Blood Drive (2017): Season 1, Episode 12 - Faces of Blood Drive - full transcript

Previously on "blood drive"...

Fiiiight!

If you refuse to kill,

then we just have to properly
motivate you.

The fuck could you have
against me?

Karma? You did this to us!

And then there were two!

You heard the man.

Can only be one primo.

Yes, it is a forfeit!

It is a forfeit! It's over!



It's over!

Primo.

Primo!

Primo.

Talk to me.

I was just asking if you're
excited for your big night.

No better excuse to party.

Couldn't have said it
better myself.

This is Garrett.

They're holding to speak
to primo.

Primo, I have...

And.

They're big fans of mine.

Hang up.



Would you like
to go through the schedule?

Dazzle me.

You'll start with the obligatory

red carpet schmooze.

After that, you'll get
a little time to yourself

in your own private tent.

And finally, the reason
we're all here:

The primo tribute ceremony.

And a camera crew to record it
all for posterity.

- Very important.
- Tribute ceremony?

Like the Olympics?
Like the Olympics.

Like, like... like the emmys,

like the fucking fourth of July
and a goddamned coronation,

all rolled into one!

So three times the chicks.

I love you, primo!

Start kicking ass, primo!

How you doing, sweetheart?

- Primo!
- Primo!

Primo, can I get your autograph?

This is gonna hurt like shit.

Dot the "I," and we're done.

Enjoy it, buddy, but know this:

From here on out,
every girl you bone

will be pretending it's me.

Arthur... Arthur!

You need to talk to me.

It's been a week.
I haven't seen you since...

shoving your sister
into a blood engine?

Shit was badass.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

She had it coming.

What's this?

Looking good, you big
swinging dick, primo!

No snarky comeback?
No kick in the balls?

Love you, primo!

You've changed.

You should try it.

I know who I am, grace.

And I'm fucking fabulous.

Is that not the finest
primo you've ever seen?

I don't know.

He seemed a little
disconnected back there.

Like his heart's not
really in it.

Horseshit. He was born for this.

He's laserfocused on being

the greatest primo of all time,

and nothing is gonna
distract him from his...

Destiny.

Arthur, where are you?

Whoo! Fuck yeah!

Hello, blood driiiive!

To the grease monkeys
and red junkies,

to the bruisers and the losers,

to the manskanks
and sperm banks,

I ask you this...

Who wants to fight the primo?!

I wrote that.

Yeah, primo!

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

What did I tell you?

He's primo to the core.

Wait'll you see the tribute
I have planned.

Respectfully, slink, I'm
the ranking exec on blood drive.

I got a couple suggestions
to make...

Look, I thought we discussed
this already.

I am master of ceremonies,

god of the stage.

This is the ceremony;
That is the stage.

What part of god and master
do you not understand?

Slink, this is about the show.

I can take you global.

All you got to do
is pass me the ball

and let me take you
over the line.

And how can you say no to that?

Sorry, love.
No back nine for you.

Arthur!

Fight! Fight! Come on!

Come on! Right here! Let's go!

Me and my lady
managed to escape.

She's waiting just
outside of town.

You got a lady?

Fuck, dude, bring her
to the party.

She down to clown?

What?

No way. I came to get
you out of here.

Why would I want to do that?

They made me their king.

Easy, dude.
You got to keep it tight.

I got a high metabolism.

And I haven't eaten in weeks.

Food's great, though, right?

Can't remember the last time
I ate nonsynthetic fruit.

Here they bring it
by the bucket.

Whatever I want.

I can see why you
don't want to leave.

I know, right?

Riding around cracking heads,
banging hotties

like it's my job.

Here, try this ipa.

My own craft brew. Super hoppy.

Cheers.

Gnarly eyeball you got there.

What'd they do to you, anyway?

Held me in a dark room
for weeks.

Did things to me...

Things I won't ever forget.

I was a prisoner, man.

A fuckin' lab rat.

They fisted me, man.

Hey, man...

What the fuck?

Sorry, that's...

You're here now.

That's all that matters.

Only thing kept me going
was you.

Knowing you were out here,
fighting the good fight...

Bringing down heart.

Like I said, that was then,
this is now.

You're safe, brother.
Let's keep it light, yeah?

I mean, look at this place.

It's paradise.

You ever seen me happier
than I am right now?

What happened to the good cop?

He took the costume off
and stopped pretending.

Sure about that?

What, this? Sweet jacket?

See, this is me.

The real me.

I'm finally okay with that.

Turns out being bad...

Ain't all that bad.

You should try it.

In fact, it's pretty
fucking great.

I'm not the only one
who feels that way.

I got a whole kingdom
of followers

who just love the smell
of my shit.

Champagne?

The board game

are proud to present

the primo memorial tribute reel.

Look again.

These people don't love you.

