Bizaardvark (2016–…): Season 2, Episode 6 - Hawkward - full transcript
Against the advice of Frankie, Paige decides to snatch the school mascot named "Hawk the Owl," in order to set it free.
Hey, guys! I'm Paige!
I'm Frankie, and we're Bizaardvark.
- Remember when you were a baby?
- The answer is no,
because the human brain does not
make memories until you're three.
I think my first memory
was when I was in preschool.
- Me, too.
- Yeah, I think I was taking a nap,
and I had this awesome purple pillow
that I absolutely loved.
I remember a milestone for me was
making my first best friend.
- Yeah.
- Aww.
It wasn't you. I didn't know her.
Back then.
Didn't know you back then.
- Still hurts, though.
- Okay. Well...
Here's our latest video,
"The Worst Lullaby Ever."
- Mommy...
- Time for bed, little baby.
(baby noises)
I've never sung a lullaby before,
so I hope this goes well.
(guitar playing)
♪ Now it's time to go to sleep ♪
♪ You've had a busy day ♪
♪ Let your eyelids slowly close ♪
♪ Your cares will drift away ♪
♪ You're snuggled in your blankie ♪
♪ And pillow made of down ♪
♪ Hop aboard that sleepy train ♪
♪ Express to night-night town ♪
Kick it!
♪ Maybe you'll have sweet dreams ♪
♪ Where you're dancin' on a cloud ♪
♪ Listen to my calmin' voice ♪
♪ I'll try not to sing too loud ♪
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
the Main Street Gospel Choir!
- ♪ Go to sleep ♪
- ♪ Go to sleep ♪
- ♪ Count some sheep ♪
- ♪ Count some sheep ♪
♪ One sheep, two sheep
Three sheep ♪
♪ It's a whole barn of sheep, child ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Sheep sheep sheep sheep ♪
(drumming)
Oh, come on!
♪ Sleep, sleep
Go to sleep, go to sleep ♪
♪ Go to sleep ♪
♪ Close your eyes and
drift off into dream land ♪
- ♪ Don't let anything keep you awake ♪
- ♪ Sweet dreams ♪
♪ Focus on soothing sounds ♪
(cymbals crash)
♪ Go ♪
♪ To ♪
♪ Sleep ♪
(banging gong)
(booming noises)
ms, little girl.
Okay, guys, same time tomorrow.
Both: ♪ You could spend all day ♪
♪ On a swing eating a baguette ♪
♪ But why do boring things like that ♪
♪ When there's the Internet? ♪
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
- ♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
♪ You could watch Dirk
doing crazy dares ♪
- ♪ Saying, "Here we go" ♪
- Here we go!
♪ He'll do anything you want ♪
♪ Just don't try this at home ♪
♪ Or watch Amelia teaching ya ♪
♪ How to look your best ♪
♪ Making over people is
her never-ending quest ♪
♪ You could watch... ♪
Do you have constant foot odor?
♪ You could watch us make
ridiculously funny videos ♪
♪ Like the one with evil pop-up books ♪
♪ That punch you in the nose ♪
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
And I... I missed it.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
Hey, Sierra High!
I seem to have lost my watch.
What time is it?
Students: Pep rally time!
Whooo!
I was gonna say "too early for this."
Amen, sister.
Now let's amp up that school spirit
by bringing out the Sierra High Hawwwwk!
(cheering and applause)
(owl hooting)
Hey, isn't that an owl?
I don't know, let me check.
Hey! Isn't that an owl?
- Yes, technically.
- Yes, technically.
We came up with the mascot
before we knew how tough it was
to actually get a hawk.
But, we named this owl "Hawk."
So it still works.
Go Hawks!
Hawk! Go Hawk!
Saved it!
Do the wave!
(cheering)
I don't like how Hawk's in a cage.
I don't like where this is going.
You know, I've always
passionately believed...
Paige/Frankie: Whoaaah!
That animals deserve to be free.
- We are not okay with this?
