Bob's Burgers (2011–…): Season 10, Episode 11 - Drumforgiven - full transcript
Louise comes to Gene's defense when he gets kicked out of the Ocean Avenue Hifi Emporium.
GENE: Can you believe that
whole cafeteria fiasco?
Are you talking about the
lunch lady shorting you
- a couple of tater tots?
- Aka Tater-gate? Yes.
I told you, Gene. You should
have shoved the tots you did get
in the lunch lady's tailpipe.
And burn that bridge? No.
Plus, any tot's better than not.
Suit yourself. Get walked all over.
Speaking of walking all over,
I'm gonna swing by Ocean Avenue
Hi-Fi Emporium for a little bit.
That's, like, the third time this week.
Geez, for a guy who doesn't steal stuff,
you spend a lot of time at a pawnshop.
It's more than a pawnshop...
It's a gathering place
for gently used musical
instruments and equipment.
And if you very convincingly
suggest that you're thinking
about buying something,
they let you play with it!
Gene, I think the guy's
starting to suspect
you don't really have any money.
Why? Just 'cause he says, "You again?"
every time Gene walks in?
That's just his greeting
for everyone, I think.
Anyway, there's this drum machine.
I'm not saying we're in love,
but I can't stop thinking
about it, and I think it
feels the same way about me.
- Lucky.
- I want to try out
this idea I have for a
sound/beat/electronic music
installation.
It's a space cowbell that goes:
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh ♪
♪ Boo, space. ♪
- You guys want to join me?
- I could go for space cowbell.
No. I want to go help Mom
and Dad at the restaurant.
(laughs): Of course I'm coming!
Hey, Teddy! Late lunch
for you today, huh?
Me? No, I couldn't. I-I already ate.
Just popped in to say hi.
So, hi.
- Hi.
- But boy,
I would love a burger.
But I-I already ate.
- Yeah, you mentioned that.
- Anyway, I have this job this week
that might keep me away from
lunch here for a couple of days.
- Nothing weird.
- Why are you yelling?
- Was I?!
- You still are.
Sorry. But I'll be back a lot. Right?
So after the job's over,
it'll be like... old times.
Just like old times, right?
- We'll see you then, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
Don't change. Stay the same.
- (chuckles)
- BOB: Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Okay, all right.
- LINDA: Well...
- TEDDY: Uh, okay.
- You... - So long.
- You know where to find us.
- I'm gonna go.
- Yeah, we'll be here.
- Yup. Yup.
-Goodbye, Teddy. -Bye.
-Door's... door's that way.
- Okay, yup. I'm... all right.
- Yeah, you're walking into a window.
(laughs) Where... what am
I trying to do here, Bobby?
He's acting weird, huh?
Yeah. Maybe he drank
paint by accident again.
Yeah.
- Hey, Dino.
- You again?
Yup. I just came in to show my
sisters that sweet beat machine
that I'm totally thinking about buying
with all of my money that I have
- that I was just recently counting.
- Right.
Hello, my pretty.
(electronic dance beat plays)
Eh... ?
That's... exactly what
I thought it would be.
Powerful, right? Feel free to just...
let your body go.
Yeah, let my body go
all the way over here.
You guys think I could
pull off a tambourine?
I could go by "Tambourine Tina."
- "Tambourina"?
- Maybe "Tina-bourine."
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh ♪
- ♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh...
♪ - (Dino groaning loudly)
Look at you with your
fingers in your ears!
That's a fun dance.
Huh.
- What's... going on?
- What?
One of the tall plants
in front of Pesto's
- is moving by itself.
- Huh?
Is that Teddy?
- Of course it is.
- Hi, guys.
I-I just cut through the
alley across the street
to get in here from that
job I might have mentioned
that's not even on this street.
Oh. That's, um, that's great.
Okay! Fine! My job this
week is at Jimmy Pesto's!
There, I said it! Happy?
Is that what you want to hear?!
Teddy, calm down.
You would have done the same thing, Bob!
I-I didn't say anything, Teddy.
Oh, okay! The silent treatment, huh?
Real mature, Bob! Real mature!
What am I supposed to
do, not take the job?
- I got to work, Bob!
- Teddy...
What are you gonna do,
tell me which jobs I can take?
- No. I...
- Congratulations. You got
everything you wanted!
I'll just shoot you an
e-mail about my upcoming jobs,
and then you can just cross out the ones
that you don't want me to take!
What the hell was that?
Yeah. That was weird, even for Teddy.
(gasps) I bet I know what's going on.
-What?
-He probably had a sexy dream about me,
and now he doesn't know how to act.
It... doesn't seem
like it's that at all.
- What else could it be?
- Well, probably the exact thing
- he said it was.
- No.
A woman knows.
(electronic dance beat plays)
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh ♪
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh... ♪
Uh, Dino?
I think you accidentally
turned the drum machine off.
No, I definitely meant to do that.
- What?!
- Every time you come in,
it's the same thing... you
get your sticky little fingers
all over the drum machine!
Little? Thank you.
And it's pretty obvious by now
that you're not gonna buy this thing,
so you're just wearing
out the merchandise.
I'm making it better!
I'm saving all my patterns,
so whoever buys this
is gonna get a gold record for free!
Um, I was gonna clear those patterns,
so people wouldn't think
the thing is haunted.
(gasps) How dare you!
Gene's unappreciated in his time,
- but give it another week.
- Yeah, trying being a Di-yes
instead of a Di-no.
Come back when you have
money and clean hands, huh?
Until then, don't touch the instrument!
Now, scooch!
Wow, Dino, those are
some harsh words. I think...
it's best if one of us leaves right now.
- I work here!
- It wouldn't be work
if you loved what you did.
I was just about to buy
two or three tambourines,
but I guess we're leaving. Oh, well.
You probably get this all the time,
but you should be a little nicer, Dino.
You probably get this
all the time... goodbye.
You gave my brother sad face,
and that kind of gives me mad face.
You're giving me "I don't care" face.
