Black Scorpion (2001): Season 1, Episode 12 - Roses Are Red, You're Dead - full transcript
- Flower delivery.
Sign here.
- I am highly allergic to flowers.
Get them out of here.
- Not my job.
- Miss peabody,
I want you to remove
these flowers at once.
- It's not my job either.
- Fine.
I'll get rid of them myself.
You people are...
- Welcome to first angel's
bank, can I help you?
- I've come to make a withdrawal.
- How much would you like?
- Everything.
- Everything in your account?
- No, everything in the bank.
- Yes, of course, Mr....
- Greenthumb's the name,
and these two lovely flowers are
tiger Lily, African Violet.
- Come, come, girls,
time to go to work.
We must rake in the green, rake it in.
Oh ho, ooh.
- What the hell is going on here?
- That guy in the funny
suit is robbing us.
- Don't just stand there!
Do something.
- Okay, I'll sit down.
- Are you crazy?
- Here, you hold this, it is heavy.
- Oh.
Oh.
You know, some poppy powder
might make you sleep.
- Yeah.
Nighty night.
- God bless you.
- Thank you.
Can't seem to shake this cold.
- Buy a rose for your sweetheart?
- This isn't my sweetheart,
she's just one of the guys.
- All units, robbery in progress
at first angel's bank,
suspects armed with plants?
- Did he say plants?
- Yeah.
Unit 2963 responding.
Let's go, it's a code seven.
- Okay, okay, I'm coming.
- Sir, your check?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, code seven, pal.
- Code seven?
- Yes.
- The cops.
- What do we do?
- Let's make like a tree and leave.
- Police! Freeze.
- Fire.
- In the light of day,
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night, she becomes
black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- Police! Freeze.
- I got the plant.
- I got the tree.
- You're under.
- Gesundheit.
- Cuff him, slugger.
- Ah, I gotta put that on
a list of things to do,
but I could really use a nap.
- Oh, there's too much
crime going on here, man.
- Steve, help me out.
- You know, darce, I'm
just feeling a little...
I think it's time for me to
take a little break over here.
- Oh, it seems that
your stuffed up nose
has made you immune to my
apathetias, detective.
- Apathetias?
- Yes, those wonderful droopy
plants you see everywhere.
- Look, the only green I'm
interested in is money.
Now, hand it over.
- Girls, you heard what the cop said.
Ooh,
ah.
Oh.
Aw.
Excellent, excellent work
my perfumed petunias.
- Activate auto-transform.
- Thumb up for that bank
job, my budding beauties.
- Greenthumb, you're the greatest!
- Yeah, you really
make my twigs twitch.
- Ooh, I love hearing
you talk dirty to me.
Uh-oh.
- What's wrong, greeny?
- Black scorpion.
- That pest.
- What are we gonna do?
- Well, we squash her like
the bug she really is.
- Look, we're making potholes.
- Ooh.
- Engage thermal shields.
- Yes!
- Whoa!
Allow me to recycle those for you.
Good work, good work.
Now, it's time to nip
this chase in the bud.
- Greenthumb.
- No, cut it.
Cut it. - Hey, hey.
What's wrong with it?
- You got a clogged air intake valve.
- Oops.
- Thanks, blue.
- Sorry, but I think I've got two.
- Girl, cover your mouth.
- Sorry, Veronica.
- Sorry's not gonna do my any good
if I can't smell the
big, beautiful bouquet
my argyle's gonna buy
me for Valentine's day.
- What?
- You heard me.
And no excuses about
how tight money is.
- It's not about the money, baby.
It's just I don't know
anything about flowers.
My thumb ain't green, it's black.
And besides, I already got you
a Valentine's day present.
- I don't remember any present.
- You don't remember that
new oil filter I got you?
- I had to pay for that.
- But I installed it for free.
- Men.
- I think you can do a lot better.
- A toast
to my beautiful apathetias.
- Yes.
- How come the fumes
didn't make us apathetic?
- Well, you just drank the
answer, my precious peach.
- We did?
- Mm-hmm.
This rosehips liquor
that we've been imbibing
for the past week
counteracts the effect
of the apathetias.
That's why we're able to rob the bank.
- So what are we gonna
do with all this green?
- Phase two of my plan.
- Well, don't leave us out on a limb.
- I'm going to launch a
massive ad campaign.
- Ah.
What are we selling?
- Gasp-for-airius, only a dime
a dozen for Valentine's day.
One sniff will leave
your lover breathless.
Available only at gardener's garden.
- Babbette,
order a dozen of those flowers.
Oh, what the hell.
At that price, order two dozen.
- How romantic.
- Well.
- Do you want to attach a card?
- Oh, good idea.
Take this down.
My dearest darling.
- Artie.
- After all these years together,
our love is still as fresh
and new as spring time.
- Aww, Artie.
- happy Valentine's day to my dear
wife.
- Wife?
- Well, I, I, I,
I hope you understand.
- I hope you understand what
the words not tonight mean.
- Babette?
- Ah.
With my fabulous commercials
playing around the clock,
it won't be long before
everything's coming up
gasp-for-airius.
- I never heard of gasp-for-airius.
- Yeah, what are they anyway?
- Well, why don't I just show you,
my curious chrysanthemums.
Right this way.
Either of you girls ever
heard of photosynthesis?
