Billions (2016–…): Season 1, Episode 5 - The Good Life - full transcript

Axe orders his traders to unload their positions, and he unceremoniously disappears from Axe Capital, plunging the firm into chaos. As Axe questions his life choices and plans a trip on his...

Previously on "Billions"...

Metallica's playing one
North American gig this year.

Tonight. Québec.

Suspect trading pattern
on Pepsum Pharmaceuticals.

Peter Decker,
Quaker Ridge Financial.

At what exact moment
did Axelrod instruct you to buy

- Pepsum Pharmaceuticals?
- He never instructed me.

But you believe it was
insider trading?

If I had to guess,
it was probably "Dollar" Bill.

If I had to guess,
it was probably "Dollar" Bill.

I need to see your trades
for the past 90 days.

Unless you got a Wells notice
with my name on it,

you're not gonna see jack shit.

Get the FBI on him now.

I want this motherfucker's
genome mapped.

Constantine, my old friend.

- You showed.
- Of course.

I have been at Mundia-Tel
my entire career.

What people thought was
bedrock was really bullshit.

Now everyone is going to
finally see the truth.

Why aren't you prosecuting
the investment banks

and hedge funds
for insider trading?

Go ask the 81 convicted felons

of financial crimes
currently serving time.

Don't go all
Charles Foster Kane on me.

Don't go all
Charles Foster Kane on me.

- You know I've never seen it.
- You have to immediately,

projected on a big screen
on film.

The Statue of Liberty
attempted bombing case

needs to come off your plate.

- I'm sorry?
- Eastern needs that case.

I've been doing this
for two years around the clock.

So I came up here to
unplug and I, you know, can't.

How do you do it, man?

Hmm. I play, man.

- Sell everything.
- Everything?

Take it slow,
control the bleeding.

Then we'll dump sector by sector
starting with telecom.

Then we'll dump sector by sector
starting with telecom.

- People will think...
- That I'm out.

♪ Theme music ♪

- Hey, Tito.


- No blemishes.

Air cell
one-tenth of an inch.

Perfect color.
It's beautiful.

Perfect color.
It's beautiful.

Double yolker.
Give me the odds.

About one in a thousand.
But I got six in a row once.

That's quintillion to one.

Franchise that fucking hen.

- Thanks, Tito.
- Of course.

Hey, you wanna trade?



- Jesus, Wags.

When a guy says sell everything,

he gets a chance
to take it back.

Fair enough. Not gonna.

Fair enough. Not gonna.

You gotta say it.

I already said it.

Do it smart, do it so we
don't get hurt, but do it.

Once we're out of telecom,
we get out of tech.

Look, if the investors
hear about this,

they are gonna wonder
what the fuck is going on.

No, they're not, 'cause you're
gonna call 'em and tell 'em.

Tell 'em what?

Tell 'em that
we're shutting down.

Give them the heads up. They
can start looking elsewhere.

And next week?
If you change your mind?

Well, let's just
get through today. Bye.

Well, let's just
get through today. Bye.

Please tell me that
this fine specimen

is our line to Bobby Axelrod.

He is. We just need to
link him to Pepsum.

Then we'll flip him
against Axelrod.

Mm. How is his, uh,
personal life?

Dude, it's too perfect.

"Dollar" Bill Stearn...
Devoted family man.

- Sunday school teacher.
- Volunteer fireman.

Wow, I'm gettin'
all weepy-eyed.

- Guess we gotta let him go.

- It hasn't even been a week.
- A week we got nothing.

- We do have a theory.
- Finally! Thank you.

- It's not fully worked out yet.
- But what Dale is referring to

- It's not fully worked out yet.
- But what Dale is referring to

is, uh, Bill Stearn bribed

the Pepsum researcher
for proprietary information

on a drug called Vaccarizine.

It's an enzyme they've been
testing out in Iowa.

Genetically modifies corn
so that cows can actually digest

- without antibiotics and...
- It makes them shit better.

I'm sorry, but does
this, uh, farm report

wind up anywhere near
an arrest warrant?

Well, we think that
there is a nexus

between Stearn and the guys
who ran the test.

We have to just
place Stearn in Iowa

- at the right time...
- So no.

Don't tell him part of the story

until you know the whole story.

- Got it.
- All right.

Let's go through
these bank records.

- Mm. Um...
- Yeah, what's up?

You still
keep emergency deodorant

- in your office?
- Yeah, you need some?


Grandma's recipe.

Signature dish
at the Empire Diner.

I thought Grandma
was a waitress.

She knew her way around
a griddle, too.

Gotta use enough cinnamon.

- Am I out of a job?
- Don't worry, Ryan.

Breakfast is about
all I can handle.

Yeah, trust me.
We need you back.

Ryan, take the morning off.

- Be back for lunch?
- You got it.

- Be back for lunch?
- You got it.

- Thanks.

Family announcement.

New boat's coming early.