- No.
- Right?
- No, no, no, don't rope me into this.
- I...
- Paige/Frankie: Whooooa!
I'm completely fine with it.
That owl has a great life.
People cheer for it just for existing.
I agree... we need to do something.
All-school flash mob!
(cheering)
Again, there is no "we."
And whatever plan you're hatching,
I'm sure it's...
Paige/Frankie: Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!
Totally dumb!
Paige/Frankie: Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!
Get excited, Ameliacs,
because Alisha Marie and I
are workin' on the DIY
collab of the century!
We don't wanna give away
too much, but I've got
two words: aloe, vera.
I know your "Aloe Vera Cures Everything"
video has 20 million views,
but... this project
doesn't involve aloe vera.
But it could.
Quick announcement, Dareheads.
I'm takin' the week off from dares
to babysit my buddy's little brother
while he's out of town.
I'm gonna nurture this kid so hard,
by the time I'm done with him,
he's gonna be a delightful young man!
I worship the ground you walk on.
What was that?
I said, uh, it's time for lunch.
Surprising life hack: A fun way
to add texture to any sandwich
is by adding aloe vera.
Okay, I find that hard to believe.
Oh, my gosh! This is how I eat now!
Where's DareMeBro?
Hey, you must be Patrick.
And I'm Bernie. I know we're
gonna get along great
because kids, like all people, love me.
(groans)
Everybody hates me!
Oh, noooo!
Okay, so remember how you
said the owl looked sad?
Nooo...
And remember how you said
if we stand for nothing,
we are nothing, so why not
stand up for animal rights?
Nooo!
It's Hawk the owl!
I see that. Why is it in my room?
So we can liberate it together!
Like we talked about, remember?
First of all, there is no "we."
What's second of all?
There is no "we"!
L... I don't want any part of this,
and I definitely don't want
that thing in my room.
Thing?
Him?
Her?
I'm not checkin'.
Whoo! Yeah!
Gotcha! Game's over, tough guy,
you're not escapin' these claws.
Aaah-haha, that was all bone!
Ooh, lemme take a look at that.
Dude, do you shave your legs?
It's a... wrestling thing.
(girls screaming)
Don't move!
We caught this little monster trying
to destroy the amazing DIY project
that we've been working on
for over a month.
It's a shower chandelier.
It hangs over your shower
and can dispense shampoo,
conditioner, and body wash.
Elegant and practical.
Nice!
You can also put aloe vera in it.
What is your deal?
Must break! Must break!
We have to post this video by tomorrow,
and without that shower chandelier,
we've got nothing.
If he breaks it, we break you guys!
Hot. I mean...
No, that's hot.
Lemme go, I have to break stuff!
How are you so strong?
That's it! I'm callin' your brother
to come back and take you home.
I can't let you do that.
All right. It's time I
share some intel with you.
And I'm only telling you this because
you look like two smart guys.
- That is true.
- I wasn't paying attention.
I'm not a regular eight-year-old.
I'm an undercover agent in the CIA.
That's ridiculous!
You're a little kid
who likes to destroy stuff.
That's just my cover.
That shower chandelier is a threat
to our national security.
What?
Think about it.
If our enemies got ahold
of something like that,
they could use the soap dispensers
as condiment dispensers
during wartime.
While our soldiers are squeezing
little ketchup and mustard packets
onto their hot dogs, our enemies are
done with lunch and ready to attack!
What?
So what do you say? Will you guys help
me destroy that shower chandelier
and save your country?
Patrick, would you give us a minute?
Okay, we've got an eight-year-old
telling us he's a CIA agent
who needs our help
to destroy a shower chandelier
for national security reasons.
Do we believe him?
- I absolutely do.
- Me, too.
We will help you defend our nation!
Excellent! Now, will someone
take me to the bathroom?
I'm not allowed to go tinkle by myself.
(sigh) Been there.
(majestic music playing)
All right, you beautiful creature.
The moment has come to set you free.
