Black-ish (2014–…): Season 7, Episode 3 - Hero Pizza - full transcript

Everyone loves summer.

It's when the whole family gets
to travel, see concerts,

and take in the wonders
of the world.

And 2020 was the greatest
summer of the Johnsons' lives.

I'm playing.

You know we haven't done
a damn thing since corona hit.

The virus literally said,

"Y'all better stay
your Black ass inside

before I whoop y'all ass."

And we did.

Coming into the year,
I didn't think



some virus half a world away
was gonna be a big deal.

But then March hit.

And it's official.
The NBA will be the first

major sport to shut down.

Damn you, Rudy Gobert!

This is all your fault,
you nasty‐ass French bastard!

It was a dark time,

but I had to admit ‐‐
I was lucky to have my job.

And best of all, I formed
a tighter bond with my family.

Earl,
is my negligee dry yet?

Why don't you drag
that wagon in here

and see for yourself?
Nothing brings you closer

than experiencing
a shared trauma.

Like watching my mom and Pops



treat quarantine
like a honeymoon.

Come on, girl,
let's get to folding.

So we were
getting through it.

Dr. Rainbow Johnson
was working on the front lines,

but she didn't let that
slow her down.

I finally
got off of work,

and I got everybody
dinner!

Okay, that's, uh ‐‐
that's nice, babe,

but I think we're gonna,
uh ‐‐

I think we're gonna
eat cereal for dinner.

Ohh...come on, babe.

I've got six bags
of sushi!

Your heart is in
the right place,

but, uh, nobody
wants to eat your ‐‐

your nasty corona food.

And remember,
before you come in...

hose off.
Uh‐huh, of course.

You know what, it's fine!
Means there's more for me!

I've always wanted to drink
a gallon of miso soup!

Good morning, everyone.

Good morning.
Ah, there she is...

our American hero.

It doesn't have to be 7:00
for me to applaud you.
Thank you.

God, I love that.
Mm.

A‐Are you still doing this,
son?

Still clapping
for my mother

who is fighting
a deadly virus?

I will never grow tired of
honoring your sacrifices, Mom,

unlike this one. Right?
Hmm. Talk to me.

I honor your mama
every night

she allows me to.
Junior, it's okay.

Alright.
I know how you support me.

You don't need to clap
out loud.

You can clap
in your heart.

You don't mean that.

No, I don't.
Let me hear it!

Go, go! Hey!
Hey! Hey!

Hey! I'm essential!
I'm essential! Hey!

Don't do that.
C'mon, man...

I am sorry, Dad.

I am just proud
to be the son

of an essential worker.
Yep.

Two...essential workers.

Two?
Mm‐hmm.

Where? Where?

Me.

You?
Oh.

Yes. Yes, me.

Oh. Oh!

I gotta get this.

It is Olivia.

We have been doing
pandemic video dates...

Hi, Olivia!
Hey, girl. What's up?

Are you trying to get her
to break up with you?

‐Leave him alone.
‐Oh, oh, hey! Hey!

Olivia! Olivia.

Would you consider

a senior advertising
executive

an essential worker?

No. Not at all.

Why would you even
ask me that?

Hmm.

‐Sorry, sweetheart.
‐What does she know?

She dates Junior.

Look, I make inspirational
commercials

that give people hope.
Mm‐hmm.

You mean to tell me
that's not essential?

Essential to maintaining

the basic needs
of society?

Let me think on that.

No.

Of all the haters
out there,

I would have never thought
that you would become one.
Ah.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I've got to get to
my essential job

where I place a blanket

on the shoulders
of America.

Um, Dre.

Essential workers

do not wear basketball shorts
on the job.

Usually I have time
to stop by Starbucks

and get my caramel Frapp
to take my mind off home drama,

but my five‐second
COVID commute changed that.

You guys are never
gonna believe this.

My family thinks that what we do
isn't essential.

Wait, why does your office
look different, Stevens?

Oh, I decided to move
to my Palm Beach house.

It's, uh ‐‐ quality of life
is so much better here.

I have a full staff of cooks,
maids, seamstresses, and farmers

who tend to the land,

and they work
with the animals ‐‐

Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Is that safe?

All those people
in and out?

We don't let them leave.

So, where do they live?

We keep them in, uh, smaller,
poorer‐quality homes

here on the plan‐‐
the property.

Stevens,
are those people sl‐‐

Look, Dre, let's go back

to talking about
your family, okay.

They are way off base,
by the way.

We are 110% essential.

Yep.

In a world where
you don't know who to trust,

we're the ones telling you
that it's safe

to order takeout
from Astro Burger.

