Bob Hearts Abishola (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 9 - We Were Beggars, Now We Are Choosers - full transcript

Previously on
Bob Hearts Abishola...

Let me introduce
my oldest son Chukwuemeka.

You can call me Chuey.

You can call him Chukwuemeka.

I want you to know,
if this works out,

I will allow you
to keep your job.

Thank you.

As long as dinner is on
the table when I come home,

there's no problem.

[laughs]

Oh, I think there is a problem.



Yes, Auntie, I know,
he's very polite...

and successful...

- Bob?
- ...and young and handsome.

Not Bob.

Okay, Auntie, I must go.
I am in the middle of surgery.

Okay. Okay.

Auntie, my patient
is close to death.

Okay.

And goodbye.

Ugh. I wish she would
stay out of my business.

She's a very
nosy woman.

Now, who is this young
and handsome man?

Remember the pharmacist
I told you about?

Chukwuemeka?



Chukwa-who?

Chukwuemeka. In Nigeria
it's a very common name.

Get out of here.

Yes. There are many
famous Chukwuemekas.

- Chukwuemeka Onyemachi.
- Chukwuemeka Ojukwu.

- Chukwuemeka Nwadike.
- Chukwuemeka Woke.

Okay, I believe you.

Anyway, what's going on
with your Chukwuemeka?

His mother asked

my auntie to give him
a second chance,

but I don't
really like him.

You don't need
to like him.

He's Nigerian, young,
handsome, virile,

and a pharmacist
at the CVS.

How do you know he's virile?

Are you deaf? He's Nigerian.

What about Bob?

I don't know.

Now that his mother
had a stroke,

he has more important
things on his mind.

Well, if he's snoozing,
he's losing.

I heard that on the Seinfeld.
Jerry said it to Kramer.

Honey, you need
to think of this

like a horse race.

Let Bob and Chukwa-whatever
run around the track

and see which one pulls ahead.

There is no race.
I'm not the Kentucky Derby.

Ooh, we should make bets.

I will give you
three-to-one odds on the Bob.

Are you crazy?

I ain't betting against
no African in a footrace.

Four-to-one.

Now you got a bet.

Chupacabra could pull a hammy.

Excuse me,
you are discussing my life.

If you want a piece of
this, show me the money.

Jerry Maguire.
It's his catchphrase.

[Theme song playing]

Ow!

Damn it, Mom!

What happened?

I tried to eat
one of her carrots

and she stabbed me with a fork.

Let me see. Oh, she
didn't break the skin.

Still hurts.

Serves you right for stealing
food from a handicapped person.

Did she sleep
through the night?

She got up twice to pee and
we made it to the bathroom once.

She'll get better.

I hope so. I'm so
tired, I'm gonna cry.

You American men
and your sensitive feelings.

It's a figure of speech.

Whatever it is,
it is very unattractive.

Don't say it again.

Sorry.

I have a short break
this afternoon.

If your brother or sister
could stay with your mom,

maybe we can get some tea.

I wish I could. I got meetings
stacked up all day.

Oh, okay, well,
maybe another time.

Um, excuse me, I'll go check
on your mother.

Hey, tell her I went
for a tetanus shot.

I'll tell her
you cry like a girl.

Hello, Mrs. Wheeler.
How are you feeling?

Pretty good. Look,

I'm eating with my dead arm.

Wonderful.
Yeah.

Next step, clapping.

How did you sleep?

Like half a log.

I don't know what that means.

Mm, don't worry
about it.

- So what's going on with you and my son?
- Oh.

We are both
very busy people.

This is not the time.

Well, make the time.

Otherwise, you're gonna
end up like me,

a lonely old woman
with a faded tramp stamp.

I've seen it.
It's a beautiful butterfly.

Yeah, well,
right now it looks like

it's trying to fly
out of my adult diaper.

Listen, Abishola.

You can't wait for Bob,

you can't wait
for any man.

Live your life.

That's good advice. Thank you.

And we'll still be friends
either way.

Of course.
[gasps]

As a matter of fact,
when I get better,

I'm gonna take you on one of
those mother-daughter cruises.

- What about your daughter?
- Eh.

You'll love it.
They've got

gambling, dance contests,

costume nights.

[gasps]
I could go as Angelina Jolie

and you could be
one of my orphans.

[laughter]

Stop it.

Abishola, look
who came to visit.

Of course.
Chukwuemeka, hello.

Hello, Abishola.

Eh, Chukwuemeka
is checking

my blood pressure
for free.

Which is a little high, Uncle.

That's because he eats
too many biscuits and cookies.

- Oh, no, you need to cut back.
- You hear that?

He's not a doctor.

He's just a pharmacist.

Move over, let Abishola
sit down. Here, sit.

Sit.

If you'd like, I could take
your blood pressure next.

- Oh, no, thank you. I'm okay.
- Come on.

Let's give the young people
some privacy.

Put that down.

What is the point of living
if you can't have a cookie?

So, how have you been?

Oh, very good.
And you?

Good. Listen, Abishola,
last time I was here,

I feel like we got off
on the wrong foot.

