Black Scorpion (2001): Season 1, Episode 13 - Fire and Brimstone - full transcript
- Argyle, this view is breathtaking.
- I know it's taking my breath away.
- You can see the whole
city from up here.
- That's why they call
it heavenly point, baby,
and I figured what better way
to spend our anniversary.
- I can think of a better way.
- Oh, yeah.
- How about a toast?
- A toast.
- You didn't forget the wine did you?
- No, "I didn't forget the wine."
I got it right here.
But I may have forgotten the corkscrew.
- Argyle.
- Don't worry I got somethin'
in the trunk that'll open it.
Argyle me.
Dip stick, wire cutters, plunger.
Plunger?
Where did I put that drill?
- If your boyfriend doesn't
have the right tools, I do.
- Argyle.
Argyle.
- From now on the only name
you'll call out is mine.
- Cupid.
- Hey, shorty, that's my girl.
- Not anymore.
- Wait, my love, don't go.
- Don't worry, baby, I
wasn't running after him.
- But I am out of my way, boo, cupid.
- Blue.
- Hello.
- Hey, blue.
- Argyle.
- It's time to change
your colors, true blue.
I need black scorpion.
- What's wrong?
- Cupid just stole my girlfriend.
- I'm on my way.
- Cupid.
Come back, my love.
Cupid, come back.
- One good turn deserves another.
- Oh, no.
Oh.
We have to stop meeting like this.
- This is gonna be one messy break up.
- Lucky for me love is blind.
- Activate arrow vacuum.
- Don't say I never gave you anything.
- We'll meet again, cupid.
We'll meet again.
Fire.
- In the light of day
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night she
becomes black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- The kissing bandit known
as cupid struck again
last night surprising two
picnickers at heavenly point.
His smoking arrows burned
love burn pheromones,
which cause his victim
to fall head over heels
for the first person they see,
usually the pint-sized
super villain himself.
- For such a short guy cupid
sure has a long rap sheet.
You know, he's stolen over two
dozen women from their dates.
- This is unbelievable.
This guy gets kissed more than I do.
- What's so unbelievable about that?
- Look, don't worry.
This cupid's kissing spree
is coming to an end.
Walker, Rafferty you're going
undercover to catch him.
- Undercover as what?
- Sweethearts.
- This is the stupidest idea
the captain's ever had.
- Tell me about it.
I mean who would actually
believe we're sweethearts.
- Certainly not cupid we've
been here half the night,
and he hasn't done squat.
- Well, maybe that's because
you haven't done anything either.
- Excuse me.
- Look how far away
you're sitting from me.
- Well, look at how far you're sitting.
- Move closer.
- What?
- Move closer.
- Okay, now what?
- Put your arm around me or something.
- What?
- Come on.
- Darce.
- Look we gotta make this thing
look real for cupid come on.
- For cupid.
- Yeah.
- Well, isn't this romantic.
- Who were your watching, medusa?
- Detective Rafferty and his
so-called platonic partner.
I must have had rocks in my head
to ever believe their story.
- Uh-oh, here she goes again.
- I remember it like it was yesterday.
- Your face.
Minerva.
Minerva.
Minerva.
You really are medusa.
- In the flesh.
- No.
- Steve would've been
my pet rock forever
along with every other
man in this city.
But black scorpion stopped
me from turning them
into statutes by sending
me over angel dam.
- Here's mud in your eye.
- The police thought
I sank like a stone.
But I never hit rock bottom.
I escaped through a drainage tunnel
that's how I ended up here
in a place the Greek poets
described as the underworld.
- Well, you're looking
better than ever.
- That's because my spring
flows through these caves.
It's magical minerals
have restored my beauty
to its former luster.
Now that I'm my old or should
I say young self again
I can resurface and win Steve back.
- How?
- By getting rid of the
new love in his life.
- Do we get to kill her?
- Unfortunately not.
If we kill Darcy, then Steve
will love her even more.
But if she left him, then
love would turn to hate,
and Steve would turn to me.
- But how are you gonna get her
to give him the old heave-ho?
- I'm gonna enlist the help
of someone from her past?
- Who?
- Who?
- An old flame.
- Your burning desire for violence
needs to be extinguished.
Oh, excellent.
Now that inferno's regeneration
process has completed,
we can move on to the
rehabilitation procedure.
After I erase the evil
memories of your past,
you can become a normal
member of society.
- How good is a fireman
who starts fires?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Burn baby burn.
Feel the heat tonight.
Come to daddy, whoa.
Whoa, yeah.
Whoa.
- Yes, yes.
One moment more and your
memories will be memories.
- You're about to become
a memory yourself, doc.
- Medusa, no, please.
No, you mustn't.
Please not now.
No.
- What are you doing, queen of stone?
- Restoring his memories.
- Why?
- I need him to remember
who he's in love with.