- The big one?
- Wow.

Delivery on Friday afternoon.

Great. Thinking Europe,
end of summer?

Mediterranean Milk Run? Nah.

Can we go to the Galápagos
to meet Lonesome George?

Lonesome George is dead.

Really? Oh, shit.

Hey. Language.


Galápagos. Nice.

Galápagos. Nice.

- How much sooner?

- How 'bout next week?

Yeah, we can.

If that's the thing
to do right now.

Well, you know,
I was just thinking,

boys will be out of school.
Perfect time in their lives.

Well, maybe it's not
the perfect time in my life.

Summer at the restaurant,
it's gonna be insane.

All right, I get that.

So we'll set something up
so you can stay in touch.

You can take trips home.


Did I miss us having
a conversation

about this somehow?

About this somehow?

We bought the boat together.
We designed it together.

Yeah, but we skipped
the part when we talk

about when and how
we're using it.

You hate this idea?

No, I don't, 'cause I see
how much you love it.

And I get why it would be
a once-in-a-lifetime for them.

- I'm just...

trying it on for a sec.

Good. Okay, do that.
Then let's go. It hit me.

Why work so hard if not to do
what we want, when we want?

Why work so hard if not to do
what we want, when we want?

♪ Pensive music ♪

I might've misheard earlier,

but, um, did you call
the US Attorney "dude"?

- Sorry?
- Back there.

I think you might've said
something like,

"Dude, it's perfect,"
to the US Attorney.

I don't think I said "dude."

I don't even remember
saying "it's perfect."

- Just repeating what I heard.
- I'm not doubting you.

I just mean, I don't think...

I mean... no.

Yeah, I'm being a friend here.

Wow, did I actually say "dude"?

Wow, did I actually say "dude"?

- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
- I did. I said it.

The vibe at the law firm I was
at before joining the Bureau

was serious but relaxed.

Okay, well, this is
serious but serious.

- Remove it from your vocabulary.
- I will. Stat.

No, I see.

Who... who keeps
a year's rent in the bank?

I've never missed a payment,
never been late at...

No, I don't.
I don't have a guarantor.

Then w-why show me
the apartment at all?

Just hold the place
one more day, please.

Just hold the place
one more day, please.

Thank you.

I could do it.

Be your guarantor.

Don't listen to my calls.

Don't leave your door open.

How is...

Look, thanks, but I wouldn't
take your parents' money

even if it wasn't
against the rules here.

You're not taking anything
if you don't default.

You gonna default?


You could think about it.

We could ask for
a waiver or something.

We could ask for
a waiver or something.

And, uh, it's my money.

They gave it to me
when I turned 25.


I was up till 4 a.m.
this morning.

I was watching videos
of BASE jumpers.

There was this guy...

He just sails from mountain
to mountain in Yosemite.

It's incredible.
He just...

He just takes flight.

Soars over the valleys.

He's weightless, utterly free.

I wanna feel what that's like
just once in my life,

like I'm saying
"fuck you" to gravity.

Didn't that guy die?

- Yeah.

Yeah, but, I mean, he wanted to.

I gotta go.

Come on.
Play hooky with me.

I can't. I'm handling lunch.

And I gotta make arrangements
for the restaurant.

I can't just disappear.

You sure you're
ready to do this?

I didn't mean to surprise you.

Yeah, you did,
or you wouldn't have.

You don't get carried away.

But I know you wanted it
to be a good surprise.

And it is, once I started
getting used to it.

But I do still
have to go set up for it.

Okay. Go.

- I'll amuse myself.

Just don't go jumping
off any cliffs.

Just don't go jumping
off any cliffs.

I won't.

Maybe I'll watch a movie.

Inglourious Basterds again?


I've never seen Citizen Kane,

projected, the way
you're supposed to.

Perfect. I'll make a call.

So what do we got
on the, uh, researcher?

So what do we got
on the, uh, researcher?

Clayton Grunwald.

Farmer, agricultural scientist
for Pepsum for 20 years.

One-income household, about 70K,
no travel records,

no trace of Stearn in Iowa,

but I don't buy a relationship
like this blooming via phone.

Maybe a conference somewhere?

- Neutral territory?
- Nothing.

Then Iowa.
Stearn covered his tracks.

Didn't fly, paid only cash.

Maybe we pay the farmer a visit.

What, with nothing? No, no.
We... we gotta come heavy.

Otherwise, the guy says
jack shit or he...

He just lawyers up.

All right.

All right.

What do cheap guys do?

Don't look at me.
I treat my queen very well.

They go dutch.
Every fuckin' time.

Just to be clear...
we're frozen?

We're not buying, for now.

Not Carthill.
Don't fuck me like that.

It's a Hondo Havlicek.
Can't miss.

It is bad timing, I know.
But keep on liquidating.

We were up north
of the timberline.

Why are we bailing?

We're not bailing.

We're not bailing.