Well, perhaps.

Which is why I brought you
a gift for your feet.

Dr. Scholl's
therapeutic insoles.

Very thoughtful.

We also sell the
CVS generic brand,

but I brought you
the real thing.

Thank you.

I hope you can
forgive me.

You do not need my permission
to pursue your career.

That is correct. I do not.

I apologize for my
stupid arrogance.

Like these insoles,
I only want to provide you

with all-day
comfort and support.

Thank you.

I accept
your apology.

Abishola,

when a man becomes
a pharmacist,

he takes an oath
to devote himself

to a lifetime
of service to others.

One day,

I hope I'm lucky enough
to make an oath like that

to a woman like you.

Okay.

Um...

You can take
my blood pressure.

- Hey, Bob, you got a minute?
- What's up?

- It's about Mom.
- She stab you, too?

- She stabbed you?
- I stole a carrot, my fault.

What do you need?

I'm worried Mom's not being
properly cared for.

What are you talking about?

We got Abishola
and the three of us.

Yeah, but Abishola's
part-time,

and we're needed here,
running this company.

We're running
this company?

Really, is that what we're
doing?

I'm gonna ignore that because

you're exhausted and I love you.

You don't have to ignore it,
you can learn from it.

I did some research,

and our company
insurance policy covers Mom

going into a top-shelf
aftercare facility.

You want to put our mother
in a nursing home?

It's way better
than that.

It's more like a hotel
for old sickly people.

A Club Med-icare, if you will.

No. It's never gonna happen.

[phone ringing]I got to grab this.

Why don't you get on out there
and run our company.

Don't be angry at me.

I am not the enemy,
Mom is.

What's going on?

Hello, Bob. Uh, I was hoping

that you and I
could sit down soon

and discuss a plan for your
mother's physical therapy.

- That sounds good.
- Hey.

Hang on.

- What are you doing here?
- Um, I work here?

It's your day
to take care of Mom.

No, it's Abishola's.

I'm talking to Abishola
right now. Are you at the house?

No. I'm on my way
to the hospital.

Mom is all by herself
right now.

So I should probably
get over there?

Yes!

Okay, calm down.

Her phone's right
by her side,

and Siri can kind of
understand her now.

Go! Sorry.

What were we talking about?
Uh, physical therapy?

Is your mother okay?

[knocking on door]
Hang on a second.

Yeah?

Sorry to interrupt,

but your sister is on
the warehouse floor "helping."

Aw, damn.
I got to call you back.

Please hurry.

His brother and sister
are quite a burden on him.

Oh, too bad.

If only you were being pursued
by a younger, more suitable man.

Stop it.

Okay.

[sighs]

I can hear
what you are thinking.

Maybe we are both
thinking it.

[organ playing]

[congregation murmuring]

Eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
Someone is sitting there.

Who?

The CVS Employee
of the Month.

I'll give
you a hint.

It rhymes with
"hookwa-take-a."

I was starting
to worry.

Where were you?

Chukwuemeka
wanted to stop

and get
Abishola a gift.

It is a bag of sunglasses.

Thank you.

Foster Grants, polarized.

Very nice.

Just promise me
you won't use them

to hide your beautiful eyes.

[laughing]
I won't.

Slow it down,
you two.

We're in a church.

And I brought
this handsome young man

a football that's a Nerf.

Thank you.

It's soft, so you can
kick it around the house

and not break anything.

If he kicks it
around the house,

I will kick him
around the house.

But thank you,
very kind.

Praise the Lord!

Hallelujah!

Welcome, my brothers
and sisters,

friends old and new.

We thank you, Jesus,

for this beautiful morning
where we can gather together.

[congregation clamoring]

Today, I'd like to talk
to you about faith.

Faith...

This is going
wonderfully.

So it seems.

What's wrong?

Something about
this Chukwuemeka

rubs me the
wrong way.

Well, he's not here
to rub you.

- What about Bob?
- What about him?

I thought that was the
match we were making.

That was before we had
a Nigerian man.

We were beggars,
now we are choosers.

Okay, you know best.

I do.

I really do.

Aw, come on, throw the ball!

Can't you hear
the 350-pound man

coming at you?

That quarterback's arm
is worse than mine right now.

Drinking in front of me
is kind of a dick move.

Sorry.

Can I ask you a question?

Sure.

What are you
doing here?

What do you mean?
I'm taking care of you.

Oh, Douglas or what's her name?

Christina?

Don't tell her I forgot.

One of them could
sit here with me.

You should be with Abishola.

She's a special girl, Bob.

Yeah, she is.

She kind of reminds me of myself
when I was younger.

Really?

A single mom
working seven days a week

and looking hot
every step of the way.

And you know where you
can stick that "really"?

Sorry.

Go on, call her.

You'll be okay?

Yeah.

I got my bedpan,
I got my football.

And you're gonna
leave me that beer.

So, did you
like the sermon?

To be honest,
I wasn't listening.

Huh, why not?

I was too distracted.

There was an angel
sitting next to me.

[laughs]
Chukwuemeka.

Too much?

Yes.

