Black Scorpion (2001): Season 1, Episode 9 - No Sweat - full transcript
- So, judge, old boy, I
presume I'll be seeing you
at my fundraising dinner.
And can I expect a
generous contribution?
- I suppose so, Arthur, so
long as you don't cave in
to those whining feminists.
- Oh, don't you worry about me.
No skirt tells Artie worth what to do.
- How about making a
contribution to my campaign?
- Aerobicide?
- Hands in the air, old men.
- I'm not old.
- Yeah, well we'll see about that.
Drop and give me 50.
- What, are you joking, I'm the mayor.
- Bend, stretch, help him down.
And the rest of you,
50 jumping Jacks, now.
- Ooh, they're like pinatas.
- Only we don't have to
wack them with a stick.
Keep exercising, boys.
And remember, what good is your
wealth without your health?
- That was easy as pie.
- Like taking candy from a baby.
- Too many sweets will
ruin your figures, girls.
Magnetic field, up.
- Don't just stand there,
girls, make her sweat.
Good thing I went to the gym.
Okay girls, up and at them,
we got more men and more
money to muscle in on.
- Fire.
- In the light of day,
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night,
she becomes black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- Attention all available units,
aerobicide has just robbed the
everly heights gentlemen's
club, she was last seen
in a white van traveling
south on angel Avenue.
She is considered armed
and extremely dangerous.
- This is unit two niner six
two, I have spotted the suspect
and I am in pursuit.
I'm requesting immediate backup.
- Detective Walker responding.
- This is the police, pull over.
This is your final warning,
you must pull over.
- Sounds like somebody
wants to play catch.
- Whoa!
Women drivers.
- Who says I don't have balls?
- Aerobicide and her girls
aren't your typical women.
- Now, what does that mean?
- It means they're tough,
they act like men.
- You know, I've had a few experiences
with women like that myself.
- This is the third men's club
they've robbed this month.
- You mean they've done this before?
- What I think the
department could offer me
a little extra protection.
After all, I am the mayor.
- Mayor worth, we do our best
to protect every citizen.
- Well, I'm not your average citizen.
- And we're not your
personal security force.
- Who let her in here?
I want to talk to a real detective.
I want to talk to a man. - Now, look.
- Would you excuse us
for a moment, please?
- He has no right to
criticize how I do my job.
- No, he doesn't, but I do.
We'd be arresting somebody right now
if you hadn't cut me off back there.
- I didn't mean to cut you off.
- Well, you should've radioed
that you were in pursuit.
You have got to learn
to follow procedure.
- And what procedure should I follow
when I'm being insulted by the mayor?
- You keep your mouth shut
and you nod your head.
- Are you saying women should
be seen and not heard?
- No, I am saying that he is right.
With aerobicide knocking
off men's clubs,
we should've had tighter
security around this place.
- And does this place
require men to stick up
for each other?
- What, are you gonna give me
the silent treatment all day?
- Oh well, women should
be seen not heard.
- Are you coming in or aren't you?
- No, I'm waiting here.
I wouldn't want to get in the
way of your investigation.
- And breathe.
Okay, girls, that's it for
today, hit the showers.
- Uh, Ms. pain?
- You can call me, Suzy, and you are?
- Detective Rafferty, Steve
Rafferty, 21st precinct.
- Is something wrong?
- A little problem.
There's a van, athletic
supply van that's registered
in your name and it was
involved in a robbery,
armed robbery last night.
I was wondering if you
knew anything about this?
- No, you know, only
that the van was stolen.
- Really, and you didn't report it?
- Well I was going to, but.
- But what?
- Well, you see, I was afraid
because I thought that
if the thief knew that I reported
it, he would come after me
and well, I'm not very good
at standing up to men.
- It wasn't a man that stole your van.
- Looks like a pitbull on steroids.
- So you've never seen
this woman before?
- No, and I hope I never do.
- Alright, thank you, Ms. pain.
- Suzy.
- Suzy.
- Bye.
- Baby, baby?
Baby, you're blocking the screen.
- You know, the spare tires
don't belong on the furniture.
- What are you talking about,
there ain't no spare tires
on the furniture.
- Oh, no?
Just take a look at that belly.
- Oh, this?
That's just more of me to love, girl.
- Well I don't love it.
All you do is sit on
that couch all day.
You need some exercise.
- I do exercise, I lift things.
- The remote control doesn't count.
- Exercise makes me thirsty.
Why don't you go get me another beer?
- How about joining the
health club instead?
- I don't like organized
exercise, it's not good for you.
- Well, then you just get
comfortable right there
on that couch,
because that's where you're
gonna be sleeping from now on.
- Okay ladies, that's it.
- Sherry, over here, toss me a towel.
- You know, when I married my husband,
I pictured the life of the
idle class to be more idle.
- I know what you mean, I spend
at least four hours a day
at the gym trying to
look good for my man.
- Excuse me, ladies,
but I couldn't help
overhearing your conversation.
- And?
- And, well you know,
I know how you feel.
- You do?
- Absolutely, I mean, men
are free to look like hell
while we're stuck trying
to be beautiful forever.
- It's not fair.
- Doesn't it seem like it'll be forever
before you get your inheritance?
- Forever and a day.
- Well you know, there are
ways to speed up the process.
- There are?
- When you turn your man's
weakness into your strength.
- How do you do that?
- Well you know, I can let you in
on my trade secret for
let's say, a percentage.
- A percentage of what?
- Your inheritance.
- My wife threatened to
stop sleeping with me
if I didn't drop 20 pounds.
- Wow, imagine that, now keep up.
- I can't, I gotta rest.
- No resting for you right now.
- Why?
- Because you're not in shape.
- Well, I'd drop dead by
the time I get in shape.
I don't think that's what
my wife had in mind.
- Well, you can rest now, in peace.
Your wife is gonna love you.
Your body is looking so
great, keep going, yeah.
Right, go, yes!
Yeah, there you go, come
on you little silver fox.