We're pruning, slowly,
so we don't scare the market.

And keep this on the fucking DL.

We need to be deliberate
and delicate about this.

Bonsai artists.

Since when do we do delicate?

Since now.

Do we know how long?

As long as he wants, Carly.

I gotta say, I'm not
feeling this strategy.

Well, then it's a good thing

your feelings aren't
a fucking priority.

Thank you for your time.

- Dale.

- Dale.

I need you
to do something for me.

Yes, sir.

Somewhere between "sir"
and "dude," okay?


I need you to find a woman
named Martina Slovis.

- S-L-O-V-I-S.
- Martina Slovis.

She used to live in Cobble Hill.

- Dropped out of Brooklyn Law.

And this is only
for me. Got it?

You know I do.

- Hey.
- Hmm?

We got it.

We ran down everything
this guy ever signed

or signed up for,
and on April 25,

William Stearn's
Silver Elite card

was logged into
the Downtown Marriott

in Des Moines, Iowa.

Now he paid cash
for the hotel room,

but he couldn't turn down
the reward points.

Every man is
a junkie for something.

Find it, find him, and you did.

- Yeah.
- Excellent.

- Yeah.
- Excellent.

Here's our researcher.

Clayton Grunwald.

We're heading to Iowa
to jump him.

Aiming to have an affidavit
in your hands by Friday.

- Yeah.
- Hmm.


Hello, Chuck.

I'm sorry.
We had a sit-down scheduled.

- Can we talk?
- It's okay.

- You want him here?
- What have I got to hide?

Is it true you've launched

a full-scale investigation
of Axe Capital?

I'm not gonna answer that,
and you know it.

You have heard the rumors
that Axe Capital is shuttering?

The word is they're pulling
their positions.

Hey, Dimonda, my office
just charged 17 people

Hey, Dimonda, my office
just charged 17 people

in a massive heroin conspiracy
in Rockland County,

sent a corrupt mayor to prison,
and indicted a serial killer.

Incredible stories
I bet the American people

are dying to read about.

♪ Tense music ♪

What the fuck?

Hey, p-pulling positions?
You... you knew about this?

No. Get Sacker
to call her hedgie friends.

Find out if he's
really closing down.

You got it.

- Hey, babe.
- Uh, hey.

Um... which one of us has,
uh, softball duty tonight?

Mm, it's your turn, I thought.

Right, right. Sorry.

So much bullshit I'm dealing
with here, I lost track.

How 'bout you? How are things?

At work?

At work?

Yeah, wherever.

Everything's great.


I'm about to start a session.
I'll call you back, okay?

- Okay. Love ya.

- He's still not back.

This is not good.

Well... we've been here

No, we actually haven't.

He wants me to tell
our top investors

He wants me to tell
our top investors

we're winding down.


I don't know
what the fuck is going on,

but this isn't burnout.

This isn't, "I gotta go play
the Scottish courses"

or run away for a week
to basketball fantasy camp.

This is some kind of bullshit
midlife meltdown.

Whatever it is,
it's not bullshit.

For most of human history, we
all would've been dead by now.

We get to this age and we think,

"What the fuck am I
still doing here?"

It's disorienting.

See, that's what he needs...
Some of that black magic.

See, that's what he needs...
Some of that black magic.

- Go talk to him.
- No, it's only been a few days.

He's still processing it
himself. What do the PMs know?

That I need them to
close down the positions,

not stampede the fuck
out of the corral.

But they're
instinctive creatures,

and without knowing exactly why,
they feel antsy,

which leads them
to feeling restless,

which leads to motherfucking
anarchy if we don't rein it in.

What do I do
about the investors?

Have Axe talk to them...

Have Axe talk to them...

Make it real for him.

Fund is frozen, Axe AWOL.

And a couple of junior traders

just had a 3-hour lunch
at LeFarm.

Quick work.

Just a couple texts.
People are talking.

Yeah, because you know how
to get 'em talking.

Don't poor mouth yourself.

We should, uh, get
surveillance up on Axelrod.

- Uh-huh.
- I already told the FBI

- Uh-huh.
- I already told the FBI

to be standing by in
anticipation of your order.

I'll confirm.

What the hell is his strategy?

He knows we're not gonna give up
the hunt just because he closes.

Maybe he wants to quit
while he's ahead.

No one quits while
they're ahead.

This isn't France.
It's America.

We think noblesse oblige
is a new entrée at Olive Garden.

You know, there's a book
that could help you with that.

- Sarno? It didn't.

You have to actually
read it for it to help.

Mm-hmm. I'm not supposed
to just shove it up my ass?

Mm-hmm. I'm not supposed
to just shove it up my ass?

How solid is your Iowa linkage?


But he has to talk for it
to pay off. I'm on it.

I'm tagging along.


Lot of firepower for one farmer.

Research scientist.

- So...

Why do you have to go?

Excuse me?

