Big City Greens (2018–…): Season 3, Episode 7 - DependaBill/The Delivernator - full transcript

Theme music playing...

SINGER:
One, two, three, four ♪

♪ La, la, la, la,
la, la, la, la ♪

La, la, la, la, la ♪

CRICKET: Order of quiet,
(indistinct)

And I said, "No. No."

Uh-huh. Great story, son.

- New neighbor?
- DOUG: Oh, oh, oh. Ooh!

Hey, neighbor.
You need a hand?

Are you gonna rob me?

Rob you?
No, I'd never...



No, no, Rob's my uncle's name.

Nice guy.

He's the kind of fella
who'd be nice enough

to help a stranger out.

(laughs)
Oh. That was a joke.

And you're actually asking
for my help.

In that case,
it'd be my pleasure to Rob you.

I'm not a criminal.

That remains to be seen.

I'm Doug Perkins
and I like your pants.

Bill Green.
And... what?

They're covered in stains.

I don't get the stigma
with stains.

We pay extra for stained wood,
why not stained pants?



Ha! Doug Perkins,

you must be some kind
of comedian.

CRICKET: Uh, what just happened?

NANCY: I think your dad's
making a friend.

BILL: Wow.
Is this your place?

Whoa, wait a second.

Doug Perkins,
do you like fishing?

No, I don't.

I love it!

- Ah!
- Bill, are you okay?

That is the funniest
flip-flapping joke

I have ever heard.

DOUG: You're pretty funny
yourself, Bill Green.

BILL: Well,
it was very nice to meet you.

Huh? Fishing Buddies
Fishing Competition?

DOUG: Oh, yeah.

Me and my fishing buddy
were gonna go together,

but he backed out
at the last minute.

What? But the most important
quality in a fishing buddy is

- dependability.
- Dependability.

I agree. But what's a lone
fisherman to do?

Well, nice to meet you, Bill.

I wonder if we'll ever see
each other again.

BILL: Nice to meet you too,
Doug Perkins.

Nice to meet you, too.

TILLY: This place is fantastic!

Just think,
if our dryer hadn't conked out,

we never would've experienced
such majesty.

Hmm, what's this?

My sock is missing
its companion.

GRAMMA: Did you say something?
Sorry, Tilly.

I'm listening to my
True Crime podcast

about conspiracies.

There's always a reason
for everything.

Always.

I see.

It was a typical Saturday.

Girl and her grandma
visit the laundromat.

We've all heard it before.

But when a sock goes missing,

it opens up new questions,

questions about strangers
sitting next to us,

paying to wash
their secrets away.

Strangers with an unfathomable
darkness within,

a darkness, a secret
leading back to one question.

Who took my sock?

BILL: And then
Doug Perkins says,

"I don't like fishing,
I love fishing!" Ha!

Hmm, that guy's a real hoot.

I wish I could be
his fishing buddy.

You're dependable.
You should just ask him.

Pfft, yeah,
if I wanted to get rejected.

What?

Mom's right, Dad.
Asking works.

I asked Remy to help me
launch a chicken into space.

And look at us now.

You should be direct.

Hmm, you're right, Cricket.

I need to prove
how dependable I am

so Doug Perkins will ask me
to be his fishing buddy.

I did not say that.

- I'mma do it.
- Okay.

- Doug Perkins.
- Bill Green.

I was just fixing something
around the house

and I thought I'd be
a dependable neighbor

and see if there's something
I can fix for you.

As a matter of fact, there is.

You really saved my behind,
Bill Green.

- Come on in.
- Don't mind if I do. Yes.

So what needs fixing?

A squeaky door,
a flickering light bulb?

Actually, my whole apartment
needs rewiring.

BILL: Well, I've never done
the wiring before,

but I'm sure it's the same
basic rules as fishing.

The key is patience.

Right you are, Bill.

Oh, wow.

DOUG: Everything okay
up there, Bill?

- Absolutely.
- Thanks, Bill.

Good to have you around.

It's fine.
It's fine.

TILLY: The sock had yet
to turn up,

so I decided to inquire
with some of the locals.

- Brett the dog man.
- Oh, hey, Tilly.

TILLY: Now, Brett,
have you ever seen this sock?

- Yeah, it's right there.
- TILLY: No!

I mean, the sock's twin.

It mysteriously vanished
and I'm asking around

for any leads.

Nah, I stopped wearing socks
a long time ago,

after half of them went missing.

Oh, yeah. Me, too.
Happens all the time.

Happens all the time?

One missing sock?
Sure, it could happen.

BRETT: Bye, Tilly.

TILLY:
But multiple missing socks

all vanishing
from the same location?

Perhaps they were connected.

BILL: Still working real hard
on those wires for you, Doug.

Real, real hard.

Are you working hard
or hardly working?

That's a good one.

- Bill?
- Everything's fine.

I will fix it.
Just stay right there.

- No, no, no, no.
- Dependable Bill is on it!

Dang it, Bill. Gah!

Breaking a man's ceiling
is not dependable.

Okay.
There's still time to fix this!

DOUG: Hey, Bill.

Yeah, I don't think
this is working out.

- I'm gonna call a professional.
- No.

You put a hole in my ceiling.

Ah!

TILLY:
I've been hard at work,

but the sock thief
had yet to be found.

I needed a pair of fresh eyes,

the freshest eyes I knew.

Any leads, Andromeda?

Yes. I've discovered this lint.