Yes, we do that,

but we have
a bigger influence, too.

We craft powerful images

that deliver messages to people
that feed the soul!

Exactly, Dre.

People need to know that
there's a brighter tomorrow.

And in that brighter tomorrow,
they are gonna need stuff.

No, what they need
is a sense

that things
are going to get better.

We are comforting people
in a time of crisis.

Yes. Comforting them
with the message ‐‐

"Don't forget
what's important.

Stuff."

‐Mm.
‐Yeah.

"Go get it."

I don't think you guys
are hearing me.

We give people hope.

Exactly, Dre.

We sell cars and mayonnaise
to people

that "hope" their jobs
are coming back...

But they're not,
though.

Hey, Junior,
what is all that honking?

Did your grandmother forget
to close her robe again?

No, Janine is having
one of those drive‐by birthdays,

but it's more like
a drive‐by stop‐and‐talk.

Look at all those
maskless savages.

Junior, don't be so hard
on them.

Come on.
No, no, no, no, no.

The government is falling down
on its job, okay.

People are getting totally
mixed messages,

and they don't know
what to believe

about what's safe
and what's not.

So, you know.
Alright.

But I m‐‐ Wait.
Oh, my God, are they hugging?

Oh, my God,
they're hugging!

Hey! You can't hug!

How do they know
the fibers from their coat

aren't passing
the virus?

We don't know how long
the virus lives on coats.

They just don't think
it's real.

They don't.

But I know it's real
because I see it every day.

And when I clock in
in a few hours,

I'm gonna see it again.

And that's why there are not
enough pots in this house

for me to bang on.

Mm‐mm‐mm.
This is upsetting.

Thanks, Junior.
Oh.

I should go
wash my hands.

Hey.

That's my boy.

Hey!

While Junior was draining

our supply
of hand sanitizer...

Hey! Put a mask on!

...I decided
to test my influence

on a real audience...

In these
unprecedented times,

it's easy to feel like your
entire life has slipped away.

But even
in these darkest of days,

there's one thing
we'll always have...

home.

Homestead Mayo.

We will rise again.

So, how did the ad
make you feel?

We were ‐‐

We were supposed
to feel something?
Yes.

What about you, Jack?

Um...
It made me feel, um...

Can you come back
to me?

Both of you
felt nothing?

But what about
the message?

"We will rise again."

Oh, yeah, I heard that.
Hmm.

Sounds like something
a dictator says

as he's walking up the steps
of the gallows.

But, hey,
that's not my criticism.
Yeah.

Oh, so you guys
didn't feel anything?

Sad.

For you.

You know what?

We should give Dad
some space.

Privacy is very important
in these trying times.
Yeah.

Hey.

Mm.
What did I miss, guys?

Nothing.

It's been real quiet
in there.

What is wrong with you?

You don't say "It's real quiet"
in a hospital

during a pandemic.

Go away, Larry!
Go away! You're banned!

Go!

And not more pizza.
My God.

They call us heroes,

but I bet you
when Batman saved Gotham,

he got more than
Hot 'n' Ready.

Yeah. This hero
needs a vegetable.

‐Yeah.
‐Yeah, forget that.

Pay off
my med school loans.

Right. Uh‐oh, uh‐oh.

A stranger at my door.

That's just what you want

right in the middle of
a highly infectious virus.

That's nice.

Oh.

Wait, is that...

No...

Olivia?

Who's Olivia?

Larry!

Go.

- That can't be her.
- Who?

Junior's girlfriend.

There's no way
he's gonna sneak in a girl

in your house
during quarantine.

Right?
I'm kidding.

It's definitely her.
They're smashing.

Can you not talk about my son
that way, please?

We're just jealous.

He's got no job,
lives with his parents,

and, clearly, his mom doesn't
hold him to any standards.

You know what?
You sound dumb.

Both of you sound dumb, and you
sound like dentists, okay.

Junior knows that he cannot
break our family bubble, okay.

And I'm gonna prove it
to you.

Yes, I am.

Hey, Siri,
call my emergency contact.

My husband's an idiot.

Hey, Mom.

Hey, sweetheart.

I was just looking at
the doorbell cam,

and I thought
I saw Olivia.

She wasn't at the house,
was she?

Olivia?
Yeah.

Here?
No, no, no, no, no.

That's what I thought,
okay.

I'll see you at home later,
alright?

Bye, honey.

See?

‐ Yep, you showed us.
‐ Mm‐hmm.

Showed us that your son
has no problem

lying to your face.

What?
Pop!

That's your bubble.

