Black Market: Dispatches (2016): Season 1, Episode 6 - Sugar Babies - full transcript
A new kind of dating is changing the rules of prostitution and romance.
They get into this lifestyle
of making quick money,
you know, and then they get
hooked on that money,
they get hooked
on that fast money.
The most I've ever gotten
in one month was 30 grand.
And is it all cash?
It's all cash, all the time.
Has that dating structure,
has it evolved? Yeah.
Three hours of my time
that most people would spend
on like, Facebook,
I spend on the site,
and then confirming a lunch date
and then getting money for it,
which is baller.
SeekingArrangement is
extremely empowering to women.
It tells women, you know,
you can date up,
you can move upwards
in your life.
But doesn't that
come at a price?
When the money and sex mix,
it can get complicated,
as Tania Rashid found out.
Can you stand up so I can see
what you look like, please?
Okay.
**
Our goal is just to
simply show the world a window
as to why people
do the things they do,
where that desperation
comes from.
**
It's like they say,
when the system fails you...
you create your own system.
**
**
It's a website that connects
older, wealthy men
to young, attractive girls.
SeekingArrangement works like
any dating site,
except here the men pay
for the women's companionship.
These men call themselves
Sugar Daddies
and the girls
their Sugar Babies.
I asked one of the Sugar Babies
what attracted her
to these relationships.
It's mostly I want to
experience, I want to travel,
and I want to be able
to go into ballet
and someone around my age
can't really do that.
Unless you're making
a certain amount,
honestly, you're
really skating by.
Sugar Daddies pay a monthly fee
to search the site for dates.
They meet up in person,
and if it works out,
the Sugar Babies receive
anything from money,
to gifts, to rent.
The site claims
to have over four million
registered Sugar Babies alone.
But I wanted to sign up myself
to find out what the true costs
are when your dating life
starts to look a lot like
prostitution.
My first stop
was SeekingArrangement's
Vegas headquarters,
where I met with the site's
PR and marketing team.
It's all about the quality
of companionship
that a Sugar Baby provides.
Instead of being kind of like
in your typical relationship
where the girl is asking,
"Why aren't you asking me
about like, how my day was?"
she's the one asking you
about how your day was.
She's being mild-mannered,
she's being entertaining.
Obviously, you're giving him a
reason to give you these things.
If you're being a spoiled brat,
he's not going to buy you,
you know, new shoes
or help you pay for school
if you're being a brat.
They told me
their target audience
is young women
with student loans to pay off.
And with the average graduate
saddled with $35,000 in debt
and most entry-level jobs
barely covering the rent,
it's not hard
to see the attraction.
So with some student debt
myself, I wanted to learn more.
You would never go out
on a date like that.
Angela invited me back
to her home
to help me create
a Sugar Baby profile.
I'll fix you up so that
you can look definitely
Sugar Daddy date-ready.
As a Sugar Daddy,
you can set rules
in your relationship,
like you can never get fat,
you can never be jealous if
I do decide to date other women,
you have to talk to me about these
topics when we see each other.
This only works if both
of you agree to the terms.
A Sugar Baby is a person
I'm going to be
in a relationship with.
I'm not looking for someone
who's trying to sell services.
What they're paying
for is a companionship.
Think of how you would describe
yourself in about five words.
Complicated.
I would avoid a word like that.
Why?
'Cause I'm complicated.
Means baggage.
Exotic.
Yeah, that's where I was going.
Exotic. Ivy. And bold.
I'm exotic. A lot of old
white men call me exotic.
Goodness.
You're...
Divorced.
We'll go with single.
Okay.
And you're probably not somebody
who's looking for
five grand every month
deposited in your bank account.
All or none, baby.
If -- if I'm going
to go on this,
I'm going to go hard.
Yeah. So,
we'll go with "high,"
and high means that
you're expecting
more than $10K every month.
All-or-none. Do you think
this is outlandish?
I would say "negotiable,"
because Sugar Daddies
are attracted to negotiable,
because they see
that as being open.
You have this down to a science.
Um, well, there's a reason
why we're Sugar Baby experts.
So far, it seemed harmless,
but how do you get from here
to actually having cash
in your hands?
I met up with Kandy
who's staying at a condo
in Downtown L.A.
The site's very obvious. It's like,
yeah, it's like rich or wealthier men,
you know what I mean, who are
willing to like, help you out.
I don't have the ability
to, like,
go to a parent or a relative,
you know, whenever I'm
in a financial situation,
like a bad situation
financially.