I don't wanna be out of line,

I don't wanna be out of line,

but at some point,
you might want

to consider recusing yourself
from this case.

The conflict of interest is...
Eventually, it's...

it's gonna be an issue.


as long as you don't want
to be out of line.

♪ Tense music ♪

Make sure it's an aisle seat.

How many times you seen it?

This'll be my first.

Oh, my God.
You're in for such a treat.

"You know, Mr. Bernstein,

if I hadn't been very rich,

I might've been
a really great man."

Wags, man.
What are you doing here?

Apologies for
violating the restraining order

and entering Xanadu,

but I got a pile of documents
for you to sign.

- Barry, clear the booth.

Go swimming or something.

- Sure.

You either appoint
an independent custodian

to handle the final audit or...

You give those to
the accountants or the lawyers.

- You handle the investors.
- I will.

But you and I both know
there are certain ones

who deserve a sit-down
with you.

This is why you're here?

Alex Collins.

First person to put
$10 mil into the fund.

Jesus, when did you
become such a hoarder?

Jesus, when did you
become such a hoarder?

Frances Kingsley.
Buchanan University.

- I get the point.
- And finally...

Raul Gomez.

New York City Police
Pension Fund.


Gomez was a game-changer.

He was the first real player
who saw what we knew we had.

What a great day that was.

If there is a reason
for all of this...

A professional one...

You know I am the one guy
you can tell.

You know I am the one guy
you can tell.

It'll help me to backstop.
There was...

Hey. Thanks for coming.

- You're gonna make those calls.
- I heard you the first time.

This just won.

Okay, basketball.
You like basketball?


One for you.
Okay, here's 20 for you.

It runs out, we go home.

Okay? I'm gonna be over here
at Shoot Out the Star. Okay?

- Okay.
- All right.


Take a turn.

One play, please.
Keep the change.

FBI across the way.

We've got about 30 seconds.

Fuck. I thought there was
something about that guy.

I couldn't be sure,
but... it felt wrong.

I couldn't be sure,
but... it felt wrong.

They're getting desperate,
or they're getting closer.

I'm disappearing for a while.
Family trip.

Yeah? Good timing.

You trust the guys
between you and Decker?

- Sure.

Though it's hard to know
how a guy will react

once he's getting
his fingernails torn out.

- If anybody can vouch for that,

- I'm your guy.

We're all made
of the same thing...

Nerves, sinew,
the levers, the pulleys.

Nerves, sinew,
the levers, the pulleys.

Once someone's opened up,
the same thing always happens,


You freak me out sometimes.

That doesn't count.

- I know.

- Hey there, Mr. Nice.

Stop that.

He'll lick you
in about two seconds.

Mr. Nice, huh?
Love the name. What is he?

- Purebred mutt.
- Come here.

Come here, you.
Come here, you.

Ohh. Yes,
you're a pretty dog. Huh?

- Very, very pretty. Beautiful.

- Very, very pretty. Beautiful.

I don't know.

Looks like he's got
a little shepherd in him.

Chuck Rhoades.

US Attorney for the Southern
District of New York.

Clayton Grunwald.

You mind inviting us
up to the house?

- Uh...
- Special Agent Terri McCue, FBI.

- Aw, hell.
- Yeah.

Met Bill at a conference
a few years ago.

Liked him right away.

Liked him right away.

His father was a farmer,
so we had a lot in common.

He knows what it's like
to wake with the sun,

tend the animals,
live off what you raise.

His father was
a shoe salesman...

in Philadelphia.

♪ Tense music ♪

W-well, he talked like
a farmer, knew his stuff.

We became friends and, uh...

We became friends and, uh...

And he helped you out.

Yep, he did. He helped us out.

He showed real kindness
to our family.

We just closed out
Christina's college fund

to pay her medical bills.

He offered to take care
of the surgeries.

The best doctors,
private air ambulance.

Even found us
a CF support group.

We figured God had decided
to send us a miracle.

So you gave him the information.

Yeah. Yes.

Yeah. Yes.

It just kinda slipped out.

I was talking to a friend.

Didn't seem like
such a big deal.

I mean, I-I realized I had
a duty to the company,

but I figured, how much
difference could it make?

About $89 million worth,


I'm sorry. Should he have
a lawyer for this part?

Well, if you would like
a lawyer, Kelly, then, uh, yes.

Well, if you would like
a lawyer, Kelly, then, uh, yes.

- You can call one.
- Okay.

And then, uh,
we can arrest your husband

and finish this
as an interrogation.

I-I don't, uh...

See, right now,

this seems like sort of
a friendly conversation,

but it's not, really,

because we all know
that it could turn hard

in a different direction.

And, uh, there's days
that I would push it there.

But... I like it out here,

But... I like it out here,

and the two of you.

So give me what I need to arrest
who I really need to arrest,

and I will do everything I can

to make sure
that Clayton's around

for Christina's
high school graduation.