- Photo sin?
Does it have anything to do with
dirty pictures?
- Oh, no, no.
It has to do with carbon dioxide.
You see, plants suck in the
poisonous gases in the air,
and then emit the oxygen
that we all breath.
Now, I have created a plant that
does the same thing, except
in reverse.
In other words, it
sucks in the good air
and emits the poisonous gases.
Behold.
The
gasp-for-airius.
- But how are we gonna make
any money off of this.
We're only charging 10 cents a bouquet.
- Because the antidote
plant is very expensive.
- Antidote plant?
- Yes.
I call it
the oxydendron.
It emits oxygen back in
to the air we breath.
- How did you learn
how to grow all these
different kinds of plants?
- When you're born with
a thumb like this,
what would expect me to
do, become a dentist?
- You're a genius, greenie.
We'll make more money selling air
than we ever could robbing banks.
- I'm not in this for the money.
- Then why are you doing it?
- For love.
- Babette!
Babette, can I see you for a moment?
- There, you've seen me.
Happy? - No.
You've been avoiding me all day.
It gets lonely in here.
I need someone to talk to.
- Then talk to captain strickland.
- Strickland?
- He's on line one.
- You better have some good news
about those bank robberies.
- Well, sir, I, I don't.
The only thing the three banks
have in common are plants.
Greenthumb called them apathetias.
They seem to have some kind of pollen
that makes people passive.
- That's all you've got?
- Yes sir.
- Well,
until you've got more, don't
waste my precious mayoral time
with minor details.
- Well, um, I am sending Walker out
to check the local florist
to see if any of them carry apathetias.
Oh, Walker, get a dozen flowers
for my wife, will you?
You know, the ones with the weird name,
gasp-for-what-eous. - Well,
you better hope that she
comes up with a lead.
Because if you don't catch
this big thumb character,
the only thing you are
gonna catch is a cold
directing traffic.
- Oh Artie.
You sounded so forceful.
- Oh, does that mean
you've forgiven me?
- Oh, I can't help myself.
I just love it when you give orders.
- Oh, well, in that case,
order my wife flowers.
- I don't love it that much.
- Ow!
- Excuse me.
I'm detective Walker, I'm
looking for Eugene gardner.
- I'm Eugene.
- Oh, nice to meet you, Mr. gardner.
- Uh, yes, how may I help you?
- I'd like to ask you a few questions.
- Oh, I'm very busy
right now, you know,
business is blooming, as
we flowers like to say.
- This won't take long.
Do you know anything about greenthumb?
- Only what I read in the papers.
Why?
- We think some local flower shops
have been supplying
him with apathetias.
- Apathetias, why no such
plant exists in nature.
- Well, that's what
greenthumb called them.
- Well, maybe he was
cross pollinating, you know,
creating his own special species.
Just a theory, but I must, I'm so busy.
Thank you. - Of course.
Thanks for your time.
- Do you think she knows?
- Not yet.
But by the time she finds
out, it'll be too late.
By my calculations, 83%
of the city's households
have already ordered gasp-for-airius
for Valentine's day.
- We'll need to hire more delivery men.
- Mmm, that's true.
But right now, I need just two
to make a very special delivery,
tonight.
- Oh, they're the most beautiful
flowers I've ever seen.
- They're the most beautiful
flowers I've ever created.
I call them
amoratus.
Now, please, deliver
this to this address.
- Mayor worth's office?
You got a thing for authority figures?
- No, but I've got a thing
for someone who does.
- Well, what do you think?
- I like them over here.
- She won't notice them
unless they are on the desk.
- The desk is too obvious.
They belong on the mantle.
- One,
two
three,
shoot!
- Aw, shoot.
Mayor's working late.
- That can't be our mayor.
- Maybe somebody broke in.
- About 12, break-in
in the mayor's office,
yada, yada, yada.
Call the police.
- Phone number?
- 9-1-1.
- Roger that.
- Come in, unit two-niner-six-three.
- Yeah, go ahead, dispatch.
- Please respond to
break-in at city hall.
- Two-niner-six-three responding.
- What's going on?
- We are trying to decide
where the flowers look best.
I like them on the desk.
And I like them on the mantel.
- What do you think?
- The mantel.
- What are my options again?
- All right, pull over right over here.
I'm gonna go around the
back, go up the stairs.
You go in the front, use the elevator.
- Right behind you.
- I told you the mantel.
- I still say the desk.
- If anybody asks, we'll tell
them you're all tied up.
- Yeah, we heard it
through the grapevine.
- Freeze!
Police.
- Looks like greenthumb was right.
Cops are like weeds. - Yeah.
Always showing up where
you don't want them.
- What do you say we wack him?
- Ooh, yes.
- The mantel.
- Drop the weed whacker,
or you two will be pushing up daisies.
- Black scorpion.
- What do you say we transplant her?
- I'd rather mow her down.
- It's time you two flowers
turned over a new leaf.
- You're under arrest.
- You know you really need
to get a new pickup line.
- I'm not trying to pick you up.
I'm trying to take you down.
Ah!
God bless you. - Thank you.
And I'm sorry.
- For what?
- This.
- Are those flowers mum?
- Cap, they're not mums.
One's an African Violet, the
other one's a tiger Lily.
- Ah, you nincompoop, I
mean are they talking?
- I don't know.