There's nothing much different
than the moms of Beverly Hills
who seek out the rich men
and have their kids
without loving them.
I think that's worse.
This is my friend's place
and I'm staying here
right now for a little while
until I can fully move
down here from Oregon.
Kandy hopes to make it
as a model
and she's using the money she
makes on SeekingArrangement
to support herself
while she chases the dream.
All right. We have furniture.
Being on the site's,
like, my little secret,
my little hustle, because people
just don't understand,
people aren't willing
to understand you
and what we do sometimes
just to make it,
you know, just to get to where
we need to be
to follow our dreams.
Like being in Oregon,
I was stuck.
Laurie Essig is
a professor of feminist studies.
She says SeekingArrangement
is a sign of the times.
There's all sorts
of forms of capital.
There's money, economic capital,
there's who you know,
social capital,
and erotic capital
is something that,
because we live in
a sexist culture,
young, normatively gendered
women have the most of.
And so women between 18 and 30
who are capitalizing
on this understand
that this is their
moment to do that.
And that's the dilemma you face.
If I just meet Mr. Right,
it'll be okay.
If I just meet the right
Sugar Daddy, it'll be okay.
Kandy agreed to take us
back to her home in Portland,
Oregon,
to show us how she makes money
off the site.
It was really easy, actually.
Three hours of my time
that most people would spend
on, like, Facebook,
I spend on the site,
and then confirming a lunch date
and then getting money
for it, which is baller.
Baller.
I just spent the last hour
with an author
and this was
on the table for me.
So, 140 bucks
for an hour of my time
and a free book.
This is the --
the smallest amount
that I've pretty much
ever received.
2, 4, 6, 8, 10,
500 bucks!
I knew how much he had given me,
because I know what
this feels like in 20s.
Dinner was amazing
and the guy was super-young.
He was actually the youngest guy
I think I've ever met
from the site.
Thank you, adorable,
generous men
for helping me live my life.
Kandy made over $1,000 in cash
in just three dates.
She's figured out
she can make money
just by going out to dinner
and then never
seeing them again.
But for most Sugar Babies,
dinner is just the beginning.
**
**
that helps young women
find Sugar Daddies
who are willing
to pay to date them
and even though the service
sounds like prostitution,
a lot of women say
the site allows them
to date on their own terms.
In Las Vegas,
I met up with Chelsea,
who's made a career
out of being a Sugar Baby.
This apartment is amazing.
It's 100% taken care
of by a Sugar Daddy.
So you got a car
out of this guy, too?
Yeah.
It's a Mercedes-Benz.
- Isn't this so cool?
- Amazing.
I'm right in downtown,
living the downtown life.
I wake up every morning
and I'm like, where am I?
It's like I'm in heaven
or something.
Why do you have a picture
of Nixon on the wall?
That is a question that I would
love to know the answer to myself.
My Sugar Daddy
wanted that on the wall.
When did you move here?
Um, literally like six days ago.
It's a lot different
dating men and living,
like, this glamorous lifestyle
when you were married
in Montana.
I was like
the stay-at-home mom before,
so it's a lot different.
What made you aim so high?
I came across this girl's blog
and she had the --
this great car and this great
life and all these clothes.
And I was like, I want that.
So I spend all my time
putting into these relationships
as if they were a job.
Why are you speaking
in the plural about it?
Because I have multiple
Sugar Daddies.
How many?
I have a dozen full-time
Sugar Daddies.
I wouldn't even say this guy
is my main Sugar Daddy.
There has to be some
sexual strings attached.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm like open to like,
being like, kinky
and trying different things.
Like what?
What's the weirdest?
It's so gross.
Just tell me.
The weirdest thing
that I've ever encountered
is one of my Sugar Daddies
has this thing about
drinking his own semen,
and it's so disgusting for me
to even, like, handle it.
If you want to be
a serial Sugar Dater,
then that's kind of
what you're doing.
Like, props to the girls
that find one guy
that gives them 10 grand a month
and they're happy with that.
That's awesome.
How much do you get per month?
The most I've ever gotten
in one month was 30 grand.
And is it all cash?
It's all cash, all the time.
Do you feel like
you're selling your body?
Yeah. I do.
That's why I would go
as far as to say that,
if you are a Sugar Baby, then
you are in the sex industry.
These guys think that if they're
giving us something,
that we're going to play
that submissive role.
They want to spank you?
Sometimes it's way beyond that.
Gag you?
Tie you up, choke you.
It's... yeah.
Then what keeps you going?
The addiction to the money.
Got to look your best when
you go out with these guys,
whether you really want
to go or not.
