Blackpool (2004–…): Season 1, Episode 1 - Episode #1.1 - full transcript

(VIVA LAS VEGAS BY ELVIS PRESLEY)

# Bright light city gonna set my soul

# Gonna set my soul on fire

# Got a whole lot of money
that's ready to burn

# So get those stakes up higher

# There's a thousand pretty women
waiting out there

# And they're all livin' devil may care

# And I'm just the devil
with love to spare

# So Viva Las Vegas

# Viva Las Vegas

# How I wish that there were more



# Than the twenty-four hours in the day

# But even if there were forty more

# I wouldn't sleep a minute away

# Oh, there's blackjack and poker
and the roulette wheel

# A fortune won and lost on every deal

# All you need is a strong heart
and a nerve of steel

# So Viva Las Vegas

# Viva Las Vegas

# Viva Las Vegas with your neon flashin'

# And your one armbandits crashin'

# All those hopes down the drain

# Viva Las Vegas turnin' day
into night-time

# Turning night into daytime

# If you see it once
you'll never be the same again



# I'm gonna keep on the run

# I'm gonna have me some fun

# If it costs me my very last dime

# If I wind up broke well

# I'll always remember
that I had a swingin' time

# I'm gonna give it everything I've got

# Lady Luck please let the dice stay hot

# Let me shoot a seven with every shot

# Viva Las Vegas

# Viva Las Vegas

# Viva

# Viva Las Vegas #

(CROWD CHEERING)

Whey-whoo!

The gaming industry
creates gambling addicts

misery and family break-up.

That's what they say, eh?

The do-gooders,
the lentil jockeys outside. Oh, yes.

They look like they really know
how to have a good time, don't they?

They look like an advert
for Cancer Research!

What do they want you to do
with your money? Put it in a bank?

A pension plan?

Now, that's just gambling
without the fun.

An amusement arcade
is the people's stock exchange.

(CROWD CHEERING)

Except we give you the chance
to win your money back.

The big boys better start looking
over their shoulders

'cause Ripley Holden
is where he belongs.

On the Promenade!

But, ladies and gentlemen,
and fellow investors...

it doesn't stop here. Oh, no.

It's gold rush time in Blackpool
and guess who's shitting gold nuggets?

(CROWD LAUGHING)

This time, next year, you'll all be back

for the opening of
the Ripley Holden Casino Hotel.

(CROWD CHEERING)

I declare this arcade open.

Let's live the dream.

All right, lads? Glad you could make it.

- Congratulations.
- Nice one.

Well, get playing.
I've put 500 notes behind the counter.

Joker Poker, Beaver Las Vegas,
Cash 'n Chips, Two in the Bush.

I had no idea
the opening would be so Beckhamesque.

Well, pass the fizz
and praise venture capital.

I don't think the investment plan's
quite as simple as you're making out.

- Come here.
- Come off it, Ripley, stop messing about.

I just wanted to see if I look
like a failure through your glasses.

I'm just saying, that's all.

I love what you're doing, but the Inland
Revenue own a good chunk of this.

I never got my bins emptied last week.
Did I phone them up for a refund?

Barry, set the one-arms to 90%.

I want to hear cash falling faster than
your wife's pants on a Saturday night.

Hello, love. Just a bit of banter,
you know.

Barry's a bit deaf, anyway.
And he's not married, so no real offence.

I've reserved the dance stage
just for you.

I'm not showing myself up on that.

Too good for a college girl, are we?
What about Weakest Link? Millionaire?

- Listen, Dad, I've got to go.
- What?

I'm meeting someone.

Is it someone I might approve
of this time?

I doubt it.

You can't just walk out.
This is our big night.

Danny. Your sister's too bright
to hang around with the likes of us.

She's a student now. Here, go on.

- You go and have a good time.
- I will.

- Not bad for a thick kid, eh?
- Not bad at all.

You know anything
about this new boyfriend of hers?

I didn't know she had a new boyfriend.

He's got to be an improvement
on that biker, hasn't he?

- Special needs meets Special Brew.
- Don't exaggerate.

Anyway, she's got to make
her own mistakes.

You mean she hasn't finished
making them yet?

Thank you so much for coming.
We really appreciate it.

