Bob Hearts Abishola (2019–…): Season 4, Episode 4 - Inner Boss Bitch - full transcript

Who's the best boss ever?

Keep it up, everybody.

You and you and you
and you, strong cores.

Strong brand.

No. No. No.

Yes. Yes. Yes.

Ooh, no.

Mm, puppies over polka dots.

Ms. Wheeler?

Oh. Hi, sorry.

I was just, uh, doing a
little creative meditation.



Oh, didn't mean to interrupt.

No, no, no. No. What
can I do ya for?

I don't know if you remember
me. Jared, Customer Relations.

Sure, Jared.

Customer Relations,
of course.

I just wanted to say your
memo on brand engagement

was really insightful.

You read my memo?

Read it?

I memorized it.

No.

"Our brand relies on
four core principles

"or, as I like to call them...

The four
toes of success."



Oh, my God!

I'm kind of a marketing nerd.

Hoping to do what
you do some day.

Well, that is great. You
know, dream that dream.

And stay hungry. But
also stay curious.

Would you
ever have time to...

to give me some career advice?

Yeah, I kind of just did.

Right, sorry, uh...
Thank you for your time.

Uh, h-hang on.

You feel stuck, don't you?

I do. Oh...

I know what that's like.

I wish I had someone like me
to help me when I was you.

Sure. Mm-hmm.

You know what?
I'm taking you on.

You just got yourself a mentor.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Thank you, Ms. Wheeler.

Christina. Christina.

Okay, well,

I-I should get
back to the phones.

Oh, you go get 'em, Jerry
from Customer Relations.

It-it's Jared.

It's J... Yeah, Jared.

That's what I said.
So...

I got to write another memo.

Ow, ow, ow.

Damn.

He cooks dinner and
makes a mean mojito.

Bob, I might have to
leave my husband for you.

Well, I do not want yours.

It's so funny.

You married a businessman,
and now you have a wife.

Hey, I am a modern man.

There is strength
and masculinity

in being a caretaker.

You keep telling yourself that.

Don't listen to her, Bob.
You put in your 30 years.

If you want to sit around
and make us lamb chops,

I'll be right
here, baby. Gloria.

Hmm? You have
your own husband.

Why do these towels smell funny?

Ooh, what's that... lavender?

Straight from my herb garden.

You have a herb garden? I do.

Okay.

Bob makes his own
fabric softener.

It's just baking soda,
vinegar and essential oils,

and a cap full of love.

Can I get some of that?

Uh, you want lavender
or bayou breeze?

Oh, take me to the bayou.

Uh, what about me?

Do I not deserve
nice-smelling sheets?

There's a Costco
on the way home,

knock yourself out.

He even holds a
grudge like a woman.

Are you expecting anyone else?

Oh, maybe someday.

Not tonight.

Oh, thanks.

It's less sad if you take it.

You guys on a date?

Must be nice.

Uh...

r-room for one more?

Hey. Oh, uh, I guess, sure.

Thanks.

Oh, uh,

I had a business dinner,

but my client's...

dog had puppies.

At least you have an excuse,

I was drinking
alone like a loser.

Oh. I remember that feeling.

So, how do you do it?

How do you break through

to an executive position?

Oh, it's simple.

I had to be willing to
do whatever it takes.

Do whatever it takes, okay.

I'll tell you a secret,

I quit my family's
company for this job.

Wow. Yeah.

Wow.

This Thanksgiving, I'm
gonna be eating KFC

alone in my apartment.

But when I'm crying
into that bucket,

I'll still be winning.

Christina, that
must've been scary.

It was.

But I faced my fear
and I overcame it.

That sounds like the
subject for another memo.

Oh, my God. Yes.

Excuse me.

You forgot to set this table.

After working a double,

those jets feel so
good on my feet.

Mm-hmm. My back has
been killing me.

'Cause you been on
your feet all day.

Because I was on
my back all night.

Wait until I tell you
what happened yesterday.

Oh, is this the
Dr. Chakraborty story?

This is great. You
guys are gonna love it.

We were scrubbing in for
surgery... - Mm-hmm.

And then he takes
a personal call.

It wasn't even an emergency,

it was his girlfriend
Cheryl. Mm-hmm.

Cheryl from the gift shop?

Yep. Apparently,
they're a thing.

Yes.