They're not here to honor you.

Dude...

They're gonna kill you.

I am never gonna stop, grace.

Not until everything
you love is gone!

Let's go!

Shit.

We may have started
at a primo party,

but it sure as hell
isn't gonna end here.

We have something here for you.

What's with the camera?

We're from heart's
"protégé pilot program."

We're technically
grad students, but...

that was rhetorical, asshole.

You've impressed us.

You're deadly and crazy.

We think you have a future
here at heart enterprises.

I faked my death at majora
to get away from the lesbos.

Plus, you're not really my type.

We've got two femme fatales
for the price of one.

What do you mean, two?

Your sister, grace...

She'll be racing in
this year's blood drive.

You ask me, she's a star.

First she dumps me
in a madhouse,

then she runs off to join
some stupid race?

Put me in the race.

I'll run her ass
right off the road.

Our drivers have already
been finalized.

But your sadistic tendencies

do suit you for
the management track.

We have an opening for you

at heart entertainment.

I don't want your shitty job.

Let me off at the next stop.

Imagine getting out from
under grace's shadow.

You could mindfuck her
to pieces.

She wouldn't even
know it was you.

I'll do it one condition:

I get to kill this motherfucker.

What?

Who, me? Wait, wh... no.

Who's got the goddamn jacket?
Me!

Who's on the 50foot poster? Me!

I'm the fuckin' primo!

They've designed the whole
night around killing you.

Listen, our only option

is to burn rubber
before it's too late.

It doesn't make any sense.

No, I'm the blood drive.
They need me!

You sure it isn't
the other way around?

Meaning what?

This crowd's got
you brainwashed,

thinking you're
some kind of god.

But it's just to keep you
comfortable enough

so they can take you out.

What are you gonna do?

Kill the puppet master.

When slink is dead,
this party is mine.

I'll own it all.

Arthur, we need
to leave the state.

Hell, we need to leave
the planet!

You always said I need
to collect some more teeth.

How about I bring you
a whole goddamn head?

Get the fuck out of my face.

Slink!

Arthur. Look, it's not safe.

I know it sounds crazy,
but they're trying to kill you.

You're late to the party.
He already knows.

- Stop.
- Not now.

I have to kill slink.

Kill slink?

- Aren't you...
- His partner.

His real partner.

Look, we've beaten
that guy to a pulp.

We stabbed him.
We set him on fire.

He didn't even feel a thing.

I wasn't primo then.

Can I have your autograph?

- The fuck off me.
- Arthur, this is bullshit.

It doesn't mean anything.
It's just a fucking jacket.

Please... let's go.

Get the fuck out of my way.

Slink!

That dickless freak isn't
even human, Arthur.

And he's not an idiot.

Okay, whatever you have planned,

it's not gonna work.

We'll see about that.

Slink, show yourself!

Slink! Slink! Slink!

Slink! Slink! Slink!

Slink! Slink!

Pestilent peons and peddlers
of pain...

Arthur, don't.

Pitiful parasites who
prize the profane...

Pederasts and pansies...

Arthur, this is exactly
what he wants.

- Please welcome your pick...
- It's a trap, goddamn it!

Your prophet, your preacher...

Your prize and your...

Pick.

Primo! Primo! Primo!

Primo! Primo! Primo!

Primo! Primo! Primo! Primo!

Primo! Primo! Primo!

I am primo!

I am but one gear
in the clockwork

that is heart enterprises.

I live only to perform
my function.

If I do not, then we do not.

And if we do not,
then time isn't told

and the world doesn't turn...

big day? You ready?

Why? What did you hear?

Nothing. Nothing at all.

Just asking if you're ready.

I'm ready. I'm gonna kill it.

For three months and 18 days,

I've worked here
at heart enterprises.

For the three months
and 18 days,

I haven't had a single stab

at getting revenge on grace.

But all that changes today,
because a junior executive spot

just opened up on the board,

and if I get it, I'll finally
have control over...

Garrett kemble?

- What's up, Kay bae?
- What are you doing here?

The boys just offered me
the open spot on the board.

What?

No, you weren't...

You didn't think you
had a chance, did you?

Awww.

I'm sorry, sweetheart,
but pink Polish don't belong

in the boardroom.

Boop.

I've always wanted
a bespoke suit.

Yeah! Yeah!

Whoa.

You actually did it.

You killed slink.

Shit yeah, I did.

Now's our chance.

Let's get the hell out of here.
Come on!

Hold on.

Slink's just the beginning.

If heart wants you dead,

then we need to bring
the fight to them.

I just came from heart.

Trust me, you can't beat them.

We need to get in the car

and disappear before
it's too late.

Running doesn't solve anything.

And how many more innocent
people do they have to corrupt?

You're primo now.

Great. Whoopdefuckin'-do.