Oh, hey. Space Invader.
Me and this baby go way back.

- Refill key.
- What?

Those lads there,
they're using a refill key.

Come here.

- I just hope all this is tax-deductible.
- I love this man. He never relaxes.

I took him to a lap dancing club,
he kept asking the girls for receipts.

(ALL LAUGHING HEARTILY)

Receipts.

(YOU CAN GET IT IF YOU REALLY WANT
BY JIMMY CLIFF)

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# But you must try, try and try

# Try and try

# You'll succeed at last

# Persecution you must fear

# Win or lose you've got to get
your share

# Got your mind set on a dream

# You can get it
though hard it may seem now

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# But you must try, try and try

# Try and try

# You'll succeed at last

# I know it

# Listen

# Rome was not built in a day

# Opposition will come your way

# But the harder the battle you see

# It's the sweeter the victory, now

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# But you must try, try and try

# Try and try

# You'll succeed at last

(CROWD CHEERING)

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want

# You can get it if you really want... #

Oh, bloody hell,
come on, Chantelle, party's over.

When I lock the door, that means
we're shut. Come on, sling your hook.

You sure you've got the square footage
for a casino hotel?

I have once I take out the back wall
and knock down my flats behind here.

What about planning permission?

My mate from the Enterprise Committee
left 10 minutes ago

with a pocketful of change and a hard-on.

Hey, Hallworth, you missed a great time.

I can have a good time without
mindlessly pumping money in a machine.

I'm sure you can.

Every night when you're mindlessly
pumping your right hand.

"How hard it will be for the rich man
to enter the kingdom of heaven."

It's all in the Bible.

"To all those that have,
more will be given

"and they shall have an abundance."

Read the small print, Hallworth.

You didn't think
I could speak Bible, did you?

Where'd you learn that stuff?

Oh, I used to know a man
who thought he were God.

Busy shift?

That caller Dave was on again,
asking if we'd help with the decorating.

Really? When I talked to him,
he hadn't settled on a wallpaper.

Well, he's going with Anaglypta.

(CHUCKLES)

A teenager with a drug problem,
a lady looking after her sick dad...

This widow, Joan...

in her fifties, her husband died
a few months back in a car crash.

And she said the one thing
that kept her going

was that he told her he loved her
every day.

Every day. Can you imagine that?

- Was she very distraught?
- She was fine. I was in floods of tears.

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

Hello, Samaritans, can I help you?

(LESSONS IN LOVE BY LEVEL 42)

Hey, didn't you give me a blow job
round the back last week?

- In your dreams.
- Sorry, coming through.

Come to think of it,
maybe it was your mother.

Get some manners, gay boy!

You really are dead set on ruining
my evening, aren't you, blondie?

- Lucky me.
- Piss off and spend your winnings.

The last money you get out of
my arcade, sunshine. Go on.

- Piss off!
- Skip away like a good little girl.

What? Any time. Any time!

(PEOPLE CHATTERING)

Fuck off!

(COME ON EILEEN BY
DEXY'S MIDNIGHT RUNNERS)

We'd have pulled there
if you'd settled for the ugly one.

Why is it always me
that has to jump on the grenade?

- Wipe your feet.
- Listen to Trust House Forte here.

(MEN LAUGHING)

You've done a great job here, Terry.

No more cleaning up stag night puke for
me. I've gone for the classier markets.

- The high-rollers and the gays.
- Very sensible.

Well, it'll take more than
a fancy bathroom in your basement

to turn this place into Caesar's Palace.

He's maximising his space. You could
learn something from this man.

Yeah, it all looks a bit pricey to me.

What people want
is a full English breakfast...

and a bathroom experience
that they'll never forget.

They'll keep coming back for years.

Dual-headed mixer taps
with built-in water softener

and the real joy...

the toilet is concealed

by a mock-Japanese sliding screen.

Fully functional, classy.

All right, Terry, it's only a bathroom,
I don't want to shag it.

(DOORBELL RINGS)

- That'll be the takeaway.
- Great, I'm starving.

- What did you order? Chinese or Italian?
- A bit of everything.

All right, girls.

Which one of you
is going to be the lucky one tonight?

(BLUESY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Hey, mate. Drop me here. Just here.

