Blue Bloods (2010–…): Season 7, Episode 2 - Good Cop Bad Cop - full transcript

Danny and Baez investigate the death of an elderly woman who was shot in her home by a stray bullet. Also, Frank faces ridicule from his department when he disciplines a disrespectful cop, and Erin steps in to help her detective, Anthony, find a legal solution to a case that's personal to him.

Excuse me.


Com-Commissioner. Sir.

Smoking and texting
on the job?

What do you call that,

Uh, no, sir.

I think you dropped something,


The butt.

Oh, no, I was done with it.

Name and shield?

Officer Clark, sir. 62109.

It's called littering,
Officer Clark.

What, the butt?

Please pick it up.



Pick it up.

With all due respect, sir,
I-I work for the NYPD,

not Sanitation.

And that's called
refusing an order.

Permission to secure said butt
upon my person, sir?

Let me see your summons book.

For what?

How can we ask
to respect our laws

if we don't respect them

You wrote me a summons
for littering?

While smoking on the job
and texting on your cell phone,

both Patrol Guide violations.

But I'm the good guy.

I am one of your cops.

Then act like it.

Anthony, put the groceries
over there.

You got it, Ma.

What do you want for lunch?

Ma, we just ate lunch.

I meant dinner.

Ask your father
if he wants meatballs tonight.

Pop isn't here anymore.

Will you stop fussing
with that mail

and put the groceries away?


I'm talking to you.

Hang on.

This can't be.
Y-Your bank statement.

It says you have no money.


Ma, two months ago, you--
you had $30,000.

Now you got bupkis.

What did I do?

Now you're mad.

Ma, I'm not mad.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Y-You're mad. I can't take it
when you look at me like that.

Come here.

I promise you I'm not mad.

I promise.

Did I do something bad?

It's gonna be okay.

Everything's gonna be okay.

Hey. What do we got?

That's the million
dollar question.

What do you mean?

None of this makes any sense.

Try me.

This is Sally Jeffries.
She's lived here over 40 years.

Neighbors describe her as
nothing short of a saint.

Okay, so somebody shot
a churchgoing old lady.

It wouldn't be the first time.

She got any kids or grandkids

involved in the gang culture
around here?

She's got a son,

but he's far from hood.

He's an engineer
down in Virginia.

Okay, well, somebody
kicked the door in.

Maybe it was a robbery
or a home invasion?

No, see here's where
it got strange.

When our uniforms
responded to the scene,

that front door was bolted
and chained from the inside.

Okay, so our guys
kicked the door in.

Well, maybe somebody was
sitting in here with her,

shot her, and slipped out
one of the windows.

Wh-- and bothered to put
the screen back?

I mean, there's no gun anywhere,
so she obviously

didn't shoot herself.
I don't know.

I mean, don't laugh,

but I'm a little spooked
by this whole thing.

Well, what are gonna do,
call Ghostbusters?

Let's just keep looking around.

I'm sure there's
a logical explanation.

Maybe someone shot her somewhere
and then dumped her here?

Well, that theory
wouldn't really work,

because you said the door was
locked from the inside, right?

Well, then what?


the round came from
outside of the apartment.

That makes sense.

Like a sniper?

Or a stray bullet.

There's no entry or exit wound
in the back of the sofa,

so maybe it came in
from this direction.

I'd say that looks
like a bullet hole to me.

I don't believe it.
Yeah, believe it.

You're gonna let this one
go to your head, aren't you?

Most likely.

Think I just found our ghost.
Someone's on the run.


Hold it! Police!



Come back!

Get out of the way, watch out!

Come here.
Come here. Come here.


Hey, man.

Damn it.

♪ Blue Bloods 7x02 ♪
Good Cop, Bad Cop
Original Air Date on September 30, 2016

== sync, corrected by elderman ==

You dropped something, speedy.

That ain't mine.

Sure it is.
This is you, right?

Terrell Spaulding?

Why'd you run?

There some kind of law
against running?

In my experience,

when you run from cops,
it means you're guilty.

In my experience, you don't run
from the cops, you're an idiot.

