Bob Hearts Abishola (2019–…): Season 2, Episode 5 - Sleeping Next to an Old Boat - full transcript

Dele, if you are still here,
you are late o!

Mum, I need you to sign this.

Is it your report card?

Yes.

Olu, gather round!

The boy has broughthis grades!

Why are you just
showing this to me now?

I forgot. You just sign...

98.

98...

Ah-ah... 91 in math.



No, surely that one is a seven.

It is 91.

That's still an "A."

How would you know? You got a 91 in math.

There was a particularly

difficult pop quiz
on inverse fractions.

Then you should have studied.

I didn't know
the quiz was coming.

That's why they use
the word "pop."

Oh, so you have
all the answers now.

Where were they
when the quiz popped?

Good morning.

It was.

I'll get my things.



Show him
the shameful report card.

Aw, I've been there, man.

Wait a minute, no, I haven't.

These are all As.

I made the same mistake.

That seven is a one.

Well, not for nothing, but a 91

still got me five bucks
from my mom.

Well, that was the rule...
Five bucks an "A."

Why would she pay youfor something

that already benefits you?

Did she reward you

for brushing your teeth, too?

Sometimes.

If this is what you're like

when he gets an "A," what are
you gonna do if he gets a "B"?

It only happened once.

I had pneumonia.

Walking pneumonia.

Thank you for the ride.

I'm happy to do it.

Hey, what do you think
about Dele and me

spending some time together?

Why? I'm gonna be his stepdad.

We should be buddies.

You should havebuddies your own age.

I do. I mean, I did.

I work a lot.

I just think Dele and
I should have a bond.

The bond will be whenyou
tell him to do something,

he will obey you.
So I'm just gonna order
him to be my buddy?

There will be no buddying. I just want

to spend some time with the kid.

What if I put him to work?

Work is good, but he has to work.

None of this five dollarsfor nothing.

Fine, I won'teven give him water

if you don't want me to.

What? What is wrong with you?

No, I was just...
What if he gets thirsty?

He can have a waterbreak whenever he wants.

Whenever he wants?

Just tell me the right
thingto say and I will say it.

Thank you, Doctor.

Could I ask youa question?

If my husband was
dead, absolutely.

What? Huh?

Did you reward your
childrenfor good grades?

Sure did... let 'em live in
my house till they were 18.

Bob said his mother paid
himwhen he did well in school.

I thought maybe it wasan American thing.

It's a white thing.

First they pay the kid.

Then they pay the tutor.

And if the kid's still an idiot,
they just pay the school.

I always worked hardin my studies.

For me, it wasa matter of pride.

And because if you didn't,
you'd get smacked.

Sometimes beatingis the only way

to really communicatewith a child.

Girl, you can't say
stuff like that.

I thought we feltthe same way.

We do... we just can't feel
the same way out loud.

In Nigeria, when a child misbehaves,

everybody's allowed...

to communicate with them.

Friends, family, perfect strangers.

That's why Dele's
the most respectful

young man I've ever met.

Mm-hmm, I trained him well.

All I have to do is
give him a look.

I've seen that look.

Ooh, not that one.

Damn!

There we go.

It's kind of heavy.

Yeah. Are you thirsty?

We could take a break,
have a soda.

Uh, no, I'm fine.

Come on, you gonna
make me drink alone?

Thank you.

So, how's school?

You were there, Bob.

Have I not been shamed enough?

I'm not talking
about your grades,

which were great, by the way.

I'm talking about the other
stuff. You got any friends?

Who's asking?

I am.

Who are you telling?

Nobody.

Then, yes. I have friends.

Ooh, I'm gonna have
to tell your mom.

What?! I'm just kidding.

That's what buddies do...
They kid around.

But you're not my buddy.

You're my elder.

Right, about all that, listen.

If you have any questions,

maybe questions you feel
like you can't talk

to your mom about, I'm your guy.

Thank you, Bob.

I do have one question.

Shoot.

Are you a hoarder?

What do you mean?

You have a lot of things.

Old things, new things,
never-opened things.

I'm not a hoarder.

I don't think.

