Bob Hearts Abishola (2019–…): Season 4, Episode 22 - Uncharted Waters of Mediocrity - full transcript
Previously on
Bob Hearts Abishola...
The last time
I saw you in the flesh,
you were sitting
in that chair.
Ah, the flesh.
I don't miss it.
So, what's the plan, son?
I don't know.
Thinking about
a vanilla shake.
That's exactly what I'd do.
Eat yourself sick?
Fill the hole.
You do it with food,
I did it with Scotch.
You also gambled.
Hey!
If I wanted to talk to my wife,
I would've visited my wife.
The point is,
you do what you have to do
so you can get back to work
the next day.
Call me if you need me.
I'll always need you, Dad.
All right.
What do you think?
Mm... Very dapper.
Bob Wheeler is wearing
last year's spring collection
because he couldn't
bring himself to pay full price
for a Hugo Boss suit.
(chuckles) You may want to
take off the tag.
Eh, leave it on.
I want potential
business partners to know
I hold out for the best price.
This factory is going
to change everything.
All over the world,
when people see a foot,
they will picture your face.
Why stop at feet?
I could do gloves.
It's really just
five tiny socks.
Mm-hmm.
My dear, you can cover any
extremity you set your mind to.
Paparazzi is gonna love us.
"Sock mogul
and surgeon wife."
Hmm. I prefer,
"Johns Hopkins educated surgeon
and sock husband."
I should be going. Okay.
Hey, call me
the second you hear from them.
I don't want to find out
you got into medical school
from your mom's Facebook.
Mummy has had it on Facebook
since I applied.
(door opens)
What's up, buttercup?
Dad? What the hell
are you doing here?
Well, you tell me.
What's got you circling
the cuckoo's nest this time?
I'm fine.
Why don't you go haunt
somebody else?
Hey now, that's offensive.
You see any chains here?
Did I say, "Ooh"?
I'm not a ghost.
As far as I can tell,
I'm some kind
of physical manifestation
of your subconscious,
here to help you externalize
your stresses and insecurities,
or... you did shrooms.
I didn't do shrooms.
I don't think.
Well, let's figure this out.
How's the old lady?
Marriage is great.
How's the really old lady?
Mom's good, too.
You were always
too much of a coward
to have any real addictions.
Huh. I guess nothing's wrong.
Exactly. I'll see you
the next time I go nuts.
I look forward to it.
You know something's wrong.
I know!
("Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing)
This camera thing's
looking at me funny.
Is it on?
Oh!
It's voice activated.
This is the future.
Kind of cool, huh?
(deep voice):
I am the great and powerful Bob.
When Abishola
starts med school,
I'm gonna be in Baltimore a lot.
We have to adapt.
Only Mr. Wheeler may adapt.
If anyone else wants to teleconference,
they must use
their paid time off.
BOB:
First things first,
I want to update you on
our negotiations with Hanes.
Everything looks g...
Bob, you froze up.
What do you think
was coming next?
I heard a "guh."
So, "good"?
Could be "great."
Or "grave."
What the hell?
This is a train wreck.
(banging)
Son of a bitch!
Somebody brought
their weekend mouth.
BOB:
There we go.
I showed Hanes
how much we could save them,
and now they're squirming
on our line like a giant tuna.
We will reel in
the son of a bitch. Kofo.
It is business talk.
You guys are really
moving up to the big leagues.
We're really moving up
to the big leagues!
(cheering)
Of course, they're gonna be
having all the fun.
You're gonna be
in Baltimore,
eating crab cakes
with your mother-in-law.
Future's looking bright,
huh, guys?
(crunching)
Mom, can you eat
something quieter?
The camera's following you.
That is a wonderful idea, Christina.
What is?
(crunch)
Kofo and I have
a whole mood board
if you'd like to see it.
I-I'm sorry, what was the idea?
(crunching)
Bob, if this is gonna work,
you got to pay attention.
I am paying attention!
Are you talking?
We can't hear you.
Can you see me talking?
This is friggin' painful.
We lost him.
Ugh, this is gonna be hell.
(laughing)
That's it.
What?
You don't want to go
to Baltimore.
(laughing)
You are screwed, buddy boy.
Excuse me, excuse me, move.
