Big Time Rush (2009–2013): Season 1, Episode 1 - Big Time Audition - full transcript
Kendall Knight, James Diamond, Carlos Garcia, and Logan Mitchell are four high school hockey fans from Minnesota. They are given an opportunity by record producer, Gustavo Rocque, to move to Hollywood as part of his latest boy band project known as Big Time Rush. Along the way, they stay at the no-so-luxurious Palm Woods Hotel in Hollywood and face an uptight hotel manager, grueling recording sessions, corporate bureaucracy, crazed fans, meet girls, cause chaos, and go on other adventures. Kendall's mother and sister Katie join the four boys and have hilarious romps of their own.
* ah ah, oh ohh *
opportunities like this come
Once in a lifetime, and when
They do, you gotta grab it and
Turn that thing big time.
Turn it, and I predict a 90%
Chance of bodily harm, and I'm
Talking about us, not them.
Wimp.
Huhh! It's stuck.
I had my pop star dream again Last night.
This time, I was
Wearing my lucky white v-neck,
And I sang a smokey robinson
Song.
* tracks of my tears, Ey, ey *
What are we doing?
A janitor left the t-bar In
the sprinkler valve, and do
You wanna help us soak the
girls Field hockey team?
Yeah.
I gotta get new friends.
And now we run.
Whoa!
Whoo! Whoo!
This is what it's gonna be
Like when I'm famous. Only,
The girls won't be trying To kill me.
Uhh.
Go, go, go, go!
Aah! Aah!
Whoa. Timeout!
Give james the helmet.
We gotta protect the face.
Right.
I love you guys.
Time in.
Where am I, and why Am I freezing?
You're in minnesota.
What's up, minnesota?!
I hate all of them.
Yes, I know.
And the state for freezing My latte.
Also, I need A bigger coat.
It's our last stop, so just
Focus and try not to make
Everybody cry.
Somewhere here is Your next big star.
I can feel it.
I'm the star! What I need is A
canvas with great hair that
I can paint my pomp on.
I need A singing block of wood that
I can set on fire, so please Tell
me, where in, uh... minnesota.
Where in minnesota is My fire?!
Ow.
Pussycat dolls make the pain Go away.
Yes. I love them.
I'm gonna marry her someday.
You're gonna marry
Nicole scherzinger? How?
No, no, no, no!
I'm gonna be famous,
Sing to sold-out arenas,
Have, like, 5 houses, *
make the girls go crazy *
And then marry nicole.
Are you done? Please be done.
No, 'cause here's the part
Where I shake the booty.
* I'm gonna be famous, Gonna marry nicole *
carlos.
Got it. Uhh!
Do you wanna be a pop star?
Yes.
Well, today's your chance
If you're in minnesota.
Are you ready?
I'm in minnesota.
I'm gonna be the next Gwen stefani!
That's jenny tinkler From homeroom.
Gustavo rocque, nineties
Mega-producer of bands like
Boyquake, boyz in the attic, and
Boyzcity is lookin' for his next
Pop superstar, but he's even
More famous for his quote in
"rolling stone," when he said...
I better than a dog.
Then it's pop star I sing better than a dog.
Sign-ups are until 5 pm,
So if pop star is on...
Your list of things to do...
call all moms now.
You still have time.
I'm sway... mom, call me when
You get this message. We need
A ride real bad.
Ring!
I got it. Hello. Yeah.
Uh-huh. Ok, great.
Get here As fast as you can.
Your mom's coming!
No, but this nice lady's Sending
her crew over to give us
A free estimate On aluminum siding.
Aah!
Kendall!
Logan has a learner's permit.
But I need an adult In the
car with me and a car.
Kendall, do something.
What are you lookin' at me For?
Logan's the genius.
What... I panic under pressure, And
then you always come up with
The answer.
What? That is so not true,
And... I know how to get there.
All you have to do is sit In the car.
Logan'll drive,
And we'll shovel your walkway
For free all winter long.
Come on. Faster.
Faster! Faster!
Do you have her purse?
Uh, purse.
Do you have her purse?
Uh, purse.
What about her cane?
It'll be fine.
We can't be late.
I don't wanna break her!
* and I'm So in love with you *
your singing makes me wanna Dance.
Off of a cliff! Next!
* thunder *
next!
* I love life More than
anyone, Doo doo doo *
get off the stage!
No! No... next!
That's actually the best
Singing we've heard all day.
Next!
* waah *
* ohh *
* aah *
* ohh *
* I do *
* ahh *
* have *
listen here, sister.
That's the worst singing
I've Ever heard in my life!
You know these people have Feelings, right?
Oh, neat. Guess what I have.
29 platinum records!
I don't Need feelings. What I need is
The guy the record company paid
Me a million dollars to find to
Make my fire. And if you and
I Do not find him or her,
We're fired! Keep walking!
Don't stop at the microphone!
Just keep walking! And good-bye.
Don't worry.
Sign-ups are Until 5:00, and it's
One minute till 5:00.
Baaaah!
Get out! Get out! Get out!
Come on!
Oh, my god! Hurry up!
Go! Go! Go! Come on!
My name is james diamond,
And I... I wanna be famous.
* whoa, oh... * ow!
Fill out the rest of this Sheet
and wait for your number
To be called.
Did you get in?
Yes! I told you.
This is madness! I'm a star!
I'm gonna be the next Gwen stefani!
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, jenny.
He's evil. I'm a star!
A star!
You, name.
Me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm gonna be a doctor.
Yeah, well, I'm a desperate
Talent scout, and you have
A cute smile, and justin
Timberlake made $44 million
Dollars last year.
Hit me.
I wanna be famous, too.
* whoa, oh * yes.
You, tall, blond, And
eyebrows, you want your
Dreams to come true today?
Sorry. My dream is to play
Center for the minnesota wild,
But I'll also consider The maple leafs.
Ah. 810 is next.
Oh, look. You're next.
Dude, you don't sing.
Carlos, that was the worst Pep
talk in history. Luckily I'm
A genius. I'll think Of something.
Kendall.
Beat box.
Got it.
* wakka-chicka, wakka-chicka,
Wakka-chicka * stop!
Stop it forever.
Uh, I just started.
And now you're finished, But
I'm not, because I wanna
Tell you what else you are!
Get back here! I have bad words,
And I wanna use them on you!
I wanna make fun of you...
don't go in there.
He... he... he's satan.
He's satan With bug-eyed sunglasses.
811. 811's up.
All you, buddy. Go get 'em.
Yeah.
Yeah.
* hoo,
Hoo,
Hoo *
hu-ehh!
No!
Not goin' to hollywood.
812. 812's up.
James this is your dream, Not mine.
Remember,
Opportunities like this come
Once in a lifetime. Now grab on
To that dream with both
hands And go big time.
Well, he's not hideous.
* people say I'm the life
Of the party because
I tell a joke or two *
not bad.
* although I might be
Laughin' loud and hearty,
Deep inside, I know... *
stop. Stop.
I'm sorry.
I got a l... A little nervous there.
Can I start over?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Start over. Why don't you, uh,
Go outside and then just don't
Come back in. Ok? Next!
But I'm good.
I don't need good. I need The fire, ok?
I need someone to
Knock me out of my seat, and as
You can tell, I'm still in it,
Because you have no talent!
No talent?! No talent?!
