Big Love (2006–2011): Season 1, Episode 12 - The Ceremony - full transcript
Barb gets caught up in the Mother of the Year ceremony preparations, despite concerns from Nikki. Bill makes his move on Roman at the board meeting, not realizing another development will jeopardize it.
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If we're not successful-- if we mess this up, Roman will strike back.
Blitz the quarterback, you don't get the sack, they score on you. Yeah.
Getting in there and taking the seat is nothing.
Getting the books buys our protection.
We're gonna do it. We'll-- we'll do it.
We strike first and we strike hard.
Look, there's other ways we could go. We could do a proxy or-- or a voting trust.
I told you I'm in, Bill. I'm in.
All right, this is it.
We've got a seat on the U.E.B. council.
"Got"? What's that mean, "got"?
We now own Ernest Holloway's shares and his seat.
We who? We you? We us?
We us. We've got to neutralize Roman...
And force him to control Alby.
For any of us to live in peace, you here or-- or me up in the city.
But isn't your seat just one of 12 on the board?
If we're on the board that controls his business empire,
we know everything he's trying to hide.
It's a shot through the heart, and he can't retaliate.
Yeah. I just knew this was gonna be a good day.
Savor it, mom.
For too long, we've been the flies in his web,
but we're about to turn the tables.
No one knows yet, but they will.
When? How soon?
Council meets in the city tomorrow.
Joey and I will be there.
Joey will take the seat.
Not Joey. But-- why Joey?
Mom, my brother and I are a team.
Wanda? Uh--
Bill's the public face of this family. He can't be connected with the U.E.B.
And I have a family now, and-- and I refuse to live under the shadow anymore.
I've been on the sidelines long enough.
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Dear heavenly Father, I haven't always been the most steadfast--
you know that.
I haven't always been as humble as... I might have been.
But you have offered me love in spite of my failings.
You have brought the boys back together again.
Mmm, now we're cookin' with gas.
Watch over my boys... please.
Thanks.
- Barbara Henrickson?
- Yes.
Here you go.
Can you just sign right here, please?
Thanks. You have a nice day.
Thank you.
Tickets to the event came.
- Go, mom!
- Ha ha!
How do they pick which mother would be the mother of the year?
A committee.
But I mean, why did they pick Barb?
Is she more important than you two?
Uh, no.
Well, was there something lacking in you two?
Only one person can be mother of the year.
Teenie nominated Barb, so that's how it happened.
Here.
What is it?
Breakfast.
To go.
You're irritable, Nicki.
Try to find time for a nap this afternoon.
This award-- I just want to know when it turned into such a big deal.
When we found out it was being held at the governor's mansion.
You have to let her have this, Nicki.
Well, you must admit she's become so full of herself.
Hmm-mm. You can't rain on her parade.
I won't.
I won't. Don't worry.
Holloway has taken his wives and he's run.
Maybe he's on vacation.
Maybe he's having his hip replaced.
Bill is on the compound.
I know. Inroads.
Inroads, inroads.
Papa?
Why is he so relentless?
What have we done to deserve such calumny?
Well, our settlement agreement ties our hands in making evictions.
Find other ways to contain him.
Oh, do you want to help me pick out a color to dye my shoes for the ceremony?
This is the dress I want them to match.
I'd say it's this color, don't you think?
Wouldn't this make a lovely shawl for my dress?
It is nice.
Oh my.
Oh, it's much too expensive.
It's pretty, though.
Well, it is beehive mother of the year, Barb.
You probably deserve it.
You're right.
I thought you left.
What you doin'?
Frying eggs.
For who?
One for Lester, one for Aaron, two for you.
I broke Lester's yolk, but he won't mind.
Wow. You're in an interesting mood this mornin'.
Guess I am.
Why?
New beginnings.
You have an exam today.
I can't believe you remembered.
You're sweet.
You're pregnant.
Good mornin'.
So where is he?
I don't know.
I think you do.
Out.
Oh, look what I found.
Ooh... oh, it's--
I can only ask so many times.
You know what?
He should be home real soon.
Why don't you have a seat and wait?
Is he with Bill?
I think maybe he is.
Maybe.
I think so.
Yeah, well...
brothers should be careful,
because brothers can get brothers in trouble.
Call him.
I can't.
Joey has the phone.
Oh, well... use mine.
Hi, honey! It's me.
Um, Alby's here, so you've better come home real quick.
Don't know.
I didn't ask him.
Okay.
Bye, honey.
He should be home in just a second.
Here, I've brought you something to drink while you wait.
Are you enjoying the competition so far?
It's been like a dream come true.
Have you liked seeing Nicki and visiting with us?
Yes, so much.
Rhonda, let me ask you a question:
do you miss not being in school?
Sometimes.
Sweetie, no promises now, but...
would you like to stay here and finish the school year?
I don't know how we'd do it, and there's a lot of things to work out,
but is that something you'd be interested in?
And to stay here with you?
Mm-hmm, yes.
Well, honey-- honey, no promises, okay?
Oh, I know that you'll make sure I can stay.
Oh, all right, let's just keep this our secret for now.
I have to talk it over with Bill first...
And Nicki.
