers and Changs are tied.
Whoever wins the Human Claw takes the game.
Good luck, Changs! And Belchers.
But mostly Changs.
And go!
Yeah, Dad,
grab those balls!
- Yeah!
- I got one!
Oh! So sorry, Joe.
Bob's little rat snout
found the ball first,
which means the Belchers win!
All right!
Did you just say rat snout?
Let me at that wheel!
Stay! Stay! Stay! Stay! Stay!
Foam again?!
Uh, Chuck, can I give someone a shout out?
- Absolutely not.
- Jimmy Pesto's an idiot! The end.
Tough shout out. Hmm.
Thanks for sharing, Bob. So
glad you guys are coming back.
If I could just mention
my restaurant, Bob's...
No, you may not.
? Ooh, ooh-ooh ?
? Pizza game ?
? Ooh ?
? Talking trash ?
? Ooh, spinning the wheel ?
? Fracas foam ?
? Get foamed at home ?
? There's Jimmy Pesto ?
? He's so mad ?
? Ooh, ooh-ooh ?
? Fracas foam, get foamed at home ?
? Jealous ?
?
? No minivan for you. ?
Harry, please, please, please
kick the Belchers off the show.
You've asked me that every night this week.
- And what do I say?
- You say,
"Watch this," and then, you
do that thing with your hands.
That's right, Chuck. Watch this.
- Oh, oh. Oh, yeah.
- Oh, whoa.
- Oh, oh, rounder.
- Oh, oh, oh.
Whoa! Where we going? Opposites.
Yup.
- Here comes a hand.
- Ah, that's how you get me!
You said they could be on one episode,
but they keep coming back again and again.
Look, it's part of the job.
Richard Dawson used to kiss
all the women on Family Feud.
He didn't pick and choose.
He just puckered up.
Pucker up, Chuck.
- No, seriously, pucker up.
- Hmm. Hmm?
Okay, come here. Practice on me.
- I'm Dawson, you're me. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're Dawson, I'm me.
- Okay. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, just like that.
- Okay.
- Now we're both Dawson. Double Dawson.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mmm, mmm, mmm. Okay.
Mm-hmm. Mmm.
- Okay, are we good?
- One more.
Maybe someone else should
spin the prize wheel tonight
since Louise keeps landing on foam.
Ooh! I thought you wanted
five big buckets of foam!
- No.
- I wish you would have told me sooner, Tina!
Don't worry. We'll beat the
other family like we always do.
And tonight, we win the van. I feel it.
You're gonna feel your butt being spanked.
That's what you're gonna feel.
Jimmy?! You're on Family Fracas?
Yup. I signed us up. Get ready to lose.
I only count four Pestos
and your bartender Trev.
I told them he was the son I always wanted.
- What?
- Right on, Pops. Ha!
Oh, I see you guys have met.
Jimmy, you should just leave right now,
because we're unbeatable.
Jimmy Pesto!
Oh, you're the guy Bob
called an idiot on the air.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Hmm. You hate Bob, I hate Bob. I like you.
Jimmy Jr., you and I are friends
and have been more than friends
on one and a half occasions.
If you say so.
But tonight, we're competitors.
I have to put aside my feelings for you.
And destroy you.
Whoa. You're being kind of intense, Tina.
I know. I bring it.
And... go!
Come on Gene and Tina! Brush!
Tiny circles! Tiny circles!
Come on, Jay Ju!
I can't believe you made
me care about this. Come on!
Do it, Jimmy! Go!
Hey, Jimmy Jr., you missed a spot.
- On your face.
- Quit it, Tina!
T!
Pick up the pace!
Brush, brush, brush, brush!
Done!
Damn it!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You hit my eye!
Here. Now we're twins again!
- Done!
- Yes!
Oh, what's the point of
having twins if they can't
hit each other with eggs
like they were supposed to?
The Belchers and Pestos are neck and neck.
It's anybody's game as we
head into the Human Claw!
Have fun losing, Jimmy.
Well said, Jimmy.
Ready, set, grab that ball!
- We have a winner!
- Huh?
No!
What just happened?
We lost to the Pestos.
We had a good run.
And that's from a kid who hates running.
I'm so sorry, Bob.
The Pestos are the new
champs of Family Fracas!
Uh, can you lower me down now?
We're trying! It's stuck, Bobby!
Chuck, the crane is stuck.
Bob, just a second.
And the Pestos win a brand-new minivan!
Oh!
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
- Pull!
- Kids, stop.
Don't do that. Stop!
No, no, no!
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, Dad.
Oh, that's too bad.