- No, they're waiting
for their lawyers.
Some guy named Mr. green.
- I have a delivery for
captain strickland.
- Yeah, right here, here.
Must be there flowers I ordered.
- All right, we'll go get the rest.
- The rest, huh?
- Geez, all I'm saying is,
I would have caught black scorpion
if I had a little bit of backup.
- I told you the elevator got stuck.
Now, what was I supposed to do?
- I know what I would have done.
- What?
- You know, I think I would have,
I would have taken a
little, little break.
Time for a little r&R.
- Cap, how many of these
things you order?
- Just, just a dozen.
- Just a dozen, huh?
- Must have been a computer foul up.
- Yeah.
- Well,
who cares.
- Not me.
- Well, certainly not me.
- Steve, we've gotta get
these flowers outta here.
- Why?
They're apathetias. - So.
- Slugger, specs?
- Walker, Darcy?
We're on break.
- Me, too.
- Captain?
- Oh, don't look at me.
- Don't look at him.
- I'm thinking about retiring.
- Good idea, captain.
I think you oughta retire.
Cap?
- What?
- Where'd all the flowers go?
- I don't care.
- I think they're stolen.
- Greenthumb.
- Now that's what I call flower power.
- Oh, my goodness me.
I didn't know that violets
and lilies could thrive
in captivity.
- We're not thriving.
- We're wilting.
- Never fear my bosomy blossoms.
I'm green,
I'm mean,
and I'm on the scene.
- Are you gonna spring us, greenthumb?
- Yes, well, spring is
my favorite time of the year, you know.
- So, how are you gonna do it?
- Very simple.
By asking one of the
city of angels finest
to lend us a hand.
Pardon me, officer,
would you be so kind
as to give us the keys
to the handcuffs?
Oh, thank you very much.
Oh, there you are.
- Time to reap what
you sow, greenthumb.
- Oh, look, black scorpion.
- Black scorpion.
Sorry, but this bitter
harvest isn't mine.
It's yours.
Prune back her petals.
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, what a surprise.
It's very good on someone else.
Shall we? - Yes.
- Let's go.
- Should we be doing something?
- Nah.
- Maybe we should call the police.
- We are the police.
- All right, call yourself.
- Oh, my god, Artie.
- I know.
Look at the shambles.
- They're beautiful.
- Huh?
- Champs are my favorite.
You remembered. - I did?
I mean, well, of course I did.
- I'm sorry I ever doubted
your love for me.
- Well, now don't you feel silly?
- Actually, silly isn't
what I'm feeling at all.
- She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, ah.
- I don't get it.
Why did we risk jail delivering flowers
to that bimbo babette? - Yeah.
What's so special about her?
- What's so special?
She loves me.
Can't you see, she loves
me, and I've loved her
oh, as long as I can remember.
There you are, babette.
It's for you, happy Valentine's day.
- They're beautiful, thank you.
- Oh, but they're not as
beautiful as you are, babette,
my little Parisian pet. - Eugene.
- Babette, can I ask you something?
- Anything.
- Well,
if you're French, how come
you don't live in France?
- Well,
don't tell anyone, but
I'm not really French.
My real name is Agnes.
I changed it to babette
because it sounds more
classy, and sophisticated.
- But why are you worried
about being sophisticated?
- Because I wanna get
out of this little town
and be somebody someday. - Who?
- I don't know.
Maybe the wife of a
a doctor,
or a lawyer. - Or a florist?
- Maybe.
Eugene, can I ask you something?
- Anything.
- Why do always keep your
hand in your pocket?
- Well, I,
well, I don't keep this hand
in if you note, I mean.
It's an old...
There's an interesting
story about that,
but I, in fact, I was
thinking of telling you...
- gather around, gather around.
Ahem. - Well, it's a long story,
and, I've, uh... - my friends.
I promise you that if you elect me
there will be tax cuts,
real low,
plunging tax cuts.
And our government will
be in great shape.
Because
I believe in a
firm,
hard,
well-rounded government.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have a campaign promise just for you.
- Babette, don't go.
- Sorry, Eugene.
This is my chance to be somebody.
- What are you saying?
- See you, happy Valentine's day.
- I'll be somebody someday.
Somebody real powerful.
More powerful
than him.
- That was the saddest
story I've ever heard.
- Please, cry no more,
my weeping willows.
For this story is going
to have a happy ending.
- It is?
- Yes.
When I take over the entire
air supply of the city,
and I control it,
then babette will see just
how powerful a man I am.
And I'll win her back
with the same flowers
she rejected me with.
- Not to mention ruining
Valentine's day for everyone else.
- Well, yeah, there's that.
- Yeah, I asked for a
table with a view.
- Oh this one does have a view
of better tables.
- Oh, so that's what happens
when you code seven a waiter.
- Well, any table with a view of my man
is good enough for me.
Happy Valentine's day, baby.
- Buy a bouquet for
your ladies, gentlemen?
- Uh, well, uh...
Argyle?
- Don't look at me, I'm allergic.
- To flowers?
- No, to spending money.
- But they're practically free.
Here.
Have a whiff.
- What, what do you say, baby?
- I don't feel so good.
- Uh, I don't either.
- Must be something going around.
- You feel it too?
- There's still no explanation
for the mysterious illness
that is sweeping our fair city.