TILLY: The trail's run cold.

We're all out of leads.

Show us a sign.

Like that sign?

- Hello.
- Oh, hello.

I'm Mr. Fluffenfold.

How can I help you two today?

Tell me, Mr. Fluffenfold,
exactly how many years

of your ownership
have been dedicated

to the blatant cover-up
of sock theft?

Ah, wait a minute, what?

Look at me!

Blink once if you're being
controlled from the shadows.

Now, that's quite enough.

Socks go missing
from every laundromat

in the world.

You don't have to single me out.

BOTH: (gasps)

Every laundromat in the world?

This goes deeper than I possibly
ever imagined!

And then I broke a hole
in his ceiling,

and then I broke his table,

and then he told me
he needs to call a professional,

and now there's no way
he thinks I'm dependable.

What do I do?

You're in deep, father.

Clearly the only way out of this
is to pose yourself

as the repairman,
fix everything you broke

in the first place,
earn back his trust and respect,

and reveal yourself as yourself
to his delight.

- That'd be funny.
- No, it wouldn't.

- But would it work?
- No, it wouldn't!

Ah! You must be the repairman
I ordered.

Pleased to meet you, mister...

William.
William Yellow.

I love that! You don't mind
if I call you Will, do you?

Even better.

I'll have everything fixed
in a jiffy.

You just hang tight.

Huh. That guy really knows
his way around.

What a professional.

Wow, Will.

You sure got this place
in order.

BILL: It was a real mess.

But cleaning up the wires
is like tying a fish line.

We got the bass
on the line knot,

the Captain's Hook,
and the Double Friendship knot.

Your wiring is not gonna be
bothering you anymore.

Well, may I be the first to say,

Will done.

I can't thank you enough.

I was in a bit of a bind
after my neighbor

botched the repair job.

Oh, it wasn't that bad.

You saw what a doozy
it was up there.

No, no, no. I needed someone
dependable like you.

BILL: Well,
it's funny you say that

because ta-da.

- Huh?
- Uh...

Bill Green?

You dressed up like a repairman
to sneak into my house

to fix the mess you made?

- Yes.
- Get out!

Eyy, you ordered some repairs?

I'll come back another time.

REMY: Sorry you blew it,
Mr. Green.

Thanks, Remy.

Did you at least
learn a lesson?

Never trust a Cricket scheme.

That is a solid learn.

Or you gotta be honest
with your friends,

even the ones
you haven't made yet.

I guess you're right.

- (clears throat)
- Oh, Dad.

I know what'll cheer you up.

- Fishing!
- Yeah.

Fishing always makes
everything right.

Who needs friends?

TILLY: Gramma,
after tracking stories

of socks a-vanishing
from laundromats

all over the city,

we came to a shocking realization.

- Big sock.
- Big sock?

What the heck is that?

It's a secret conglomerate
of every sock company

in the world.

They pay laundromat owners
to steal customer socks,

forcing innocent people
to buy socks again and again.

Rinse and repeat.

GRAMMA: Girls,
this theory is so wild

that it's gotta be true.

What are we gonna do?

Quick, put on every sock
you can find!

They can't steal it
if it's on your body.

I'm on it!

TILLY: As I watched them
spring into action,

I've realized
how truly insignificant

we all are in this.

Here we sit in the dark,
tugging at one loose thread

in a tapestry of lies so big,

it's beyond our very comprehension,

a truth so horrifying
that to try to even imagine it

would leave one...

Oh, wait, uh,
there's my other sock.

Shut it down, you two.
Sock was under the machine.

What?

Sorry, ladies.
Case is closed.

My sock was here the whole time.

I guess the conspiracy was fake.

- Thank goodness.
- Phew!

Guess we went
a little crazy there.

Can we still put on
lots of socks?

I have looked worse.

TILLY:
Yeah, I could get into that.

ANDROMEDA: Hurray!

MR. FLUFFENFOLD:
I put her sock back

where you told me
and it looks like

she no longer
suspects you, ma'am.

Very good,
but be more careful next time.

Nothing can jeopardize
the sockening!

You're crazy.
You're crazy!

BILL: I thought fishing
would help,

but it just doesn't feel right.

DOUG: Bill,
what are you doing here?

- Spying on me?
- Doug Perkins? No.

I promise I didn't even know
you were...

Fishing was my idea to try
and cheer him up.

I don't really know who you are,
but I'll have no part

in whatever new trick this is.

See, Nancy?

He doesn't want
anything to do with me.

- Can we just go?
- No.

Kids, follow that boat.

- Just talk to him.
- Oh.

(sighs)

Doug Perkins,
I just wanna say

I'm real sorry for how I acted.

I was trying to prove
how dependable I'd be

as a friend and I made
a big mess of everything.

But when I mess up,
you can depend on me

to try and make things right.

So I'm gonna ask
once and for all,

Doug Perkins, would you like
to be my fishing buddy?

DOUG: No.
No, I would not.

Oh.

I'd love to!

Oh, it's the joke from before.

NANCY: Go to him.

Hello, Bill Green.
It's me, Doug Perkins.

CRICKET: Yeah, dad!

DOUG: Back when I pulled you
out of the water,

I was thinking of saying,
"Oh, I caught a big one."

BILL: Oh, man.
I would've laughed so hard.

DOUG: Really?
I'll use it next time then.

BILL: Oh, Doug Perkins,
you're a hoot!