Come on, move faster, come
on, keep going don't stop.
More, come on, do it, yes.
Harder, go, yeah!
Come on, there you go.
There you, wow, there you went.
Well.
- Over the last four nights,
four of the richest men
in everly heights have
died in their sleep.
While authorities admit the
coincidences are bizarre,
they insist they are
just that, coincidences.
- This is no coincidence.
The coroner's report
says that the bodies
could've been moved to their own beds.
- Moved, from where?
- I don't know, that's
what I have to find out.
- I can't believe this,
they've turned us down.
- The gall, how dare they?
Baby, I won't stand for it.
- Who's they?
- Yeah, baby, who's they?
- The everly heights gym.
- Oh, I don't want to
be a member anyway.
- Why did they turn you down?
- Let's see, I'm an ex-con,
she's an ex-hooker,
and we're both black.
Did I leave anything else out?
- Yeah, we don't make enough money.
- How much is enough?
- You have to be a millionaire.
- I admit it's strange that
all these millionaires
were members of the everly heights gym.
But we don't have a
case against Suzy pain
without hard evidence.
That's why one of you guys
has got to go undercover.
- Undercover as what?
- A millionaire.
- You get to keep the money?
- No, but you get to keep your jobs.
- Ah, I'm not interested.
- Me either.
- Look, I'm asking for a volunteer.
Do I have to choose a volunteer?
- Say, cap, could we vote on this?
- Fine, whatever gets the job done.
Oh, and Walker, whoever
they pick gets you
as his gold digging wife.
- Great.
- Well, okay, it's a
unanimous decision.
- Well, who is it?
No way, absolutely not.
- Come on, cap, I really don't
think any of us fit the bill
as an overweight millionaire.
But we'd be more than
happy to keep an eye
on the squad room for
you while you're gone.
- Actually, you can keep an
eye on the mayor instead.
Since you managed to squirm
out of this assignment,
that leaves you free to
work as security detail.
- Yeah but you know, cap,
with Darcy undercover,
I really don't have a partner.
- You have two.
- Well, what's the count?
- 25 million.
- That's not enough.
- Enough for what?
- To bring the men in
this city to their knees.
We're gonna need another 10.
- But where, the city
of angels is running
out of millionaires.
- I'm Patricia Carlyle at the
home of Malcolm mcenzie,
the city of angels newest millionaire.
- How did it feel to win
the $10 million jackpot?
- Good, I guess, real good.
Hi mom.
- What are you going to
do with all that money?
- Go out to dinner.
- Is that all?
- Go out to a really big dinner.
- And you've had too many big dinners.
We're gonna join a health
club, maybe get one of those
personal trainer people.
If there's anybody out there,
our number's 555-2677.
- You shouldn't give
your number on the air.
- Oops, I wasn't thinking.
- What else is new?
- Rest easy, when we're through
with your overweight husband
he'll be about $10 million lighter.
- And bend, and stretch,
and bend, and stretch.
- Congratulations Mr. and Mrs.
mcenzie on joining
everly heights most
exclusive health club.
- Oh, you have no idea how
happy I am you called us back.
- I've been wanting this big
lug to lose some weight
for a while.
- Well, unfortunately,
you're gonna have to wait
a little longer, because
our women are scheduled
to work out next.
- Well, that's okay, I'll just watch.
- Well I'm sorry, but
that's against club rules.
You know what, come
back at three o'clock,
and I'll run you through
your own routine.
- Why don't you just go
home and wait for me.
- Home?
Oh right, home.
Ah, can I have the keys?
- That is so cute, you guys
share one set of keys.
- Well, there's more than one
way to control your man.
- Isn't that the truth.
- Okay, we're not gonna let
a little rejection letter
ruin our chances of
physical fitness are we?
- That was my plan.
- Come on, you lump, get
off your rump, come on.
- Baby, no.
- Come on, come on.
Now let's start by
touching our toes, okay?
You ready? - Nope.
- One.
Two.
Oh you're doing great,
baby, how do you feel?
- Oh baby, I could do this all day.
- Oh good, come on.
Three. - Oh yeah.
- Four.
Five.
- Oh, I'm feeling it
baby, I'm feeling it.
- Six.
- And 30, wow, Ms. mcenzie,
you're in really good shape.
Were you part of an exercise program?
- Just the academy.
- The academy?
- Of fitness.
- Oh, I just never heard of it.
- It's a mostly male organization.
- Speaking of men, are
you happy with yours?
- Well, that's an awfully
personal question.
- I only ask because a
lot of the other girls
aren't happy with their husbands.
- Oh we have our problems.
- Well, I am a problem-solver.
- You know what, you'll have
to excuse me, Ms. mcenzie,
but I do have to take
care of something.
- Is everything okay?
- Everything's great.
Why don't you give me 50 jumping Jacks.
- Okay.
- She's a cop?
- Yeah, I bet her fatso husband is too.
- Well, we'd better make
them go bye-bye then.
- She's one of us, isn't she?
- Well, a cop's a cop,
even if she is a woman.
- Hi honey, I'm home.
- How was your workout?
- Oh, tiring, I had a hard
time keeping up with Suzy.
I don't envy you.
- What are you talking about?
- Oh, you gotta a private session
with her in half an hour.
- Do you think that you
could do 25 miles per hour?
- Sure, no problem.
- Great, you know what,
I'll be back in a bit.
- You're gonna just
leave me on this thing?
- I have to take care of
someone, I mean, something.
I'll be back.
- She's gone.
- This isn't that tough.
I can handle it.
What the?
- This exercycle has an extra added
incentive to help you lose weight.
If you drop below 25 miles per
hour, you'll be electrocuted.
- Oh boy.
- I hear you girls like to workout.
- Black scorpion.
- Maybe you'd like to
show me a few moves.
- Bend and stretch.
- I know those already.
- Get her.
- Bend and stretch, you're about
to become twist and shout.
Looks like it's just you
and me, aerobicide.
- Yeah, well I could
use a little exercise.