While Bow was fighting
with nerds,

I was fighting to light up
the soul of a nation.

Hey, son.

Yeah?
Tell me this.

What was the most
inspirational commercial

that you've ever seen?

Hmm...

Oh, that one
where the dog

has to figure out
where to invest his bone.

Oh...
that was a good one.

Yeah.

You know, but I got to go
bigger than that.

I've got to create
a campaign

that's just as powerful
as the "Be Like Mike" ad.

Wow.
It ‐‐ It had me thinking
that anything was possible

as long as I was willing
to put in the work.

To inspire people
to that degree

so I can know
I'm making a difference

while I'm sticking it
to your mama ‐‐

that's what
I need to do.

Hey, son, what is the world
in need of right now?

A vaccine.
Okay, what's after that?

Universal healthcare.

Rent forgiveness.
Universal basic income.

Say something
that's possible.

That's the thing. Everything
that I want is impossible.

I want to take my lady
by the hand and whisk her

to the Wizarding World
of Harry Potter.

I want to get
a gentle adjustment

from my yoga teacher.

I want to dap up
my friends.

That's it.

What?

That's it, son!

People want to be
touched.

Th‐The power...of hands!

Yes!
The human touch!

I got ‐‐ Hey!

Hey.
Where you going?

It's ‐‐ It's probably
for the best.

I ‐‐ I didn't want to take
another shower anyway.

Well, now I have to go shower
my hand.

Excuse me. Excuse me.
Alright, okay.

Excuse me.
Six feet.

Alright,
the blades again?

Six feet.
Yes, again.

You don't understand Junior,
alright.

There is no one that is more
committed to our safety

than my Junior.

Well, everyone is, right,
to a certain point.

Until it comes to that haircut
or that birthday party.

Plus no one believes
how sick you can get

until you've seen
what we've seen.

Well, Junior does.

Does he?
Yeah.

Okay, alright, look.

It's probably just
a delivery person.

The camera's
really vague.

You can't really see,
but he said it's not her.

Mm‐hmm.
That's all the proof I need.
Just look.

Hey, babe.
It's Olivia.

I'll meet you out back.

Ooh, where do you think
she's dropping the package?

Thank you all for coming.

Oh, look how handsome
our son is, Earl.

You look like RuPaul
out of drag.

‐Mm.
‐Hey. Yeah.

Thank you, Mama.
Alright.

I‐I know you're probably
all wondering

where I've been
for a little while.

I haven't.

I firmly believe
it's every father's right

to disappear for as long
as he sees fit.

I've been working
on my masterpiece,

and I'm finally finished.

You know,
it's a delicate marriage

between art and commerce

that birthed a baby
named hope.

‐ Mm‐hmm.
‐ "Touch."

Hands.

We all have them.

And we ask them
to do a lot.

But really,
hands are meant to touch.

Today touching is a weapon.

Touching is dangerous.

But one day soon,
we'll return to normal.

And your hands
will touch again...

And we'll be ready

with Soft Hands Lotion.

Powerful, right?

Take a moment to ‐‐
to gather your emotions.

Okay, uh, nobody
has anything to say?

I'm sorry, a‐are you
selling people hands?

Look, I'm just gonna
say it, baby.

Hey, that wasn't it.
What?

But, Mama, that was my best.
I gave you all that I had.

M‐Maybe it just needs a ‐‐
a new tag line.

You know,
something that reminds you

even in this
unprecedented time,

now more than ever,
that even when we're apart,

we're together.

Oh, no.

And there it was.
I wasn't making art.

I was just lazily throwing
together tag lines.

Whatever "essential" was,
I was the opposite.

Looks like
he's thinking over

those terrible life choices
he's made.

What do you say you and me
get out of here?

Mmm. Tasty.

Listen, baby, if it makes you
feel any better,

your ad has inspired me

to put my hands on your Daddy
right now.

Hey.

Thank you, son.

Yeah.

Come on, Earl.
I'm gonna wear you out.

We don't know
that she went inside.

They're probably just
out in the backyard.

They're socially distanced.

Bow, come on.
What?

You're the smartest person
I know.

Hey!

It's ‐‐ it's fair.

Why are you having
such trouble

accepting what's happening
under your roof?

I know it's happening,
okay!

But I can't do my job
if I have to think about that.

I don't know about you,

but I did not sign up
to fight a deadly virus

with one arm
tied behind my back.

And if I can't believe
that every member of my family

is doing their best
to keep us safe,

especially my most reliable
family member,

then I'm sorry,
but we're screwed.

And I don't know
if I can get through this.

