Bizaardvark (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 6 - Summer Schooled - full transcript

When an accident befalls Frankie's assigned Summer School teacher, Principal Karen steps in.

All right, I got everything we need

to make our new series of summer videos.

Cool. And we're sure making

a different, beach-themed
video every day

is a sustainable idea, right?

Now that you mention it,
all we've come up with

is the character
of a sassy floating device

that yells, "Yeah, buoy!"

We should be able to ride the
momentum from that for a while.

Oh, hang on. The mail is here.

Anything good?



The usual, bills, junk mail,

love letters from
Grandma's prison pen-pal.

"Roses are red Violets are blue

Send me a cake with a shovel in it."

What's he in jail for, murdering poetry?

Nice!

Huh. This is weird. You got
something from Sierra High.

Aw, man! It says
I failed chemistry class

and I have to take summer school.

What? No, that can't be right.

Eh, if you think about it, it's
amazing I've made it this long

without getting summer school.

To be honest, I've only
been using my backpack

to cover up stains on my shirts.



But you and I were
in the same chemistry class.

I mean, you even showed me your
final project. It was good.

I feel like there's something
else going on here.

What if...

- Paige, don't.
- Don't what?

Let your imagination
get the best of you.

I don't do that.

Paige, honey, my little cauliflower,

you do.

Your over-active imagination
is an adorable trait,

second only to your aggressively
relentless positivity.

It's so awesome you said that,

and I'm so glad we're best friends.

My point is when you get
in your head like this,

you drive yourself crazy.

This is just summer school.

There's nothing weird about it,

except that it's school in the summer.

So you admit that there's
something weird about it?

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

♪ Hey! Hey! ♪

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

Okay, let's do this.

I'm really excited to have
you guys on my channel.

Now, I know you've never unboxed before,

so I'm sure you're a little nervous.

Yeah, right, nervous.

We were just talking
about how nervous we were

to be opening cardboard boxes

and talking about what's inside.

If you want, I can give
you a few pointers.

Uh, Zane...

I open about 10 boxes of lip
gloss on my channel a day.

Pretty sure I got this.

Yeah, and I open about
10 boxes of lip gloss on my...

Oh, I just copied you.

All right.

We're rolling in three, two, fun!

Hey, everybody. Welcome to Zane Unboxed.

And say hi to my friends,
Amelia and Bernie.

- Hi, y'all.
- Bern Dawg Nation!

Let's unravel this cardboard mystery.

Amelia, start us on our journey.

Okay.

Well, the tape is mostly off.

I can pretty much see what's inside.

- It's a...
- Wait!

Don't just say what it is.

Build the suspense.

Bernie, take us farther down the path.

It's a plastic car.

Okay, you're gonna need to stop that.

Hey, Zane, when are you gonna
post our unboxing vid?

Ready to break the Internet?

Yeah, are your viewers ready for
the magic that is Bernmelia?

- It's a thing.
- No, it's not.

Actually, I decided
not to post the video.

Wait. What?

I'm sorry.

I just don't think
you're unboxing material.

Wow.

I've never felt this awful
feeling of rejection before.

Eh, you get used to it.

Ringtone!

Oh.

Sorry, guys. That's me.

I'm the ringtone.

Hey, Paige. What's up?

Hey, just checking in
on my summer-schooling friend.

How's it going? Who's your teacher?

Well, it was supposed
to be someone named Ms. Manino.

Who? Never heard of her.

It doesn't matter.

She had to get
an emergency nose surgery,

so Principal Karen is teaching instead.

What?

Frankie, get off your phone!

Is what I would say if I wasn't
the coolest teacher ever.

Is that Paige?

Hey, Paige, do you like my braid?

I know braids are your dealio,

but now, they're my dealio,

so I guess they're our dealio.

Yay! We have a dealio!

Coolio!

Frankie, don't you think
it's a little suspicious

that Principal Karen
is teaching your class?

Paige, don't do this.

What? I'm not...

Principal Karen is
just teaching the class.