Soar! Explore! Live!
- W... W... W... Wait! Paige, wait!
- (music turned off)
What are you doin'?
The music was swellin', man!
Birds living in captivity have a
hard time surviving in the wild.
You can't free Hawk the owl because he
doesn't know how to fend for himself.
Oh.
Oh, no.
I just wanna point out this is the one
time I didn't get us into trouble.
This is awful! What do
we do with the owl?
It's okay. Just be calm, okay?
Obviously the first thing
we do is stop saying "we"!
- You gotta take him back!
- Hey! Hawk's not a pair of cargo pants,
I can't just return him.
Ugh. Living in a cage forever
must be miserable.
(gasp) You don't think returned
pants feel miserable, do you?
No, that's dumb.
Well, then what's your plan?
I don't know, this is my first owl.
But I guess for now Hawk is our
responsibility, and he must be hungry.
We have to feed him.
(mice squeaking)
He eats mice?
Do you not know anything about owls?
What if we give him
the option of a nice kale salad?
He could be a vegan
and not even realize it.
Paige, there's no such thing
as a vegan owl.
Hey! That's a micro aggression!
I think.
Whatever. Why don't we let Hawk
decide what he wants to eat?
Hoo.
Did the mice run away while
we were out of the room?
Yes, Paige. That's
exactly what happened.
(screams)
I can't believe someone dared you
to give us a year's supply
of nail polish!
You know, a fun substitute
for nail polish is aloe vera.
Is someone sponsoring you?
And how can I get in on it? (giggles)
Bad news, ladies.
There is no nail polish.
What?
You can't leave this room.
Patrick works for the CIA
and must destroy your shower chandelier
as a matter of national security.
What?
Bernie's not explaining it right.
It involves hot dogs.
Did you ever think that the
little brat is just playing you
because he likes destroyin' stuff?
The door's locked!
That kid locked us in here!
You guys are idiots.
Amelia, would you give us a minute?
Okay... Amelia is saying
that we're idiots.
Do we believe her?
- I absolutely do.
- Me, too.
I've been wanting
to free Hawk the owl for years.
But finally, some brave,
anonymous hero had the guts
to step up and do the right thing.
It was Paige!
(cheers and applause)
All chanting: Paige! Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige!
Both: Paige! Paige!
Paige, wake up!
You were having a hero dream,
weren't you?
Yeah.
You know it's not
gonna be like that, right?
Yeah.
Hawk is out there somewhere.
We need to find him.
You, search the gym.
You, search the cafeteria.
You... You're fired.
I know this is an awkward time to tell
you, but we both knew it was coming.
Principal Karen? You wanted to see us?
Yes. Our majestic friend,
Hawk the owl, has been stolen!
(gasp)
(gasp)
I need you girls
to keep an ear to the ground
in case you hear anything.
What's with the phones?
Well, I've set up an owl hotline center,
where anyone can call in
with tips on Hawk's whereabouts.
(phone rings)
Hawk hotline!
Yes, my refrigerator's running, why?
Oh, ha, ha, very funny.
Man, you are determined
to find out who took Hawk.
Duh. It is a federal crime
to take an owl.
Whoa! Federal crime!
Wow-wow-wow!
(phone rings)
Hawk hotline!
No, I don't care what kind
of bagel can fly!
- (phone rings)
- Hawk hotline!
A plain bagel?
(chuckles)
Okay, that's actually not bad.
Hawk is in danger. Only trained
individuals with a license
can possess an owl.
I am one of those individuals.
That's pretty cool, right?
Both: Uhhh...
(phone buzzes)
Ooh. Animal Control says Hawk
has a GPS tracker on him.
I just have to download
this app to find his location.
- We gotta go move Hawk.
- Totally.
We gotta run, PK.
Good luck on your search.
Check Bernie's locker!
He's destroying your studio.
Why hasn't he gone for the
shower chandelier yet?
Because he's good.
He's been one step ahead of us
from the get-go.