Hey, quick question:
you ever see John Wick?
Yeah. Why?
Well, I'm John Wick,
and Gene is my puppy,
and you're those guys who
did something to the puppy.
I'm not sure what, because
I only saw the trailer.
But I know enough about it
to know that you're gonna pay.
Pay!
You seem a little quiet today, Gene.
Well, these are soft tacos.
They can only get so loud.
Are you sure you're okay from yesterday?
The whole drum machine thing?
'Cause if you want to
talk, I've got two ears,
and they're tuned to
the listening station.
I'm fine. You know what
I realized yesterday?
I don't even really
like that drum machine.
I mean, all those zappy sounds, right?
And the way the rubbery buttons felt
under my soft, soft fingers?
Oh, who am I kidding? I
love that drum machine!
There it is. Let it out.
That guy Dino's a dingleberry
wrapped in a dirty diaper.
And people like him need to
get what's coming to them.
Whoa, no need for dingle-bashing.
So what are we gonna
do to get Dino back?
No, no, no, no. Don't do anything.
Maybe I'll go by Ocean
Avenue Hi-Fi and talk to him.
See if I can win him over
with my effortless charm.
Yeah. Do that. Makes sense.
I'm gonna start walking to class now.
I'm moving a little
slower than usual today.
(Gene groaning quietly)
(groaning growing louder)
Hey. You guys want
to help me get revenge
- on a guy who's mean to Gene?
- Who was mean to Gene?
What did they do to my
precious little lamb?
I guess I'll do it if
it doesn't take that long
and I don't have to do much.
That's my kindhearted boy!
I could move some things around.
I'm moving my thing around right now.
Great. So, I was thinking...
Louise, are you sure
this is a good idea?
It sounded like Gene didn't
want to do anything to Dino.
(chuckles): Tina, Tina, Tina, trust me.
We have to teach Dino a lesson.
Gene is gonna thank us for it.
So here's what we're gonna do.
(low groaning)
Hold on, just gonna put
my hand over Tina's mouth.
- (muffled groaning)
- Okay, so...
TEDDY: Good burger today, Bob.
- Wh-What'd you use, beef?
- Uh, yeah.
- Just, uh, just trying it out.
- (chuckles): Well...
it's a good idea.
Stick with it, because, uh...
it's, uh... this is great.
- Eh.
- Yeah. Stick with what works.
(chuckles) We-we got a
little crazy yesterday, huh?
Didn't we? Eh.
I'm just happy things are
getting back to normal.
We both said some things that we regret,
but it's all in the past.
So you really like the burger, huh?
- Like it? It's fantastic.
- Well, you've taken two bites.
You want me to heat it up or something?
- What are you trying to say?
- I'm asking if anything's wrong.
You saying that I get free fettuccine
on the job at Pesto's?
That I come here full of fettuccine?!
- That doesn't make sense!
- (sighs)
Oh, yeah, I was wondering
what was on your neck.
- It's a noodle.
- That's not from me!
I-It's a hazard of the job!
There's noodles everywhere over there!
I don't care either way, Teddy.
If you don't care, then
why are you yelling?!
Because this whole thing is stupid!
Teddy, are you sure this
isn't because you had
- a sexy dream about me?
- What? No!
Recently? No!
- I'm still not sure about this.
- Watch and learn, T.
You'll see how a little
thing called "justice" works.
Okay, I'll send you in one at a time.
You ask to play an instrument.
Start playing loud and
proud and don't stop.
Does it matter what we play?
Nope. As long as it's annoying.
Because I can play "Lady
in Red" on a keyboard.
Damn it, Jimmy Jr., this is
not a "Lady in Red" situation.
Why is nothing ever a
"Lady in Red" situation?!
Someday, buddy. You'll do it.
God, I hope I'm there.
There's no need to get
worked up over all this, Bob.
Oh, my God, Teddy,
I-I can't stress enough
how much I really don't care.
I don't want you to feel
like you have to eat here,
especially if you already ate
some crappy, overcooked pasta.
- Hello!
- Oh, hey, Mort.
- What'll it be, Mort?
- What's good here?
- Burgers? Ha-ha-ha!
- (Bob chuckles)
Oh, I see. I get it. I see!
You and your inside jokes with Mort!
Is that how it is now?
What are you talking about?
Oh, it's just a coincidence...
The same week I do a job at Pesto's,
all of the sudden Mort comes in
here and says something funny?
Mort said something
funny before. I think.
He's using you, Mort!
Can't you see that?
- He doesn't even care about you!
- Huh?
- Teddy, please.
- He's trying to make me jealous,
but it's not working.
Come on, Mort, let's get out of here.
- Uh...
- We're leaving! Get your things!
I was gonna have a burger?
Fine! Suit yourself!
Uh, so, burger of the day?
Please. With a side of béar-mace.
(chuckles): See? I-I say funny things.
- Mm-hmm. -
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, it's go time.
Zeke, we're starting with you.
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- I'm on it!
Hi there. I want to buy
that funny-looking guitar,
but, uh, I want to see
if it can handle what
I'm putting out first.
Fine. But watch out, the
guy who sold this to me
was a glam guy... I keep wiping it down,
but there's always more glitter on it.
I hate glitter!
I get it... You're glitter bitter.
All right! Listen to her purr!
(electric guitar blasting)
♪ Bongo, bongo, bongo,
bongo, bongo, bongo... ♪
- ♪ Bongo, bongo, bongo... ♪
- Hey. Remember us?
I was the one who was about to
heavily invest in tambourines.
It was probably a little easier
when you only had my brother
in here drum-machining
his heart out, huh?
You still feel good
about making him feel bad?
- What?!
- I said, you still feel good
about making him feel bad?!
I can't hear you!
Right. It's hard to yell my
big speech with all the noise!
It's fine! I'll yell louder!
You just got John Wick'd! Boom!
Okay, Dino, I know you
wanted me to stay away
until I had some money and clean hands,
and I may not have the money
now, but my hands are...