Um, that's kind
of the name of the game
is looking good, so...
This guy, I don't really
enjoy time with him at all.
And I'm not really out to make
them happy in our transaction.
I -- it's an act, you know?
Um, I manipulate them
for money, in a sense.
As terrible as it sounds,
I enrapt them with the idea
of, I really care about you.
And it might be fake,
but they don't know that.
So in some ways, it's a game.
You give me what I want,
I'll give you what you want.
But I wanted to find out
if these arrangements
ever cross into the realm
of prostitution
in the eyes of the law,
so I ask a lawyer with
experience in sex work cases.
What do you know
about Sugar Babies?
My understand is that
it's companionship
in exchange for
essentially money.
They're going to pay for,
you know, your lifestyle
or activities
that you might be interested in
and the exchange is that you
provide companionship
for the Sugar Daddy.
You were talking
about this gray area.
There is a fine line
and that's kind of
what I want to know about.
The fine line is sex.
Essentially if you're
paying for touching
or sex or some sort of sexual
activity, that's prostitution.
So I think that's where
SeekingArrangement
is defining themselves.
So what you're paying for
is companionship,
not for the sex.
I'm sure that on this site,
there are people that are
engaging in prostitution,
the question is, is that
the design of the site?
It turns out I got some hits
on the profile I set up earlier,
so I set up a call
with one of the guys
to see what I was
getting myself into.
Here we go. He's calling.
Hello there, Tania.
How are you?
Hi.
Hello there, Tania.
How are you?
I'm good. How are you? Sorry,
my messy closet is showing.
That's okay.
I'm on a Skype call
with a Sugar Daddy
and I'm pretty nervous about it.
So do I have your permission
to be very, very blunt and up front?
Absolutely.
What I'm looking for is
somebody that can, um,
totally curl my toes,
um, pique my interests,
blow me away,
and I have very, very specific
sexual needs and likes.
Oral is my hot button.
Need that, like that,
want that, have to have it,
but you have to,
A, love doing it,
B, truly be gifted in skills.
So how much would you
pay for an oral?
I'm not looking for
a professional or an escort,
I'm looking for somebody I see,
when we get together,
she does receive benefits.
I can tell you what
I've done in the past
when I was with somebody
who was in New York.
It would be a few hundred
dollars, $300, $400,
something like that.
We would get together.
We would hang out,
and she would do that.
Well, I guess I'm good.
I mean, we'd have to see.
Can you stand up so I can see
what you look like, please?
Okay.
Your very purple dress.
Yes, it's my purple dress.
I just came out of yoga class.
How is your Downward Dog doing?
It's good.
How familiar are you
if at all with tantra
or the tantric techniques
of lovemaking?
Not that familiar.
You're honest.
Well, nice to talk to you,
and...
Nice to talk to you.
Okay. You keep working
on that Downward Dog.
I will.
Take care.
He made me feel
really uncomfortable.
Especially when he had me --
had me stand up,
that made me feel really weird.
My first experience in the world
of Sugar Daddies
was pretty awkward and I
wondered how bad it could get.
So I headed to Colorado Springs
to meet with Allie,
a long-time Sugar Baby
who recently moved here
from L.A.
It's a culture shock,
it really is.
It's a different world.
You go from Hollywood people
to preachers,
um, politicians.
The problem is
a lot of the guys here
don't understand
the monthly allowance thing,
they only think
of like pay-for-play,
which is you're paid
each time you go out,
which is more like prostitution.
So why did you choose this?
I couldn't find a job and
somebody offered me this life.
And I could do things I wanted
and not worry about money,
which, you know, I grew up
very poor, so that was nice.
So my profile,
it doesn't say submissive,
but it reads like it is.
Like that girl
is very, you know...
"She'll do what I want."
Whatever you want. Exactly.
So most of the relationships
I'm in are like
dominant/submissive type things,
'cause they read that part.
And 99.9% of them
are very respectful.
How many disrespectful ones
have you encountered?
Maybe the one.
I got really intoxicated
one night and just --
just bad things happened.
What happened?
Um, well,
I awoke to having cigarettes
put out on me.
What?
On my arms and my chest.
Where?
And...
My God.
Yeah, so,
they're pretty gnarly.
That one right there
is when I woke up.
But you can see that there's
tons more on my arms.
So you woke up and you saw
what, blisters, sores?
No, I saw a guy putting
a cigarette out on me.
He was putting it on you?
Yeah, while I was, like in a --
like, I immediately got --
shot up and was like,
"I got to get out of here.