I love you, Barb.
You really are the best mother of the year.
You're the best mother ever.
Honey, I'm home.
I have to go and meet Bill.
Wanda?
What are you doing home?
Why's Alby sleeping on our sofa?
Oh, no.
- What did you do?
- Nothing.
You promised.
Just tell me, am I too late?
Joey, he's a bad man. He's a kook.
What'd you use, honey?
Antifreeze. But you said he was a menace, and he is a menace.
You can't just go around trying to poison everyone who's mean to us. It's not good!
He was threatening my family and my baby, and he's out to break you.
And I'm sorry, honey, but I'm just not gonna let that happen.
I mean, he's a sociopath or a psychopath at least.
Eagle Gas.
Ma, it's me. Can you come over?
Nope. I'm workin'.
Right away, ma. I need you right away.
What is happening?
It's Wanda.
Oh, Lord. Not again.
She poisoned Alby.
Is he dead?
No, not yet, but, uh, uh... Bill's waitin' for me, and I gotta get and I can't leave.
Do you think you could maybe come over, mom, and be with her while I'm gone?
Oh, I don't need anyone, Joey--
No, Wanda, you do!
I asked Nicki to bring over the sewing machine. It sure would help.
What does Nicki really think of this mother of the year thing?
- Spill it.
- She's for it.
- Margie.
- No.
I mean, she said that she thinks it's a tawdry testimonial to monogamy,
but she's all for you winning.
Has she said anything to you about what she's wearing?
Hmm-mm.
Just try to try to get her to wear something a little warm.
I mean, she sticks out like a sore thumb.
Oh...
Well, I-- I know--
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but, um,
it's like walking into the governor's mansion with a sign that says "practicing polygamist,"
and she'll-- she'll never listen to it coming from me.
She'll think I'm attacking her.
I mean, even just offer to do her hair.
Machine.
Thank you.
Bill!
Joey, where have you been? I said meet me here at 2:00.
The meeting started 15 minutes ago.
I know. I'm sorry, Bill. I just-- I lost track of the time.
And I got a flat tire too.
You look pale.
No, I'm just tired.
Uh, I'm nervous about this, Bill.
It's okay. I'm nervous too.
Let's say a prayer on it.
Heavenly Father, we come to you as brothers.
We ask that you protect us and give us strength in this great undertaking.
Grant us victory against our foes,
in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Amen.
So, uh, the miners refused to return to the mine.
Huh. We gave them a place to shower. Isn't that what they want?
All this fuss over a shower?
They want medical benefits and a retirement package.
Never.
I'm through pussyfooting around.
Report them all to the I.N.S. then replace them.
What are you doing here?
Is this Ernest Holloway's seat?
Ernest Holloway has been excommunicated.
Maybe, but this is his seat or was.
It's the Henrickson seat now. Joey.
Everything okay there?
It's true, Roman. Copies of shares endorsed over.
We're here at your table where we rightfully belong.
Get out of here. Get my son.
Shall we move on to beehive--
As board members, it's our responsibility to review all business and financial transactions.
You will not desecrate our sacred files.
Oh, yes, I will.
Let the record reflect that we are taking the minutes of the last few meetings
so that we can be up to speed next time.
Where's Alby?
There's no answer.
Get him. Get him now.
I can take this right now, Roman.
Or I can go get a cop and enforce our rights as shareholders.
This meeting is out of order.
Article four requires changes in membership be submitted
to the executive board 10 days prior to the meeting
wherein the proposed new member is seated.
That has not happened.
Meeting adjourned.
You, get out of that seat.
I'm staying, Roman.
You okay, miss Hunt?
No, Del. I am not.
Oh gee, I'm sorry to hear that.
Someone I trusted very very much has betrayed me.
If you knew someone was an imposter, Del,
and say they were pretending to be somebody they were not,
hoodwinking others,
and they were about to receive an honor based on false representations,
wouldn't it be your responsibility to sit them down and-and talk to them?
About what?
About what they were doing.
About how misguided they were.
Isn't it your duty to help them?
Well, I suppose it is.
If I thought it was my business.
Gee-- well, I think it is your business. That's what I think.
I mean, how could you live with yourself if you didn't try and help them?
We've got the files, we've got the computer. He can't retaliate. How can he retaliate?
- Hello?
- Here she is.
Mom, hey. Calling to tell you that it went well.
We made it in and we made it back out. And so far, safe and sound.
Well, that's wonderful. Uh, say, could I talk to Joey for a minute, Bill?
That's it? Just "wonderful"?
Fantastic. Super. Really great.
Uh, can you give me Joey?
Hi, mom. How are you?
I'm right as rain, uh, but I'm--
I wonder what you want me to do about our little situation.
And-- and how's that goin'?
What's going on?
He's still passed out,
but his breathing's quickening.
I suspect he's about to wake up, which is a big relief,
but not without its own complications,
so I'm wondering what you would suggest I do.
Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you in trouble.
Wanda, it's okay, honey. Just put mom back on--
- Joey, what is going on?
- It's bad. It's real bad.
I didn't want to tell you. I wanted to keep it from you,
except now I guess you need to know, because it might affect you.
