Black-ish (2014–…): Season 6, Episode 18 - Best Supporting Husband - full transcript

Dre spirals when Rainbow is elected to the prestigious California Board of Medicine, and the invitation for the annual fundraising gala is addressed to Dr. Rainbow Johnson and guest; Diane redecorates her room to impress Mason.

The world is filled
with famous power couples.

You've got People magazine's
Sexiest Man Alive John Legend

and real people's Sexiest
Woman Alive Chrissy Teigen.

Then, of course, there's former
President and First Lady

Barack and Michelle Obama.

And future President and First Lady

Will Smith and Jada Pinkett.

You know he'd win if he ran.

And who could forget
Sherman Oaks' very own

Andre and Rainbow Johnson?

With me as Senior VP of Urban Marketing



at a major advertising firm

and Bow as the flyest,
most beautiful doctor

since Dr. Quinn,

Dre and B were giving Jay & Bey
a run for their money.

Uh-huh.

Oh, right!

Uh-huh.

Right!

Uh-huh!

- Uh-huh.
- Hey!

Who put my "Black Panther" mug
in the dishwasher?

This is hand-wash-only!

Oh, my God! Thank you so much!

Um, y... No, you have a good day.



- Bye!
- Bye!

Bow, this is a collector's item.

You can't get these anymore!

- Dre!
- What?

That was Dr. Lester

from the California Board of Medicine!

So?

Ahh!

They want me on the board.

What?

My wife is better than
all you suckers' wives!

Hey, hey, man!

What board is your wife on, huh?

She probably in the house making
them wack-ass candles!

That's not even
what the ocean smell like!

My wife is on the board!

T-That's it! Run!

You'll never catch my wife!

She's so far ahead of you!

When Tom Cruise acts a fool
in public for his woman,

it's crazy.

When a Black man does it, it's love.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

Whew!

The Garretts thought they were flexin'

when their daughter was on
"16 and Pregnant,"

but, Bow, you are the one!

- Me?
- You the one!

- Me.
- Uh-huh!

Aw, Dre!

No one is a bigger, more
aggressive champion than you.

You are the Clipper Darrell of my life.

Let's go, Rainbow!

- Let's go, Rai...
- Whoa, whoa! Dah, dah, dah, dah, dah.

Mom, does this mean that you
own the hospital now?

Or that you only do surgeries
on celebrities?

No, no. I just have
more responsibility now.

And I get to do great things
not just for my hospital,

- but also for the city.
- Mm.

And I'm ready for it, you guys.

Because while other children

were doing "Pretty Pretty Princess,"

I was practicing finding veins
on my teddy bear.

- Mm-hmm!
- Wow!

You sound like a fun kid.

Watch it, Ruby.

I'll start lobbying against Medicare.

Oh, I'm scared.

You know, I am proud of you, mom.

This marks phase two of your life plan,

where you break away from
the pack and join the elite.

- Boom!
- Which sets us up for phase three...

you and me living "Grey Gardens"-style

in a mansion built upon your legacy!

What the hell is "Grey Gardens"?

Sounds like a strip club
that closes at 6:00.

- No.
- Y-You know what?

Don't even worry about it, Bow. I got you.

Let's go, Rainbow!

Okay, okay, what do we want
for dinner, you guys?

You guys want pizza?

- Pepperoni. Yes. Yes.
- Pepperoni. Yes.

Pizza!

Two crazy old ladies who live
in a broke-down mansion?

What the hell is wrong with you?

If I believed in therapy...

Mm.

Wow. Dre, board member.

That's... That's impressive.

I mean, Connor and I, we...
we've donated dozens of cadavers

to the medical community over the years

and haven't been asked to join

as much as an advisory committee.

Well, don't feel sad, buddy.
It doesn't happen for everyone.

You know, maybe one day,
you'll be on our level.

Well... not really your level.

More like Bow's level.

Bow's level? What are you talking about?

Dre, come on.

She's a doctor on the board
of a prestigious hospital,

and you... well, you sell
flavored mayonnaise to shut-ins.

So it's not even a fair fight, Dre.

It's like a sumo wrestler versus
a kid with tuberculosis.

Which I have seen live.

The kid won.

They shouldn't have allowed handguns.

You know what? You guys are crazy.

We are equals.

That's what makes us a power couple.

Ohh!

- Power couple!
- What?

You're... Y-You're not a power couple.

But it's not a big deal, Dre.

I mean, I'd love to be
someone's beta husband.

- Beta husband?
- Oh, yeah.

I love it when a woman takes
control in the boardroom.

And the bedroom.

Especially in the bedroom because, uh...

whoo, boy.

That whole thing can get real confusing.

Look, Dre, if you can't handle being

Mister-Doctor Rainbow Johnson...

Eh...

...then Charlie Telphy will step in.

