Blindspotting (2021–2023): Season 2, Episode 1 - Planes, Trains, and Automobiles - full transcript
Ashley gets frantic as she tries to prepare the perfect birthday party for her son, Sean.
Hey, hey! What's up?
This your boy Mark Curry.
Check it out.
You won't believe what
happened last season
on Blindspotting.
Do you want me to get you a toothbrush
or a toiletries or anything?
No, I'm not going to summer
camp, baby... I'm going to jail.
At San Quentin,
if you're married,
you get to spend two whole
nights together in a house.
I now pronounce
you husband aife.
Cuddie, this is my
platonic life partner, Jacque.
Jacqueline, I see
you down there.
My burrito!
Why is he in jail?
He'll miss my birthday!
Welcome back to the ordeal.
Hey!
Oh!
Bro, what the fuck
are y'all doing?
Town business, Oakland...
You know how we do it.
Blindspotting,what?
Season two.
Ooh, yes, my guys.
Appreciate y'all, man.
! Gracias a todos!
Hey! Happy birthday, my boy.
Dad, you know Spanish?
Yeah. Of cour... No, I
don't know Spanish, man.
I learned that song
back in high school
for t a Trish's quincea era.
That's why I know
some of the words,
but that was a real
mariachi band, though.
They pretty good, right?
They all got arrested together.
It was a bank
robbery or some shit.
Anyway, hey, Mom, you got, uh...
You got Sean's birthday
present I made him?
- Yep.
- What is it?
Man, I can't tell
you that... it's a surprise.
But anyway, look, I'm running
out of minutes on this phone,
so, uh, hand the phone back
to your mom for a second.
I need to speak to her.
Love you, Dad.
Love you, my boy.
See you in two weeks for
the first family visit.
Yes, you will,
'cause, girl, when you
get here in two weeks,
we are about to...
Everybody can hear
you on speakerphone!
- Hey!
- Hi, Miles.
- What up, Miles?
- Man, I don't give a fuck.
Sean, earmuffs.
I'm about to get so far
up in them cheeks...
No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey!
Turn it down.
Turn the volume down.
Married sex... in that thing.
First of all, if
you calm down...
- I know what to do!
- Freaky lizard or some shit.
Anyway, I got to do,
like, a military crawl,
- and then you on the couch...
- Turn off the car or something.
I concur with the previously
mentioned activities,
and we will proceed
with the said itinerary
in two weeks.
I love you.
Goodbye, sir.
Ash?
All right. Uh, I love you.
What the fuck you looking at?
Y'all so nasty.
All right, everybody get out.
So the theme of this birthday
is cars, jets, and trains?
I thought he was into bugs now?
Oh, he loves bugs.
Won't shut up about 'em.
No, it's planes,
trains, and automobiles.
When did you decide this?
We, uh, talked about
it a month ago,
and he's 100% sure.
- Hey, Sean.
- Huh?
What do
you like more...
Planes, trains, or automobiles?
Ninja bugs.
What?
- Yeah, rookie.
- That's a rookie mistake.
- It's okay.
- First parents' mistakes.
You got to pivot when
you hear the word "bugs."
Whatever. I'll just
get him on board.
We-we're-e're fine.
- We've got karaoke...
- Hiya!
- Hiya!
- We have food for kids.
And we have liquor
for the adults,
and we have games!
And we even have a carousel,
and we have a steam train
reserved just for...
Just for us today!
And... and Trish is
gonna bring a pi ata!
Whoa, Ash, breathe, okay?
It's just, um...
it's his first birthday
without his dad,
and I just need everything
to go perfectly.
Hiya!
- Oh, my God.
- Sean!
Oh, God, stop!
Ah, shit. Ash, your
car just got bipped.
What?
How?
They didn't even take anything!
Oh, look
at all this glass.
- Uh-uh.
- Help! Help me!
- No, no, no!
- Nelle, you ain't gonna help?
- Oh, shit, my bad.
- No, no, no, no!
- My keys!
- Oh, damn.
♪ Foxy little
girl In Oakland ♪
♪ Something like I never
Never seen before ♪
♪ Foxy little
girl In Oakland ♪
♪ Something like I never
Never seen before ♪
♪ Whoa now ♪
♪ Foxy little
girl in Oakland ♪
♪ Like she never
Never been next door ♪
♪ Ooh, and next door ♪
♪ No, you're
Never gonna get it ♪
♪ Ow! ♪
♪ Never,
ever gonna get it ♪
♪ No, not this time ♪
♪ No, you're
Never gonna get it ♪
♪ My love ♪
♪ Never,
ever gonna get it ♪
- ♪ Ooh, bop! ♪
♪ Ooh, bop! ♪
♪ I remember how
you used to be ♪
♪ You never was So
nice, you can't fool me ♪
♪ Ooh, bop! ♪
Why don't you just go
on the merry-go-round?