I mean, when Roman finds out about it. I mean, if.
'Cause he might-- he might not find this out at all.
- What?
- Hello?!
Yeah, mom, hold on a sec!
It's Wanda.
Are you telling Bill? I-- I don't know that I'd do that.
She poisoned Alby. He's lying on the couch.
Big mistake.
- Alby's dead?
- No, but it's close.
Antifreeze.
Like with dad, except not arsenic.
Wanda poisoned dad?
Yeah, kinda.
But she called me. She called me to-- to come and save him.
Well, not really. She called you 'cause she got to feel guilty
about you not having a chance to say goodbye to him.
I mean, we probably should have told you about this, Bill,
and now this has happened. I-- I um--
Just give me the phone. Mom.
Isn't this a dilly?
Get him to a hospital now.
I told you that it wasn't me that tried to poison your father.
But oh no, nobody believed me.
Do you know the effects of the stuff?
Wanda, do you know the effects?
Gets drunk, passes out, then it's the kidneys that go.
Gets drunk, passes out, dies.
Mom, listen to me.
You and Wanda have got to get Alby to a hospital now. Do you hear me?
And you can't be seen doin' it.
And you've got to get rid of his car, and you can't be seen doing that, either.
Then get home and don't move.
We'll be there in a couple of hours.
It's just a cry for help. That's what I think it is.
Mom, go now!
I accept this award on behalf of my loving husband Bill
and our three children--
our three lovely children.
And on behalf of all Utah mothers who juggle schedules,
work, stay up nights,
give selflessly-- sometimes selfishly-- but always give--
All right...
I am mortified. I cannot believe you just saw me doing that.
And don't assume that I think I'm gonna win, by the way.
I think it's human, Barb.
I mean, who doesn't like to win?
You're right.
You asked me to be honest, Barb,
and I'm only sharing my truest, innermost feelings with you because I love you.
I know that, Nicki.
I'm thinking perhaps...
you shouldn't accept this award.
I knew you felt that way, and it's not as if I don't have these misgivings myself.
You know, I think I feel more than just misgivings.
Either we are what we say we are or we're not,
and you accepting this award feels like we're not what we say we are--
a family.
And that hurts me.
So what would you have me do, Nicki,
in this particular situation? What?
Pull out.
Well, I don't see how I can pull out now.
Everyone else is counting on me.
Maybe you're overestimating the importance of this event in all our lives.
Maybe.
But I don't want to pull out.
And when Teenie told me, at first I thought,
"how silly," and "of course, I can't do this."
And then I thought, "wait a minute, yes, I can."
I'm a good mother, Nicki.
And over the last few days, I realized that it's important to me
to feel like I can be seen that way.
Well, what I really came to tell you is I can't go.
Now, wait one minute.
It's important to me that my family be there, that you be there, Nicki.
I have to do what I think is right.
We just found his truck.
Where?
It was parked near the landfill on Miller's Lane.
The cab was unlocked. The keys were inside.
Well, where is he?
We don't know.
Well, did anybody see him?
No, the nearest house is a quarter mile away.
He-- he's never missed a council meeting before.
I bet he's all right.
Let me know when you find him.
No one saw anything. No one knows anything.
Came to your house, asked about Joey, and then he left.
You got it?
No one called you, you-- you didn't come. You know nothing.
Got it.
And no one-- no one-- deviates one iota from that story.
I need one of you three to stay on top of it.
Call the hospital and get checkups on his condition.
- Got it.
- No, not you, you.
And use the cell phone so it can't be traced.
Okay.
You gotta shape up, people. Gotta shape up.
We've gotta hold it together, we gotta go about our business as if everything was normal.
Understand?
Questions?
Well, hello there, honey.
Hi, Adaleen.
Could you come over to the car for a moment?
Oh. Look what you've done to your jacket.
Open the door, sweetie.
- Now, get in.
- No.
May I ask what you think your plans are?
I'm going to win the competition.
Are you?
The competition is over.
Of course, I found out. What kind of sisterwife do you take me for?
Get in, your little Roman holiday is over.
I'm still in the competition.
Oh, you're nothing of the sort.
You can't prove it.
I don't know if you're deluded, demented or merely willfully disobedient.
Now, get in this car tout de suite!
No! I'm through with you, Adaleen!
Rhonda!
Rhonda!
Okay, we'll see. Oh no, you're not gettin' out of this.
You must relinquish the seat.
I'm sorry.
It's too late.
Are you an agent for someone else? Some other group?
Someone covetous of our success?
I am my own agent, Roman.
Well, you're not displeasing me,
you're throwing out a challenge to God.
You shall relinquish that seat,
or I will bring your temple crashing down upon you.
No, you won't. You've had your hands on my throat, now I've got mine on yours.
Everything on your computer I now have on discs.
If anything happens to me or my family,
one copy goes to the district attorney, one to the attorney general
and one to the I.R.S.
I see.
What have you done to Alby?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't believe you.
Something's happened to my son,
and I know you're involved in it.
You have become a mad dog, lunging and attacking without cause.
Mad dogs must be eradicated.
Hello?
I've been trying to get in touch with you for hours.
Nicki, I've been a bit busy here.