It's been going on for, like...

For three months.

Sorry. I should let
you tell the story.

You have told it all.

Well, not the part
where they spent

a steamy weekend in
Cleveland together.

You go.

They were in Cleveland together.

It's boring the way you tell it.

Bob, please continue.

You guys ready for this?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Rumor has it, Cheryl's pregnant.

Ooh, no!

Yes. She's going
from gift shop clerk

to the thoracic
surgeon baby mama.

Ooh... Now, that is
how you tell a story!

Spill that tea, sock man.

So, when I left the company,

my mother said I was
dead to her.

But you know what? Right now,
I feel more alive than ever.

But it's still kind of sad

that you don't have her support,

that she's not proud
of all your success.

No. It's not sad.

It's just life.

So, where you from?

Toronto.

Ooh. Exotic.

Hey, where's
that Canadian accent, eh?

I moved here when I was six.

Kids in school kind
of beat it out of me.

Aw...

We can be so cruel
to our immigrants.

I apologize for saying "eh".

It's all right.

Okay.

So, um, what do you think...

Should we get another round?

Or maybe...

And I'm taking a chance here...

Have a nightcap at my place?

Okay, Jared.

I had a feeling we might be
headed in that direction, um...

But lesson number one:

when you scale the
corporate ladder,

you don't mix the personal
with the business.

Can't blame me for trying.

No, I cannot.

And you haven't
even seen me naked.

That was fun, huh? Yes.

You had a good time.

I'm all done here. You
want to watch a movie?

Mm, I think I'm
going to go and read.

Oh, okay.

What are you doing?

Well, you read,

I'll watch the iPad
right next to you.

Everybody wins.

Oh.

What's the matter?

I do not want to offend you.

Don't worry about
it. What's up?

I have been at the
hospital all day

and we've spent
every moment together

since I got home.

I need a little space.

Got it.

You are offended.

No, I'm not.

I actually want some space, too.

Good. Enjoy your movie.

And welcome to Fact
or Fiction.

I'm your host, Bob Baker.

Hello, Bob.

What are you doing tomorrow?

What are we doing tomorrow?

Eh, my sister wants
to go fabric shopping.

I'm not doing anything.

Let's go fishing.

Oh, have you learned
how to drive the boat?

Nope, but if I can
drive my wife crazy,

I can certainly drive a boat.

Wonderful. See you then.

What's going on?

Uh, Bob is having
problems in his marriage,

so I get to go fishing.

Morning, boss.

Hi.

This was certainly not the plan.

No. Certainly not.

Regrets?

Yeah, maybe.

I can't help feeling
like I'm a bad mentor.

Oh, I disagree.

You taught me quite
a bit last night.

I should go.

Are you sure? You can
hang out for a while.

My mom's making pancakes.

Your-your mom?

What, is she visiting
from out of town?

No. No. Of course she's not.

This is wonderful. Thank
you for the invitation.

You're welcome.

Would you like to talk
about your marital strife?

No, thank you.

Good.

You know, a lot of women
would be very grateful

to have a husband waiting
on 'em hand and foot.

So we are talking about it.

I'm fine with her
friends busting my chops,

but I expected more from her.

Oh! Here we go! Olu will be
eating fresh fish tonight.

No.

Tell the truth... Do you
think I made a mistake

stepping back from MaxDot?

I think you did what
you needed to do

to be happy. Exactly.

Which was a mistake.

Never mind. Bob,

you married a traditional
Nigerian woman.

She was brought
up to believe that

if her husband is
home all the time,

he is either lazy
or close to death.

Well, maybe what she was brought up
to believe is wrong.

Interesting.

Tell her that, see what happens.

Maybe I will.

Uh, w-what are you doing?

I'm gonna tell her.

No, I did not mean now.

I-I want to catch a fish.

Well, we can stop at the
market on the way home.

Nobody needs to know.

Uh-oh.

What is it?

There's something
wrong with this thing.

Oh, why?

Perhaps God is trying
to save your marriage.

That's cute. That's very cute.

Christina Wheeler.

HR? Why do they
want to see me?

Yeah. I didn't
file a complaint.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Oh, God. Oh, God.

Really, Jared?

You told them I
coerced you? You said

to do whatever it takes.

Not to me, to other people!

For what it's worth...

you're a really good mentor.