He's playin' chess,
we're playin' checkers.
I hid it in the lounge.
Another interesting theory.
He's in the lounge!
Oh, no, no, no. How are
we gonna get outta here?
Did someone say aloe vera?
Quick! Gimme a shoelace!
I haven't learned how to tie my...
I mean, uh, I prefer Velcro.
I got one!
Now stand back and witness the
power of nature's miracle goo!
If this doesn't work, I've got the key.
Always have a plan B, Bern Man.
Where are we going?
Aww... do you hear that, Hawk?
She said "we."
We just gotta keep movin' before
Principal Karen tracks us.
- (knocking on door)
- Girls? Are you in there?
It's Principal Karen! We need to talk!
(knocking on window)
Hello in there!
Helloooo!
It's not gonna end like this, Hawk!
It's probably gonna end like this, Hawk!
Okay, I'll take Hawk upstairs. Get
rid of her as fast as you can.
(knocking on window)
- Hellooo?
- Hi.
Principal Karen!
What are you doing here?
So, I'm waiting for the owl
tracking app to download,
and then I'm like, duh, the best way to
find Hawk is to post a missing owl video
up on our channel.
- Our channel?
- Bizaardvark's channel.
Oh, our channel.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Uh, w... well, you can't make
a video without Paige,
who is definitely not here,
- so...
- You're right, Paige is the funny one.
Excuse me?
In the meantime, I'll just
wait for this owl tracking app
to finish downloading.
What's your Wi-Fi password?
Is it "password"?
- No!
- "Password 1"?
Yeah.
Great. It downloaded! Victory selfie!
(click)
- (beeping)
- Oh! He's close!
As a licensed owl handler,
I know how to call him...
Hawk? Hawk, are you here?
Hawk!
Yeah, I got it!
Unhand that chandelier, you little brat!
No, give it to me!
- It's Amelia's, not yours!
- It's not yours, it's mine!
Give it...
I guess you don't love
your country anymore, huh?
You're not fooling anyone, kid,
give it a rest.
Don't listen to her, soldier.
Hand me that chandelier.
No, give us the chandelier.
It's a threat to our nation.
It's a fun shampoo holder.
Millions of lives are at stake!
It's a plastic thingy
with flowery body wash.
Come on!
Patrick!
He's a good kid!
Principal Karen:
Frankie! I got a signal!
It's close by!
Hawk! Hawk!
All right, Hawk. It's now or never.
(majestic music playing)
You're gonna make it out there!
I know you're not meant
to live in the wild,
but it's either this or the cage,
and you've gotta take that chance.
And I, uh, packed you some
kale in case you get hungry.
And don't let the other owls tell
you that veganism is pretentious.
It's a life choice, and they
can mind their own business.
Now go! Be free and live your best life!
Freedom beckons!
Ahhhhh, shoot.
- Hawk!
- (gasp) Oh, my gosh!
Where did it come from?
Paige! What did you do?
Principal Karen, uh, I can explain.
I know it was wrong to take Hawk,
but... this animal should not
have to live its entire life
locked in a prison.
He deserves to be free.
I agree. That's why we need to get
him back to the sanctuary right now.
Sanctuary?
I thought Hawk lived
in this cage at school.
Oh, no. The school only brings
Hawk out for pep rallies.
Then he goes right back to a
hundred-acre nature sanctuary
where he can roam free.
It's an incredible life.
In fact, this is the longest
Hawk's ever been in his cage.
He's probably miserable.
We... fed him a mouse.
But you two did commit a crime.
So your punishment is to
take an owl safety seminar.
Oh. That's not so bad.
It's six hours long, and I teach
it mostly through dance.
Frankie/Paige: Ahhhh.
You'll also have to pay a steep fine,
and serve community service.
Now, come on, Hawk.
Let's get you back
to your treetop mansion.
Where the only limit you have
is the sky.
Wow.
We should not have gotten involved.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
I'm Frankie, and we're Bizaardvark.