I just wanted you to know first.
I'm not going to the Beehive mother of the year ceremony.
Of course you're going. Why wouldn't you go?
I can't hide anymore... as a plural wife.
- Nicki.
- But she's just so prideful.
She's floating around like a big balloon.
I want you to support me on this one.
You know I can't take sides.
- Good night, Vickie.
- Night.
You've got to work this out with Barb.
If you truly love her, you'll support her in this.
Good night, Dan.
Say, have you spoken to Wanda or your mom or anyone in the last day or so?
No, why?
No reason. I'll see you later.
Hello, sweetie.
No!
No scenes, honey.
We've packed your bags. It's time to go now.
I'm staying here.
Everyone at home will be so glad to see you. We've missed you terribly.
But-- uh... Barb?
Honey, is the competition really over?
I told you what I did because I wanted to be here with you.
You said I could stay.
Sweetheart, we'll work on it.
But right now, we need to get our ducks in order.
No. No ducks!
I know this is a blow, but we will make it work.
We will. We just need some time to sort it out.
Sarah, Teenie, Ben! Five minutes!
That's great, Joey.
Alby's still alive. There's been no retribution.
No one knows anything.
We just might get out of this alive.
If we're lucky, it just might work out okay.
But if he dies, all bets are off.
Well, look at you.
You've never looked more beautiful.
Thank you.
Here, you take the tickets.
Oh... beautiful.
Thanks.
Hi! The babysitters have landed.
Jojo, um, babysitters?
Barb, could you... close your eyes?
Okay, open.
Thank you.
Meet you there.
Thank you.
There's just two tickets left.
No, that's not right.
No, there's six. Check in the--
Uh, it's--
Ken Byington, please.
Barbara Henrickson.
Yes, I requested six tickets and all I have are four.
But-- but they're family. They're-- they're family from out of town.
Sisters.
Well, what do-- we do-- what do you mean, "clear"?
I-- I can give you the names right now, and--
All right, thank you.
It's...
too late.
Bill here.
Uh, Bill, um, we've got a problem here.
There's a cop here. He's asking questions.
He's questioning Wanda.
What should we say? What should we do?
I'll be sure to tell her, Joey.
Stick to the story. Just stick to the story!
Uh-huh, yeah, okay.
Yes.
I would like to speak with someone about this evening's ceremony.
Correct.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Ken Byington, assistant to the first lady.
I'd like to welcome you all here tonight.
And without further ado, I would like introduce the first lady, Evelyn Linton.
We are so pleased-- honored in fact-- to have these three lovely women,
women who serve both community and home,
women who've survived the most difficult of trials in life,
only to carry on and give selflessly back to their families
without complaint, but with valor and courage.
Now, any of these three women on this dais would make a stupendous statement,
setting an example of motherhood in Utah.
But we have to choose one of them--
Uh... one moment. Um, my husband, trying to figure out the computer.
Um, I just heard that...
What do you think you would have done if you hadn't married us?
Uh... be dating... someone.
Out of Utah for sure.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Probably Portland.
Oregon?
So shocked.
I had a friend, she opened a bakery there.
Mmm, she said it was really nice.
People rode bikes everywhere. There was lots of water.
Said I could work the counter.
And then you met Bill?
Yeah.
How about you?
Well, I probably would have been placed with a husband from the compound.
Wow.
There was this one guy... Gerry,
I knew him for a long time, and he was nice enough.
He was younger.
I mean, you know, 40s.
He made some kind of overture to my father about me.
You didn't want him?
Sometimes you don't get a lot of choice there.
Do you think fate brought you to Bill?
Marge, I brought me to Bill.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Would you mind stepping over to the side for a moment, please?
What is it? What-- what happened?
Ma'am, excuse me. I need to be direct.
Are you engaged in polygamy?
You have to answer the question.
Are you a polygamist?
Good heavens. What are we gonna do?
Explain a disqualification and proceed.
What kind of disqualification?
Anything but the truth.
What's happening?
- Take her out the back way.
- Sure.
But-- but-- but... my family.
Ma'am, let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.
Please.
One of our contestants had to withdraw for personal reasons.
Um, but we send our sympathies to her, Barbara Henrickson, and...
we congratulate her for making it this far.
And, uh... now, on with the program.
What's happening to my wife?
She's been disqualified.
Why?
Sir, that would be a matter for you to discuss with her...
and your other wives.
This will be settled in a moment.
Thank you all for your patience.
We're leaving. Let's go.
Let's go!
Come on.
Hello, Sarah.
We've been exposed.
I don't know how bad it is or how bad it's gonna get.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Dad's on the phone with Don Embry.
It's not good for Home Plus.
We're goners.
Yeah, okay. Thanks.
- Where is she?
- Upstairs.
- What are you doing?
- Protecting us!
They could come for us! They could burn us down!
No, honey.
Oh, you could be arrested, you could be taken!
Nicki, no. Nicki!
- That doesn't happen anymore. We're safe.
- You've got to hide!
It's okay, we're safe. Shh...
Oh my goodness.
We're safe. We're safe. Shh.
Barb?
- I can't.
- Barb, please.
I can't.
I got what I deserved.