But who I need right now
is that guy.

The guy who fell on my Camaro
and changed everything.

Okay, so how about this?

Come with me so we can get
revenge on the fuckers

who tried to kill the primo.

Doesn't matter which
side you land on.

We can't let heart survive this.

Are you with me?

Her plan is insane.

In. Sane.

You haven't been to heart.
I have.

And believe me, you don't want
to be anywhere near that place.

Which is exactly why we
have to destroy it.

Dude, you just met this chick.

She's got you all twisted up.
'Scuse me?

Listen to me, your partner...

The guy who's been by
your side for years.

I'm trying to save your ass.

Fuck you, spare parts.

You don't even know me.

You can't listen to her.

You better back off, or you're
gonna end up with matching eyes.

All right, enough!

Both of you are giving me
a fuckin' headache.

If I hadn't gotten
into the Camaro,

I wouldn't be primo.

- I owe the chick.
- The chick?

You know that happy life
you always wanted with me?

Now's the chance to make
that your reality.

Forget heart.

Be my queen and rule
this wasteland with me

as primo royalty.

You can be my queen bee

in a harem of...

Other bees.

Are you crazy, Arthur?

Am I crazy?

Every girl on earth would
kill for that offer.

You know what? Fuck you.

And fuck you, too.

Dude!

X marks the spot!

Arthur!

Did you really think

you'd be the first primo

to try and save his own skin

by killing me?

Please!

Every primo thinks
that he's special...

That he'll be the first
to break the mold

and live on.

Go on. Move.

And just like all
the other pathetic saps,

the signs were in front of you

the whole time.

The tribute...

The tribute is a sacrifice.

We didn't even have to hide it.

You...

Blinded yourself with pride.

You see...

The truth is,

in this dark and disgusting
depraved world,

no one's special.

No one survives.

No one leaves a legacy.

Not even you.

Let the primo sacrifice...

Begin!

Primo! Primo! Primo! Primo!

Primo! Primo! Primo!

Primo! Primo! Primo! Primo!

Please don't kill me.
Please don't kill me!

Say it in French.

What?

Say it in French!

Please don't kill me.

That never gets old.

Here's what's gonna happen.

You work for me now.

First order of business...

We need new board members.

Second order of business...

Get me up to speed
on the blood drive.

Those morons have a knack
for overlooking potential.

It's so weird.

People take you way more serious

when you have facial hair
and pee standing up.

You really think
that's gonna work?

It did before.

From his pathetic beginnings

on the streets of la,

we witnessed the world's
last "good cop"

descend deliciously
into darkness.

But today, he emerges
a champion.

Our greatest hero:

The primo!

You don't care about Arthur.

I think you wanted
this all along.

I think you set him up.

You think I want Arthur dead?

Why the hell would I want that?

Maybe because you want
to be the primo.

I want to be the primo as much
as I want a root canal.

I don't give a shit about
being the primo... never did.

I get that you two have
a long history together.

And I respect that.

But please get it through
your meathead skull:

I care about him, too.

And I'm not the problem here.

This is the fucking problem!

Say I believe you.

We need to think of a plan.

Whoa! I got a girlfriend.

I thought you and Arthur...

just pee on it, you moron.

We can use it to bend the bars.

Today, we honor him
with this tribute!

I don't mind the eye contact.

Yeah, you wouldn't.

In return, he gives us...

The ultimate gift:

His body.

His blood!

And his soul!

All right, robocop.

I'm gonna buy you some time

so you can go rescue Arthur
from that meat grinder

while I distract slink.

All right.

Let's go get our boy back.

No flash photography
of any kind.

Turn off your cell phones,
keep your feet off the seats,

and get ready...

To enjoy...

The show.

Now, my handsome
little imbecile...

Any last words?

I'm gonna skin you alive
and wear you for Halloween.

What I meant was,

those were your last words.

Send him off!

Byebye!

You enjoy your trip, now.

In case of a water landing,

put your head between your legs

and kiss your ass goodbye!

All right, you get out there.

I'll take care of slink.

Slink.

You don't really
want to do this.

Think about it.

Arthur's worth way more

alive than dead to you.

Go on.

Well, if you kill him now,

you put on, what,
one good spectacle?

But everyone here's already
expecting him to die.

Subvert their expectations.

Surprise them.

Dazzle them.

I'm listening.

Nobody grinds that ass but me.

On the other hand,
if the primo lives,

you can continue
the blood drive.

Think of how far you
could take that.

Stand aside.
We both know I'm not.

He's going into that
soul reclamator.

But... he doesn't have to die.

Come again, say what?

The soul reclamator!
It processes souls.

Turns it into icky green goo

that holds ten times,

100 times the energy potential
of boring old blood.

Kind of like the engine
in your Camaro.

Works the same way,
just not as well.