Let's give the Belchers a
big Family Fracas bye-bye!
Bye-bye, Belchers!
Bye! What? I'm saying good-bye.
I know what you're all thinking...
not only did we lose to the Pestos
but I also humiliated myself.
Correct. I was thinking that.
Well, you're right. I blew it.
At least we have all this stupid foam.
Aw, Bobby. I'm gonna get
rid of this Fracas foam.
I'm gonna flush it down the toilet. Bye.
No! You can't!
It's true. It says right there
- you can't.
- Oh.
Hey, Dad, want a little good news?
You're about to go viral.
Stop!
Oh, that's too bad.
His pants come off every time.
Thanks a lot, guys. Thanks
for helping me get past this.
No problem.
How did Jimmy find that
ball in two seconds?
It's almost impossible.
Bob, stop obsessing.
It's over.
This is the fifth time
he's circled the block.
Jimmy, I get it. You won the minivan.
Face it, Bob. You were destined to lose.
I knew it, Chuck sure knew it.
Wh... what do you mean, "Chuck
sure knew it"? What does that mean?
What? Nothing. I... I have a disease
where I say things, you know,
and it makes me drive away...
Hmm.
We have a w...
We have a w...
Dad, if you watch the video in
reverse your pants go back on.
Thanks, Louise. I'm just watching Jimmy.
It's like he knew exactly
where to find the yellow ball.
And I have a hunch Chuck
told him where to look.
Watch.
- We...
- Did you see that?
Yeah. Wait, what was I supposed to see?
He barely fished for it. He cheated.
We were wronged. Look,
there are a lot of things
- this family's terrible at.
- That's true.
We were really good at Family Fracas.
And if we're gonna lose, I
want to lose fair and square.
Not because that jerk Pesto cheated.
- Hey, Dad, can we put a pin in this? We're running late.
- For what?
For the Pesto's minivan.
Jimmy Jr.'s having a screening
of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.
What? No! Didn't you hear what I just said?
That's the van of a cheater!
What are we supposed to
do, Dad? Watch the TV here?
That thing makes me sick!
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna drive down to the studio...
The car's broken, Dad!
Damn it! I'm gonna walk to the studio
and talk to those people face-to-face!
You, you, not you
- and you.
- Tina, what are you doing here?
- We're here for the screening.
- Yeah, let us in. Let's do this. Come on.
I don't know, Tina. You
said some pretty mean things
on Family Fracas yesterday.
We'll take that popcorn though.
- Thank you.
- Jimmy Jr., wait!
What you saw before was my game face.
This is my normal face.
Let us in! Oh, you're getting
a banana in your tailpipe.
- Oh...
- And I am not talking about the van.
Oh!
I think Jimmy Pesto cheated
- at the Human Claw game.
- Hmm. You do?
Yes, and I... I think
Chuck might've helped him.
Hmm...
Um, what's happening right now?
Here's the thing, Bob. I believe
you believe you were wronged.
- Thank you?
- This is big.
Yes. And I could make it a lot bigger.
Yes! Wait, what do you mean?
I'm talking about Bob
versus Chuck on Pam's Court.
Um, no. I don't want to do that.
How 'bout I just go to a
real court with real lawyers?
That costs serious
dough. You don't have it.
What makes you say that?
Those stains, your smells,
you walked here, your children,
you're not wearing any jewelry.
Aw, crap. All right, Pam's Court.
- Let's do it.
- All right!
Congratulations, Bob.
The Belchers are back on TV!
You know what that rhymes with?
- Uh...
- Long Island Iced Tea.
I'm gonna have one.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
You have a bar in your desk?
You don't have a bar in your desk?
I'm gonna leave you alone.
Thank you.
- Order.
- This is the courtroom of Judge Pam.
- I'll allow it.
- And Judge Pam has the final word.
Guilty. Not guilty.
We'll see you in court.
Judge Pam's court.
I sentence you to stay tuned.
In a very special episode of Pam's Court,
burger man Bob Belcher is suing Jimmy Pesto
and Pam's ex-husband and
new host of Family Fracas,
Chuck Charles.
This is the case of the Great Balls of Ire.
All rise. Pam's Court is now in session.
You may be seated. So,
someone else besides me
is accusing Chuck of cheating.
Mr. Belcher, you claim
that Chuck helped Jimmy Pesto
cheat at Family Fracas.
Uh, yes, Your Honor.
At the Human Claw game,
which I happen to be pretty good at.
Do you have any evidence
to support your claim?
Uh, yes, I do, Your Honor.
Jimmy said Chuck, quote,
"sure knew I was gonna lose."