Damn it! Okay, how about this?
You get ten percent of
all my future earnings
from playing that drum
machine. What do you say?
(high-pitched): You got it, Gene!
(normal voice): This
could actually work.
- (cacophonous music blasting)
- What's going on?
What are you guys doing here?
New store policy!
No one under 12 can demo
any of the instruments!
- No!
- ZEKE: That's cool.
I'm 13. (laughs)
New store policy!
No one under 14 can demo
any of the instruments!
Aw, dag.
Forever!
No... !
Surprise.
LINDA: Gene, why are you
looking away from everyone
while you're eating? Is
there a butterfly in here
- and it's making you mad?
- No, Mother,
I'm mad at a certain sister
who's made it impossible
for me to be together
with my beloved drum machine
at Ocean Avenue Hi-Fi Emporium
- for three years!
- Louise.
Whoa, why do you assume it was Louise?
- It was you?
- No, it was Louise.
I was trying to help, Gene.
The man was going to
erase all of your patterns,
which I still don't understand
but it sounds pretty bad.
Plus, he wasn't gonna let
you play it anymore anyway.
I could have worn him
down! (chewing angrily)
He still hasn't got
what's coming to him.
We're going to level two now.
First, we served him appetizer justice.
Now we're serving him
main course justice
with a side salad of "Oh, no"
and a bottomless basket
of "Yeah! We went there."
Don't do any of that.
It just makes everything worse!
Okay, that's enough.
No more fighting with
each other or anyone else.
- Uh, yeah.
- And you, Bob.
- Wait, what did I do?
- You have to make up with Teddy.
What's going on with Teddy?
- Nothing. Never mind.
- They're arguing.
Maybe about a sexy dream
Teddy had, maybe not.
- No.
- Just end it, Bob.
Put your hands on his
hand, look into his eyes
and whisper, "I'm sorry.
And I'll always love you."
(sighs) Fine.
I-I mean, I'm not doing that,
but I'll do something like it.
Look at me, I'm a peace broker.
Tina, who are you fighting with?
What? No one.
- Tina...
- No one!
Hey, don't get smart
with me, Miss Missy.
Hold on, hold on.
Now you and me are fightin'.
Let's squash this thing, okay?
Phew. Okay.
Aw, look at Teddy,
- working out front so we see him.
- Mm.
Poor guy.
- Hello.
- Hey, Mort.
- (tires screech, horn honks)
- Burger of the day, please.
- Hello, everyone.
- Hi, Teddy.
- (quietly): Bob, go.
- H-Hi, Teddy.
Um, I just wanted to say I...
- I am sorry.
- Yeah, great.
I'm just gonna stand over here
while you're talking.
(quietly): Bob, go for his hand.
- Touch his hand.
- (grumbles)
- Hey!
- What the? Look!
Mort's sneaking fettuccine in here!
Look at... what's on his lap!
A bunch of fettuccine! Damn you, Mort!
- Have you learned nothing?
- Teddy...
What? Bob, just kick Mort out, right?
- What?
- Fair is fair!
Did you bring that
fettuccine in a cup, Teddy?
What? No! What cup?
It was Mort. Mort had it.
Mort, grab your fettuccine!
Put it back in your pockets!
- Leave!
- I really...
- Teddy, stop.
- Do the first honorable thing
- in your whole life!
- Teddy, you need to stop.
Mort's breaking the fettuccine rules!
But I guess rules don't
apply to Mr. Perfect Mort,
so... I'm leaving!
Okay. Bye!
What'd you say, Bob?
I said "bye."
Fine! Bye!
- Could I get a rag or something?
- (tires screech)
Oh, right. Yeah.
(birds chirping)
So, I've been brainstorming all morning
- on how to fix this.
- Fix what, your cowlick?
Just wet it down. Mlah.
Not that, but thank you.
I'm talking about how
I can prove to Dino
that I should be allowed
to play that drum machine.
Or you could just destroy him.
I'm not talking to you.
I know Mom said to stop
fighting, but I'm still mad.
Come on, Gene. It's what he deserves.
Tina, tell Louise this
isn't her fight to fight.
It's mine. And it's not even
a fight I would have picked.
But now that she started
it, I have to finish it!
Tell Louise...
- Can you repeat that?
- Never mind.
I'm gonna figure this out,
and you're not gonna do anything else.
- Right?
- Fine. Sure.
Totally. Copy that.
Good. Now I got to go to math class.
And we better not be doing fractions,
because those are the devil's numbers!
Okay, Gene. You got it, buddy.
Not gonna get Dino back in any way!
- And that's that.
- Yeah. Hey, hey, guys, guys.
We need to come up with a
plan to get that guy Dino back.
- Damn it.
- Didn't we do that yesterday?
- Or different Dino?
- Same Dino, new plan.
What do we know about this guy?
What does he hate?
Besides kids and modern hairstyles
and pants that fit.
He said he hates glitter.
It was falling off the
guitar I was playing,
and he was all like, "Ew!"
What's his problem? Glitter's beautiful.
Hates glitter. That's good.
- Louise...
- (shushing)
Listen, I-I saw a thing
online called a glitter box.
You put glitter in a
balloon, blow it up,
put it in a box with a tack in
the side, give it to someone.
They think they're getting a present.
They open the box, boom!
(laughs) Balloon pops,
glitter goes everywhere.
I got to call my glitter guy.
It's so quiet when Teddy's
not in here yelling.
I know. Hey, you saw
I tried to apologize, right?
Well, you know he just wants you to care
that he's doing a job at Jimmy Pesto's.
- But I don't care.
- I think he needs you to.
But I need him to not need me to.
And also to be a normal person.
Can't you just go over
there and act like you're mad
that he took the job?
- What? No.
- Yeah. Come on. Do it for Teddy.
Or do you want him to keep
throwing fettuccine at Mort
- for the rest of our lives?
- I mean, maybe.
Okay, so we didn't tell Gene about this.
Not feeling great about that.