Well, for what it's worth,

the only good thing

about hooking up with you
was your mother's pancakes.

There she is.

Ah, Christina.

How do you find your way
out of here every day?

What are you doing here?

Oh, I just had a free afternoon.

You know, for the
rest of my life.

Are you drunk? Don't worry.

I Ubered.

I may be a sexual predator,

but I am not irresponsible.

Boop.

What are you talking
about?

I was terminated

for having inappropriate
sexual relations

with a "subordinant."

No.

Yeah, it was a big
whoopsie for me.

So, what do you want to do...
Want to get out of here,

go see a movie?

I am working.

Have you called
Bob or your mother?

I can't, they hate me.

No, they do not.

You're the only one
who still loves me.

Okay...

You do love me, right?

Of course.

Say it.

Christina, I am working.

Oh, God.

You hate me, too.
What's going on?

I'm a monster!

Where's the damn Coast Guard?

Coast Guard is for oceans.

We are in a lake.

Well, then where's
the Lake Guard?

Did you check to see
if we are out of gas?

Uh, yeah, we're good.

I would like to look.

Okay, we're out of gas.

Did you not think to
check before we left?

I thought when I bought the
boat it came with a full tank.

That's not unreasonable.

No. Just stupid.

All right, let's not turn on
each other till we get hungry.

I want to go home.

Yeah. Me too.

My wife loves me.

My wife does, too.

Sometimes.

Can I ask you a question?

If it's gonna make me feel
dumb, I'm already there.

Why did you buy this boat?

'Cause I earned it.

I deserve nice things.

Is it making you happy?

Not at the moment, no.

When was the last
time you were happy?

I know where you're
going with this, Tunde.

You can stop.

It was not on a lake,

and certainly not
sitting in a jacuzzi

with your wife's girlfriends.

You heard about that?

I wish I had not.

Bob,

I believe the last time
you were truly happy

was sitting at
your father's desk,

selling socks.

You trying to get me
to jump overboard?

You have a gift, Bob.

Selling socks?

Well, it's not a very
glamorous or sexy gift,

some might even call it boring.

But it is yours.

I guess.

Go back to work.

Your wife will like you better.

You will like you better.

I will like you...

about the same.

Thanks, Tunde.

Yeah. What are you doing?

Eh, maybe there is
a flare gun in here

and we can signal
for help. Good idea.

This appears to be a
container of gasoline.

Oh, cool, we're saved.

How could you not
know this was here?

I didn't even know
that seat lifted up.

If anybody asks,

you are here because
of a medical emergency.

My life is over!

Very good.

Actually, her blood
pressure's pretty high.

Here, have a Jell-O
and try and forget

that you threw your career away

for a man who lives
with his mother.

Thanks for taking care of me.

You girls are my best friends.

Hmm. That's strange.

You are barely an
acquaintance to me.

We have to go back to work
now. Will you be okay?

Oh, sure, go ahead.

I'm used to being alone.

Good.

Christina, I don't know
what else to do for you.

Give her some words
of encouragement.

This mistake you have
made is just one of

the many mistakes in your life,

and you will make many more.

Oh, God.

Maybe try some different words.

You are a resilient
and determined woman.

And I know that before long

you'll put all of
this behind you.

My LinkedIn page has an alert

for sexual misconduct.

Perhaps you'll put it behind
you in a different country.

You will find a way.

I believe in you.

Thank you so much
for saying that.

Okay.

Hug?

Oh, her blood
pressure's coming down.

There's my poor baby.

You called my mother?

Oh, her blood pressure's
going back up.

Oh, God.

Here's
your coffee, honey.

Thank you.

Are you cold? You look cold.

I'm fine.

No, you're not. You're cold.

I'm surprised you're not
ripping me a new one.

Maybe later, when you're feeling
a little better about yourself.

You know, you're the
reason I left MaxDot.

I know, and if it
helps to blame me,

I can take it.

No, I screwed up.

It's all my fault.

It's society's fault.

Call me old-fashioned,

but mutually-consenting
coworkers

ought to be able to
hump one another.

You'd think so, right? Oh,

you'll get through this.

Doesn't feel like
it. Oh, you will.

And I'll be with you
every step of the way.

I love you, Mom.

I love you, too, sweetie.

So, did you use protection

or am I gonna finally
get that grandbaby?

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