So I'm not focusing
on that, okay.

Dr. Alvarez
to emergent care.

Code Black, let's go.

Okay. Let's do this.

‐You guys ready to be "heroes."
‐Let's do it.

Okay.

Hey, Mom.
Oh!

You need a hand?

Step back.
Is everything alright?

I said step back, Junior!
Sorry.

God.

Listen, when I tell you
something,

you need to listen to me,
okay.

I'm saying it
for your own good.

Okay...

I know that Olivia
came over here today,

and I know
that you lied to me.

Okay, I ‐‐ I understand
that this is bad,

but it's been extremely hard
to be apart.

And she lives alone,

and she's been
being really careful,

and I've been being
really careful ‐‐

That's what everybody thinks,
Junior!

But they're not seeing what
I am seeing at the hospital.

Today, I went from COVID patient
to COVID patient

to COVID patient.

I intubated a woman
that was my age, Junior,

and she was awake.

She was just looking
in my eyes, terrified.

She got COVID
working at the supermarket.

She had to go to work.
She had no choice.

The same way I don't have
a choice as a doctor!

And having Olivia
over here is ‐‐

is disrespecting everything
that I'm fighting for.

You know that I think
you are a hero ‐‐

Stop with the hero stuff,
Junior.

I'm afraid!

Afraid!

I'm doing
everything in my power

to protect myself
and my patients and my family,

and you are ‐‐

you're endangering
all of it ‐‐

all of it,

just so you could see
your girlfriend.

I'm sorry, Mom.

I'm really trying believe
that we can get through this.

But it is hard

when people won't do
this simple thing

for the greater good,

and it is even harder
when my own son...

...won't do his part.

I'm so, so sorry.

It's gonna be okay,
right?

We're gonna look back
at all this and say,

"I can't believe
I was there," right.

I'm not gonna want to
look back, Junior.

Mom.

I think
I'm just gonna go home.

Yeah,
I think that's best.

Hey.

How's my favorite
essential worker?

Too tired
to rehash that debate.

Uh, no rehash, babe.

I just...

You know, I'm struggling.

I know.

There's so much pain
going on right now,

and I can't do anything
to ease it.

And you are over here
on another level.

Ugh! Dre, you do not
want to be on my level.

What I see every day
is so hard...

It's hard to stay hopeful.

Well, let me see
if I can help you out.

Now, more than ever,

the world needs
its sexy doctors.

Oh.

And I am proud to say

that I am the husband
of an essential...

Yes.

...first‐ish responder.

Ish?

Come on, babe.

It's not like you're
in the "ambalance" with them.

It's am‐bu‐lance.

Not if you want them
to come fast.

Nope, you just can't
help yourself.

It's okay.

Oh.

Let me see who this is.

Oh. Wow.

What?

Chrissy Teigen
just tweeted this photo

with my billboard
in the background.

Oh!

She said it's gonna be

"the definitive image
of the pandemic in L. A."

That's cool.
Yes!

What ‐‐ What d‐‐
What exactly does that mean?

My billboard, it's saying
that despite the desolation,

we will rise again!

Yes!
I am inspiring the city!

I am essential!

You are the real hero,
Dre!

Yes.

At this point
it may be cliché,

but these are
unprecedented times.

So we're all just
trying to get through it

the best that we can...

with courage, with hope,
and with our humanity.

Thank you from the bottom
of my heart.

You saved my life.

You're heroes.

I intubated him
last month.

And now
he's going home.

Good work.

In the absence of leadership,

it takes everyday people
to step up.

Ready to go back to work?
Yep.

I wish I could've said
things got easier.

But even through the darkness,

Bow somehow managed
to find some light.

That's what makes her
a hero.

Hey.

How's day three of
the quarantine going?

Hey, do you have
enough liquids in there?

Yep, my super‐strict quarantine
is going great.

My closet
is extra organized,

Jack and Diane
are bringing me Lunchables

three times a day,

and, you know, by the time
I am out of here,

my sourdough starter
is gonna be ready.

I'm not gonna break your trust
or this quarantine.

Thank you.

And, hey, will you thank
Olivia for me, please?

She sent an Edible Arrangement
to the hospital.

Turns out, it was
an arrangement of edibles.

We found Dr. Paul putting makeup
on corpses in the morgue.

Very awkward.

Again,
we are both so sorry.

But hey,
I've talked your ear off.

It's probably time
for you to go to work.

Junior,
I'm about to go to bed.

Oh, my God.

I've lost all concept
of time.

What day is it?

Can someone give me
another Lunchable?!

Someone help me!

Jack!