Bob Hearts Abishola (2019–…): Season 3, Episode 19 - Who Raised You - full transcript

Previously on Bob
Hearts Abishola...

Sorry, it should work.

I put money on it yesterday.

Don't worry about
it. I have cash.

Relax. It's on me.

Olivia.Douglas.

Maybe it's time we
go on a real date.

You mean off the bus?

I do.

I'd like that. So would I.

Then we should. Why don't we?



I'm pretty sure we are.

BOB: Hey, Mom.
CHRISTINA: There she is.

Mommy.

What do you want?

Well, first of all,
let me just say

we love you very much.

Uh-huh.

And in the spirit of
that love, we have

something very important we
need to talk to you about.

So this is how it happens, huh?

How what happens?

If I'm going to a nursing home,

I'm taking your
kneecaps with me.

That's not what this is about.



You taking my booze?

No.

Well, then, what can I
do for you, sweethearts?

[chuckles]

My girlfriend...

The Mexican? Yes,

she happens to be Mexican

wants to meet my family.

Oh, that's great.

I've been looking forward to
meeting your little señorita.

Okay, I'm gonna stop
you right there. What?

Just call her Olivia.

Not "the Mexican,"
not "señorita."

So I take the time to
speak her language,

and this is the gracias I get?

Okay, this is a list
of all the things

I am begging you
not to do or say.

"Don't compliment her English
or marvel at her olive skin."

Is this that "woke" crap?

No, it's common courtesy crap.

But it is crap? No.

Okay, there is no need for you

to point out your
differences with people.

Then what the hell are
we gonna talk about?

DOUGLAS: Good instinct.

Maybe don't talk at all.

Of course not. A little bit.

This girl is really
important to Douglas,

and we just want to
make a good impression.

Speaking of which.

"Olivia is not your friend
or your soul sister.

You do not get her struggle."

You don't know that.

I do, so don"t.

Guys, this is not
hard. We can be on

our best behavior for one night.

Oh, come on.

["I fan la" by Sola
Akingbola playing]

♪

It's a Nigerian name.
A little tricky.

Repeat after me:

A-bi-sho-la.

Abishola.

First try. Good for you.

I kept calling her "Assi-Hola."

I know.

How did she meet Bob?

Oh, that's a good story.

He had a heart attack and
she was his cardiac nurse.

Ah, cute. So they fell
in love in the hospital?

No. There was a little stalking.

But it was cute.

So, my mom had a
stroke. She's fine.

Abishola took care of her
while dating my brother

at the same time.
You're making this up.

I know. It's ridiculous.

Now my mom lives with them.

Then, after they got married,
Her mom moved in, too.

Abishola's mom? Yeah.

We call her Mama Ebun.

That name I nailed right away.

So that's everybody?

Well, there's also
Dele, Abishola's son

from her first marriage to Tayo.

And Olu and Tunde
might be there, too.

Olu and Tunde?

Abishola's aunt and uncle.
Do they live with them?

Not yet.

Hey, everybody.

ALL: Hey!

Hello.

Hi, I'm Bob, Douglas' brother.

It's nice to finally meet you.

And you must be Abishola. I am.

You have a lovely
smile. Thank you.

Douglas said to smile more

because my resting
face is a bitch.

That's not exactly what I said.
All right, out of the way.

I want to meet the gal

who stole my little boy's heart.

This is my mom.

Hello, Mrs. Wheeler.Hi.

I've been instructed not
to say anything else.

Olivia, I am Abishola's mother.

Welcome to my home.

Brought some wine.

Wow. And it's not half empty.

Good for you. Hi.

I'm Christina, his twin sister.

Hi. I love those earrings.

Oh, gosh. Thank you.

Uh, you know what, I got
them at this wonderful

woman-owned boutique.

We could maybe get some lunch

and do a little shopping.

Or not.

I am Tunde.

This is my wife Olu.

We looked at all
your Instagram posts,

and you are hashtag lovely.

[chuckles] Hashtag thank you.

Hi, I'm Dele, Abishola's son.

Oh, you're the one
that wants to become

a choreographer,
but I hear it's not

one of the approved options.

That's me.

Mmm. This is wonderful.

I've never had
Nigerian food before.

Thank you. I'm glad you like it.

Usually, the jollof
has more flavor.

I did what I could with
Abishola's barren spice cabinet.

Olivia's been teaching
me how to cook.

All I knew how to make
was grilled cheese.

Your smoke alarm says you
can't make that either.

[laughter]

Hey, I taught you a few
things in the kitchen.

Yeah, how to yell at the maid.

[laughter]

I believe it is our job
as women to help bring out

the best in our men.