Thank you, mate.

Yes!

- What you doing at college today, love?
- You know, stuff.

No, I don't know.
Would you care to tell me?

Why don't you go first?

I guess, hairdressers in the morning,
followed by a shift at the Oxfam shop.

- Or is it Italian for beginners today?
- Don't exaggerate.

No, go on, tell me, because I can't
remember which hobby it is right now.

I'm doing a shift at Samaritans
and it's not a hobby.

(NATALIE) You look like shit.

Yes, well, I've been up all night.
What's your excuse?

Sarcasm before 8:00. Is that a record?

It was a lovely do, Dad.
I'm sorry I couldn't stay longer.

That's all right, sweetheart.
I just hope he was worth it.

There you go, love.

- I know that look. What's he like?
- What's that supposed to mean?

Well, you know. Is he like
your other boyfriends or is he human?

And you wonder why
I never bring anyone home?

What is he, eh?
One of the other students?

Against global capitalism right up
until he gets his first tax demand?

- No, he's not another student.
- Bring him home. I'd like to meet him.

- Do you mean that?
- Yes, of course I mean it.

He's important to you,
so he's important to me and your mother.

- We'd love to meet him.
- And you won't scowl at him?

Don't go asking for miracles.

Everyone outside this house
thinks I'm a very friendly guy.

Yes, that's only because
you're making them their fortunes.

Here, is that a black eye
or are you wearing eyeliner these days?

- Ripley.
- I'm just knackered.

There you are, you see, he doesn't bend
over, he's just hung over.

I've got to go.

- Nice one, Ripley.
- What?

Dad can't help being prehistoric.
It's part of his charm.

Thank you.

(RIPLEY) See the guy
with the pencil moustache?

That's your Pythagoras.
He has a science to his play.

I'd do her, wouldn't you?

Well, if I'd had a drink, maybe.
Yeah, look at him.

Memorises the reels, counts the nudges,

listens to the drop of the coin
to see if the machine's backing or not.

If the machine's dropping coins
down the back, it means it's full and

- if it's full, it's more likely to pay out.
- Is that true?

No, not really.
But that's the market economy, isn't it?

If we admitted it were all down to luck,
we'd pay bankers the same as binmen.

And like, if she had the questions,
but you got the answer right

then you got to say what she did next.

You've really thought this through,
haven't you?

The Inland Revenue
aren't gonna wait for last year's tax bill.

They're gonna make a claim against...

See the skinny guy behind Pythagoras.
That's the Ghost. Every arcade has one.

They hover on the mug's shoulder,
watching how much money he puts in.

Then they step in for the kill
when he wanders off.

See him? The Priest.

He bases his game
on prayer and lucky coins.

And the lard addict on the Multiplay,
your nervous wreck.

He can't keep still for noticing every
other machine seems to be paying out.

He never commits, so he never wins.

- Yeah, fascinating as this is...
- I know my business.

You know yours.
That's how we make each other rich.

You're just gonna have to use
some of the investment capital

- we've put to one side for the expansion.
- Isn't that our money?

Hey, Terry.

Leave the financial stuff
to those that know.

Your investment's safe with this fellow.
He's tight as a witch's chuff.

If you pay your tax with our investment,
how will the expansion ever start?

All right, dickless, phase one starts here.

- Since when?
- Since now.

(RIPLEY) I had all this lined up
for tomorrow

but you lot, you have to open
your presents early, don't you?

Not exactly up to your standards,
Terry, I know.

Bloody hell, couldn't you run
to a couple of air fresheners?

Well, why bother
when I'm pulling it down anyway.

- Lf it doesn't fall down first.
- I still don't see what this proves.

I think you're forgetting
a little word called trust.

Come on, make yourself useful,
now you're here.

Who are we? The bloody repo men?

I can't involve myself in this sort of
thing. I'm a pillar of the community.

You wanted me to get a move on,
didn't you? So come on, let's get started.

I just think it's a bit off you paying your
private tax bill with company money.

I've led you two to a pot of gold
and all you can do is piss in it.

He's not wrong. We're shareholders.

- We should have a say in how it's spent.
- So you want the scheme to go tits up

because I've got a pain
in the cash flow? Fine.