Whoa, too far, too far.
(panting)
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hey! No running
in my hall.
You would think
with all the sex I have,
I'd be in better shape.
(exhales)
My cousin Adeppo's daughter
just got her Johns Hopkins
acceptance email.
Oluwa mi o!
Now you see why I am glistening.
We need to remember
this moment.
There's nothing.
Oh. Well, still
a nice picture.
Give it to me.
It's probably
in your junk folder.
Oh, of course.
The junk folder, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you have another junk folder?
Oh, no.
I-It's okay.
Maybe they're sending
the acceptance letters
in alphabetical order.
My last name is Adebambo.
Maybe they are going
youngest to oldest.
In that case,
you'd be very last.
Let's not sit and
stare at the screen.
A watched pot never boils.
Who says?
It's an expression.
Well, it's a stupid one.
I watch pots boil all day.
Refresh the email.
Refresh!
I'm gonna go check
on my patients.
Good idea.
Because a watched patient
never dies.
Refresh!
I am refreshing!
Do not shout.
I'm sorry! This is
very stressful for me!
This quaint row house is in
one of Baltimore's
most desirable neighborhoods.
Walking distance
from Johns Hopkins.
Keep looking
until you find something
that includes the words
"gaudy" or "extravagant."
I did not realize we'd be
house hunting already.
Uh, that's what I agreed to,
pack up and start over.
No turning back.
B-Town or bust.
I think people call it B'more.
Well, I couldn't
"B'more" excited.
Lying to your wife.
You get that from me.
Hey, check this one out.
Lot of room.
Beautiful kitchen.
Look at that fancy chandelier.
So ostentatious.
I love it.
Well, I think I need
a little time
to see about
the school situation.
Uh... For Dele.
I already picked
Eastern Technical.
It's the best school
in the Baltimore area.
It's tough to get into,
but who's gonna say no
to my grades and this face?
See? Everything's
gonna be great.
You are right.
Yeah, right.
Another Milano for
my little chocolate cookie?
(laughing):
Do not make me spill my tea.
(knocking)
Well, if you do,
I will sop you up.
(laughing)
Abishola!
E kaasan, Uncle. Auntie.
Did you get any mail for me?
There is a stack over there.
It is all junk.
Well, except for the birthday
card from her dentist.
What? If it comes
to Tunde's house,
Tunde is going to open it.
When I get him presents,
I have them delivered
to the neighbor.
Who also opens them.
It has to be here.
What are you looking for?
Oh, um...
my credit card bill.
Other people with
the same credit card company
have already been emailed
their statements.
Do you see that panic?
That is why we will
never go paperless.
E kaasan, Auntie.
Kaasan, Morenike.
You look nice.
I have an interview
at the new hospital across town.
The fancy one where
the mayor got his colonoscopy.
You must get this job.
It is the first step to you
becoming the best in your field.
Yes, Auntie.
Even if you do not,
you will be fine.
Well... no.
She would be an embarrassment.
Of course.
But because
something is the best,
does not mean
it's the only option.
Eh? Maybe God has other plans.
(laughter)
Very funny, Abishola.
A-As if anything less than
the best is acceptable.
(laughter)
Can you imagine?
To fail my family
and the community
and just say "whoopsie"?
(laughter)
This house has a nice big yard.
Perfect place
to put yourself out to pasture.
I'm still gonna be
taking care of things.
And if I put my office
in this unfinished basement,
and run the washer and dryer,
it'll feel like
I never left the factory.
You see the problem here?
I know that
you don't believe you.
Okay, fine.
Look, I just brought
manufacturing back to Detroit.
I deserve to stick around
and enjoy that ride.
Don't tell me, tell her.
Hey, honey.
I didn't think you wanted me
eating like that.
These are not for you.
Anybody else coming?
'Cause I'm pretty sure
that's the family feast.
Ooh, I'll take one.
These are my fries!
What is going on?
Nothing.
You're talking to a guy
who's eaten his way
through those bags
on more than one occasion.
What's up?
(sighs)
I never heard
from Johns Hopkins.
Which means I did not get in.
Aw, honey. Come here.
MAX:
Now you don't have to move!
And you didn't have
to be honest.