You live six blocks from
Mrs. Jeffries' apartment.

What were you doing clocking
what I was doing there?

I don't know.
I was just looking.

You was just looking?

Do you know Ms. Jeffries?

You know anything
about Ms. Jeffries?

'Cause I do. She's
a mom and a wife

and a grandmother,
and she raised a son

from that block to graduate
from college with honors.

Now, you and I both know that's
a very difficult thing to do.

So give her a medal.

You know, I have a son your age.

Give yourself a medal, too.

And 14-year-old kids should
not be as hardened as you!

You see a lot of white
picket fences up in my hood?

No, I don't.

When did you start running
with the Unique Splitz?

Man, it's just ink.

You think I was born
yesterday, Terrell?

Come on.

We both know that's
a gang affiliation.

So why don't you
start talking?

Okay. How's this?
I want a lawyer.

You... you want a lawyer,
so maybe

you're in a lot more trouble
than I thought you were, huh?

I know the game.
Do you?

I ask for a lawyer,
you ain't allowed

to ask me no more questions.

Where'd you pick that one up?
I told you.

I ain't saying
nothing to you.

Okay, then.

You're free to go,
Street Smarts.

Just remember,

you've entered my world now.

Nah, Detective.
You in our world.

We'll see about that.

Take him home.

What do you got?

We were canvassing the area
and talked to someone

who might have seen something
on your case.

Might have?

He's not too chatty.

It's going around. Thanks.

Oh, my God.

It's actually
pretty good.


He can never see this.

I have already
seen it.

Please join me.
You, too, Baker.

Please... sit down.

Just for the record,

what idiot had the nerve
to send that to you?

Idiots. Plural.

Both my sons.

I thought Officer Clark's
caricature was pretty funny.

Didn't you?

Well, I don't know.

Oh, come on.
You guys didn't even smile?

I did.

Maybe a little.

It was more out of shock
than anything else.

Nobody smiles in shock, Baker.

Well, did you read
the comments?

What comments?

The responses to Officer Clark's

Uh, no, I did not.
Uh, give me the gist.

There are a few positive
ones backing you up.

Out of how many?

A few out of hundreds
and counting.

Plus, the Post
got a hold of it

and put it on their Web site.

Well, that's their job.

There wasn't

a version of this where you just
took down his name

and passed it
to the commanding officer?

Sure there was,
but that is not the version

that actually happened.

He smart-assed me,

then he refused a direct order.

You don't get to do that.

Yes, sir. No, sir, I mean.

And I did talk
to his commanding officer.

Oh. Well, that's good.

It is? Why's that?

You know.
Kind of making it light.

You know?
Things got a little heated,

one thing led to another,

yada, yada, yada...

that is not the version
that actually happened.

I ordered his C.O.

to place Officer Clark
on modified duty

for insubordination.

Just so you know, his dad's
Sergeant Pat Clark

of the 3-1
and his uncle's deputy chief.

No hooks on this, please.

You know, in his day, Teddy was

drawn as anything
from a bull moose

to a fishwife
to a rogue elephant.

I'd like to think he kept
his sense of humor, too.

Does the name Frankie Reed
mean anything to you?

Was he a friend
of your father's?

No, Ma. He's a con man with
a rap sheet a mile long.

Oh, I would never have anything
to do with someone like that.

Uh, you-you wrote a half a dozen
checks for him

for a few thousand
dollars apiece.

I did?

Oh! That's Frankie. I know him.

He's not a con artist.

He's a very nice man.

You would like him, Anthony.

Yeah, I really doubt that, Ma.
No, you would.

Poor thing,
he just lost his wife.

And his son has leukemia.

I think it's leukemia.

Is that why you gave him
the money, Ma?

He told you his family was sick?

Well... did I give him
a lot of money?

You gave him all of it.

Oh, Anthony.

Please, don't tell me that.

Listen to me very carefully.

I need you

to try to remember everything
you can about this guy.

What are you gonna do?

Just take a look.


You told the officers you spoke
to that you saw one gang of kids

fighting another gang of kids

in front of Ms. Jeffries'

and then you heard a gunshot.