You're the one with no talent.
You haven't had a hit In 10 years.
Hey, "girl to my heart" by
Boyquake was a hit 9 years ago.
Oh, "girl to my heart.
" let Me see if I can remember that
Rock classic.
* girl, my eyes, And, girl, my mind,
It never stops after it
starts, 'cause you're a girl,
A girl, a girl to my Heart, heart, heart *
whoa! Whoa! Security!
Hey, here's a new hit for You.
* oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd *
Hey, get off me. Come on.
Get off me.
Quick. What's the worst that
Could happen if I try and break
Him free?
Uh, j-juvenile, one prior For mooning.
20 hours
Community service.
I can live with that.
Oh.
Aah! Yeah, how do you
Like that, fluffy?!
Aah!
I gotta get new friends.
Get off of me!
Mom, remember that time I
saved you from choking? Wow,
That was close. And I love you.
I feel so alive.
Dude, how did you know Those songs?
They play boyquake on the
Nineties channel all day
At work, and I made up The giant turd song.
That was catchy.
What happened? The truth.
Now.
Mrs. Majkowski helped us
try To make james famous.
But this producer guy was
Super mean to everyone.
So I sang him the giant turd
Song, and there was a tiny
Fight, but nobody got hurt.
And now I'm really sad.
Ok. Who want's a sandwich?
Ooh, yes.
That'd be great.
Wait. That's it? That's your Interrogation?
You didn't put
The screws to 'em or slap
'em With the hard cheese.
I don't know what you're
Talking about, but you are not
Allowed to watch fox anymore.
Well, can I least Hear the giant turd song?
* oh, you're such a turd *
* oh, yeah, a giant turd *
* and you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd *
And you smell like a turd *
And you smell like a turd *
* oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd... *
Aah!
Yes!
I knew you'd come back For me.
I'm not here for you.
I'm here for him.
I'm here for him.
What?
I'll make some tea.
Mrs. Knight, I wanna take
Your family to los angeles
And produce some demo tracks With kendall.
You can't be serious.
It'll take 3 months.
We'll take care of all Of your expenses.
Kendall, you have a gift.
You have the fire.
You also have Anger management issues.
Some people say I have anger
Management issues, but I also
Have 5 houses!
* people say I'm the life
Of the party, becau... *
stop it.
Ok.
Please.
Don't ever Do that again.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Kendall, we've traveled to 22 cities.
We've auditioned over
20,000 people, and gustavo's Picked you.
But I'm not a singer.
You sing all the time... in the
Car, at the table. You sing to
Me when I can't sleep at night.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do, honey.
When you shovel the driveway.
When you answered the door 2 minutes ago.
But that's not singing.
Yes, it is, honey.
And he's always singing along
To the nineties channel.
Katie!
So, what do you say, kiddo, Huh?
You wanna go out to l.A.
And be molded and shaped
Into a big old star by
The gustavo rocque? Ha ha.
No.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I'm gonna need to take A minute.
I'm gonna need to take
A minute right now.
It's for the teacup.
I'm gonna destroy this state!
And the planter Outside.
This state owes me a latte!
Here's my card.
If you change Your mind, call.
You shouldout.
Idiot.
Night on this whole singing
Thing, and katie was right.
You're an idiot.
It's breaking right.
Guys, I don't wanna go To l.
A. With that jerk. I wanna
Be here with you jerks and
play Hockey for our team.
But this is just like hockey.
Only, instead of crashing The boards andus
You're singing and dancing.
What have you got to lose?
Dude, california... the girls, The
beach, the stars. The girls.
Yeah, but none of that Matters
if it's minus my best
Friends.
Add those numbers up, Professor.
Ok, carry the 2. Ah, nope.
Still an idiot.
What about you?
You haven't Said anything to me all day.
I'm not talkin' to you.
You just did.
You know what? All right, Dude,
part of me hates you right
Now. No, all of me hates you.
But call that guy back.
That guy said you have
No talent, made you cry,
And broke my mom's teacup.
But he wants to make You famous.
Uhh!
Sorry.
Ok, if I make a hole in one, You
have to call that guy back.
Wha-hoo! Whaah!
Ooh.
Ooh. You should still
ooh.
Ooh.
You should still Call him.
He's been on the cover
Of "rolling stone."
what other odd things do
you Carry in your pockets?
My lucky comb and 8x10
Personalized head shots...
One boy next door, one bad boy.
We just want what's best For you, man.
I'm logan.
Oh. You.
Oh. You.
He got hit by a car for you.
Yeah, opportunities like this
Come once in a lifetime.
Now let me get this straight.
You're saying if you all had
A chance to go to l.A. With
A giant turd producer to
record Demos, you'd go.
Yes.
Sorry. Kelly wainwright,
Rocque records.
Don't think about him.
Think millions of dollars.
Think millions of girls.
Think of me as the backup Singer
who could spin off in his
Own solo career, you know,
After your second album.
Well?
Ok, I'll go to l.A.
With you And record some demos if...
You take my buds and
make us A singing group.
Dude!
Cold up my nose.
Cold up my nose.
Well, you guys said You would go.
I-I'm sorry.
Are you trying To make a deal with me?
I make the deals.
If you want me, you have to Take all of us.
Have you even heard your friends Sing?
Oh, that's right.
They can't.
Well, I'm no mega-producer
Like you, but I know they sing
Better than dogs, and you can
Turn them into stars. Right?
Is this supposed to sway me?
I'm gustavo rocque. I'm amazing.
I'm amazing. And if you think
For one second that I'm so
Desperate because of 2 or 22
Cities that I haven't been able
To find anybody, you can think
Again, because there is no way,
No way gustavo rocque is takin'
The 4 dogs from minnesota to Los
angeles to make them stars.
It's never gonna happen. Never!
So, we have a deal.
Yep.
* do you want to
Ride in a big limousine?
Tell me do you want to Take a
little bite Of the fame machine? *
* you wanna be famous *
* famous *
* you wanna be the one
Who's takin' a free ride *
welcome to the palm woods,
Home of the future famous.
That's the first palm
tree I've ever touched.
Every year, kids and parents
From all over the world come
Here looking for fame in
tv, Movies, and music.
Oh, hey. There's that funny Kid
from the juice box Commercials.
I just want my Childhood back!
Tyler, let's go.
Ok.
You guys are gonna love it here.
The rooms are clean, You're
close to the studio,
And there is an amazing pool.
I love pools.
* doo doo, doo doo, Doo doo, doo doo *
we're so not in minnesota Anymore.
Uh, minnie who now?
What can I say?
You guys were right.
How dare you?! What we had Was real!
But you threw it all
Away for trish! Trish, my sworn Enemy!
I never wanna see you
Again, troy! Never!
What just happened?
You new guys just met
Camille, the palm woods
Method actress queen.
The name's tyler. You may have
Seen me acting on various juice
Box commercials. Only, I don't
Wanna be an actor. I wanna be
A kid.
Tyler!
Oh! Hide me.
Have you seen my son?
Have you seen my son?
Red hair, adorable, born to be A star?
We've got an audition!
He went that way.
She's gone.
She's gone.
Thanks.
So is everyone here an actor?
No. That's guitar dude.
He's a "songwriter."
what's up?
* what's up? What's up?
What's up? * Yeah.
