Bob Hearts Abishola (2019–…): Season 1, Episode 18 - Sock Wife! - full transcript

Good morning.

Remember who your friends are.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

I see this is your first
time dining with us.

- It is.
- Well, you are in for a treat.

Really?

Eh.

- Are you diabetic?
- No.

Sprinkle this on everything.

- Okay.
- And, if you need anything else,

this is my extension.



Ask for Kemi.

- Thank you, Kemi.
- You are welcome...

Lorraine Wheeler.

Hmm. That's funny, I know a Bob Wheeler.

So do I.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Big marshmallow man
with a little mustache?

He's back to the mustache?

Hmm, how do you know him?

He's my ex-husband.

Oh. Isn't that something.

How do you know him?

Oh, we share a dentist.

We both have soft gums.



Bye-bye.

Excuse me, excuse me!

Whoops, sorry! Excuse me!

Move! Move!

Excuse me!

Ooh, ooh! Sorry!

Come on, come on, come on.

Move!

Move, move, move!

Abishola?

Seventh floor...

- sock wife...
- What?

Sock wife!

_

Aren't you even curious?

Not at all.

But it's his ex-wife!

A woman who only existed
in your imagination

until she developed
noncancerous fibroid tumors!

I do not care.

I am not a nosy person.

- Well, I am!
- Me, too.

I already know everything
I need to know about her.

She cheated on him with his best friend.

Whoa, my kind of gal.

What's she look like?

The answer is right above you.

Well, actually, more...

over there.

This is a terrible idea.

Nobody cares what you think.

What would I even say?

You're a nurse. Check her pulse,
take her temperature!

Ask why she's a cheating whore.

I cannot do that.

Well, you're going to have to.

Hello.

Hi, uh, can...

can you help me raise the bed?

Of course.

- Better?
- Yes, thank you.

Is there anything else I can do for you?

Yeah.

- Say hi to Bob for me.
- What?

Her cover's blown.

How do you know that...?

Relax, I heard he was dating
a nurse at this hospital.

I was actually hoping to meet you.

Oh, okay.

It is nice to meet you, too.

- Lorraine.
- Abishola.

Well, got to tell you, Abishola,

I'm a little disappointed.

- Why?
- I wanted you to be a big chunk of ugly.

Sorry.

You're very beautiful.

Sorry.

When you see Bob,

tell him I'm happy for him.

I will.

He doesn't talk to me anymore.

Well, that might be because
you hurt him very badly.

Yeah.

When you cheated on him.

- Mm-hmm.
- With his childhood friend.

Hang on,
there are two sides to that story.

Oh, what is your side?

Well... I don't come off

real good in that one, either.

What are you two doing up here?

- Hello, Doctor.
- Doctor.

Answer my question.

I'm delivering food.

I don't know what she's doing.

Really?!

_

Hey, Kofo.

Hello, Mr. Wheeler's sister.

You can call me Christina.

I cannot.

Would you rather I call
you by your last name?

Oh, no. You would not
be able to pronounce it,

and it will just embarrass us both.

Dude, I've done a lot of flash mobs.

I don't embarrass easily.

Are you busy?

I could use your help.

I have some minutes.

What do you need?

Describe this to me.

That is our classic
men's size nine to 11,

calf-length, sports-fit in red.

Right, but what else could it be?

At a glance,

you could mistake it
for a women's large.

Or, if you just saw the one sock,

you might think it's a child's hat.

Sure.

But is there a more enticing way

to describe them to a customer?

Well...

instead of red, you could use

a fancier word like "vermilion."

Oh! I like that.

Where-where did that come from?

It was my favorite crayon
color as a young boy.

What about this one?

That is our premium
women's anklet in blue.

What would Crayola call it?

Sapphire?

That's great.

There's also sky, indigo, denim,

and, of course, Bluetiful.

Wow, you're like a crayon savant.

Guilty.

Hello, Kofo.

- Hello.
- What are you doing?

I am helping Mr. Wheeler's sister update

- the product names.
- Mm-hmm.