Girl, hell, no. That
shit make me hella dizzy.
This way, I'm still
participating, you know?
♪ You think that you can
walk Right into her life ♪
♪ Without a good fight, oh ♪
Oh, uh, did you remember
to get the cake delivered
to the carousel
and not the house?
Yes, yes. Mama is on it, Ash.
I'ma really need you
to calm down, okay?
I'm just really
fucking stressed.
All of our parent
friends are here,
and I haven't seen a lot of
them since Miles got locked up.
I'm just bracing for
the dumb-ass questions,
like, "How are you really?"
And then they give you, like,
a gift card for groceries.
Oh, yeah.
- Who are you texting... Earl?
- Humor.
Comedy you do.
I don't talk to
that motherfucker.
Shit, he only text me, what,
twice since he got out?
- Why? You talk to him?
- No.
I invited him.
Nancy gave me his new address,
but he hasn't
replied to me either.
I just know Sean would
really love to see him.
Man, fuck that nigga.
Oh, okay. How about
we both calm down?
Can I open Dad's present now?
Yes, of course, baby.
Thanks, bruh.
Your dad calls him Thizzly Bear.
It's a lion.
Yeah, well, your dad was really
proud giving him that name,
so that's what we're
gonna call him.
Okay.
Hey, Sean.
We're going on the
train. Want to come?
Oh, yeah, uh, fo' sure.
Is that a stuffy?
It's a Thizzly Bear, and his
dad made it for him in prison.
- Whoa.
- That's awesome.
Come on, let's go.
Hey, you
got him, right?
Watch him!
- Mm-hmm.
- Don't do nothing stupid.
Where is Trish with the pi ata?
Yo, you sold it?
Last pickup was at
5:00 p.m. yesterday.
- Damn.
- Where were you?
Letting a man paint
my toenails for money.
Yeah, and I was overseeing it.
You know, it ran long.
He was... he was very
methodical. Fuck, man.
Look, this is for our
nephew's birthday today.
We need that goddamn
plane pi ata.
Well, I've got a,
uh, bottle of Patron.
No.
- A lipstick?
- No.
How about this
one? Big blockhead.
- No!
- No?
- No.
- Okay.
I got big hot
tamale. You want him?
- No.
- A cute pig.
Oh, oh, this good.
Googly-eye zebra, huh?
What you think?
- No!
- No, no, no.
I-I need the plane.
I need the plane-ata.
Imposible.
I'm sorry. There is
nothing I can do.
Where's he going?
Fuck!
What are we gonna do?
'Cause t a Trish
promised a plane.
Where does that
little baby door lead?
Yo, is this how
pi atas are made?
I fucks with my people.
Yo. O rale, hombre. Qu pasa?
- Huh?
- Eh, rale.
Look!
Oh!
Fuck, yo. Did they
make this a penis?
A giant white fucking
penis? This shit has balls.
Hey! You cannot be in here!
This is only for
licensed "pi atadores."
And this one has
already been resold
to a bachelorette party.
Okay, nigga, well,
we need it back.
Ah, but it's beyond restoration.
No. No. This can be fixed.
If we make the curves of
the head more angular,
shave down these pubes,
and perform a simple
testicular surgery,
we got a pretty
convincing spaceship!
Is she a "pi atador"?
Nah, mm-mm, but mami's crafty.
Okay, okay, I need a
blowtorch, a blade,
and hella encouragement.
Come on, let's move it, people!
Vam nos, amigos.
- ! An mela!
- ! Ol!
So we not gonna hear
you was out creeping
out on my boy, right?
I got eyes everywhere, Ash.
PIs in Pittsburgh,
recon in Richmond.
Y'all still fuck each other
now that he's in prison?
Binoculars in Berkeley,
East Oakland eavesdroppers.
No time for slippin', so
keep it pimpin', Ashley.
- How are you now?
- Good. Good.
Yeah, but, like...
how are you?
There it is.
Oh, by the way, Sharita
wanted me to give you
this gift card for groceries.
From me and Kevin.
It's $22 on there.
'Cause y'all are struggling.
It has a sad face on
it. Ugh.
Hey, you want 50 bucks?
Why not?
Mm-hmm.
Hey, you
having a good time?
Ah, yes.
Gift cards for the broken woman.
Ashley, you're
smoking back-to-back?
Rainey, you got your
own rules. I got mine.
Okay. Okay.
I got it.
Having your man in prison sucks.
It's about to suck less, right?
Weekend visitation
starting in two weeks.
Thirteen days.
Thank you so much for all
the endless phone calls
and paperwork, Rainey.
- Sean's gonna love it.
- Mm.