Now, I ask the court,
how was Chuck so sure?
Mr. Pesto, did you say this?
Yeah. I said it.
So he admits it!
Yeah, I admit that you lost.
And no one was surprised.
Your Honor, the prosecution
clearly has no case.
I hate to agree with the defense,
and also, I hate the defense
and his smug face,
and his misshapen penis.
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Well, it pleased the court.
The court was faking it.
I don't think so.
- You shut up.
- No, you shut up.
- Shut your mouth.
- Shut your mouth.
I will jump over there,
- and shut it for you.
- Edit that out.
Do you have any other
evidence, Mr. Belcher?
You bet he does! You got something, right?
- Come on, give it to 'em.
- Actually, I... I don't.
I... I... thought, uh...
that when I said that one thing
he would just confess.
Bobby, that's all you got?
Quick! Let's call a surprise witness!
Who?
I call Henry Kissinger to the stand!
Order! I think I have my ruling.
Will Bob's beef be settled?
Lettuce find out after the break.
Bob, we're gonna lose this case.
Jimmy cheated, Lin. I know it.
Hey, we're on TV.
We know, Tina. We're on Pam's Court.
Pretty neat, huh? It's a TV show.
No, we're on that TV. Hi.
Wait a sec. That's it! What?
And we're back in three, two...
I went to my chambers
and reviewed this case.
Objection! You did not!
You were here.
You were putting on makeup the whole time.
You don't even need makeup, on.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're beautiful.
- And that robe...
- You're wonderful.
I'd love to see you without
makeup though to be honest.
Moving on!
In the case of Great Balls
of Ire, I rule that...
Wait, Your Honor!
I... I have new evidence.
I can prove my case.
- Go on.
- These cameras, they're always rolling. Right?
- Correct.
- A... and the same with the cameras
- on Family Fracas, right?
- Uh-oh.
One of those cameras
may have caught Chuck helping Jimmy cheat.
The Foam Cam!
Dad, the Foam Cam is on the ceiling!
I never forget a camera that feeds me.
Objection! Objection!
Hearsay! Inadmissible... hears-say...
Overruled!
Bring me the Foam Cam tape.
Does this mean we're gonna win?
- I sure hope so, Tina.
- Good.
Your ass is grass. And I'm gonna mow it.
Leave me alone!
Hey, so we...
can't show that tape.
Oh, you did help Jimmy cheat.
Yes. Yes! And I had to
get rid of the Belchers.
You gave me no choice.
I put the ball in Jimmy's mouth.
You put it in your mouth
- and then you kissed it into his mouth.
- What? No.
I put it into his mouth with my hand.
Huh. That's one way to do it.
I'll take that.
Ha! There's the evidence, idiot.
Ha, you're the idiot.
What do we do?
I'm not gonna let the
host of one of my shows
lose a trial on another one of my shows.
- Hey! What are you doing?
- Whoops.
Ah, Judge Pam, did you see that?
Huh? See what?
I saw it!
The evidence must be on that tape.
- Which means Dad was right.
- Yes!
What is going on with my lighter right now?
It's burning this tape.
What the hell? He's burning the tape!
Pam? You know what to do.
Right.
Without any actual evidence,
I have to rule in favor of the defense.
- Yes!
- Oh, yeah! Justice!
What's going on?
Why are we getting foamed?
This is a court show.
- The losers get foamed on Pam's Court.
- That's insane.
They have foam on all
their shows on this channel.
Oh, no friggin' way!
I want my minivan!
All right, you're gonna have to sit down.
Down you go.
I will kick you in the jaw.
- I will...
- Just put my hand on your throat,
and down you go.
What're we gonna do now?
Nothing. We lost.
- But Jimmy and Chuck cheated.
- Doesn't matter.
We were never gonna win this case.
This whole thing was fixed.
Let's just go home and...
and never watch any
shows on Channel 13 again!
- Oh come on, you don't mean that.
- Yes I do!
I might watch a little bit of Pam's Court.
Just a little bit.
When are we getting the car back, Dad?
I don't know.
The mechanic called yesterday
but I never called him back.
I thought we were gonna win the minivan.
- That van is dead to me!
- Look, there it is.
Oh, I love it so much.
Oh, problem with the van, Jimmy?
What? It's nothing. Damn it!
You don't know how to change a tire. Ha!
You don't know how to change a tire.
Hey. Who am I? "I can't change a tire
and my whole family is watching me
not be able to do something simple."
You are mean.
- Yeah, Bob.
- Geez, Dad.
What? He's the one who said it to us
when our car wouldn't start.