- What is going on?
How come the whole city is sick?
- And why aren't we?
- Yeah.
- Because neither of you
ordered flowers for Valentine's day.
- You Mr. Mayor because
you're too cheap.
- Now, just hold on a minute.
- And you, lovely lady,
because
you're in love.
In love with someone from your past.
- The past?
- I resent you calling me cheap.
It's just that money's
been tight lately
because of my re-election campaign.
- You can campaign all you want,
but from now on, I'll be in
charge of running this city.
- The whole city?
- That's right.
How you may ask?
Go ahead, you may ask how.
- How?
- How?
- That's a good question.
The only way to counteract the
effect of my gasp-for-airius
is with my antidote
plant, the oxydendron.
Now, what does he want in
exchange, you may ask.
Go ahead, you may ask.
- What does he want?
- One billion dollars.
- That would make you the
richest man in the city.
- And the most powerful.
- Why, babette, are you all right?
You're shaking like a leaf.
- I'm just a little weak in the knees.
- Oh, well, that just means
that your root system
needs more nourishment.
- No, I just get this way
around powerful men.
- Oh, babette.
Go on,
my little Parisian pet.
- What did you call me?
- The same thing I've been
calling you all my life.
My little Parisian pet.
- Eugene.
- Eugene?
- Eugene gardner,
is it really you? - It is I.
- What happened to you?
- Well, let's just say I was
a late bloomer.
- I'll say.
- Babette, will you marry me?
Will you be my budding bride?
- Oh, yes, Eugene, yes.
- Babette?
- I'm sorry, Artie, but,
he's got me under his spell.
- You can send the billion
dollars to my flower shop
by midnight tonight.
Behold!
My greatest creation:
The Venus scorpion trap.
- Wow.
The leaves are so big.
- Yes.
It's a relative of the Venus flytrap.
It's grown with a special blend
of horse, goat, and bull fertilizer.
- It looks hungry.
- It is hungry
for black scorpion, ah!
- Ooh, it's horrible.
- Thank you.
- Strickland!
Strickland!
Strickland!
- Mayor worth?
- Is that you, detective Walker?
- What's wrong?
- Babette has left me for big thumb.
- Big thumb?
- Greenthumb.
- Sorry to hear that.
- But you got to help me get her back.
- Before or after I save the city?
- Oh, forget the city.
I must have babette.
- Mr. Mayor, I wouldn't even
know where to look for her.
- They're at gardner's gardens.
- How do you know that?
- Because that's where he told
me to deliver the ransom.
You see, greenthumb is
really Eugene gardner.
Detective, you've got
to get her back for me.
- Computer, auto transform.
- At last, my little Parisian pet.
The Valentine's day we never had.
- And you never will.
At least not for 10 to 20 years
without the possibility of parole.
- What do we do, Eugene?
- Oh, the choice is very
easy for you, babette.
You can go back to
wherever bimbos come from,
or you can go to jail for
being his accomplice.
- That is an easy choice.
See ya.
Happy Valentine's day.
- Babette, babette.
- Well, greenthumb,
it looks like it's
just us lonely hearts.
- Won't be lonely for
long, black scorpion.
Lily!
Violet!
- Yes, greenthumb.
- Turn her into mulch.
- With pleasure.
- You two have been thorns
in my side long enough.
- Oh, no, no, no, not me.
Not me, you idiot, I created you.
- No, no, no!
- No, no, no!
- No, no, don't eat me, I'm your daddy.
Bad plant, bad plant.
- Don't worry, greenthumb.
Maybe you'll grow back in the spring.
- Then again, maybe not.
- The oxydendrons are cleaning the air.
Now, there's absolutely no
trace of gasp-for-airius
or apathetias.
Now, let's get back to work.
- It's worth a try.
- Yeah.
Cap, what are you
dating that thing, now?
- Valentine's day came and went,
and I still haven't
seen a single flower.
- I sell single flowers.
- Um, I'm a little short on cash.
- That's okay.
Who wants flowers anyway.
I'd rather have diamonds.
- Psst.
Psst.
Gimme a dozen.
On second thought,
better make that two.
Gimme my change.
You have a good day.
Here you go, baby.
- Thank you, baby.
- So, miss espinoza.
Do you, uh, type?
- No hablo ingles.
- Yeah, well, that's...
That's not essential.
One, final question.
How would you feel about
keeping secrets from my wife?
- Yo no se.
- You no say?
Perfect.
Got the job.
- Over my buxom body.
- Uh, babette, what are you doing here?
- I'd like to interview
for the position.
- Uh, I've no idea what
position you're referring to.
- Whatever position you'd like.
I'm very flexible.
- Au revoir, senorita.
- I don't think she understands French.
- Well, in that case,
sayonara, shalome, arrivederci, ciao.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
- happy belated Valentine's day.
- They're beautiful.
But I thought I was
just one of the guys.
- I treat you that way because...
- Because?
- Because if I didn't,
I would probably fall in love with you.
- Um,
I, uh,
I don't know what to say.
- Don't say anything.
- Gesundheit.
- I'm sorry.
Oh, no. - What's wrong?
- Oh, I think I caught
black scorpion's cold.
- Just my luck.
- Say, you don't have any chicken
soup, or anything, do you?
Sign here.
- I am highly allergic to flowers.
Get them out of here.