- Remember when you were a baby?
- The answer is no,
because the human brain does not
make memories until you're three.
I think my first memory
was when I was in preschool.
- Me, too.
- Yeah, I think I was taking a nap,
and I had this awesome purple pillow
that I absolutely loved.
I remember a milestone for me was
making my first best friend.
- Yeah.
- Aww.
It wasn't you. I didn't know her.
Back then.
Didn't know you back then.
- Still hurts, though.
- Okay. Well...
Here's our latest video,
"The Worst Lullaby Ever."
- Mommy...
- Time for bed, little baby.
(baby noises)
I've never sung a lullaby before,
so I hope this goes well.
(guitar playing)
♪ Now it's time to go to sleep ♪
♪ You've had a busy day ♪
♪ Let your eyelids slowly close ♪
♪ Your cares will drift away ♪
♪ You're snuggled in your blankie ♪
♪ And pillow made of down ♪
♪ Hop aboard that sleepy train ♪
♪ Express to night-night town ♪
Kick it!
♪ Maybe you'll have sweet dreams ♪
♪ Where you're dancin' on a cloud ♪
♪ Listen to my calmin' voice ♪
♪ I'll try not to sing too loud ♪
Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome
the Main Street Gospel Choir!
- ♪ Go to sleep ♪
- ♪ Go to sleep ♪
- ♪ Count some sheep ♪
- ♪ Count some sheep ♪
♪ One sheep, two sheep
Three sheep ♪
♪ It's a whole barn of sheep, child ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
- ♪ Count 'em ♪
- ♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Sheep sheep sheep sheep ♪
(drumming)
Oh, come on!
♪ Sleep, sleep
Go to sleep, go to sleep ♪
♪ Go to sleep ♪
♪ Close your eyes and
drift off into dream land ♪
- ♪ Don't let anything keep you awake ♪
- ♪ Sweet dreams ♪
♪ Focus on soothing sounds ♪
(cymbals crash)
♪ Go ♪
♪ To ♪
♪ Sleep ♪
(banging gong)
(booming noises)
ms, little girl.
Okay, guys, same time tomorrow.
Both: ♪ You could spend all day ♪
♪ On a swing eating a baguette ♪
♪ But why do boring things like that ♪
♪ When there's the Internet? ♪
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
- ♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
- ♪ Hey! ♪
♪ You could watch Dirk
doing crazy dares ♪
- ♪ Saying, "Here we go" ♪
- Here we go!
♪ He'll do anything you want ♪
♪ Just don't try this at home ♪
♪ Or watch Amelia teaching ya ♪
♪ How to look your best ♪
♪ Making over people is
her never-ending quest ♪
♪ You could watch... ♪
Do you have constant foot odor?
♪ You could watch us make
ridiculously funny videos ♪
♪ Like the one with evil pop-up books ♪
♪ That punch you in the nose ♪
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
♪ Hey! Hey! ♪
♪ Let's go make some videos ♪
And I... I missed it.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
Hey, Sierra High!
I seem to have lost my watch.
What time is it?
Students: Pep rally time!
Whooo!
I was gonna say "too early for this."
Amen, sister.
Now let's amp up that school spirit
by bringing out the Sierra High Hawwwwk!
(cheering and applause)
(owl hooting)
Hey, isn't that an owl?
I don't know, let me check.
Hey! Isn't that an owl?
- Yes, technically.
- Yes, technically.
We came up with the mascot
before we knew how tough it was
to actually get a hawk.
But, we named this owl "Hawk."
So it still works.
Go Hawks!
Hawk! Go Hawk!
Saved it!
Do the wave!
(cheering)
I don't like how Hawk's in a cage.
I don't like where this is going.
You know, I've always
passionately believed...
Paige/Frankie: Whoaaah!
That animals deserve to be free.
- We are not okay with this?
- No.
- Right?
- No, no, no, don't rope me into this.
- I...