One, and two, and three.
One, two, three, and.
One, and two, and three, and.
Tired already, black scorpion?
- No, I have plenty of energy.
You're not human.
- That's right, I'm
an exercise machine.
- Let's finish her off.
- No.
- Why not?
- Because black scorpion
and I are a lot alike,
she's just a little misguided.
- So, what should we do?
- Walker's not here, I've got
prepares to make, let's go.
- Strickland.
- Captain, I don't think you're
supposed to go that fast.
- If I don't, I'll be electrocuted.
- What?
- I have to pedal at
least 25 miles per hour.
- You gotta go faster.
- I don't think I can.
You're gonna put me out of my misery?
- Hold still.
- I wish I could.
- Get ready to jump.
Keep your eyes open.
- Ooh, if my eyes open any more
they're gonna pop out of my head.
- Argyle, come on, you're supposed
to be helping me find Suzy.
- I'm not your partner.
Check that out over there.
Boy, I wish I had X-ray vision,
so I can look at that.
- Argyle, that's her.
- That's who?
- Suzy.
- That's Suzy?
Suzy's fine.
Baby, I just.
Argyle's garage is that way.
- Hey, hey, hey where are
you going with my bike?
- Ms. mcenzie, what are you doing here?
- It's detective Walker,
and you're under arrest.
- For what?
- Exercise with intent to kill.
- She has killed.
- Darce, what are you talking about?
- She's aerobicide.
- This is ridiculous.
- Well, how do you explain
the fact that your bike
nearly killed me?
- Aerobicide must've rigged it.
- Then why did you run
from me on the beach?
- I didn't know you were chasing me,
I was listening to music.
- Then we should have your ears checked
and I want her to have a full physical.
- Darcy, this poor girl
has been through enough.
- Yeah, her and me both.
- Either press charges or let me go.
- Let her go.
- Captain?
- We don't have enough evidence.
- Not yet.
- So, what's a nice girl like you doing
in a place like this?
- Artie it's me, babette.
You told me to meet you here, remember?
- Babette, I was role-playing.
- Oh.
Then, how can we role
play with him here?
- Oh, oh yeah, right.
Up and at them.
Alright boys, up and at them.
- Up against the wall.
- I'm up.
Slugger?
- Lucky for me he's in the bathroom.
- What do you think you're doing?
- I'm frisking her.
- Yeah, but why?
- That tickles.
- We're in a men's club and
she's a suspicious woman,
we're supposed to be on the alert.
- You should arrest Artie's wife,
she's been suspicious
of us for years...
- babette, shh.
Alright, let's call it a night.
- I'm not done frisking you.
- I'll take it from
here, city business.
- Hey Rafferty, where you going?
- I'm gonna go down to
O'Brien's, get a drink.
- Good idea, partner.
- What did you say?
- He said good idea.
- Partner.
- No, no, don't ever use
that word with me, please.
- Attention ladies, now
you've all paid a price
to be here today, I
know I've paid mine.
When I was a little
girl, I was told that
in order to be happy, you
had to marry a rich man,
so what did I do, I exercised.
No pain, no gain is what I told myself.
But you know, I went too far,
I destroyed all the joints
in my arms and legs to the point
where I could no longer move.
The doctors, all men
by the way, told me
that I would never walk again,
but they were wrong.
You know what I learned that day,
that what doesn't kill
us, makes us stronger.
And I know that I am
stronger than any man
in the city of angels.
They're gonna wake up with a
different kind of a hangover.
They're gonna start the
first part of their day
missing the most important
part of their masculinity,
their testosterone.
My dear sisters, the city
is ours for the taking.
And we will rule an iron fist, mine.
Sorry to interrupt.
- No, no, not you again.
- Hey, this is a men's club,
you're not supposed to be here.
- Oh, and neither are you.
- Hey, what are you
doing, what are you...
- get over here.
Here, drink this. - What?
I think I'd prefer a cuddling.
- Oh, you'll prefer this.
There you go, down the hatch, good.
How do you feel?
- Well, I feel, I feel like crying.
- Good, then it's working.
- Your presence here
is very distressing.
- Aww, maybe you should
make a distress call.
- Yeah, I think I should.
- Yeah.
- Attention all units,
we've received a distress
call from mayor worth
at the everly heights gentleman's club.
- I got your distress
call, what's wrong?
- Look what you've done to my floor.
- What?
- I just swept it.
- You can't beat me, black scorpion.
So you know, why don't
you just join me?
- I fight crime.
- So do I, it's a crime
that women have been
left out of power for so long.
- You mean this is some
kind of woman's movement?
- Oh, the men are the
ones who are moving,
out of office into the
kitchen where they belong.
Clean up the ashes, Artie.
- Work, work, work,
that's all I ever do.
- I suppose I've had my
problems with men in power,
the men in blue.
- I could use a woman with
your combat skills on my side.
- Alright, I'll join you.
- It's just not that easy,
see, first you gotta
pass a little test.
- What kind of test?
- Bring me a male cop alive.
- Drinking and driving
is bad for your health.
- So I guess a kick in
the jaw is your idea
of preventative medicine.
- Looks like I'm the designated driver.
- You've done well, black scorpion.
Now, kill him.
- Why?
- To prove your undying
loyalty to our cause.
- I didn't think you'd do it.
- Now do you believe me?
- Yes.
And you will be rewarded.
Bend, stretch, clean that up.
- Wait, I can clean up my own mess.
Wake up, prince charming.
- Just how are you going to take
all the power from the men?
- Yeah, they're not gonna
step down without a fight.
- Girls, girls, girls.
- Yes?
Oh, talking to them.
- Why do you think that
we've taken all the time
to accumulate this wealth?
- Because we're greedy.
- No, because commercial
time is expensive.
- What are we advertising?
- Extra lite, a manly beer
made exclusively for men.
A full-bodied, no calorie
beer, extra light.
Drink the liquor that gives me vigor.
- Give me this.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Drink a beer is not part
of my exercise program.