Hey, I wanted to
float an idea by you.
After you and Sean do
this first weekend,
I thought maybe I
would take the next one
just to get a little
time with Miles.
Oh, uh, I didn't know
you were expecting that.
I think it's only
for married couples.
Well, it's for family.
So I checked, and I
could go with Sean,
technically, if you don't go.
Well, we only get one
visit every three months,
but maybe you can come
with us next time?
Yeah, I was just hoping for
a little bit of my own time
with my son.
Really catching me off guard
with this shit, Rainey.
Oh, I-I know you need your time,
but I just figured,
I helped set it up...
Wait, was this your plan?
To get me to set up
weekend visitations,
because only wives can do it
and then hold it over our heads?
I'm not scheming on you, Ashley.
I just think I helped,
and I'd like some
time with my son.
Okay.
Can we talk about this later?
It's my son's birthday.
Later, okay?
Oh, my God, what a bitch.
You've been on the
trains before, right, Sean?
My dad used to
bring me here a lot.
His daddy in San Quentin.
That nigga wouldn't
sing on somebody.
- Ooh, shit, he a real one.
- Damn, what's that like?
Your pops in there
doing a bid-bid?
Five years.
He said he was gonna sing,
but he doesn't
know all the words.
Hey, he dropping gems.
That's a whole bar.
My uncle Collin did time, too,
and my friend Earl.
He did a year and then went
back and did six months.
My nigga, your whole
family with the shits?
Yep, lots of shits.
Who wants to sit in the back?
We not finna ride.
We finna smoke.
Hey, go ride the train, though.
We'll be here when you get back.
Okay.
Hello, young man.
You riding the train?
Got any money? Ha.
Just kidding with you.
I want you stay on the train.
No getting off the train.
If the train slows down,
I want you to speed up.
Keep your feet in.
If you see a giraffe,
don't feed him.
Take any seat you
like, all right?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Say "all aboard."
- All aboard.
Let's
go! All aboard!
We got a customer!
You could've sat in the front.
♪ N-n-niggas think they
slick But I'm game, though ♪
♪ Fuck that nigga, make
him do Just what I say so ♪
♪ Hey, you were that bitch ♪
♪ We gave her back
'Cause she a lame ho ♪
♪ Hey, she on the block Ran
it up like it's apparel ♪
♪ Sorry, it's just
lyin' Got the stick ♪
♪ I apologize, I ain't
mean To take your bitch ♪
♪ You can take the money
Spend it all and then I gig ♪
♪ Have 'em shut it
down I need it all ♪
He can't even sneak
a bug song in?
Not even "La Cucaracha"?
Yo, who the fuck
are you texting?
Yo, why are you on
me so hard, okay?
I'm over here just chi...
Oh, look, your brother made it.
Oh, absolutely not.
- Ashley, are you okay...
- Not right now, Rainey.
I just want to say happy
birthday to my nephew.
No, you fucked all that up.
Ash, come on, I just want
to give him this present.
Who even told you we were here?
Get back in your car,
and fuck off now
before he sees you!
- Ash, come on...
- I said leave!
Now!
- Uh-oh.
- She's terrifying.
Miles and Ashley have that
similar "grr," you know?
Here she comes.
Cake is here.
Oh, great.
- Uh-oh.
- Fuck, Nancy.
It's supposed to be a scraper
cake... a car with big rims.
This is a skater cake.
It's supposed to... Fuck!
I told them scraper cake.
Don't you bark at me.
- It's still transportation.
- It's fine.
Every... everything is fine.
Thank you.
Okay, what the fuck
was that all about?
Nothing, okay? Nothing.
How the fuck did he
know where we were?
Well, I mean, he hit
me for the address.
He's your brother, Ash!
Oh, Janelle, don't tell him
shit about my life, okay?
Ever! And the cake is wrong!
What the fuck?
Hey, guys!
Where's my son?
Hey, what's going on?
Hello?
Hello?
Anybody out there?
What are we gonna do, Thizzly?
How many tickles does it take
to make an octopus giggle?
I don't know.
Ten tickles!
Hey, get over here!
Are you high right
now? Look at me!
Hey, Ashley, chill!
Your kids went to get high
in the woods and lost my son.
Y'all lucky I don't
kill their asses.
Has anyone seen Sean?
Ugh!
Man, what...
Hey, this one out here go out
to a very, very special
ladybug. Y'all feel...
- Give me that. Move.
- Shit, nigga. Damn.
Sean!
Shit. No, fuck it.
Sean?
Has anyone seen Sean?
Hey, sing Doja Cat.
I'm not singing. It's
the stupid Auto-Tune.
Y'all, I need your help.
Those high-ass kids
over there lost my son,
and I need y'all to
help me find him.