- Excuse me I'm looking
for detective Walker.
- You found her.
- My name's Adam burns.
- A fireman named burns.
- How did you know I was a fireman?
- Well,
you are a hot number.
- You're pretty statuesque yourself.
But who are you?
- My name is medusa,
and I'm your new partner in crime.
Any other questions?
- Just one.
Who am I?
- Do you mean to tell me you
don't remember anything?
- The only thing I can
remember is Darcy's face.
I must have been carrying
quite a torch for her.
- Indeed you were,
and hopefully you till are.
If you two get hot and heavy again,
maybe Steve will stop stonewalling me.
- Hell hath no fury like
that of a woman scorned.
- What about your fury, inferno
how does it make you feel
to know that she's stoking
his fire right now?
- Now that you mentioned it
it does get me a little
hot under the collar.
- You really should see
someone about that.
- So what do you suggest we do
about our unrequited loves?
- The only thing we can do
team up, tear them a part.
What do you say?
- I think we're gonna
make one hell of a team.
- Well, I guess we'll give...
Give it another shot at
us tomorrow night, huh?
- Yeah, right, so it's a date.
- It is?
- Well, you know what I mean.
See ya.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hi, honey, I'm home.
- Adam.
Is this really you?
- Actually it's an
incredible simulation.
- I'm not sure I understand.
- I'm not sure I understand either.
Doctor Phoenix had me regenerated.
- But what are you doing here?
- I'm cooking you dinner.
I hope you like chicken flambe,
which reminds me I've
gotta defrost the bird.
- Why did doctor Phoenix release you?
- Oh, he didn't medusa did.
- Medusa.
- Now don't go
getting jealous we're just friends,
which is more than I can say
about you and your partner.
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Well, let's not pretend, Darcy.
After all, you thought I was dead.
It's only natural that you
would find someone else.
But I think we can
rekindle our romance.
- No, no, this can't happen again.
- Come on, Darcy.
You can't deny that there's
still heat between us.
Now I know it might just
be a little flicker now,
but I think we can fan
it back into a flame.
- Maybe you're right.
Tell ya what why don't I go slip into
something more comfortable.
- Don't be long.
This'll only take a second.
- Darcy, the food's getting cold.
- If I were you I'd put you
and your dinner date
on the back burner.
- Back burner, oh, I'll
show you a back burner.
- You need to chill out.
- Just when I was getting warmed up.
Oh, you know what they say
one good burn deserves another.
- Out of the frying pan into the fire.
- You're the one that's
going into the fire.
Now look what you've done.
You've ruined dinner
after I spent all night
slaving over a hot stove.
- If you can't stand the heat,
stay out of the kitchen.
Activate auto transfer.
- Attention officer Rafferty.
Attention officer Rafferty.
There's a 10-82 in progress
the corner of angel
and 12th street over.
- What do you say we
get down and dirty.
- All units officer down I
need help 1006 Avenue and 8th.
I need help.
Medusa.
- I'm flattered you remember me.
- I remember you turning
me into a statue.
- I hope there aren't
any hard feelings.
- The only hard feeling
you're gonna have
is my fist against your face.
- Black scorpion.
Marble, granite crush her.
- I guess it's time for
a little rock and roll.
- Why don't you stick
to playing in the mud.
Get it?
Stick in the mud?
- There's no escape, medusa.
- For either of us.
- What are you talking about?
- If they get me, they get you.
- Why can't I ever meet
a nice normal girl.
- Auto revert.
- Okay, here we go, Ms. Walker.
One more hit should do it.
- Detectives, oh, thank
goodness it's you.
I was burning alive in there.
- Speaking of which how
did you clone inferno?
I scattered his ashes myself.
- It was a mortician sold
me a sampling before
he turned him over to you.
- Why did you reanimate him?
Don't you have enough
Guinea pigs to play with?
- As we genetic scientists like to say
the more the scarier.
- What?
- Never mind me.
I'm just cloning around.
- Well, we're not cloning around,
and we're not laughing either.
Inferno and medusa are
dangerous enough on their own.
But you combined the two, and
they may be unstoppable.
- But what are they after?
- Actually us.
- Well, that should make
your job all the simpler.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, it seems to me that
the best way to catch them
is to let them catch you.
Yeah.
- What makes you think
medusa and inferno
are gonna come looking for us up here?
- Because this is where
they got the idea
that you and I were a couple.
- On our stake out.
- Exactly.
- Well, seems our paramours
have feet of Clay after all.
- Maybe they're just
trying to smoke us out.
- It's only one way to find out.
- You all set slugger?
- Ready and waiting Steve-O.
- How about you, specs?
- Affirmative.
First spark or pebble I see I'm there.
- Steve, look.
- Show time guys.
- Do my eyes deceive me
or is this a double date?