- It's okay, baby,
extra lite is no Cal.
It actually helps you get into
shape while you drink it.
And, it's only $1.50 a six-pack.
- Give me this.
- Hey Rafferty.
- Oh, look, please guys I'm
not in the mood, okay?
- We heard you got kidnapped
by black scorpion.
- Yeah, you okay?
- You know, she could've killed me.
She could've killed me but she didn't,
and I can't figure out why.
- You know, as your partners,
we should've been there
to back you up.
- From now on, wherever you go, we go.
- Whatever you do, we do.
- So, what are we gonna do?
- Well, I was just gonna sit here,
have a few drinks, contemplate.
- Bartender, can we get
three extra lites?
- Cap, you okay?
- Yeah, just my dogs are
barking after that exercycle.
- You want me to go out and get you
some of them fluffly slippers?
- Huh?
- I could give you a foot massage.
- Get away from me.
What's the matter with you two?
- Nothing, we just care about you, cap.
- You've been more
than a captain to us,
you've been like our father.
- Will you two stop acting like morons.
You've got 10 seconds
to get back to work.
One, two, three.
- God, that man could be so cold.
- Cap, it's for you.
- What do you want?
Oh, Mr. Mayor, it's you.
Yes, sir, I'm listening.
- Rafferty, late night last night?
- I went out drinking
with specs and slugger.
- You mean you hang out with
those guys on your own time?
- You know, contrary
to popular opinion,
these are two very caring,
sensitive gentlemen.
- That was the mayor on the phone.
He just relieved me of my command.
- What?
- That's awful.
- How could he do that to you?
- You think that's funny, huh guys?
Well, you won't be
laughing when you hear
who your new boss is.
- Who?
- Black scorpion.
- I am so proud of you, Arthur.
- Hey, you're not gonna
hurt me, are you?
- Of course not.
As long as you do as you're told,
I won't harm a hair on your head.
- Oh good.
- Have some more beer.
- Anything you say, aerobicide.
Or, should I call you madame mayor.
- Now, the only thing
that stands in way
are those non-beer drinking
men in power, the old fogies.
- But if they don't drink the beer,
how do we get rid of them?
- I guess we'll have to eliminate them
the old-fashioned way, exercise.
- What has gotten into him?
- I don't know, he's been
an absolute peach today.
He's been exercising,
he cooked me breakfast
and now this.
- You know something,
Steve's been acting
pretty strange lately, too.
- I'd offer you a beer, but
argyle drank them all.
Maybe that's why he's being
so sweet, he's drunk.
- You know something, Veronica,
I think you might be right.
- About what?
- I think argyle is drunk.
Can I borrow him for a little while?
- Just let him finish sweeping.
- Feeling any better?
- What I'm feeling is hungover.
Maybe, I should have another beer.
- No, not until you
find out what's in it.
- It's beer, true blue.
Yeast, alcohol, and whoa, what is this?
Extra lite contains a strange
testosterone robbing agent.
- Are you sure?
- Believe me, it hits a man
right where it counts.
And what's worse, it's addictive.
- Argyle.
- What, it's research.
- So, if men drink extra lite, then.
- We become wimps.
- That's it, that's
how aerobicide plans
to take over the city.
There's got to be some
way to stop that robot.
- Robot?
- She's not a robot
exactly, but she does have
a mechanical arm and a leg.
- A cyborg, then why didn't you say so?
If she's part machine,
she's also part computer
which means somewhere
underneath that hunk of junk
there's a control chip.
- Right, and if I can get to the chip,
- you can get to the chick.
- Thank you, judge, for
that generous contribution.
- Excuse me, Mr. Mayor, sir.
- What is it, strickland?
- Well, I don't mean to be rude, but,
are you out of your
damn mind replacing me
with black scorpion?
- There's no reason to take
that tone of voice with me.
- What's gotten into you?
I mean, everybody's such a
wussy tonight, why is that?
- Well, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have an announcement to make.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
In order for there to
be a strong mayor,
you have to have strong supporters.
And that's what I have here
tonight, strong supporters.
Now to celebrate that
strength, why don't we
cap off the evening with
a round of exercise.
Now don't be afraid of aerobicide here,
she's on my campaign.
- Alright, old men, now
get ready to sweat.
- This specially-modified
remote control
should do the trick.
- Oh no, now he's turned you
into a couch potato too.
- No, baby, I'm just showing her how
to use the remote control.
- Well, you are the expert.
- I'm Patricia Carlyle reporting live
from the everly heights
gentlemen's club
where aerobicide is attempting
some kind of workout.
- Okay, guys, follow my lead.
- Why don't you follow mine instead?
- Black scorpion, I thought
that you supported our cause.
- I don't support murder.
- Bend, stretch, show black scorpion
how we deal with traitors.
- Let's see how you do
without your towel girls.
Drop and give me 50.
- What are you doing to me?
- Giving you a dose
of your own exercise.
Remember, what good's your wealth
if you don't have your health.
Suzy.
- You see, black scorpion,
you and I are just alike.
- How do you figure that?
- My mask gave me the courage to fight
for what I believe in, just like you.
- Hiding behind a mask
doesn't give you courage,
it just gives you pain.
- No pain, no gain.
- Black scorpion, this
is your final warning.
- Slugger, why don't you run out
and get me those slippers?
- Yeah, that's gonna happen.
Get out of the way, we're
trying to play ball.
- Specs, what about that
foot massage you offered.
- Anyway.
- Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Hey, that's a run.
- I'm better than you.
- Things are definitely back to normal.
- Or at least it will be when
you and I are partners again.
- What, is that an apology that I hear?
- No, no, but this is.
I think I've been taking
you for granted lately,
and I wanted to let you know
that I value our partnership.
You're the best partner
a guy could have.
- Thank you.
- The city's gyms are safe once again
now that aerobicide was
exercised to death
by black scorpion.
- See, baby, what did I tell you?