- Paige/Frankie: Whooooa!
I'm completely fine with it.
That owl has a great life.
People cheer for it just for existing.
I agree... we need to do something.
All-school flash mob!
(cheering)
Again, there is no "we."
And whatever plan you're hatching,
I'm sure it's...
Paige/Frankie: Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!
Totally dumb!
Paige/Frankie: Caw! Caw! Caw! Caw!
Get excited, Ameliacs,
because Alisha Marie and I
are workin' on the DIY
collab of the century!
We don't wanna give away
too much, but I've got
two words: aloe, vera.
I know your "Aloe Vera Cures Everything"
video has 20 million views,
but... this project
doesn't involve aloe vera.
But it could.
Quick announcement, Dareheads.
I'm takin' the week off from dares
to babysit my buddy's little brother
while he's out of town.
I'm gonna nurture this kid so hard,
by the time I'm done with him,
he's gonna be a delightful young man!
I worship the ground you walk on.
What was that?
I said, uh, it's time for lunch.
Surprising life hack: A fun way
to add texture to any sandwich
is by adding aloe vera.
Okay, I find that hard to believe.
Oh, my gosh! This is how I eat now!
Where's DareMeBro?
Hey, you must be Patrick.
And I'm Bernie. I know we're
gonna get along great
because kids, like all people, love me.
(groans)
Everybody hates me!
Oh, noooo!
Okay, so remember how you
said the owl looked sad?
Nooo...
And remember how you said
if we stand for nothing,
we are nothing, so why not
stand up for animal rights?
Nooo!
It's Hawk the owl!
I see that. Why is it in my room?
So we can liberate it together!
Like we talked about, remember?
First of all, there is no "we."
What's second of all?
There is no "we"!
L... I don't want any part of this,
and I definitely don't want
that thing in my room.
Thing?
Him?
Her?
I'm not checkin'.
Whoo! Yeah!
Gotcha! Game's over, tough guy,
you're not escapin' these claws.
Aaah-haha, that was all bone!
Ooh, lemme take a look at that.
Dude, do you shave your legs?
It's a... wrestling thing.
(girls screaming)
Don't move!
We caught this little monster trying
to destroy the amazing DIY project
that we've been working on
for over a month.
It's a shower chandelier.
It hangs over your shower
and can dispense shampoo,
conditioner, and body wash.
Elegant and practical.
Nice!
You can also put aloe vera in it.
What is your deal?
Must break! Must break!
We have to post this video by tomorrow,
and without that shower chandelier,
we've got nothing.
If he breaks it, we break you guys!
Hot. I mean...
No, that's hot.
Lemme go, I have to break stuff!
How are you so strong?
That's it! I'm callin' your brother
to come back and take you home.
I can't let you do that.
All right. It's time I
share some intel with you.
And I'm only telling you this because
you look like two smart guys.
- That is true.
- I wasn't paying attention.
I'm not a regular eight-year-old.
I'm an undercover agent in the CIA.
That's ridiculous!
You're a little kid
who likes to destroy stuff.
That's just my cover.
That shower chandelier is a threat
to our national security.
What?
Think about it.
If our enemies got ahold
of something like that,
they could use the soap dispensers
as condiment dispensers
during wartime.
While our soldiers are squeezing
little ketchup and mustard packets
onto their hot dogs, our enemies are
done with lunch and ready to attack!
What?
So what do you say? Will you guys help
me destroy that shower chandelier
and save your country?
Patrick, would you give us a minute?
Okay, we've got an eight-year-old
telling us he's a CIA agent
who needs our help
to destroy a shower chandelier
for national security reasons.
Do we believe him?
- I absolutely do.
- Me, too.
We will help you defend our nation!
Excellent! Now, will someone
take me to the bathroom?
I'm not allowed to go tinkle by myself.
(sigh) Been there.
(majestic music playing)
All right, you beautiful creature.
The moment has come to set you free.
Soar! Explore! Live!