Don't you ever

just buy something because
it makes you feel better?

Like medicine?

Well, kind of.

Retail therapy, you know?

No, I don't know.

Yeah, I guess you wouldn't.

You can't just walk up to your
mom and go, "Let's get an Xbox."

I don't even think she'd
let me do that.

She definitely wouldn't.

Yeah, you're right.

You've been busting
your ass today.

Anything you see in here
that you're interested in,

it's yours.

I can't do that.

Come on, I'm just gonna
throw this stuff out.

You're gonna throw away
this record player?

Lot of old records, too.

You like Bob Seger?

Who?

"Night Moves"?

"Old Time Rock and Roll"?

"Ramblin' Gamblin' Man"?

Is this a riddle?

All right, now I'm really
worried about your education.

That's it, you're
taking all this stuff.

I can't do that.

Yes, you can. I'm your elder.

And I insist.

Then I have no choice.

And I insist you drink
that Coke.

Yes, Mr. Wheeler.

And kick back, take
a pause for the cause.

Sit!

You know, those hoarders
have a lot of cats.

I don't have any cats.

The robot is fantastic.

We should have gotten one
of these years ago.

I assumed it wouldn't

do a proper job.

Forgive my foolishness,
little friend.

Quiet, efficient, and
it will never get tired.

It's like a little
mechanical immigrant.

Karo,Auntie, Uncle.

Karo.

Ah!

You bought one of these
robot vacuum cleaners?

We would never be stupid
enough to waste money

on something like this. It's Bob's.

He gave it to Dele.

And why would Dele come back...

Ah, ah, ah, ah, go away!
We are busy cleaning.

This robot is very impressive.

Ooh, and-and look
at the path it leaves.

You can tell where it has been

and where the floor
is still dirty.

I washed the floors yesterday.

The robot seems to disagree.

Look, he's off to check how
well you cleaned the kitchen.

It's like your mother
has come to visit.

Uh, Grand Funk Railroad.

Bob is my elder
and insisted that I take it.

He assures me it is
very good for my education.

And all of this?

Oh, uh, it will also help.
With the second monitor,

I can study
two subjects simultaneously.

I see.

I want to rectify
my unacceptable math grade

and restore our family honor.

Bob gave you all of this?

He was throwing it all away.

And my wise mother

taught me never to be wasteful.

I also brought you a gift.

Ah, I don't want
this ridiculous thing.

Pull on the ends.

Oh.

I don't like this.

It's also heated.

Oh!

That is even worse.

Tunde, do you hear that?

Tunde!

Like sleeping next
to an old boat.

You have done a wonderful job,
little robot.

Perhaps I don't keep this house
as spotless as I used to.

Maybe I can no longer
scrub on my hands and knees,

and rely too much

on my "As Seen on TV" Magic Mop.

That's not my fault.

That's where Tunde
eats his toast.

Olu?

Let's let her sleep.

Her battery does not last
as long as yours.

Oh, my God.

Can you move your bag?

Are you elderly or pregnant? No.

Well, I am both. Move along.

Abishola. E karo.

E karo,Kemi.

What are you doing here?

I'm going to work.

Did something happen
to Bob's Cadillac?

What are you talking about?

You haven't taken the
bus for three weeks,

and now you're here;
I assumed the worst.

Bob is fine. And the Cadillac?

It is fine.
Bob just had an early meeting.

Oh, so now you are back among...

...the bus people.

Kemi...

Don't act like you don't
know what I'm talking about.

Look at them.

We are bus people.

No, I am a person
who rides the bus.

Big difference.

And you escaped this life
when you got off at

Rich Fiancé Boulevard.

That is not what happened. Of course it is.

And I've never been
more proud of you.

Every day as I ride alone,
I am comforted knowing that

my friend's backside
is being caressed

by the soft, imported leather
of Bob's Cadillac.

You must leave here
and never come back,

unless it's to take me with you.

I will ride in the trunk.
Please, just save me

from these people.

You are a curious little robot.
Curious for crumbs.

What is wrong?

I'm old and useless.

You are not so useless.

And we are both old.

It's wonderful.
We get discounts everywhere.