Too much exercise could kill you.
presume I'll be seeing you
at my fundraising dinner.
And can I expect a
generous contribution?
- I suppose so, Arthur, so
long as you don't cave in
to those whining feminists.
- Oh, don't you worry about me.
No skirt tells Artie worth what to do.
- How about making a
contribution to my campaign?
- Aerobicide?
- Hands in the air, old men.
- I'm not old.
- Yeah, well we'll see about that.
Drop and give me 50.
- What, are you joking, I'm the mayor.
- Bend, stretch, help him down.
And the rest of you,
50 jumping Jacks, now.
- Ooh, they're like pinatas.
- Only we don't have to
wack them with a stick.
Keep exercising, boys.
And remember, what good is your
wealth without your health?
- That was easy as pie.
- Like taking candy from a baby.
- Too many sweets will
ruin your figures, girls.
Magnetic field, up.
- Don't just stand there,
girls, make her sweat.
Good thing I went to the gym.
Okay girls, up and at them,
we got more men and more
money to muscle in on.
- Fire.
- In the light of day,
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night,
she becomes black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- Attention all available units,
aerobicide has just robbed the
everly heights gentlemen's
club, she was last seen
in a white van traveling
south on angel Avenue.
She is considered armed
and extremely dangerous.
- This is unit two niner six
two, I have spotted the suspect
and I am in pursuit.
I'm requesting immediate backup.
- Detective Walker responding.
- This is the police, pull over.
This is your final warning,
you must pull over.
- Sounds like somebody
wants to play catch.
- Whoa!
Women drivers.
- Who says I don't have balls?
- Aerobicide and her girls
aren't your typical women.
- Now, what does that mean?
- It means they're tough,
they act like men.
- You know, I've had a few experiences
with women like that myself.
- This is the third men's club
they've robbed this month.
- You mean they've done this before?
- What I think the
department could offer me
a little extra protection.
After all, I am the mayor.
- Mayor worth, we do our best
to protect every citizen.
- Well, I'm not your average citizen.
- And we're not your
personal security force.
- Who let her in here?
I want to talk to a real detective.
I want to talk to a man. - Now, look.
- Would you excuse us
for a moment, please?
- He has no right to
criticize how I do my job.
- No, he doesn't, but I do.
We'd be arresting somebody right now
if you hadn't cut me off back there.
- I didn't mean to cut you off.
- Well, you should've radioed
that you were in pursuit.
You have got to learn
to follow procedure.
- And what procedure should I follow
when I'm being insulted by the mayor?
- You keep your mouth shut
and you nod your head.
- Are you saying women should
be seen and not heard?
- No, I am saying that he is right.
With aerobicide knocking
off men's clubs,
we should've had tighter
security around this place.
- And does this place
require men to stick up
for each other?
- What, are you gonna give me
the silent treatment all day?
- Oh well, women should
be seen not heard.
- Are you coming in or aren't you?
- No, I'm waiting here.
I wouldn't want to get in the
way of your investigation.
- And breathe.
Okay, girls, that's it for
today, hit the showers.
- Uh, Ms. pain?
- You can call me, Suzy, and you are?
- Detective Rafferty, Steve
Rafferty, 21st precinct.
- Is something wrong?
- A little problem.
There's a van, athletic
supply van that's registered
in your name and it was
involved in a robbery,
armed robbery last night.
I was wondering if you
knew anything about this?
- No, you know, only
that the van was stolen.
- Really, and you didn't report it?
- Well I was going to, but.
- But what?
- Well, you see, I was afraid
because I thought that
if the thief knew that I reported
it, he would come after me
and well, I'm not very good
at standing up to men.
- It wasn't a man that stole your van.
- Looks like a pitbull on steroids.
- So you've never seen
this woman before?
- No, and I hope I never do.
- Alright, thank you, Ms. pain.
- Suzy.
- Suzy.
- Bye.
- Baby, baby?
Baby, you're blocking the screen.
- You know, the spare tires
don't belong on the furniture.
- What are you talking about,
there ain't no spare tires
on the furniture.
- Oh, no?
Just take a look at that belly.
- Oh, this?
That's just more of me to love, girl.
- Well I don't love it.
All you do is sit on
that couch all day.
You need some exercise.
- I do exercise, I lift things.
- The remote control doesn't count.
- Exercise makes me thirsty.
Why don't you go get me another beer?
- How about joining the
health club instead?
- I don't like organized
exercise, it's not good for you.
- Well, then you just get
comfortable right there
on that couch,
because that's where you're
gonna be sleeping from now on.
- Okay ladies, that's it.
- Sherry, over here, toss me a towel.
- You know, when I married my husband,
I pictured the life of the
idle class to be more idle.
- I know what you mean, I spend
at least four hours a day
at the gym trying to
look good for my man.
- Excuse me, ladies,
but I couldn't help
overhearing your conversation.
- And?
- And, well you know,
I know how you feel.
- You do?
- Absolutely, I mean, men
are free to look like hell
while we're stuck trying
to be beautiful forever.
- It's not fair.
- Doesn't it seem like it'll be forever
before you get your inheritance?
- Forever and a day.
- Well you know, there are
ways to speed up the process.
- There are?
- When you turn your man's
weakness into your strength.
- How do you do that?
- Well you know, I can let you in
on my trade secret for
let's say, a percentage.
- A percentage of what?
- Your inheritance.
- My wife threatened to
stop sleeping with me
if I didn't drop 20 pounds.
- Wow, imagine that, now keep up.
- I can't, I gotta rest.
- No resting for you right now.
- Why?
- Because you're not in shape.
- Well, I'd drop dead by
the time I get in shape.
I don't think that's what
my wife had in mind.
- Well, you can rest now, in peace.
Your wife is gonna love you.
Your body is looking so
great, keep going, yeah.
Right, go, yes!
Yeah, there you go, come
on you little silver fox.
Come on, move faster, come
on, keep going don't stop.
More, come on, do it, yes.
Harder, go, yeah!
Come on, there you go.