Go ahead, stroke her back.
Really sell it.
Okay.
Patient in 422
needs assistance.
How can we work
at a time like this?
My friend is a failure.
They should ask
to speak with a doctor,
which clearly I am not.
No, you are not.
You know, if our roles
were reversed,
you'd tell me to stop moping
and focus on work.
(sighs)
At least I give good advice.
I miss angry Abishola.
This pathetic one is a buzzkill.
Give her time,
she'll be all right.
She has never failed before.
We are in uncharted waters
of mediocrity.
We need to be supportive
and build her up.
That is going to be difficult
when I can barely
look her in the eye.
(chuckles):
Oh, hello!
The patient wanted
the TV remote,
which luckily
I am qualified for.
Yes, you are.
GLORIA:
Listen to me.
You are smarter
and more compassionate
than half the doctors
in this hospital.
They are the half that
did not go to Johns Hopkins.
I know things look bleak now,
but after the storm comes
a beautiful rainbow.
Right, Kemi?
Eh.
Kemi!
Abishola.
Listen to me.
Where you study
does not define you.
What is important
is your family
and the friends
you surround yourself with.
I am lying.
The most prestigious school
in the country has rejected you.
Your life is over.
I'm surprised
you can even look at me.
You see? She gets it.
I got you a tea
and a lemon bar.
Just the tea, thank you.
All right. Cookie?
Cake pop?
How many baked goods
do you have?
I just wanted to help
cheer you up.
Ugh. Failure does not deserve confectionary.
Failure?
Would I hug a failure?
Get in here.
You know, instead of thinking
about what didn't work out,
how about we focus on
what you got already.
If you say "supportive husband,"
I will smush your cake pop.
How about a job working
with your best friends,
the beautiful home
we've made together?
We would have made a new home
in Baltimore.
Mm. Detroit's where we met,
where our family lives.
Plus, what would
this bench do without us?
I suppose it would have been
hard to leave.
Especially now.
What do you mean?
Just everything's
really clicking here.
Life's good.
And it would not have been good
in Baltimore?
Bail. Bail right now.
I'm not saying that.
Then what are you saying?
Repeat after me:
"I was excited to go and
I'm sad that this happened."
It's just, the factory's
up and running.
I'm about to close the
biggest deal of my career.
Stop freaking talking, Bobby!
So you did not want to go?
Well, the timing wouldn't
have been great.
(sighs) Why didn't you tell me
how you felt?
'Cause I'm an idiot,
but I'm telling you now.
'Cause you're an idiot.
And if I did get in,
you would have been miserable?
Well, it would have been
worth it 'cause I love you.
But not enough for you
to be honest with me.
Good thing I did not
achieve my dreams,
so you can be happy.
Don't say it.
What?
You really cheered her up.
If we want to woo
a corporation like Hanes,
our marketing strategy needs to
be bigger, bolder, sexier.
While also kissing the butt
of our new cash cow.
Right. So when you buy
one pair of underwear,
you get a free pair
of MaxDot socks because...
We cover everything.
What's the point of any of this?
Okay, thank you
for your feedback.
Sorry, can we do this later?
Sure.
We can table our pursuit
of one of the largest apparel
companies in the country
until you're
in the right headspace.
Great idea.
Oh, that idea he likes.
(laughs):
Oh, I'm sorry.
Go ahead. No.
Ladies first.
(laughs):
No, I insist.
No, I insist.
I insist! Get out!
If those two
ain't bumping uglies,
they will be soon.
You won. Move on.
I really hurt Abishola.
The next time you feel like
unburdening your soul,
just drink.
The guilt would still be there.
Yeah, but you can't hear it
when it's drowning in booze.
(ice clinking)
(chuckles)
Abishola's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
If she's not happy,
I'll never be happy, either.
Oh, come on.
You don't believe that.
Yeah, I do.
Huh.
I really do.
E kaale, Mummy.
Are you starting dinner soon,
or do you plan on
letting Colonel Sanders
do your wifely duties?
Um, may I speak with you first?
Not now. I'm about to find out
which Disney princess I am.
Yes, Mummy.
Belle? (groans)
I, um...
I did not get into
Johns Hopkins.
Oh.
I failed you.