The toothpaste is out of the tube, T.
Okay, Jimmy Jr., you're on.
- (phone rings)
- Ocean Ave. Hi-Fi.
(high-pitched): Um, yes. I saw an amp
toward the back of your store,
and I was wondering if it's still there.
Can you describe the amp?
Um, it's black,
and it was all the way
in the back of the store.
Uh, let me take a look.
Could you be more specific?
'Cause we've got a lot of amps.
Never mind. I just remembered, um,
amps are dumb.
- Smooth.
- Damn, J-Ju. Good voice.
Where you been hiding her?
Now we sit and wait.
I like sitting.
Oh, my God! I like waiting!
And that's the secret to our marriage.
We're in revenge mode.
- No hugging, please.
- Oh.
All right, as soon as he opens that box,
he'll disappear into
the biggest glitter cloud
the world's ever seen.
No, no. No, no.
Wait, what's Gene doing here?
Looks like he's going in the store.
Oh, no! He's gonna get glittered!
ZEKE: Uh-oh. Collateral damage!
Ge...
ene!
Gene, Gene, listen to me... (pants)
What are you doing here, Louise?
What are either of you doing here?
I think we all know that
only one of us is over 14.
So, skid-doosh.
I told you not to do anything!
I'm not doing anything.
I just came to get you to...
come play a game.
It's called Cross the Street.
Um, we cross the street
as many times as we can
without getting hit by a car. It's fun.
Not now! I have unfinished business.
Dino, I am here to prove to you
that I deserve to
play that drum machine.
How you gonna do that? With money?
No. You and me are gonna
have a drum machine battle.
- (gasps)
- Do what?
I play, then you play.
If I win, I get to come here
after school anytime I want.
If you win, I walk out that door
and you never see me again.
Not even at a farmers market.
You're gonna lose.
I've been making beats forever.
I'm also in a cover band.
We're called Bell Biv Devo.
We play Bell Biv DeVoe and Devo covers.
That is information I was not aware of,
but I am still ready to battle.
You go first.
Okay, my sweet.
Let's get nasty.
(electronic dance beat plays)
♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba,
boo-boo-boo-boop... ♪
He's actually not bad.
I could see myself dancing to this.
Oh, yeah. It's happening.
I'm doing it.
(laughs): Yeah.
Damn. You go, Gene!
You're giving J-Ju the wiggles.
Yes, he is.
Gene might actually pull this off.
Teddy's starting to
pack up his truck, Bob.
Go over there and give
him a little argument.
(sighs) Oh, okay.
All right, all right, I'm going.
That's a good Bob.
- BOB: Teddy.
- Bob.
(stilted): I'm mad that you
took this job at Jimmy Pesto's.
I knew it! That's why I was trying
to hide it from you,
Bob. (chuckles nervously)
I'm jealous that you're
spending all this time with Jimmy
instead of with me.
Yeah. Part of me said,
uh, "It'll be fine.
Bob's not that petty."
But look at us. Here we are.
- (sighs) Yeah. Yeah.
- Uh...
Yeah, here we are.
What are we gonna do
with us, huh, Bobby?
(laughs) What's going on here, Bob?
You crying because I stole
your handyman/only customer?
- He was.
- Yes!
Damn you, Jimmy Pesto!
Aw! He admitted it!
(chuckles) Ha!
He only goes to your restaurant
because you pay him, Jimmy.
He comes to my restaurant
because he likes it.
Plus, you'll never
have what he and I have,
which is a real friendship in your life.
"Yuh, duh, duh, duh,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Friendship in your life."
That's you. Zoom!
I want what they have.
- What?
- Nothing.
Okay, this is getting a
little awkward for me now.
Uh, I'm just gonna take off,
and I'll see you both tomorrow.
Eh...
- That was nice of you, Bob.
- I know.
The last thing you said sounded real.
- About friendship.
- No, no.
That was... It was all for show, Lin.
- (singsongy): You love Teddy.
- Linda, please.
- You love him.
- Oh, my God.
You're gonna have all of his babies.
(playing intricate beat)
(panting) He's really good.
I guess. If you like rhythm
and cool sounds and stuff.
Sorry, Gene. Good effort though.
It was just like a kid
going up against an adult.
M'kay. Well, you win, Dino,
fair and square.
By a mile!
I wish Dino was our dad.
You put up a hell of a fight, Gene.
Yeah, I did.
- My way, by myself.
- What do you mean?
Louise, when you fight my battles,
it makes me feel like you don't
think I can take care of myself.
I... guess I never
thought of it that way.
Someone hurts you and my
brain goes into destroy mode
and I just want to... (growls)
But, uh, yeah, I could, uh...
I could chill out a little bit, maybe.
- I'm sorry.
- Mom would be so proud of both you guys.
- And me.
- Goodbye, Dino.
And goodbye to you,
sweet lady drum machine.
I'll see you when I turn 14
or save up $215,
which would be in my mid-20s,
so I guess when I turn 14 then.
Wait. Gene, listen.
You sounded pretty good on that thing.
You-you remind me of
a young, annoying me.
- Thank you?
- So, how 'bout this.
You can come in the
first Monday of each month
and play the drum machine
until someone buys it.
We'll call it "Wash Your Hands Mondays."
Yay! Thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you!
Well, I guess we'll all be leaving now.
Just gonna grab our stuff and go.
Congratulations, Gene.
You got something, which
is better than nothing.
Yes! I love something!
So, what's in the box?
Is it an apology present? Gimme, gimme.
- Gene, no.
- (grunts)
(Louise shouting)
♪ ♪
♪ Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-
bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪
♪ Space ♪
♪ Bl-Bl-Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-
bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪
♪ Don't you want to
hear my space cowbell? ♪
♪ Don't you want to
hear it right now? ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-
bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Space ♪
♪ Don't you want to
hear my space cowbell? ♪
♪ Don't you want to hear it ♪
- ♪ Right now? ♪
- ♪ Space. ♪
whole cafeteria fiasco?