Sounds like a good deal to me.

So this states
that on October 27th,

So this states
that on October 27th,

you gave William Stearn
the confidential results

of the Pepsum GMO Vaccarizine
corn trial

a full 24 hours
before it was made public.

Yes, sir.

I need your signature up here.

I'll be in touch in a few weeks
about your arraignment.

Uh, contact a lawyer
before you come

or one will be appointed
for you.

Wait, you said that
if we cooperated,

that Clayton wouldn't
go to jail.

That Clayton wouldn't
go to jail.

I said that I would do
everything I could to help.

You will be entering into

a deferred prosecution

I-I would've called our lawyer
if you'd made that clear.

Christina needs
us. She needs both of us here.

You have no idea how hard
this has been on our family.

I can't do this all by myself.

You crushed 'em.
You destroyed 'em.

- Well, wanna grab a bite?
- Uh, no, thank you.

I got some stuff to take care of
and dinner with the governor.

- Right, because it's Iowa.
- Yeah.

- Right, because it's Iowa.
- Yeah.

Barry, hold it.

How's the wind-down going?

It's going.

I need to know
everything's dumped

before I get on that boat.

We'll be out of telecom
by tomorrow,

and we'll have already
started off-loading tech.

Then we'll go another 5%
across the board.

By the third day of not buying,

the Street is gonna think
you're crazy, I might add.

I can live with that. Let 'em
think what they wanna think.

- Yeah, I will.
- Okay, bye.

- Yeah, I will.
- Okay, bye.

More hot sauce.

Hey, Lonnie.

Oh, Dimonda. Hey.

I didn't know
this was your beat.

Yeah, I live right up
the street. Cobble Hill.

Oh. Thanks.

Fine dining, US Attorney style.

Yeah, not really a lot
of options out here.

I'll show you sometime.

Brooklyn is Paris now,
if you know where to look.

But this is a, uh,
strange land to you, right?

You're from the Upper West?

What a shitty commute.

To the Eastern District,
no less?

That's like getting traded
from the Pats to the Titans.

That's like getting traded
from the Pats to the Titans.

- Okay, we're done.

No, just starting. So you got
your big case yanked?

Friend at Davis Polk said
you interviewed there last week.

You unhappy working under Chuck?

I have nothing but the utmost
respect for the US Attorney.

I'm writing a piece
on the exodus

of assistant US attorneys
into the private sector.

Right now, you're my lede,
and I was wondering...

If you fuck me
by writing this story,

there's not an AUSA in the world
who'll take your call.

Look, I don't wanna print it.

I'm working on a better
Chuck Rhoades story,

one that doesn't involve you.

One that doesn't involve you.

I'm just having problems nailing
down a background source.

Maybe you'd be willing
to help me out?

What kind of story?

Let's take a seat.

- Come on, Bryan.

Come on. Come on.


That was brutal.

Yep, 'cause I'm awesome.

I should suck at bar sports

because I...
was always studying.

Because I...
was always studying.

Yeah, but apparently, you...
You don't suck at anything.

You haven't even seen
what I'm best at yet.

Ohh. Snapchat me.

Where's Terri?
Is she, uh...

up at your hotel room or...


- Fuck.

I am a little tipsy.

Me, too. Come on, is it...
Is it really that obvious?

- Mm.
- It's... it's casual.

I thought we were
doing a good job

of keeping things professional.

Of keeping things professional.

Oh, absolutely. You are.

But she also told me you
were really good in bed.

- Hey.
- Oh, hey.

- Hey.
- There's our girl.

- You wanna sit down?
- Nah.

No. Can I get...
I can get you a drink.


Thought I'd just... head up.


Yeah, I guess. Me, too.
Me, also.

- Okay.
- Yes. Good night.

- See ya.
- Later.

- See ya.
- Later.


Have a fantastic night,
you guys.

My jacket.
It's on the chair again.

♪ Tense music ♪

You're still here?

Wow. I guess neither of you
are cuddlers, huh?


knock it out and move on.

Not what I was picturing.

I mean, I wasn't picturing
any... I don't picture things.

I wasn't even thinking about it.

- Okay, can we not...
- Yep. Let's definitely not.

- Okay, can we not...
- Yep. Let's definitely not.

Excuse me, hi. Can I get
one more and then the check?

- Mm-hmm.
- Two, thanks.

You got it.


I was thinking about...

your offer to guarantee
my lease.


Couldn't happen
at the office. Regs.

It feels weird, anyway.
I'm keeping my old apartment.

Why weird?

I don't wanna
feel beholden to you.

I loan my friends money
all the time.

I loan my friends money
all the time.

And this isn't even a loan
that I'm offering.

It's a signature.
And I've forgotten it already.

Only people with money
forget about money.

- Thanks.
- Thank you.

No rush.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. I got it.

Thought you always went dutch.

Well, next time, you can pay.