That's so interesting.

Thank you for mansplaining
that to me.

What the fuck does that
have to do with Arthur?

Well, if our boy has in fact
become a true primo

and purged his soul,

there'll be no soul
to reclamate.

He'll simply tumble
right through

and land on the other side
without a scratch.

Either he dies,

or becomes a soulless monster
who'll never love you.

No matter how you
slice it, I win.

You really are a piece of shit.

I know!

You all right?

That bastard's gonna pay.

Arthur, it's over.

They're never gonna stop.

We have to get out of here

before the two of them
can kill you.

The two of them?

She's been working with him
this whole time.

Probably since day one.

I know you like her.

But it doesn't change the fact
that she betrayed you.

That doesn't make any sense.

I'll prove it to you.

This eye records
everything I see.

You think I want arth...

I want Arthur to die.
I want Arthur to die.

I want to be primo as much...

I want to be primo.
I want to be primo.

There's only one primo.

Let's make sure
it stays that way.

It doesn't have to be
this way, slink.

Grace!

What the hell are you doing?

No one treats me like this.

No one!

Christopher!

A little help!

Help you what?

Usurp the primo?

Not a chance in hell.

Finish her, Arthur!

Don't do this, Arthur.

Call me primo.

Argh!

Betrayal? Dramatic irony?

How gloriously unexpected!

This is the stage!
This is the stage!

Give a wide berth!
Nobody on or off!

Nobody on or off!

I want multiple angles.

You, you!

Get me close on the primo.
Close on the primo.

You! Twoshot!

Get me a twoshot!

Tracking! Track!
Between the legs!

Thank god for improvisation.

I won't beg.

I won't make you.

It's over.

I agree.

You can kill me if you want to.

But I know who you
really are, Arthur.

You used to stand for something.

And all that shit
we went through...

It was for a reason.

It was the make the world
a better place.

This fucking race...

It got us off track.

You're not bad.

You're Arthur Bailey.

Fight for that, 'cause that's
worth fighting for.

Why won't you do it?

Finish her!

Don't be a pussy.

You weak fuck. You know what?

Cut your own balls off,
while you're at it.

You were a shitty cop.

And you're an even
shittier primo.

Now do it!

Tell me you got that.

Julian slink here.

You're canceled.

And I'm done with you.

I... Was your friend.

I... was your friend.

I... was your friend.

The fuck is that thing?

How did you know
it wasn't Christopher?

I didn't.

I wanted to believe

the things he was telling me.

I wanted to believe
I was primo...

That I was a god.

That terrifies me.

Arthur?

I almost killed you.

You're the only person in
the world I can trust.

The person I've
fallen in love with.

What about the primo?

This got me to the place that
I could kill my best friend.

No, the jacket's just a symbol.

That wasn't you.

That was heart.

This...

This just means whatever
you want it to mean.

I can live with that.

So can I.

Get the fuck out of my car.

You've been lying to us
this whole fuckin' time.

Yes, but... yes.

You spent all day
trying to kill Arthur.

- Indeed.
- And you sent Christopher

to convince me to kill grace.

Au contraire.

No, that... although it was fun
to watch... that wasn't me.

Look, here's the deal.

I'm done with their
fuckin' notes, all right?

It's time to put these
assholes out of business.

You wanna, I wanna.

What do you say we partner up?

You want to help us
destroy the company

that helps make your show?

My show's finished.

I'm done with their chain
around my neck.

Time for the wrap party, and...

It's gonna be a blast.

Got the idea from
the gentlemen's little escapade,

so I rounded up
these little puppies

for just such an emergency.

Which is?

We're a day's drive away

from their headquarters
at heart tower.

There's enough boom in this bag

to bring that company down
forever.

I'll even let you drive.

He's only fucked us over,
I don't know,

every single time.

And we've survived,
every single time.

We've been through way too much
to let them win.

First Karma, now Christopher?

Let's put those bastards
six feet under.

Every last one.

There's one thing
that still bothers me.

Who did that to Christopher?

I feel something. I feel...

Hopelessness.

Do your worst, bitch.

Is that any way to speak
to the only person

who knows you're still alive?

Person?

You don't even qualify.

Just a warning:

This might sting a little.

I... was your friend.

I... was your...

when I found out this aki unit

had Arthur Bailey's partner
hidden away down here,

I almost had her
body dismantled.

- Friend...
- But...

This little collection of hers,

it really came in handy.

Gross.

I built a new you

to send to fuck with my sister.

But it failed.

So, what are you
gonna do about it?

- Friend...
- How do you turn it off?

You know, I could always
send another copy of you

to try again.

But wouldn't it feel good...

To have his thick neck
between your hands?

Turn it off.

Turn it off!

The list of upgrades.

Christopher, think of what...

do it!

Give me all the mods.