I already got vanity plates.

Dre, Charlie's right.

It's time to get out
of this relationship.

You've given it the old college try.

You've saddled her with five
kids, but she just keeps going.

And now she's eclipsing you.

So, what? Pull the rip cord.

You guys have got this all wrong.

We are a team.

Mm-hmm. A team.

A team like Sonny and Cher.

Or the Queen of England

and that guy that's not
the King of England.

I'm not taking advice from
three guys with no wives.

What Bow and I have is special.

All right, tonight's
feature is "Troll 2."

Just one more, and we'll be
through the whole Trollogy.

I hope this one's better
than the last one.

Well, they must get better,

or else Hollywood wouldn't have
made three of them.

Oh, my God.

What?

No, it's cool. I can clear a path.

Watch.

See that? Right?

Or... maybe we just watch
in Diane's room?

Yeah, mine doesn't look like

the inside of Terrence Howard's brain.

You know, I don't really remember

what your room looks like, Diane,

but if it's anything like you,

I bet it's got to be impressive.

Yes, it's my sanctuary.

But don't be thirsty.

Ta-da!

Wow, Diane.

It's so...

Cool? Charming? Cute?

I was going to say Eh."

What's that?

He said, "Eh."

I mean, I was expecting stolen artwork

or a throne made of
endangered tiger bones.

This is so... not you.

What?

Did you see how many things

are plugged into
this one extension cord?

I did.

Let's just watch it in my room.

Now that I Febrezed it,
your eyes won't water.

Ouch.

Truth hurts, sis,
but it needed to be said.

Says the guy who had
Stone Cold Steve Austin sheets

until he was 16.

Look, your room clearly
needs a facelift,

and I wanted to start design work

to enhance my Stevens & Lido portfolio.

Maybe if you could can the sass,
we could work together.

Fine.

I'll prepare the mood boards.

Those clowns at Stevens & Lido
didn't know anything

about what makes
a marriage of equals work.

Fortunately, I didn't have that problem.

Flower delivery for the sexiest member

of the California Board of Medicine.

Ohh, I don't know. I beg to differ.

Have you seen Dr. Feldstein
without his glasses?

Oh, boy, if he gets contacts,
mm, watch out.

Dre, look what came in the mail.

- What's that?
- This is an invitation

to the Board's annual Fundraising Gala,

the biggest event of the year.

We've officially arrived.

Let me see that, baby.

Move! Let me see that, baby.

Oh, I'm sorry. Board Member Baby.

- Thank you so much.
- Mm.

I got some people on Instagram
that I want to stunt on.

Really?

And we were ready to take our
victory lap together,

as Dr. Rainbow Johnson and...

guest?!

Guest?

Oh, man!

Looks like you stunted on yourself.

Oh, my God!

We weren't Jay-Z and Beyoncé.

We were Sonny and Cher!

It's "The Dre and Bow Comedy Hour,"

starring Bow!

What?

Why does it say "and guest," Bow?

My name is Andre Johnson,

and I am not some piece of meat

that you can just trot out
to impress your friends.

What are you talking about?

- It says "and guest" on the invitation.
- Yeah, I see it.

Is that what it's gonna say
on my name tag?

It's a gala.

They're not gonna have me put
a sticker on my gown.

Could be a pin.

This is nothing for you
to be upset about.

I was the last person invited, Dre.

The event planners just
don't have your name.

It's no big deal.

Seriously, no big deal.

That's what it is.

Everything is their fault!

'Cause I am still great.

Yes, you are, Dre.

And that is why I am so happy

that you are gonna be there with me,

because I wouldn't be there
if it weren't for you.

- No, you wouldn't.
- Mnh-mnh.

- Because we are a team.
- Yes, we are.

And speaking of teamwork,
let's go in on this dinner.

Ooh. Sorry.

Got to hop on a conference call
for the board.

Speaking of which, Thursday
nights are our meetings,

so I'm gonna need you to pick up
Jack from robotics.

Don't even worry about it.

Because we are a power couple,

- and this is what power couples do.
- Yeah.

So, we are gonna turn
this gala into Lob City.

Bam!

After you, my queen.

- Rainbow Johnson.
- Yeah.

I'm with her.

Uh, I am here for whatever
you need, okay?

If you need me to be your body man

to remember somebody's name,

I'm your guy.

All right. Oh, oh, oh.

Don't look now, but one
of the actors from "Mad Men"

is coming over.

Mm-hmm. Right there.

That's Mayor Garcetti.

Oh, he looks taller in person.

- Dr. Johnson.
- Hi! Hey!

We are so glad to finally
get you on the board.

Oh, goodness.

Mayor Garcetti, this is
my husband. This is Dre.

- Oh, nice to meet you, Jay.
- It's actually... actually...

So, Dr. Johnson, let me introduce you

to one of the platinum donors
to the board.