- Well, I wonder where
they're taking us?
- How about pearl gate penitentiary.
- You're under arrest.
- Police freeze, whoa, whoa.
- I didn't realize this
was such a hot spot.
- Freeze police.
- This night's off to a rocky start.
- Steve.
- Darce.
- Specs.
- Slugger.
- Come on, inferno.
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
- You don't have to ask me twice.
Let's hot tail it out of here.
- I think they're getting away.
- Oh, who cares?
- Not me.
- Me neither.
- Your eyes they're like...
- Now let me get this straight.
Not only did you guys let
inferno and medusa get away.
But you also let cupid
fly the Coop too.
- Your hair has such a
beautiful shine to it.
- Oh, thank you.
- You know, I really love your smile.
- Hey, snap out of it.
Listen slugger and specs sniffed
the same fumes you did,
but you don't see them making
goo-goo eyes at each other.
- Has anyone ever told you,
that you're a very attractive man?
- Not in the last 30 seconds.
- Oh, no, not you guys too.
Hey, stop that.
Stop it.
Oh, no.
Somebody better come
up with an anecdote
for these love bird's
pheromones and fast.
- Yo, are you doctor Phoenix?
- Yo, I mean ja, ja how can I help you?
- I'm not the one who
needs help, it's her.
- Cupid loves me.
He loves me not.
- I'm afraid that she's a bit
too alive to be one of my patients.
Bring her back in 50 or 60
years after she drops dead.
Then we'll see what I can do.
- Look I don't need you to
bring her back to life.
I need you to put some
sense into her head.
You know, she dumped me
for some pip squeak.
- Mama, always told me good
things come in small packages.
- I thought you said
size didn't matter?
- Well, I was wrong.
- I don't understand either one of you.
Now if you don't mind,
I would like to get to
my cadaver before rigor mortis sets in.
- Look, doc, I've had a hard time
coming up with an anecdote
for cupid's love spells.
So far everything I try nothing works.
Look, I want you to talk a look at this
biochemical breakdown I've come up with
and tell me what I'm doing wrong.
- Well, at first glance
it appears as though
you failed to counteract
the love bird pheromones.
- He loves me not.
- Counteract them with what?
- With an equally potent pheromone
from a solitary species
one that finds it difficult to mate.
- Like what?
- A shark or rattlesnakes
that should do the trick.
- You know I just left my last
rattlesnake back at home.
What else?
- Well, I don't know
a scorpion perhaps.
- Scorpion.
I'll be right back.
Watch my girl.
- With pleasure.
- Yeah, baby, come to papa.
Come to papa.
- I can't believe our
plan backfired like that.
- Why don't you throw some
of that heat over here.
I always wanted a jacuzzi.
- How can you take a bath
at a time like this.
- If I don't my skin will break out
and Steve will never want me.
- Oh, he's never gonna want you anyway.
Darcy's never gonna want me
not as long as they're
under cupid's love spell.
- There's gotta be something we can do
to give them a change of heart.
- How about a threat.
- Nah, that never worked
with Steve in the past.
- I'm not talking about
threatening them.
I'm talking about threatening
the thing that they love most.
- Well, right now that's each other.
- Yeah, but in the past
it's always been the city.
They'll do anything to save it.
- So what do you propose?
- That you and I combine our
talents for destruction.
- Walker, Rafferty get
down to angel tech.
There's a robbery in progress.
- What do you say, darce?
It's a lovely night for a drive.
- Can we take the scenic route?
- Uh-huh.
- There's no time for that.
Come on, come on get
a move on let's go.
Go, go, go, go, go.
- Captain never stops
to smell the roses.
- It's 'cause he's not in love.
- You're darn right I'm not.
I'm a married man.
Now you two finish up those reports,
and this time try not to drool on them.
- I knew I shouldn't
have skipped breakfast.
- It is the most important
meal of the day.
- Police nobody move.
- I just love it when you
take control like that.
- Really.
- Yeah.
- Alright, get your
hands up in the air.
- Let's kick some ash.
- What are you doing?
- What's it look like I'm doing
I'm beating the hell out of him.
- You're only supposed
to hurt the one you love
not the one I love.
- Lighten up, stone face.
- Alright you over grown match stick.
Two can play at this game.
- Come on get her, get her.
- Darcy.
- How dare you hit a woman.
- You may be a woman,
but you're no lady.
You stone called witch.
- Hot blooded creep.
- You as turned on as I am?
- It's just the heat of the moment.
- Well, why don't you say
we call it a dead heat
and get out of here.
- Sure.
Ow.
- Sorry.
- Steve.
Steve.
- Come on boys.
- Darcy, is that?
- Sweet dreams.
Activate auto transform.
- Oh, no.
- What's wrong.
- I have a pimple.
- Is that all?
For a minute I that black
scorpion was chasing us.