It's not a big deal.
There's nothing weird about it.

Oh, hang on. She's handing
back our quizzes.

Oh, man!

I got a 001.

That's bad even for me.

Girlfriend, stop playing.

You are looking at it upside down.

I got 100?

Whoo!

So, Principal Karen is a teacher,

and you got 100 on a quiz?

You've never gotten 100
in your entire life.

Sorry, Paige. Gotta jump.

My new buds, Ruby, Lance, and Chase,
asked if I wanted to hang out.

Ruby, Lance, Chase?

I've never seen those kids before.

Frankie!

Frankie?

Oh, good. You're up.

What are you doing?

I'm glad you're having
a good time at summer school

with your good grades, and your
new friends, and Principal Karen,

but I got news for you.

You're not going back there.

Paige, what is going on?

I'll tell you what's
going on here, sister.

Summer school is fake!

Paige, in the future, if you're
gonna tie me up and get in my face,

could you at least
brush your teeth first?

What do you mean summer school is fake?

And how did I not wake up
when you did this?

Hey, I'm as surprised as you are.

I was not gentle.

I'll tell you how I know
summer school is fake.

Number one, your teacher coincidentally

had to get "emergency nose surgery"

the day before school.

Number two, you aced a quiz.

No offense, but come on!

Number three, you made
new friends in one day.

Again, no offense, but come on!

None taken.

Wait. How did you get free?

I have a particular set
of skills, Paige.

My point is, summer
school is just a trick.

It's all part
of Principal Karen's plan...

to join Bizaardvark.

Oh, my gosh!

Oh, my...

Uh, duh!

She's been trying to join
Bizaardvark since forever.

This isn't news.

I'm right, Frankie. Open your eyes.

Okay, let's make the leap,
and it's a big leap...

nay, a grande jeté

that you're right
about Principal Karen's plan.

While only target me?

Why not make both of us
go to summer school?

Frankie, Frankelah,

my little bag of baby carrots,

she obviously knows you're
the harder nut to crack.

If she can convince you,
you will convince me,

and, boom, you just did
half of her work for her.

Paige, do you hear
the words you're saying?

This is nuts.

Okay, you're right.

Maybe I did take this too far.

There's my girl.

Will you help me with this?

Okay, go get ready for school.

Okay, yeah.

Don't worry about me. I'm gonna stop.

Stop living with my eyes closed

and break this sucker wide open!

So, the product entity is...

Well, well, well.

Oh, no.

Hi, Paige.

Oh, don't "Hi, Paige" me.

I know what's going on here!

I get it.

You missed your best
buds, Frankie and Karen,

and you wanted
to sneak in some hang time

with the lay... What? deez!

No, I'm here for the truth.

Uh, what's happening?

You claim to be a teacher?

Well, I dare you to rewrite this
entire equation from scratch.

I guess I could do it.

Although, this is a little bizarre.

Dvardk. Nice!

Just stop, Paige.

No, watch. PK doesn't know
a thing about chemistry.

Done!

That really take me back to the old days

when Ms. Manino and I first
started teaching together.

You used to teach chemistry?

STEM, girlfriend, all day erry-day.

Seriously, what's happening?

Oh, I'll tell you what's happening.

You and all these other
"students" are really all actors,

whose backpacks are just
props filled with nothing.

Okay.

Well, kudos to your prop department.

They're clearly very skilled.

But this proves nothing!

It proves everything!

What's happening?

Oh, look, goggles!

I guess I should put
these on, because this

is definitely a real
chemistry lab, right?

And these beakers are definitely filled

with chemicals, not water, huh?

Uh-oh.

Okay, so water doesn't do that.

And...

chemistry!

It's all real, Paige.

Maybe you should go home.

Guess I was wrong.

I'm sorry, everybody.

I'm sorry, Frankie.

Geez, why did we ever
become friends with her?

Call me later, Paige!

Who does Zane think he is,

saying we're not unboxing material?

I'm everything material!

Hey, guys.

Zane, why didn't you
put us on your channel?

We did exactly what you asked.