Wait a second,
that's not exactly what I said.

No? It's pretty damn close
to what you said.

I-I would just... prefer to stay
out of this,

if that's okay?

Oh, now you want to stay
out of it?

Oh, is that because you...
recently bought a place

in that neighborhood yourself?

Something wrong with that?
No. Not at all.

I mean, I think it's great
when someone like you

takes a chance on a neighborhood
like that.

I mean, you're gonna fix your
place up all nice, and then

other people will follow,
and then, hell,

pretty soon there'll be
good schools

and a Starbucks
on every street corner.

That's the idea.
See the problem,

though, Larry, is that
neighborhoods like that,

they don't turn around
on their own.

It takes members of the
community to do their part,

and since you are now a member
of that community,

how about you do your part?

Detective, there is
no way I'm gonna

get on the wrong side
of that gang.

“That gang.”
You... mean the Splitz?


Well, is that because

you're scared, Larry?

Or is that because you know

as soon as those kids finish
killing themselves off,

then your property value
will increase?

I'm not the one
who did anything wrong.

Look, Larry,
someone fired a gun,

and the bullet from that gun
killed an innocent woman

sitting in her apartment,
on her sofa, watching TV.

In your neighborhood.

And that could be you next,

I know.
You know.

Then work with me here.

Who had the gun?

I'm not even positive
I heard a gunshot.

I said maybe I did.

You know, I think, maybe,

you know exactly
who the shooter was.

Look, I don't know why I'm
getting the third degree.

I haven't done anything wrong.
I'm just trying to help.

Then help.

I can't.

You can't or you won't?

I'm not gonna

ask you again.
Where's the money?

I don't know
what you're talking about.

Hey, take it easy.
Mind your business.

You like to fleece old ladies, do you?

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Yeah, listen,

you got two choices:
give me every nickel

of my mother's money back, or I'm gonna
put your head through the wall.

Okay, okay. I-I...
I'll give you the money.

Just give me a couple of days.

We ain't negotiating!

I don't have it.

Where is it?

I spent it, all right?

Police! Let him go!

It's okay.

I'm on the job.

I said let him go.

Now. Keep your hands

where I can see 'em.

I called you as a courtesy.

Your partner is this close
to getting himself arrested.

I really appreciate it, Jamie.
You better talk to him, Erin.

And you better have him
apologize to those officers.

I will and he will.
But what happened?

I mean, there's just no way
Anthony would act like this

without just cause.

He had 30,000 good reasons,
Erin, but that's no excuse.

When a uniform tells you
to come, you come.

What happened?

See that one over there?

That's Frankie Reed.

He's a low-level scammer.
He befriended Anthony's mother

a couple months ago,
who suffers from Alzheimer's.

Looks like he conned her

out of her whole life savings
over the last two months.

So you arrested him?

Unfortunately, I got nothing
to hold him on.

You just said he conned her out
of $30,000.

It's a he said, she said.

And, unfortunately,
what she says today

she can't remember tomorrow.

So he just walks?

Don't look at me. Your office
would kick this back to me

before I could even get
the cuffs on.

He says she gave him the money,

and, for all we
know, she did.

I got no case.
I got no probable cause here.

You're right.

It's okay. It's...

You know, it's not okay.

What? What's not okay?

That we're constantly having
to tell people

we can't help them
when it's our job to help.


Let's go, Anthony. You need
to apologize to the officers.

I do?
Yeah, you do.

And then we're gonna figure out
a way

to nail this son of a bitch
for what he did

to your mother.

What's up?
You holding?

You got the green?

14 years old

and knee-deep in the life,
huh, Street Smarts?

You're really living the dream,
aren't you? Where's your mommy?

You say something about my mother?
Take it easy.

I'm looking for your boss, Roxy.
Where is she?

Why don't you run
along and play?

What you want?

Roxy Barnes.

Look at you, the
first woman to break

the glass ceiling
and run the Splitz.

Didn't just break it,

straight-up blasted it.
That's impressive.