Maybe at Lugers after you...
sign a 7-figure deal

Maybe at Lugers after you...
sign a 7-figure deal

to Sullivan, Cromwell.

What's that mean?

- You're brilliant.
- Uh...

Top of your class, Stanford Law.

You're gonna put in
your five years,

and then you're gonna
defect to the other side,

start defending
the same rich jerkoffs

you're locking up now.

Not a judgment.
Just a truth of our world.

Not my world.

I am an Aquarius
on a trust fund.

No, I am riding this job
all the way to higher office.

Okay, Senator Sacker.

Okay, Senator Sacker.

That's a first step.

To what? Governor?

Oh, Madam Secretary, huh?

Wait, POTUS?

Not confirming.
Not denying.

Nobody plans that at your age.

Nobody who gets there doesn't.

What, you think Clinton saved

that picture with Kennedy
by accident?



Okay, your administration.

Way down the road,
but modeling it on Roosevelt.


No. Teddy.

Um, solid economy policy,

You know,
I can forgive his flaws

because just like
every one of us,

he was a product of his time.

Plus, he wrote
one of my favorite books.

Mm. Rough Riders.

Mm, that one's fine.

I'm talking
The Naval War of 1812.

Also good.

Also good.

I should probably
head back to my room.

A 4 a.m. wake-up, yeah?

I gotta... gotta wait
for the check.

- Mm-hmm.

And then I'll... go.

Oh, uh, if your game
stays tight,

I'll keep you in mind
for Attorney General.

I'll keep you in mind
for Attorney General.

Good night.

- Good night.
- Mm-hmm.

Hi, baby.


I'm outside a club again.

I don't know
how I ended up here.

I'm listening.

I feel so out of control, Wendy.

You wanna go inside?

Oh, fuck, yes.

Me, too.

♪ Dramatic music ♪

Take me with you.


Hold on, okay?

You with me?

What do you see?

- There's a... woman.

Is she hot?


And the man is...

He's completely in her power.

Fucking worm.

Fucking worm.


Get on your hands and knees.

Oh, the floor is so...

On your fucking knees now.



It's a hard floor.


I'm gonna leave you there
for a while.

- Ohh. All these sharp heels.

- Ohh. All these sharp heels.


Are you touching yourself?

May I?


Not until I give you permission.


- Oh! Look at...
- Ohh!

Yeah, good shot.

Three fucking days
of this bullshit.

I'm gonna murder someone.

Yeah, well,
if this continues, fuck it.

You and I set up shop.

I got the contacts, the ideas,
the killer instinct.

You're not just a solid earner.
You know what else you are?

- Results-oriented.
- I'm sitting right here, dick.

- Ooh!

- Ooh!

All right.

I figured you'd want
to go off on your own.

Why didn't I save any money?

Fucking Hamptons rental, Europe,
shoes. A closet of shoes.

I have $250,000
in fucking shoes.

- Are we doing this?
- Oh!

Get in on the action!
I'm taking odds!

I got $200 says he can make it.

I got five says he doesn't.

How are the troops holding up?

Like we're on
a fucking Higgins boat

heading straight for
Omaha beach.

- Where is he?
- You know as much as I do.

Dealbreaker had a blind item
about him.

Says it's temporary insanity.

Who said anything
about temporary?

Who said anything
about temporary?

We all know he's not insane.
We gotta just...

enjoy the break.

This can be useful,

remind us why we love
what we do.

Uh, I love what I make...
or used to.

Money's a big part of it.

You remember the first year
you pulled down seven figures?

- Yeah, of course.
- What'd you do with it?

Spend it on yourself?
Buy something for your families?

I bought my mom
a washing machine.

- What the fuck?

She was doing laundry by hand.
It's hard on the joints.

Yeah, so you buy her
a house with a maid,

Yeah, so you buy her
a house with a maid,

not an appliance from Sears,
you cheap fuck.

What about you, Pouch?

I put it all into retirement.

Oh, you pussy.

And I staked a couple of
fighters, which was a mistake.

Yeah, well, I got
a quick 5K you can make

if you got the stomach for it.

Ah, behold, the Hand of the King

descends to walk among
the rabble.

Hey, Wags, two of my kids just
got hired at Morgan Capital.

Hmm. Funny you're complaining
to me,

considering they're your kids.

I'm ready.

- Aw, yeah!
- It's time!

Final bets in, everyone.

Final bets in, everyone.

Jonesy, Jonesy,
Jonesy, Jonesy, Jonesy...

And... go.

Jonesy, Jonesy, Jonesy,
Jonesy, Jonesy!

♪ Punk music ♪

A couple more days,

it'll be fucking
Lord of the Flies in here.

I think it's time for one of

your offsite
team building exercises.

Yo, bitches, saddle up.

Body sushi at
the strip joint, on me.


♪ Tense music ♪

- Hi.
- Hi.

I was hoping you'd come by.

- Come on in.
- Thanks.

