Bob Hearts Abishola (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 5 - Greasy Badge of Honor - full transcript

Dele,

tell me about school.

How did you do
on your algebra test?

I got an A-plus,
same as my science quiz.

And did you do
your literature homework?

There was none.
I did a book report anyway.

My teacher was confused
but gave me an "A."

Good.

And how are all
your international classmates?

What have I always told you
about getting along

with kids
of different backgrounds?



Befriend them, surpass them

and make them wish
they were Nigerian.

Don't worry, Mum.

I'm doing fine.

Okay. How are you?

How did you do
on your MCAT practice test?

Ugh, I didn't have a chance
to take it yet.

I thought
you were doing it last week.

Yes, but work was very busy

and then Bob wanted to take me
to see a movie.

Uh-uh. A movie?

Yes. It was date night.

Mum, your studies
should always come before

dating and lollygagging.



Yes, Dele.

At this rate,

I'll become a doctor before you.

Yes, Dele. All right.

Let's go over
biochemical foundations.

Ugh, I forgot my textbook
at work.

Abishola Wheeler, what have
I always told you about...

Dele. We are done
with the teasing.

Yes, Mum.

"Ifanla" by Sola Akingbola
playing...

Knock-knock.

Hello.

Mind if we interrupt?

We have something
very special for you.

Okay.

You should stand.

We saw all the
beautiful traditions

that you had
at your wedding and...

we thought we'd include you
in one of ours.

Aw.

Gloves?

My grandmother, Rosemary
Gilbert, gave a pair of gloves

to each of her daughters
when they became women.

And they did the same

for their daughters.

I was afraid Christina was
gonna be the end of the line.

Thank God you came along.

Anyway, Great-Grandma Gilbert
would be so proud.

Oh, no, she'd hate it.

She was old-school.

You know, women shouldn't vote,

Black people aren't people...
That sort of thing.

Well, I'm glad

she's not here to see this.

She is, too, sweetie.

"Abdow"?

Oh, it's-it's
your initials.

Abishola Bolatito
Doyinsola Oluwatoyin

and now Wheeler.

My grandmother

wanted us always
to present ourselves well.

everybody knew

we were better than them.

Of course,
that's not how we feel now.

Eh.

Well, thank you very much.

I am so honored.

The honor is ours.

Oh. And along with
this presentation

comes another tradition.

Girls' day! Girls' day!

Yeah. Gonna get
our makeup

and hair done.
Do a little shopping,

go to the spa.

In my time, girls' day ended
with being paraded

in front of the menfolk
at the Cherry Pie Dance.

Ew.

Relax, it wasn't creepy.

You just had to sit on an old
man's lap and sing him a song.

Well, we're still gonna get
dolled up,

but we're doing it
for ourselves.

Because we are bad bitches.

I thought
we couldn't say that word.

No, we've reclaimed it.

Oh, great.

Abishola, grab your stuff.

Christina,
you're driving, bitch.

Mom, we got to talk context.

What are you doing?

Dropping things on my feet.

Because?

I am testing the steel toes
of my new boots.

Well, do not waste
company time.

Do they work?

So far. At lunch,

Jerry's going to lend me
his bowling ball.

That will be the real test.

Huh.

Hey, fellas.

Kofo,

- nice boots.
- Thank you.

I made a trip to
the outlet stores.

Where the discounts are crazy

and everything must go...!

Yeah. But it's
worse quality stuff.

Is that true?

Good point. I don't know.

Our company
should open an outlet store.

That is ridiculous.

It's not a bad idea.

Exactly!

All the best brands
do it. And since

MaxDot is
the very best brand,

we should do the same.

I like it. You think
you could work up a proposal?

Yes, Mr. Wheeler.

Great. Run with it.

I will run
with it like the wind,

Mr. Wheeler!

Wow.

Check out New Boots.

I do not know
what happened.

I had an idea,
I said it

and he liked it.

Way to go, man.

Better watch out, Goodwin.

Pretty soon, we'll all
be working for this guy.

Over my dead body.

Ooh.Ooh. Thank you.

This is
what I needed.

I speak English.

Oh. Well, and I speak
Vietnamese.

Look at us.

Couple of bilingual bi...

people.

- Other hand, please.
- Yep.

Uh, no, thank you.

I don't like to drink
during the day.

That's 'cause you're
not used to it.

You got to work it
like a muscle.

Yeah, Mom's liver
can run a marathon.

Uh...

Well, it's important
to exercise.

There you go.

You got to admit,
it's nice to get off your feet.