Oh, boss lady...
---
If we're not successful-- if we mess this up, Roman will strike back.
Blitz the quarterback, you don't get the sack, they score on you. Yeah.
Getting in there and taking the seat is nothing.
Getting the books buys our protection.
We're gonna do it. We'll-- we'll do it.
We strike first and we strike hard.
Look, there's other ways we could go. We could do a proxy or-- or a voting trust.
I told you I'm in, Bill. I'm in.
All right, this is it.
We've got a seat on the U.E.B. council.
"Got"? What's that mean, "got"?
We now own Ernest Holloway's shares and his seat.
We who? We you? We us?
We us. We've got to neutralize Roman...
And force him to control Alby.
For any of us to live in peace, you here or-- or me up in the city.
But isn't your seat just one of 12 on the board?
If we're on the board that controls his business empire,
we know everything he's trying to hide.
It's a shot through the heart, and he can't retaliate.
Yeah. I just knew this was gonna be a good day.
Savor it, mom.
For too long, we've been the flies in his web,
but we're about to turn the tables.
No one knows yet, but they will.
When? How soon?
Council meets in the city tomorrow.
Joey and I will be there.
Joey will take the seat.
Not Joey. But-- why Joey?
Mom, my brother and I are a team.
Wanda? Uh--
Bill's the public face of this family. He can't be connected with the U.E.B.
And I have a family now, and-- and I refuse to live under the shadow anymore.
I've been on the sidelines long enough.
Oh, for Pete's sake.
Dear heavenly Father, I haven't always been the most steadfast--
you know that.
I haven't always been as humble as... I might have been.
But you have offered me love in spite of my failings.
You have brought the boys back together again.
Mmm, now we're cookin' with gas.
Watch over my boys... please.
Thanks.
- Barbara Henrickson?
- Yes.
Here you go.
Can you just sign right here, please?
Thanks. You have a nice day.
Thank you.
Tickets to the event came.
- Go, mom!
- Ha ha!
How do they pick which mother would be the mother of the year?
A committee.
But I mean, why did they pick Barb?
Is she more important than you two?
Uh, no.
Well, was there something lacking in you two?
Only one person can be mother of the year.
Teenie nominated Barb, so that's how it happened.
Here.
What is it?
Breakfast.
To go.
You're irritable, Nicki.
Try to find time for a nap this afternoon.
This award-- I just want to know when it turned into such a big deal.
When we found out it was being held at the governor's mansion.
You have to let her have this, Nicki.
Well, you must admit she's become so full of herself.
Hmm-mm. You can't rain on her parade.
I won't.
I won't. Don't worry.
Holloway has taken his wives and he's run.
Maybe he's on vacation.
Maybe he's having his hip replaced.
Bill is on the compound.
I know. Inroads.
Inroads, inroads.
Papa?
Why is he so relentless?
What have we done to deserve such calumny?
Well, our settlement agreement ties our hands in making evictions.
Find other ways to contain him.
Oh, do you want to help me pick out a color to dye my shoes for the ceremony?
This is the dress I want them to match.
I'd say it's this color, don't you think?
Wouldn't this make a lovely shawl for my dress?
It is nice.
Oh my.
Oh, it's much too expensive.
It's pretty, though.
Well, it is beehive mother of the year, Barb.
You probably deserve it.
You're right.
I thought you left.
What you doin'?
Frying eggs.
For who?
One for Lester, one for Aaron, two for you.
I broke Lester's yolk, but he won't mind.
Wow. You're in an interesting mood this mornin'.
Guess I am.
Why?
New beginnings.
You have an exam today.
I can't believe you remembered.
You're sweet.
You're pregnant.
Good mornin'.
So where is he?
I don't know.
I think you do.
Out.
Oh, look what I found.
Ooh... oh, it's--
I can only ask so many times.
You know what?
He should be home real soon.
Why don't you have a seat and wait?
Is he with Bill?
I think maybe he is.
Maybe.
I think so.
Yeah, well...
brothers should be careful,
because brothers can get brothers in trouble.
Call him.
I can't.
Joey has the phone.
Oh, well... use mine.
Hi, honey! It's me.
Um, Alby's here, so you've better come home real quick.
Don't know.
I didn't ask him.
Okay.
Bye, honey.
He should be home in just a second.
Here, I've brought you something to drink while you wait.
Are you enjoying the competition so far?
It's been like a dream come true.
Have you liked seeing Nicki and visiting with us?
Yes, so much.
Rhonda, let me ask you a question:
do you miss not being in school?
Sometimes.
Sweetie, no promises now, but...
would you like to stay here and finish the school year?
I don't know how we'd do it, and there's a lot of things to work out,
but is that something you'd be interested in?
And to stay here with you?
Mm-hmm, yes.
Well, honey-- honey, no promises, okay?
Oh, I know that you'll make sure I can stay.
Oh, all right, let's just keep this our secret for now.
I have to talk it over with Bill first...
And Nicki.
I love you, Barb.
You really are the best mother of the year.
You're the best mother ever.
Honey, I'm home.
I have to go and meet Bill.
Wanda?
What are you doing home?
Why's Alby sleeping on our sofa?