Are you talking about the
lunch lady shorting you
- a couple of tater tots?
- Aka Tater-gate? Yes.
I told you, Gene. You should
have shoved the tots you did get
in the lunch lady's tailpipe.
And burn that bridge? No.
Plus, any tot's better than not.
Suit yourself. Get walked all over.
Speaking of walking all over,
I'm gonna swing by Ocean Avenue
Hi-Fi Emporium for a little bit.
That's, like, the third time this week.
Geez, for a guy who doesn't steal stuff,
you spend a lot of time at a pawnshop.
It's more than a pawnshop...
It's a gathering place
for gently used musical
instruments and equipment.
And if you very convincingly
suggest that you're thinking
about buying something,
they let you play with it!
Gene, I think the guy's
starting to suspect
you don't really have any money.
Why? Just 'cause he says, "You again?"
every time Gene walks in?
That's just his greeting
for everyone, I think.
Anyway, there's this drum machine.
I'm not saying we're in love,
but I can't stop thinking
about it, and I think it
feels the same way about me.
- Lucky.
- I want to try out
this idea I have for a
sound/beat/electronic music
installation.
It's a space cowbell that goes:
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh ♪
♪ Boo, space. ♪
- You guys want to join me?
- I could go for space cowbell.
No. I want to go help Mom
and Dad at the restaurant.
(laughs): Of course I'm coming!
Hey, Teddy! Late lunch
for you today, huh?
Me? No, I couldn't. I-I already ate.
Just popped in to say hi.
So, hi.
- Hi.
- But boy,
I would love a burger.
But I-I already ate.
- Yeah, you mentioned that.
- Anyway, I have this job this week
that might keep me away from
lunch here for a couple of days.
- Nothing weird.
- Why are you yelling?
- Was I?!
- You still are.
Sorry. But I'll be back a lot. Right?
So after the job's over,
it'll be like... old times.
Just like old times, right?
- We'll see you then, huh?
- Mm-hmm.
Don't change. Stay the same.
- (chuckles)
- BOB: Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Okay, all right.
- LINDA: Well...
- TEDDY: Uh, okay.
- You... - So long.
- You know where to find us.
- I'm gonna go.
- Yeah, we'll be here.
- Yup. Yup.
-Goodbye, Teddy. -Bye.
-Door's... door's that way.
- Okay, yup. I'm... all right.
- Yeah, you're walking into a window.
(laughs) Where... what am
I trying to do here, Bobby?
He's acting weird, huh?
Yeah. Maybe he drank
paint by accident again.
Yeah.
- Hey, Dino.
- You again?
Yup. I just came in to show my
sisters that sweet beat machine
that I'm totally thinking about buying
with all of my money that I have
- that I was just recently counting.
- Right.
Hello, my pretty.
(electronic dance beat plays)
Eh... ?
That's... exactly what
I thought it would be.
Powerful, right? Feel free to just...
let your body go.
Yeah, let my body go
all the way over here.
You guys think I could
pull off a tambourine?
I could go by "Tambourine Tina."
- "Tambourina"?
- Maybe "Tina-bourine."
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh ♪
- ♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh...
♪ - (Dino groaning loudly)
Look at you with your
fingers in your ears!
That's a fun dance.
Huh.
- What's... going on?
- What?
One of the tall plants
in front of Pesto's
- is moving by itself.
- Huh?
Is that Teddy?
- Of course it is.
- Hi, guys.
I-I just cut through the
alley across the street
to get in here from that
job I might have mentioned
that's not even on this street.
Oh. That's, um, that's great.
Okay! Fine! My job this
week is at Jimmy Pesto's!
There, I said it! Happy?
Is that what you want to hear?!
Teddy, calm down.
You would have done the same thing, Bob!
I-I didn't say anything, Teddy.
Oh, okay! The silent treatment, huh?
Real mature, Bob! Real mature!
What am I supposed to
do, not take the job?
- I got to work, Bob!
- Teddy...
What are you gonna do,
tell me which jobs I can take?
- No. I...
- Congratulations. You got
everything you wanted!
I'll just shoot you an
e-mail about my upcoming jobs,
and then you can just cross out the ones
that you don't want me to take!
What the hell was that?
Yeah. That was weird, even for Teddy.
(gasps) I bet I know what's going on.
-What?
-He probably had a sexy dream about me,
and now he doesn't know how to act.
It... doesn't seem
like it's that at all.
- What else could it be?
- Well, probably the exact thing
- he said it was.
- No.
A woman knows.
(electronic dance beat plays)
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh ♪
♪ Bluh-bluh-bluh-bluh-
bluh-bluh-bluh... ♪
Uh, Dino?
I think you accidentally
turned the drum machine off.
No, I definitely meant to do that.
- What?!
- Every time you come in,
it's the same thing... you
get your sticky little fingers
all over the drum machine!
Little? Thank you.
And it's pretty obvious by now
that you're not gonna buy this thing,
so you're just wearing
out the merchandise.
I'm making it better!
I'm saving all my patterns,
so whoever buys this
is gonna get a gold record for free!
Um, I was gonna clear those patterns,
so people wouldn't think
the thing is haunted.
(gasps) How dare you!
Gene's unappreciated in his time,
- but give it another week.
- Yeah, trying being a Di-yes
instead of a Di-no.
Come back when you have
money and clean hands, huh?
Until then, don't touch the instrument!
Now, scooch!
Wow, Dino, those are
some harsh words. I think...
it's best if one of us leaves right now.
- I work here!
- It wouldn't be work
if you loved what you did.
I was just about to buy
two or three tambourines,
but I guess we're leaving. Oh, well.
You probably get this all the time,
but you should be a little nicer, Dino.
You probably get this
all the time... goodbye.
You gave my brother sad face,
and that kind of gives me mad face.
You're giving me "I don't care" face.
Hey, quick question:
you ever see John Wick?
Yeah. Why?
Well, I'm John Wick,
and Gene is my puppy,
and you're those guys who
did something to the puppy.