- Why do you think I am breaking out.
- It's time to burn rubber.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
- Not our rubber, hers.
Now that's what I call a hot broad.
- Engage thermal shields.
- That car of hers is fireproof.
- Now is no time to be smoking.
- I disagree.
- Activate arrow vacuum.
- Where there is smoke there's inferno.
- Inferno and medusa made
off with what appears to be
random parts from various
military prototypes.
What this deadly duo plans to do
with the seemingly unrelated
pieces has experts baffled.
- Experts maybe baffled but
I'm not at least not anymore.
Alright gather around you love birds
and take a look at this.
It was just delivered to my office.
Do you mind putting that in for me?
- This is an ultimatum
to Darcy and Steve.
If you two don't end
your smoldering romance,
the city of angels will
smolder in our heat.
Tell 'em about our sure
fire plan, medusa.
- The machine you see behind me
is a giant version of
my plaster blaster
made from the parts we
stole from angel tech.
Only it doesn't shoot plaster.
It shoots molten hot lava
curtesy of my flame
throwing friend here.
- And that lava will erupt
through heavenly point
turning the city's highest
hillside into a volcano
that will shake and bake
the entire population.
- You have until midnight tonight
to surrender yourselves to us
at the guardian of angels monument.
- If we don't see you tonight,
we'll see you in hell
and that's no threat.
That's a promise written in fire.
- And brimstone.
- Alright you two I want you to
stop playing kissy face with each other
and start playing kissy face
with medusa and inferno.
- Captain, we are so
enraptured with each other
we just can't be separated.
- Rafferty, I'm giving
you a direct order.
Are you refusing to follow it?
- No, cap, I think what he's
saying is we can't follow it.
- Stop that dancing.
Stop kissing, ah.
- I don't believe this.
We've been stood up.
- Maybe they think we're bluffing.
- We'll, we're show 'em we're not.
Fire that thing up.
- We're at 30,000 degrees fahrenheit.
- Ready.
- 60, 120, 250,000 degrees.
- Aim.
- 500.
750.
One million degrees fahrenheit.
- Fire.
- Now that's what I call
one hell of a lava lamp.
- National guard is
evacuating the homes
at the base of the hillside
but the lava is flowing so fast
that the entire population
will be at risk.
- I always said this city is
going to hell in a hand basket,
but this is ridiculous.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm returning something I borrowed.
What are you two doing?
- Right now I'm counting
Darcy's eyelashes, six, seven.
- Shouldn't you be out trying
to catch inferno and medusa.
- How many on this one?
- Uh-oh, I know that look.
That's the same look tender lovin' had
when she was under cupid's spell.
- One, two.
- I need a drink.
- Five.
- As a matter of fact,
why don't we all go have one, shall we?
- This tastes strange.
- So does mine.
What's in this?
- A sleeping pill.
- That's what I thought.
- Nighty night.
- Argyle.
- Don't worry, blue.
All I put in yours is
just a little something
to counteract the love bird pheromones.
- What you talking about?
- Dr. Phoenix and I put
our bald heads together
and come up with an anecdote.
Now that lover boy
here is in la la land
I suggest you become black scorpion
and find a way to stop that volcano.
- Could you give me a minute?
- Alright, but hurry up.
A minute's up let's go come on let go.
Over the teach and through the gums
look out super villains
'cause her she comes.
Now come on let go.
- Computer, access angel's
parking recreation bureau.
List all caves closed
to the general public.
Eliminate all except those that had
tunnels running under heavenly point.
Computer, engage stingray.
Fire.
- What are you doing?
- Trying to light this cigar.
- Do me a favor if you wanna smoke,
set yourself on fire.
- Computer, stingray.
- Better yet set her on fire.
What is wrong?
- I used all my body heat
to power up that machine.
- The flame that burns twice
as high lasts half as long.
- Let's see how long you
last against the four of us.
Come on, boys.
- Come on, you want some more, come on.
- You four are full of hate.
- That's because we have
no love in our lives.
- Maybe I can help you out with that.
- What are you talking about?
- Auto reverse vacuum.
- Medusa.
- Inferno.
- Alright, everybody, listen up.
As of today I'm putting a
new policy into effect.
No more dating between partners.
- Cap, you don't have to worry about us
ever since specs and I
drank the anecdote,
we want nothing to do with each other.
- I wouldn't go that far.
- Keep drinking, Romeo, keep drinking.
- Still I think it's a good idea
especially between you two.
- Well, cap, I think your
concerns are unfounded.
Ever since the love bird
pheromones wore off
Darcy and I wouldn't even
consider dating each other
not in a million years.
- A billion years.
- What do you think I'm stupid?
Don't answer that.
What happened between you two
wasn't only because of cupid's spell.
- It wasn't.
- Either two people have a
chemistry or they don't.
- I know it's taking my breath away.