Oh, that's lightning, oh, that's
lightning, The tv wonder dog.
He's good.
Oh, and then there's the Jennifers.
3 girls all have
The same name, who sing, dance, And act.
Hey!
We're in a band.
We're in a band.
Really?
Oh, my gosh.
And we're actresses Who don't care.
Wanna go to the movies Tonight?
Are you guys starring In the movie?
No.
Then no.
If that seems harsh, It's
because it is, and so is
This town, so...
Later.
I'm so in love.
I'm so in love.
Ok, reality check.
We have to Promise ourselves now that we're
Not gonna let this singing thing
Or this town change us. We are 4
Hockey players from minnesota,
And we can never forget that.
Do we all agree?
Yes.
Once you've sipped from a real
Coconut, there's no goin' back.
So true.
Ok, we do realize there are
3 of them and 4 of us.
And they blew us off.
No, they said, "later."
and it's later.
Ok, mom's all checked in,
Your sister complained again
That she has no friends, so your
Mom let her watch "shark cage"
On fox, and now it's time To start
gustavo's boy-band Boot camp.
Kelly, we're a little Busy here.
So am I. And they won't go
For you until you're famous,
So let's roll.
Ho ho ho. Kelly, kelly,
Clearly you don't understand
The power of the...
Whew.
Ladies...
I don't think we Properly introduced...
Ourselves.
Ok, let's go to boot camp.
* ah ah, oh ohh *
ahem.
Ahem.
Hey, griffin.
Hey, I have Been meaning to call you.
Yes, and I've been meaning
To teach my pet liger sign
Language, but I didn't either.
I also did not approve of one
Million dollars to find a boy
Band. The boy band is dead.
Show him the research.
I have a plan. It's a 3-month Plan.
It's gonna blow you away.
Change of plan.
The rcmcbt Globalnet sanyoid board of
Directors meeting is in 4 days,
And I need to throw them some
Red meat, which means you have
Exactly 3 days to serve me
A tasty dish.
3 days?
You're giving me 3 days.
Yes, and I want a look, a Name,
and a song that will make
11- to 15-year-olds steal their
Parents' credit cards so they
Can buy it. This band has to
Have it all, gustavo, because as
You know, I want it all. Mmm.
Warm pants. There's nothing
like The feeling of warm pants.
Get gustavo some warm pants.
Friday, 10 a.M., and they better
Be good, or you're finished.
No!
Welcome to rocque records, Where
you are gonna sing, dance,
And sweat your butts off if you
Wanna end up on these walls.
Do we want to end up On these walls?
Yes.
Guys, say hi to Nicole scherzinger
from The pussycat dolls.
Whahh.
Hey, guys. What's up?
He's gonna marry you.
Where's my ring?
I... I... I... we're recording
some demos With gustavo.
Gustavo.
Yeah.
Have you worked With him?
Yes, actually on my first Album.
Let's just say we had
Some creative differences.
Nicole, baby! Ohh!
Good luck, guys.
Sh-sh-sh-she... nicole.
All clear.
Ok, so you guys Ready to be stars?
Yeah.
Good. Then prove to me you Can be stars.
We have 3 days
To prove to this record company
That there's something,
Anything here.
Uh, 3 days?
What happened To 3 months?
Uh, the ceo of all of our Butts
wants to see you guys On Friday.
We have to be a band In 3 days?
No, you have to be a great Band
in 3 days, unless you don't
Think that you can do it, Mr.
Make us a pop group.
Oh, we can do it. No problem.
Bring it.
Oh, I will bring it.
I'll bring everything I got.
This is a little too close For me.
Yeah, me, too.
To be a great pop group, you
Need 4 things... great dancing,
A great look, a great song,
And great singing.
* ooh, yeah, Take me to the top *
and by the end of today, me And
my team will transform the 4
Dogs from minnesota into gustavo
Rocque's new pop explosion.
* baby, yeah *
we're the marketing team.
We don't really have a move.
Well, we could try something.
Maybe.
Stop it. Stop it now.
Thank you. First up in
boot Camp, great dancing.
Mr. X has choreographed for
Boyquake, boyz in the attic,
Madonna, beyonce, And
"yo gabba gabba."
and now I will make you
X-plode with the dance.
We will start with An x-amination.
Cross leg, Spin, pose.
Whoa!
Ohh.
I'm good.
He is great, but not serious.
He is serious, but not great.
He lost a pet when he was
young, And he is still sad.
Sparky.
And he is just plain awful.
Yep. Heh.
They are x-cruciating and
Cannot be ready by Friday.
I'll x-double your salary.
X-done.
All right, I'm gonna be back
In one hour, and I wanna see
Dancers, not dogs.
Starting positions.
Again.
* 5, 6, 7, 8 *
* 5, 6, 7, 8 *
raah!
Ok. So it's been an hour, And...
What happened to mr. X?
What happened to mr. X?
Well, first he banged his Head
into the wall a few times.
Then we got really dizzy.
Then he said a bunch of bad
Words that started with "x."
then he x-quit.
Ah...
Whaah!
Look, sweetie, I know this
Move is a big shock, but there
Are lots of kids at the palm
Woods, and you should play with
Them and not chairs.
I'm fine, mom.
We need to support your
Brother and the guys, and...
What are you doing?
10 bucks.
10 bucks.
Sweetheart, the pool is free.
Sweetheart, the pool is free.
Not the vip room.
It's amazing what chumps in this
Town'll pay to sit behind some
Stupid velvet ropes.
I'm looking for my son.
He's short, cute red hair...
I saw a kid just like that
Running that way.
Aah!
Thanks, katie.
Don't mention it.
10 bucks.
So you're good then.
I am loving this town, So the
guys better not blow it.
Part 2 of my great pop-group
Boot camp, the great look.
When do we sing?
When I tell you to sing!
Guys, we have some exciting
Looks that will literally
Transform you.
Can't we just be ourselves?
No.
Boys, we researched and
Electroshocked focus groups
To determine the exact look and
Name that will sell millions
Of records.
Then we turn you over To the stylists...
To change all your clothes and
Possibly shave your heads.
Now, griffin wants a tasty Dish on Friday.
That's why we're
Giving him...
whoa!
Ow!
No, not hair. Not hair.
Boy-liscious.
The beach, girls, The shirtless overalls.
I think we look good.
Not bad, uh, but I need
Options. What else you got?
Change it.
Red, white & boy.
This look does great with War
veterans who own buicks.
We look good.
We look like uncle sam Threw up on us.
You, silent.
You, more options.
Change them.
I give you...
danger boy.
Danger boy is danger.
Parents will forbid their kids
To buy the dangerous music.
And that's exactly why They will.
Boo-yah.
I, uh, can't feel my legs.
That's because the pants
are Dangerously tight.
I hate it.
So do we.
I need 5 new looks for Tomorrow.
All right, now follow
Me to hear your first hit single
That's gonna put me back on top.
Move out.
All right, come on.
Ohh. Ohh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, goin' down.
I think we look good.
* ah ah, oh ohh *
ok, part 3 of the great
Pop-group boot campapalooza,
The great song.
It's called "girl time."
it's a song about no matter
it's a song about no matter
What time of day it is, * don't
you know It's girl time? *
I just woke up.
What time is it? It's girl time.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you know what Time it is? Yeah.
It's girl time.
What if you have a sinus Infection?