You're a real inspiration
to women.

You're a regular
Susan B. Anthony.


Never mind.

My name's
Detective Reagan.

I need to talk to you.

I don't do no talkin'.
You want to talk?

Talk to the fat boy.
Here he comes.

My name is Dominick Barbosa.

I'm the registered counsel
for Ms. Barnes.

The fat boy. Yeah, I get it.

You're lawyered up already, huh?

I'm a businesswoman.

Fat boy always on retainer.

Detective, how can we help you?

We have reason to believe

Sally Jeffries was shot by a
stray bullet through her window.

We're talking to people
in the neighborhood,

trying to get

that might lead us
to her killer.

It's a terrible thing
what happened there.

We were all very upset

to learn that news this morning.
So then

you wouldn't mind telling us
which member of your crew

fired the gun, right?
My crew?

Please, Five-O, you trippin'.

Come on. I got an eyewitness,
saw your gang

fighting in front of
Ms. Jeffries' window right

at the time of the shooting.


my client has

no information to share.

What happened
to everyone being so busted up

about Ms. Jeffries' death?

Man, check this out, man.

We take care of our own
round these parts,

and if we need
your help,

we'll holla at you.
You know,

for a little lady,
you sure got a big mouth.

Damn straight.

if you have reason
to believe my client

committed a crime,
then arrest her.

Short of
that, have

a pleasant afternoon.

Stay close to her.

She's gonna need you.

Aw, get out of here, boy.
I'm going.

But I'll see you soon.

Man, kick rocks.
Just calm down.

I want you to know
I really appreciate

you doing this for me
and for my mother.

Well, I haven't done anything yet.
But you're trying.

There ain't that many triers
left in the world.

Well, don't thank me until
we actually build a case.

And how we gonna do that?

Well, right now, Frankie says
your mother gave him the money,

but you think he forced
her or threatened her.

So if we can prove that,
then we have a case.

Yeah. But Ma
don't remember nothing.

Doesn't remember anything.

Who doesn't remember anything?

Your mother, Anthony.

And that might be true,
but someone else might.

She made nine transactions
in the period of two months,

all at the same branch.

So maybe someone saw this
scumbag being a real scumbag.

Word choices, Anthony.



Do you have the cat
in your sight, ma'am?

And is that tree visible
from the street?


As you were.

Hey, Sam.

How you doing?

Thought you might enjoy these.

Officer Clark over there is part
of a long and rich tradition

of using caricature to make
a political or social point.

The difference
in this instance is

that the guys who drew these
worked for the newspapers.

He works for me.

Here you go.

I'm sorry about that,

Sorry you did it
or sorry I saw it?




you got family on the job,
but you didn't use a hook.

How come?

Sir, I've been made an
example of since I could walk.

Something about me.
If I screw up, people in charge

like to make an example of me.

That's not what I'm doing here.

Point is, I'm used to it.

And I quit bothering
my family with it long ago.

You put in for transfer
out to Nassau County.

I don't think you have
all your Intel there, sir.


I put in a year and a half ago.

I got approved a year ago.

But you're still here.

I was still here, yes.

Copy that, Officer.

I don't understand
why nobody here called me.

Give me a heads-up
that my mother

has taken out 30 grand
in less than two months.

Mr. Abetemarco, your name
isn't on the account.

Did anything look suspicious
to you or to any of the tellers?

It's not our job to
be evaluating the company

our clients keep.

Well, it may not be your job,

but it may be viewed
as your responsibility.

Mrs. Abetemarco is the sole
signee on this account.

She herself made
each of these withdrawals.

I'm sorry, but that's all
I can say on the matter.

Sounds like she played you
pretty good.

Knew you were coming.

Had her lawyer on standby.

You want I should go back there
and get you her autograph?

I'm just saying,
underestimate your enemy

at your own peril.

Underestimate your partner
at your own peril.


Babe, can I call you back?
I'm just eating lunch here.

Your son cut school today.

He did what?

Oh, and it gets better. Yeah.

He and his knucklehead friends,

they went to Cali's
and got drunk.