Pay me, and I'm leaving."
I was on share.
That's when your SD
lends you out to someone.
You were lended out?
Yeah. It's kind of like when you
borrow a book from someone
and it comes back and it's
all torn up and everything.
You don't want to do that.
I have scars on my skin.
I didn't used to have those.
So, for that, I didn't want
to be shared anymore
and I haven't been since.
But isn't it a constant
reminder to have these?
I stopped looking
at them that way.
'Cause you have to or else
you're going to get sad.
So I just started looking at 'em
and as like, wisdom spots.
'Cause I did learn
something from it.
It did make me wiser.
If you could speak to a girl
just starting
SeekingArrangement,
what would you tell her?
Don't.
Um, it's incredibly lonely.
A lot of people don't want
to be your friend
when they find out what you do.
Even if you pay for everything,
they don't want be your friend.
You know, you take
very long showers.
Very long showers, just to,
like, get rid of all of it.
And then you just have
to remember that --
what you're doing it for.
What are you doing it for?
Survival.
This is what it takes.
And it's a sad reality, but...
You do what you got to do.
Allie's experience
was difficult to hear,
but I wanted to see for myself
what it takes to make it
in this world.
I'm in the office
on a Sunday afternoon,
because I'm about to go on
a date with a Sugar Daddy.
He's a 42-year-old man
who is worth $10 million.
So I'm going to go in about
an hour to see how it goes.
So I get there, I get our table,
and he's this really
handsome guy,
but extremely awkward.
So then we finish dinner,
go outside,
he pays for my valet,
and then I see some more money
coming out of his wallet.
And he looks really awkward
and he's like, "Here."
Money!
$80, $100, $120.
$120.
It's so emotionally exhausting.
He asked me all these
questions about me,
my life, what I do,
what I did today.
It's like being
in a relationship,
but then you're not really
connected to the person.
It's been two weeks
since I first met Chelsea.
She had been living large
on the Vegas Strip.
But a few days ago,
she broke it off
with one of her Sugar Daddies
who was paying for her condo.
Now she's living with a friend.
I left the crazy
Sugar Daddy's condo
and the Mercedes and everything
and I left that all behind,
because it wasn't
worth it with him.
He was really controlling.
The big plan is like, you know,
to network and get somebody
that, you know,
changes our life.
I don't always sleep at night
over some of the stuff
that I do,
but I'm obsessed with it.
I don't know how to stop.
Critics of SeekingArrangement
say the site takes advantage
of women like Chelsea,
getting them hooked on a life
that is ultimately
self-destructive.
But SeekingArrangement founder
and CEO Brandon Wade
is quick to defend his company.
SeekingArrangement is extremely
empowering to women.
It tells women, you know,
you can date up,
you can move upwards
in your life.
But doesn't that
come at a price?
Everything comes at a price.
I mean, in -- in life,
you compromise, right,
but at the same time,
anyone on the website
can always say no.
If you're an escort,
you have to sleep
with your client,
no matter how disgusted
you are with him.
If you're not attracted to him,
if he's rude to you,
just say no, walk away.
I think you are selling
the dream to me very well.
But then when I'm on the site,
I see a very dark world.
Darkness exists
in every society.
So really use your common sense,
understand what you want,
say no to the people
who don't meet your criteria.
If you play by those rules,
you will find the one
you're looking for.
It's not the person
that I really want to be.
'Cause like, I was raised
really, really good.
And like, if somebody said
you were going to be doing this,
I would say you're crazy.
I would never go that far
for material things.
We seek it all over our culture
and so it infects all aspects
of our intimate lives
that we just think
we have to spend more
and more and more, and in fact,
our happiness is less
and less and less.
Because what we really
need to be happy
are some pretty basic
social changes
of taking care of each other.
And that's what we don't have.
And we really don't have it
when there are these --
excuse me for saying it, but
rich, greedy bastards at the top
who are not only
exploiting us at work,
but exploiting us
in the bedroom, too,
by creating these relationships
where their money
can buy our subservience.
But not all Sugar Babies
find these arrangements
to be exploitative.
Nothing like some pizza
by the pool.
Well, our generation,
my generation is not playing
by the old rules.
We're doing it how we want now.
And for other people,
they're like, you know,
this is wrong
or we don't understand it.
Yeah, you don't understand it,
because you're not
involving yourself in it.
I've come to conquer L.A.!
Whoo!