- Yeah, but he was funny.
- He was funnier?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- No.
- Yeah.
- No. Mm-hmm.
No, he wasn't. He kind of was.
Are you... zll right,
let me help. Move over.
- "Let me help. Move over."
- He just did it again!
- "He just did it again."
- He's doing it right now!
"He's doing it right now."
Oh, yeah, it's funny.
Order.
I'll allow it.
Guilty.
Not guilty.
I think I have my ruling.
Moving on.
Right.
- synced and corrected by chamallow -
Bob, we're gonna miss the
beginning of the movie.
Plus, I'm smuggling chocolate in my pants.
We got to get there before it melts.
I'm gonna get it. Just a sec.
Ugh! Can you roll down
the windows back here?
I'm starting to breathe in Tina's breath.
I can't. They're broken.
I think I forgot to
brush this morning. Did I?
Yeah. Yeah, you did.
Hey, who am I?
I'm Bob's car!
Good one, J.P.
Uh, not a good one, Jimmy.
Started right up.
- They went inside, Dad.
- Oh.
Start driving! Gene
just took off his shoes!
And my socks!
Why don't you wash your children?
Oh, great. Can't I just take
my family to a stupid movie?
Dog Prom 3D is not a stupid movie!
Are we gonna just leave
our car there like that?
That's what we're gonna do
when Dad and Mom break down.
Leave them by the side of the road!
Hey, guys, you want to
see a live TV show taping?
- Do I!
- Give me that.
"Come to a taping of Family Fracas."
What's Family Fracas?
It's a game show where they
make families do weird stuff
and then dump foam all over them.
I'm into weird stuff and foam. Can we go?
We should go home and call a tow truck.
The car's not going anywhere, Bobby.
Come on, it'll be fun.
Please, Dad?
- Please, Dad!
- Come on!
- Come on, come on. Come on.
- Please!
Please!
Oh, look! Pam's Court!
I love the way she bangs that gavel. Bang!
- Aah!- Hey, isn't that
Pam's ex-husband Chuck?
Oh, my God.
- What's he doing here?
- Aah!
- Oh, hey, Chuck.
- Hello, Belchers.
Long time no see since you got
my show canceled and me fired.
A boobity boobity boobity boo!
- Linda, nice to see you dressed again.
- Thank you.
Yeah. Sorry about that. It...
Water under the bridge, Bob.
- Oh, good.
- Dark, dirty water.
- Under a horrible bridge.
- Um...
Oh, but all is well now.
You're looking at the
new host of Family Fracas!
Chuck, we got a problem.
- The Morgan family just dropped out of the show.
- Aah.
Food poisoning. Gross!
We got to find another family
of five in the next ten minutes.
But how the heck are we gonna do that?
The heck right here.
Yeah! We're a family of five.
No, we're not. One, two, three, four.
Oh, yes we are!
Harry, this is a bad idea.
No idea's a bad idea.
I like this guy!
I... I don't know.
Grand prize is a brand-new minivan.
Dad, this is a no-brainer.
- Dad, come on!
- No, no. No, no, no.
Bobby! If we win the minivan,
we can put the car out of its misery.
No. What the hell. Let's do it!
- No!
- Fantastic! Hooray for Family Fracas!
It's time for Family Fracas!
Here's your host... Chuck Charles!
Hiya, folks!
- Western Med...
- Whoa. Is that Bob?
Let's welcome back the reigning
champs, the O'Donnell family!
And competing against the
O'Donnells are the Belchers.
- Hi!
- Hi, Linda.
Look. Tina's on Family Fracas.
My cousin was gonna be on that show,
but he didn't want to wear
that outfit. I don't blame him.
Belchers, introduce yourselves.
Uh, well, I'm Bob, and
this is my wife Linda.
Don't look at my hair.
I didn't know I was gonna be on TV.
And this is my daughter Louise.
It's Louise! * And she is gonna win. *
Okay, okay, okeydoke. And that one.
That's Gene.
Camera, take the day off!
I added ten pounds to myself!
And the last one's Tina.
Hi. I'm Tina. I like
horses, music and boys.
Hi, boys. I'm Tina.
Okay, that's more than enough.
All right, let's get Frackin'!
It's time for the Brain Drain!
Well, it looks like these
guys have lost their marbles.
The first team to fill their brain
with these wins the challenge.
And what does the other team get?
Foamed!
That's right... foamed.
On your mark, get set, go!
Are you trying to distract
me by holding my hand?
Huh, what? Owen, I feel it, too.
But right now, we're competitors.