- No, obviously, we don't want that.
- Come on, then.

I'll go and arrange for the transfer
of funds to your personal account.

You won't be moaning when you've got
"No Vacancies" up all the year round.

Then it will be,
"Thank you, Ripley Holden

"for dragging Blackpool
out of the Dark Ages."

I'm driving the economic recovery round
here, so cut me some slack, would you?

- What's going on?
- You've been evicted.

What for?

Drug taking, noise,
being ugly without a licence. Who knows?

The law's supposed to be a mystery.
That's why judges wear wigs.

You know,
Vegas gets 30 million visitors a year.

The punters piss in paper cups
by the machines

because they're terrified
of missing the jackpot.

That's the type of customer commitment
I'm after.

What are you doing?

Could you put some beer in the fridge?
He might be a beer man.

Who might be?

Shyanne's new boyfriend.
She's bringing him over tonight.

Since when?

You said you wanted to meet him
and she took you at your word.

When are you going to bring a girl home?
Give me something to look at.

Going anywhere nice tonight, love?

Hey, answer your mother's question.

I don't know. Maybe Romeo's.

Romeo's? Weren't you there last night?
Why does it always have to be clubs?

I was in Romeo's last night.
I didn't see you there.

It's a big club.

You and the lads were in Romeo's?
Isn't there an age limit?

I've got to go. I said I'd be somewhere.

What makes that lad tick?

He's just going through a sensitive stage.

Oh, right, and there was me thinking
he was a mardy arse.

What?

Your face.

(RIPLEY SIGHS)

If this one's got tattoos,
he can keep walking.

He won't have tattoos. She said
he was more mature than the others.

Yeah, well, I live in hope.

(DOOR OPENS)

Mum. Dad.

This is Steve.

Hi.

So what do you do for a living, Steve?

I work in the theatre.

- Would we have seen you in anything?
- I doubt it. I'm the manager.

- Which theatre's that, then?
- The Theatre Royal.

Never been there.

Now if you'd said Legends

there's a bloke down there
the absolute image of Shakin' Stevens.

Really, and who's he supposed to be?

(LAUGHS NERVOUSLY)

Well, The Royal.
That must be quite a big responsibility.

Is that where The Krankies
did panto this year?

I've not been there that long.
I'm planning big changes.

Yeah, he's put in for lottery funding.

You'd better get in line
behind all those lesbian refugees.

- Dad.
- No, I believe in people paying their way.

I organise charity events myself,
but I make sure

the money goes
to bona fide handicapped.

Let's face it.

These days you have a nosebleed
and you get a disabled parking space.

So how did you get
into something like that, Steve?

I've always loved the theatre

but I knew I couldn't act,
so this is the next best thing.

Well, my tip to you is, give people
what they want and they'll come.

That rules out my play
about lesbian refugees, then.

(STEVE AND SHYANNE CHUCKLE)

That's funny, Steve.

Maybe you should have been
on the stage after all.

Actually, we've got to go.

Yeah, well, already?

Yeah. Well, we've got that thing,
haven't we, Steve?

Yes, yes.

- Nice to meet you.
- And you.

- Goodbye.
- Bye-bye.

Is she doing this to punish us?
Is that what she's up to?

Maybe she likes him.
Has that occurred to you?

That's what all child molesters say.

Look, I don't like it any more
than you do, but Shyanne is nearly 20.

Exactly. And he's my age. I can't
believe you're taking this so calmly.

If this wasn't your daughter,
you'd be patting him on the back.

So I'm a hypocrite.
Is there a law against that, too?

You keep ranting and raving and
you'll make it seem rebellious and sexy.

What, so we just do nothing?

I don't want a repeat
of the motorbike incident.

Yeah, okay.

- Okay, you're probably right.
- Yeah, well, I usually am.

What?

- Nothing.
- What is it?

- I think I drank a bit too much last night.
- Do you want to talk about it?

Do I look like Richard Madeley?

No, come on.