We opened the boxes.

You opened the boxes,

but you didn't... "open" the boxes.

I get it. He's saying things
twice saying things twice.

Anyone can open a box,

but not everyone can be an unboxer.

It's no big deal.

It's just something you're not good at.

That's the point!

Amelia Duckworth is good at everything,

and if I'm not good at unboxing,

then that could lead to me not
being good at something else,

then something else, then next thing
you know, I'm turning into...

well, him.

I was the him.

We want to learn how to be unboxers.

Teach us, Zane.

When you're making an unboxing video,

you can't just talk
like your normal self.

You've gotta...

add the drama.

Okay, let me try.

It's time to open...

How do I know if the
dramatic pause is too long?

Ahem. It...

was too long.

Viewers love the surprise
of what's inside the box.

When you gasp, they gasp.

Watch.

Now, you try.

Gasp!

Okay, moving on.

Storytelling is everything.

When I say go, remove your blindfold

and tell a story
about what's in front of you.

Go!

Uh... Uh...

Once upon a time...

lamp! The end!

I think I broke whatever my thing was.

Okay, guys, you're not getting it yet,

but let's keep trying.

What's the point?

You were right.
We're not unboxing material.

- Guys, if you just keep trying...
- Zane!

Just stop.

You're an unboxer, and we are not, sir.

And if I weren't so sad, I would

congratulate myself on that sick rhyme.

Remember, when we perform
this scene today,

we have to make it really convincing.

Totally. If we want anyone else
to believe we have chemistry,

then we need to believe
we have chemistry.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

That was weird.

Principal Karen?
What are you doing here?

I thought Ms. Manino
was coming back today.

She was supposed to,
but she needs more time

to recover from her, um... the...

Nose surgery?

Sure, that sounds right.

Uh...

Where is everyone?

I decided to give
everyone a free period.

But since you're here,

we should spend the next hour
riffing on some viddie iddies.

That's how I say "video ideas" now.

Do you like it? I already don't like it.

- Unless you like it!
- Uh...

By the dubs, check out this
pic I posted last night.

Get it?

It's me with Bizaardvark.

There's three of us,

so it's Triz-aardvark.

Isn't it trill?

Do the kids still say "trill"?

If not, that is way zonk.

Start saying "zonk."

Uh...

Speaking of uh-mazing,

I can't wait to show you
my comedy vision journal.

It's in your locker. I'll go get it.

Actors, no Ms. Manino, Trizaardvark?

Paige was right.

Summer school is fake.

Oh, good. You're up.

- Paige, you were right.
- About what?

About everything!

I apologize for the
crudeness of this model.

I only had nine hours to build it

and had to stay still for two of them

because you started to wake up.

Why am I tied to the bed?

I don't know. You did it to me.

It seemed like what we were doing.

What is all this?

The truth, 3-D modelized.

I know that's not a word,
but there wasn't a word

for what this is, so I made one up.

I think it fits.

Man, are you feeling okay?

Never better, Paige. Try to keep up.

First, Ms. Manino was a no-show.

Then, I find out those kids are actors.

Then, PK gets me alone
to pitch video ideas.

Video ideas!

I'm sorry. Are we at the optometrist?

Because my eyes are wide open!

What are you saying?

I'm saying it's fake, all of it.

Summer school is fake!

Yay, you agree with me.

Now, you can stop going.

Are you kidding? It's just
the tip of the iceberg.

Iceberg? I wasn't told
there'd be an iceberg.

We have to find out what Principal
Karen's master plan is.

Follow me!

If PK joins Bizaardvark,
our videos will suffer.

Thus, we'll lose subscribers. Thus,
we'll get kicked off of Vuuugle.

Thus, the Internet will hate us,

and we'll be doomed to a
lifetime of social isolation!

Oh, wow. That looks so lonely.

Wait. Why are we
in Zane and Rodney's room?

This is a two-room conspiracy, Paige.
Follow me!

For all we know,

Principal Karen is building
her own rival Internet.