- You can see the whole
city from up here.
- That's why they call
it heavenly point, baby,
and I figured what better way
to spend our anniversary.
- I can think of a better way.
- Oh, yeah.
- How about a toast?
- A toast.
- You didn't forget the wine did you?
- No, "I didn't forget the wine."
I got it right here.
But I may have forgotten the corkscrew.
- Argyle.
- Don't worry I got somethin'
in the trunk that'll open it.
Argyle me.
Dip stick, wire cutters, plunger.
Plunger?
Where did I put that drill?
- If your boyfriend doesn't
have the right tools, I do.
- Argyle.
Argyle.
- From now on the only name
you'll call out is mine.
- Cupid.
- Hey, shorty, that's my girl.
- Not anymore.
- Wait, my love, don't go.
- Don't worry, baby, I
wasn't running after him.
- But I am out of my way, boo, cupid.
- Blue.
- Hello.
- Hey, blue.
- Argyle.
- It's time to change
your colors, true blue.
I need black scorpion.
- What's wrong?
- Cupid just stole my girlfriend.
- I'm on my way.
- Cupid.
Come back, my love.
Cupid, come back.
- One good turn deserves another.
- Oh, no.
Oh.
We have to stop meeting like this.
- This is gonna be one messy break up.
- Lucky for me love is blind.
- Activate arrow vacuum.
- Don't say I never gave you anything.
- We'll meet again, cupid.
We'll meet again.
Fire.
- In the light of day
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night she
becomes black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- The kissing bandit known
as cupid struck again
last night surprising two
picnickers at heavenly point.
His smoking arrows burned
love burn pheromones,
which cause his victim
to fall head over heels
for the first person they see,
usually the pint-sized
super villain himself.
- For such a short guy cupid
sure has a long rap sheet.
You know, he's stolen over two
dozen women from their dates.
- This is unbelievable.
This guy gets kissed more than I do.
- What's so unbelievable about that?
- Look, don't worry.
This cupid's kissing spree
is coming to an end.
Walker, Rafferty you're going
undercover to catch him.
- Undercover as what?
- Sweethearts.
- This is the stupidest idea
the captain's ever had.
- Tell me about it.
I mean who would actually
believe we're sweethearts.
- Certainly not cupid we've
been here half the night,
and he hasn't done squat.
- Well, maybe that's because
you haven't done anything either.
- Excuse me.
- Look how far away
you're sitting from me.
- Well, look at how far you're sitting.
- Move closer.
- What?
- Move closer.
- Okay, now what?
- Put your arm around me or something.
- What?
- Come on.
- Darce.
- Look we gotta make this thing
look real for cupid come on.
- For cupid.
- Yeah.
- Well, isn't this romantic.
- Who were your watching, medusa?
- Detective Rafferty and his
so-called platonic partner.
I must have had rocks in my head
to ever believe their story.
- Uh-oh, here she goes again.
- I remember it like it was yesterday.
- Your face.
Minerva.
Minerva.
Minerva.
You really are medusa.
- In the flesh.
- No.
- Steve would've been
my pet rock forever
along with every other
man in this city.
But black scorpion stopped
me from turning them
into statutes by sending
me over angel dam.
- Here's mud in your eye.
- The police thought
I sank like a stone.
But I never hit rock bottom.
I escaped through a drainage tunnel
that's how I ended up here
in a place the Greek poets
described as the underworld.
- Well, you're looking
better than ever.
- That's because my spring
flows through these caves.
It's magical minerals
have restored my beauty
to its former luster.
Now that I'm my old or should
I say young self again
I can resurface and win Steve back.
- How?
- By getting rid of the
new love in his life.
- Do we get to kill her?
- Unfortunately not.
If we kill Darcy, then Steve
will love her even more.
But if she left him, then
love would turn to hate,
and Steve would turn to me.
- But how are you gonna get her
to give him the old heave-ho?
- I'm gonna enlist the help
of someone from her past?
- Who?
- Who?
- An old flame.
- Your burning desire for violence
needs to be extinguished.
Oh, excellent.
Now that inferno's regeneration
process has completed,
we can move on to the
rehabilitation procedure.
After I erase the evil
memories of your past,
you can become a normal
member of society.
- How good is a fireman
who starts fires?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Burn baby burn.
Feel the heat tonight.
Come to daddy, whoa.
Whoa, yeah.
Whoa.
- Yes, yes.
One moment more and your
memories will be memories.
- You're about to become
a memory yourself, doc.
- Medusa, no, please.
No, you mustn't.
Please not now.
No.
- What are you doing, queen of stone?
- Restoring his memories.
- Why?
- I need him to remember
who he's in love with.
- Excuse me I'm looking
for detective Walker.
- You found her.
- My name's Adam burns.
- A fireman named burns.
- How did you know I was a fireman?