I can't be sweet on you
before I beat on you.
Tina, marble me!
Oh, right.
Done!
I ate it! I ate it!
Num, num, num. I like it!
First team to remove all the
flies from their soup wins.
Losing team gets... face full of foam!
- All right, Mom, you ready? You pumped?
- Yeah!
- Slap my face!
- What?
- Slap it!
- Oh, uh...
I'll slap yours.
Oh, uh, I'm pumped! I'm pumped!
And... go!
- Done!
- Aha!
Yeah! Foam time!
The Belchers and the O'Donnells are tied.
Whoever wins the Human Claw
challenge wins the whole game.
I can smell that minivan.
I call shotgun! I call optional third row.
Ugh! The whole third row.
Children, shut up, shut up, shut up!
And Bob and Pat are gonna get dunked
into a pit full of blue balls.
The first one to find a yellow ball wins.
But they have to grab
the ball with their teeth.
Families, you control the crane.
No crane, no gain, am I right?
I am right!
My harness is a little tight
- around the groin...
- Go!
Come on, Dad! Make us proud for once!
I got one! I got one!
Dad won! Ha, ha, ha! Ha, ha!
Well, bash my head in with a brick.
The Belchers won.
- We won! We won!
- Yah!
- Yes! Yay!
- All right!
Yay, Bobby!
Wow, Tina won.
Honk, honk, honk!
O'Donnells, we are really
sorry to see you go.
You are good people.
Bye, Joey and Owen!
You're leaving in shame,
but you played a good game.
They were terrible.
And now the Belchers are
gonna spin the prize wheel
for a chance to win a brand-new minivan!
I got this.
Come on, come on, come on, minivan.
Oh, hey, a five-gallon
bucket of Fracas foam,
so you can get foamed at home.
Home foam! No!
Yes! It tastes good. Trust me.
The Belchers will return
tomorrow as the champs
and have another shot at the minivan.
Hey! We're coming back!
That's exactly what I just said.
Put your hands together
for the winning family!
You hear that?
We're the winning family!
Yes, they all hear that!
I have a microphone.
Congratulations to the most annoying
winning family in Fracas history.
- We won most annoying! Yeah!
- Hi, Ma!
You guys, this is so much
better than the minivan.
Mmm.
Gene, stop eating that crap.
You're just jealous that
I have frothy diarrhea.
Come on, you big idiot.
? La, la, la...
Hey, Jimmy, did you happen to
catch Family Fracas last night?
'Cause we were on it, and we won.
Oh yeah, is that the show
where the most pathetic family wins?
No, no. No, it isn't, Jimmy.
Why don't you watch it tonight?
I'll send you a shout out.
Oh, yeah, why don't you watch this?
Hey, I'm Bob! I'm on a
game show! Blah, blah, blah!
I... I don't want to watch that.
I'm gonna change the channel
with my remote that I have. Click!
- I'm still Bob, and I'm still on...
- Wait, wait, wait. Click.
This channel. I just shut
you off! I just shut you off...
- And I'm on that.
- So you can't say anything!
Now I'm on shut off
channel. I shut you off!
Belchers, meet your
competition... the Changs.
Hey. Everybody Chang sons tonight.
Oh, dear lord.
Oh, my gosh, there's Pam!
Hi, Pam! I mean, Your Honor.
Chuck. I see you're working
with these nice folks again.
How fun for you!
Well, I have to get to court.
? You're not a real judge. ?
? If anyone needs me,
I'll be in my chambers. ?
? It's not chambers.
It's a dressing room! ?
I sentence you to kiss my
ass! See this right here?
- That's your punishment!
- Oh, wouldn't you... ? Oh, you would love it.
- Oh, you would love it.
- You can just kiss it.
Oh, I will do it.
Somebody better kiss somebody's
ass, or I'm gonna go crazy.
Belchers and Changs are tied.
Whoever wins the Human Claw takes the game.
Good luck, Changs! And Belchers.
But mostly Changs.
And go!
Yeah, Dad,
grab those balls!
- Yeah!
- I got one!
Oh! So sorry, Joe.
Bob's little rat snout
found the ball first,
which means the Belchers win!
All right!
Did you just say rat snout?
Let me at that wheel!
Stay! Stay! Stay! Stay! Stay!
Foam again?!
Uh, Chuck, can I give someone a shout out?
- Absolutely not.
- Jimmy Pesto's an idiot! The end.
Tough shout out. Hmm.
Thanks for sharing, Bob. So
glad you guys are coming back.
If I could just mention
my restaurant, Bob's...
No, you may not.