Stop accusing my kids.
They're all high, Craig!
Okay, okay, everybody, let's
just all gather round, okay?
And we figure out
what the fuck happened
to baby boy, all right?
I don't need you to
be nice cop right now.
They are not supposed to be high
losing kids that
they agreed to watch!
He's probably on
the train, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Sean!
Oh, oh, oh, there he is.
Baby! Oh, my God.
I thought I lost you, baby.
Mom, you've really
got to cool out.
Yeah, yeah. Okay,
it's fine.
We found Sean, the birthday boy.
Okay, go to Janelle,
by the carousel,
nowhere else.
Oh, Trish!
What the hell is that?
Did someone order a plane-ata?
That is not a plane.
Uh, technically, a rocket
ship becomes a spaceship,
then eventually becomes
a plane on its way back.
- Okay, whatever the fuck.
- So...
All right, guys! It's
time to do the pi ata!
Everything is okay!
All right, everyone!
Let's give a round of
applause for the birthday boy!
Yay, pi ata!
Trish, can you
hang up this pi ata
before these parents
eat me alive, please?
I don't... I don't
got no string.
Trish, how do you not have
anything for the pi ata?
What the fuck are
we supposed to do?
- She about to lose it.
- I'm fine!
Hey, baby.
Y'all need string?
Hey babe, what are
you doing here?
Oh!
You know, I'm here with B-K-E-O.
The Black Kite
Enthusiasts of Oakland.
- Oh.
- I can fly!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Run it out. Run it out.
We just some kite niggas
blowing in the wind.
Yeah.
- Hello, Eric.
- Oh, what up, Trish?
Hey, but check me out.
I always keep an extra spool,
in case shit get loose.
Let me throw a little nautical
knot on y'all Enterprise,
put that thing in orbit.
You're our hero.
Okay, great.
Let's do this!
Fucking Cuddie.
Hell, no.
Put them balls back.
Don't put that in your mouth.
What the fuck, Ashley?
Welcome back to the ordeal.
Nine months later, we live
in splintered fictions.
Motherfuckers got me twisted,
and I'm seconds
from splitting wigs,
just wishing I could
find my center.
Mommin' us through
this frigid winter.
Yeah, we daunted by
this wicked weather.
Trauma at the spine. Like
a gun, I'm fully cocked.
We got five to run.
Barely survived one,
and I'm in it thick as thieves
with this coven
runnin' reckless.
And I fear the mess is swarming
like a storm that's
bound to come.
Pretty good haul, huh, kid?
Did you have a good birthday?
Yo, turning seven is crazy,
and I'm with the shits now.
Oh, okay.
Well, uh, we'll deal
with that tomorrow.
Wait, wait, wait, this
is all for one child?
Can we clear the
air about earlier?
I think we can have a simple
conversation. You and I can...
Rainey, I have not been
with him in nine months.
Can you just back off?
Sure.
I will back off.
I'd like to leave
you with a thought.
Must you?
I must.
Things are tough. I get that.
You're not the first mom to mom
through some bullshit, Ashley.
Everybody supports you.
Everybody feels for you,
but everybody might not
want to be around you
if you keep this up.
For Sean, for my sake,
you could stand to
be a little less mean
and a little more fun.
I'm fun!
You think you're fun?
Oh, my God.
Earl.
Uh, come in. Come in.
Earl!
Hey, what's up,
bud? Happy birthday.
We missed you, man.
Wait. Why didn't you come
to my birthday party?
Oh, uh...
I just been working
through some stuff,
but, look, I got you a present,
you know what I'm saying?
Open it up. Open up,
open, open, open.
Yeah. It's for keeping bugs in.
Wow. Thanks, bruh.
What? "Bruh"?
Who you calling bruh?
You're not that
old yet.
You ain't gonna call me no bruh.
- No!
- But you can be a bruh...
- A bruh-rrito.
- No!
I will never be
somebody's burrito!
- No!
- A bruh-taco,
- a bruh-tato chip.
- Never!
I'll never be your bruh-taco!
No!
I'm fun.
Right?
♪ Airplanes,
trains And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ What's up, ma? What's
happenin', girl? ♪
♪ What's crackin' ♪
♪ DJ, play my cut
No time to waste ♪
♪ There'll be no lackin' ♪
♪ I know your kind ♪
♪ Fine, so let's cut
out All that actin' ♪
♪ Weapon concealed, steel ♪
♪ You might think
I'm pistol packin' ♪
♪ But I'm not ♪
♪ I just want you
To shake it off ♪
♪ It's getting' hot in here ♪
♪ Take off your clothes
And break me off ♪
♪ I'm not soft, hard like
Them lines I be droppin' ♪
♪ The party poppin' ♪
♪ Let me in you
hear me knockin' ♪
♪ 'Cause we... ♪
This your boy Mark Curry.