- Well,
you are a hot number.
- You're pretty statuesque yourself.
But who are you?
- My name is medusa,
and I'm your new partner in crime.
Any other questions?
- Just one.
Who am I?
- Do you mean to tell me you
don't remember anything?
- The only thing I can
remember is Darcy's face.
I must have been carrying
quite a torch for her.
- Indeed you were,
and hopefully you till are.
If you two get hot and heavy again,
maybe Steve will stop stonewalling me.
- Hell hath no fury like
that of a woman scorned.
- What about your fury, inferno
how does it make you feel
to know that she's stoking
his fire right now?
- Now that you mentioned it
it does get me a little
hot under the collar.
- You really should see
someone about that.
- So what do you suggest we do
about our unrequited loves?
- The only thing we can do
team up, tear them a part.
What do you say?
- I think we're gonna
make one hell of a team.
- Well, I guess we'll give...
Give it another shot at
us tomorrow night, huh?
- Yeah, right, so it's a date.
- It is?
- Well, you know what I mean.
See ya.
- Yeah, yeah.
- Hi, honey, I'm home.
- Adam.
Is this really you?
- Actually it's an
incredible simulation.
- I'm not sure I understand.
- I'm not sure I understand either.
Doctor Phoenix had me regenerated.
- But what are you doing here?
- I'm cooking you dinner.
I hope you like chicken flambe,
which reminds me I've
gotta defrost the bird.
- Why did doctor Phoenix release you?
- Oh, he didn't medusa did.
- Medusa.
- Now don't go
getting jealous we're just friends,
which is more than I can say
about you and your partner.
- I don't know what
you're talking about.
- Well, let's not pretend, Darcy.
After all, you thought I was dead.
It's only natural that you
would find someone else.
But I think we can
rekindle our romance.
- No, no, this can't happen again.
- Come on, Darcy.
You can't deny that there's
still heat between us.
Now I know it might just
be a little flicker now,
but I think we can fan
it back into a flame.
- Maybe you're right.
Tell ya what why don't I go slip into
something more comfortable.
- Don't be long.
This'll only take a second.
- Darcy, the food's getting cold.
- If I were you I'd put you
and your dinner date
on the back burner.
- Back burner, oh, I'll
show you a back burner.
- You need to chill out.
- Just when I was getting warmed up.
Oh, you know what they say
one good burn deserves another.
- Out of the frying pan into the fire.
- You're the one that's
going into the fire.
Now look what you've done.
You've ruined dinner
after I spent all night
slaving over a hot stove.
- If you can't stand the heat,
stay out of the kitchen.
Activate auto transfer.
- Attention officer Rafferty.
Attention officer Rafferty.
There's a 10-82 in progress
the corner of angel
and 12th street over.
- What do you say we
get down and dirty.
- All units officer down I
need help 1006 Avenue and 8th.
I need help.
Medusa.
- I'm flattered you remember me.
- I remember you turning
me into a statue.
- I hope there aren't
any hard feelings.
- The only hard feeling
you're gonna have
is my fist against your face.
- Black scorpion.
Marble, granite crush her.
- I guess it's time for
a little rock and roll.
- Why don't you stick
to playing in the mud.
Get it?
Stick in the mud?
- There's no escape, medusa.
- For either of us.
- What are you talking about?
- If they get me, they get you.
- Why can't I ever meet
a nice normal girl.
- Auto revert.
- Okay, here we go, Ms. Walker.
One more hit should do it.
- Detectives, oh, thank
goodness it's you.
I was burning alive in there.
- Speaking of which how
did you clone inferno?
I scattered his ashes myself.
- It was a mortician sold
me a sampling before
he turned him over to you.
- Why did you reanimate him?
Don't you have enough
Guinea pigs to play with?
- As we genetic scientists like to say
the more the scarier.
- What?
- Never mind me.
I'm just cloning around.
- Well, we're not cloning around,
and we're not laughing either.
Inferno and medusa are
dangerous enough on their own.
But you combined the two, and
they may be unstoppable.
- But what are they after?
- Actually us.
- Well, that should make
your job all the simpler.
- What are you talking about?
- Well, it seems to me that
the best way to catch them
is to let them catch you.
Yeah.
- What makes you think
medusa and inferno
are gonna come looking for us up here?
- Because this is where
they got the idea
that you and I were a couple.
- On our stake out.
- Exactly.
- Well, seems our paramours
have feet of Clay after all.
- Maybe they're just
trying to smoke us out.
- It's only one way to find out.
- You all set slugger?
- Ready and waiting Steve-O.
- How about you, specs?
- Affirmative.
First spark or pebble I see I'm there.
- Steve, look.
- Show time guys.
- Do my eyes deceive me
or is this a double date?
- Well, I wonder where
they're taking us?
- How about pearl gate penitentiary.