? Ooh, ooh-ooh ?
? Pizza game ?
? Ooh ?
? Talking trash ?
? Ooh, spinning the wheel ?
? Fracas foam ?
? Get foamed at home ?
? There's Jimmy Pesto ?
? He's so mad ?
? Ooh, ooh-ooh ?
? Fracas foam, get foamed at home ?
? Jealous ?
?
? No minivan for you. ?
Harry, please, please, please
kick the Belchers off the show.
You've asked me that every night this week.
- And what do I say?
- You say,
"Watch this," and then, you
do that thing with your hands.
That's right, Chuck. Watch this.
- Oh, oh. Oh, yeah.
- Oh, whoa.
- Oh, oh, rounder.
- Oh, oh, oh.
Whoa! Where we going? Opposites.
Yup.
- Here comes a hand.
- Ah, that's how you get me!
You said they could be on one episode,
but they keep coming back again and again.
Look, it's part of the job.
Richard Dawson used to kiss
all the women on Family Feud.
He didn't pick and choose.
He just puckered up.
Pucker up, Chuck.
- No, seriously, pucker up.
- Hmm. Hmm?
Okay, come here. Practice on me.
- I'm Dawson, you're me. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
- You're Dawson, I'm me.
- Okay. Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, just like that.
- Okay.
- Now we're both Dawson. Double Dawson.
- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
Mmm, mmm, mmm. Okay.
Mm-hmm. Mmm.
- Okay, are we good?
- One more.
Maybe someone else should
spin the prize wheel tonight
since Louise keeps landing on foam.
Ooh! I thought you wanted
five big buckets of foam!
- No.
- I wish you would have told me sooner, Tina!
Don't worry. We'll beat the
other family like we always do.
And tonight, we win the van. I feel it.
You're gonna feel your butt being spanked.
That's what you're gonna feel.
Jimmy?! You're on Family Fracas?
Yup. I signed us up. Get ready to lose.
I only count four Pestos
and your bartender Trev.
I told them he was the son I always wanted.
- What?
- Right on, Pops. Ha!
Oh, I see you guys have met.
Jimmy, you should just leave right now,
because we're unbeatable.
Jimmy Pesto!
Oh, you're the guy Bob
called an idiot on the air.
Yeah, yeah, whatever.
Hmm. You hate Bob, I hate Bob. I like you.
Jimmy Jr., you and I are friends
and have been more than friends
on one and a half occasions.
If you say so.
But tonight, we're competitors.
I have to put aside my feelings for you.
And destroy you.
Whoa. You're being kind of intense, Tina.
I know. I bring it.
And... go!
Come on Gene and Tina! Brush!
Tiny circles! Tiny circles!
Come on, Jay Ju!
I can't believe you made
me care about this. Come on!
Do it, Jimmy! Go!
Hey, Jimmy Jr., you missed a spot.
- On your face.
- Quit it, Tina!
T!
Pick up the pace!
Brush, brush, brush, brush!
Done!
Damn it!
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
You hit my eye!
Here. Now we're twins again!
- Done!
- Yes!
Oh, what's the point of
having twins if they can't
hit each other with eggs
like they were supposed to?
The Belchers and Pestos are neck and neck.
It's anybody's game as we
head into the Human Claw!
Have fun losing, Jimmy.
Well said, Jimmy.
Ready, set, grab that ball!
- We have a winner!
- Huh?
No!
What just happened?
We lost to the Pestos.
We had a good run.
And that's from a kid who hates running.
I'm so sorry, Bob.
The Pestos are the new
champs of Family Fracas!
Uh, can you lower me down now?
We're trying! It's stuck, Bobby!
Chuck, the crane is stuck.
Bob, just a second.
And the Pestos win a brand-new minivan!
Oh!
- Oh! Oh!
- Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah!
- Pull!
- Kids, stop.
Don't do that. Stop!
No, no, no!
- Oh, boy.
- Oh, Dad.
Oh, that's too bad.
Let's give the Belchers a
big Family Fracas bye-bye!
Bye-bye, Belchers!
Bye! What? I'm saying good-bye.
I know what you're all thinking...
not only did we lose to the Pestos
but I also humiliated myself.
Correct. I was thinking that.
Well, you're right. I blew it.
At least we have all this stupid foam.
Aw, Bobby. I'm gonna get
rid of this Fracas foam.
I'm gonna flush it down the toilet. Bye.
No! You can't!
It's true. It says right there
- you can't.
- Oh.
Hey, Dad, want a little good news?
You're about to go viral.
Stop!
Oh, that's too bad.
His pants come off every time.