(SHE'S NOT YOU BY ELVIS PRESLEY)

# Her hair is soft
and her eyes are oh so blue

# She's all the things a girl should be

# But she's not you

# She knows just how to make me laugh
when I feel blue

# She's everything a man could want

# But she's not you

# And when we're dancing

# It almost feels the same

# I've got to stop myself
from whispering your name

# She even kisses me
like you used to do

# And it's just breaking my heart
'cause she's not you

# And it's just breaking my heart
'cause she's not you #

(NATALIE SIGHS)

(BOTH PANTING)

(FAST-PACED INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Ripley. Hello.

What are you doing here?
I didn't hear you come in.

And you never will.

The old kung fu shuffle.

I see you've got Tony Vialli,

the world's greatest accordion player
coming next month.

Yeah, we do Golden Variety
for the pensioners mid-week.

But like I say, it's my intention
to shake things up a bit.

Listen to Andrew Lloyd Webber here.

I realise it might sound funny to you.

If you weren't going out
with my daughter, it might sound funny.

But there's something
about the thought of you near her

that makes me lose my sense of humour.

Shyanne's a wonderful woman.
She's turned my life around.

Don't use my daughter
to make you feel better about yourself.

- I don't think that's how Shyanne sees it.
- Steve.

I'm a man of the world.

I know it's nice to feel flesh
with a bit of spring in it

but society has taboos for a reason.

And that reason is so saggy-arsed
old burn-outs like you

don't get their hands on a wet dream
like my daughter.

I know this must be hard to accept.

What I find hard to accept is you sit
pretending you don't know who I am.

- I don't know you.
- South Shore Secondary Modern.

1970-77, right?

Yeah. You were there, too?
We were at the same school?

Now you're poking my daughter.

I'm trying not to break a rib
laughing at the coincidence.

- I don't remember you.
- I've changed.

I think I'd remember a name
like Ripley Holden.

I wasn't Ripley Holden then.

- Who were you?
- Someone else.

Have you got a pen?

Yeah.

(TENSE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

Now there's a name
you might remember.

What you should know is...

that Ripley Holden
is a ton more messed up than this boy.

Where've you been?

I've been standing here since 9:30
with a burning ulcer.

All right. Give me some room,
would you, Chantelle?

(BABY CRYING)

Ruth, you need a man. A good seeing-to
will do you more good than liver salts.

Oh, I thought I set this last night.

You can't buy a bastard thing
in this country.

Mr Holden?

That's right.

Detective Inspector Peter Carlisle,
North Lakes Constabulary.

That boyish looking creature
is D.C. Blythe.

I just can't get my head round this.
Why is this happening to me? Why now?

It's a full-blown mystery, sir.
That's why I'm here.

Do I know you at all?
You one of Allbright's lot?

No, I'm not local. They called me in
because they're overstretched.

Sort of like an emergency plumber,
but less well paid.

So, you found the body?

I open the door, go over to the alarm,
start putting in the code

then I notice it's not on,

and then, there he is, in all his glory.

- Do you recognise him?
- Never seen him before in my life.

- Do you want to take another look?
- Has anybody got a Rennie on them?

I have a very nervous tummy
and this has set it off.

Funnily enough. Somewhere.

I never leave home without antacids.

Keep them. I'm taking Kaolin
and Morphine on a trial basis.

No, I definitely don't know him.

Why would anybody do this? I just...

I locked up last night
and I opened up this morning.

So how did he get in here?

We're filing it as a suspicious death for
now, just to keep the paperwork in order.

Suspicious? It's miraculous.

He got through a locked door,
tripped the alarm, then killed himself.

What makes you think he killed himself?

I don't. I was making a joke.

Freud would say that your jokes revealed
a truth buried in your subconscious.

Oh, what do you know?
A copper who's read a book.

Well, if I'd read two books,
maybe I'd run an amusement arcade.

Well, I wouldn't know about that.
I run a family entertainment centre.

And I'm a crime-citizen
interface consultant.

Political correctness strikes again.

You know what?

I get Chinky lads down here all the time
and they tell me kung fu jokes.

We'll always find new insults.
Prejudice is very inventive like that.

That's right.

You know what he's done, don't you?

He's hid behind the dance stage
while I'm locking up,

tried to rob the slots,
got himself electrocuted.

- Thanks for sorting that out for us.
- He looked the type, didn't he?

You know, hair like that.

I'll do everything I can to get you
open again as soon as possible.