**
In the past two years,
the number of Sugar Babies
on SeekingArrangement
has doubled and every day,
more than 4,000 young women
around the world sign up
on the site
hoping to offer
their companionship
in exchange for some easy money.
of making quick money,
you know, and then they get
hooked on that money,
they get hooked
on that fast money.
The most I've ever gotten
in one month was 30 grand.
And is it all cash?
It's all cash, all the time.
Has that dating structure,
has it evolved? Yeah.
Three hours of my time
that most people would spend
on like, Facebook,
I spend on the site,
and then confirming a lunch date
and then getting money for it,
which is baller.
SeekingArrangement is
extremely empowering to women.
It tells women, you know,
you can date up,
you can move upwards
in your life.
But doesn't that
come at a price?
When the money and sex mix,
it can get complicated,
as Tania Rashid found out.
Can you stand up so I can see
what you look like, please?
Okay.
**
Our goal is just to
simply show the world a window
as to why people
do the things they do,
where that desperation
comes from.
**
It's like they say,
when the system fails you...
you create your own system.
**
**
It's a website that connects
older, wealthy men
to young, attractive girls.
SeekingArrangement works like
any dating site,
except here the men pay
for the women's companionship.
These men call themselves
Sugar Daddies
and the girls
their Sugar Babies.
I asked one of the Sugar Babies
what attracted her
to these relationships.
It's mostly I want to
experience, I want to travel,
and I want to be able
to go into ballet
and someone around my age
can't really do that.
Unless you're making
a certain amount,
honestly, you're
really skating by.
Sugar Daddies pay a monthly fee
to search the site for dates.
They meet up in person,
and if it works out,
the Sugar Babies receive
anything from money,
to gifts, to rent.
The site claims
to have over four million
registered Sugar Babies alone.
But I wanted to sign up myself
to find out what the true costs
are when your dating life
starts to look a lot like
prostitution.
My first stop
was SeekingArrangement's
Vegas headquarters,
where I met with the site's
PR and marketing team.
It's all about the quality
of companionship
that a Sugar Baby provides.
Instead of being kind of like
in your typical relationship
where the girl is asking,
"Why aren't you asking me
about like, how my day was?"
she's the one asking you
about how your day was.
She's being mild-mannered,
she's being entertaining.
Obviously, you're giving him a
reason to give you these things.
If you're being a spoiled brat,
he's not going to buy you,
you know, new shoes
or help you pay for school
if you're being a brat.
They told me
their target audience
is young women
with student loans to pay off.
And with the average graduate
saddled with $35,000 in debt
and most entry-level jobs
barely covering the rent,
it's not hard
to see the attraction.
So with some student debt
myself, I wanted to learn more.
You would never go out
on a date like that.
Angela invited me back
to her home
to help me create
a Sugar Baby profile.
I'll fix you up so that
you can look definitely
Sugar Daddy date-ready.
As a Sugar Daddy,
you can set rules
in your relationship,
like you can never get fat,
you can never be jealous if
I do decide to date other women,
you have to talk to me about these
topics when we see each other.
This only works if both
of you agree to the terms.
A Sugar Baby is a person
I'm going to be
in a relationship with.
I'm not looking for someone
who's trying to sell services.
What they're paying
for is a companionship.
Think of how you would describe
yourself in about five words.
Complicated.
I would avoid a word like that.
Why?
'Cause I'm complicated.
Means baggage.
Exotic.
Yeah, that's where I was going.
Exotic. Ivy. And bold.
I'm exotic. A lot of old
white men call me exotic.
Goodness.
You're...
Divorced.
We'll go with single.
Okay.
And you're probably not somebody
who's looking for
five grand every month
deposited in your bank account.
All or none, baby.
If -- if I'm going
to go on this,
I'm going to go hard.
Yeah. So,
we'll go with "high,"
and high means that
you're expecting
more than $10K every month.
All-or-none. Do you think
this is outlandish?
I would say "negotiable,"
because Sugar Daddies
are attracted to negotiable,
because they see
that as being open.
You have this down to a science.
Um, well, there's a reason
why we're Sugar Baby experts.
So far, it seemed harmless,
but how do you get from here
to actually having cash
in your hands?
I met up with Kandy
who's staying at a condo
in Downtown L.A.
The site's very obvious. It's like,
yeah, it's like rich or wealthier men,
you know what I mean, who are
willing to like, help you out.
I don't have the ability
to, like,
go to a parent or a relative,
you know, whenever I'm
in a financial situation,
like a bad situation
financially.
There's nothing much different
than the moms of Beverly Hills
who seek out the rich men
and have their kids
without loving them.
I think that's worse.