I'm not sure what, because
I only saw the trailer.
But I know enough about it
to know that you're gonna pay.
Pay!
You seem a little quiet today, Gene.
Well, these are soft tacos.
They can only get so loud.
Are you sure you're okay from yesterday?
The whole drum machine thing?
'Cause if you want to
talk, I've got two ears,
and they're tuned to
the listening station.
I'm fine. You know what
I realized yesterday?
I don't even really
like that drum machine.
I mean, all those zappy sounds, right?
And the way the rubbery buttons felt
under my soft, soft fingers?
Oh, who am I kidding? I
love that drum machine!
There it is. Let it out.
That guy Dino's a dingleberry
wrapped in a dirty diaper.
And people like him need to
get what's coming to them.
Whoa, no need for dingle-bashing.
So what are we gonna
do to get Dino back?
No, no, no, no. Don't do anything.
Maybe I'll go by Ocean
Avenue Hi-Fi and talk to him.
See if I can win him over
with my effortless charm.
Yeah. Do that. Makes sense.
I'm gonna start walking to class now.
I'm moving a little
slower than usual today.
(Gene groaning quietly)
(groaning growing louder)
Hey. You guys want
to help me get revenge
- on a guy who's mean to Gene?
- Who was mean to Gene?
What did they do to my
precious little lamb?
I guess I'll do it if
it doesn't take that long
and I don't have to do much.
That's my kindhearted boy!
I could move some things around.
I'm moving my thing around right now.
Great. So, I was thinking...
Louise, are you sure
this is a good idea?
It sounded like Gene didn't
want to do anything to Dino.
(chuckles): Tina, Tina, Tina, trust me.
We have to teach Dino a lesson.
Gene is gonna thank us for it.
So here's what we're gonna do.
(low groaning)
Hold on, just gonna put
my hand over Tina's mouth.
- (muffled groaning)
- Okay, so...
TEDDY: Good burger today, Bob.
- Wh-What'd you use, beef?
- Uh, yeah.
- Just, uh, just trying it out.
- (chuckles): Well...
it's a good idea.
Stick with it, because, uh...
it's, uh... this is great.
- Eh.
- Yeah. Stick with what works.
(chuckles) We-we got a
little crazy yesterday, huh?
Didn't we? Eh.
I'm just happy things are
getting back to normal.
We both said some things that we regret,
but it's all in the past.
So you really like the burger, huh?
- Like it? It's fantastic.
- Well, you've taken two bites.
You want me to heat it up or something?
- What are you trying to say?
- I'm asking if anything's wrong.
You saying that I get free fettuccine
on the job at Pesto's?
That I come here full of fettuccine?!
- That doesn't make sense!
- (sighs)
Oh, yeah, I was wondering
what was on your neck.
- It's a noodle.
- That's not from me!
I-It's a hazard of the job!
There's noodles everywhere over there!
I don't care either way, Teddy.
If you don't care, then
why are you yelling?!
Because this whole thing is stupid!
Teddy, are you sure this
isn't because you had
- a sexy dream about me?
- What? No!
Recently? No!
- I'm still not sure about this.
- Watch and learn, T.
You'll see how a little
thing called "justice" works.
Okay, I'll send you in one at a time.
You ask to play an instrument.
Start playing loud and
proud and don't stop.
Does it matter what we play?
Nope. As long as it's annoying.
Because I can play "Lady
in Red" on a keyboard.
Damn it, Jimmy Jr., this is
not a "Lady in Red" situation.
Why is nothing ever a
"Lady in Red" situation?!
Someday, buddy. You'll do it.
God, I hope I'm there.
There's no need to get
worked up over all this, Bob.
Oh, my God, Teddy,
I-I can't stress enough
how much I really don't care.
I don't want you to feel
like you have to eat here,
especially if you already ate
some crappy, overcooked pasta.
- Hello!
- Oh, hey, Mort.
- What'll it be, Mort?
- What's good here?
- Burgers? Ha-ha-ha!
- (Bob chuckles)
Oh, I see. I get it. I see!
You and your inside jokes with Mort!
Is that how it is now?
What are you talking about?
Oh, it's just a coincidence...
The same week I do a job at Pesto's,
all of the sudden Mort comes in
here and says something funny?
Mort said something
funny before. I think.
He's using you, Mort!
Can't you see that?
- He doesn't even care about you!
- Huh?
- Teddy, please.
- He's trying to make me jealous,
but it's not working.
Come on, Mort, let's get out of here.
- Uh...
- We're leaving! Get your things!
I was gonna have a burger?
Fine! Suit yourself!
Uh, so, burger of the day?
Please. With a side of béar-mace.
(chuckles): See? I-I say funny things.
- Mm-hmm. -
Yeah, yeah.
Okay, it's go time.
Zeke, we're starting with you.
- Go, go, go, go, go!
- I'm on it!
Hi there. I want to buy
that funny-looking guitar,
but, uh, I want to see
if it can handle what
I'm putting out first.
Fine. But watch out, the
guy who sold this to me
was a glam guy... I keep wiping it down,
but there's always more glitter on it.
I hate glitter!
I get it... You're glitter bitter.
All right! Listen to her purr!
(electric guitar blasting)
♪ Bongo, bongo, bongo,
bongo, bongo, bongo... ♪
- ♪ Bongo, bongo, bongo... ♪
- Hey. Remember us?
I was the one who was about to
heavily invest in tambourines.
It was probably a little easier
when you only had my brother
in here drum-machining
his heart out, huh?
You still feel good
about making him feel bad?
- What?!
- I said, you still feel good
about making him feel bad?!
I can't hear you!
Right. It's hard to yell my
big speech with all the noise!
It's fine! I'll yell louder!
You just got John Wick'd! Boom!
Okay, Dino, I know you
wanted me to stay away
until I had some money and clean hands,
and I may not have the money
now, but my hands are...
Damn it! Okay, how about this?
You get ten percent of
all my future earnings
from playing that drum
machine. What do you say?