- Not my job.
- Miss peabody,
I want you to remove
these flowers at once.
- It's not my job either.
- Fine.
I'll get rid of them myself.
You people are...
- Welcome to first angel's
bank, can I help you?
- I've come to make a withdrawal.
- How much would you like?
- Everything.
- Everything in your account?
- No, everything in the bank.
- Yes, of course, Mr....
- Greenthumb's the name,
and these two lovely flowers are
tiger Lily, African Violet.
- Come, come, girls,
time to go to work.
We must rake in the green, rake it in.
Oh ho, ooh.
- What the hell is going on here?
- That guy in the funny
suit is robbing us.
- Don't just stand there!
Do something.
- Okay, I'll sit down.
- Are you crazy?
- Here, you hold this, it is heavy.
- Oh.
Oh.
You know, some poppy powder
might make you sleep.
- Yeah.
Nighty night.
- God bless you.
- Thank you.
Can't seem to shake this cold.
- Buy a rose for your sweetheart?
- This isn't my sweetheart,
she's just one of the guys.
- All units, robbery in progress
at first angel's bank,
suspects armed with plants?
- Did he say plants?
- Yeah.
Unit 2963 responding.
Let's go, it's a code seven.
- Okay, okay, I'm coming.
- Sir, your check?
- Oh, no, no, no, no.
Sorry, code seven, pal.
- Code seven?
- Yes.
- The cops.
- What do we do?
- Let's make like a tree and leave.
- Police! Freeze.
- Fire.
- In the light of day,
Darcy Walker is a cop.
But in the dark of night, she becomes
black scorpion.
Doing with a mask what she
can't do with a badge.
- Police! Freeze.
- I got the plant.
- I got the tree.
- You're under.
- Gesundheit.
- Cuff him, slugger.
- Ah, I gotta put that on
a list of things to do,
but I could really use a nap.
- Oh, there's too much
crime going on here, man.
- Steve, help me out.
- You know, darce, I'm
just feeling a little...
I think it's time for me to
take a little break over here.
- Oh, it seems that
your stuffed up nose
has made you immune to my
apathetias, detective.
- Apathetias?
- Yes, those wonderful droopy
plants you see everywhere.
- Look, the only green I'm
interested in is money.
Now, hand it over.
- Girls, you heard what the cop said.
Ooh,
ah.
Oh.
Aw.
Excellent, excellent work
my perfumed petunias.
- Activate auto-transform.
- Thumb up for that bank
job, my budding beauties.
- Greenthumb, you're the greatest!
- Yeah, you really
make my twigs twitch.
- Ooh, I love hearing
you talk dirty to me.
Uh-oh.
- What's wrong, greeny?
- Black scorpion.
- That pest.
- What are we gonna do?
- Well, we squash her like
the bug she really is.
- Look, we're making potholes.
- Ooh.
- Engage thermal shields.
- Yes!
- Whoa!
Allow me to recycle those for you.
Good work, good work.
Now, it's time to nip
this chase in the bud.
- Greenthumb.
- No, cut it.
Cut it. - Hey, hey.
What's wrong with it?
- You got a clogged air intake valve.
- Oops.
- Thanks, blue.
- Sorry, but I think I've got two.
- Girl, cover your mouth.
- Sorry, Veronica.
- Sorry's not gonna do my any good
if I can't smell the
big, beautiful bouquet
my argyle's gonna buy
me for Valentine's day.
- What?
- You heard me.
And no excuses about
how tight money is.
- It's not about the money, baby.
It's just I don't know
anything about flowers.
My thumb ain't green, it's black.
And besides, I already got you
a Valentine's day present.
- I don't remember any present.
- You don't remember that
new oil filter I got you?
- I had to pay for that.
- But I installed it for free.
- Men.
- I think you can do a lot better.
- A toast
to my beautiful apathetias.
- Yes.
- How come the fumes
didn't make us apathetic?
- Well, you just drank the
answer, my precious peach.
- We did?
- Mm-hmm.
This rosehips liquor
that we've been imbibing
for the past week
counteracts the effect
of the apathetias.
That's why we're able to rob the bank.
- So what are we gonna
do with all this green?
- Phase two of my plan.
- Well, don't leave us out on a limb.
- I'm going to launch a
massive ad campaign.
- Ah.
What are we selling?
- Gasp-for-airius, only a dime
a dozen for Valentine's day.
One sniff will leave
your lover breathless.
Available only at gardener's garden.
- Babbette,
order a dozen of those flowers.
Oh, what the hell.
At that price, order two dozen.
- How romantic.
- Well.
- Do you want to attach a card?
- Oh, good idea.
Take this down.
My dearest darling.
- Artie.
- After all these years together,
our love is still as fresh
and new as spring time.
- Aww, Artie.
- happy Valentine's day to my dear
wife.
- Wife?
- Well, I, I, I,
I hope you understand.
- I hope you understand what
the words not tonight mean.
- Babette?
- Ah.
With my fabulous commercials
playing around the clock,
it won't be long before
everything's coming up
gasp-for-airius.
- I never heard of gasp-for-airius.
- Yeah, what are they anyway?
- Well, why don't I just show you,
my curious chrysanthemums.
Right this way.
Either of you girls ever
heard of photosynthesis?
- Photo sin?
Does it have anything to do with
dirty pictures?