Check it out.
You won't believe what
happened last season
on Blindspotting.
Do you want me to get you a toothbrush
or a toiletries or anything?
No, I'm not going to summer
camp, baby... I'm going to jail.
At San Quentin,
if you're married,
you get to spend two whole
nights together in a house.
I now pronounce
you husband aife.
Cuddie, this is my
platonic life partner, Jacque.
Jacqueline, I see
you down there.
My burrito!
Why is he in jail?
He'll miss my birthday!
Welcome back to the ordeal.
Hey!
Oh!
Bro, what the fuck
are y'all doing?
Town business, Oakland...
You know how we do it.
Blindspotting,what?
Season two.
Ooh, yes, my guys.
Appreciate y'all, man.
! Gracias a todos!
Hey! Happy birthday, my boy.
Dad, you know Spanish?
Yeah. Of cour... No, I
don't know Spanish, man.
I learned that song
back in high school
for t a Trish's quincea era.
That's why I know
some of the words,
but that was a real
mariachi band, though.
They pretty good, right?
They all got arrested together.
It was a bank
robbery or some shit.
Anyway, hey, Mom, you got, uh...
You got Sean's birthday
present I made him?
- Yep.
- What is it?
Man, I can't tell
you that... it's a surprise.
But anyway, look, I'm running
out of minutes on this phone,
so, uh, hand the phone back
to your mom for a second.
I need to speak to her.
Love you, Dad.
Love you, my boy.
See you in two weeks for
the first family visit.
Yes, you will,
'cause, girl, when you
get here in two weeks,
we are about to...
Everybody can hear
you on speakerphone!
- Hey!
- Hi, Miles.
- What up, Miles?
- Man, I don't give a fuck.
Sean, earmuffs.
I'm about to get so far
up in them cheeks...
No, no, no. Hey, hey, hey!
Turn it down.
Turn the volume down.
Married sex... in that thing.
First of all, if
you calm down...
- I know what to do!
- Freaky lizard or some shit.
Anyway, I got to do,
like, a military crawl,
- and then you on the couch...
- Turn off the car or something.
I concur with the previously
mentioned activities,
and we will proceed
with the said itinerary
in two weeks.
I love you.
Goodbye, sir.
Ash?
All right. Uh, I love you.
What the fuck you looking at?
Y'all so nasty.
All right, everybody get out.
So the theme of this birthday
is cars, jets, and trains?
I thought he was into bugs now?
Oh, he loves bugs.
Won't shut up about 'em.
No, it's planes,
trains, and automobiles.
When did you decide this?
We, uh, talked about
it a month ago,
and he's 100% sure.
- Hey, Sean.
- Huh?
What do
you like more...
Planes, trains, or automobiles?
Ninja bugs.
What?
- Yeah, rookie.
- That's a rookie mistake.
- It's okay.
- First parents' mistakes.
You got to pivot when
you hear the word "bugs."
Whatever. I'll just
get him on board.
We-we're-e're fine.
- We've got karaoke...
- Hiya!
- Hiya!
- We have food for kids.
And we have liquor
for the adults,
and we have games!
And we even have a carousel,
and we have a steam train
reserved just for...
Just for us today!
And... and Trish is
gonna bring a pi ata!
Whoa, Ash, breathe, okay?
It's just, um...
it's his first birthday
without his dad,
and I just need everything
to go perfectly.
Hiya!
- Oh, my God.
- Sean!
Oh, God, stop!
Ah, shit. Ash, your
car just got bipped.
What?
How?
They didn't even take anything!
Oh, look
at all this glass.
- Uh-uh.
- Help! Help me!
- No, no, no!
- Nelle, you ain't gonna help?
- Oh, shit, my bad.
- No, no, no, no!
- My keys!
- Oh, damn.
♪ Foxy little
girl In Oakland ♪
♪ Something like I never
Never seen before ♪
♪ Foxy little
girl In Oakland ♪
♪ Something like I never
Never seen before ♪
♪ Whoa now ♪
♪ Foxy little
girl in Oakland ♪
♪ Like she never
Never been next door ♪
♪ Ooh, and next door ♪
♪ No, you're
Never gonna get it ♪
♪ Ow! ♪
♪ Never,
ever gonna get it ♪
♪ No, not this time ♪
♪ No, you're
Never gonna get it ♪
♪ My love ♪
♪ Never,
ever gonna get it ♪
- ♪ Ooh, bop! ♪
♪ Ooh, bop! ♪
♪ I remember how
you used to be ♪
♪ You never was So
nice, you can't fool me ♪
♪ Ooh, bop! ♪
Why don't you just go
on the merry-go-round?
Girl, hell, no. That
shit make me hella dizzy.