Uh, this is Mr. Campbell.
Brent Campbell.

- How are you?
- He's with the Dodgers.

- Oh, wonderful.
- Oh!

You know, we should get you
to a game sometime.

- Yeah, we'd love to go.
- How are your moves?

- Oh, well...
- We might get on the Dance Cam.

I can floss, you know.

- Oh, my goodness! Look at you!
- Uh-huh.

I cannot do that.

So, Jay, tell me,

are you in the medical
profession, as well?

No, I'm actually a Senior Vice President

at one of the top advertising firms

- here in Southern California.
- Yeah.

Oh.

Well, I... guess we need those, too.

- Nice meeting you.
- Uh, yeah.

- Okay. Good to see you.
- Good to see you.

- Goodbye.
- Bye!

You know, we don't only sell product.

Uh, you know, we've been awarded

for our advocacy work,
as well, in the community.

- There she is, the woman of the hour!
- Oh! Hi!

Hey, Dr. Chubb. How are ya?

Please, you're on the board now.
Call me Reginald.

Oh! Okay. Reggie.

Uh, Reginald.

Oh, God, Dr. Chubb, seriously.

It's so much better for me.

You know, I hate to talk
business at a fancy party,

but since I've got you all here,

do you care if we discuss
one board matter?

Not at all!

What's on your mind?

- Yeah... Oh. Well... Oh.
- What?

Sweetheart, you don't
want to stand around

while we talk all
this boring board stuff.

- You mind getting me a drink?
- Sure. I'll grab you something.

- Thanks, sweetheart.
- All right.

So, what's up?

I think you're really gonna love
what I've drawn up for you.

Mm. It better be good.

I can't get clowned by Mason again.

Okay, so, when you think "Diane's room,"

you think dark, yet sophisticated.

Imagine if the clown from "It"

lived under a mid-century
modern paradise.

I call this...

The Haunted Existence.

Mm.

- Mm.
- Wow.

This is a miss.

Mm.

Okay. Uh, uh...

What about option number two?

I call this one...

Cleopatra's Lair-r-r.

Should've called it Cleopatra's Miss.

Okay, Jack, thank you for
the constructive criticism,

but what really matters
is what Diane thinks.

Mm...

I agree.

This is trash.

- Mm.
- Mnh.

You know what?
Let's forget the design work.

Let's just get loose with it. Huh?

Like jazz!

I call this "design scat."

You just say whatever
comes to your mind.

- Okay.
- Okay.

"Arabian Nights."

Diane in Space.

- Mnh-mnh.
- Old Hollywood!

"Man in the High Castle"!

Anything hitting?

You need me to say it?

Look, I'm gonna have to
do this on my own.

I don't need these streets saying

that Diane Johnson's room is "Eh."

But...

But I have swatches!

It's okay, Junior.

It's her fault for believing in you.

Mm.

Man, we're never gonna make it
out of this line.

Hey, you think if I tell them
my wife's a board member,

they'll let me cut?

Everyone here is
married to someone on the board.

Welcome to life as a plus-one, brother.

You've been benched.

Ha! Benched?

Man, you trippin'. I'm in a $9,000 suit.

I'm a starter.

Look.

I used to think just like you.

But the truth is,
we're just drink-fetching,

polite-chuckling,
purse-holding arm candy.

If you're smart, you'll bring
your own purse hook.

They don't always have them
at the table.

You did that? Oh, my God!

- I keep... Oh!
- Uh, excuse me.

Uh, may I steal
my lovely wife for a minute?

- Oh.
- Please?

- Yes, of course. I'll be right back.
- Okay. Thank you.

- Oh, my God, Dre.
- Mm-hmm.

Holy moly, this is going
way better than I thought.

Yeah.

These people are acting
like I'm one of them.

Kamala Harris and I are
gonna talk politics

over aged Scotch, Dre.

Aged!

- Bow, you don't even like Scotch.
- What?

Who cares? It's Kamala Harris.

I am rocking this room.

Yes, you are, because we are superstars.

Yes, we are.

And I say let's take this
rocking to a more private room.

- Oh.
- Maybe, like, the Four Seasons?

And we can celebrate
your all-star status.

Oh, my God.
We are definitely doing that.

As soon as this wraps up,

we are going directly to the hotel.

- Directly.
- Mnh-mnh. I can't wait that long, babe.

- What do you mean?
- Mnh-mnh. I can't wait that long.

- No.
- Don't do... No.

- No.
- Oh, my God, I love it...

These shoulders are gonna
take you right now.

Stop, Dre.

- Come on. Come on, look at this, girl.
- You know I love that.

- I'm getting my Teddy Pendergrass on.
- You... No. You are not... No.

I'mma turn off the lights!

You know how much
I love that shoulder roll.