- Oh, no, no.
It has to do with carbon dioxide.
You see, plants suck in the
poisonous gases in the air,
and then emit the oxygen
that we all breath.
Now, I have created a plant that
does the same thing, except
in reverse.
In other words, it
sucks in the good air
and emits the poisonous gases.
Behold.
The
gasp-for-airius.
- But how are we gonna make
any money off of this.
We're only charging 10 cents a bouquet.
- Because the antidote
plant is very expensive.
- Antidote plant?
- Yes.
I call it
the oxydendron.
It emits oxygen back in
to the air we breath.
- How did you learn
how to grow all these
different kinds of plants?
- When you're born with
a thumb like this,
what would expect me to
do, become a dentist?
- You're a genius, greenie.
We'll make more money selling air
than we ever could robbing banks.
- I'm not in this for the money.
- Then why are you doing it?
- For love.
- Babette!
Babette, can I see you for a moment?
- There, you've seen me.
Happy? - No.
You've been avoiding me all day.
It gets lonely in here.
I need someone to talk to.
- Then talk to captain strickland.
- Strickland?
- He's on line one.
- You better have some good news
about those bank robberies.
- Well, sir, I, I don't.
The only thing the three banks
have in common are plants.
Greenthumb called them apathetias.
They seem to have some kind of pollen
that makes people passive.
- That's all you've got?
- Yes sir.
- Well,
until you've got more, don't
waste my precious mayoral time
with minor details.
- Well, um, I am sending Walker out
to check the local florist
to see if any of them carry apathetias.
Oh, Walker, get a dozen flowers
for my wife, will you?
You know, the ones with the weird name,
gasp-for-what-eous. - Well,
you better hope that she
comes up with a lead.
Because if you don't catch
this big thumb character,
the only thing you are
gonna catch is a cold
directing traffic.
- Oh Artie.
You sounded so forceful.
- Oh, does that mean
you've forgiven me?
- Oh, I can't help myself.
I just love it when you give orders.
- Oh, well, in that case,
order my wife flowers.
- I don't love it that much.
- Ow!
- Excuse me.
I'm detective Walker, I'm
looking for Eugene gardner.
- I'm Eugene.
- Oh, nice to meet you, Mr. gardner.
- Uh, yes, how may I help you?
- I'd like to ask you a few questions.
- Oh, I'm very busy
right now, you know,
business is blooming, as
we flowers like to say.
- This won't take long.
Do you know anything about greenthumb?
- Only what I read in the papers.
Why?
- We think some local flower shops
have been supplying
him with apathetias.
- Apathetias, why no such
plant exists in nature.
- Well, that's what
greenthumb called them.
- Well, maybe he was
cross pollinating, you know,
creating his own special species.
Just a theory, but I must, I'm so busy.
Thank you. - Of course.
Thanks for your time.
- Do you think she knows?
- Not yet.
But by the time she finds
out, it'll be too late.
By my calculations, 83%
of the city's households
have already ordered gasp-for-airius
for Valentine's day.
- We'll need to hire more delivery men.
- Mmm, that's true.
But right now, I need just two
to make a very special delivery,
tonight.
- Oh, they're the most beautiful
flowers I've ever seen.
- They're the most beautiful
flowers I've ever created.
I call them
amoratus.
Now, please, deliver
this to this address.
- Mayor worth's office?
You got a thing for authority figures?
- No, but I've got a thing
for someone who does.
- Well, what do you think?
- I like them over here.
- She won't notice them
unless they are on the desk.
- The desk is too obvious.
They belong on the mantle.
- One,
two
three,
shoot!
- Aw, shoot.
Mayor's working late.
- That can't be our mayor.
- Maybe somebody broke in.
- About 12, break-in
in the mayor's office,
yada, yada, yada.
Call the police.
- Phone number?
- 9-1-1.
- Roger that.
- Come in, unit two-niner-six-three.
- Yeah, go ahead, dispatch.
- Please respond to
break-in at city hall.
- Two-niner-six-three responding.
- What's going on?
- We are trying to decide
where the flowers look best.
I like them on the desk.
And I like them on the mantel.
- What do you think?
- The mantel.
- What are my options again?
- All right, pull over right over here.
I'm gonna go around the
back, go up the stairs.
You go in the front, use the elevator.
- Right behind you.
- I told you the mantel.
- I still say the desk.
- If anybody asks, we'll tell
them you're all tied up.
- Yeah, we heard it
through the grapevine.
- Freeze!
Police.
- Looks like greenthumb was right.
Cops are like weeds. - Yeah.
Always showing up where
you don't want them.
- What do you say we wack him?
- Ooh, yes.
- The mantel.
- Drop the weed whacker,
or you two will be pushing up daisies.
- Black scorpion.
- What do you say we transplant her?
- I'd rather mow her down.
- It's time you two flowers
turned over a new leaf.
- You're under arrest.
- You know you really need
to get a new pickup line.
- I'm not trying to pick you up.
I'm trying to take you down.
Ah!
God bless you. - Thank you.
And I'm sorry.
- For what?
- This.
- Are those flowers mum?
- Cap, they're not mums.
One's an African Violet, the
other one's a tiger Lily.
- Ah, you nincompoop, I
mean are they talking?
- I don't know.
- No, they're waiting
for their lawyers.