This way, I'm still
participating, you know?
♪ You think that you can
walk Right into her life ♪
♪ Without a good fight, oh ♪
Oh, uh, did you remember
to get the cake delivered
to the carousel
and not the house?
Yes, yes. Mama is on it, Ash.
I'ma really need you
to calm down, okay?
I'm just really
fucking stressed.
All of our parent
friends are here,
and I haven't seen a lot of
them since Miles got locked up.
I'm just bracing for
the dumb-ass questions,
like, "How are you really?"
And then they give you, like,
a gift card for groceries.
Oh, yeah.
- Who are you texting... Earl?
- Humor.
Comedy you do.
I don't talk to
that motherfucker.
Shit, he only text me, what,
twice since he got out?
- Why? You talk to him?
- No.
I invited him.
Nancy gave me his new address,
but he hasn't
replied to me either.
I just know Sean would
really love to see him.
Man, fuck that nigga.
Oh, okay. How about
we both calm down?
Can I open Dad's present now?
Yes, of course, baby.
Thanks, bruh.
Your dad calls him Thizzly Bear.
It's a lion.
Yeah, well, your dad was really
proud giving him that name,
so that's what we're
gonna call him.
Okay.
Hey, Sean.
We're going on the
train. Want to come?
Oh, yeah, uh, fo' sure.
Is that a stuffy?
It's a Thizzly Bear, and his
dad made it for him in prison.
- Whoa.
- That's awesome.
Come on, let's go.
Hey, you
got him, right?
Watch him!
- Mm-hmm.
- Don't do nothing stupid.
Where is Trish with the pi ata?
Yo, you sold it?
Last pickup was at
5:00 p.m. yesterday.
- Damn.
- Where were you?
Letting a man paint
my toenails for money.
Yeah, and I was overseeing it.
You know, it ran long.
He was... he was very
methodical. Fuck, man.
Look, this is for our
nephew's birthday today.
We need that goddamn
plane pi ata.
Well, I've got a,
uh, bottle of Patron.
No.
- A lipstick?
- No.
How about this
one? Big blockhead.
- No!
- No?
- No.
- Okay.
I got big hot
tamale. You want him?
- No.
- A cute pig.
Oh, oh, this good.
Googly-eye zebra, huh?
What you think?
- No!
- No, no, no.
I-I need the plane.
I need the plane-ata.
Imposible.
I'm sorry. There is
nothing I can do.
Where's he going?
Fuck!
What are we gonna do?
'Cause t a Trish
promised a plane.
Where does that
little baby door lead?
Yo, is this how
pi atas are made?
I fucks with my people.
Yo. O rale, hombre. Qu pasa?
- Huh?
- Eh, rale.
Look!
Oh!
Fuck, yo. Did they
make this a penis?
A giant white fucking
penis? This shit has balls.
Hey! You cannot be in here!
This is only for
licensed "pi atadores."
And this one has
already been resold
to a bachelorette party.
Okay, nigga, well,
we need it back.
Ah, but it's beyond restoration.
No. No. This can be fixed.
If we make the curves of
the head more angular,
shave down these pubes,
and perform a simple
testicular surgery,
we got a pretty
convincing spaceship!
Is she a "pi atador"?
Nah, mm-mm, but mami's crafty.
Okay, okay, I need a
blowtorch, a blade,
and hella encouragement.
Come on, let's move it, people!
Vam nos, amigos.
- ! An mela!
- ! Ol!
So we not gonna hear
you was out creeping
out on my boy, right?
I got eyes everywhere, Ash.
PIs in Pittsburgh,
recon in Richmond.
Y'all still fuck each other
now that he's in prison?
Binoculars in Berkeley,
East Oakland eavesdroppers.
No time for slippin', so
keep it pimpin', Ashley.
- How are you now?
- Good. Good.
Yeah, but, like...
how are you?
There it is.
Oh, by the way, Sharita
wanted me to give you
this gift card for groceries.
From me and Kevin.
It's $22 on there.
'Cause y'all are struggling.
It has a sad face on
it. Ugh.
Hey, you want 50 bucks?
Why not?
Mm-hmm.
Hey, you
having a good time?
Ah, yes.
Gift cards for the broken woman.
Ashley, you're
smoking back-to-back?
Rainey, you got your
own rules. I got mine.
Okay. Okay.
I got it.
Having your man in prison sucks.
It's about to suck less, right?
Weekend visitation
starting in two weeks.
Thirteen days.
Thank you so much for all
the endless phone calls
and paperwork, Rainey.
- Sean's gonna love it.
- Mm.
Hey, I wanted to
float an idea by you.
After you and Sean do
this first weekend,
I thought maybe I
would take the next one
just to get a little
time with Miles.