A rival Internet which
she'll force us to be a part of.

Then she'll have what she wanted
all along, Bizaardvark to herself,

all day erry-day.

What are we gonna do?

We give her exactly what she wants.

Frankie, I... I don't know
how to build a rival Internet.

Not that!

We invite Principal Karen
to join Bizaardvark.

If she says yes,

we'll get her to admit
summer school is fake,

because the only reason she created

summer school is to join Bizaardvark.

I have follow-up questions, but I'm
sure you'll explain on the way.

I am still wearing pajamas!

So, since bar soap comes in a box,

and I'm bad at box stuff,
I switched to body wash.

Now, there are some things
I like about body wash,

but a lot of stuff
I miss about bar soap.

So, I had to make the decision, and...

I'll pay you $100 to stop talking.

You guys, I need your help.

I hurt my wrist playing basketball,

and I can't shoot an unboxing video.

I've never missed a post.

Can you two fill in for me?

Us? Seriously?

You've seen us unbox. It's a disaster.

You're the only ones who've
gone through my training.

Please, this is
a true unboxing emergency.

That does sound like a real thing.

Okay, guys, you can do this.

Just remember what I've taught you.

And action!

Hi, y'all, I'm Amelia.

And I'm...

Dramatic pause. Two, three,
four, five, six, seven...

Bernie.

I intend to be surprised
by whatever is in here.

And cut!

I'm sorry, Zane,

but I don't think we can do this.

Of course you can.

I made something for you
during your training.

You weren't ready then,
but you're ready now.

Look under the table.

Dubbie glovies!

Now, take us on our journey.

He really believes in us.

Let's do this.

For Zane!

Action.

Behold, a cardboard box of mystery.

But how does one turn
mystery into history?

We unbox.

And so, today's unboxing adventure ends

with this aerodynamic wonder.

And what magnificent journey will
this glorious chopper go on?

Let's just say the sky is the limit.

And cut.

- Yes!
- Whoo!

We did it!

Just like I knew you could.

Wait a minute.

I know what's going on here.

You faked that injury.

You just wanted to put us on the spot,

so you could show us
what we were capable of.

Oh, you sneaky, little guy,

you really put one over
on us, huh, buddy?

My hand!

So maybe that was a real injury.

Yeah.

Oh, well. Free gloves.

Why don't I trust atoms?

Because they make up everything.

Just a little humes
with the chems, people.

Dramatic music? Before lunch?

To the hallway!

- Hey, guys, I'm Paige.
- I'm Frankie.

And we're Bizaardvark!

Or are we?

Today is the most important day
in Bizaardvark's history,

because we have decided
to add... a third member.

Which begs the question...

Who is number three?

I could... That's my... I...

Interested!

It's... Principal Karen!

That's me!

Welcome to Bizaardvark.

Here's your official jacket.

And here is your official
rehearsal schedule.

Well, would you look at that?

Rehearsal starts right now. Come on, PK.

Well, I can't go. I have to teach.

It's my job.

Oh, I mean, sure, it's your job,

but is it really?

Wink, wink.

Yes, it is.

Oh, look, Ms. Manino is here.

Wait. Ms. Manino is real?

Yeah, it's not like she's an actor
like the rest of these kids.

Ah-ha! So, they are all actors!

Indeed we are.

From the performing arts school

that's being fumigated for the summer.

They're doing Death of a
Salesman in the fall.

Wait.

So, summer school is real,

and you are supposed to be here.

Wait. What about
my chemistry final project?

I distinctly remember doing that,

because it was due
the same day we shot our...

"Let's Get Ripped" video.

Welcome to the Bizaardvark workout plan!

Let's get ripped!

Oh, no!

Wait. I think I ripped up my
final project in that video too.

Oh, yeah, look at that.

According to our records,

you also should have been
enrolled in summer school.

Great catch, Paige.

Wait. What?

Now, the three of us
can spend the whole summer

in here practicing for Bizaardvark.

This is so zonk!

Okay, plan B. You invite her
to sleep over. I'll get the rope.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com