- You're under arrest.
- Police freeze, whoa, whoa.
- I didn't realize this
was such a hot spot.
- Freeze police.
- This night's off to a rocky start.
- Steve.
- Darce.
- Specs.
- Slugger.
- Come on, inferno.
A rolling stone gathers no moss.
- You don't have to ask me twice.
Let's hot tail it out of here.
- I think they're getting away.
- Oh, who cares?
- Not me.
- Me neither.
- Your eyes they're like...
- Now let me get this straight.
Not only did you guys let
inferno and medusa get away.
But you also let cupid
fly the Coop too.
- Your hair has such a
beautiful shine to it.
- Oh, thank you.
- You know, I really love your smile.
- Hey, snap out of it.
Listen slugger and specs sniffed
the same fumes you did,
but you don't see them making
goo-goo eyes at each other.
- Has anyone ever told you,
that you're a very attractive man?
- Not in the last 30 seconds.
- Oh, no, not you guys too.
Hey, stop that.
Stop it.
Oh, no.
Somebody better come
up with an anecdote
for these love bird's
pheromones and fast.
- Yo, are you doctor Phoenix?
- Yo, I mean ja, ja how can I help you?
- I'm not the one who
needs help, it's her.
- Cupid loves me.
He loves me not.
- I'm afraid that she's a bit
too alive to be one of my patients.
Bring her back in 50 or 60
years after she drops dead.
Then we'll see what I can do.
- Look I don't need you to
bring her back to life.
I need you to put some
sense into her head.
You know, she dumped me
for some pip squeak.
- Mama, always told me good
things come in small packages.
- I thought you said
size didn't matter?
- Well, I was wrong.
- I don't understand either one of you.
Now if you don't mind,
I would like to get to
my cadaver before rigor mortis sets in.
- Look, doc, I've had a hard time
coming up with an anecdote
for cupid's love spells.
So far everything I try nothing works.
Look, I want you to talk a look at this
biochemical breakdown I've come up with
and tell me what I'm doing wrong.
- Well, at first glance
it appears as though
you failed to counteract
the love bird pheromones.
- He loves me not.
- Counteract them with what?
- With an equally potent pheromone
from a solitary species
one that finds it difficult to mate.
- Like what?
- A shark or rattlesnakes
that should do the trick.
- You know I just left my last
rattlesnake back at home.
What else?
- Well, I don't know
a scorpion perhaps.
- Scorpion.
I'll be right back.
Watch my girl.
- With pleasure.
- Yeah, baby, come to papa.
Come to papa.
- I can't believe our
plan backfired like that.
- Why don't you throw some
of that heat over here.
I always wanted a jacuzzi.
- How can you take a bath
at a time like this.
- If I don't my skin will break out
and Steve will never want me.
- Oh, he's never gonna want you anyway.
Darcy's never gonna want me
not as long as they're
under cupid's love spell.
- There's gotta be something we can do
to give them a change of heart.
- How about a threat.
- Nah, that never worked
with Steve in the past.
- I'm not talking about
threatening them.
I'm talking about threatening
the thing that they love most.
- Well, right now that's each other.
- Yeah, but in the past
it's always been the city.
They'll do anything to save it.
- So what do you propose?
- That you and I combine our
talents for destruction.
- Walker, Rafferty get
down to angel tech.
There's a robbery in progress.
- What do you say, darce?
It's a lovely night for a drive.
- Can we take the scenic route?
- Uh-huh.
- There's no time for that.
Come on, come on get
a move on let's go.
Go, go, go, go, go.
- Captain never stops
to smell the roses.
- It's 'cause he's not in love.
- You're darn right I'm not.
I'm a married man.
Now you two finish up those reports,
and this time try not to drool on them.
- I knew I shouldn't
have skipped breakfast.
- It is the most important
meal of the day.
- Police nobody move.
- I just love it when you
take control like that.
- Really.
- Yeah.
- Alright, get your
hands up in the air.
- Let's kick some ash.
- What are you doing?
- What's it look like I'm doing
I'm beating the hell out of him.
- You're only supposed
to hurt the one you love
not the one I love.
- Lighten up, stone face.
- Alright you over grown match stick.
Two can play at this game.
- Come on get her, get her.
- Darcy.
- How dare you hit a woman.
- You may be a woman,
but you're no lady.
You stone called witch.
- Hot blooded creep.
- You as turned on as I am?
- It's just the heat of the moment.
- Well, why don't you say
we call it a dead heat
and get out of here.
- Sure.
Ow.
- Sorry.
- Steve.
Steve.
- Come on boys.
- Darcy, is that?
- Sweet dreams.
Activate auto transform.
- Oh, no.
- What's wrong.
- I have a pimple.
- Is that all?
For a minute I that black
scorpion was chasing us.
- Why do you think I am breaking out.