- W... W... W... Wait! Paige, wait!
- (music turned off)
What are you doin'?
The music was swellin', man!
Birds living in captivity have a
hard time surviving in the wild.
You can't free Hawk the owl because he
doesn't know how to fend for himself.
Oh.
Oh, no.
I just wanna point out this is the one
time I didn't get us into trouble.
This is awful! What do
we do with the owl?
It's okay. Just be calm, okay?
Obviously the first thing
we do is stop saying "we"!
- You gotta take him back!
- Hey! Hawk's not a pair of cargo pants,
I can't just return him.
Ugh. Living in a cage forever
must be miserable.
(gasp) You don't think returned
pants feel miserable, do you?
No, that's dumb.
Well, then what's your plan?
I don't know, this is my first owl.
But I guess for now Hawk is our
responsibility, and he must be hungry.
We have to feed him.
(mice squeaking)
He eats mice?
Do you not know anything about owls?
What if we give him
the option of a nice kale salad?
He could be a vegan
and not even realize it.
Paige, there's no such thing
as a vegan owl.
Hey! That's a micro aggression!
I think.
Whatever. Why don't we let Hawk
decide what he wants to eat?
Hoo.
Did the mice run away while
we were out of the room?
Yes, Paige. That's
exactly what happened.
(screams)
I can't believe someone dared you
to give us a year's supply
of nail polish!
You know, a fun substitute
for nail polish is aloe vera.
Is someone sponsoring you?
And how can I get in on it? (giggles)
Bad news, ladies.
There is no nail polish.
What?
You can't leave this room.
Patrick works for the CIA
and must destroy your shower chandelier
as a matter of national security.
What?
Bernie's not explaining it right.
It involves hot dogs.
Did you ever think that the
little brat is just playing you
because he likes destroyin' stuff?
The door's locked!
That kid locked us in here!
You guys are idiots.
Amelia, would you give us a minute?
Okay... Amelia is saying
that we're idiots.
Do we believe her?
- I absolutely do.
- Me, too.
I've been wanting
to free Hawk the owl for years.
But finally, some brave,
anonymous hero had the guts
to step up and do the right thing.
It was Paige!
(cheers and applause)
All chanting: Paige! Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige! Paige! Paige!
Paige! Paige!
Both: Paige! Paige!
Paige, wake up!
You were having a hero dream,
weren't you?
Yeah.
You know it's not
gonna be like that, right?
Yeah.
Hawk is out there somewhere.
We need to find him.
You, search the gym.
You, search the cafeteria.
You... You're fired.
I know this is an awkward time to tell
you, but we both knew it was coming.
Principal Karen? You wanted to see us?
Yes. Our majestic friend,
Hawk the owl, has been stolen!
(gasp)
(gasp)
I need you girls
to keep an ear to the ground
in case you hear anything.
What's with the phones?
Well, I've set up an owl hotline center,
where anyone can call in
with tips on Hawk's whereabouts.
(phone rings)
Hawk hotline!
Yes, my refrigerator's running, why?
Oh, ha, ha, very funny.
Man, you are determined
to find out who took Hawk.
Duh. It is a federal crime
to take an owl.
Whoa! Federal crime!
Wow-wow-wow!
(phone rings)
Hawk hotline!
No, I don't care what kind
of bagel can fly!
- (phone rings)
- Hawk hotline!
A plain bagel?
(chuckles)
Okay, that's actually not bad.
Hawk is in danger. Only trained
individuals with a license
can possess an owl.
I am one of those individuals.
That's pretty cool, right?
Both: Uhhh...
(phone buzzes)
Ooh. Animal Control says Hawk
has a GPS tracker on him.
I just have to download
this app to find his location.
- We gotta go move Hawk.
- Totally.
We gotta run, PK.
Good luck on your search.
Check Bernie's locker!
He's destroying your studio.
Why hasn't he gone for the
shower chandelier yet?
Because he's good.
He's been one step ahead of us
from the get-go.
