Bizaardvark (2016–…): Season 3, Episode 4 - No Way Whoa - full transcript

Hey, everybody! Welcome
to another episode of

What's in M'Hair?

♪ What, what, what, what ♪

♪ What's in my hair? ♪

Alright!

Sweet!

More hair!

Oh, yeah.

And that was another episode of

What's in M'Hair?

♪ What, what, what, what ♪



♪ What's in my hair? ♪

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

- Hey!
- Hey!

♪ Let's go make some videos ♪

- Hey!
- Hey!

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com

Alright, Frankie.

You've dangerously
combined all the cereals

from the cereal bar into one bowl.

Dig in!

What does it taste like?

Is it like biting into a rainbow?

Can you taste a million flavors?

Is your mouth alive
for the first time ever?



It tastes like chocolate.

Ladies!

I have very important news.

Rory Finch,

from the popular online
entertainment show,

No Way, Whoa!

is coming to do a piece
on the Vuuugle House.

Rory Finch is coming here?

She's like the biggest
influencer on the Internet.

Oh! Remember when she had on

Roshana, the painting elephant?

No way!

Whoa!

I heard because of that No Way, Whoa!

Roshana's last painting
sold for $2 million.

Two point three.

I had to have it!

Anywho.

I'm looking for someone to be
the face of the Vuuugle House.

We have faces!

Let me finish.

I've chosen you two!

- Whoo!
- It worked!

Remember,

her channel has 10 million subscribers,

so if the piece is great,

it will be great for the entire house.

Thank you, Liam.

We promise we will
handle this responsibility

with grace and maturity.

You hear that, suckas?

We're the face of this house!

Oh, Frankie!

This could be huge for Bizaardvark.

Like, if we meet Rory Finch,

and we do something that makes her say,

"No way, whoa!"

We'll be Internet superstars!

Yeah! But she doesn't just
give out "No way, whoas."

You gots to earn dem whoas!

Whoa.

Sorry. I'm just riled up.

Ooh! She's probably gonna interview us.

What's your quickest, and yet,
most interesting story?

Okay, one time,

I was sitting on this bench, right?

When a baby bird landed on my shoulder,

and we whistled a song together.

I just got chills.

Use it.

And I'm gonna do a thing

where I thoughtfully touch my lips

in a way that makes me
seem deeper than I am.

Wow. That is some next-level stuff.

On a related note,

Rory Finch wears scarves,

so you know what I'm thinking?

You don't even need to say it out loud.

Just to be clear, we're
gonna wear scarves, right?

You kinda ruined it
by checking in with me.

Would've been cooler
if we just kept nodding.

Okay, redo, redo.

You know what I'm thinking?

So, we're both gonna wear scarves?

What is wrong with you?

What's in the boxes?

I ordered some new dumbbells,

kettlebells, barbells.

Gotta use the bells

if you wanna gain the swells.

I just made that up...

an hour ago and practiced it.

Those boxes look pretty heavy.

How much are you gonna
tip the delivery guys?

Tip?

Uh, hey, um, uh,

you know what, guys?

You can just leave the rest
of the boxes on the landing.

Right there is good.

Alright, thanks, boys.

Drop by for a lift "sesh"

if you ever feel like getting yoked!

Bernie,

could you please
move your stupid weights?

Sure!

Okay!

What happened to your leg?

Oh, you didn't hear?

It's a pretty crazy story.

Yo, Bernie!

I saw a guy online break a cinder block

with his bare feet.

You think you can do it?

Absolutely!

Except I broke my foot yesterday

playing "Duck, Duck, Goose."

Bernie, next time you tell that story,

you might wanna change the ending

to make it seem
a little less embarrassing.

Good call.

Except I broke my foot
yesterday shaving my legs.

Yeah.

Alright!

Let's just move these boxes,

so I can get out of this
dungeon of sadness.

Bernie?

If we can't move these,

we'll never move those!

Oh!

We're stuck down here!

Because you were too cheap to tip!

Some might say
"financially responsible."

Hello?

Anyone?

Amelia.

We're two flights of concrete steps

deep into the core of the Earth.

There's no cell service, no Wi-Fi,

and Grandma had me
soundproof the basement

cause I like to listen to the
"Puppy Princess" soundtrack

with the bass turned up!