- What, you're closing me down?
- Just till forensics are happy.

No, I know it's a tragic loss
and everything

but I've got the biggest deal of my life
riding on this arcade.

You can read about it in here.

Thanks.

I think I know where you're coming from.

Scruffy bastard.

So, what's the arcade chap like?

- A prick.
- A guilty prick?

A prick has no conscience.
Didn't your father tell you anything?

His story seems a little unlikely.

Acquire an ID on the body, go through
the CCTV from the pubs and clubs...

talk to witnesses.

The gruelling but necessary slog that
makes our police force enviable.

- What are you going to do?
- I'll start with Ripley's wife.

I'm good with wives.

A dead man? Just there on the floor?

Dead as Southport he was. Six feet
from the kiddies rides. How sick is that?

That is awful. Who was he?

I don't know. Neither do the police.
Some deadbeat or other.

It'd be a deadbeat. That's right.

- I've had to close the arcade.
- How long for?

So what did they think?
The coppers. They got any ideas?

Have they heck!

They'll just tit around for a few days
and file it away.

Got to look like they're earning
the tax payers' shilling, haven't they?

Shyanne.

(SHYANNE SOBBING)

Love?

He's finished with me by text.

How cheap is that?

So...

no explanation or anything?

Just said it wasn't working for him.

He was sorry. That was it.

Oh, cheap bastard, eh?

I don't know what you're getting angry
about. I could tell you didn't like him.

I'll be straight. You know, I did have
a few problems about the age difference

but only because
I want what's best for you.

Well, he is.

I love him, Dad.

And don't you start telling me
I'll get over it.

Look at me.

Hey, look at me.

When I was your age, I was the loneliest
bastard on this bastard planet.

And the worst thing was people telling
me it was going to get better...

But for what it's worth, you're a
beautiful, intelligent young woman.

And the man you're gonna spend
the rest of your life with

is out there now, somewhere.

You've not even met him yet.

Isn't that something
to get excited about?

I suppose.

Steve's a bigger prick than I thought
he was to finish with you.

- You were doing well till that last bit.
- Come here.

You don't think Mum warned him off
or anything, do you?

No.

Your mum's a bit of a hothead,
but she'd never do anything like that.

So that's the last
we'll be seeing of Steve, I suppose.

Broke the poor girl's heart.

- Quite a coincidence though, isn't it?
- What's that?

You meet him, you don't like him, and
the next day he finishes with Shyanne.

Yeah, that's why it's called coincidence,
I suppose.

I didn't know you believed
in coincidence.

I run an amusement arcade.
Of course, I believe in coincidence.

How else could I look the punter
in the eye?

Yeah, well, maybe we'll leave that one
for another day.

Are you feeling horny at all?

I love it when you whisper
sweet nothings.

Is that a yes or a no?

Well, a little more effort might be nice.

You know, something a bit romantic.

- Do you want to talk about it?
- Piss off, Ripley.

Now who's being romantic?

(SLOT MACHINES HUMMING)

(SLOT MACHINES BEEPING)

(ELECTRONIC VOICE)
Whole lotta shakin'goin' on.

Oh, boy!

(BLYTHE) Ripley Holden used to own
three arcades off Promenade

but he sold them all 6 months ago to bid
for this Promenade site when it came up.

- He's got a lot riding on it.
- He's a great salesman.

Says who?

It's what I've been getting
from everybody I've spoken to.

He believes in family, money
and Blackpool. Not always in that order.

What about the family?
What did you get on them?

Danny, the son, goes to a private school

but the local police think
he might be dabbling in soft drugs.

Well, who didn't at his age?

The daughter, Shyanne,
goes to college locally.

And Natalie Holden
is the perfect trophy wife.

Combines public appearances with
dedicated housewife and charity work.

And she scrubs up nicely by all accounts.

- I wouldn't know.
- I'll report back to you once I've met her.

The question is,
what's she doing with Ripley Holden?

Oh, Blythe, one day you'll fall in love

and you'll find out that the heart
is a complicated and capricious organ.

Right. Back to the arcade then, is it?

Yeah. For me, I'm gonna get a list
of key holders off Ripley Holden.

What, on your own?

Ripley and I already have
a breathless repartee.