[phone ringing]

Excuse me.

Hello, Bob. Everything okay?

Yeah.

I was just calling to say hello.

Oh, hello.

How you doing?

Um, I'm a little busy

right now..
I'm at church.

Oh, sure.

Sunday. You know, we never
talked about that.

Uh, what's your religion?

I'm Christian.

What did you think?

Oh, uh, I don't know.

Uh, the other one?
It's not important.

Um, I have to go, Bob.

Oh, well, maybe
we can talk later?

- Yes, maybe.
- When?

I'll call you.

Oh, good, okay.

Goodbye, Bob.

Bye.

Abishola?

Yeah.

What's going on with
you two?

Nothing.

We're kind of
in a holding pattern.

- Waiting to land.
- Yeah.

- Before you run out of fuel.
- I guess.

And you crash in a big ball
of fire and everyone dies?

Why don't you go check on Mom?

One sec.

Ready.

I see that you and my niece are
getting along very well now.

Yes, we are.

Good, because
at first,

she hated you.

That was my fault.

Oh, how so?

I forgot
we are in America.

Women here
have to believe

they're in charge
of their lives.

Yeah, Abishola is
very independent.

She was all alone.

She had to be.

But from now on,
she'll have a strong man

who can make
decisions for her.

She's very lucky.

But she doesn't
know that.

And we won't
tell her.

No, we won't.

Excuse me,
I must thank the pastor

for his wonderful sermon.

What a bag of douche.

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Bob, it's me.

Me who?

Tunde.

Oh, hi. What's up?

We need to talk.

Okay, uh, you want to come
by the office tomorrow?

No, right now.

Now?

I am in a van outside
your house..listen.

[car horn honks]

That was me.

Well, hang on,
I'll be right there.

- Oh, and, Bob?
- Yeah?

Bring cookies.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, I got it!

Fig Newtons?

I-I was hoping for
something chocolate.

It's all I had.

All right.

So, what's going on?

You need to know another
man is courting my niece.

Really?

Yes, and he's
better than you

in every possible way.

Every way?

Younger, Nigerian.

And forgive me
for saying,

more traditionally
handsome.

Yep, that's every way.

But I am still
on Team Bob.

Thank you.

I don't want
to lose you.

That's very kind.

Do you have a plan?

Not really.

Well, get one!

All right,
I'll do that.

Good, because
there is one way

you are better
than this man.

And it's right here.

Thank you.

Your heart.

- I got that.
- Okay.

I have to go.
Get out.

Okay, I'm going.

- Bob?
- Yeah?

You never saw me.

Saw who?

Me, Tunde.

Goodbye.

Ah... bye.

Hmm.

The second one is better.

If you have any questions
about this prescription,

please feel free
to call.

Good Lord,
that is a beautiful man.

Next, please.

Hi, I was wondering
if this is

as good as the
name-brand stuff.

Oh, yes, they both have
the same active ingredient,

but our store brand is 40% less.

Yeah, I'm not so much
concerned about cost.

Does it taste the same?

'Cause I like
the regular Pepto.

I don't have stomach problems,
but I have been told

it has the same pink
chalky flavor.

Okay, good to know.

Have you seen a doctor
about your stomach?

You don't want to use
this stuff to hide an ulcer.

That's great advice.

I'll-I'll make an appointment.

[phone rings]

Excuse me.

Damn it, I love this guy.

CVS Pharmacy.

Can you please hold?

Is there anything else, sir?

No, just this.

Do you have a club card?

- No.
- That's okay.

I have one..
I'll use it for you,

and get you even more savings.

Thank you.
That's very kind.

It is my pleasure.

Hey, do you guys sell
compression socks here?

Oh, yes.

MaxDot.

The best money
can buy.

[groans]

Yeah, pink and chalky.

Handsome son of a bitch
was right.

Your mother finished
all her lunch.

Great.

Why are you
drinking that?

Just a little
tummy issue.

Could be an ulcer.

But whatever, I'm fine.

Is there blood in your stool?

What? No!

It will look hard and black.

Yeah, I don't want to talk
about my stool.

All right.

I was thinking about taking your
mother out for some fresh air.

Would you like to join us?

Uh... maybe
another time.

I'm a little
busy right now.

Oh, we could wait.

Nah, you guys go ahead.

Bob, is something wrong?

Nope.

All good.

Bob.

All right, look.

I know all about
this Chewbacca guy.

Chukwuemeka.

And how do you know about him?

I'm not at liberty to say.

Uncle Tunde?

Well... th...

This is the thing.

You and this guy have
a lot more in common

than you and I ever will.

And you probably

should go for it.

I should go for it?

Yeah, I mean,
if it makes you happy.

So, you just throw
in the blanket?

Towel.

Don't correct me!

And do not tell me
how to live my life.

Look, I didn't
mean it like that.

I was just trying
to be supportive.

When you care for someone,
you fight for them.

You don't just give up.

Okay, now I have an ulcer.

[man grunts on TV]

What have you done?

The right thing.

Bob is the
better man

and I stand by him,
no matter the consequences.

Come on in.

Thank you.