We're making them sexier.

Is that what you are doing, Kofo?

What can I say?

Blame it on the crayons.

Goodwin, what was your favorite
crayon when you were a kid?

Oh, I was too poor for crayons.

We drew pictures by mixing
our tears with dirt.

That is so sad.

Ha!

_

_

_

_

Is everything okay?

Oh, everything is wonderful.

_

_

Have a pleasant afternoon.

What a great guy.

_

So...

you paid no taxes last year?

Not a dime.

Between deductions and losses,

MaxDot Therapeutic Hosiery
actually got money back.

So I paid more taxes than your company?

That is not fair.

No. But, it's what makes
this country great.

Tunde, leave them alone.

Now I know why you drive a Cadillac.

I deduct that, too.

Oh, come on!

Sorry. That must be
really boring for you.

No, I'm happy you are in a good mood.

I guess I am.

So what's been going on with you?

How was your day?

- Anything interesting happen?
- I met your ex-wife.

Are you still in a good mood?

Unbelievable!

Is she stalking you?
'Cause she's done that.

No, no, no.

I met her at the hospital.

She's a patient.

Why, what's wrong with her?

I'm not allowed to say.

She gonna be all right?

I believe so.

That's too bad.

Long, painful recovery?

- Probably not.
- Damn it.

Bob, stop that.

- You once loved this woman.
- Hey!

If I can't joke about my ex-wife

dying a horrible death,
I don't know what

you and I have left
to say to each other.

She said she's happy that we are happy.

I'll bet she is.

She told me wonderful stories

about how much you loved your father.

She did?

Yes. How you and he were going to visit

all the baseball parks in the country.

And you only had five
to go before he died.

She had no right to tell you that.

She suggested that
you and I go visit those parks.

That'd be great.

We're really gonna turn
some heads in Texas.

O dabo, Kofo.

O dabo, Mr. Wheeler's sister.

Ah-ah-ah.

O dabo, Christina.

- Oh, you're still here.
- And so are you.

- I-I... I was working.
- Really?

Then why did I hear three dozen giggles

from behind the closed door?

It's not my fault.

I have very good ideas

and I deliver them in a charming way.

You cannot be seen
with Mr. Wheeler's sister.

Why? I enjoy her company.

She's smart, funny,

and just the right amount of crazy.

Oh, Kofo, please tell me

this relationship has
remained professional.

Relax, it is just about sex.

Sex?

- I-I meant socks.
- You said sex.

- But I meant socks.
- Then say socks!

Socks!

_

Thanks for not putting
a pillow over my face.

I thought about it,

but I signed in downstairs,
so there's a paper trail.

Nice of you to visit.

Well, I was in the neighborhood
and heard

you were sticking your
damn nose into my life,

so I thought I'd swing by.

You look good. Have you lost weight?

Don't try buttering me up. 35 pounds.

Seems like things are going well.

I'm happy for you.

- Sure you are.
- I am.

Abishola's lovely.

She is, and you need
to stay away from her.

Hey. She came looking for me.

- I'm a captive audience here.
- Well, you have

no right to tell my
girlfriend stories about me.

I didn't say anything bad.

I don't want you saying anything at all.

Leave us alone, go live your life.

What life?

You're kidding, right?
The one where you have

half of my money
and all of my best friend.

That? Yeah. That's all gone.

What are you talking about?

Gary, the... the money,
the condo, the boat.

- You had a boat?
- I'm sorry.

You gave me a lot of money.

Don't cry.

It's no fun if you cry.

Hey.

The tables have really turned, huh?
I'm s...

sick and pathetic and
you're happy and skinny.

Well, I'm still not at my target weight.

I am down two sizes.

What happened with Gary?

- Does it matter?
- Yeah.

I grew up with the guy.
It'd be nice to know

it ended horribly for him.

He cheated on me.

He left me for a younger woman.

Still waiting for the horrible part.

Me too.

Bob, I'm so sorry for what I did to you.

I will never forgive myself.

Good.

In the meantime, you just need
to focus on getting better.