I-I am so sorry.
Sit.
I will photoshop a picture of me
in a white coat
for you to share
with your friends on WhatsApp.
Do you know why I spent
my entire life
pushing you to be
the undeniable best?
You wanted me to succeed.
Because I knew
you had greatness in you.
I knew it
from the moment you were born.
Really?
You did not bother crawling
before you walked.
You taught your older
brother to read.
You are strong, Abishola.
You have overcome things
I could never even imagine.
I am proud
of the woman you have become.
No acceptance letter
could ever change that.
Thank you, Mummy.
Besides, there is still hope
for the Ivy League.
Hmm.
I think it's too late for me,
at least this year.
I meant Dele.
Someone has to
take this family
to the next level.
I will let him know
he's our last hope.
Drill it into his little
dreadlocked head.
Yes, Mummy. Mm.
How you feeling?
I'm feeling blah.
I finally understand
why Americans say that.
I'm pretty blah, too.
Is that true or are you hiding
something else from me?
Okay, fine.
I ate all the baked goods
I got you earlier.
You know I'd never want you
to be unhappy.
Well, that's just it.
If there's a smile on your face,
then I'm golden.
But it does not make me happy
for you to do things
that only make me happy.
Sounds like one of us
needs to be more selfish.
Not it.
(phone chimes)
Not now, we're snuggling.
From Johns Hopkins.
Get off me and open it!
There's a link.
Okay. Click the link.
It's loading.
What takes longer?
A yes or a no?
There you go.
Hurry, prove you're
not a robot.
I am not a robot!
You missed a motorcycle.
Take, take, take, take.
Okay. (clears throat)
"We are pleased to inform you
that you have been accepted
to Johns Hopkins University
School of Medicine."
Oh, my God.
"You are clearly
the most qualified,
"capable, and
beautiful applicant
this school has ever seen."
That last part was me.
You did it!
I did it!
This is amazing!
I'm so proud of you!
Oh! But you do not want to go.
I really don't.
What are we going to do?
I have no idea.
But whatever happens,
we're gonna be fine.
You sure about that, champ?
Captioning sponsored by CBS
and TOYOTA.
Bob Hearts Abishola...
The last time
I saw you in the flesh,
you were sitting
in that chair.
Ah, the flesh.
I don't miss it.
So, what's the plan, son?
I don't know.
Thinking about
a vanilla shake.
That's exactly what I'd do.
Eat yourself sick?
Fill the hole.
You do it with food,
I did it with Scotch.
You also gambled.
Hey!
If I wanted to talk to my wife,
I would've visited my wife.
The point is,
you do what you have to do
so you can get back to work
the next day.
Call me if you need me.
I'll always need you, Dad.
All right.
What do you think?
Mm... Very dapper.
Bob Wheeler is wearing
last year's spring collection
because he couldn't
bring himself to pay full price
for a Hugo Boss suit.
(chuckles) You may want to
take off the tag.
Eh, leave it on.
I want potential
business partners to know
I hold out for the best price.
This factory is going
to change everything.
All over the world,
when people see a foot,
they will picture your face.
Why stop at feet?
I could do gloves.
It's really just
five tiny socks.
Mm-hmm.
My dear, you can cover any
extremity you set your mind to.
Paparazzi is gonna love us.
"Sock mogul
and surgeon wife."
Hmm. I prefer,
"Johns Hopkins educated surgeon
and sock husband."
I should be going. Okay.
Hey, call me
the second you hear from them.
I don't want to find out
you got into medical school
from your mom's Facebook.
Mummy has had it on Facebook
since I applied.
(door opens)
What's up, buttercup?
Dad? What the hell
are you doing here?
Well, you tell me.
What's got you circling
the cuckoo's nest this time?
I'm fine.
Why don't you go haunt
somebody else?
Hey now, that's offensive.
You see any chains here?
Did I say, "Ooh"?
I'm not a ghost.
As far as I can tell,
I'm some kind
of physical manifestation
of your subconscious,
here to help you externalize
your stresses and insecurities,
or... you did shrooms.
I didn't do shrooms.
I don't think.
Well, let's figure this out.
How's the old lady?
Marriage is great.
How's the really old lady?
Mom's good, too.