This is my friend's place
and I'm staying here
right now for a little while
until I can fully move
down here from Oregon.
Kandy hopes to make it
as a model
and she's using the money she
makes on SeekingArrangement
to support herself
while she chases the dream.
All right. We have furniture.
Being on the site's,
like, my little secret,
my little hustle, because people
just don't understand,
people aren't willing
to understand you
and what we do sometimes
just to make it,
you know, just to get to where
we need to be
to follow our dreams.
Like being in Oregon,
I was stuck.
Laurie Essig is
a professor of feminist studies.
She says SeekingArrangement
is a sign of the times.
There's all sorts
of forms of capital.
There's money, economic capital,
there's who you know,
social capital,
and erotic capital
is something that,
because we live in
a sexist culture,
young, normatively gendered
women have the most of.
And so women between 18 and 30
who are capitalizing
on this understand
that this is their
moment to do that.
And that's the dilemma you face.
If I just meet Mr. Right,
it'll be okay.
If I just meet the right
Sugar Daddy, it'll be okay.
Kandy agreed to take us
back to her home in Portland,
Oregon,
to show us how she makes money
off the site.
It was really easy, actually.
Three hours of my time
that most people would spend
on, like, Facebook,
I spend on the site,
and then confirming a lunch date
and then getting money
for it, which is baller.
Baller.
I just spent the last hour
with an author
and this was
on the table for me.
So, 140 bucks
for an hour of my time
and a free book.
This is the --
the smallest amount
that I've pretty much
ever received.
2, 4, 6, 8, 10,
500 bucks!
I knew how much he had given me,
because I know what
this feels like in 20s.
Dinner was amazing
and the guy was super-young.
He was actually the youngest guy
I think I've ever met
from the site.
Thank you, adorable,
generous men
for helping me live my life.
Kandy made over $1,000 in cash
in just three dates.
She's figured out
she can make money
just by going out to dinner
and then never
seeing them again.
But for most Sugar Babies,
dinner is just the beginning.
**
**
that helps young women
find Sugar Daddies
who are willing
to pay to date them
and even though the service
sounds like prostitution,
a lot of women say
the site allows them
to date on their own terms.
In Las Vegas,
I met up with Chelsea,
who's made a career
out of being a Sugar Baby.
This apartment is amazing.
It's 100% taken care
of by a Sugar Daddy.
So you got a car
out of this guy, too?
Yeah.
It's a Mercedes-Benz.
- Isn't this so cool?
- Amazing.
I'm right in downtown,
living the downtown life.
I wake up every morning
and I'm like, where am I?
It's like I'm in heaven
or something.
Why do you have a picture
of Nixon on the wall?
That is a question that I would
love to know the answer to myself.
My Sugar Daddy
wanted that on the wall.
When did you move here?
Um, literally like six days ago.
It's a lot different
dating men and living,
like, this glamorous lifestyle
when you were married
in Montana.
I was like
the stay-at-home mom before,
so it's a lot different.
What made you aim so high?
I came across this girl's blog
and she had the --
this great car and this great
life and all these clothes.
And I was like, I want that.
So I spend all my time
putting into these relationships
as if they were a job.
Why are you speaking
in the plural about it?
Because I have multiple
Sugar Daddies.
How many?
I have a dozen full-time
Sugar Daddies.
I wouldn't even say this guy
is my main Sugar Daddy.
There has to be some
sexual strings attached.
Yeah, absolutely.
I'm like open to like,
being like, kinky
and trying different things.
Like what?
What's the weirdest?
It's so gross.
Just tell me.
The weirdest thing
that I've ever encountered
is one of my Sugar Daddies
has this thing about
drinking his own semen,
and it's so disgusting for me
to even, like, handle it.
If you want to be
a serial Sugar Dater,
then that's kind of
what you're doing.
Like, props to the girls
that find one guy
that gives them 10 grand a month
and they're happy with that.
That's awesome.
How much do you get per month?
The most I've ever gotten
in one month was 30 grand.
And is it all cash?
It's all cash, all the time.
Do you feel like
you're selling your body?
Yeah. I do.
That's why I would go
as far as to say that,
if you are a Sugar Baby, then
you are in the sex industry.
These guys think that if they're
giving us something,
that we're going to play
that submissive role.
They want to spank you?
Sometimes it's way beyond that.
Gag you?
Tie you up, choke you.
It's... yeah.
Then what keeps you going?
The addiction to the money.
Got to look your best when
you go out with these guys,
whether you really want
to go or not.
Um, that's kind
of the name of the game
is looking good, so...