I'm sorry I'm not the
woman you married.

Nonsense.

You are as beautiful
as the day I met you.

That is true.

But I cannot maintain the
household the way I used to.

That's why we have the robot.

How long until
a robot replaces me

in other parts of the house?

Wh-What other parts? This bed.

Is that possible?

You see? You are curious.

No...

You will never be replaced.

You will always be
my little Olu.

And you my big Tunde.

Ah! Not in front of the robot.

Go. Shoo. Get out!

I ate crackers
in the living room.

I'm sorry, Annie...

Well, after you guys are
done with your drinks,

would you like to order
some appetizers?

No, thanks.
We filled up on chips.

Oh, hey, did you have
some underage kid

doing work for you
in the garage?

That's not some kid,
that's Dele.

Oh, right. Who's Dele?

Abishola's son.

Right. Your new stepson.Yep.

Raising a kid is
a big responsibility.

Are you sure you're
up for it? Yeah, of course.

When Dad died,
I practically raised you two.

I don't think you want to
use us as references.

I mean, I hide it pretty well,
but I've got some

emotional issues.

And I don't even
hide my problems.

Hey.

My son does not need any
of your garbage.

Be thankful. He gave him
garbage instead of baggage.

Go.

Fine. The service here
sucks anyway.

What's going on?

You see those two?
That is what happens

when you grow up spoiled.

No, that is what happens
when your mother drinks.

I cannot have my son
around that.

I cannot have him around this.

What are you talking about?

Whatever you want, you just buy.

You do not work for it.

Hey, everything I have,
I got through hard work.

Bob.
What? You know
I run a company, right?

A family company that
was handed to you.

Oh, okay. So that automatically
means I don't work hard.

Dele needs to know this is
not how the real world is.

Nothing is going to
be handed to him.

He was not born on easy street.

Like me.Exactly.

Wow. Okay, well, it's good
to know what you really think.

Thanks for stopping by.

For the record,

I would never question
your work ethic.

How could you? I've worked
for everything I have.

Ah, great, just back the car up

and run me over one more time. I do not

have a car.

I'm a bus person.

Push, Mrs. Wheeler. I am. It's too heavy.

You are doing it. Are you watching
the same show I am?

It's not moving.

I need a break.

Fine.

I heard you and Bob fighting,
you know.

Sounded like a doozy.

It was quite an ija.

What does that mean?

Doozy.

You think he's soft, don't you?

Only because he has never
had to be anything else.

Abishola, I love you,

but you don't know what the hell
you're talking about.

He cries when the plane flies
over the football field

before the game starts.

So he's sensitive.

That doesn't mean he's weak.

You didn't see him
after his father's funeral,

when he told me
he was leaving college

so we wouldn't have
to shut down the company.

A 20-year-old kid learning
the business on the fly.

He's the one that kept
this family afloat.

I did not know.

Well, now you do.

And don't you ever forget it.

Perhaps I underestimated
your children.

No, no, no, just Bob.

The other two are
as worthless as my left arm.

Aw, give me the damn weight.

Um, can we talk
for a moment, please?

I'm a little busy.
I'm halfway through

my "never going camping"
section.

At least let me help you.Uh-uh.

I don't need anything
handed to me.

Why have I never heard the story
of what you did for your family?

What are you talking about?

How there would be no company
if it were not for you.

I don't know
if I'd put it that way.

That's the way
your mother put it.

Really?

Was she drinking brandy?
Brandy makes her nice.

If I knew that story,
I would never have said

those things about you.

Oh, I see.

So it's my fault
for not telling you.

No.

It's no one's fault.

But if there were blame
to be placed...
Okay.

I'm glad to have you
in my life and Dele's.

I regret saying anything
that made you feel differently.

So...

you're sorry.

Again, if you had just given me
all the information... Oh, my God.

Is this what our life
is gonna be like?

Yes.

I can live with that.

Okay, my friend,
I am sorry to say

this is where we part.

While you have brightened
my life and my floors,

you have tracked muddy
footprints all over my marriage.

Good luck.

It is a dirty world out there.

Don't look back.

Just go.