Oh, no.
- What did you do?
- Nothing.
You promised.
Just tell me, am I too late?
Joey, he's a bad man. He's a kook.
What'd you use, honey?
Antifreeze. But you said he was a menace, and he is a menace.
You can't just go around trying to poison everyone who's mean to us. It's not good!
He was threatening my family and my baby, and he's out to break you.
And I'm sorry, honey, but I'm just not gonna let that happen.
I mean, he's a sociopath or a psychopath at least.
Eagle Gas.
Ma, it's me. Can you come over?
Nope. I'm workin'.
Right away, ma. I need you right away.
What is happening?
It's Wanda.
Oh, Lord. Not again.
She poisoned Alby.
Is he dead?
No, not yet, but, uh, uh... Bill's waitin' for me, and I gotta get and I can't leave.
Do you think you could maybe come over, mom, and be with her while I'm gone?
Oh, I don't need anyone, Joey--
No, Wanda, you do!
I asked Nicki to bring over the sewing machine. It sure would help.
What does Nicki really think of this mother of the year thing?
- Spill it.
- She's for it.
- Margie.
- No.
I mean, she said that she thinks it's a tawdry testimonial to monogamy,
but she's all for you winning.
Has she said anything to you about what she's wearing?
Hmm-mm.
Just try to try to get her to wear something a little warm.
I mean, she sticks out like a sore thumb.
Oh...
Well, I-- I know--
I don't want to hurt her feelings, but, um,
it's like walking into the governor's mansion with a sign that says "practicing polygamist,"
and she'll-- she'll never listen to it coming from me.
She'll think I'm attacking her.
I mean, even just offer to do her hair.
Machine.
Thank you.
Bill!
Joey, where have you been? I said meet me here at 2:00.
The meeting started 15 minutes ago.
I know. I'm sorry, Bill. I just-- I lost track of the time.
And I got a flat tire too.
You look pale.
No, I'm just tired.
Uh, I'm nervous about this, Bill.
It's okay. I'm nervous too.
Let's say a prayer on it.
Heavenly Father, we come to you as brothers.
We ask that you protect us and give us strength in this great undertaking.
Grant us victory against our foes,
in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
Amen.
So, uh, the miners refused to return to the mine.
Huh. We gave them a place to shower. Isn't that what they want?
All this fuss over a shower?
They want medical benefits and a retirement package.
Never.
I'm through pussyfooting around.
Report them all to the I.N.S. then replace them.
What are you doing here?
Is this Ernest Holloway's seat?
Ernest Holloway has been excommunicated.
Maybe, but this is his seat or was.
It's the Henrickson seat now. Joey.
Everything okay there?
It's true, Roman. Copies of shares endorsed over.
We're here at your table where we rightfully belong.
Get out of here. Get my son.
Shall we move on to beehive--
As board members, it's our responsibility to review all business and financial transactions.
You will not desecrate our sacred files.
Oh, yes, I will.
Let the record reflect that we are taking the minutes of the last few meetings
so that we can be up to speed next time.
Where's Alby?
There's no answer.
Get him. Get him now.
I can take this right now, Roman.
Or I can go get a cop and enforce our rights as shareholders.
This meeting is out of order.
Article four requires changes in membership be submitted
to the executive board 10 days prior to the meeting
wherein the proposed new member is seated.
That has not happened.
Meeting adjourned.
You, get out of that seat.
I'm staying, Roman.
You okay, miss Hunt?
No, Del. I am not.
Oh gee, I'm sorry to hear that.
Someone I trusted very very much has betrayed me.
If you knew someone was an imposter, Del,
and say they were pretending to be somebody they were not,
hoodwinking others,
and they were about to receive an honor based on false representations,
wouldn't it be your responsibility to sit them down and-and talk to them?
About what?
About what they were doing.
About how misguided they were.
Isn't it your duty to help them?
Well, I suppose it is.
If I thought it was my business.
Gee-- well, I think it is your business. That's what I think.
I mean, how could you live with yourself if you didn't try and help them?
We've got the files, we've got the computer. He can't retaliate. How can he retaliate?
- Hello?
- Here she is.
Mom, hey. Calling to tell you that it went well.
We made it in and we made it back out. And so far, safe and sound.
Well, that's wonderful. Uh, say, could I talk to Joey for a minute, Bill?
That's it? Just "wonderful"?
Fantastic. Super. Really great.
Uh, can you give me Joey?
Hi, mom. How are you?
I'm right as rain, uh, but I'm--
I wonder what you want me to do about our little situation.
And-- and how's that goin'?
What's going on?
He's still passed out,
but his breathing's quickening.
I suspect he's about to wake up, which is a big relief,
but not without its own complications,
so I'm wondering what you would suggest I do.
Honey, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get you in trouble.
Wanda, it's okay, honey. Just put mom back on--
- Joey, what is going on?
- It's bad. It's real bad.
I didn't want to tell you. I wanted to keep it from you,
except now I guess you need to know, because it might affect you.
I mean, when Roman finds out about it. I mean, if.
'Cause he might-- he might not find this out at all.
- What?
- Hello?!
Yeah, mom, hold on a sec!