You mean housebreak them?

Oh, like a stray dog. Woof!

[laughter]

Bob used to floss at
the table after meals.

Mm.Oh.

And now I do it over the
trash, like a gentleman.

Yes, men are rough
around the edges

until we find the right
woman who can sand us down.

Well, I'm gonna be
sanding for a while.

[laughter]

Did you know that he
only has paper plates

that he wipes off and reuses?

I really am useless.

He didn't even own a vacuum.

I thought he had rats,

but they were just
massive dust bunnies.

I'm disgusting.

I mean, seriously,
who raised you?

I did, señorita!

Have some more wine, Mom.

Okay, everything looks
good, Mrs. Johnson.

We recommend you
rest for the evening,

and we will reevaluate
in the morning.

Uh-uh. I want to leave now.

And I wanted you
to leave yesterday.

Excuse me?

What she means is although
your procedure was minor,

it's always better
to exercise caution.

I know my body.

I know it, too. You never
close your damn robe.

I want to speak to
your supervisor.

You are speaking to her, and I
say keep your ass in that bed.

I'm sorry. She should never
have said those things to you.

Even if everything
she said was correct.

What are you doing? My job.

You cannot speak to the
patients like that.[sighs]

I know. Sorry. It's just

some stuff going on at home.

Oh. That makes sense.

Okay.

Are you not even gonna ask?

Ask what?

I just told you something's
going on at home.

Yes, and you seem
quite upset about it.

I don"t want to pry.

But I want you to pry.

Where are you going?

Get in your damn room.

It was so nice to meet
Douglas' girlfriend.

She's lovely.

Uh-huh.

And so funny.

Yeah, a real chuckle head.

You did not like her?

She didn't like
me. You heard her.

"I had to teach
Douglas how to cook.

I had to teach
him how to clean."

Who do you think that
looks bad on? You.

Exactly.

You are right to
be upset, Dottie.

This girl needs to know that

a boy's mother
comes first, always.

So I'm not crazy. Not at all.

Just bear in mind who is
telling you you're not crazy.

What does that mean?

That means I drank some
schnapps before I came here

and thought I was
saying that in my head.

What was that?

My retirement calendar.

Why?

Don't worry about it.Okay.

Unbelievable.

What is new in the ICU?

Gloria threw out her
retirement calendar.

Because she's not retiring?

I don't know. I don't think

she wants to talk about it.

Yes, I want to talk about it.

I can't retire because

my idiot husband blew
our whole nest egg.

Oh, no.

Was it drugs?
Gambling. Prostitutes?

He spent it on our kids.

Mm, that is boring.

My son needed money
for a vegan food truck.

In Detroit? Why
would he do that?

Yes, that's a terrible
investment. I know.

Then he just had to
pay for my daughter's

dream wedding in Hawaii.

And now he's paying the
legal bills for her divorce.

Oh, no.

Was it drugs?
Gambling. Prostitutes?

No, they just fell out of love.

That is still boring.

What should your
husband have done?

We are supposed to
support our children.

We were supposed to buy an RV

and travel around the country.

Your retirement plan

was to live in a van?

Not a van, an RV.

With a bed, a
kitchen, a bathroom.

You drive your bathroom
around with you?

Like a port a potty on wheels.

If she brakes too hard, she
will slosh doo-doo water

right into her kitchen.

Just forget it.

Oh...

She seems really upset.

She's so lucky to have good
friends like us to talk to.

Mrs. Wheeler?

Oh, hello. What a coincidence.

I didn't figure
you as a bus rider.

Oh, sure. I'm all about
public transportation.

I like to get in close where
you can smell the people.

Where are you headed?
Nowhere in particular.

I just enjoy seeing Detroit

on a rainy, dreary day.

Okay.

Look at you, driving
this big beast.

She handles pretty well.

I'm impressed.

I'd be mowing down
pedestrians left and right.

There wouldn't be one
skateboarder left in Detroit.

I got to tell you,

I've never seen Douglas happier.

And that's all 'cause
of you. I'm glad.

So that's how you feel,
that it's all 'cause of you?

Excuse me?

Never mind. Focus
on your driving.

You know he's my baby, right?

Isn't he a twin?

Yes, but he was born last.

He loved me so much
the doctors had to

pull him out of my hoo-ha
kicking and screaming.

You draw quite the picture.

I just want you to know
what you're getting into.

He's a good man,

but he's also a mama's boy.

For now.

Forever.

[knocking]

You wanted to see us?

Yeah. Sit down.

I want to talk to
you about something.

So, what is up?

We got any Mexicans
working in the warehouse?

I believe Hector
is Mexican. Why?