- Come on in.
- Thanks.

So how's the restaurant?

Oh, you gotta come for dinner.

Lu will treat you
to a tasting menu.

And bring the family.

- Oh.
- Or, you know...

maybe just the kids.

This isn't fun...
for any of us.

You trust me on that, right?

Of course.

So where's the man?

Screening room.


Are we good to move
on Bill Stearn

by end of next week?

Already laying the groundwork.

- This is delicious.
- Yeah.

- Yonah's?
- Mm-hmm.

The poor guy.

His brother opens
a rival cart right next door.

- Hmm.
- Same knish, 50 cents cheaper.

You didn't.

No. My God, I'm loyal.

No. My God, I'm loyal.

- Yeah?

I have Agent Christo
on the line.


Mr. Rhoades, your wife's here.

What? Where?

Axelrod's house.
Entered about two minutes ago.


Axelrod's wife there, too?

Not anymore.

You like?

This is as far as I've gotten.

Barry, can you hit
the lights, please?

Thanks for coming.

Thanks for not making me go all
the way to Scotland this time.

That was your decision.

That was your decision.

You didn't leave me a choice.

There's always a choice.


Last time it took, what?

Five days, 72 holes a day,

then you broke 80 and could
finally see the market.

What's it gonna take this time?

This isn't that.

It's different.

♪ Tense music ♪

♪ tense music ♪

You have any idea what
they're doing in there, Dale?

I'm sorry, sir. I can't tell.

Can you get a closer look?

Um... no.

No, I can't, sir.
The risk will compromise us.

Yeah, okay. Thanks, Dale.
Thank you.

Uh... stand by.

Keep me posted
minute by minute, yeah?

- Okay.

I think it's time to get
a wire up on Axelrod.

Maybe some video, too.

Maybe some video, too.

You'll sign
the warrant applications?

Of course.

Yeah, why don't we, um,

order some drones
while we're at it?

Great idea.

Gonna be tough, boss.

Axelrod has
round-the-clock security.

Rumor is they do
random bug sweeps.

Since Dale's been on him,

we've never seen
the house empty once.

What's your point, Bryan?

I know this is a touchy subject,
but for your own sake,

this brings us back
to the subject of recusal.

I think you should reconsider.

- And I think that you

should stop fucking the help.

Still nothing.

No movement.
She's still in there.

So when are you leaving?

Next week.

New yacht's arriving
this afternoon.

Most beautiful boat
you have ever seen.

Designed every inch
of it ourselves.

Last year, we went to visit it
at the shipyard in Estonia.

Last year, we went to visit it
at the shipyard in Estonia.

We're gonna sail it down to
the Galápagos, Buenos Aires.

Who knows where else?

When I was at Metallica,
I just had this feeling...

It was so brief...
That there was

some other kind of life
I could be living.

In each of us,

there is another self
we do not know.

What's your other self?

Professional soccer player.

Professional soccer player.

Well, no. No, no, no.

You know what
my first dream was?

Famous Broadway dancer.

You got the legs for it.



if you wanna do this, go ahead.

But don't just slide into it.
Make a decision.

- I have.
- Then tell your people.

Don't make Wags do it.

Don't make Wags do it.

You owe them that respect.

Uh, little problem.

How little?

Well, uh, an FJ article is about
to drop by Michael Dimonda.

It's not flattering.

- All right, what does it say?

Well, um...

Oh, for Christ's sake,
rip the Band-Aid off. Come on.

It says that you're
investigating Axe Capital.

And how is that a problem?
Of course that was gonna leak.

And how is that a problem?
Of course that was gonna leak.

Well, it also says that
you're hesitating

on pulling the trigger
because of a family conflict.


Like preferential treatment,
because your wife works...

Yes, I got it. Thank you.

How is it sourced?

Someone inside the office,
senior official, highly placed.

How do you know
it's a senior official?

Because it quotes
a senior official

familiar with the matter.

Okay. I see.

Very good. Thank you.

Very good. Thank you.

You've reached Wendy Rhoades.
Please leave a message.

Can't say that
I'm happy right now,

but I do want to thank you
for meeting with me in person.

Of course.

Of course.

Taking on the Police Fund
as a client

was one of the proudest
moments of my life.

You know, Lara comes from
three generations of cops.

- Her grandpa walked a beat on...
- Bushwick.

Of course I know.

I deeply appreciate you taking
a flyer on us back then,

when no one else would.

You were a cocky prick
with terrible table manners,

but I knew there was something.

I didn't keep my money
at Axe Cap because I like you.

If you pull up stakes,

you're handing me
a $1.5 billion problem.

You're handing me
a $1.5 billion problem.

Time comes, I'll find you
another fund.

Like who? Rangewater?

Yeah, for example.
Solid returns. Smart guys.

Overleveraged, though.

- Then PKZ.
- No way.

They have no idea
how to manage risk. None.

No fucking clue how to short.