Put him on the phone.

he's sleeping it off.


I'll deal with him
when I get home.

My idiot son skipped school
to go party with his friends.

What, like you never cut school?


I may have underestimated you,

You're a genius.


Can I have your fortune cookie?

All right, hold him right there!

Get 'em out of here!

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

Y'all can't
collar them!

You got to observe them

doing hand to hands first.

Hey, they're not collaring

All right, so where the hell

they taking my crew at, man?

Well, these are
truancy officers.

You do realize all of these kids
are supposed to be

in class right now.

Man, quit playing. Please.

I'm actually not playing at all.

In fact, I'm gonna be back here

every morning at 7:30
when the school bell rings.

Hey, you cannot do this, man.
And I sure the hell can do it.

Or I can't.

That is really up to you,
Half Pint.

Half Pint?

That's right, Short Stack.

You want to tell me

which one of your crew
was the shooter?

I'll let them hang out of school
as long as they want.

Man, hell no.

Okay, then.
I'll see you tomorrow.

And the next day.
And the next day!

Man, you messing with
the wrong female, Five-O.

Don't be a fool,
stay in school.

Come on, get 'em out of here.
Let's go.

Hey, Dad.

“Hey, Dad”?

Look, I'm sorry.

No. You're gonna be sorry.

Mom's making a much bigger deal
out of this than it is.

You know how she gets.

No, I don't know how she gets,

What I do know is you
and your friends cut school

to go have a party
at Cali's house.

It wasn't a party.

So, now we're gonna add lying
on top of

drinking and
cutting school.

Wow, you're really
batting a thousand here, kid.

I-I'm sorry.


I know you think this isn't
a big deal,

but it is.

it was just a couple of beers.

The beers are bad enough.

What's worse is you cut school.

And what's even worse than that
is this.

The party?

No, not the party.

The video you made of the party.

I-I... I just don't get
what the big deal is.

You put it online!

What if a college recruiter
saw this? Then what, Jack?

Dad, it's ZipVid...

It-it disappears unless
you put it on your timeline.

And even then,
it's only up for 48 hours.

Oh... so that means
the entire world

only gets to see my son
act like a complete idiot

for two whole days?
Well, that's a real relief.

I'll delete it.

You're not getting this back
till Christmas.

That's if you
grow some brains by then.

New plan.

“Buckner v.
The State of New York.”

What's it say?
Read it.

Can't you just give me
the CliffsNotes?

We don't need to prove that
Frankie coerced your mother.

We just need to prove he was
aware of her condition

at the time that he
asked for money.

That's great.

How we gonna do that?

We get him to incriminate
himself on a wire.

Erin, I know you mean good,

I can't wire up my mother.

I'm not gonna put a wire
on your mother.

Then who?
A cop.

Your check, sir.

But I haven't eaten yet.



Oh... right.

I'm sorry.

Here, let me get that.

It's the least I can do,

since you were nice enough

to listen to my sob story.

No, it's okay.

Nah, I insist.

I mean, you don't know me.

I'm just some stranger
who sat down

next to you to shoot the breeze.

I don't know you?

You don't remember me
sitting down, do you?

Well, I don't know. Maybe.

You remember offering to
loan me money?

No, did I?

You did.

You said my son's life
was worth a hell of a lot more

than a measly $2,000.

I did?

You're having second thoughts.

Henry, that's okay.
I don't want to hold you

to a promise that
you don't want to keep.

No, no, no.
I'm a man of my word.

I want to give you the money.

You're a saint, Henry.

An honest-to-goodness saint.

Should we...

head over to the bank?


We got him dead to rights.


Henry Reagan.


Henry, it's Chris Pappas.

Don't you remember?

We worked together
in the 3-1.

You're a cop?

I'm a little confused.

Geez. Is this guy kidding me?

A cop?

This guy is NYPD royalty.

Don't you know who he is?

I think we should go to the bank
before it closes.

Y-You know what?

I just remembered
I have another appointment.


Henry, did I just
screw something up?

I'm sorry, Anthony.

I can't believe this.
We had him.