You were always
too much of a coward
to have any real addictions.
Huh. I guess nothing's wrong.
Exactly. I'll see you
the next time I go nuts.
I look forward to it.
You know something's wrong.
I know!
("Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing)
This camera thing's
looking at me funny.
Is it on?
Oh!
It's voice activated.
This is the future.
Kind of cool, huh?
(deep voice):
I am the great and powerful Bob.
When Abishola
starts med school,
I'm gonna be in Baltimore a lot.
We have to adapt.
Only Mr. Wheeler may adapt.
If anyone else wants to teleconference,
they must use
their paid time off.
BOB:
First things first,
I want to update you on
our negotiations with Hanes.
Everything looks g...
Bob, you froze up.
What do you think
was coming next?
I heard a "guh."
So, "good"?
Could be "great."
Or "grave."
What the hell?
This is a train wreck.
(banging)
Son of a bitch!
Somebody brought
their weekend mouth.
BOB:
There we go.
I showed Hanes
how much we could save them,
and now they're squirming
on our line like a giant tuna.
We will reel in
the son of a bitch. Kofo.
It is business talk.
You guys are really
moving up to the big leagues.
We're really moving up
to the big leagues!
(cheering)
Of course, they're gonna be
having all the fun.
You're gonna be
in Baltimore,
eating crab cakes
with your mother-in-law.
Future's looking bright,
huh, guys?
(crunching)
Mom, can you eat
something quieter?
The camera's following you.
That is a wonderful idea, Christina.
What is?
(crunch)
Kofo and I have
a whole mood board
if you'd like to see it.
I-I'm sorry, what was the idea?
(crunching)
Bob, if this is gonna work,
you got to pay attention.
I am paying attention!
Are you talking?
We can't hear you.
Can you see me talking?
This is friggin' painful.
We lost him.
Ugh, this is gonna be hell.
(laughing)
That's it.
What?
You don't want to go
to Baltimore.
(laughing)
You are screwed, buddy boy.
Excuse me, excuse me, move.
Whoa, too far, too far.
(panting)
Excuse me, excuse me.
Hey! No running
in my hall.
You would think
with all the sex I have,
I'd be in better shape.
(exhales)
My cousin Adeppo's daughter
just got her Johns Hopkins
acceptance email.
Oluwa mi o!
Now you see why I am glistening.
We need to remember
this moment.
There's nothing.
Oh. Well, still
a nice picture.
Give it to me.
It's probably
in your junk folder.
Oh, of course.
The junk folder, yes.
Yeah, yeah.
Do you have another junk folder?
Oh, no.
I-It's okay.
Maybe they're sending
the acceptance letters
in alphabetical order.
My last name is Adebambo.
Maybe they are going
youngest to oldest.
In that case,
you'd be very last.
Let's not sit and
stare at the screen.
A watched pot never boils.
Who says?
It's an expression.
Well, it's a stupid one.
I watch pots boil all day.
Refresh the email.
Refresh!
I'm gonna go check
on my patients.
Good idea.
Because a watched patient
never dies.
Refresh!
I am refreshing!
Do not shout.
I'm sorry! This is
very stressful for me!
This quaint row house is in
one of Baltimore's
most desirable neighborhoods.
Walking distance
from Johns Hopkins.
Keep looking
until you find something
that includes the words
"gaudy" or "extravagant."
I did not realize we'd be
house hunting already.
Uh, that's what I agreed to,
pack up and start over.
No turning back.
B-Town or bust.
I think people call it B'more.
Well, I couldn't
"B'more" excited.
Lying to your wife.
You get that from me.
Hey, check this one out.
Lot of room.
Beautiful kitchen.
Look at that fancy chandelier.
So ostentatious.
I love it.
Well, I think I need
a little time
to see about
the school situation.
Uh... For Dele.
I already picked
Eastern Technical.
It's the best school
in the Baltimore area.
It's tough to get into,
but who's gonna say no
to my grades and this face?
See? Everything's
gonna be great.
You are right.
Yeah, right.
Another Milano for
my little chocolate cookie?
(laughing):
Do not make me spill my tea.
(knocking)
Well, if you do,
I will sop you up.
(laughing)
Abishola!