Oh, uh, I didn't know
you were expecting that.
I think it's only
for married couples.
Well, it's for family.
So I checked, and I
could go with Sean,
technically, if you don't go.
Well, we only get one
visit every three months,
but maybe you can come
with us next time?
Yeah, I was just hoping for
a little bit of my own time
with my son.
Really catching me off guard
with this shit, Rainey.
Oh, I-I know you need your time,
but I just figured,
I helped set it up...
Wait, was this your plan?
To get me to set up
weekend visitations,
because only wives can do it
and then hold it over our heads?
I'm not scheming on you, Ashley.
I just think I helped,
and I'd like some
time with my son.
Okay.
Can we talk about this later?
It's my son's birthday.
Later, okay?
Oh, my God, what a bitch.
You've been on the
trains before, right, Sean?
My dad used to
bring me here a lot.
His daddy in San Quentin.
That nigga wouldn't
sing on somebody.
- Ooh, shit, he a real one.
- Damn, what's that like?
Your pops in there
doing a bid-bid?
Five years.
He said he was gonna sing,
but he doesn't
know all the words.
Hey, he dropping gems.
That's a whole bar.
My uncle Collin did time, too,
and my friend Earl.
He did a year and then went
back and did six months.
My nigga, your whole
family with the shits?
Yep, lots of shits.
Who wants to sit in the back?
We not finna ride.
We finna smoke.
Hey, go ride the train, though.
We'll be here when you get back.
Okay.
Hello, young man.
You riding the train?
Got any money? Ha.
Just kidding with you.
I want you stay on the train.
No getting off the train.
If the train slows down,
I want you to speed up.
Keep your feet in.
If you see a giraffe,
don't feed him.
Take any seat you
like, all right?
- Yeah.
- All right.
- Say "all aboard."
- All aboard.
Let's
go! All aboard!
We got a customer!
You could've sat in the front.
♪ N-n-niggas think they
slick But I'm game, though ♪
♪ Fuck that nigga, make
him do Just what I say so ♪
♪ Hey, you were that bitch ♪
♪ We gave her back
'Cause she a lame ho ♪
♪ Hey, she on the block Ran
it up like it's apparel ♪
♪ Sorry, it's just
lyin' Got the stick ♪
♪ I apologize, I ain't
mean To take your bitch ♪
♪ You can take the money
Spend it all and then I gig ♪
♪ Have 'em shut it
down I need it all ♪
He can't even sneak
a bug song in?
Not even "La Cucaracha"?
Yo, who the fuck
are you texting?
Yo, why are you on
me so hard, okay?
I'm over here just chi...
Oh, look, your brother made it.
Oh, absolutely not.
- Ashley, are you okay...
- Not right now, Rainey.
I just want to say happy
birthday to my nephew.
No, you fucked all that up.
Ash, come on, I just want
to give him this present.
Who even told you we were here?
Get back in your car,
and fuck off now
before he sees you!
- Ash, come on...
- I said leave!
Now!
- Uh-oh.
- She's terrifying.
Miles and Ashley have that
similar "grr," you know?
Here she comes.
Cake is here.
Oh, great.
- Uh-oh.
- Fuck, Nancy.
It's supposed to be a scraper
cake... a car with big rims.
This is a skater cake.
It's supposed to... Fuck!
I told them scraper cake.
Don't you bark at me.
- It's still transportation.
- It's fine.
Every... everything is fine.
Thank you.
Okay, what the fuck
was that all about?
Nothing, okay? Nothing.
How the fuck did he
know where we were?
Well, I mean, he hit
me for the address.
He's your brother, Ash!
Oh, Janelle, don't tell him
shit about my life, okay?
Ever! And the cake is wrong!
What the fuck?
Hey, guys!
Where's my son?
Hey, what's going on?
Hello?
Hello?
Anybody out there?
What are we gonna do, Thizzly?
How many tickles does it take
to make an octopus giggle?
I don't know.
Ten tickles!
Hey, get over here!
Are you high right
now? Look at me!
Hey, Ashley, chill!
Your kids went to get high
in the woods and lost my son.
Y'all lucky I don't
kill their asses.
Has anyone seen Sean?
Ugh!
Man, what...
Hey, this one out here go out
to a very, very special
ladybug. Y'all feel...
- Give me that. Move.
- Shit, nigga. Damn.
Sean!
Shit. No, fuck it.
Sean?
Has anyone seen Sean?
Hey, sing Doja Cat.
I'm not singing. It's
the stupid Auto-Tune.
Y'all, I need your help.
Those high-ass kids
over there lost my son,
and I need y'all to
help me find him.
Stop accusing my kids.
They're all high, Craig!
Okay, okay, everybody, let's
just all gather round, okay?