There you, wow, there you went.
Well.
- Over the last four nights,
four of the richest men
in everly heights have
died in their sleep.
While authorities admit the
coincidences are bizarre,
they insist they are
just that, coincidences.
- This is no coincidence.
The coroner's report
says that the bodies
could've been moved to their own beds.
- Moved, from where?
- I don't know, that's
what I have to find out.
- I can't believe this,
they've turned us down.
- The gall, how dare they?
Baby, I won't stand for it.
- Who's they?
- Yeah, baby, who's they?
- The everly heights gym.
- Oh, I don't want to
be a member anyway.
- Why did they turn you down?
- Let's see, I'm an ex-con,
she's an ex-hooker,
and we're both black.
Did I leave anything else out?
- Yeah, we don't make enough money.
- How much is enough?
- You have to be a millionaire.
- I admit it's strange that
all these millionaires
were members of the everly heights gym.
But we don't have a
case against Suzy pain
without hard evidence.
That's why one of you guys
has got to go undercover.
- Undercover as what?
- A millionaire.
- You get to keep the money?
- No, but you get to keep your jobs.
- Ah, I'm not interested.
- Me either.
- Look, I'm asking for a volunteer.
Do I have to choose a volunteer?
- Say, cap, could we vote on this?
- Fine, whatever gets the job done.
Oh, and Walker, whoever
they pick gets you
as his gold digging wife.
- Great.
- Well, okay, it's a
unanimous decision.
- Well, who is it?
No way, absolutely not.
- Come on, cap, I really don't
think any of us fit the bill
as an overweight millionaire.
But we'd be more than
happy to keep an eye
on the squad room for
you while you're gone.
- Actually, you can keep an
eye on the mayor instead.
Since you managed to squirm
out of this assignment,
that leaves you free to
work as security detail.
- Yeah but you know, cap,
with Darcy undercover,
I really don't have a partner.
- You have two.
- Well, what's the count?
- 25 million.
- That's not enough.
- Enough for what?
- To bring the men in
this city to their knees.
We're gonna need another 10.
- But where, the city
of angels is running
out of millionaires.
- I'm Patricia Carlyle at the
home of Malcolm mcenzie,
the city of angels newest millionaire.
- How did it feel to win
the $10 million jackpot?
- Good, I guess, real good.
Hi mom.
- What are you going to
do with all that money?
- Go out to dinner.
- Is that all?
- Go out to a really big dinner.
- And you've had too many big dinners.
We're gonna join a health
club, maybe get one of those
personal trainer people.
If there's anybody out there,
our number's 555-2677.
- You shouldn't give
your number on the air.
- Oops, I wasn't thinking.
- What else is new?
- Rest easy, when we're through
with your overweight husband
he'll be about $10 million lighter.
- And bend, and stretch,
and bend, and stretch.
- Congratulations Mr. and Mrs.
mcenzie on joining
everly heights most
exclusive health club.
- Oh, you have no idea how
happy I am you called us back.
- I've been wanting this big
lug to lose some weight
for a while.
- Well, unfortunately,
you're gonna have to wait
a little longer, because
our women are scheduled
to work out next.
- Well, that's okay, I'll just watch.
- Well I'm sorry, but
that's against club rules.
You know what, come
back at three o'clock,
and I'll run you through
your own routine.
- Why don't you just go
home and wait for me.
- Home?
Oh right, home.
Ah, can I have the keys?
- That is so cute, you guys
share one set of keys.
- Well, there's more than one
way to control your man.
- Isn't that the truth.
- Okay, we're not gonna let
a little rejection letter
ruin our chances of
physical fitness are we?
- That was my plan.
- Come on, you lump, get
off your rump, come on.
- Baby, no.
- Come on, come on.
Now let's start by
touching our toes, okay?
You ready? - Nope.
- One.
Two.
Oh you're doing great,
baby, how do you feel?
- Oh baby, I could do this all day.
- Oh good, come on.
Three. - Oh yeah.
- Four.
Five.
- Oh, I'm feeling it
baby, I'm feeling it.
- Six.
- And 30, wow, Ms. mcenzie,
you're in really good shape.
Were you part of an exercise program?
- Just the academy.
- The academy?
- Of fitness.
- Oh, I just never heard of it.
- It's a mostly male organization.
- Speaking of men, are
you happy with yours?
- Well, that's an awfully
personal question.
- I only ask because a
lot of the other girls
aren't happy with their husbands.
- Oh we have our problems.
- Well, I am a problem-solver.
- You know what, you'll have
to excuse me, Ms. mcenzie,
but I do have to take
care of something.
- Is everything okay?
- Everything's great.
Why don't you give me 50 jumping Jacks.
- Okay.
- She's a cop?
- Yeah, I bet her fatso husband is too.
- Well, we'd better make
them go bye-bye then.
- She's one of us, isn't she?
- Well, a cop's a cop,
even if she is a woman.
- Hi honey, I'm home.
- How was your workout?
- Oh, tiring, I had a hard
time keeping up with Suzy.
I don't envy you.
- What are you talking about?
- Oh, you gotta a private session
with her in half an hour.
- Do you think that you
could do 25 miles per hour?
- Sure, no problem.
- Great, you know what,
I'll be back in a bit.
- You're gonna just
leave me on this thing?
- I have to take care of
someone, I mean, something.
I'll be back.
- She's gone.
- This isn't that tough.
I can handle it.
What the?
- This exercycle has an extra added
incentive to help you lose weight.
If you drop below 25 miles per
hour, you'll be electrocuted.
- Oh boy.
- I hear you girls like to workout.
- Black scorpion.
- Maybe you'd like to
show me a few moves.
- Bend and stretch.
- I know those already.
- Get her.
- Bend and stretch, you're about
to become twist and shout.
Looks like it's just you
and me, aerobicide.
- Yeah, well I could
use a little exercise.
One, and two, and three.
One, two, three, and.
One, and two, and three, and.
Tired already, black scorpion?