You are always off
your feet.

It's a figure
of speech.

We are women
in this world.

We've been on our feet
for 2,000 years.

She's right.

You agree with me?

Every once in a while,
you back into one.

I've been
raising kids

and running a business
since 1973.

And I've always said,

if you don't take
a little me time,

you'll snap
and murder your whole family.

I've never heard you say that.

I say it in here.

Need some help there, Flo-Jo?

What? Nice nails.

They're beautiful
but so impractical.

Yeah. Wait until you clean up
your first Code Brown.

I did not think about that.

Uh-huh. You're gonna get
a fill-in you didn't pay for.

- They are pretty, though.
- Yes, they are.

And I deserve to do
something for myself.

Don't we all?

Yes, but I deserve it more.

Is that right?

Yes. I work harder than any
other nurse on this floor.

I work on this floor, too.

I know.

All right, Freddy Krueger.

Mr. Wilson in 408 needs
a catheter inserted.

Good luck to you.

Even better luck to him.

Good morning, Mr. Wheeler.

Thank you for giving me
the opportunity

to present to you what I feel
is the future of our company.

Impressive.

What are you doing here?

Watching my cousin betray me.

Also, I brought you stew.

Thank you. So,

how long have you been
planning to take my job?

That's not my intention.

And yet here you are,

practicing
the very words

that will shove me
right off Sock Mountain.

My success does not have to
be at the expense of yours.

Perhaps we can
work together.

Like the Property Brothers.

Let's renovate our relationship.

You actually believe
that's possible?

I do. I would never do anything
to undermine you, cousin.

You have done so much for me.

Well, then perhaps you can
do something for me.Anything.

Cancel your presentation.

Not that thing.

Mm.

You have come a long way, Kofo.

It is unfortunate that this is
where your journey will end.

Badly.

- We shall see.
- Mm-hmm.

Thank you
for the stew, cousin.

You're welcome.

Mmm.

Delicious.

What is that spice?

Laxatives.

Hey, girl...!

Hello, girl.

Oh.

Yesterday was so much fun.

- It was.
- You know,

we should do it again.

Without Mom. Right?

Or whatever you prefer.

But I would prefer
without Mom.

Christina, I'm trying to study.

Oh. Sorry.

Yeah, you study.

I'll just do my thang.

What is that?

Oh, it's just a fun way
to say "thing."

Oh.

Okay.

Do your thang.

Boy, them bubbles are loud.

That was me.

It's an article
on women in medicine.

I-It's right up your alley.

Thank you.
I'll read it later.

Me again. Sorry.

It's a
gluten-free

cinnamon roll.Oh. A recipe?

Just a picture.

Ah.

It does look good.

I did not
eat breakfast.

Well, no wonder you can't focus.

I know a great brunch spot.

I should really study.

But it's brunch.

That's breakfast and lunch.

It's two meals in one.

You're actually saving time.

Okay. Maybe a little break,
just to eat.

Yes. Exactly.

Just a little break.

And, you know,

maybe, afterwards,

we can recharge
with a little shopping.

No.

No little shopping.

Got it.

No shopping.

Just brunch.

♪ I'm talking pedicure
on our toes, toes ♪

♪ Trying on all our clothes,
clothes ♪

♪ Boys blowing up our phones,
phones ♪

♪ Drop-toppin',
playing our favorite CDs ♪

♪ Pulling up to the parties

♪ Trying to get
a little bit tipsy ♪

♪ Don't stop, make it pop

♪ DJ, blow my speakers up It's just brunch.

♪ Tonight, I'm-a fight

♪ Till we see the sunlight

♪ Ticktock on the clock

♪ But the party don't stop, no

♪ Oh, whoa, whoa, oh

♪ Oh, whoa, whoa, oh:
It's just brunch.

♪ Don't stop, make it pop

♪ DJ, blow my speakers up

♪ Tonight, I'm-a fight.

Just brunch!

You should not
have allowed me

to drink like that.

- Honey, I wasn't there.
- Please, do not argue with me.

- I'm not...
- Okay.

Here, drink this
down. It'll help.

- What is it?
- You don't want to know.

And don't smell it, either.

Just choke the rest of that
down and then sleep it off.

I cannot sleep it off.
I have work to do.

I was supposed to take
another practice test.

What am I going to tell Dele?

Tell him you're a human
being that makes mistakes.

I will never tell him that.

I should've seen this coming.

What?
That I would become a wino?

You're not a wino.

You're just stressed.

You left Dele in Nigeria,

we got married, you moved in,

you're studying to be a doctor.