E kaasan, Uncle. Auntie.
Did you get any mail for me?
There is a stack over there.
It is all junk.
Well, except for the birthday
card from her dentist.
What? If it comes
to Tunde's house,
Tunde is going to open it.
When I get him presents,
I have them delivered
to the neighbor.
Who also opens them.
It has to be here.
What are you looking for?
Oh, um...
my credit card bill.
Other people with
the same credit card company
have already been emailed
their statements.
Do you see that panic?
That is why we will
never go paperless.
E kaasan, Auntie.
Kaasan, Morenike.
You look nice.
I have an interview
at the new hospital across town.
The fancy one where
the mayor got his colonoscopy.
You must get this job.
It is the first step to you
becoming the best in your field.
Yes, Auntie.
Even if you do not,
you will be fine.
Well... no.
She would be an embarrassment.
Of course.
But because
something is the best,
does not mean
it's the only option.
Eh? Maybe God has other plans.
(laughter)
Very funny, Abishola.
A-As if anything less than
the best is acceptable.
(laughter)
Can you imagine?
To fail my family
and the community
and just say "whoopsie"?
(laughter)
This house has a nice big yard.
Perfect place
to put yourself out to pasture.
I'm still gonna be
taking care of things.
And if I put my office
in this unfinished basement,
and run the washer and dryer,
it'll feel like
I never left the factory.
You see the problem here?
I know that
you don't believe you.
Okay, fine.
Look, I just brought
manufacturing back to Detroit.
I deserve to stick around
and enjoy that ride.
Don't tell me, tell her.
Hey, honey.
I didn't think you wanted me
eating like that.
These are not for you.
Anybody else coming?
'Cause I'm pretty sure
that's the family feast.
Ooh, I'll take one.
These are my fries!
What is going on?
Nothing.
You're talking to a guy
who's eaten his way
through those bags
on more than one occasion.
What's up?
(sighs)
I never heard
from Johns Hopkins.
Which means I did not get in.
Aw, honey. Come here.
MAX:
Now you don't have to move!
And you didn't have
to be honest.
Go ahead, stroke her back.
Really sell it.
Okay.
Patient in 422
needs assistance.
How can we work
at a time like this?
My friend is a failure.
They should ask
to speak with a doctor,
which clearly I am not.
No, you are not.
You know, if our roles
were reversed,
you'd tell me to stop moping
and focus on work.
(sighs)
At least I give good advice.
I miss angry Abishola.
This pathetic one is a buzzkill.
Give her time,
she'll be all right.
She has never failed before.
We are in uncharted waters
of mediocrity.
We need to be supportive
and build her up.
That is going to be difficult
when I can barely
look her in the eye.
(chuckles):
Oh, hello!
The patient wanted
the TV remote,
which luckily
I am qualified for.
Yes, you are.
GLORIA:
Listen to me.
You are smarter
and more compassionate
than half the doctors
in this hospital.
They are the half that
did not go to Johns Hopkins.
I know things look bleak now,
but after the storm comes
a beautiful rainbow.
Right, Kemi?
Eh.
Kemi!
Abishola.
Listen to me.
Where you study
does not define you.
What is important
is your family
and the friends
you surround yourself with.
I am lying.
The most prestigious school
in the country has rejected you.
Your life is over.
I'm surprised
you can even look at me.
You see? She gets it.
I got you a tea
and a lemon bar.
Just the tea, thank you.
All right. Cookie?
Cake pop?
How many baked goods
do you have?
I just wanted to help
cheer you up.
Ugh. Failure does not deserve confectionary.
Failure?
Would I hug a failure?
Get in here.
You know, instead of thinking
about what didn't work out,
how about we focus on
what you got already.
If you say "supportive husband,"
I will smush your cake pop.
How about a job working
with your best friends,
the beautiful home
we've made together?
We would have made a new home
in Baltimore.
Mm. Detroit's where we met,
where our family lives.
Plus, what would
this bench do without us?
I suppose it would have been
hard to leave.
Especially now.
What do you mean?
Just everything's
really clicking here.
Life's good.
And it would not have been good
in Baltimore?
Bail. Bail right now.
I'm not saying that.
Then what are you saying?
Repeat after me:
"I was excited to go and
I'm sad that this happened."