I wouldn't want you coming between us.

There's your problem.

Great. Romanian.

Went on holiday there once.

Cigarettes and coffee.
That's the only currency they believe in.

It's some sort of foreign coin.

Yes, thank you, Hugh Scully!

Inspector Carlisle.

- Have you come to give me my arcade?
- No, not quite.

I was wondering
if you could give me a list

of anybody who has access
to keys to this place.

Hang on a minute.

You don't think my staff have anything
to do with this, do you?

Have you checked
whether he was electrocuted yet?

We did. And he wasn't.

The early signs are that he'd been dead
for a day or so before you found him.

So he were dumped here?

Well, you see, I attract a lot of jealousy.

Because we don't like success
in this country, do we?

So I'd start with the anti-gambling mob
and the other arcade owners.

But not my staff. No way. They love
working here. They're like family.

In a good way or a Fred West way?

The Bar X.

A design classic.
You know, graphics, fun themes.

High-low rollers can come and go
but this beauty...

Nothing hidden.

That's right.
And a simpleton could enjoy it.

Clearly.

- Do you want a go?
- I'm busy.

Go on. Have a go. On me.

And if I were you,
I'd try that machine two along.

Who knows?
You might have a bit of beginner's luck.

The list of the key holders?

No point. You won't be working
on this much longer.

Why? Are you ready to confess already?

Does the name
Jim Allbright mean anything to you?

No. Why, should it?

See, what you're not getting
is I'm somebody around here.

Which makes me, what? Nobody?

(SCOFFS)

Don't flatter yourself, cock,
you're not even that.

Ruth, we'll be open tomorrow.

So get Maureen to set the cafe up
and you have a bath tonight.

See you later.

It's not as easy as you think, Ripley.
It's complicated.

What's complicated? You're the big
cheese. Give him the red card.

He's from outside the town.
He's been sent across from Kendal.

It's his case now.
So he's not under my jurisdiction.

Which leaves you as what?
Deputy Chief Inspector of Donkey Shit?

What is it he's done
to upset you exactly?

He thinks me and my staff have got
something to do with that lad's death.

You might not care about that

but you should care that he's shut
the arcade and he's keeping it shut.

Which means nobody makes any money.
Not me. Not you. Not anybody.

Look, this Carlisle bloke is just
a shit copper with an ego problem.

It's the same with anybody
we bring in for the overflow cases.

He'll have only ever done small town
crime so he'll be excited for a few days.

You won't have to put up with him
for too long.

Is that the best you can do?

All right. I'll have a word. Mark his card.

I'm touched our friendship
means so much to you.

Don't be like that.

And I want that sunbed back.

(PEOPLE SCREAMING)

(SLOW JAZZY INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC)

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

Hi.

Can I help you?

I think I'm beyond help.

I'm sorry, I thought you rang the bell.

Yeah, I did. I did.

But I'm not quite sure why.
I just saw the door and the sign.

- Just had to ring the bell.
- Exactly.

Yeah, I played a lot of knock and run
as a child. Sometimes I regress.

I see.

Okay. Well, I've got phones
to answer, so...

So, do you work here, then?

I'm a volunteer, yeah.

And you'll just talk to anyone
who comes in off the street?

Yeah. That's the general idea.

Even me?

Even you, yeah.

Listen, do you want to come inside and
we can talk about what's troubling you?

What makes you think
anything's troubling me?

Well, you don't seem to be able
to walk away.

If you did want to talk about something,
you might at least want to come inside.

Are you depressed?

Erm, not yet, but I've only been here
a couple of days.

I have a question.

I can't work out
why anyone would do this.

- Why do you say that?
- So you're not going to answer me, then?

- We're not here to talk about me.
- No, but I'd like to.

Why?

There you go again. Evasive.
You're very good at that, aren't you?

Why are you trying to trick me
into talking about myself all the time?

Come on, just tell me why you do this
and then I'll open up.

- I'm nosy.
- You're very fortunate.

Not everyone can turn their vices
into charitable works.

I hadn't really seen it like that before.

Would you like to go out
for a drink with me?

It's not possible.
It's not what I'm here for.

But if I was to bump into you
in the street and ask you out then...

what would you say?

I'd say...

"Thank you very much...