Thanks a lot, guys. Thanks
for helping me get past this.
No problem.
How did Jimmy find that
ball in two seconds?
It's almost impossible.
Bob, stop obsessing.
It's over.
This is the fifth time
he's circled the block.
Jimmy, I get it. You won the minivan.
Face it, Bob. You were destined to lose.
I knew it, Chuck sure knew it.
Wh... what do you mean, "Chuck
sure knew it"? What does that mean?
What? Nothing. I... I have a disease
where I say things, you know,
and it makes me drive away...
Hmm.
We have a w...
We have a w...
Dad, if you watch the video in
reverse your pants go back on.
Thanks, Louise. I'm just watching Jimmy.
It's like he knew exactly
where to find the yellow ball.
And I have a hunch Chuck
told him where to look.
Watch.
- We...
- Did you see that?
Yeah. Wait, what was I supposed to see?
He barely fished for it. He cheated.
We were wronged. Look,
there are a lot of things
- this family's terrible at.
- That's true.
We were really good at Family Fracas.
And if we're gonna lose, I
want to lose fair and square.
Not because that jerk Pesto cheated.
- Hey, Dad, can we put a pin in this? We're running late.
- For what?
For the Pesto's minivan.
Jimmy Jr.'s having a screening
of Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights.
What? No! Didn't you hear what I just said?
That's the van of a cheater!
What are we supposed to
do, Dad? Watch the TV here?
That thing makes me sick!
You know what I'm gonna do?
I'm gonna drive down to the studio...
The car's broken, Dad!
Damn it! I'm gonna walk to the studio
and talk to those people face-to-face!
You, you, not you
- and you.
- Tina, what are you doing here?
- We're here for the screening.
- Yeah, let us in. Let's do this. Come on.
I don't know, Tina. You
said some pretty mean things
on Family Fracas yesterday.
We'll take that popcorn though.
- Thank you.
- Jimmy Jr., wait!
What you saw before was my game face.
This is my normal face.
Let us in! Oh, you're getting
a banana in your tailpipe.
- Oh...
- And I am not talking about the van.
Oh!
I think Jimmy Pesto cheated
- at the Human Claw game.
- Hmm. You do?
Yes, and I... I think
Chuck might've helped him.
Hmm...
Um, what's happening right now?
Here's the thing, Bob. I believe
you believe you were wronged.
- Thank you?
- This is big.
Yes. And I could make it a lot bigger.
Yes! Wait, what do you mean?
I'm talking about Bob
versus Chuck on Pam's Court.
Um, no. I don't want to do that.
How 'bout I just go to a
real court with real lawyers?
That costs serious
dough. You don't have it.
What makes you say that?
Those stains, your smells,
you walked here, your children,
you're not wearing any jewelry.
Aw, crap. All right, Pam's Court.
- Let's do it.
- All right!
Congratulations, Bob.
The Belchers are back on TV!
You know what that rhymes with?
- Uh...
- Long Island Iced Tea.
I'm gonna have one.
Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
You have a bar in your desk?
You don't have a bar in your desk?
I'm gonna leave you alone.
Thank you.
- Order.
- This is the courtroom of Judge Pam.
- I'll allow it.
- And Judge Pam has the final word.
Guilty. Not guilty.
We'll see you in court.
Judge Pam's court.
I sentence you to stay tuned.
In a very special episode of Pam's Court,
burger man Bob Belcher is suing Jimmy Pesto
and Pam's ex-husband and
new host of Family Fracas,
Chuck Charles.
This is the case of the Great Balls of Ire.
All rise. Pam's Court is now in session.
You may be seated. So,
someone else besides me
is accusing Chuck of cheating.
Mr. Belcher, you claim
that Chuck helped Jimmy Pesto
cheat at Family Fracas.
Uh, yes, Your Honor.
At the Human Claw game,
which I happen to be pretty good at.
Do you have any evidence
to support your claim?
Uh, yes, I do, Your Honor.
Jimmy said Chuck, quote,
"sure knew I was gonna lose."
Now, I ask the court,
how was Chuck so sure?
Mr. Pesto, did you say this?
Yeah. I said it.
So he admits it!
Yeah, I admit that you lost.
And no one was surprised.
Your Honor, the prosecution
clearly has no case.
I hate to agree with the defense,
and also, I hate the defense
and his smug face,
and his misshapen penis.
Ho-ho-ho-ho! Well, it pleased the court.
The court was faking it.
I don't think so.
- You shut up.
- No, you shut up.
- Shut your mouth.
- Shut your mouth.
I will jump over there,
- and shut it for you.