Isn't that Doctor time?
No.
No, no, it's still Girl time.
Mm, right.
Do any of your songs not have
The word "girl" in them?
Heh. Well, le-let's find out, Mr.
Question everything I do.
Let's take a look at my wall Of
platinum records! Let's see.
There's, uh, "girl like you,"
"girl, you are my girl," "hot
Girl," "cold girl," "girl to my
Heart," "yard squirrel
Christmas... " I forgot that one
Was there. Uh, "girl zone,"
"girl l zone remix," "girl cake"
And "girl, girl, girl,"
Which sold 3 million copies and
Was number one for 5 weeks!
Any other questions, dog?
Are any of those songs
From this girl-ennium?
And finally, a small downtown
Earthquake today has
Seismologists baffled.
Just a Modest 3.1 on the richter scale,
But it's still a mystery, Because
the epicenter was not on
Any previously known fault line.
Ok, your heart rate is back
To normal, and your blood
Pressure is 120 over 80.
You can produce now.
Ah! But remember, these boys
Haven't had a break all day.
I think they're gettin'
A little punchy.
I don't care. Ok, and now
It's time for the final phase
Of gustavo rocque's most
Awesomest pop-group boot camp,
The singing!
What is this place?
It's a sound booth, guys.
It just isolates the vocals
In case we need to edit or
Enhance them later.
Why are there pillows On the floor?
Do you want us to nap?
'cause we will.
They just absorb any extra Echo
or treble, just like those
Big foam mike covers.
And I put some fruit water
In there in case your mouths
Get dry, ok?
Ok, great. And...
Funny. Do it again.
Heh. Not so tough without
Your helmet, are you?
Huaah!
Oh! Knock it off.
Ohh!
You just ruined my lucky White v-neck.
Aah!
Maybe the fruit water Was a bad idea.
Please get them to stop.
Guys. Guys.
Pillows were a bad idea, too.
I told you they were tired.
Just have the boys Meet me in the
studio When they're finished.
You can't sing.
You can't sing or dance.
I can back-flip.
Stop it.
Ok.
Forever.
Mm-hmm.
And worst of all, you don't
Even seem to want this.
What about me?
I can sing, Dance, and I want this.
You remind me a lot Of matthew mcconaughey.
Awesome.
I can't stand matthew Mcconaughey.
This group
Can't sing, can't dance.
You don't have a song or a look,
And they're covered in feathers!
And I would rather quit right
Now than commit pop suicide
On Friday in front of the record Company.
However, there is one
Song I would love to play For you.
* ooh, now that I'm
through Bangin' my head,
This band of dogs
Is officially dead *
he's a really good Piano player.
And I'm so depressed.
It's the music.
Guitar dude, please.
Oh. Sorry.
So has gustavo dork made
You guys famous yet?
We had some creative Differences.
You got fired, didn't you?
All he did was yell and
Scream at us and make us wear
Dangerously tight pants.
Yeah, you're right.
He wanted To turn us into rich and famous
Pop stars. What an idiot!
He wanted to turn us into
his Trained dancing dogs.
Rich and famous dancing dogs.
He's got a point.
Oh. So you're siding
With james now?
No. I... maybe. Kinda. Yes.
You guys blew it. You blew My shot.
You could have tried
Harder, but you didn't.
Ok. Let's all just calm down
And think nice, happy thoughts
About kittens.
You think about kittens with
Your bad singing and that
Stupid helmet.
Whoa. Guys. Guys.
Remember our pact about not
Letting this town tear us apart.
Whaah!
Great. Now we're all Fighting.
I didn't even wanna Do this.
Everybody with no problem
Wants to do this, kendall!
I know, but it's all Happening so fast!
Whaah!
Katie, what'd you Do that for?
Looked like you guys Needed to cool off.
She's right.
I'm sorry.
I could stay here and be a Model.
I'm still great-looking.
Or the star of a reality show.
Which one? "Project idiot"?
That's just Your jealousy talking.
You know what's funny?
We didn't even get a
chance To sing together.
Heh.
* oh, you're such a turd *
* oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd *
* oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd,
Oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd, And you *
* smell like a turd *
we should do this. You guys Were right.
I really think we
Should do this.
How? We got fired, remember?
We didn't get fired.
I mean, We got fired, but the problem is
We didn't try our best.
I tried my best.
We know, james. We know.
Guitar dude, I need some music,
Something inspirational.
We are hockey players, brothers
We are hockey players, brothers
Of the ice, and we do not quit.
Now, are we gonna dump the puck
And scramble back to the bench,
Or are we gonna grab that puck,
Pull the goalie, and rush
The net big time?
You really think we can
Make it as a boy band?
No, but I've realized 3
things since we got here.
1... I love singing.
2... I love Singing with you guys,
And opportunities like this
Come once in a lifetime.
What's the third thing?
It's minus-8 in minnesota Right
now, and I'm in love with
This pool. So what's the play?
Dump the puck or big time rush?
Big time rush.
Big time rush.
Big time rush.
Big time rush.
Well?
Ok, we'll do it your way.
No Goofing off, no pillow fights,
And no questions for the next 2 days.
Ok. "Girl time" from the top.
Except for that.
We really Don't wanna sing "girl time."
oh, let me guess.
You have A better idea. Well, let's...
Let's hear it.
Let's hear The dogs' better song title.
"big time rush."
it's a song about 4 hockey
Players from minnesota who have
An amazing opportunity in front
Of 'em, and they're gonna
take Their best shot.
I like it, and you've got To
stop using the word "girl"
In all of your song titles.
I... Like it also.
We're gonna Be workin' all night,
Because Friday is 2 days away,
And we are in a big time rush.
Yes.
Ok, "big time rush" from the Top.
Only, this time, let's try
Not to make me wanna choke you.
* ah ah, oh ohh *
* make it count, Play it
straight, Don't look back,
Don't hesitate *
* when you go *
* big time *
* what you want, What you feel,
Never quit and make it real *
* when you roll *
* big time *
* oh, ooh whoa *
* hey, hey *
* listen to your heart now *
* hey, hey *
* don't you feel the rush? *
* hey, hey *
* better take your shot now *
* ohh, ohh, Ohh, ohh *
* go and shake it up, What you gotta lose?
Go and make your luck
With the life you choose,
If you want it all, Lay it on the line,
It's the only life you got, So
you gotta live it big time,
Ah ah, oh ohh, Ah ah, oh ohh *
* step it up, get in gear, Go
for broke, make it clear *
* gotta go *
* big time *
* oh, yeah *
* make it work, get it right,
Change the world overnight *
* gotta dream *
* big time *
* oh, oh *
* hey, hey *
* give it all you got now *
* hey, hey *
* isn't it a rush? *
* hey, hey *
* finish what you start now *
* ohh, ohh, Ohh, ohh *
* whoa *
* go and shake it up, What you gotta lose?
Go and make your luck With
the life you choose *
* life you choose *
* if you want it all, Lay it on the line,
It's the only life you got, So
you gotta live it big time *
I like 'em, and the board's Gonna love 'em.
What do you think?
You got 3 months to make your Demos.
I told you the boy band
Was back. I have to go.
My pants are cold.
Guess who's stayin' in l.A.
Whahh!
Yes!
Yes!
Ha ha ha!