- No, I have plenty of energy.
You're not human.
- That's right, I'm
an exercise machine.
- Let's finish her off.
- No.
- Why not?
- Because black scorpion
and I are a lot alike,
she's just a little misguided.
- So, what should we do?
- Walker's not here, I've got
prepares to make, let's go.
- Strickland.
- Captain, I don't think you're
supposed to go that fast.
- If I don't, I'll be electrocuted.
- What?
- I have to pedal at
least 25 miles per hour.
- You gotta go faster.
- I don't think I can.
You're gonna put me out of my misery?
- Hold still.
- I wish I could.
- Get ready to jump.
Keep your eyes open.
- Ooh, if my eyes open any more
they're gonna pop out of my head.
- Argyle, come on, you're supposed
to be helping me find Suzy.
- I'm not your partner.
Check that out over there.
Boy, I wish I had X-ray vision,
so I can look at that.
- Argyle, that's her.
- That's who?
- Suzy.
- That's Suzy?
Suzy's fine.
Baby, I just.
Argyle's garage is that way.
- Hey, hey, hey where are
you going with my bike?
- Ms. mcenzie, what are you doing here?
- It's detective Walker,
and you're under arrest.
- For what?
- Exercise with intent to kill.
- She has killed.
- Darce, what are you talking about?
- She's aerobicide.
- This is ridiculous.
- Well, how do you explain
the fact that your bike
nearly killed me?
- Aerobicide must've rigged it.
- Then why did you run
from me on the beach?
- I didn't know you were chasing me,
I was listening to music.
- Then we should have your ears checked
and I want her to have a full physical.
- Darcy, this poor girl
has been through enough.
- Yeah, her and me both.
- Either press charges or let me go.
- Let her go.
- Captain?
- We don't have enough evidence.
- Not yet.
- So, what's a nice girl like you doing
in a place like this?
- Artie it's me, babette.
You told me to meet you here, remember?
- Babette, I was role-playing.
- Oh.
Then, how can we role
play with him here?
- Oh, oh yeah, right.
Up and at them.
Alright boys, up and at them.
- Up against the wall.
- I'm up.
Slugger?
- Lucky for me he's in the bathroom.
- What do you think you're doing?
- I'm frisking her.
- Yeah, but why?
- That tickles.
- We're in a men's club and
she's a suspicious woman,
we're supposed to be on the alert.
- You should arrest Artie's wife,
she's been suspicious
of us for years...
- babette, shh.
Alright, let's call it a night.
- I'm not done frisking you.
- I'll take it from
here, city business.
- Hey Rafferty, where you going?
- I'm gonna go down to
O'Brien's, get a drink.
- Good idea, partner.
- What did you say?
- He said good idea.
- Partner.
- No, no, don't ever use
that word with me, please.
- Attention ladies, now
you've all paid a price
to be here today, I
know I've paid mine.
When I was a little
girl, I was told that
in order to be happy, you
had to marry a rich man,
so what did I do, I exercised.
No pain, no gain is what I told myself.
But you know, I went too far,
I destroyed all the joints
in my arms and legs to the point
where I could no longer move.
The doctors, all men
by the way, told me
that I would never walk again,
but they were wrong.
You know what I learned that day,
that what doesn't kill
us, makes us stronger.
And I know that I am
stronger than any man
in the city of angels.
They're gonna wake up with a
different kind of a hangover.
They're gonna start the
first part of their day
missing the most important
part of their masculinity,
their testosterone.
My dear sisters, the city
is ours for the taking.
And we will rule an iron fist, mine.
Sorry to interrupt.
- No, no, not you again.
- Hey, this is a men's club,
you're not supposed to be here.
- Oh, and neither are you.
- Hey, what are you
doing, what are you...
- get over here.
Here, drink this. - What?
I think I'd prefer a cuddling.
- Oh, you'll prefer this.
There you go, down the hatch, good.
How do you feel?
- Well, I feel, I feel like crying.
- Good, then it's working.
- Your presence here
is very distressing.
- Aww, maybe you should
make a distress call.
- Yeah, I think I should.
- Yeah.
- Attention all units,
we've received a distress
call from mayor worth
at the everly heights gentleman's club.
- I got your distress
call, what's wrong?
- Look what you've done to my floor.
- What?
- I just swept it.
- You can't beat me, black scorpion.
So you know, why don't
you just join me?
- I fight crime.
- So do I, it's a crime
that women have been
left out of power for so long.
- You mean this is some
kind of woman's movement?
- Oh, the men are the
ones who are moving,
out of office into the
kitchen where they belong.
Clean up the ashes, Artie.
- Work, work, work,
that's all I ever do.
- I suppose I've had my
problems with men in power,
the men in blue.
- I could use a woman with
your combat skills on my side.
- Alright, I'll join you.
- It's just not that easy,
see, first you gotta
pass a little test.
- What kind of test?
- Bring me a male cop alive.
- Drinking and driving
is bad for your health.
- So I guess a kick in
the jaw is your idea
of preventative medicine.
- Looks like I'm the designated driver.
- You've done well, black scorpion.
Now, kill him.
- Why?
- To prove your undying
loyalty to our cause.
- I didn't think you'd do it.
- Now do you believe me?
- Yes.
And you will be rewarded.
Bend, stretch, clean that up.
- Wait, I can clean up my own mess.
Wake up, prince charming.
- Just how are you going to take
all the power from the men?
- Yeah, they're not gonna
step down without a fight.
- Girls, girls, girls.
- Yes?
Oh, talking to them.
- Why do you think that
we've taken all the time
to accumulate this wealth?
- Because we're greedy.
- No, because commercial
time is expensive.
- What are we advertising?
- Extra lite, a manly beer
made exclusively for men.
A full-bodied, no calorie
beer, extra light.
Drink the liquor that gives me vigor.
- Give me this.
- Hey, hey, hey.
- Drink a beer is not part
of my exercise program.
- It's okay, baby,
extra lite is no Cal.