And we figure out
what the fuck happened
to baby boy, all right?
I don't need you to
be nice cop right now.
They are not supposed to be high
losing kids that
they agreed to watch!
He's probably on
the train, right?
- Mm-hmm.
- Sean!
Oh, oh, oh, there he is.
Baby! Oh, my God.
I thought I lost you, baby.
Mom, you've really
got to cool out.
Yeah, yeah. Okay,
it's fine.
We found Sean, the birthday boy.
Okay, go to Janelle,
by the carousel,
nowhere else.
Oh, Trish!
What the hell is that?
Did someone order a plane-ata?
That is not a plane.
Uh, technically, a rocket
ship becomes a spaceship,
then eventually becomes
a plane on its way back.
- Okay, whatever the fuck.
- So...
All right, guys! It's
time to do the pi ata!
Everything is okay!
All right, everyone!
Let's give a round of
applause for the birthday boy!
Yay, pi ata!
Trish, can you
hang up this pi ata
before these parents
eat me alive, please?
I don't... I don't
got no string.
Trish, how do you not have
anything for the pi ata?
What the fuck are
we supposed to do?
- She about to lose it.
- I'm fine!
Hey, baby.
Y'all need string?
Hey babe, what are
you doing here?
Oh!
You know, I'm here with B-K-E-O.
The Black Kite
Enthusiasts of Oakland.
- Oh.
- I can fly!
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Run it out. Run it out.
We just some kite niggas
blowing in the wind.
Yeah.
- Hello, Eric.
- Oh, what up, Trish?
Hey, but check me out.
I always keep an extra spool,
in case shit get loose.
Let me throw a little nautical
knot on y'all Enterprise,
put that thing in orbit.
You're our hero.
Okay, great.
Let's do this!
Fucking Cuddie.
Hell, no.
Put them balls back.
Don't put that in your mouth.
What the fuck, Ashley?
Welcome back to the ordeal.
Nine months later, we live
in splintered fictions.
Motherfuckers got me twisted,
and I'm seconds
from splitting wigs,
just wishing I could
find my center.
Mommin' us through
this frigid winter.
Yeah, we daunted by
this wicked weather.
Trauma at the spine. Like
a gun, I'm fully cocked.
We got five to run.
Barely survived one,
and I'm in it thick as thieves
with this coven
runnin' reckless.
And I fear the mess is swarming
like a storm that's
bound to come.
Pretty good haul, huh, kid?
Did you have a good birthday?
Yo, turning seven is crazy,
and I'm with the shits now.
Oh, okay.
Well, uh, we'll deal
with that tomorrow.
Wait, wait, wait, this
is all for one child?
Can we clear the
air about earlier?
I think we can have a simple
conversation. You and I can...
Rainey, I have not been
with him in nine months.
Can you just back off?
Sure.
I will back off.
I'd like to leave
you with a thought.
Must you?
I must.
Things are tough. I get that.
You're not the first mom to mom
through some bullshit, Ashley.
Everybody supports you.
Everybody feels for you,
but everybody might not
want to be around you
if you keep this up.
For Sean, for my sake,
you could stand to
be a little less mean
and a little more fun.
I'm fun!
You think you're fun?
Oh, my God.
Earl.
Uh, come in. Come in.
Earl!
Hey, what's up,
bud? Happy birthday.
We missed you, man.
Wait. Why didn't you come
to my birthday party?
Oh, uh...
I just been working
through some stuff,
but, look, I got you a present,
you know what I'm saying?
Open it up. Open up,
open, open, open.
Yeah. It's for keeping bugs in.
Wow. Thanks, bruh.
What? "Bruh"?
Who you calling bruh?
You're not that
old yet.
You ain't gonna call me no bruh.
- No!
- But you can be a bruh...
- A bruh-rrito.
- No!
I will never be
somebody's burrito!
- No!
- A bruh-taco,
- a bruh-tato chip.
- Never!
I'll never be your bruh-taco!
No!
I'm fun.
Right?
♪ Airplanes,
trains And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ Airplanes, trains
And automobiles ♪
♪ What's up, ma? What's
happenin', girl? ♪
♪ What's crackin' ♪
♪ DJ, play my cut
No time to waste ♪
♪ There'll be no lackin' ♪
♪ I know your kind ♪
♪ Fine, so let's cut
out All that actin' ♪
♪ Weapon concealed, steel ♪
♪ You might think
I'm pistol packin' ♪
♪ But I'm not ♪
♪ I just want you
To shake it off ♪
♪ It's getting' hot in here ♪
♪ Take off your clothes
And break me off ♪
♪ I'm not soft, hard like
Them lines I be droppin' ♪
♪ The party poppin' ♪
♪ Let me in you
hear me knockin' ♪
♪ 'Cause we... ♪