Seriously, what makes you think

one of these kids shot video

of the fight the other night?

Because with kids nowadays,
an event didn't even occur

unless somebody recorded it
on their phones.

Well, I'll give you that,
but even if they did

shoot the fight,
what makes you think

they're dumb enough to share it

on social media?
You'd be surprised

how dumb a 14-year-old could be.
Trust me.

Well, so far these kids seem...

Well, wait a second.
What's that one?

Looks like outside
Sally Jeffries' apartment.

Play that video.

Would you look at that?

Play it again, okay?
I'm gonna record it on my phone.

It's gone.
I-I don't know what happened.

These things, they self-destruct
after 48 hours.

How do we get it back?

Damn it.

Knock. Pause
for response.

Sorry, boss.

But we think you should

reinstate Officer Clark
to active duty.

There is really nothing
to discuss here.

Actually, I think there's
a lot to discuss.

Particularly, your
over-the-top reaction

to a minor infraction.

Insubordination is never
a minor infraction.

Walk into any precinct
in the city,

you're losing
the public relations battle.

Look, I was not just
screwing around out there.

It's about his life!

A cop can't walk around
like this.

He's got to
watch his six o'clock.

In the NYPD, no cop
has ever given another cop

a summons while he was on duty
and in uniform,

let alone the commissioner.

Okay, I'll tell you what else
has never happened before.

A beat cop refusing
a direct order

from his commissioner.

How do cops see it?

Like one cop
slapping another cop

with a speeding ticket
while he's in the middle

of a high-speed chase.

Oh, please.
Don't try to spin this

like he was in the middle
of some heroic duty.

He was smoking a cigarette
and texting.

I know, boss, but he's a good cop.

I checked.
Yeah, who stepped out of line,

took heat for it.

Maybe he'll take a lesson
from that.

He, just this morning,
cashed in on his transfer

out to Nassau County.

Next week is his last.

I thought you'd want to know.

Did they change my door to read
“Personnel Director”?

No, sir.

But not for nothing,
the time and money

it takes to train
a Richard Clark?

Wouldn't it be a waste to just
let him walk out the door?

There's always attrition.

Just the way it is.

Hey, Street Smarts.

Get over here.
Yo, man. We ain't do nothing.

Step back, you. Come here.
The rest of you, don't move.

Get your hands out of your pockets.
Hands against the car.

Hey, man, what'd I do?

Put your hands on the car.

Anything in your pockets?
Any weapons?

Oh, what do we got here?
You can't take that.

Sure, I can.

Besides, I got a warrant.
For what?

I told you guys
not to come this way.

For that.

I got it.
Let's go.

Come on.

Scoot over.

Going for a stroll, Anthony?

What are you doing here?

Hoping I wasn't
gonna find you.

What are you talking about?

Come on, Anthony, we both know
we're on Frankie's block.

We are?

You're as good a liar
as you are a linguist.

Why don't you just go home?
Don't worry about this.

I know how you feel, Anthony.

And I'm 100% behind you,

but if you do what we both know
you're here to do,

then your mother's
gonna lose you, too.

I can't let him get away with it.
Sure, you can.

You've seen his rap sheet.

You know he's gonna be back
in the system sooner or later.

And when he is,

I promise you
I will max him out.

I'm not just gonna sit
on my hands, Erin.

This is my mother
we're talking about.

Go home, or I'm calling this in.

Let's go, Street Smarts.
Come on.

Don't worry. It's the start
of a beautiful friendship.



Are you okay, Reagan?

Son of a bitch.
You okay?

I'm okay, I guess.

All right. Take a breath.

Take a breath.

You get a plate?

This is what I'm
talking about, kid.

We're not playing
any games here, okay?

This is serious stuff.

I want to go home.
You'll go home when I say you do.

Now, did you get a look
at the shooter?

It was Roxy, wasn't it?
Wasn't it?

All right.

It's all right.

Evening, fat boy.

Can I help you, Detective?

Yes. This is a warrant
for your client's arrest.