- "but I'm married."
- But not happily.

- Because you're not happy, are you?
- That's none of your business.

And that's why you do this

because if you listen to people
who are unhappier than you,

it makes the pain seem that bit easier,
doesn't it?

Doesn't it occur to you...

that there might be somebody
who wants to talk to me

- who really does need my time?
- How do you know that isn't me?

Well, I hope you got what you came for.

What?

You're just not what I'd imagined.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Can I help you?

Peter Carlisle?

Deputy Chief Inspector Jim Allbright.

What's this doing up?

He's our main suspect.

You're coming at this
a bit sideways, aren't you, son?

- I thought he found the body.
- He did.

And it turns out the victim died on the
night the arcade had its opening party.

So that rules him in, not out.

You should have come to me first.
I was at the party.

Ripley was with me all night.

Of course. You're Ripley Holden's friend.
I thought that name rang a bell.

That's right.

So what were you doing on the night
in question, as the cliche goes?

We were just out and about, you know.

- I'm going to need more than that.
- It was a lad's night out.

Am I to understand
you were pursuing romantic liaisons

with members of the opposite sex, sir?

Nothing hardcore. Just a bit of fun.

You wouldn't find a more devoted father
than Ripley Holden.

Devoted to what, exactly?

I hope you're not trying
to make a name for yourself, son.

Thanks for the alibi, Jim.

Holden seems to have borrowed money
from every businessman in town

to do the arcade up.

It's funny, he doesn't strike me
as the trustworthy type.

Come on, let's go and play the slots.

What for?

I trust you aren't questioning
my methodology, Blythe?

- I wasn't aware you had a methodology.
- You stay there, then.

Would you look at that?

Nudge? Hi-Lo? Take Feature?
Am I supposed to be this confused?

If you save your nudges,
you can get up one of the trails.

Then you get into the feature tower.

It's like a foreign language.

You're that copper, aren't you?

That's right.
You're Danny Holden, aren't you?

There. Nudge now. Middle reel.

There.

That's great. I don't have a clue how
I did it but that's great.

Mate of mine grew up in Blackpool.

This was years ago now.
Said he hated being a local.

- You know why?
- Why?

Because if it wasn't
pissed-up Geordie week,

it was pissed-up Glasgow week.

And if it wasn't Mancs,
it was the Scousers.

And they all wanted to do one thing.
Beat up the locals.

- Nothing changes.
- Yeah, I'll bet.

So, did you see this man in any fights
the other night?

No.

Are you sure?
Because we've got you and him on CCTV

going into Romeo's
within ten minutes of each other.

I didn't see him there.
I never saw him after he left this place.

He was here?

At the arcade opening night?
Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure. You could hardly
miss hair like that, could you?

Okay, Braveheart.
What do you think you're doing?

I'm just trying to ascertain
where science ends and luck begins.

You're talking to my son. He's a minor.

You don't talk to my son
without me being there, understand?

Okay. I'll just collect my winnings.

Mr Holden, just one question
and I'll be gone.

- What do you want to know?
- What's an AWP?

Amusement with Prizes. Like that
machine you've just been playing.

I see. Amusement with Prizes.

Sounds a bit like life itself, doesn't it?

And you are absolutely sure

you didn't see him here
at your opening night party?

Absolutely. You know why?

Because he wasn't here that night.
Now, are you sure of your way out?

(THESE BOOTS WERE MADE FOR WALKING
BY NANCY SINATRA)

# You keep lyin'
when you oughta be truthin'

# And you keep losin'
when you oughta not bet

# You keep samin'
when you oughta be a'changin'

# Now, what's right is right
but you ain't been right yet

# These boots are made for walking
and that's just what they'll do

# One of these days these boots
are gonna walk all over you

# You keep playin'
where you shouldn't be playin'

# And you keep thinkin'
that you'll never get burnt

# I just found me
a brand-new box of matches, yeah

# And what he knows
you ain't had time to learn

# These boots are made for walking
and that's just what they'll do

# One of these days these boots
are gonna walk all over you

# Are you ready, boots

# Start walking #

Look. The prick left two features on hold.

And he's supposed to be the smart one.

(SLOT MACHINE BEEPING)

Come on.