But this gala is not done yet.

It's still going.

Your work here is done.

Let's bounce.

- I can't.
- I...

This is my first event as
a member of the board.

I know you're not about to let
these shoulders go out

- in the cold by themselves.
- Don't do it. I'm ignoring you.

- Look at that.
- Nope.

- Lookit, I'm getting taller.
- Stop trying to lure me with sex.

- I'm getting taller.
- Stop it.

Dre, I have to stay here.

You know how important this is to me.

I just want to have some fun
with my wife.

Dre.

I am staying.

You can go if you need to.

Seriously.

I get it.

I got this.

I can do this alone.

Okay?

I thought Bow and I were Lob City.

So why did I feel like I just
got cut from the team?

Hey, baby, you're home early.

Mama, I bought that
for Bow to celebrate.

Oh. Well... I didn't know.

Where is Rainbow?

Or did you finally come to your senses?

She's still at the gala

with her bougie-ass Illuminati friends.

What happened, baby?

I tried to be the best teammate
for Bow that I could,

but they didn't want to listen to me.

It's like they didn't care
where I was coming from,

like they were only concerned
about what she had to say.

Now, you listen to me.

And listen good.

I would never say this
if she were around,

and I know it's gonna be
difficult for you to hear,

but Rainbow

is a star.

I know she's a star. That's why we work.

- We're both stars.
- Yes.

But Rainbow is shining brighter
than you right now.

You can't get your nose
all bent out of shape

just because she's getting
more attention than you.

Mama, I'm not some insecure guy
who needs a lot of attention.

All right? Recognition, maybe.

Praise, sure. Admiration, yeah.

It's not your turn right now.

Your wife is having a moment,
and you have to deal with it.

You should be happy for her, Dre.

I know I'm supposed to be,
Mama, and I am.

But tonight, it just seems like
I wasn't on her level.

Because you're not.

Are you sure you want to watch "Troll 3"

in your room, Diane?

You know, after your criticisms,

I sat down and re-evaluated what
I want my room to say about me.

And I think I came up with
just the right thing.

Nothing's changed.

That's right.

Nothing's changed, chump.

Over here, you'll see the same bed.

Over here, you'll see
the same paint job.

And over there, you'll see the same door

any of you can walk out of
if you don't like it.

I think I speak for everyone
when I say this is a miss.

No, it's not.

It's the same room,

but you've brought an edgy
new attitude, Diane.

But we didn't do shiplap
or a feature wall!

There's not a single piece of
reclaimed barn wood in here!

I think it's perfect.

Totally you.

I'm sorry about what I said.

I'd love to watch "Troll 3"
in here, if I'm still invited.

I guess that'd be okay.

Great.

Come on, Jack.
Let's go get some popcorn.

Ooh!

I see what's going on here.

You and Mason...

Shut up, Longhead.
There's nothing going on here.

Okay, don't insult me.

I know romantic tension when I feel it.

I watch "Property Brothers."

When I walked back into that gala,

I knew what I had to do.

I finally realized I was just as happy

being Gabrielle Union as I was
being Dwyane Wade.

Some of these proctologists,

they drink like they are
trying to forget some things.

You know what I mean?

Excuse me.

- Hey. Hi.
- Hi.

I, uh... I need to apologize to my wife

for me being in my feelings earlier.

Oh.

I-I'll be right back.

- Dre.
- Yes?

Baby, I'm so sorry I tried to
get you to leave earlier.

All right? I guess I just let
my ego get the best of me.

And...

I should have never
left you on your big night.

Mm.

Thank you for the apology, Dre.

But what happened?

I'm so proud of you becoming
a board member

and all of your accomplishments.

But seeing you kill it with these VIPs

all night by yourself...

made me feel like you didn't need me.

Oh, babe.

- I don't need you.
- What's that?

I choose you.

I love you, Dre.

So much.

And my life is so much more fulfilling

because you are by my side.

And that's the way I want it
to be forever...

us right by each other's sides.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Dr. Johnson!

Baker wants to hear your
Peruvian Heimlich story.

Of course!

Oh, my goodness.

Oh!

So, I set my pride aside
and let my lady do her thing.

Hey, if she could
carry five kids for me,

I could carry a purse for her.

Damn, this thing looks small.

But it's got a real ass on it.

Knock-knock.

I hope I'm not disturbing you.

Oh, uh... not at all.
Just doing algebra homework.

Like I'm ever gonna need that.

I have a little surprise for you.

I thought this one could replace
Zoey's old one.

You're way more of
a "Bye" kind of woman.

Aw.

Thank you, Mason.

Whoa! What's going on here?

I don't want this!

Stupid.

Hmm. Whatever.

Come on, Mason. Let's play
"Smash Bros." in my room.

Hey, Mason.

Leave the sign.

It could be our secret.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com