♪ Princess Puppy... ♪

This is the remix.

Pretty trill, right?

Alright, boys, it was great meeting you!

Bye, Rory Finch!

Oh.

I'm nervous. Are you nervous?

Nah.

"Nervous" is a weird word.

Are you even sure
it's pronounced "nervous"

and not "ner-vowce?"

Now I'm pretty sure it's "ner-voice."

We're getting in our heads.

We just need Rory to
give us a "No way, whoa!"

and we're gold just be cool!

Hey, Rory! We're Frankie...

I mean, Paige...

I mean, uh, I'm Paige, she's Frankie.

What, what!

Nice glasses.

So, what are you?
Nearsighted? Farsighted?

Is it warm in here?

Alright, girls, let's get into this.

So, what did it feel like

when you two heard you got
into the Vuuugle House?

Well, uh, at first, we were nervous.

She means "ner-vowce."

Um...

I... I have a bird story.

Oh, yes, yes, it's very powerful.

Tell it.

Um, well, a bird landed on my shoulder,

I started whistling,

and then, it started whistling!

No way!

So...

how long have you two
been working together?

Oh, like around, like, four years.

Funny story!

When we first met,

my braids were only to here,

and her hair was to here!

But no braids though!

No way!

Sorry, I was just doing
some lip stretches.

You know, "Bizaardvark" is the words

"bizarre" and "aardvark" combined.

It's called a portmanteau.

No way!

Whoa, look at the time!

Let's get some footage of the house.

Thanks for hanging, girls.

- Uh, yeah, bye!
- Nice to meet you!

Bye!

Was that a "No way, whoa!"

Or a "No way!"
Period. New thought. "Whoa!"

Well, I mean it was a "no way"

and "whoa" in that order,

so why are we even questioning it?

Yeah! I mean, it's not like she said,

"No way," comma, "whoa" question mark.

What is with you and punctuation, dude?

You're right.

Hey, looks like we got ourselves

a "No way, whoa,"

exclamation point!

Oh, by the way, nice
ad lib on that hair story.

Way to think on your feet.

No, when you came in and clarified

that you didn't have a braid,

that was magical.

Frankie, Rory Finch just posted

the new No Way, Whoa! promo.

What up, my jelly beans?

I'm Rory Finch,

and this is No Way, Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Whoa!

Today, I took a trip
to the Vuuugle House

where I met two awesome peeps

that made me sit up and say, "No way!

Whoa!"

We did it!

Their names are...

Zane and Rodney!

What?!

Time to make our favorite snack!

Human PB&J!

I only scratched the surface

with these two little dude nuggets,

so you know I'm going back tomorrow

for another hang sesh.

Later, jelly beans.

What the heck?

That was our "No way, whoa."

I can't believe we blew it!

We totally blew it.

I mean, we're Bizaardvark.

We didn't even do anything funny.

But we still can.

Rory's coming back here tomorrow.

Let's show her how funny we are,

steal the spotlight back
from Zane and Rodney,

and get the "No way, whoa," we deserve.

Or...

we could be mature,

move on with our lives,

and let two 10-year-olds
enjoy their moment of glory.

Oh, let's go steal from children.

Nicely done, gentlemen.

Getting a "No way, whoa,"

from Rory Finch is a...

"mad dope achieve."

And Mother says I can't
hang with the youths.

Wow!

You hear that, Rodney?

Yeah! Liam has a mom.

I caught that, too.

But also,

he thinks we're a big deal.

Want to wear our sunglasses inside?

Does Liam have a mom?

And we're rolling.

So, boys,

what's it like living together?

Oh, a lotta laughs, Ror.

Lotta laughs.

Alright, time to show Rory Finch

just how funny we are.

Oh, hey!

Hi! Didn't realize you guys
were filming in here!

Please, please, don't mind us.

We're just heading outside
to shoot a little comedy video.

Those costumes are hilarious!

What's the video about?

It's called "The Sheepish Rappers."

We rap hardcore,

but them immediately apologize,
'cause we're sheepish.

Also, you may not have noticed,

but we are... dressed like sheep.

Sounds rando.

Mind if I check it out?

I mean, sure,

but we're not really prepared, so...