That's a lot on
someone's plate.

It was only a matter
of time before you...

That's exactly what my head
feels like.

I'm never going to drink again.

Aw, come on.

At least cut loose
once a year,

just so I can
take care of you.

Nurse Bob.

Oh, no, I smelt it. Stay here!

I'll get the trash can.

Thank you
for the ride, Douglas.

No problem.

Flat tires suck.

Lucky I was driving
by your place. It is.

Do you mind if we stop by
a doughnut shop?

They are for the meeting
with Mr. Wheeler.

Trying to get in good
with the boss. Smart.

Oh, no.

They are for torpedoing
my cousin.

No matter what Kofo says
in his presentation,

all Mr. Wheeler
will be thinking

is when can he have
a Boston cream.

His favorite.

Yes!

At a certain point,

I will slide the box over
to Mr. Wheeler.

As we leave, he will say,

"Great job, Goodwin"

and pat me
on the shoulder,

leaving a greasy badge
of honor.

You got it all figured out.

Kofo may have good ideas,

but challenging me
was not one of them.

If Kofo wanted to beat you,

he'd have to plan
three steps ahead.

Impossible.

He cannot even plan
his next meal.

Yeah, to get one
over on you,

he'd have to...
wake up early,

let air out of your tire,

recruit someone to drive you
out to the middle of nowhere.

Someone who's spent a lifetime

in the shadow
of an older relative.

Douglas.

This is not the way
to doughnuts.

No, Goodwin.

No, it is not.

Hey. Is Goodwin
gonna join us?

He had car trouble.

Did he call you?

No.

But I know he had car trouble.

Perhaps we
should just start.

I know you are a very busy man.

Ooh, Boston cream.

Uh-uh.

I've missed this.

What, the cold, hard seats?

Or the smell of B.O.
and egg salad?

I'm talking about riding
the bus with you.

I've missed it, too.

These days, I have
to talk to myself.

Which is good, because it stops
people from sitting next to me.

I think I'm going
to do this more often.

You know? Get back
to simpler times.

What does that mean?

You know,
the way things were.

No fancy nails, no mimosas.

Just people working and striving
to make their lives better,

day in and day out.

Why are you talking
like a senator?

I'm reconnecting.

With your simple friend.

Kemi.

Oh, I understand.

You want to come visit me,

like a living museum
of your past.

"Oh, back when Kemi
and I were friends,

milk was ten
cents a gallon."

You are being ridiculous.

We poor people often are.

Maybe we should stop
talking. Maybe we should.

I really missed
these fights.

Me, too.

Look, Tunde,
the future doctor

- has made a house call.
- Ah.

My beautiful niece.

- Uncle, it's so good to see you.
- Mm.

- E kaale, Auntie.
- Ah.

Kaale, Morenike.

- The food smells delicious.
- Thank you.

Since your cousin
has moved in,

we have been eating like kings.

Thank you, Uncle.

But when you lived here,

we also enjoyed your cooking.

Yes.

But now we eat like kings.

- May I help with the royal feast?
- Oh, no.

You are a guest.

And we do not want you
to ruin those beautiful nails.

Oh. It's okay. I was going
to trim them tomorrow anyway.

Ah. Let me help
with that. Not the paper towels!

What?

I was told
we do not waste paper towels

for every little spill.

That is why God made
leftover Wendy's napkins.

Oh. I-I'm sorry. I forgot.

Of course you did.

You are a fancy lady now.

Pay attention,
Morenike.

If you follow
in Abishola's footsteps,

one day,
you will be just as wasteful.

I certainly hope so.

I will buy you another
roll.

Throwing money
at the problem.

We are so proud
of the person you have become.

Uh...

what is this extra charge
on your debit card?

Oh, uh, I had to buy a snack
at school.

I skipped breakfast.

Never skip breakfast.

- Yes, Mum.
- Skipping breakfast

can only lead to one thing:

brunch.

Doesn't that save time?

Breakfast and lunch together?

That is what they
want you to think.

Next thing you know,
you are in Bloomingdale's

buying an expensive coat that
does not even keep you warm!

Is that what you want
for your life?

- No?
- No!

It is not.

Stay focused, Dele.

Do not lose track
of what is important.

Okay, Mum.

So, do you want to study?

Oh. I would, but I have
a previous engagement.

Didn't you
hear me honking?

It's mimosa time, bitch!

What did she say?

Nothing. Remember, no brunch.

No brunch? Ah.

For the boy.
He cannot handle it.

Let's go.

Mm-hmm.