(high-pitched): You got it, Gene!
(normal voice): This
could actually work.
- (cacophonous music blasting)
- What's going on?
What are you guys doing here?
New store policy!
No one under 12 can demo
any of the instruments!
- No!
- ZEKE: That's cool.
I'm 13. (laughs)
New store policy!
No one under 14 can demo
any of the instruments!
Aw, dag.
Forever!
No... !
Surprise.
LINDA: Gene, why are you
looking away from everyone
while you're eating? Is
there a butterfly in here
- and it's making you mad?
- No, Mother,
I'm mad at a certain sister
who's made it impossible
for me to be together
with my beloved drum machine
at Ocean Avenue Hi-Fi Emporium
- for three years!
- Louise.
Whoa, why do you assume it was Louise?
- It was you?
- No, it was Louise.
I was trying to help, Gene.
The man was going to
erase all of your patterns,
which I still don't understand
but it sounds pretty bad.
Plus, he wasn't gonna let
you play it anymore anyway.
I could have worn him
down! (chewing angrily)
He still hasn't got
what's coming to him.
We're going to level two now.
First, we served him appetizer justice.
Now we're serving him
main course justice
with a side salad of "Oh, no"
and a bottomless basket
of "Yeah! We went there."
Don't do any of that.
It just makes everything worse!
Okay, that's enough.
No more fighting with
each other or anyone else.
- Uh, yeah.
- And you, Bob.
- Wait, what did I do?
- You have to make up with Teddy.
What's going on with Teddy?
- Nothing. Never mind.
- They're arguing.
Maybe about a sexy dream
Teddy had, maybe not.
- No.
- Just end it, Bob.
Put your hands on his
hand, look into his eyes
and whisper, "I'm sorry.
And I'll always love you."
(sighs) Fine.
I-I mean, I'm not doing that,
but I'll do something like it.
Look at me, I'm a peace broker.
Tina, who are you fighting with?
What? No one.
- Tina...
- No one!
Hey, don't get smart
with me, Miss Missy.
Hold on, hold on.
Now you and me are fightin'.
Let's squash this thing, okay?
Phew. Okay.
Aw, look at Teddy,
- working out front so we see him.
- Mm.
Poor guy.
- Hello.
- Hey, Mort.
- (tires screech, horn honks)
- Burger of the day, please.
- Hello, everyone.
- Hi, Teddy.
- (quietly): Bob, go.
- H-Hi, Teddy.
Um, I just wanted to say I...
- I am sorry.
- Yeah, great.
I'm just gonna stand over here
while you're talking.
(quietly): Bob, go for his hand.
- Touch his hand.
- (grumbles)
- Hey!
- What the? Look!
Mort's sneaking fettuccine in here!
Look at... what's on his lap!
A bunch of fettuccine! Damn you, Mort!
- Have you learned nothing?
- Teddy...
What? Bob, just kick Mort out, right?
- What?
- Fair is fair!
Did you bring that
fettuccine in a cup, Teddy?
What? No! What cup?
It was Mort. Mort had it.
Mort, grab your fettuccine!
Put it back in your pockets!
- Leave!
- I really...
- Teddy, stop.
- Do the first honorable thing
- in your whole life!
- Teddy, you need to stop.
Mort's breaking the fettuccine rules!
But I guess rules don't
apply to Mr. Perfect Mort,
so... I'm leaving!
Okay. Bye!
What'd you say, Bob?
I said "bye."
Fine! Bye!
- Could I get a rag or something?
- (tires screech)
Oh, right. Yeah.
(birds chirping)
So, I've been brainstorming all morning
- on how to fix this.
- Fix what, your cowlick?
Just wet it down. Mlah.
Not that, but thank you.
I'm talking about how
I can prove to Dino
that I should be allowed
to play that drum machine.
Or you could just destroy him.
I'm not talking to you.
I know Mom said to stop
fighting, but I'm still mad.
Come on, Gene. It's what he deserves.
Tina, tell Louise this
isn't her fight to fight.
It's mine. And it's not even
a fight I would have picked.
But now that she started
it, I have to finish it!
Tell Louise...
- Can you repeat that?
- Never mind.
I'm gonna figure this out,
and you're not gonna do anything else.
- Right?
- Fine. Sure.
Totally. Copy that.
Good. Now I got to go to math class.
And we better not be doing fractions,
because those are the devil's numbers!
Okay, Gene. You got it, buddy.
Not gonna get Dino back in any way!
- And that's that.
- Yeah. Hey, hey, guys, guys.
We need to come up with a
plan to get that guy Dino back.
- Damn it.
- Didn't we do that yesterday?
- Or different Dino?
- Same Dino, new plan.
What do we know about this guy?
What does he hate?
Besides kids and modern hairstyles
and pants that fit.
He said he hates glitter.
It was falling off the
guitar I was playing,
and he was all like, "Ew!"
What's his problem? Glitter's beautiful.
Hates glitter. That's good.
- Louise...
- (shushing)
Listen, I-I saw a thing
online called a glitter box.
You put glitter in a
balloon, blow it up,
put it in a box with a tack in
the side, give it to someone.
They think they're getting a present.
They open the box, boom!
(laughs) Balloon pops,
glitter goes everywhere.
I got to call my glitter guy.
It's so quiet when Teddy's
not in here yelling.
I know. Hey, you saw
I tried to apologize, right?
Well, you know he just wants you to care
that he's doing a job at Jimmy Pesto's.
- But I don't care.
- I think he needs you to.
But I need him to not need me to.
And also to be a normal person.
Can't you just go over
there and act like you're mad
that he took the job?
- What? No.
- Yeah. Come on. Do it for Teddy.
Or do you want him to keep
throwing fettuccine at Mort
- for the rest of our lives?
- I mean, maybe.
Okay, so we didn't tell Gene about this.
Not feeling great about that.
The toothpaste is out of the tube, T.
Okay, Jimmy Jr., you're on.