It's just, the factory's
up and running.
I'm about to close the
biggest deal of my career.
Stop freaking talking, Bobby!
So you did not want to go?
Well, the timing wouldn't
have been great.
(sighs) Why didn't you tell me
how you felt?
'Cause I'm an idiot,
but I'm telling you now.
'Cause you're an idiot.
And if I did get in,
you would have been miserable?
Well, it would have been
worth it 'cause I love you.
But not enough for you
to be honest with me.
Good thing I did not
achieve my dreams,
so you can be happy.
Don't say it.
What?
You really cheered her up.
If we want to woo
a corporation like Hanes,
our marketing strategy needs to
be bigger, bolder, sexier.
While also kissing the butt
of our new cash cow.
Right. So when you buy
one pair of underwear,
you get a free pair
of MaxDot socks because...
We cover everything.
What's the point of any of this?
Okay, thank you
for your feedback.
Sorry, can we do this later?
Sure.
We can table our pursuit
of one of the largest apparel
companies in the country
until you're
in the right headspace.
Great idea.
Oh, that idea he likes.
(laughs):
Oh, I'm sorry.
Go ahead. No.
Ladies first.
(laughs):
No, I insist.
No, I insist.
I insist! Get out!
If those two
ain't bumping uglies,
they will be soon.
You won. Move on.
I really hurt Abishola.
The next time you feel like
unburdening your soul,
just drink.
The guilt would still be there.
Yeah, but you can't hear it
when it's drowning in booze.
(ice clinking)
(chuckles)
Abishola's the best thing
that ever happened to me.
If she's not happy,
I'll never be happy, either.
Oh, come on.
You don't believe that.
Yeah, I do.
Huh.
I really do.
E kaale, Mummy.
Are you starting dinner soon,
or do you plan on
letting Colonel Sanders
do your wifely duties?
Um, may I speak with you first?
Not now. I'm about to find out
which Disney princess I am.
Yes, Mummy.
Belle? (groans)
I, um...
I did not get into
Johns Hopkins.
Oh.
I failed you.
I-I am so sorry.
Sit.
I will photoshop a picture of me
in a white coat
for you to share
with your friends on WhatsApp.
Do you know why I spent
my entire life
pushing you to be
the undeniable best?
You wanted me to succeed.
Because I knew
you had greatness in you.
I knew it
from the moment you were born.
Really?
You did not bother crawling
before you walked.
You taught your older
brother to read.
You are strong, Abishola.
You have overcome things
I could never even imagine.
I am proud
of the woman you have become.
No acceptance letter
could ever change that.
Thank you, Mummy.
Besides, there is still hope
for the Ivy League.
Hmm.
I think it's too late for me,
at least this year.
I meant Dele.
Someone has to
take this family
to the next level.
I will let him know
he's our last hope.
Drill it into his little
dreadlocked head.
Yes, Mummy. Mm.
How you feeling?
I'm feeling blah.
I finally understand
why Americans say that.
I'm pretty blah, too.
Is that true or are you hiding
something else from me?
Okay, fine.
I ate all the baked goods
I got you earlier.
You know I'd never want you
to be unhappy.
Well, that's just it.
If there's a smile on your face,
then I'm golden.
But it does not make me happy
for you to do things
that only make me happy.
Sounds like one of us
needs to be more selfish.
Not it.
(phone chimes)
Not now, we're snuggling.
From Johns Hopkins.
Get off me and open it!
There's a link.
Okay. Click the link.
It's loading.
What takes longer?
A yes or a no?
There you go.
Hurry, prove you're
not a robot.
I am not a robot!
You missed a motorcycle.
Take, take, take, take.
Okay. (clears throat)
"We are pleased to inform you
that you have been accepted
to Johns Hopkins University
School of Medicine."
Oh, my God.
"You are clearly
the most qualified,
"capable, and
beautiful applicant
this school has ever seen."
That last part was me.
You did it!
I did it!
This is amazing!
I'm so proud of you!
Oh! But you do not want to go.
I really don't.
What are we going to do?
I have no idea.
But whatever happens,
we're gonna be fine.
You sure about that, champ?
Captioning sponsored by CBS
and TOYOTA.