Stop cheering. If you thought
The last 3 days were hard, wait
Till you see the next 3 months.
Carlos still can't sing,
Logan still can't dance,
And I still can't stand james.
We'll work on it.
Ok, now you can celebrate.
Yeah!
opportunities like this come
Once in a lifetime, and when
They do, you gotta grab it and
Turn that thing big time.
Turn it, and I predict a 90%
Chance of bodily harm, and I'm
Talking about us, not them.
Wimp.
Huhh! It's stuck.
I had my pop star dream again Last night.
This time, I was
Wearing my lucky white v-neck,
And I sang a smokey robinson
Song.
* tracks of my tears, Ey, ey *
What are we doing?
A janitor left the t-bar In
the sprinkler valve, and do
You wanna help us soak the
girls Field hockey team?
Yeah.
I gotta get new friends.
And now we run.
Whoa!
Whoo! Whoo!
This is what it's gonna be
Like when I'm famous. Only,
The girls won't be trying To kill me.
Uhh.
Go, go, go, go!
Aah! Aah!
Whoa. Timeout!
Give james the helmet.
We gotta protect the face.
Right.
I love you guys.
Time in.
Where am I, and why Am I freezing?
You're in minnesota.
What's up, minnesota?!
I hate all of them.
Yes, I know.
And the state for freezing My latte.
Also, I need A bigger coat.
It's our last stop, so just
Focus and try not to make
Everybody cry.
Somewhere here is Your next big star.
I can feel it.
I'm the star! What I need is A
canvas with great hair that
I can paint my pomp on.
I need A singing block of wood that
I can set on fire, so please Tell
me, where in, uh... minnesota.
Where in minnesota is My fire?!
Ow.
Pussycat dolls make the pain Go away.
Yes. I love them.
I'm gonna marry her someday.
You're gonna marry
Nicole scherzinger? How?
No, no, no, no!
I'm gonna be famous,
Sing to sold-out arenas,
Have, like, 5 houses, *
make the girls go crazy *
And then marry nicole.
Are you done? Please be done.
No, 'cause here's the part
Where I shake the booty.
* I'm gonna be famous, Gonna marry nicole *
carlos.
Got it. Uhh!
Do you wanna be a pop star?
Yes.
Well, today's your chance
If you're in minnesota.
Are you ready?
I'm in minnesota.
I'm gonna be the next Gwen stefani!
That's jenny tinkler From homeroom.
Gustavo rocque, nineties
Mega-producer of bands like
Boyquake, boyz in the attic, and
Boyzcity is lookin' for his next
Pop superstar, but he's even
More famous for his quote in
"rolling stone," when he said...
I better than a dog.
Then it's pop star I sing better than a dog.
Sign-ups are until 5 pm,
So if pop star is on...
Your list of things to do...
call all moms now.
You still have time.
I'm sway... mom, call me when
You get this message. We need
A ride real bad.
Ring!
I got it. Hello. Yeah.
Uh-huh. Ok, great.
Get here As fast as you can.
Your mom's coming!
No, but this nice lady's Sending
her crew over to give us
A free estimate On aluminum siding.
Aah!
Kendall!
Logan has a learner's permit.
But I need an adult In the
car with me and a car.
Kendall, do something.
What are you lookin' at me For?
Logan's the genius.
What... I panic under pressure, And
then you always come up with
The answer.
What? That is so not true,
And... I know how to get there.
All you have to do is sit In the car.
Logan'll drive,
And we'll shovel your walkway
For free all winter long.
Come on. Faster.
Faster! Faster!
Do you have her purse?
Uh, purse.
Do you have her purse?
Uh, purse.
What about her cane?
It'll be fine.
We can't be late.
I don't wanna break her!
* and I'm So in love with you *
your singing makes me wanna Dance.
Off of a cliff! Next!
* thunder *
next!
* I love life More than
anyone, Doo doo doo *
get off the stage!
No! No... next!
That's actually the best
Singing we've heard all day.
Next!
* waah *
* ohh *
* aah *
* ohh *
* I do *
* ahh *
* have *
listen here, sister.
That's the worst singing
I've Ever heard in my life!
You know these people have Feelings, right?
Oh, neat. Guess what I have.
29 platinum records!
I don't Need feelings. What I need is
The guy the record company paid
Me a million dollars to find to
Make my fire. And if you and
I Do not find him or her,
We're fired! Keep walking!
Don't stop at the microphone!
Just keep walking! And good-bye.
Don't worry.
Sign-ups are Until 5:00, and it's
One minute till 5:00.
Baaaah!
Get out! Get out! Get out!
Come on!
Oh, my god! Hurry up!
Go! Go! Go! Come on!
My name is james diamond,
And I... I wanna be famous.
* whoa, oh... * ow!
Fill out the rest of this Sheet
and wait for your number
To be called.
Did you get in?
Yes! I told you.
This is madness! I'm a star!
I'm gonna be the next Gwen stefani!
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, jenny.
He's evil. I'm a star!
A star!
You, name.
Me?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, no, thank you.
I'm gonna be a doctor.
Yeah, well, I'm a desperate
Talent scout, and you have
A cute smile, and justin
Timberlake made $44 million
Dollars last year.
Hit me.
I wanna be famous, too.
* whoa, oh * yes.
You, tall, blond, And
eyebrows, you want your
Dreams to come true today?
Sorry. My dream is to play
Center for the minnesota wild,
But I'll also consider The maple leafs.
Ah. 810 is next.
Oh, look. You're next.
Dude, you don't sing.
Carlos, that was the worst Pep
talk in history. Luckily I'm
A genius. I'll think Of something.
Kendall.
Beat box.
Got it.
* wakka-chicka, wakka-chicka,
Wakka-chicka * stop!
Stop it forever.
Uh, I just started.
And now you're finished, But
I'm not, because I wanna
Tell you what else you are!
Get back here! I have bad words,
And I wanna use them on you!
I wanna make fun of you...
don't go in there.
He... he... he's satan.
He's satan With bug-eyed sunglasses.
811. 811's up.
All you, buddy. Go get 'em.
Yeah.
Yeah.
* hoo,
Hoo,
Hoo *
hu-ehh!
No!
Not goin' to hollywood.
812. 812's up.
James this is your dream, Not mine.
Remember,
Opportunities like this come
Once in a lifetime. Now grab on
To that dream with both
hands And go big time.
Well, he's not hideous.
* people say I'm the life
Of the party because
I tell a joke or two *
not bad.
* although I might be
Laughin' loud and hearty,
Deep inside, I know... *
stop. Stop.
I'm sorry.
I got a l... A little nervous there.
Can I start over?
Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Start over. Why don't you, uh,
Go outside and then just don't
Come back in. Ok? Next!
But I'm good.
I don't need good. I need The fire, ok?
I need someone to
Knock me out of my seat, and as
You can tell, I'm still in it,
Because you have no talent!
No talent?! No talent?!
You're the one with no talent.
You haven't had a hit In 10 years.
Hey, "girl to my heart" by
Boyquake was a hit 9 years ago.
Oh, "girl to my heart.
" let Me see if I can remember that
Rock classic.
* girl, my eyes, And, girl, my mind,
It never stops after it
starts, 'cause you're a girl,
A girl, a girl to my Heart, heart, heart *
whoa! Whoa! Security!
Hey, here's a new hit for You.
* oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd *
Hey, get off me. Come on.
Get off me.
Quick. What's the worst that
Could happen if I try and break
Him free?
Uh, j-juvenile, one prior For mooning.
20 hours
Community service.
I can live with that.
Oh.
Aah! Yeah, how do you
Like that, fluffy?!
Aah!
I gotta get new friends.
Get off of me!
Mom, remember that time I
saved you from choking? Wow,
That was close. And I love you.
I feel so alive.
Dude, how did you know Those songs?
They play boyquake on the
Nineties channel all day
At work, and I made up The giant turd song.
That was catchy.
What happened? The truth.
Now.
Mrs. Majkowski helped us
try To make james famous.
But this producer guy was
Super mean to everyone.
So I sang him the giant turd
Song, and there was a tiny
Fight, but nobody got hurt.
And now I'm really sad.
Ok. Who want's a sandwich?
Ooh, yes.
That'd be great.
Wait. That's it? That's your Interrogation?
You didn't put
The screws to 'em or slap
'em With the hard cheese.
I don't know what you're
Talking about, but you are not
Allowed to watch fox anymore.
Well, can I least Hear the giant turd song?
* oh, you're such a turd *
* oh, yeah, a giant turd *
* and you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd *
And you smell like a turd *
And you smell like a turd *
* oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd... *
Aah!
Yes!
I knew you'd come back For me.
I'm not here for you.
I'm here for him.
I'm here for him.
What?
I'll make some tea.
Mrs. Knight, I wanna take
Your family to los angeles
And produce some demo tracks With kendall.
You can't be serious.
It'll take 3 months.
We'll take care of all Of your expenses.
Kendall, you have a gift.
You have the fire.
You also have Anger management issues.
Some people say I have anger
Management issues, but I also
Have 5 houses!
* people say I'm the life
Of the party, becau... *
stop it.
Ok.
Please.
Don't ever Do that again.
Yeah.
Thank you.
Kendall, we've traveled to 22 cities.
We've auditioned over
20,000 people, and gustavo's Picked you.
But I'm not a singer.
You sing all the time... in the
Car, at the table. You sing to
Me when I can't sleep at night.
No, I don't.
Yes, you do, honey.
When you shovel the driveway.
When you answered the door 2 minutes ago.
But that's not singing.
Yes, it is, honey.
And he's always singing along
To the nineties channel.
Katie!
So, what do you say, kiddo, Huh?
You wanna go out to l.A.
And be molded and shaped
Into a big old star by
The gustavo rocque? Ha ha.
No.
Ha ha ha ha ha!
I'm gonna need to take A minute.
I'm gonna need to take
A minute right now.
It's for the teacup.
I'm gonna destroy this state!
And the planter Outside.
This state owes me a latte!
Here's my card.
If you change Your mind, call.
You shouldout.
Idiot.
Night on this whole singing
Thing, and katie was right.
You're an idiot.
It's breaking right.
Guys, I don't wanna go To l.
A. With that jerk. I wanna
Be here with you jerks and
play Hockey for our team.
But this is just like hockey.
Only, instead of crashing The boards andus
You're singing and dancing.
What have you got to lose?
Dude, california... the girls, The
beach, the stars. The girls.
Yeah, but none of that Matters
if it's minus my best
Friends.
Add those numbers up, Professor.
Ok, carry the 2. Ah, nope.
Still an idiot.
What about you?
You haven't Said anything to me all day.
I'm not talkin' to you.
You just did.
You know what? All right, Dude,
part of me hates you right
Now. No, all of me hates you.
But call that guy back.
That guy said you have
No talent, made you cry,
And broke my mom's teacup.
But he wants to make You famous.
Uhh!
Sorry.
Ok, if I make a hole in one, You
have to call that guy back.
Wha-hoo! Whaah!
Ooh.
Ooh. You should still
ooh.
Ooh.
You should still Call him.
He's been on the cover
Of "rolling stone."
what other odd things do
you Carry in your pockets?
My lucky comb and 8x10
Personalized head shots...
One boy next door, one bad boy.
We just want what's best For you, man.
I'm logan.
Oh. You.
Oh. You.
He got hit by a car for you.
Yeah, opportunities like this
Come once in a lifetime.
Now let me get this straight.
You're saying if you all had
A chance to go to l.A. With
A giant turd producer to
record Demos, you'd go.
Yes.
Sorry. Kelly wainwright,
Rocque records.
Don't think about him.
Think millions of dollars.
Think millions of girls.
Think of me as the backup Singer
who could spin off in his
Own solo career, you know,
After your second album.
Well?
Ok, I'll go to l.A.
With you And record some demos if...
You take my buds and
make us A singing group.
Dude!
Cold up my nose.
Cold up my nose.
Well, you guys said You would go.
I-I'm sorry.
Are you trying To make a deal with me?
I make the deals.
If you want me, you have to Take all of us.
Have you even heard your friends Sing?
Oh, that's right.
They can't.
Well, I'm no mega-producer
Like you, but I know they sing
Better than dogs, and you can
Turn them into stars. Right?
Is this supposed to sway me?
I'm gustavo rocque. I'm amazing.
I'm amazing. And if you think
For one second that I'm so
Desperate because of 2 or 22
Cities that I haven't been able
To find anybody, you can think
Again, because there is no way,
No way gustavo rocque is takin'
The 4 dogs from minnesota to Los
angeles to make them stars.
It's never gonna happen. Never!
So, we have a deal.
Yep.
* do you want to
Ride in a big limousine?
Tell me do you want to Take a
little bite Of the fame machine? *
* you wanna be famous *
* famous *
* you wanna be the one
Who's takin' a free ride *
welcome to the palm woods,
Home of the future famous.
That's the first palm
tree I've ever touched.
Every year, kids and parents
From all over the world come
Here looking for fame in
tv, Movies, and music.
Oh, hey. There's that funny Kid
from the juice box Commercials.
I just want my Childhood back!
Tyler, let's go.
Ok.
You guys are gonna love it here.
The rooms are clean, You're
close to the studio,
And there is an amazing pool.
I love pools.
* doo doo, doo doo, Doo doo, doo doo *
we're so not in minnesota Anymore.
Uh, minnie who now?
What can I say?
You guys were right.
How dare you?! What we had Was real!
But you threw it all
Away for trish! Trish, my sworn Enemy!
I never wanna see you
Again, troy! Never!
What just happened?
You new guys just met
Camille, the palm woods
Method actress queen.
The name's tyler. You may have
Seen me acting on various juice
Box commercials. Only, I don't
Wanna be an actor. I wanna be
A kid.
Tyler!
Oh! Hide me.
Have you seen my son?
Have you seen my son?
Red hair, adorable, born to be A star?
We've got an audition!
He went that way.
She's gone.
She's gone.
Thanks.
So is everyone here an actor?
No. That's guitar dude.
He's a "songwriter."
what's up?
* what's up? What's up?
What's up? * Yeah.
Oh, that's lightning, oh, that's
lightning, The tv wonder dog.
He's good.
Oh, and then there's the Jennifers.
3 girls all have
The same name, who sing, dance, And act.
Hey!
We're in a band.
We're in a band.
Really?
Oh, my gosh.
And we're actresses Who don't care.
Wanna go to the movies Tonight?
Are you guys starring In the movie?
No.