Ah, yeah!

It's about to get woolly up in here!

♪ My name is Sheepy,
and I'm here to say ♪

♪ I'm comin' for you
in a really hard way ♪

Or not.

I'm sorry. Was that too aggressive?

I haven't even asked anything about you.

♪ I don't think so ♪

♪ My rhymes, they are tight ♪

♪ Takin' you down
all through the night ♪

Or not!

I don't mean to make you feel bad

about how tight or not
tight your rhymes are.

Maybe mine are too tight.

I'm really glad we had this talk.

♪ We're sheepish ♪

♪ We're sheepish, yo, we're sheepish ♪

♪ We're sheepish, yo. ♪

That was hilarious!

They're sheepish, like timid,

but also, they're dressed like sheep.

So it works on two levels,

because it is dumb and smart!

No way!

Double whoa!

Double whoa!

Let's talk.

- Oh.
- Okay.

What just happened?

I don't know.

I was looking that way.

I'll tell you what happened.

They stole the spotlight from us!

We need to get Rory
to focus on us again.

Rodney, how are your comedy skills?

I tell a pretty sick
"knock, knock" joke.

- Knock, knock.
- Who's there?

Rodney!

Okay, we can't out-comedy them.

Hey! We're younger than they are,

which means we're cuter than they are.

Are you asking me to turn on the cute?

'Cause once I turn it on,

there ain't no turning it off.

Turn it on, you hairy pile of cute.

Turn it on!

We've been stuck down here for a day!

How come no one's looking for me?

First of all,

thanks for including me in your concern.

Secondly,

did you forget to turn
your hologram off?

Hi, y'all.

Hi, y'all.

Hi, y'all.

Dang it!

That thing's so charming
and full of charisma.

No one's gonna know it's not me!

Don't worry.

People are definitely
gonna be looking for me.

I made a little announcement yesterday.

Despite the current lower leg sitch,

the Bern-dawg will still be
lifting in the basement

all weekend!

Upper bod excluse.

And everyone's invited to watch.

It's gonna get real sweaty down there!

Okay, so no one's
gonna be looking for us!

This is a disaster!

You know, I'm actually
kind of enjoying this time.

It's given me the chance to work

on a passion project of mine.

Making sock puppets
of everyone in the house!

Hey, y'all!

I'm Sock-Melia Sockworth.

My favorite music is "sock and roll,"

and all my money's in the "sock market."

It's good, right?

I... I...

I don't understand you.

Gosh. I'm so sick of being down here!

Oh gosh. And I'm tired,

and I'm hungry!

I got some pretzels in my pocket.

Wait a minute.

You always stuff food in your pockets!

You're a notorious food hoarder!

Aw!

Thank you!

Where do you keep your cargo pants?

Looks like it's "All You Can Eat"

at the Bernie buffet!

♪ Bernie's food pants ♪

♪ Bernie's food pants ♪

♪ Bernie's food pants ♪

♪ Bernie's food pants ♪

♪ Bernie's food pants ♪

♪ In his pockets ♪

♪ There is snack food ♪

♪ And it's linty and disgusting ♪

♪ Don't try this at home ♪

♪ Bernie's food pants ♪

♪ Bernie's food pants ♪

♪ Yummy yum yum, yummy yum yum ♪

♪ Yum yum yum yum yum yum ♪

That was both the weirdest

and most satisfying meal I've ever had.

Yeah.

We don't try to be funny.

We try to be.

Funny part just happens.

Yeah, we don't really
do it for the laughs,

but lucky for us,

they happen constantly.

No way!

Whoa!

Cute overload!

Um, let's get a shot of these
adorable little fellas.

And the puppies too.

Frankie, what are they doing?

Are they stealing our spotlight?

I don't know.

But if anyone's gonna be the
immature 10-year-olds around here,

it's gonna be us.

Quick! What can we do that they can't?

Uh...

Rory, we can do a synchronized dance!

We can?

- Five, six, seven, eight.
- Five, six, five, six,

- One, two, three, four,
- seven, eight, five, six,

- five, six, seven, eight.
- seven, eight, five, six.

Synchronized dance! Synchronize!
Synchronized dance!

Dude.

The puppies aren't working anymore.