Bear market, you're paying 2%
to underperform Vanguard.

So you're starting
to see the problem.

Picking a fund's not that
different from picking a stock.

I'll find you a winner.

- Here you go, guys.

First Solar.

First Solar.

Late July 2007.

No. No, you're not
making me do this again.

As long as I'm an investor
in this company, I'll...

Okay. Okay.

2007, mid-July.

Broke out in good volume.
Went up to around 120.

We were out of the sector
till August.

We left millions on the table.
That was on me.

Google. Mid-June 2004.

That's a trick question.
Didn't go public till August.

That's a trick question.
Didn't go public till August.

IPO'd $19.6 mil shares
at 84.

Closed at $100.34.

It was a good day
for both of us.


August 2004.

Started mid-20s,
went to 40s.

Then the FDA dinged
its nerve stimulator,

and the stock tanked at 13.
We saw it coming.

Everyone else was trying to
catch a falling knife.

We made $7.4 mil that day.

How'd I do?

How the hell would I know?

I remember I gave you a quiz
like that the first time we met.

And it wasn't the fact
that you knew so much.

It was how you lit up.

These companies are
living organisms to you.

And I knew that if
I gave you my money,

that you wouldn't sleep

until you put it
in all the right places.

You would do whatever you had to

and wouldn't care
what it looked like.

That's who I needed
looking after my cops,

who I still need.

And in case
you can't tell anymore,

And in case
you can't tell anymore,

you still lit up.

Hey, sweetheart.

- Oh.

- I'm sorry. What did you say?

What's the noise?
Uh, are you at work?

No. I bailed. It was slow.

Well, that's a first.
Where are you?

About to do something crazy...

Sneaking into a show
at intermission.

Which one?

"On the Town."

I haven't second-acted
a musical since college.

Oh, I gotta go.
They're ringing the bell.

Okay, so you're not heading back
to, uh, to the office today?

- No.
- Good.

Okay. I'll talk to you soon.


Yeah, get the arrest warrant.

Yes, I also thought it was
a seven to ten-day horizon.

Now it's a now horizon.

♪ Uplifting music ♪

She's some tub.

How the hell do I
get me one of those?

You like the stock market?

You like the stock market?

Hey, I could if you're
offering me a job.


I'm sorry. I'm getting
out of the game.

Good for you, son.
Game's overrated.

Man, what I wouldn't
give to be your age,

plenty in the tank
and in my pocket,

the open water in front of me.

So... ready to board?

Hold on a second.

♪ Tense music ♪

♪ tense music ♪

- Excuse me.

All right.
Let's get going, guys.

How's my hair?


- Do you believe this shit?

The CEO of Mundia-Tel

and office presidents
in six countries

caught cooking the books.

Company's fucking bankrupt.

Stocks tanked 89% already.

They're talking about
suspending trading.

They're talking about
suspending trading.

Whole sector's swirling down
the cesspool.

The whole market
is going with it.

Good thing we were out.

Yeah. It sure fucking is.

- A-again?
- I thought I got it all out.

That body sushi.

Raw fish off a stripper.

Just remember, be polite.
Keep your weapons holstered.

Just remember, be polite.
Keep your weapons holstered.

Got it.
All right, guys, let's go.

You fucking genius.

Where is everybody?
They quit already?

Bathroom, mostly.

Body sushi at the strip joint.

You didn't partake?

I've built up a tolerance.

How did you know about

Fucking bellwether.

When it went babaloo,
it sucked the whole sector

When it went babaloo,
it sucked the whole sector

down the dumpers with it.

Of course, we were out
of telecom completely,

and you hid it under some rumor

of your midlife crisis
or whatever?

Couldn't afford to get caught
in a race for the exits.

As long as the rest of them
thought I'd lost it,

they wouldn't follow.

I was starting to
get nervous it was real.

Holy shit.

It was real?

For a minute there.

For a minute there.

More than a minute.

Felt like...
freedom, you know?

Like I could taste it.

The Galápagos?

I almost got on my boat today
and didn't get back off.

Why didn't you?

Because I fucking love
this place.

I love what I do.
I love what we do.

We gotta be ready
to push back in hard,

tomorrow or the next day,
after the market correction.

We lever up again...

♪ tense music ♪

Call Orrin Bach.
Call Lara.

FBI. Move away from
your computers.

- We have a warrant

from a federal court.

Please stay in your seats
and let us do our job.

Thank you for your cooperation.
You. Get up.

Yeah, you.

All right, lawyer. Lawyer!


Sir, we have a warrant
for your arrest.

- Lawyer.
- You can get a lawyer when

- you're in your holding cell.
- Lawyer.

William Stearn, you are under
arrest for insider trading...

- Lawyer. Lawyer.
- And securities fraud.

You have the right
to remain silent.

You might want to exercise
that right.

You might want to exercise
that right.

- Come on. Let's go.
- Let's go, smart guy.