Then no.
If that seems harsh, It's
because it is, and so is
This town, so...
Later.
I'm so in love.
I'm so in love.
Ok, reality check.
We have to Promise ourselves now that we're
Not gonna let this singing thing
Or this town change us. We are 4
Hockey players from minnesota,
And we can never forget that.
Do we all agree?
Yes.
Once you've sipped from a real
Coconut, there's no goin' back.
So true.
Ok, we do realize there are
3 of them and 4 of us.
And they blew us off.
No, they said, "later."
and it's later.
Ok, mom's all checked in,
Your sister complained again
That she has no friends, so your
Mom let her watch "shark cage"
On fox, and now it's time To start
gustavo's boy-band Boot camp.
Kelly, we're a little Busy here.
So am I. And they won't go
For you until you're famous,
So let's roll.
Ho ho ho. Kelly, kelly,
Clearly you don't understand
The power of the...
Whew.
Ladies...
I don't think we Properly introduced...
Ourselves.
Ok, let's go to boot camp.
* ah ah, oh ohh *
ahem.
Ahem.
Hey, griffin.
Hey, I have Been meaning to call you.
Yes, and I've been meaning
To teach my pet liger sign
Language, but I didn't either.
I also did not approve of one
Million dollars to find a boy
Band. The boy band is dead.
Show him the research.
I have a plan. It's a 3-month Plan.
It's gonna blow you away.
Change of plan.
The rcmcbt Globalnet sanyoid board of
Directors meeting is in 4 days,
And I need to throw them some
Red meat, which means you have
Exactly 3 days to serve me
A tasty dish.
3 days?
You're giving me 3 days.
Yes, and I want a look, a Name,
and a song that will make
11- to 15-year-olds steal their
Parents' credit cards so they
Can buy it. This band has to
Have it all, gustavo, because as
You know, I want it all. Mmm.
Warm pants. There's nothing
like The feeling of warm pants.
Get gustavo some warm pants.
Friday, 10 a.M., and they better
Be good, or you're finished.
No!
Welcome to rocque records, Where
you are gonna sing, dance,
And sweat your butts off if you
Wanna end up on these walls.
Do we want to end up On these walls?
Yes.
Guys, say hi to Nicole scherzinger
from The pussycat dolls.
Whahh.
Hey, guys. What's up?
He's gonna marry you.
Where's my ring?
I... I... I... we're recording
some demos With gustavo.
Gustavo.
Yeah.
Have you worked With him?
Yes, actually on my first Album.
Let's just say we had
Some creative differences.
Nicole, baby! Ohh!
Good luck, guys.
Sh-sh-sh-she... nicole.
All clear.
Ok, so you guys Ready to be stars?
Yeah.
Good. Then prove to me you Can be stars.
We have 3 days
To prove to this record company
That there's something,
Anything here.
Uh, 3 days?
What happened To 3 months?
Uh, the ceo of all of our Butts
wants to see you guys On Friday.
We have to be a band In 3 days?
No, you have to be a great Band
in 3 days, unless you don't
Think that you can do it, Mr.
Make us a pop group.
Oh, we can do it. No problem.
Bring it.
Oh, I will bring it.
I'll bring everything I got.
This is a little too close For me.
Yeah, me, too.
To be a great pop group, you
Need 4 things... great dancing,
A great look, a great song,
And great singing.
* ooh, yeah, Take me to the top *
and by the end of today, me And
my team will transform the 4
Dogs from minnesota into gustavo
Rocque's new pop explosion.
* baby, yeah *
we're the marketing team.
We don't really have a move.
Well, we could try something.
Maybe.
Stop it. Stop it now.
Thank you. First up in
boot Camp, great dancing.
Mr. X has choreographed for
Boyquake, boyz in the attic,
Madonna, beyonce, And
"yo gabba gabba."
and now I will make you
X-plode with the dance.
We will start with An x-amination.
Cross leg, Spin, pose.
Whoa!
Ohh.
I'm good.
He is great, but not serious.
He is serious, but not great.
He lost a pet when he was
young, And he is still sad.
Sparky.
And he is just plain awful.
Yep. Heh.
They are x-cruciating and
Cannot be ready by Friday.
I'll x-double your salary.
X-done.
All right, I'm gonna be back
In one hour, and I wanna see
Dancers, not dogs.
Starting positions.
Again.
* 5, 6, 7, 8 *
* 5, 6, 7, 8 *
raah!
Ok. So it's been an hour, And...
What happened to mr. X?
What happened to mr. X?
Well, first he banged his Head
into the wall a few times.
Then we got really dizzy.
Then he said a bunch of bad
Words that started with "x."
then he x-quit.
Ah...
Whaah!
Look, sweetie, I know this
Move is a big shock, but there
Are lots of kids at the palm
Woods, and you should play with
Them and not chairs.
I'm fine, mom.
We need to support your
Brother and the guys, and...
What are you doing?
10 bucks.
10 bucks.
Sweetheart, the pool is free.
Sweetheart, the pool is free.
Not the vip room.
It's amazing what chumps in this
Town'll pay to sit behind some
Stupid velvet ropes.
I'm looking for my son.
He's short, cute red hair...
I saw a kid just like that
Running that way.
Aah!
Thanks, katie.
Don't mention it.
10 bucks.
So you're good then.
I am loving this town, So the
guys better not blow it.
Part 2 of my great pop-group
Boot camp, the great look.
When do we sing?
When I tell you to sing!
Guys, we have some exciting
Looks that will literally
Transform you.
Can't we just be ourselves?
No.
Boys, we researched and
Electroshocked focus groups
To determine the exact look and
Name that will sell millions
Of records.
Then we turn you over To the stylists...
To change all your clothes and
Possibly shave your heads.
Now, griffin wants a tasty Dish on Friday.
That's why we're
Giving him...
whoa!
Ow!
No, not hair. Not hair.
Boy-liscious.
The beach, girls, The shirtless overalls.
I think we look good.
Not bad, uh, but I need
Options. What else you got?
Change it.
Red, white & boy.
This look does great with War
veterans who own buicks.
We look good.
We look like uncle sam Threw up on us.
You, silent.
You, more options.
Change them.
I give you...
danger boy.
Danger boy is danger.
Parents will forbid their kids
To buy the dangerous music.
And that's exactly why They will.
Boo-yah.
I, uh, can't feel my legs.
That's because the pants
are Dangerously tight.
I hate it.
So do we.
I need 5 new looks for Tomorrow.
All right, now follow
Me to hear your first hit single
That's gonna put me back on top.
Move out.
All right, come on.
Ohh. Ohh.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Oh, goin' down.
I think we look good.
* ah ah, oh ohh *
ok, part 3 of the great
Pop-group boot campapalooza,
The great song.
It's called "girl time."
it's a song about no matter
it's a song about no matter
What time of day it is, * don't
you know It's girl time? *
I just woke up.
What time is it? It's girl time.
Excuse me, sir.
Do you know what Time it is? Yeah.
It's girl time.
What if you have a sinus Infection?
Isn't that Doctor time?
No.
No, no, it's still Girl time.
Mm, right.
Do any of your songs not have
The word "girl" in them?
Heh. Well, le-let's find out, Mr.
Question everything I do.
Let's take a look at my wall Of
platinum records! Let's see.