Some guy named Mr. green.
- I have a delivery for
captain strickland.
- Yeah, right here, here.
Must be there flowers I ordered.
- All right, we'll go get the rest.
- The rest, huh?
- Geez, all I'm saying is,
I would have caught black scorpion
if I had a little bit of backup.
- I told you the elevator got stuck.
Now, what was I supposed to do?
- I know what I would have done.
- What?
- You know, I think I would have,
I would have taken a
little, little break.
Time for a little r&R.
- Cap, how many of these
things you order?
- Just, just a dozen.
- Just a dozen, huh?
- Must have been a computer foul up.
- Yeah.
- Well,
who cares.
- Not me.
- Well, certainly not me.
- Steve, we've gotta get
these flowers outta here.
- Why?
They're apathetias. - So.
- Slugger, specs?
- Walker, Darcy?
We're on break.
- Me, too.
- Captain?
- Oh, don't look at me.
- Don't look at him.
- I'm thinking about retiring.
- Good idea, captain.
I think you oughta retire.
Cap?
- What?
- Where'd all the flowers go?
- I don't care.
- I think they're stolen.
- Greenthumb.
- Now that's what I call flower power.
- Oh, my goodness me.
I didn't know that violets
and lilies could thrive
in captivity.
- We're not thriving.
- We're wilting.
- Never fear my bosomy blossoms.
I'm green,
I'm mean,
and I'm on the scene.
- Are you gonna spring us, greenthumb?
- Yes, well, spring is
my favorite time of the year, you know.
- So, how are you gonna do it?
- Very simple.
By asking one of the
city of angels finest
to lend us a hand.
Pardon me, officer,
would you be so kind
as to give us the keys
to the handcuffs?
Oh, thank you very much.
Oh, there you are.
- Time to reap what
you sow, greenthumb.
- Oh, look, black scorpion.
- Black scorpion.
Sorry, but this bitter
harvest isn't mine.
It's yours.
Prune back her petals.
- Oh, yes.
- Oh, what a surprise.
It's very good on someone else.
Shall we? - Yes.
- Let's go.
- Should we be doing something?
- Nah.
- Maybe we should call the police.
- We are the police.
- All right, call yourself.
- Oh, my god, Artie.
- I know.
Look at the shambles.
- They're beautiful.
- Huh?
- Champs are my favorite.
You remembered. - I did?
I mean, well, of course I did.
- I'm sorry I ever doubted
your love for me.
- Well, now don't you feel silly?
- Actually, silly isn't
what I'm feeling at all.
- She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, she loves me not.
She loves me, ah.
- I don't get it.
Why did we risk jail delivering flowers
to that bimbo babette? - Yeah.
What's so special about her?
- What's so special?
She loves me.
Can't you see, she loves
me, and I've loved her
oh, as long as I can remember.
There you are, babette.
It's for you, happy Valentine's day.
- They're beautiful, thank you.
- Oh, but they're not as
beautiful as you are, babette,
my little Parisian pet. - Eugene.
- Babette, can I ask you something?
- Anything.
- Well,
if you're French, how come
you don't live in France?
- Well,
don't tell anyone, but
I'm not really French.
My real name is Agnes.
I changed it to babette
because it sounds more
classy, and sophisticated.
- But why are you worried
about being sophisticated?
- Because I wanna get
out of this little town
and be somebody someday. - Who?
- I don't know.
Maybe the wife of a
a doctor,
or a lawyer. - Or a florist?
- Maybe.
Eugene, can I ask you something?
- Anything.
- Why do always keep your
hand in your pocket?
- Well, I,
well, I don't keep this hand
in if you note, I mean.
It's an old...
There's an interesting
story about that,
but I, in fact, I was
thinking of telling you...
- gather around, gather around.
Ahem. - Well, it's a long story,
and, I've, uh... - my friends.
I promise you that if you elect me
there will be tax cuts,
real low,
plunging tax cuts.
And our government will
be in great shape.
Because
I believe in a
firm,
hard,
well-rounded government.
Thank you, thank you, thank you.
I have a campaign promise just for you.
- Babette, don't go.
- Sorry, Eugene.
This is my chance to be somebody.
- What are you saying?
- See you, happy Valentine's day.
- I'll be somebody someday.
Somebody real powerful.
More powerful
than him.
- That was the saddest
story I've ever heard.
- Please, cry no more,
my weeping willows.
For this story is going
to have a happy ending.
- It is?
- Yes.
When I take over the entire
air supply of the city,
and I control it,
then babette will see just
how powerful a man I am.
And I'll win her back
with the same flowers
she rejected me with.
- Not to mention ruining
Valentine's day for everyone else.
- Well, yeah, there's that.
- Yeah, I asked for a
table with a view.
- Oh this one does have a view
of better tables.
- Oh, so that's what happens
when you code seven a waiter.
- Well, any table with a view of my man
is good enough for me.
Happy Valentine's day, baby.
- Buy a bouquet for
your ladies, gentlemen?
- Uh, well, uh...
Argyle?
- Don't look at me, I'm allergic.
- To flowers?
- No, to spending money.
- But they're practically free.
Here.
Have a whiff.
- What, what do you say, baby?
- I don't feel so good.
- Uh, I don't either.
- Must be something going around.
- You feel it too?