- Edit that out.
Do you have any other
evidence, Mr. Belcher?
You bet he does! You got something, right?
- Come on, give it to 'em.
- Actually, I... I don't.
I... I... thought, uh...
that when I said that one thing
he would just confess.
Bobby, that's all you got?
Quick! Let's call a surprise witness!
Who?
I call Henry Kissinger to the stand!
Order! I think I have my ruling.
Will Bob's beef be settled?
Lettuce find out after the break.
Bob, we're gonna lose this case.
Jimmy cheated, Lin. I know it.
Hey, we're on TV.
We know, Tina. We're on Pam's Court.
Pretty neat, huh? It's a TV show.
No, we're on that TV. Hi.
Wait a sec. That's it! What?
And we're back in three, two...
I went to my chambers
and reviewed this case.
Objection! You did not!
You were here.
You were putting on makeup the whole time.
You don't even need makeup, on.
- Oh, thank you.
- You're beautiful.
- And that robe...
- You're wonderful.
I'd love to see you without
makeup though to be honest.
Moving on!
In the case of Great Balls
of Ire, I rule that...
Wait, Your Honor!
I... I have new evidence.
I can prove my case.
- Go on.
- These cameras, they're always rolling. Right?
- Correct.
- A... and the same with the cameras
- on Family Fracas, right?
- Uh-oh.
One of those cameras
may have caught Chuck helping Jimmy cheat.
The Foam Cam!
Dad, the Foam Cam is on the ceiling!
I never forget a camera that feeds me.
Objection! Objection!
Hearsay! Inadmissible... hears-say...
Overruled!
Bring me the Foam Cam tape.
Does this mean we're gonna win?
- I sure hope so, Tina.
- Good.
Your ass is grass. And I'm gonna mow it.
Leave me alone!
Hey, so we...
can't show that tape.
Oh, you did help Jimmy cheat.
Yes. Yes! And I had to
get rid of the Belchers.
You gave me no choice.
I put the ball in Jimmy's mouth.
You put it in your mouth
- and then you kissed it into his mouth.
- What? No.
I put it into his mouth with my hand.
Huh. That's one way to do it.
I'll take that.
Ha! There's the evidence, idiot.
Ha, you're the idiot.
What do we do?
I'm not gonna let the
host of one of my shows
lose a trial on another one of my shows.
- Hey! What are you doing?
- Whoops.
Ah, Judge Pam, did you see that?
Huh? See what?
I saw it!
The evidence must be on that tape.
- Which means Dad was right.
- Yes!
What is going on with my lighter right now?
It's burning this tape.
What the hell? He's burning the tape!
Pam? You know what to do.
Right.
Without any actual evidence,
I have to rule in favor of the defense.
- Yes!
- Oh, yeah! Justice!
What's going on?
Why are we getting foamed?
This is a court show.
- The losers get foamed on Pam's Court.
- That's insane.
They have foam on all
their shows on this channel.
Oh, no friggin' way!
I want my minivan!
All right, you're gonna have to sit down.
Down you go.
I will kick you in the jaw.
- I will...
- Just put my hand on your throat,
and down you go.
What're we gonna do now?
Nothing. We lost.
- But Jimmy and Chuck cheated.
- Doesn't matter.
We were never gonna win this case.
This whole thing was fixed.
Let's just go home and...
and never watch any
shows on Channel 13 again!
- Oh come on, you don't mean that.
- Yes I do!
I might watch a little bit of Pam's Court.
Just a little bit.
When are we getting the car back, Dad?
I don't know.
The mechanic called yesterday
but I never called him back.
I thought we were gonna win the minivan.
- That van is dead to me!
- Look, there it is.
Oh, I love it so much.
Oh, problem with the van, Jimmy?
What? It's nothing. Damn it!
You don't know how to change a tire. Ha!
You don't know how to change a tire.
Hey. Who am I? "I can't change a tire
and my whole family is watching me
not be able to do something simple."
You are mean.
- Yeah, Bob.
- Geez, Dad.
What? He's the one who said it to us
when our car wouldn't start.
- Yeah, but he was funny.
- He was funnier?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
- No.
- Yeah.
- No. Mm-hmm.
No, he wasn't. He kind of was.
Are you... zll right,
let me help. Move over.
- "Let me help. Move over."
- He just did it again!
- "He just did it again."
- He's doing it right now!
"He's doing it right now."
Oh, yeah, it's funny.
Order.
I'll allow it.
Guilty.
Not guilty.
I think I have my ruling.
Moving on.
Right.
- synced and corrected by chamallow -