This guy, I don't really
enjoy time with him at all.
And I'm not really out to make
them happy in our transaction.
I -- it's an act, you know?
Um, I manipulate them
for money, in a sense.
As terrible as it sounds,
I enrapt them with the idea
of, I really care about you.
And it might be fake,
but they don't know that.
So in some ways, it's a game.
You give me what I want,
I'll give you what you want.
But I wanted to find out
if these arrangements
ever cross into the realm
of prostitution
in the eyes of the law,
so I ask a lawyer with
experience in sex work cases.
What do you know
about Sugar Babies?
My understand is that
it's companionship
in exchange for
essentially money.
They're going to pay for,
you know, your lifestyle
or activities
that you might be interested in
and the exchange is that you
provide companionship
for the Sugar Daddy.
You were talking
about this gray area.
There is a fine line
and that's kind of
what I want to know about.
The fine line is sex.
Essentially if you're
paying for touching
or sex or some sort of sexual
activity, that's prostitution.
So I think that's where
SeekingArrangement
is defining themselves.
So what you're paying for
is companionship,
not for the sex.
I'm sure that on this site,
there are people that are
engaging in prostitution,
the question is, is that
the design of the site?
It turns out I got some hits
on the profile I set up earlier,
so I set up a call
with one of the guys
to see what I was
getting myself into.
Here we go. He's calling.
Hello there, Tania.
How are you?
Hi.
Hello there, Tania.
How are you?
I'm good. How are you? Sorry,
my messy closet is showing.
That's okay.
I'm on a Skype call
with a Sugar Daddy
and I'm pretty nervous about it.
So do I have your permission
to be very, very blunt and up front?
Absolutely.
What I'm looking for is
somebody that can, um,
totally curl my toes,
um, pique my interests,
blow me away,
and I have very, very specific
sexual needs and likes.
Oral is my hot button.
Need that, like that,
want that, have to have it,
but you have to,
A, love doing it,
B, truly be gifted in skills.
So how much would you
pay for an oral?
I'm not looking for
a professional or an escort,
I'm looking for somebody I see,
when we get together,
she does receive benefits.
I can tell you what
I've done in the past
when I was with somebody
who was in New York.
It would be a few hundred
dollars, $300, $400,
something like that.
We would get together.
We would hang out,
and she would do that.
Well, I guess I'm good.
I mean, we'd have to see.
Can you stand up so I can see
what you look like, please?
Okay.
Your very purple dress.
Yes, it's my purple dress.
I just came out of yoga class.
How is your Downward Dog doing?
It's good.
How familiar are you
if at all with tantra
or the tantric techniques
of lovemaking?
Not that familiar.
You're honest.
Well, nice to talk to you,
and...
Nice to talk to you.
Okay. You keep working
on that Downward Dog.
I will.
Take care.
He made me feel
really uncomfortable.
Especially when he had me --
had me stand up,
that made me feel really weird.
My first experience in the world
of Sugar Daddies
was pretty awkward and I
wondered how bad it could get.
So I headed to Colorado Springs
to meet with Allie,
a long-time Sugar Baby
who recently moved here
from L.A.
It's a culture shock,
it really is.
It's a different world.
You go from Hollywood people
to preachers,
um, politicians.
The problem is
a lot of the guys here
don't understand
the monthly allowance thing,
they only think
of like pay-for-play,
which is you're paid
each time you go out,
which is more like prostitution.
So why did you choose this?
I couldn't find a job and
somebody offered me this life.
And I could do things I wanted
and not worry about money,
which, you know, I grew up
very poor, so that was nice.
So my profile,
it doesn't say submissive,
but it reads like it is.
Like that girl
is very, you know...
"She'll do what I want."
Whatever you want. Exactly.
So most of the relationships
I'm in are like
dominant/submissive type things,
'cause they read that part.
And 99.9% of them
are very respectful.
How many disrespectful ones
have you encountered?
Maybe the one.
I got really intoxicated
one night and just --
just bad things happened.
What happened?
Um, well,
I awoke to having cigarettes
put out on me.
What?
On my arms and my chest.
Where?
And...
My God.
Yeah, so,
they're pretty gnarly.
That one right there
is when I woke up.
But you can see that there's
tons more on my arms.
So you woke up and you saw
what, blisters, sores?
No, I saw a guy putting
a cigarette out on me.
He was putting it on you?
Yeah, while I was, like in a --
like, I immediately got --
shot up and was like,
"I got to get out of here.
Pay me, and I'm leaving."
I was on share.