Well, remember when Bob
started dating Abishola,

and I came to you guys about
advice on Nigerian stuff?

Yes. That was the first
time you ever spoke to us.

Yeah, well, I need to do
the same sort of thing,

except, you know, Mexican.

What is wrong with you?

You're gonna have
to be more specific.

What were you thinking
getting on her bus?

That I love my son.

She's very upset.
I'm sorry, sweetie.

Give me her number and
I'll call and apologize.

No.

You're right. A call
is too impersonal.

I got her bus schedule.

Stay away from her!

Do you still want
to talk to Hector?

Where's the mean nurse?

I'm right here.

No, the little one.

She get fired?

If you mean Nurse Gloria,

she's taking a personal day.

She's dealing with
some things at home.

Her husband leaving
her? Hope so.

You know nothing about her.

Gloria is the
hardest-working nurse here.

And usually very kind.

If you say so. I do say so.

She's my friend.

Then you need to
find better friends.

And you need to stop whining

and keep your ass in this bed.

I take it back.
You're the mean one.

I already told you that.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Hey, listen, can I circle
back with you on Monday?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Listen, I got to go.
Something's up with my mother.

Oh, God, what did she
do? Mom's trying to

get between me and Olivia and I
have to find a way to stop her.

Douglas, first of all,
violence is never the answer.

I didn't think it was.

Oh, yeah, sorry,

It's just where my
mind goes. [snorts]

Wait, why are you coming to
me for relationship advice?

You know I'm a mess.

I can't go to Bob.

He's only had two girlfriends and
he married both of them. Well,

whereas I've had 22 boyfriends

and Mom scared them all away.

It wasn't all Mom.

Do you want my help or not?

Sorry.

What do I do? What did you do?

I gave up on men and got a cat.

I hate cats. Come on.

You must have learned something.

Fine.

The mistake I made was
wanting Mom's approval.

I do the same thing.
See? And you're never

gonna get it, because she
can find a flaw in anybody.

"Why are you dating him?
He's too old. He's too short.

He just got out of prison for
involuntary manslaughter."

You can't win.

Yeah, but how do I fix this?

Douglas,

if you love this girl,
you have to fight for her.

If I would have done that,

Robert wouldn't
have killed again

because he would have
had love in his life.

Wait, the second time
wasn't involuntary?

No.

And that's on Mom.

Hello.

What are y'all doing here?

Frank let us in. Who?

Your husband. My
husband's name is Lester.

Well, he obviously
doesn't know his name

because he didn't correct
me when I called him Frank.

I made you a pie.

Why?

I was told in America, when
someone dies, you bring food.

And your dream died,
so it seemed like

the Christian thing to do.

Thank you.

We are ready to listen,
and we will not judge.

Well, we will judge,

but we'll keep it to ourselves.

I might have been overreacting.

Yes, but your
feelings are valid.

My what are what now?

Something Bob always says.

I do not understand
it, but it sounds nice.

I just feel like I've
been running a marathon.

And now, suddenly, I'm
almost done with the race,

and the finish line
keeps getting pushed back

further and further.

Hmm.

Do you have whipped
cream for the pie?

No.

Mm.

I always thought as soon
as my kids are grown

and out, then I'll start
living my life for me.

Mm.

Maybe ice cream? A la mode?

Sorry.

Don-Don't get me
wrong. I love my kids.

But it's been 30 years
and I'm still here,

living my life for
everybody else.

You might be here now, but
you will not be here forever.

Mm. Soon you will drive
that portable toilet

all across America.

I just hope I'm still
healthy enough to enjoy it.

It's good you have a dream.

[scoffs]: You got dreams,
too. You gonna be a doctor.

One day.

That's the very stuff
dreams are made of, honey.

One day.

Mm.I would like to start
a catering business.

Good for you.

One day. Yeah, now
you're getting it.

Can I tell you something without
you getting angry with me?

Of course.

I'm sorry that you
have to keep working.

But I would miss you
terribly if you left.

Why would that make me angry?

It's selfish.

I love it.

Frank, can you run out and
get us some Haäagen-Dazs?

DOUGLAS: And I just
want you to know

I'm my own man.

My mother does not run my life

anymore.

Does she know that?

What do you mean?

Hey, guys. ¿Que pasa?

What are you doing?

I love you and I don't
want to get a cat.

Open the door!

Did you just say you love me?

I did, because I
do. I r-really do.

And I know it's kind of fast,

but I've never met
anyone like you.

I know you can hear me.

I love you, too.

You got to let me
on. I pay my taxes!

Drive. You sure?

Floor it.

Douglas!

Douglas!

You'll pay for this!

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