It's Wanda.
Are you telling Bill? I-- I don't know that I'd do that.
She poisoned Alby. He's lying on the couch.
Big mistake.
- Alby's dead?
- No, but it's close.
Antifreeze.
Like with dad, except not arsenic.
Wanda poisoned dad?
Yeah, kinda.
But she called me. She called me to-- to come and save him.
Well, not really. She called you 'cause she got to feel guilty
about you not having a chance to say goodbye to him.
I mean, we probably should have told you about this, Bill,
and now this has happened. I-- I um--
Just give me the phone. Mom.
Isn't this a dilly?
Get him to a hospital now.
I told you that it wasn't me that tried to poison your father.
But oh no, nobody believed me.
Do you know the effects of the stuff?
Wanda, do you know the effects?
Gets drunk, passes out, then it's the kidneys that go.
Gets drunk, passes out, dies.
Mom, listen to me.
You and Wanda have got to get Alby to a hospital now. Do you hear me?
And you can't be seen doin' it.
And you've got to get rid of his car, and you can't be seen doing that, either.
Then get home and don't move.
We'll be there in a couple of hours.
It's just a cry for help. That's what I think it is.
Mom, go now!
I accept this award on behalf of my loving husband Bill
and our three children--
our three lovely children.
And on behalf of all Utah mothers who juggle schedules,
work, stay up nights,
give selflessly-- sometimes selfishly-- but always give--
All right...
I am mortified. I cannot believe you just saw me doing that.
And don't assume that I think I'm gonna win, by the way.
I think it's human, Barb.
I mean, who doesn't like to win?
You're right.
You asked me to be honest, Barb,
and I'm only sharing my truest, innermost feelings with you because I love you.
I know that, Nicki.
I'm thinking perhaps...
you shouldn't accept this award.
I knew you felt that way, and it's not as if I don't have these misgivings myself.
You know, I think I feel more than just misgivings.
Either we are what we say we are or we're not,
and you accepting this award feels like we're not what we say we are--
a family.
And that hurts me.
So what would you have me do, Nicki,
in this particular situation? What?
Pull out.
Well, I don't see how I can pull out now.
Everyone else is counting on me.
Maybe you're overestimating the importance of this event in all our lives.
Maybe.
But I don't want to pull out.
And when Teenie told me, at first I thought,
"how silly," and "of course, I can't do this."
And then I thought, "wait a minute, yes, I can."
I'm a good mother, Nicki.
And over the last few days, I realized that it's important to me
to feel like I can be seen that way.
Well, what I really came to tell you is I can't go.
Now, wait one minute.
It's important to me that my family be there, that you be there, Nicki.
I have to do what I think is right.
We just found his truck.
Where?
It was parked near the landfill on Miller's Lane.
The cab was unlocked. The keys were inside.
Well, where is he?
We don't know.
Well, did anybody see him?
No, the nearest house is a quarter mile away.
He-- he's never missed a council meeting before.
I bet he's all right.
Let me know when you find him.
No one saw anything. No one knows anything.
Came to your house, asked about Joey, and then he left.
You got it?
No one called you, you-- you didn't come. You know nothing.
Got it.
And no one-- no one-- deviates one iota from that story.
I need one of you three to stay on top of it.
Call the hospital and get checkups on his condition.
- Got it.
- No, not you, you.
And use the cell phone so it can't be traced.
Okay.
You gotta shape up, people. Gotta shape up.
We've gotta hold it together, we gotta go about our business as if everything was normal.
Understand?
Questions?
Well, hello there, honey.
Hi, Adaleen.
Could you come over to the car for a moment?
Oh. Look what you've done to your jacket.
Open the door, sweetie.
- Now, get in.
- No.
May I ask what you think your plans are?
I'm going to win the competition.
Are you?
The competition is over.
Of course, I found out. What kind of sisterwife do you take me for?
Get in, your little Roman holiday is over.
I'm still in the competition.
Oh, you're nothing of the sort.
You can't prove it.
I don't know if you're deluded, demented or merely willfully disobedient.
Now, get in this car tout de suite!
No! I'm through with you, Adaleen!
Rhonda!
Rhonda!
Okay, we'll see. Oh no, you're not gettin' out of this.
You must relinquish the seat.
I'm sorry.
It's too late.
Are you an agent for someone else? Some other group?
Someone covetous of our success?
I am my own agent, Roman.
Well, you're not displeasing me,
you're throwing out a challenge to God.
You shall relinquish that seat,
or I will bring your temple crashing down upon you.
No, you won't. You've had your hands on my throat, now I've got mine on yours.
Everything on your computer I now have on discs.
If anything happens to me or my family,
one copy goes to the district attorney, one to the attorney general
and one to the I.R.S.
I see.
What have you done to Alby?
I don't know what you're talking about.
I don't believe you.
Something's happened to my son,
and I know you're involved in it.
You have become a mad dog, lunging and attacking without cause.
Mad dogs must be eradicated.
Hello?
I've been trying to get in touch with you for hours.
Nicki, I've been a bit busy here.
I just wanted you to know first.
I'm not going to the Beehive mother of the year ceremony.
Of course you're going. Why wouldn't you go?