There's, uh, "girl like you,"
"girl, you are my girl," "hot
Girl," "cold girl," "girl to my
Heart," "yard squirrel
Christmas... " I forgot that one
Was there. Uh, "girl zone,"
"girl l zone remix," "girl cake"
And "girl, girl, girl,"
Which sold 3 million copies and
Was number one for 5 weeks!
Any other questions, dog?
Are any of those songs
From this girl-ennium?
And finally, a small downtown
Earthquake today has
Seismologists baffled.
Just a Modest 3.1 on the richter scale,
But it's still a mystery, Because
the epicenter was not on
Any previously known fault line.
Ok, your heart rate is back
To normal, and your blood
Pressure is 120 over 80.
You can produce now.
Ah! But remember, these boys
Haven't had a break all day.
I think they're gettin'
A little punchy.
I don't care. Ok, and now
It's time for the final phase
Of gustavo rocque's most
Awesomest pop-group boot camp,
The singing!
What is this place?
It's a sound booth, guys.
It just isolates the vocals
In case we need to edit or
Enhance them later.
Why are there pillows On the floor?
Do you want us to nap?
'cause we will.
They just absorb any extra Echo
or treble, just like those
Big foam mike covers.
And I put some fruit water
In there in case your mouths
Get dry, ok?
Ok, great. And...
Funny. Do it again.
Heh. Not so tough without
Your helmet, are you?
Huaah!
Oh! Knock it off.
Ohh!
You just ruined my lucky White v-neck.
Aah!
Maybe the fruit water Was a bad idea.
Please get them to stop.
Guys. Guys.
Pillows were a bad idea, too.
I told you they were tired.
Just have the boys Meet me in the
studio When they're finished.
You can't sing.
You can't sing or dance.
I can back-flip.
Stop it.
Ok.
Forever.
Mm-hmm.
And worst of all, you don't
Even seem to want this.
What about me?
I can sing, Dance, and I want this.
You remind me a lot Of matthew mcconaughey.
Awesome.
I can't stand matthew Mcconaughey.
This group
Can't sing, can't dance.
You don't have a song or a look,
And they're covered in feathers!
And I would rather quit right
Now than commit pop suicide
On Friday in front of the record Company.
However, there is one
Song I would love to play For you.
* ooh, now that I'm
through Bangin' my head,
This band of dogs
Is officially dead *
he's a really good Piano player.
And I'm so depressed.
It's the music.
Guitar dude, please.
Oh. Sorry.
So has gustavo dork made
You guys famous yet?
We had some creative Differences.
You got fired, didn't you?
All he did was yell and
Scream at us and make us wear
Dangerously tight pants.
Yeah, you're right.
He wanted To turn us into rich and famous
Pop stars. What an idiot!
He wanted to turn us into
his Trained dancing dogs.
Rich and famous dancing dogs.
He's got a point.
Oh. So you're siding
With james now?
No. I... maybe. Kinda. Yes.
You guys blew it. You blew My shot.
You could have tried
Harder, but you didn't.
Ok. Let's all just calm down
And think nice, happy thoughts
About kittens.
You think about kittens with
Your bad singing and that
Stupid helmet.
Whoa. Guys. Guys.
Remember our pact about not
Letting this town tear us apart.
Whaah!
Great. Now we're all Fighting.
I didn't even wanna Do this.
Everybody with no problem
Wants to do this, kendall!
I know, but it's all Happening so fast!
Whaah!
Katie, what'd you Do that for?
Looked like you guys Needed to cool off.
She's right.
I'm sorry.
I could stay here and be a Model.
I'm still great-looking.
Or the star of a reality show.
Which one? "Project idiot"?
That's just Your jealousy talking.
You know what's funny?
We didn't even get a
chance To sing together.
Heh.
* oh, you're such a turd *
* oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd *
* oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd,
And you smell like a turd,
Oh, you're such a turd,
Oh, yeah, a giant turd,
And you look like a turd, And you *
* smell like a turd *
we should do this. You guys Were right.
I really think we
Should do this.
How? We got fired, remember?
We didn't get fired.
I mean, We got fired, but the problem is
We didn't try our best.
I tried my best.
We know, james. We know.
Guitar dude, I need some music,
Something inspirational.
We are hockey players, brothers
We are hockey players, brothers
Of the ice, and we do not quit.
Now, are we gonna dump the puck
And scramble back to the bench,
Or are we gonna grab that puck,
Pull the goalie, and rush
The net big time?
You really think we can
Make it as a boy band?
No, but I've realized 3
things since we got here.
1... I love singing.
2... I love Singing with you guys,
And opportunities like this
Come once in a lifetime.
What's the third thing?
It's minus-8 in minnesota Right
now, and I'm in love with
This pool. So what's the play?
Dump the puck or big time rush?
Big time rush.
Big time rush.
Big time rush.
Big time rush.
Well?
Ok, we'll do it your way.
No Goofing off, no pillow fights,
And no questions for the next 2 days.
Ok. "Girl time" from the top.
Except for that.
We really Don't wanna sing "girl time."
oh, let me guess.
You have A better idea. Well, let's...
Let's hear it.
Let's hear The dogs' better song title.
"big time rush."
it's a song about 4 hockey
Players from minnesota who have
An amazing opportunity in front
Of 'em, and they're gonna
take Their best shot.
I like it, and you've got To
stop using the word "girl"
In all of your song titles.
I... Like it also.
We're gonna Be workin' all night,
Because Friday is 2 days away,
And we are in a big time rush.
Yes.
Ok, "big time rush" from the Top.
Only, this time, let's try
Not to make me wanna choke you.
* ah ah, oh ohh *
* make it count, Play it
straight, Don't look back,
Don't hesitate *
* when you go *
* big time *
* what you want, What you feel,
Never quit and make it real *
* when you roll *
* big time *
* oh, ooh whoa *
* hey, hey *
* listen to your heart now *
* hey, hey *
* don't you feel the rush? *
* hey, hey *
* better take your shot now *
* ohh, ohh, Ohh, ohh *
* go and shake it up, What you gotta lose?
Go and make your luck
With the life you choose,
If you want it all, Lay it on the line,
It's the only life you got, So
you gotta live it big time,
Ah ah, oh ohh, Ah ah, oh ohh *
* step it up, get in gear, Go
for broke, make it clear *
* gotta go *
* big time *
* oh, yeah *
* make it work, get it right,
Change the world overnight *
* gotta dream *
* big time *
* oh, oh *
* hey, hey *
* give it all you got now *
* hey, hey *
* isn't it a rush? *
* hey, hey *
* finish what you start now *
* ohh, ohh, Ohh, ohh *
* whoa *
* go and shake it up, What you gotta lose?
Go and make your luck With
the life you choose *
* life you choose *
* if you want it all, Lay it on the line,
It's the only life you got, So
you gotta live it big time *
I like 'em, and the board's Gonna love 'em.
What do you think?
You got 3 months to make your Demos.
I told you the boy band
Was back. I have to go.
My pants are cold.
Guess who's stayin' in l.A.
Whahh!
Yes!
Yes!
Ha ha ha!
Stop cheering. If you thought
The last 3 days were hard, wait
Till you see the next 3 months.
Carlos still can't sing,
Logan still can't dance,
And I still can't stand james.
We'll work on it.
Ok, now you can celebrate.
Yeah!