- It's time to burn rubber.
- I'm going as fast as I can.
- Not our rubber, hers.
Now that's what I call a hot broad.
- Engage thermal shields.
- That car of hers is fireproof.
- Now is no time to be smoking.
- I disagree.
- Activate arrow vacuum.
- Where there is smoke there's inferno.
- Inferno and medusa made
off with what appears to be
random parts from various
military prototypes.
What this deadly duo plans to do
with the seemingly unrelated
pieces has experts baffled.
- Experts maybe baffled but
I'm not at least not anymore.
Alright gather around you love birds
and take a look at this.
It was just delivered to my office.
Do you mind putting that in for me?
- This is an ultimatum
to Darcy and Steve.
If you two don't end
your smoldering romance,
the city of angels will
smolder in our heat.
Tell 'em about our sure
fire plan, medusa.
- The machine you see behind me
is a giant version of
my plaster blaster
made from the parts we
stole from angel tech.
Only it doesn't shoot plaster.
It shoots molten hot lava
curtesy of my flame
throwing friend here.
- And that lava will erupt
through heavenly point
turning the city's highest
hillside into a volcano
that will shake and bake
the entire population.
- You have until midnight tonight
to surrender yourselves to us
at the guardian of angels monument.
- If we don't see you tonight,
we'll see you in hell
and that's no threat.
That's a promise written in fire.
- And brimstone.
- Alright you two I want you to
stop playing kissy face with each other
and start playing kissy face
with medusa and inferno.
- Captain, we are so
enraptured with each other
we just can't be separated.
- Rafferty, I'm giving
you a direct order.
Are you refusing to follow it?
- No, cap, I think what he's
saying is we can't follow it.
- Stop that dancing.
Stop kissing, ah.
- I don't believe this.
We've been stood up.
- Maybe they think we're bluffing.
- We'll, we're show 'em we're not.
Fire that thing up.
- We're at 30,000 degrees fahrenheit.
- Ready.
- 60, 120, 250,000 degrees.
- Aim.
- 500.
750.
One million degrees fahrenheit.
- Fire.
- Now that's what I call
one hell of a lava lamp.
- National guard is
evacuating the homes
at the base of the hillside
but the lava is flowing so fast
that the entire population
will be at risk.
- I always said this city is
going to hell in a hand basket,
but this is ridiculous.
- What are you doing here?
- I'm returning something I borrowed.
What are you two doing?
- Right now I'm counting
Darcy's eyelashes, six, seven.
- Shouldn't you be out trying
to catch inferno and medusa.
- How many on this one?
- Uh-oh, I know that look.
That's the same look tender lovin' had
when she was under cupid's spell.
- One, two.
- I need a drink.
- Five.
- As a matter of fact,
why don't we all go have one, shall we?
- This tastes strange.
- So does mine.
What's in this?
- A sleeping pill.
- That's what I thought.
- Nighty night.
- Argyle.
- Don't worry, blue.
All I put in yours is
just a little something
to counteract the love bird pheromones.
- What you talking about?
- Dr. Phoenix and I put
our bald heads together
and come up with an anecdote.
Now that lover boy
here is in la la land
I suggest you become black scorpion
and find a way to stop that volcano.
- Could you give me a minute?
- Alright, but hurry up.
A minute's up let's go come on let go.
Over the teach and through the gums
look out super villains
'cause her she comes.
Now come on let go.
- Computer, access angel's
parking recreation bureau.
List all caves closed
to the general public.
Eliminate all except those that had
tunnels running under heavenly point.
Computer, engage stingray.
Fire.
- What are you doing?
- Trying to light this cigar.
- Do me a favor if you wanna smoke,
set yourself on fire.
- Computer, stingray.
- Better yet set her on fire.
What is wrong?
- I used all my body heat
to power up that machine.
- The flame that burns twice
as high lasts half as long.
- Let's see how long you
last against the four of us.
Come on, boys.
- Come on, you want some more, come on.
- You four are full of hate.
- That's because we have
no love in our lives.
- Maybe I can help you out with that.
- What are you talking about?
- Auto reverse vacuum.
- Medusa.
- Inferno.
- Alright, everybody, listen up.
As of today I'm putting a
new policy into effect.
No more dating between partners.
- Cap, you don't have to worry about us
ever since specs and I
drank the anecdote,
we want nothing to do with each other.
- I wouldn't go that far.
- Keep drinking, Romeo, keep drinking.
- Still I think it's a good idea
especially between you two.
- Well, cap, I think your
concerns are unfounded.
Ever since the love bird
pheromones wore off
Darcy and I wouldn't even
consider dating each other
not in a million years.
- A billion years.
- What do you think I'm stupid?
Don't answer that.
What happened between you two
wasn't only because of cupid's spell.
- It wasn't.
- Either two people have a
chemistry or they don't.