I can't hide anymore... as a plural wife.
- Nicki.
- But she's just so prideful.
She's floating around like a big balloon.
I want you to support me on this one.
You know I can't take sides.
- Good night, Vickie.
- Night.
You've got to work this out with Barb.
If you truly love her, you'll support her in this.
Good night, Dan.
Say, have you spoken to Wanda or your mom or anyone in the last day or so?
No, why?
No reason. I'll see you later.
Hello, sweetie.
No!
No scenes, honey.
We've packed your bags. It's time to go now.
I'm staying here.
Everyone at home will be so glad to see you. We've missed you terribly.
But-- uh... Barb?
Honey, is the competition really over?
I told you what I did because I wanted to be here with you.
You said I could stay.
Sweetheart, we'll work on it.
But right now, we need to get our ducks in order.
No. No ducks!
I know this is a blow, but we will make it work.
We will. We just need some time to sort it out.
Sarah, Teenie, Ben! Five minutes!
That's great, Joey.
Alby's still alive. There's been no retribution.
No one knows anything.
We just might get out of this alive.
If we're lucky, it just might work out okay.
But if he dies, all bets are off.
Well, look at you.
You've never looked more beautiful.
Thank you.
Here, you take the tickets.
Oh... beautiful.
Thanks.
Hi! The babysitters have landed.
Jojo, um, babysitters?
Barb, could you... close your eyes?
Okay, open.
Thank you.
Meet you there.
Thank you.
There's just two tickets left.
No, that's not right.
No, there's six. Check in the--
Uh, it's--
Ken Byington, please.
Barbara Henrickson.
Yes, I requested six tickets and all I have are four.
But-- but they're family. They're-- they're family from out of town.
Sisters.
Well, what do-- we do-- what do you mean, "clear"?
I-- I can give you the names right now, and--
All right, thank you.
It's...
too late.
Bill here.
Uh, Bill, um, we've got a problem here.
There's a cop here. He's asking questions.
He's questioning Wanda.
What should we say? What should we do?
I'll be sure to tell her, Joey.
Stick to the story. Just stick to the story!
Uh-huh, yeah, okay.
Yes.
I would like to speak with someone about this evening's ceremony.
Correct.
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen.
I'm Ken Byington, assistant to the first lady.
I'd like to welcome you all here tonight.
And without further ado, I would like introduce the first lady, Evelyn Linton.
We are so pleased-- honored in fact-- to have these three lovely women,
women who serve both community and home,
women who've survived the most difficult of trials in life,
only to carry on and give selflessly back to their families
without complaint, but with valor and courage.
Now, any of these three women on this dais would make a stupendous statement,
setting an example of motherhood in Utah.
But we have to choose one of them--
Uh... one moment. Um, my husband, trying to figure out the computer.
Um, I just heard that...
What do you think you would have done if you hadn't married us?
Uh... be dating... someone.
Out of Utah for sure.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
Probably Portland.
Oregon?
So shocked.
I had a friend, she opened a bakery there.
Mmm, she said it was really nice.
People rode bikes everywhere. There was lots of water.
Said I could work the counter.
And then you met Bill?
Yeah.
How about you?
Well, I probably would have been placed with a husband from the compound.
Wow.
There was this one guy... Gerry,
I knew him for a long time, and he was nice enough.
He was younger.
I mean, you know, 40s.
He made some kind of overture to my father about me.
You didn't want him?
Sometimes you don't get a lot of choice there.
Do you think fate brought you to Bill?
Marge, I brought me to Bill.
Excuse me, ma'am.
Would you mind stepping over to the side for a moment, please?
What is it? What-- what happened?
Ma'am, excuse me. I need to be direct.
Are you engaged in polygamy?
You have to answer the question.
Are you a polygamist?
Good heavens. What are we gonna do?
Explain a disqualification and proceed.
What kind of disqualification?
Anything but the truth.
What's happening?
- Take her out the back way.
- Sure.
But-- but-- but... my family.
Ma'am, let's not make this any more difficult than it already is.
Please.
One of our contestants had to withdraw for personal reasons.
Um, but we send our sympathies to her, Barbara Henrickson, and...
we congratulate her for making it this far.
And, uh... now, on with the program.
What's happening to my wife?
She's been disqualified.
Why?
Sir, that would be a matter for you to discuss with her...
and your other wives.
This will be settled in a moment.
Thank you all for your patience.
We're leaving. Let's go.
Let's go!
Come on.
Hello, Sarah.
We've been exposed.
I don't know how bad it is or how bad it's gonna get.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know what to do.
Dad's on the phone with Don Embry.
It's not good for Home Plus.
We're goners.
Yeah, okay. Thanks.
- Where is she?
- Upstairs.
- What are you doing?
- Protecting us!
They could come for us! They could burn us down!
No, honey.
Oh, you could be arrested, you could be taken!
Nicki, no. Nicki!
- That doesn't happen anymore. We're safe.
- You've got to hide!
It's okay, we're safe. Shh...
Oh my goodness.
We're safe. We're safe. Shh.
Barb?
- I can't.
- Barb, please.
I can't.
I got what I deserved.
Oh, boss lady...