What other talents do you have?

I can impersonate Gary
from the grocery store.

Do it!

Welcome
to the grocery store!

Wow. It was like Gary was in the room.

Is this something?

Am I doing something?

You better be, 'cause I'm doing it too.

Don't look at them, Rory! Look at us!

Knock it off, suspenders!

This is our "No way, whoa!"

No, it's ours!

Hey!

I thought this was
a house full of creatives

who loved to work together.

Turns out it's just a house

full of people who fight with each
other to steal the spotlight.

No way!

No.

Also, I'm taking these puppies.

A "No way, no," from Rory Finch

will ruin the
Vuuugle House's reputation.

Liam, we are so sorry.

Oh, you're sorry.

Well, boo boo kissed.

All better now. Thanks!

You know, the more time
we spend with him

the less his sarcasm stings.

I was just trying to apologize!

Look...

you stole the spotlight from them,

and you stole the spotlight from them!

All of you fix this

before Rory posts her piece!

So... what do we do now?

We could try sharing the spotlight.

You mean,

like if we all did a performance
together or something?

No, I meant pool our money,

buy a spotlight,

and split it into four pieces.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm leaning towards Zane's way.

Yeah, if the four of us did
a big, awesome performance

and Rory liked it,

we could get the first ever
quadruple "No way, whoa."

Yeah. Okay, let's do it.

But how are we gonna get Rory
to come back to the house?

I can impersonate Liam.

- What?

Um, different Liam.

"Different Liam."

I can impersonate...

that guy.

Rodney, I've heard your impersonations.

They're not great. Are you sure you...

Rory!

I have something I'd like to run by you.

Got a minute?

Yet his channel is
pulling stuff out of his hair.

Okay, Mr. Squirrel. Let's make a deal.

If you rescue me,

I'll give you a tour
of the Vuuugle House.

What's that?

You want $5,000 worth of acorns?

No deal!

Amelia Duckworth will not be swindled!

Hi, I'm Paige!

I like sea otters and emotions,

and other people's problems.

Hi, I'm Frankie.

I have glasses and...

Wow.

I really don't spend
a lot of time with Frankie.

Bernie! Bernie, we're losing it, man!

We're never making it
out of this stupid basement!

I'm so weak and...

There's no air, Bernie!

No air!

Of course there's air.

Just turn on the A/C unit.

Wait.

Where does that thing connect to?

The entire house.

That's why the duct is so huge.

I mean, one or even two people our size

could fit inside that thing

and crawl around.

That'd be fun, huh?

Oh, well, back to the puppets.

Bernie!

If we unscrew that thing,

we can climb outta here!

You should have taken the deal

when you had the chance, squirrel!

Guys, you've got
your work cut out for you.

I'm only giving out
one "No way, whoa," today,

and there is a giraffe in Fresno

with a short neck and a long body.

Thank you so much for coming back, Rory.

We have something
we really want to show you.

Alright, we stayed up all night

writing out lyrics and
working on our choreography.

Let's get the biggest "No way"

that's even been "whoa'ed."

♪ This is our moment ♪

We made it!

We're alive!

Um...

this is definitely how I broke my leg.

Not shaving them.

What is going on?

I was locked in the basement

and now I'm free!

Again, thanks for including me.

N-n-n-n no w-w-w-way!

No way! No way!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Five whoa's.

Now this is what I thought the
Vuuugle House was all about.

I want to learn all about
you brave survivors,

and then...

I wanna tell the world all about you.

- But we did all this...
- It's okay.

We fixed it. If it's good for the house,

it's good for all of us.

Rory Finch is here?

Guys, did you know Rory Finch is here?

How do I look?

Great.

Guys! Crutches.

Ah, I'll catch up.

We're here with Amelia and Bernie

who spent two days
trapped in a basement.

Tell us. What happened down there?

It was crazy.

There was no Wi-Fi!

And Bernie made a sock puppet show.

A puppet show?

I love it!

Uh, can you show us a little?

Sorry.

Didn't bring any of my puppets.

It's okay!

I made one of my own.

Hey, hey, it's Bernie Socks!

I like to get my swole on,

so I can get yoked!

Also, I'm cheap.

Coo-coo.

That was pretty good.

Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com