- There's still no explanation
for the mysterious illness
that is sweeping our fair city.
- What is going on?
How come the whole city is sick?
- And why aren't we?
- Yeah.
- Because neither of you
ordered flowers for Valentine's day.
- You Mr. Mayor because
you're too cheap.
- Now, just hold on a minute.
- And you, lovely lady,
because
you're in love.
In love with someone from your past.
- The past?
- I resent you calling me cheap.
It's just that money's
been tight lately
because of my re-election campaign.
- You can campaign all you want,
but from now on, I'll be in
charge of running this city.
- The whole city?
- That's right.
How you may ask?
Go ahead, you may ask how.
- How?
- How?
- That's a good question.
The only way to counteract the
effect of my gasp-for-airius
is with my antidote
plant, the oxydendron.
Now, what does he want in
exchange, you may ask.
Go ahead, you may ask.
- What does he want?
- One billion dollars.
- That would make you the
richest man in the city.
- And the most powerful.
- Why, babette, are you all right?
You're shaking like a leaf.
- I'm just a little weak in the knees.
- Oh, well, that just means
that your root system
needs more nourishment.
- No, I just get this way
around powerful men.
- Oh, babette.
Go on,
my little Parisian pet.
- What did you call me?
- The same thing I've been
calling you all my life.
My little Parisian pet.
- Eugene.
- Eugene?
- Eugene gardner,
is it really you? - It is I.
- What happened to you?
- Well, let's just say I was
a late bloomer.
- I'll say.
- Babette, will you marry me?
Will you be my budding bride?
- Oh, yes, Eugene, yes.
- Babette?
- I'm sorry, Artie, but,
he's got me under his spell.
- You can send the billion
dollars to my flower shop
by midnight tonight.
Behold!
My greatest creation:
The Venus scorpion trap.
- Wow.
The leaves are so big.
- Yes.
It's a relative of the Venus flytrap.
It's grown with a special blend
of horse, goat, and bull fertilizer.
- It looks hungry.
- It is hungry
for black scorpion, ah!
- Ooh, it's horrible.
- Thank you.
- Strickland!
Strickland!
Strickland!
- Mayor worth?
- Is that you, detective Walker?
- What's wrong?
- Babette has left me for big thumb.
- Big thumb?
- Greenthumb.
- Sorry to hear that.
- But you got to help me get her back.
- Before or after I save the city?
- Oh, forget the city.
I must have babette.
- Mr. Mayor, I wouldn't even
know where to look for her.
- They're at gardner's gardens.
- How do you know that?
- Because that's where he told
me to deliver the ransom.
You see, greenthumb is
really Eugene gardner.
Detective, you've got
to get her back for me.
- Computer, auto transform.
- At last, my little Parisian pet.
The Valentine's day we never had.
- And you never will.
At least not for 10 to 20 years
without the possibility of parole.
- What do we do, Eugene?
- Oh, the choice is very
easy for you, babette.
You can go back to
wherever bimbos come from,
or you can go to jail for
being his accomplice.
- That is an easy choice.
See ya.
Happy Valentine's day.
- Babette, babette.
- Well, greenthumb,
it looks like it's
just us lonely hearts.
- Won't be lonely for
long, black scorpion.
Lily!
Violet!
- Yes, greenthumb.
- Turn her into mulch.
- With pleasure.
- You two have been thorns
in my side long enough.
- Oh, no, no, no, not me.
Not me, you idiot, I created you.
- No, no, no!
- No, no, no!
- No, no, don't eat me, I'm your daddy.
Bad plant, bad plant.
- Don't worry, greenthumb.
Maybe you'll grow back in the spring.
- Then again, maybe not.
- The oxydendrons are cleaning the air.
Now, there's absolutely no
trace of gasp-for-airius
or apathetias.
Now, let's get back to work.
- It's worth a try.
- Yeah.
Cap, what are you
dating that thing, now?
- Valentine's day came and went,
and I still haven't
seen a single flower.
- I sell single flowers.
- Um, I'm a little short on cash.
- That's okay.
Who wants flowers anyway.
I'd rather have diamonds.
- Psst.
Psst.
Gimme a dozen.
On second thought,
better make that two.
Gimme my change.
You have a good day.
Here you go, baby.
- Thank you, baby.
- So, miss espinoza.
Do you, uh, type?
- No hablo ingles.
- Yeah, well, that's...
That's not essential.
One, final question.
How would you feel about
keeping secrets from my wife?
- Yo no se.
- You no say?
Perfect.
Got the job.
- Over my buxom body.
- Uh, babette, what are you doing here?
- I'd like to interview
for the position.
- Uh, I've no idea what
position you're referring to.
- Whatever position you'd like.
I'm very flexible.
- Au revoir, senorita.
- I don't think she understands French.
- Well, in that case,
sayonara, shalome, arrivederci, ciao.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- What are you doing here?
- happy belated Valentine's day.
- They're beautiful.
But I thought I was
just one of the guys.
- I treat you that way because...
- Because?
- Because if I didn't,
I would probably fall in love with you.
- Um,
I, uh,
I don't know what to say.
- Don't say anything.
- Gesundheit.
- I'm sorry.
Oh, no. - What's wrong?
- Oh, I think I caught
black scorpion's cold.
- Just my luck.
- Say, you don't have any chicken
soup, or anything, do you?