- (phone rings)
- Ocean Ave. Hi-Fi.
(high-pitched): Um, yes. I saw an amp
toward the back of your store,
and I was wondering if it's still there.
Can you describe the amp?
Um, it's black,
and it was all the way
in the back of the store.
Uh, let me take a look.
Could you be more specific?
'Cause we've got a lot of amps.
Never mind. I just remembered, um,
amps are dumb.
- Smooth.
- Damn, J-Ju. Good voice.
Where you been hiding her?
Now we sit and wait.
I like sitting.
Oh, my God! I like waiting!
And that's the secret to our marriage.
We're in revenge mode.
- No hugging, please.
- Oh.
All right, as soon as he opens that box,
he'll disappear into
the biggest glitter cloud
the world's ever seen.
No, no. No, no.
Wait, what's Gene doing here?
Looks like he's going in the store.
Oh, no! He's gonna get glittered!
ZEKE: Uh-oh. Collateral damage!
Ge...
ene!
Gene, Gene, listen to me... (pants)
What are you doing here, Louise?
What are either of you doing here?
I think we all know that
only one of us is over 14.
So, skid-doosh.
I told you not to do anything!
I'm not doing anything.
I just came to get you to...
come play a game.
It's called Cross the Street.
Um, we cross the street
as many times as we can
without getting hit by a car. It's fun.
Not now! I have unfinished business.
Dino, I am here to prove to you
that I deserve to
play that drum machine.
How you gonna do that? With money?
No. You and me are gonna
have a drum machine battle.
- (gasps)
- Do what?
I play, then you play.
If I win, I get to come here
after school anytime I want.
If you win, I walk out that door
and you never see me again.
Not even at a farmers market.
You're gonna lose.
I've been making beats forever.
I'm also in a cover band.
We're called Bell Biv Devo.
We play Bell Biv DeVoe and Devo covers.
That is information I was not aware of,
but I am still ready to battle.
You go first.
Okay, my sweet.
Let's get nasty.
(electronic dance beat plays)
♪ Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba,
boo-boo-boo-boop... ♪
He's actually not bad.
I could see myself dancing to this.
Oh, yeah. It's happening.
I'm doing it.
(laughs): Yeah.
Damn. You go, Gene!
You're giving J-Ju the wiggles.
Yes, he is.
Gene might actually pull this off.
Teddy's starting to
pack up his truck, Bob.
Go over there and give
him a little argument.
(sighs) Oh, okay.
All right, all right, I'm going.
That's a good Bob.
- BOB: Teddy.
- Bob.
(stilted): I'm mad that you
took this job at Jimmy Pesto's.
I knew it! That's why I was trying
to hide it from you,
Bob. (chuckles nervously)
I'm jealous that you're
spending all this time with Jimmy
instead of with me.
Yeah. Part of me said,
uh, "It'll be fine.
Bob's not that petty."
But look at us. Here we are.
- (sighs) Yeah. Yeah.
- Uh...
Yeah, here we are.
What are we gonna do
with us, huh, Bobby?
(laughs) What's going on here, Bob?
You crying because I stole
your handyman/only customer?
- He was.
- Yes!
Damn you, Jimmy Pesto!
Aw! He admitted it!
(chuckles) Ha!
He only goes to your restaurant
because you pay him, Jimmy.
He comes to my restaurant
because he likes it.
Plus, you'll never
have what he and I have,
which is a real friendship in your life.
"Yuh, duh, duh, duh,
blah, blah, blah, blah.
Friendship in your life."
That's you. Zoom!
I want what they have.
- What?
- Nothing.
Okay, this is getting a
little awkward for me now.
Uh, I'm just gonna take off,
and I'll see you both tomorrow.
Eh...
- That was nice of you, Bob.
- I know.
The last thing you said sounded real.
- About friendship.
- No, no.
That was... It was all for show, Lin.
- (singsongy): You love Teddy.
- Linda, please.
- You love him.
- Oh, my God.
You're gonna have all of his babies.
(playing intricate beat)
(panting) He's really good.
I guess. If you like rhythm
and cool sounds and stuff.
Sorry, Gene. Good effort though.
It was just like a kid
going up against an adult.
M'kay. Well, you win, Dino,
fair and square.
By a mile!
I wish Dino was our dad.
You put up a hell of a fight, Gene.
Yeah, I did.
- My way, by myself.
- What do you mean?
Louise, when you fight my battles,
it makes me feel like you don't
think I can take care of myself.
I... guess I never
thought of it that way.
Someone hurts you and my
brain goes into destroy mode
and I just want to... (growls)
But, uh, yeah, I could, uh...
I could chill out a little bit, maybe.
- I'm sorry.
- Mom would be so proud of both you guys.
- And me.
- Goodbye, Dino.
And goodbye to you,
sweet lady drum machine.
I'll see you when I turn 14
or save up $215,
which would be in my mid-20s,
so I guess when I turn 14 then.
Wait. Gene, listen.
You sounded pretty good on that thing.
You-you remind me of
a young, annoying me.
- Thank you?
- So, how 'bout this.
You can come in the
first Monday of each month
and play the drum machine
until someone buys it.
We'll call it "Wash Your Hands Mondays."
Yay! Thank you, thank
you, thank you, thank you!
Well, I guess we'll all be leaving now.
Just gonna grab our stuff and go.
Congratulations, Gene.
You got something, which
is better than nothing.
Yes! I love something!
So, what's in the box?
Is it an apology present? Gimme, gimme.
- Gene, no.
- (grunts)
(Louise shouting)
♪ ♪
♪ Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-
bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪
♪ Space ♪
♪ Bl-Bl-Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-
bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪
♪ Don't you want to
hear my space cowbell? ♪
♪ Don't you want to
hear it right now? ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-
bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo-bloo ♪
♪ ♪
♪ Space ♪
♪ Don't you want to
hear my space cowbell? ♪
♪ Don't you want to hear it ♪
- ♪ Right now? ♪
- ♪ Space. ♪