And staying away from my girlfriend.

I will.

I promise.

Okay, well...

I'll see ya.

See ya.

Hey, Bob?

Yeah.

Can I have a hug?

Just so you can feel how skinny I am.

Oops! Excuse me.

Whoa! Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Excuse me. Sorry, sorry.

Sorry, excuse me.

Move, move, move!

Sock man... sock wife...

- Slow down.
- What are you saying?

He was on top of her!

Oh. I got my steps in.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Just so you know,

people are talking about you and Kofo.

What people?

Goodwin.

Oh, Kofo said he's a fuddy-duddy.

He actually said that. "Fuddy-duddy."

Isn't he the cutest?

You can't find a fellow employee
"the cutest."

That's not appropriate anymore.

It's 2020, not 2017.

He doesn't directly report to me.

And anyways, we're just working.

I said those exact words to
you about Tina in accounting

and Mom had to buy her a food
truck to make it go away.

Oh, God. It is so hard
to be single these days.

That's why I go to
Amsterdam twice a year.

Hash, hookers, pair of wooden shoes,

still cheaper than a food truck.

You know, I never hear you
talk about your ex-husband.

That is true.

Does he even have a name?

He does.

Is it Paul?

I heard you visited with your ex.

Let me guess, Kemi told you?

- She's a good friend.
- Mm.

Yeah, I did.

Felt I should see how she's doing.

How did that go?

You're not jealous, are ya?

No.

Well, you don't have to laugh.

Anyway, I'm glad I went.

Turns out you can be mad at somebody

and still care about 'em.

Forgiveness is a gift
you give to yourself.

That's good, I like that. It's weird.

I've spent so many years
wishing the worst for her

and now that it's happened,

- I don't know what to feel.
- Well, we can only

pray that Lorraine will find happiness.

Praying for my ex-wife.

That's just nuts.

Try it.

Oh, come on, no.

I'm serious. Say a prayer for her.

Now? Here?

Yes.

Okay.

God, or whoever...

Okay, God,

take care of my ex-wife

and give her everything
she needs to be happy.

How did that feel?

Wrong.

You keep doing it and I promise you

all your hurt feelings
and anger will be gone.

Listen to you,
you're like a sexy Buddha.

I have to get back to work.

Do you ever pray for me?

Of course, every day.

- Is it around 7:00, 7:30 in the morning?
- What?

That's when I get this warm
pressure feeling in my chest.

I wasn't sure if it was gas or what.

_

- Hello.
- Oh, hi.

- How are you feeling?
- Good.

They're sending me home.

Oh, that's wonderful.

I, uh, I spoke with Bob.
He said he came to see you.

Yeah, he did.

- He's such a sweet guy.
- Yes, he is.

- I didn't realize how much I missed him.
- Aw...

So it all ended well?

It did, although...

it doesn't feel like an ending.

It doesn't?

When we hugged,
it felt like a new beginning.

Really?

Yeah, all that anger and sadness

that kept us apart... it's...

just gone now.

Oh. Well, that's wonderful.

It is, and I have you
to thank for it, Abishola.

Oh, I didn't do anything.

It's all God's work.

Well, whoever's responsible,

- I am very grateful.
- All right.

- Well, I'll say goodbye, then.
- Oh.

I'm sure I'll see you soon.

- Mm, maybe one day.
- Maybe tomorrow.

I live in the neighborhood!

Oh, good.

All right, bye-bye.

Excuse me.

Excuse me, excuse me.

Kemi.

Kemi. We have a problem.

- Sock wife?
- Sock wife.

I'm going to say... plum.

Mm... You can do better.

- Juicy plum.
- There you go.

If you weren't black, you could've been

in advertising in the '50s.

Thank you.

You and I... we make a great team.

Yes, we do.

So, what's next?

That was the last sock.

Oh.

Huh...

I guess, then, I should be going.

I guess.

It's been a pleasure working
with you, Christina.

The pleasure was all mine,

Mr. Olanipekun.

I really have to go.

O dabo.

O dabo.