That's when your SD
lends you out to someone.
You were lended out?
Yeah. It's kind of like when you
borrow a book from someone
and it comes back and it's
all torn up and everything.
You don't want to do that.
I have scars on my skin.
I didn't used to have those.
So, for that, I didn't want
to be shared anymore
and I haven't been since.
But isn't it a constant
reminder to have these?
I stopped looking
at them that way.
'Cause you have to or else
you're going to get sad.
So I just started looking at 'em
and as like, wisdom spots.
'Cause I did learn
something from it.
It did make me wiser.
If you could speak to a girl
just starting
SeekingArrangement,
what would you tell her?
Don't.
Um, it's incredibly lonely.
A lot of people don't want
to be your friend
when they find out what you do.
Even if you pay for everything,
they don't want be your friend.
You know, you take
very long showers.
Very long showers, just to,
like, get rid of all of it.
And then you just have
to remember that --
what you're doing it for.
What are you doing it for?
Survival.
This is what it takes.
And it's a sad reality, but...
You do what you got to do.
Allie's experience
was difficult to hear,
but I wanted to see for myself
what it takes to make it
in this world.
I'm in the office
on a Sunday afternoon,
because I'm about to go on
a date with a Sugar Daddy.
He's a 42-year-old man
who is worth $10 million.
So I'm going to go in about
an hour to see how it goes.
So I get there, I get our table,
and he's this really
handsome guy,
but extremely awkward.
So then we finish dinner,
go outside,
he pays for my valet,
and then I see some more money
coming out of his wallet.
And he looks really awkward
and he's like, "Here."
Money!
$80, $100, $120.
$120.
It's so emotionally exhausting.
He asked me all these
questions about me,
my life, what I do,
what I did today.
It's like being
in a relationship,
but then you're not really
connected to the person.
It's been two weeks
since I first met Chelsea.
She had been living large
on the Vegas Strip.
But a few days ago,
she broke it off
with one of her Sugar Daddies
who was paying for her condo.
Now she's living with a friend.
I left the crazy
Sugar Daddy's condo
and the Mercedes and everything
and I left that all behind,
because it wasn't
worth it with him.
He was really controlling.
The big plan is like, you know,
to network and get somebody
that, you know,
changes our life.
I don't always sleep at night
over some of the stuff
that I do,
but I'm obsessed with it.
I don't know how to stop.
Critics of SeekingArrangement
say the site takes advantage
of women like Chelsea,
getting them hooked on a life
that is ultimately
self-destructive.
But SeekingArrangement founder
and CEO Brandon Wade
is quick to defend his company.
SeekingArrangement is extremely
empowering to women.
It tells women, you know,
you can date up,
you can move upwards
in your life.
But doesn't that
come at a price?
Everything comes at a price.
I mean, in -- in life,
you compromise, right,
but at the same time,
anyone on the website
can always say no.
If you're an escort,
you have to sleep
with your client,
no matter how disgusted
you are with him.
If you're not attracted to him,
if he's rude to you,
just say no, walk away.
I think you are selling
the dream to me very well.
But then when I'm on the site,
I see a very dark world.
Darkness exists
in every society.
So really use your common sense,
understand what you want,
say no to the people
who don't meet your criteria.
If you play by those rules,
you will find the one
you're looking for.
It's not the person
that I really want to be.
'Cause like, I was raised
really, really good.
And like, if somebody said
you were going to be doing this,
I would say you're crazy.
I would never go that far
for material things.
We seek it all over our culture
and so it infects all aspects
of our intimate lives
that we just think
we have to spend more
and more and more, and in fact,
our happiness is less
and less and less.
Because what we really
need to be happy
are some pretty basic
social changes
of taking care of each other.
And that's what we don't have.
And we really don't have it
when there are these --
excuse me for saying it, but
rich, greedy bastards at the top
who are not only
exploiting us at work,
but exploiting us
in the bedroom, too,
by creating these relationships
where their money
can buy our subservience.
But not all Sugar Babies
find these arrangements
to be exploitative.
Nothing like some pizza
by the pool.
Well, our generation,
my generation is not playing
by the old rules.
We're doing it how we want now.
And for other people,
they're like, you know,
this is wrong
or we don't understand it.
Yeah, you don't understand it,
because you're not
involving yourself in it.
I've come to conquer L.A.!
Whoo!
**
In the past two years,
the number of Sugar Babies
on SeekingArrangement
has doubled and every day,
more than 4,000 young women
around the world sign up
on the site
hoping to offer
their companionship
in exchange for some easy money.