It actually helps you get into
shape while you drink it.
And, it's only $1.50 a six-pack.
- Give me this.
- Hey Rafferty.
- Oh, look, please guys I'm
not in the mood, okay?
- We heard you got kidnapped
by black scorpion.
- Yeah, you okay?
- You know, she could've killed me.
She could've killed me but she didn't,
and I can't figure out why.
- You know, as your partners,
we should've been there
to back you up.
- From now on, wherever you go, we go.
- Whatever you do, we do.
- So, what are we gonna do?
- Well, I was just gonna sit here,
have a few drinks, contemplate.
- Bartender, can we get
three extra lites?
- Cap, you okay?
- Yeah, just my dogs are
barking after that exercycle.
- You want me to go out and get you
some of them fluffly slippers?
- Huh?
- I could give you a foot massage.
- Get away from me.
What's the matter with you two?
- Nothing, we just care about you, cap.
- You've been more
than a captain to us,
you've been like our father.
- Will you two stop acting like morons.
You've got 10 seconds
to get back to work.
One, two, three.
- God, that man could be so cold.
- Cap, it's for you.
- What do you want?
Oh, Mr. Mayor, it's you.
Yes, sir, I'm listening.
- Rafferty, late night last night?
- I went out drinking
with specs and slugger.
- You mean you hang out with
those guys on your own time?
- You know, contrary
to popular opinion,
these are two very caring,
sensitive gentlemen.
- That was the mayor on the phone.
He just relieved me of my command.
- What?
- That's awful.
- How could he do that to you?
- You think that's funny, huh guys?
Well, you won't be
laughing when you hear
who your new boss is.
- Who?
- Black scorpion.
- I am so proud of you, Arthur.
- Hey, you're not gonna
hurt me, are you?
- Of course not.
As long as you do as you're told,
I won't harm a hair on your head.
- Oh good.
- Have some more beer.
- Anything you say, aerobicide.
Or, should I call you madame mayor.
- Now, the only thing
that stands in way
are those non-beer drinking
men in power, the old fogies.
- But if they don't drink the beer,
how do we get rid of them?
- I guess we'll have to eliminate them
the old-fashioned way, exercise.
- What has gotten into him?
- I don't know, he's been
an absolute peach today.
He's been exercising,
he cooked me breakfast
and now this.
- You know something,
Steve's been acting
pretty strange lately, too.
- I'd offer you a beer, but
argyle drank them all.
Maybe that's why he's being
so sweet, he's drunk.
- You know something, Veronica,
I think you might be right.
- About what?
- I think argyle is drunk.
Can I borrow him for a little while?
- Just let him finish sweeping.
- Feeling any better?
- What I'm feeling is hungover.
Maybe, I should have another beer.
- No, not until you
find out what's in it.
- It's beer, true blue.
Yeast, alcohol, and whoa, what is this?
Extra lite contains a strange
testosterone robbing agent.
- Are you sure?
- Believe me, it hits a man
right where it counts.
And what's worse, it's addictive.
- Argyle.
- What, it's research.
- So, if men drink extra lite, then.
- We become wimps.
- That's it, that's
how aerobicide plans
to take over the city.
There's got to be some
way to stop that robot.
- Robot?
- She's not a robot
exactly, but she does have
a mechanical arm and a leg.
- A cyborg, then why didn't you say so?
If she's part machine,
she's also part computer
which means somewhere
underneath that hunk of junk
there's a control chip.
- Right, and if I can get to the chip,
- you can get to the chick.
- Thank you, judge, for
that generous contribution.
- Excuse me, Mr. Mayor, sir.
- What is it, strickland?
- Well, I don't mean to be rude, but,
are you out of your
damn mind replacing me
with black scorpion?
- There's no reason to take
that tone of voice with me.
- What's gotten into you?
I mean, everybody's such a
wussy tonight, why is that?
- Well, I have no idea
what you're talking about.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have an announcement to make.
Excuse me, gentlemen.
In order for there to
be a strong mayor,
you have to have strong supporters.
And that's what I have here
tonight, strong supporters.
Now to celebrate that
strength, why don't we
cap off the evening with
a round of exercise.
Now don't be afraid of aerobicide here,
she's on my campaign.
- Alright, old men, now
get ready to sweat.
- This specially-modified
remote control
should do the trick.
- Oh no, now he's turned you
into a couch potato too.
- No, baby, I'm just showing her how
to use the remote control.
- Well, you are the expert.
- I'm Patricia Carlyle reporting live
from the everly heights
gentlemen's club
where aerobicide is attempting
some kind of workout.
- Okay, guys, follow my lead.
- Why don't you follow mine instead?
- Black scorpion, I thought
that you supported our cause.
- I don't support murder.
- Bend, stretch, show black scorpion
how we deal with traitors.
- Let's see how you do
without your towel girls.
Drop and give me 50.
- What are you doing to me?
- Giving you a dose
of your own exercise.
Remember, what good's your wealth
if you don't have your health.
Suzy.
- You see, black scorpion,
you and I are just alike.
- How do you figure that?
- My mask gave me the courage to fight
for what I believe in, just like you.
- Hiding behind a mask
doesn't give you courage,
it just gives you pain.
- No pain, no gain.
- Black scorpion, this
is your final warning.
- Slugger, why don't you run out
and get me those slippers?
- Yeah, that's gonna happen.
Get out of the way, we're
trying to play ball.
- Specs, what about that
foot massage you offered.
- Anyway.
- Here we go, here we go, here we go.
Hey, that's a run.
- I'm better than you.
- Things are definitely back to normal.
- Or at least it will be when
you and I are partners again.
- What, is that an apology that I hear?
- No, no, but this is.
I think I've been taking
you for granted lately,
and I wanted to let you know
that I value our partnership.
You're the best partner
a guy could have.
- Thank you.
- The city's gyms are safe once again
now that aerobicide was
exercised to death
by black scorpion.
- See, baby, what did I tell you?
Too much exercise could kill you.