He's playin' chess,
we're playin' checkers.
I hid it in the lounge.
Another interesting theory.
He's in the lounge!
Oh, no, no, no. How are
we gonna get outta here?
Did someone say aloe vera?
Quick! Gimme a shoelace!
I haven't learned how to tie my...
I mean, uh, I prefer Velcro.
I got one!
Now stand back and witness the
power of nature's miracle goo!
If this doesn't work, I've got the key.
Always have a plan B, Bern Man.
Where are we going?
Aww... do you hear that, Hawk?
She said "we."
We just gotta keep movin' before
Principal Karen tracks us.
- (knocking on door)
- Girls? Are you in there?
It's Principal Karen! We need to talk!
(knocking on window)
Hello in there!
Helloooo!
It's not gonna end like this, Hawk!
It's probably gonna end like this, Hawk!
Okay, I'll take Hawk upstairs. Get
rid of her as fast as you can.
(knocking on window)
- Hellooo?
- Hi.
Principal Karen!
What are you doing here?
So, I'm waiting for the owl
tracking app to download,
and then I'm like, duh, the best way to
find Hawk is to post a missing owl video
up on our channel.
- Our channel?
- Bizaardvark's channel.
Oh, our channel.
Yeah, that's what I said.
Uh, w... well, you can't make
a video without Paige,
who is definitely not here,
- so...
- You're right, Paige is the funny one.
Excuse me?
In the meantime, I'll just
wait for this owl tracking app
to finish downloading.
What's your Wi-Fi password?
Is it "password"?
- No!
- "Password 1"?
Yeah.
Great. It downloaded! Victory selfie!
(click)
- (beeping)
- Oh! He's close!
As a licensed owl handler,
I know how to call him...
Hawk? Hawk, are you here?
Hawk!
Yeah, I got it!
Unhand that chandelier, you little brat!
No, give it to me!
- It's Amelia's, not yours!
- It's not yours, it's mine!
Give it...
I guess you don't love
your country anymore, huh?
You're not fooling anyone, kid,
give it a rest.
Don't listen to her, soldier.
Hand me that chandelier.
No, give us the chandelier.
It's a threat to our nation.
It's a fun shampoo holder.
Millions of lives are at stake!
It's a plastic thingy
with flowery body wash.
Come on!
Patrick!
He's a good kid!
Principal Karen:
Frankie! I got a signal!
It's close by!
Hawk! Hawk!
All right, Hawk. It's now or never.
(majestic music playing)
You're gonna make it out there!
I know you're not meant
to live in the wild,
but it's either this or the cage,
and you've gotta take that chance.
And I, uh, packed you some
kale in case you get hungry.
And don't let the other owls tell
you that veganism is pretentious.
It's a life choice, and they
can mind their own business.
Now go! Be free and live your best life!
Freedom beckons!
Ahhhhh, shoot.
- Hawk!
- (gasp) Oh, my gosh!
Where did it come from?
Paige! What did you do?
Principal Karen, uh, I can explain.
I know it was wrong to take Hawk,
but... this animal should not
have to live its entire life
locked in a prison.
He deserves to be free.
I agree. That's why we need to get
him back to the sanctuary right now.
Sanctuary?
I thought Hawk lived
in this cage at school.
Oh, no. The school only brings
Hawk out for pep rallies.
Then he goes right back to a
hundred-acre nature sanctuary
where he can roam free.
It's an incredible life.
In fact, this is the longest
Hawk's ever been in his cage.
He's probably miserable.
We... fed him a mouse.
But you two did commit a crime.
So your punishment is to
take an owl safety seminar.
Oh. That's not so bad.
It's six hours long, and I teach
it mostly through dance.
Frankie/Paige: Ahhhh.
You'll also have to pay a steep fine,
and serve community service.
Now, come on, Hawk.
Let's get you back
to your treetop mansion.
Where the only limit you have
is the sky.
Wow.
We should not have gotten involved.
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com