As an officer of the court,
it's your responsibility

to notify your client

that she's wanted for
the murder of Sally Jeffries

and the attempted murder
of Terrell Spaulding.

If I happen to speak to her,
I'll pass it along.

Well, you make sure you happen
to speak to her.

Have a nice night, detectives.

You good, partner?

Is there a problem, Detective?

Anybody here in the house
with you?

That's none of your business.

Actually, it is my business.

Put your hands where I can
see them and turn around.

Excuse me?
Turn around,

face the wall.

Danny, what's going on?

Hold on. I think your bullet
might've clipped Roxy.

Hands behind your back.
You have no right to cuff me.

If you're harboring
a fugitive, I do.


Drop it.

Drop it!

I was hoping you'd give me
an excuse to finish you.

You got a minute?

I have someone
who wants to say hello.

Mr. Reagan.

How are you?
I just wanted

to stop by and
apologize for, uh,

letting you guys
down the other day.

Not at all.
You were great.

We just caught
a bad break is all.

Uh, your family's caught

one too many bad breaks,
as far as I'm concerned.

We'll get him...
eventually, right?

Well, with her

at your side,
I have no doubt.

But I wanted to do
my part, too.

Please, Mr. Reagan,

you've already done
more than enough.

This is for your mother.


What is this?

When you've been
top cop in this town,

you end up with friends
in high places.

An old pal of mine

is the CEO of
your mother's bank.

When he found out what went down
at one of his branches...

he wanted to do the right
thing by your mother.

I don't know what to say.

Say you'll invite me over
for dinner one night.

I hear your mother makes
a mean meat sauce.

Once upon a time.


Thank you, sir.

So, who is Captain Queeg?

He's a character

from an old book and movie,
The Caine Mutiny.

Yeah. I've heard of that.

How's Grandpa like
Captain Queeg?

He's not.

- No, I'm not.
- I was just

using an example
of an iconic character.

In your own inimitable way.

What does “inimitable” mean?


Look, uh, my officer

broke the law,
in uniform, on duty,

and then he refused
a direct order.

That does not make me
Captain Queeg,

or a stickler,

or a pinched-nosed nanny,
and that's that.

Well, I worked a few crime
scenes with that guy.

Thought he was pretty sharp.

I mean, he noticed things
that nobody else did,

including me, twice.

And what are you saying?
Just saying,

if he could stay
out of his own way,

he'd probably make
a great detective.

Well, that's like saying
if you had a great arm,

you could be Manning.

All right.

At the Academy his nickname
was Little Big Horn.

How'd he get that?
An instructor

was taking him apart
after an exercise one time

and said that
he was taking bets that Clark

would finish bottom of his class

if he finished at all.
Clark lipped him back

and said that
General Custer finished

bottom of his class
at West Point

and went on to become,
you know, General Custer.

So the bosses
called him Little Big Horn.

That's pretty good.

Clark didn't back down, either.

He got “Little Big Horn”
tattooed on his shoulder.

Wow. What a badge of honor.

Remind you of anyone?


Bottom of his class,
quick with the lip.

I wasn't at the bottom.

Spitting distance.

And what's your point, Pop?

No point.

Just an observation.

You have shades, ma'am,
or curtains of some sort?

Well... that is
your answer right there.

He cannot watch you undress
if the shades are drawn.


As you were.

Twice in a week.
A dream come true, right?

There's something
I wanted to say in person.

I busted your chops,
you busted mine.

That fair to say?
Yes, sir.

So we're pretty much
even on that score.

Yes, sir.

Okay. Then all
things being equal,

if you're convinced
that nailing skinny-dippers

and chasing down shoplifters
out in the Hamptons

is your true calling...

then you have my blessing.

I'll even make
some calls for you.

Thank you, sir.

But if you're half
the guy I think you are...

...and half the cop
I hear you are,

I'm pretty sure this
little bit of shade

hasn't exactly shattered
you to pieces.

Maybe you need to think
about that, too.

What's that?

Nicotine lozenges. They say
they help with the cravings.

Can't smoke on the job
on Long Island, either.


== sync, corrected by elderman ==